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gnoll5
01-27-07, 4:22 pm
" let the bodies hit the floor"
"let the bodies hit the floor"

over and over in my head. i'm walking around, eyeing up the stack of iron in front of me. dirty little b*tch, i'm thinkin', so you think you can bully me huh?...give it a slap on the way by; probably a good thing i workout alone, people'd think i'm weird hitting the weights as i gather myself to lift them. they piss me off. bigtime. why? cuz they think they are the shit. yeah, i can lift this iron bully right now, slap it around a bit, but you know what? it just laughs back at me. i can hear it saying "whatever man, lift me, throw me around, but ya know what? i got backups right overr there. see'em? over there, on that stack...ya thats right bitch, they'll be here next time, and the next, and you won't ever beat us...."
"one...somethin' wrong with me..
two, somethin' wrong with me..."

this is the demon that haunts me in the lift, the Iron Bully laughin' at me, belittling me, talkin' smack and knockin' me down a few notches...think you're tough? not to the bully you ain't; it'll hand you a mouthful of shit each and every time you think you're good. bastard. its all good though. i'm gonna keep fightin' that fight. someday that bully ain't gonna say shit to me....someday...

Fear
01-27-07, 4:34 pm
Man thats wut this is all about. Your article makes me want to go bully some iron right now. Come to think of it....thats not a bad plan. Thanks for the motivation man.

ghost
01-28-07, 2:49 pm
fucking awesome man...

keep beating that bully..keep knockin around those weights...it is more than acceptable to smack the weights when lifting. show em who the fuck is boss..

drive on brother


strength and honor.

abs
01-28-07, 3:08 pm
Damn right, gnoll5. Beat that demon into submission and don't stop beating it, cos you know it'll be back to try and haunt you next time...

gnoll5
01-29-07, 4:23 pm
It's all about the driving force behind us. Why do we do this? For the taste, thats why. Taste of what? The taste of victory. The taste of self improvement. The taste of glory. The taste of whats to come. You know what I'm talkin' about. That little glimmer, the sliver of adrenaline that you taste when you set a new personal best. the little taste of sweetness you get when someone gives you a compliment. The little taste of achievement we get after a gruelling day at the gym. Everyone of us gets the taste. From the joes right up to the pros. And that little taste keeps us hungry. Hungry for more.
The taste begins for us at different times in our lives. For some of us it begins with a taste of achievement in our high school years. The taste of victory outlifting the rest of the gym class. the taste of sweet complimentary looks from the opposite sex, you know, the little hotties you sit next to in class, that wouldn't remember your name if they tried. Until now.
For others it began a little later on, a taste not so sweet still on your breath; the taste of defeat, of self doubting and worthlessness. the bitter taste you came home with too often from eating shit at work, from an ex belittling you at every turn, from your own inner demon laughing at your fat lazy ass staring back at you in the mirror. Only now you have replaced that taste with the sweet taste of success, of being your own master and noones fucking servant. Because thats what you are now; the master of your universe.
I pity the poor bastards that wallow through life without the good taste. Of waking every day to nothing more to look forward to than puckering up and kissing someone elses ass for the day, to come home and sit in front of the tv and soak up the artificial tastes promised by the daily action hero. but those aren't their tastes; its someone elses' version, and it still tastes like shit.
Bodybuilding gives us the taste that far too many of us will never get to experience. The mastery of ourselves and slave to none. We know what its like to achieve, to conquer, to rise above the daily projected norm. We have sipped from victories sweet cup, and will continue to dine on anyone standing in our way. You never get full from your tastes, just keep getting hungrier, no matter what level you are on in this journey. So my brothers in iron, savour the taste that you get each and every day, rise above the shit spoon fed to you, and never ever forget if you can't taste it anymore, you just don't want it anymore.

gnoll5
01-30-07, 4:21 pm
you sit there and wonder. how the fuck did you end up here again? am i some kinda freak? who the fuck does this to themselves day in and day out anyways? your mind is racing, but its about the only thing left thats working halfassed right now. your body is spent, quivering and clutching, your legs sprawled out in front of you, two lifeless chunks of meat seemingly detached from your body right now. complete fucking carnage, thats what today was. hell, thats what everyday is. if its not the legs lying there worthless, its the arms. or the back. on any given day its a bodypart pushed beyond recognition. too many afternoons spent lying in a coma, wondering how bad its gonna be the next day.
you know eventually the fog is gonna clear from your brain, and that sooner or later your legs are gonna have to move again. gotta go feed the machine, get that protein and nutrients flowin' again; its about the only thing thats gonna save you now. just a few more minutes; one sudden movement now and your either gonna be sprawled out in a lump on the floor or spewing whatever breakfast was today all over the floor.
ahhh...and now comes the burn. the numbing throb of fire that seems to emminate from the bone, ripping through your limbs like a brushfire. fuck it hurts...kinda. but almost a nice pain, a comfort in knowing you demolished what you have built so steadfastedly the last months...shit man, years, knowing with the right fuel this fires gonna burn bigger and better than ever before. this is the feeling of new found growth, of ripping apart the foundation and waiting for the rebuild. this is the feeling of completion.

vik
01-30-07, 4:24 pm
good post brother real inspirtional

Revolutionary
01-30-07, 4:26 pm
yo nice little article here bro ur a pretty good writer kid... very descriptive and interesting i actually sat here and read the whole thing and didn't regret wasting my time... heh keep it up bro.

gnoll5
01-31-07, 2:18 pm
thanks for takin' the time. not too sure where this shit comes from, just kinda hits me and i feel the need to write it out. i know its not the best written, but its nice to have somewhere to put it out there and have others know what i'm sayin'.

Berserker
02-01-07, 8:27 am
good post

Berserker
02-01-07, 8:29 am
Amen bro.

hjayss
02-01-07, 8:33 am
Brother Preach On

gnoll5
02-01-07, 2:33 pm
" 200 pounds is always 200 pounds"...Henry Rollins.
How much fucking truth is there in that statement? It's undisputable, it's perfect simplicity and truth. It's been quoted several times on these threads, and every time it strikes me deep. You can't fuck with that statement, it is what it is. Over and over I replay it in my head...200 lbs is always 200 lbs...perfect.
Its something that I will carry forth in my everyday existence on this planet we call home. A culture and society so bent on deception and empty promises, its refreshing to hear this in my head. We all run into the bullshit on a daily basis, from every walk of life. In the gym, buddy proclaims a 500 lb Bench press, but damn, I couldn't do it again, I'm pretty tired and its not chest day....right.
Or how 'bout the endless parade of bullshit from our politicians? Um, I didn't do anything wrong. Really. I promise....right.
Or how about some of the supplement companies out there promising amazing results in just 2 days. I've been bit by that bug, I'm sorry to say, and all I can say to most of them is Bullshit.
Time after time, day after day we all run into so much crap that its hard to know what the truth is anymore. Yet, 200 pounds is always 200 pounds.
By simply following the lead of these simple words, I will live my life. What you see is what you get, what I say you can take to the bank. You see, this is just another way that the iron life has changed me. I don't have time for all of the crap and empty promises in my life. I'm too busy letting the iron teach me the value of being a straight shooter, and I think it's a valuable tip we can all call our own; the animal way. No bullshit, no lies, just straight up, in your face, 100% honesty, thats the way to live a life. Its the way of the iron...because 200 pounds is ALWAYS 200 pounds.

EIGHTY-TWO
02-01-07, 3:34 pm
I am stuck on 195 but I haven't been faithfully using my creatine. I have never been 200...was 215 (flabby) & It fucking sucked !!!
I will get there & that 5 pounds will be PURE muscle....stay tuned !!!

wedge
02-01-07, 7:46 pm
I am stuck on 195 but I haven't been faithfully using my creatine. I have never been 200...was 215 (flabby) & It fucking sucked !!!
I will get there & that 5 pounds will be PURE muscle....stay tuned !!!

I will be staying tuned. I'm on the same quest as you are. I've never weighed more than 180 until last month. After a month and a half of eating everything in sight and pushing myself harder than I though possible (thanks to everyone in here) I'm now up to 192. I want 200 pounds within the next two months.
I'll see you on the other side of the scales.
"200 lbs is always 200 lbs."

Pook
02-02-07, 10:24 am
graduating highschool at a mere 140lbs...


i thought i was hot shit at 180lbs...

once you get to the 190+ mark that 200 is like the bar.. you wanna hit it so bad... but honestly... i finally hit it after a year of being at 190-198 you have your ups and downs...

now when i look in the mirror at 210lbs... i feel so small... 220 feels like a million miles away

gnoll5
02-08-07, 4:41 pm
too many times have i sat alone on the end of my bench, thinkin' shit to myself. shit like 'you're still a skinny little wus' and 'why bother pussy-boy, you ain't goin' anywhere'. too many days i have sat in front of the mirror, flexing my wannabe muscles, desparately trying to convince myself that i have grown. that demon inside me taunting me, tellin' me to give it up, you haven't achieved shit and you never will. your genetics are all wrong. you're too old. sit your ass back on that couch and have some Doritos ya pasty white bag of shit. for years i listened to this little bastard in my head; too weak physically and mentally to shut it out. i still hear him, laughing at me as i complete set after set of squats, deads, benches, so on and so on, day after day i sweat my ass off in that basement, but still he haunts me. i think for most of us, we have a similar demon in our head. no matter how big or strong we get, theres that voice in our heads taunting us, fucking with our egos, telling us to give up.
but we don't.
we can't.
it ain't in us to quit.
we'll fight.
we'll win battle after battle.
why?

cuz we're the Animals.
...and we can.

Preston
02-08-07, 4:46 pm
Yeah bro, everyone I think has that little guy in their head fuckin' with 'em. Plus, everyone is the harshest of critiques against themselves, but, that's what makes us so great. We see such faults, that we push, pull and dig deep to max out that next rep to send just a little more blood into our muscle. Then we eat.

We do this day in, day out. Every day seeing some kind of results. No worry though bro, you got guy's behind your back and if anything, with your kind of motivation, your gonna go way far bro. Just keep pushin and don't let shit get in your way, and if people try to mess with your head, fuck 'em bro. You know what your doin ;]

-Preston

darkside64
02-08-07, 4:55 pm
bro no matter how big you get, you wont be big enough. When I weighed 180lbs I said that I would be satisfied when I weigh 210lbs, I finally got to the point where I weighed 250 and I still was not satisfied. Be happy with your physique, but do not be content. Eat large, train large be large. I have more respect for a skinny teenager busting his balls in the gym training while his "boys" are out partying, than some huge juicehead

Hollow
02-09-07, 2:29 pm
too many times have i sat alone on the end of my bench, thinkin' shit to myself. shit like 'you're still a skinny little wus' and 'why bother pussy-boy, you ain't goin' anywhere'. too many days i have sat in front of the mirror, flexing my wannabe muscles, desparately trying to convince myself that i have grown. that demon inside me taunting me, tellin' me to give it up, you haven't achieved shit and you never will. your genetics are all wrong. you're too old. sit your ass back on that couch and have some Doritos ya pasty white bag of shit. for years i listened to this little bastard in my head; too weak physically and mentally to shut it out. i still hear him, laughing at me as i complete set after set of squats, deads, benches, so on and so on, day after day i sweat my ass off in that basement, but still he haunts me. i think for most of us, we have a similar demon in our head. no matter how big or strong we get, theres that voice in our heads taunting us, fucking with our egos, telling us to give up.
but we don't.
we can't.
it ain't in us to quit.
we'll fight.
we'll win battle after battle.
why?

cuz we're the Animals.
...and we can.

Fuck! I'm fired up for the weights! Sucks I'm at work! Keep up the writing.

gnoll5
02-09-07, 6:04 pm
deeper and deeper my mind slips. its slipping farther and farther into the recesses of my head, drudging out images and thoughts that had long been forgotten. exgirls, people crossing my path, injustices drawn out in front of me. the list goes on and on, pieces of my past flashing through my skull as i bring the weight up one more, two more , three more times. they fuel my inner fire, they feed the beast that lurks inside my head. god forbid if that beast is ever unleashed. even i don't know how to control it. its there to serve its purpose. to fuel my conscious as i lift these plates. it is my demon locked deep, only unchained when called upon. it is strong; stronger than i. it is good, it is evil, it can leave me in peace or raise holy hell. one more rep, one more set, the beast can go on...can i? fuck ya. i named my beast. its name is Determination. its is unconquerable, unstoppable, and unafraid. whats your beast called?

BeastofBurden
02-09-07, 6:49 pm
Refer to the username haha.. You write good shit bro keep it coming

gnoll5
02-12-07, 3:56 pm
so often I have come across this question around here: whats makes us Animals? I have replied a few times with what I believe is the simple and honest truth; we do. it is in our own lives, the course that it takes through the years that ultimately define who we are, what we have become, and what we hope to become. many of us have success stories in our journeys, many of us have bad times in our journeys, but all of us our bound by one simple path; a brotherhood of the iron.
i look back at all of the paths i have chosen to take in my life. many were poor choices, many of these poor choices were made to be good experiences. but all of these paths have lead me to one greater road, a so called highway of life. the highway of iron.
why am I an Animal? what makes me an Animal? I have made myself an Animal. It is who I am, driven by my failures and successes in life. It has made me an Animal from lifes little lessons jabbing at me through the bars of my cage, tormenting and teasing me until i bite back, until I swipe it away with claws sharpened by experience. respect me, be respected. torment me, prepare to be bitten. it really is that simple. it is how i wake up each day and prepare myself for the world. it is how i will teach my children as they grow up and branch out from the den, just as it was taught to me by my parents.
The Animal inside of me has finally found a home, a place that calms and protects me, It is the sanctuary of Iron that I turn to for solice. My physical strength from moving the Iron, my mental strength from being humbled by the iron. The iron doesn't give a fuck who you are or what your walk in life is, so long as that walk leads you onto the highway of self redemption. respect it, it will respect and serve you. disrepect it and it will turn around and bite you in the ass. The Iron is the way of the Animal, a lesson in life well taught on a daily basis.

Hollow
02-12-07, 4:17 pm
Another fine read! Keep them coming.

gnoll5
02-12-07, 5:50 pm
all at once, a wave of exuberance and excitement floods through us as we enter the gym. the familiar sounds and smells enter our senses like a wolf sniffing out its prey. adrenaline courses through our veins, goosebumps raise like ant hills on our flesh in the anticipation of the events about to unfold. a knot begins coiling in our stomachs as we envision the battle ahead. our muscles tense, contracting with the beat of our hearts that has risen above the din coming from within these sacred walls, pounding out a rhythm so beautifully simple. our nostrils flair at the smell of iron, a cold and mechanical smell, reminiscent of the coppery taste of blood. our senses have come to a peak, we are poised and ready, our brains fused with one single purpose and one train of thought. we are Animals, consumed by the passion of the iron.

gnoll5
02-14-07, 1:38 pm
Training at home has its benefits. Solitude. no waiting. no spandex wearing wannabes...just me and my thoughts...and my old friend, the iron. every time i enter my animal den, i take a second to marvel in it. why? its not the nicest place, just a corner of a basement converted into a training room. hell, its not even that clean, and kinda smells funky. but each time i enter, a wave of nostalgia hits me. memories of past workouts, days upon days of sweat and toil are scarred into this room; you can almost taste it. weight lost, weight gained, its all happened in this room. i sit down upon my bench and look around. not much to see really. various benches, lots of iron plates and a few posters are about it.
the quiet envelops me like an entity unto itself; full of electricity and life, vibrant in its nothingness. the plates and benches seem to whisper to me...'hello old friend, come to pay your dues once more?'. ya, i nod to myself....fuck ya. another couple of minutes and the silence will be thwarted away by the sounds of music and iron moving. it seems almost a shame to disturb the sleeping entity in this room. but the beast must rise, it must be summoned from its slumber to once again join me in my journey. i enter this room alone, yet i am accompanied on this journey every time.

Hollow
02-14-07, 2:16 pm
This one goes on the wall. The solitude of working out in the basement.

ghost
02-14-07, 2:25 pm
i love having my gym as my 2nd bedroom...wouldnt change it for anything, i need more weights, but thats about it. the walls are littered with Wraths posters and other stuff from the site. dont ever forget that we improvise. hehe.

gnoll5
02-16-07, 4:56 pm
I am constantly amazed at the amount of people I see on here each and every day. Up until this forum was created i thought i was one of a few; one of a few that dared to live the life of an Animal. the first day i signed up I was impressed by the numbers already onboard, and every day that goes by i see new names and new stories attached to the names.
I think the most impressive fact that has come to me in all of the posts and threads that i read, are how much this forum has already changed the lives of many of us. I have read stories of alcoholics reverted, fat, lazy and unmotivated people that don't want to live that life anymore. other guys are frustrated or heartbroken over the loss of a loved one, girlfriend/boyfriend, spouse, pet...all overcome or in the healing process in large part because of the iron and the brotherhood here.
Equally cool is the fact that so many pros join in the fray, and not one of them have an ego attached to the name. they all genuinely care and want to help others, regardless of time constraints and training schedules.
I had been a part of a few other web forums related to this sport, but not one of them came close to the brotherhood that has collected here. and all of this has happened in a few short months; imagine the forum in a year. a couple of years. incredible.
i guess this post has no real point to it, other than the fact that i am extremely grateful and excited to be a part of such a great place. besides, where else can i write my warped stories and actually have them read? and understood?!?! this forum has been and will continue to be a valuable tool in my training, and in my lifestyle. whats it mean to you?

k1usa
02-16-07, 4:58 pm
welcome to the revolution....what a great passion we all have for the iron...bully that fucking bar...hit the gym....punish the iron always bro...

gnoll5
02-16-07, 5:34 pm
how many times in life have we been pushed? taunted, bullied, belittled...each and every one of us have had the feeling of the underdog. the feeling of not measuring up to our own yardstick of life. fuck man, we feel it every day in the gym. benched 300? thats great, but guess what? theres another plate waiting for you, waiting to join its' brothers in iron to once again knock you around and piss on you. you may win the battle for today, but tomorrow is a whole new game, and the war is far from over. on this battlefield we are soldiers of destiny. we fight the unconquerable. we grasp life by the throat each and every day only to have it reel around and spit its venom in our faces. the weak among us have died at its mercy; only the strong will survive. every day we give the iron bully a straight up fuck you. we grab him by the tail and hold on for all we're worth, hoping that one day we will stand tall and strong and laugh in its face. one day. for now we will sharpen our wits like steel swords, we will forge our bodies into steel plates of armour, and ready ourselves for the battles to come. are you worthy?

gnoll5
02-23-07, 2:50 pm
so i just got back from Vegas, and thought i'd share some thoughts. this is only the second time in 15 years i have been to the United States, and i realize a lot of what i say won't be news to most, but to me, an eye opener.
the peeps - perhaps it was the location, a tourist friendly spot, but i found the people absolutely fantastic. i admit, i had let myself be swayed by the opinion that Americans are rude and unfriendly, but this was hardly the case. anyone that i met or dealt with were open and friendly.
the place - sin city, the city that never sleeps are both right on the money. in a word to sum up Vegas: decadant. no matter what it was, it was big. very impressive.
the food - in a word: crap. from hotel buffets to the lowly mcd's, i found the food there absolutely disgusting. and its no wonder that obesity is such a problem. if it wasn't dripping with oil, it was deep fried. and theres no such thing as a 'small' or light meal; big, bigger and biggest was the only 3 sizes available.
me - it was fantastic to take 4 days and recharge the batteries so to speak. i am def looking forward to hitting the weights saturday, as my body feels fresher than ever. i have to admit i ate absolute shit and loved every minute of it!! gained some bad pounds, but oh well.

gnoll5
02-24-07, 9:55 am
seems lately i find myself doubting myself a lot more. probably has to do with the weather; 2 months of fucking snow and cold is starting to piss me off. i think a lot of it is the weight gain i have experienced lately too, although i know i'm the only one to blame, as my diet has been pretty shitty. in all actuallity, when i stop and really think about it, any weakness or self pity or doubt or poor results can only be blamed on one thing: me. see, for the last couple weeks i have been pissing and moaning about lack of results, about bad weight gain and just generally getting myself down about the whole life. then i started to read some old entries in the Journey, diary of a madman, and some entries by machine on the website. seems a refresher course was in order on why i do this. as i read everything seemed to click back into place, as far as where my head is at. the fuckin' stuff these guys write is sacred shit for anyone who lifts and i highly recommend to anyone feelin' the blahs to go back and do some reading. it will put your head back in the right place. i am psyched to get back at it 110% and do something about it, instead of whining, i will be winning.

Big Rich
02-24-07, 10:11 am
Everyone "falls off the wagon"... Don't beat yourself up too bad.
Good to see that you realize it was happening and are prepared to turn that shit back around.

Onward!

gnoll5
02-24-07, 11:34 am
the battle begins with a blast of music so heavy and deep it seems to summon the beast on its own. primal rage seeps from my veins as i load up the bar for the first assault. a wave of uncertainty flashes through my mind for a brief moment: could i fail? fuck that, failure is not an option. i grasp the bar with a death grip and begin the attack. the iron bully knashes its teeth and pushes back with all its might, screaming and snarling at me as i move it rep by rep. acid begins boiling in my muscles as the bully keeps pushing back at me, but i won't give up...i can't. not now, not ever. 8, 9, 10 reps, my body is shaking and twitching as the bully continues its counter attack.
on this battlefield, wins and losses aren't counted. survive or die is the only yardstick which can be used to measure success. its a survival instinct imprinted in our genes from birth: eat or be eaten.
wave after wave of attacks continue on, me against the iron bully, win or die trying. set after set, rep after rep we fight a raging battle, me with my hands gripped firmly around its neck, the beast pushing down on me with unfatigued force. how can we possibly defeat the untirable with our mortal bodies? i don't have the answer yet, but will die trying, each and every day on the battlefield.

Giant Killer
02-24-07, 12:04 pm
Yeah gnoll, american food is all bullshit. Theres probably not a single place you can "eat out" that is clean-the only exception I can think of being a sushi bar, since they don't do shit to it thats the only thing that saves it. It's too bad really, but very obvious why theres an obesity epidemic. The funniest thing is that when you do find clean food, it costs more than shit food even though it costs less to prepare. It's like you have to pay for the privelige of not being like everyone else. Oh well, we're used to paying our dues to not be like everyone else. No new shit there. From where do you hail, by the way?

gnoll5
02-24-07, 2:10 pm
Yeah gnoll, american food is all bullshit. Theres probably not a single place you can "eat out" that is clean-the only exception I can think of being a sushi bar, since they don't do shit to it thats the only thing that saves it. It's too bad really, but very obvious why theres an obesity epidemic. The funniest thing is that when you do find clean food, it costs more than shit food even though it costs less to prepare. It's like you have to pay for the privelige of not being like everyone else. Oh well, we're used to paying our dues to not be like everyone else. No new shit there. From where do you hail, by the way?

i live in a town about 2 hours north of Toronto Canada. awesome place in the summer, beaches everywhere, but damn miserable in the winter.
i found it extremely hard just to find clean food to eat there. not that i minded eating crap; i was on vacation after all!! but it was very expensive (i figured it would be) but terrible in preparation and taste.

IronBreed
02-26-07, 8:45 pm
i've been feeling the same way lately. i'll be taking your advice and doing a little more reading and getting my head back in the game. thanks for sharing, at least i know i'm not the only one who needs a pick me up. time to get that diet and training back on point.

Lawman
02-27-07, 3:03 am
Good on ya brother...go and kick some iron ass.

When you get tired...remember that the weight is laughing at you.

THE IRON IS EVIL AND IT MUST BE PUNISHED!!!

MassManiac
02-27-07, 3:19 am
Lookin' outside with all this fuckin' snow I realized the downs in life are a lot like havin your car stuck in the snow... At first you're just spinnin your wheels, goin absolutely no where. The more gas you give it the worse off you are. A lot of times you can't get out alone, you need a buddy to help push you out of the ditch you're in. However, by taking it slow, letting the wheels get traction and with a little push from your bro, you're on your way again in no time...

So whenever you guys feel like you aren't makin progress, slow down, reevaluate, look for help (right here is where it's at--whether it be articles or fellow Animals on the forum), and work your way out. Life is too short to piss away time. Make the best of it what you can.

gnoll5
02-27-07, 12:08 pm
Lookin' outside with all this fuckin' snow I realized the downs in life are a lot like havin your car stuck in the snow... At first you're just spinnin your wheels, goin absolutely no where. The more gas you give it the worse off you are. A lot of times you can't get out alone, you need a buddy to help push you out of the ditch you're in. However, by taking it slow, letting the wheels get traction and with a little push from your bro, you're on your way again in no time...

So whenever you guys feel like you aren't makin progress, slow down, reevaluate, look for help (right here is where it's at--whether it be articles or fellow Animals on the forum), and work your way out. Life is too short to piss away time. Make the best of it what you can.

nice analogy massmaniac...very fitting.

gnoll5
02-28-07, 3:29 pm
Nothing in this world can compare to the feeling we get after we have demolished every fibre in our bodies. it leaves you speechless, drained, shaking, sometimes bloody and always sore. a good pain though, not the sharp 'just back from the dentist' pain, the type of pain you can only inflict upon yourself by pushing the iron. day after day i find myself kickin' back on one of my benches, surveying the carnage that litters my floor; dumbells, barbells, and various weights scattered about. gotta pick'em up, but not yet.
its that time that very little is going through my head. nothing work related, nothing on a personal level, certainly nothing to do with tomorrow or next week. its completely focused on the now. what i just accomplished in the weight room at that very moment. very little else in life, hell, nothing else i can think of, except maybe a romp in the sack with my lady, can completely consume my mind and body like the feeling you get right after a good workout. its like a mind cleansing each and every time you finish up for the day. it keeps the drive in life going, it gives your head a break from the everyday action, it keeps you fuckin' sane long enough to regather your wits and meet the rest of the day head on. i couldn't imagine a life without this self healing in it. its not a wonder so many people fold under the pressure and stress of everyday life. they haven't found the iron cure.
so as i sit here, drained and sore, i remind myself how lucky i am to be among the living, and know that no matter what, the iron will be here for me everyday i need it. and in this life, when its all said and done, thats a rare and treasured thing.

Fear
02-28-07, 4:00 pm
Dude I'm from the area. Hanover to be exact. I'm thinkin your from up around Wasaga if theres beaches everywhere. It's nice to know I'm not the only one from this area.

gnoll5
02-28-07, 5:09 pm
Dude I'm from the area. Hanover to be exact. I'm thinkin your from up around Wasaga if theres beaches everywhere. It's nice to know I'm not the only one from this area.

close...Owen Sound.

Lawman
02-28-07, 6:30 pm
Remember: The iron is laughing at you.

Now go kick it in the fucking balls...

Grantski
02-28-07, 6:35 pm
haha im not to far away from u guys as well...good post to brother

gnoll5
03-01-07, 4:22 pm
some days i enter my domain in the basement and sit down and listen. nothing. a smile will come over my face by the sheer power and beauty of it. silence. someone once said or wrote "silence is golden". how true it is. there is nothing so perfect as nothing. confused? i'll explain.
all day long we are under a steady barrage of unpleasant sounds. the boss, the wife, the kids, the traffic...you name it, its there at a million fuckin' decibels screaming into our heads like radio white noise. its not a wonder we don't go home everyday with blood pouring out of our ears and pounding headaches. the shit is relentless. surely insanity is soon to descend upon us, isn't it? the world is moving at a million miles per hour, and you can let me the fuck off. thats what entering my training room is; stepping off the train, so to speak. leaving the world at the door and stepping into...tranquillity. another world that is occupied only by me. population: 1. everything else evaporates from my head as i look around and prepare myself for the battle to come. soon the sounds encompassing my world will consist of clanging iron, maybe some hard driving music to set the tone. maybe. or maybe it will only be me against the iron today. yes, it will begin shortly, it is destiny. but in a few minutes. not now. i'm still enjoying the silence. because silence is golden.

gnoll5
03-05-07, 5:10 pm
6:30 Am, buzzer is going off splintering the silence in my home like a cannon blast. unwanted and piercing it beckons me into the world. still dark out, wind slams at the windows as another snowsquall blasts through my town. cold as hell too, makes stepping out of the sheets and into the day all the more pleasant. quietly as possible i slip out of bed and into my work clothes. everyone else in the house is still asleep; don't want to wake them.
downstairs its time to feed the machine. its been 8 hours and the gears are runnin' dry. take the protein shake premade out of the fridge and mix it up. not the freshest, but still vital. oatmeal in the microwave, coupla pieces of whole wheat toast and jam, i'm good to go. fuck, almost forgot my multi, glutamine and vit c.
time to pack up a days worth of grub. another day of sandwiches and snacks, gets fuckin' monotonous, but whats a man to do? three sandwiches, two protein bars, diet soda, various fruit and im good until this afternoon, home time. starting to get light out, unveiling the day. snow batters the window as a strong northeast wind kicks up in gusts, shuttling freshly fallen snow around on an endless quest. cold as hell with the windchill too. nice.
throw on the work gear; thick wool socks, insulated workboots, tough duck parka and skully does the trick. warehouse will be cold today. nice.
out the door and into the howling wind. fresh air assaults my lungs as i navigate through the newly formed snowdrifts separating me from my car. fuckin' car is frozen again. nice.
20 minutes later and i arrive at the warehouse. roads are slippery but traffic is still light this time of day. 8 hours later and i am free, ready to do some damage in the weight room at my home. moving appliances and running a trucking company has its moments, but nothing worth writing about. warehouse is an unheated cavern, nothing but a small fm radio to keep me from total solitude. once the trucks are loaded, i am on my own most of the day, until new shipments arrive.
4:30 pm and i arrive back home, out of the bleak day that is starting to dim in preparation of the night to come. snow continues to fall, wind gusts still making life just a little more interesting. in the door, noone home yet. the next hour is mine, and i start to get butterflies in anticipation of the battle to come with the iron bully. pull off my wet and cold work clothes and pull on the training gear. haven't washed it in a couple days; even the dogs are lookin' at me funny....nice.
an hour later, i emerge from the depths of my basement, bruised, battered and bloody, but inwardly smiling from ear to ear. threw up some good numbers today, the bully has been put to rest...for now. definitely time to feed the beast, my muscles are screaming at me to feed them, begging for the materials to grow. night has fallen, the snow continues to blast outside, but i hardly notice. the rest of the night is mine, nothin' but rest and relaxation....and feeding. 10:00 pm, and its time to let the body grow. tomorrow is another day, another battle is to be fought, another day to claw through.

gnoll5
03-06-07, 12:47 pm
the bodybuilders' life is full of dedication and discipline. two factors that are a must for anyone serious about our sport. probably the two hardest things to keep at as well, at least in the beginning phases of our journeys. but once it has been incorporated into our daily lives, it becomes more than a routine; it becomes life. these are also values that we must take with us out of the gym doors and into the world as well.
for too many years i was the 'other guy'. i was the one that was lazy and out of shape. if i did do anything about it, it was for purely selfish reasons. i didn't give a shit about me, just what others thought of me. pure vanity. looking back, i don't think i was a very good person at all really. what kind of a role model was i to my kids? to anyone in my circle of life? not much. if i didn't have the desire and dedication to do anything constructive, why would anyone else involved with me?
i am saddened now by the years of lost life. years i should have been bettering myself and those around me. if i could have those 20 years back, man the changes i would make. but at least i woke up and realised things before it was too late. at least i came to the realisation that there was a better way of life, that there wasn't anything i couldn't do if i put myself into it 100%. and i can really only thank one thing: the iron.
the two key things that the iron has given me have nothing to do with size or strength...at least physically speaking anyways. sure i have grown and gotten stronger physically, but so much more importantly mentally. the discipline and dedication that i have instilled into my life have made me a better man, and have given me the opportunity to instill these values into others. leave no job unfinished, no rock unturned. life passes us by at blinding speed, and i damn well will make it worth the time spent here, for me, for my family.

gnoll5
03-08-07, 2:56 pm
More often than not, i find myself people watching. sometimes at the mall, waiting for the wife to finish shopping, the coffee shop, a public park, even at work, watching the people come and go from their shifts. i sit and ponder at what kind of life they must lead...and shudder. see, i guess i don't have the greatest faith in the human race, because when i look at people, i see the worst. or at least what i project to be the worst. and i suppose thats not a proper or healthy way to view life, but at least from initial or first impressions, i am not impressed.
you see all too many people, from all different races, classes, religions, whatever, and i would say 80% of them are not in any kind of shape at all. i see people with stomachs drooping over their belts. i see people with poor clothing, unwashed clothing, unkept skin and teeth. i see people with cigarettes hanging out of their mouths, staining their whiskers and skin yellow. i see people straining to walk up a small flight of stairs, grunting to step out of their oversized vehicles. i see people with the stress of life eating away at their souls, permanent angry lines etched into their faces, as young children tug at their arms, spouses silent in a stone cold embrace.
i also see people that look fairly 'normal', and i wonder to myself what kind of a life could they lead? i see the truck driver, on the road fifteen hours a day and a vocabulary of 15 words, half of them profainities. everyday he goes home to his average house, with the average wife and average kids and eats his meatloaf or spaghetti or whatever else is normally scheduled for that day, sits down on his 20 year old sofa and falls asleep in front of the tv.
i see the business person coming home to their overpriced home (but its not the smallest on the block, thank god) in their oversized SUV (only 4 more years on the lease) to their well manicured and pressed spouses, kids wearing the latest fashions and playing the latest video games, in suburbian hell. they too have dinner, whatever is delivered the fastest tonight, and sit down in front of their 80 inch plasma tv (its not the smallest on the block, thank god) and fall asleep.
and i wonder.
i wonder how people can find any joy in their lives, knowing they are living on borrowed time and coasting through life with nothing more to look forward to than the next day, the next payment. i wonder how people can last so long without doing something with their lives to make themselves a better person.
i know i am not the perfect speciman of a human being. but i can try. and i can try to make all those around me that way too. and i think it all stems from one passion, one desire that most people couldn't dare to imagine, or would quickly hide in the recesses of their souls if they could.
the passion of the iron.
i watched myself evolving into the 'other guy' for many years. i found the iron, and am evolving myself. each and every day i become that much more confident and sure of who i am, and what i want in life. and i have at least figured out what i don't want to be.
the other guy.

gnoll5
03-12-07, 5:21 pm
due to a divorce a few years ago, i don't get to see my daughter much. she was one when the split happened, she is now four. she lives about three hours away from me, but i dutifully do the drive (the ex has no license) every third weekend or so. because of the winter being so nasty, it had been about twoi months since i had seen her last, before this weekend. anyways...
i was sitting down on the couch yesterday, just watching her play. i was worn out from several hours of hardcore tea parties and doll grooming, not to mention the early morning leg session. it struck me, just watching her in her own little world, how fresh and innocent she was. looking at things and experiencing things through eyes not even five years in the making. it was beautiful. to be given the chance to look through the eyes of a child would be a revelation. it occurs to me now how muddied and skeptical my own vision has become from years of experience. and it angers me. what could possibly have gone so wrong to make me so hardened on my outlook in life? i'm sure it happens to everyone, and most of us don't even realise it.
thinking about it all night, i tossed and turned for several hours, while in the adjacent room i could here my bundle of energy breathing the deep sleep of a child. and it dawned on me. perhaps it was time to wipe away some of the dirt and grime from my own perspective on life. maybe i was given that moment of purity to show me the good in life and in people. maybe life truly is what you make it. i fell asleep.
thinking about it today, i think its time for a change. its time to look for the good in people, to weigh myself in what i can do not only for myself, but for others as well. i won't be fooled, and i am too old to be naive, but life deserves to be given as many chances as it needs to fulfill my journey.
i will never forget watching my baby playing that day. something so simple but yet so perfect has shown me the beauty in innocence.

gnoll5
03-15-07, 12:54 pm
My boss is a large man, probably 6'3" and i would say somewhere around 275 lbs. He found out the other day that his best friend, another huge man, 6'8" and well over 300lbs has cancer. He is devastated.
I was talking with him the other day about lifting, he knows how serious i am about it, and he always has some advice for me since he and his friend used to lift a lot. i can tell by listening to him how proud he was to lift the iron, but what a toll it has taken on him over the years. He is 59 now, his friend over 60. I can well imagine that they did some pretty serious weights back then, looking at them now and seeing the strength and size that they still have is impressive. he always is warning me to take it easy as i will pay fo it sometime down the road. i just kind of laugh and tell him sure, sure i will.
i have spent many a day in our small office listening to his tales of strength; many inflated i am sure, but almost believable too; you just never can tell with him. as a millright at a paper/pulp mill, a truck driver and various other pursuits, this guy was a hardworking guy. he takes it easy now, as knee and elbow surgery looming are restricting what he can do. he still tries to lift things, and does, but pays for it later.
i find it sad that a body inevitably goes south on us one day, no matter what we do to strengthen it and preserve it. i am not afraid of death, but i am afraid of losing control over myself; let me go quickly while i still have my strength, the way of the warrior i suppose. watching these two giant men struggle constantly to do half of what they used to is a maddening thing to watch. it will be me someday watching myself deteriorate and losing control of my own world; thats not cool. and now one has cancer, and will soon watch the masses of muscle and tissue, and fat now of course, go to waste as a foreign entity invades and ravages his body. fuck that, i am not going out that way. we may be living on borrowed time, but i will damn well make sure that my dues are paid in full when its time to cash out.

Praetor
03-16-07, 1:56 am
hell yea brother, break those sons o'bitches, somethings never learn

FFmaple16
03-16-07, 3:26 pm
someday that bully is going to run out of backups as well...then he cant talk shit.

gnoll5
03-19-07, 5:41 pm
"...i would rather feel pain than nothing at all"


pain is an emotion. pain is a sensation. pain is a constant in our lives; it lets us know that we are alive. it is an important measuring stick on our journeys through life, and one of lifes greatest lessons.
we have all experienced pain in both forms at one time or other in our lives. it is something that we all encounter, and will continue to encounter as we grow older. but instead of letting it beat us down and cripple us, it needs to be experienced and dealt with as a lesson in life. so many people deal with emotional pain as a mind numbing blow to our mental well being. i don't. some would call me shallow, unfeeling. its not true, i feel pain as much as the next person, i just refuse to dwell on it and let it beat me down. whats done is done, tomorrow is a new day, life will go on. if it needs to be dealt with, if retribution is warranted, so be it. i will not enter the battle with wounds already opened, i will charge with a fresh mind and conquer what needs to be dealt with swiftly and completely.
physical pain is something any lifter will deal with on a daily basis, again moreso as we grow older. i can almost pin down to the day and hour and placement in my body that i will experience new pain. ya, i said experience the pain, 'cause that is exactly what it is, experience. i have always had a high tolerance for pain, i have taught myself to shut it out and deal with it. its only a sensation, the brain telling you something ain't right and you need to fix it. again so many people whine and moan until something or someone comes to their aid. not me. pain is weakness, and i have no time in my life for weakness.
once again i can thank the iron for teaching me and aiding me in dealing with pain. i will not listen to the inner demons telling me i am not good enough or strong enough to lift; i have no time or energy to spend battling my head and reassuring myself. i just know that i am good enogh, and if i'm not on this particular day, i soon will be. i will not dwell on the things that are a given. i know i can't bench 300 or deadlift 500. yet. but someday i will. and every ounce of mental pain that tries to flood my head will be rerouted into the proper emotions; try, conquer, succeed. physical pain is also a given, but one that lets me know that i am alive. it tells me that i am getting stronger, it teaches me that i did something that my body maybe wasn't ready to do. yet. i will store all of these lessons and make a giant memory book, a manual if you will outlining the path to success. because i would rather feel pain than nothing at all.

gnoll5
03-27-07, 2:08 pm
like all things in life, if its worth fighting for, its worth dying for. i read this once, not sure where or when, but its a mantra that has stuck with me throughout my life. its about as hardcore as it can get. how many among us could truly follow this in their journeys? most of us will fight for what we believe in, some of us will fight for the daily injustices in the world, but how many of us are truly willing to die for it? to sacrifice your own life for the greater good of....of what? its a fine line, and everybody has a different threshold in which to cross. would i go to war? hard to say, it would depend on why i was going. would i die for my family? absolutely, without a moments hesitation. family is all in my life, my rock, my pillar of strength in which i draw from each and every day. without it, i am nothing.
i have some...shit, i guess they would be called acquantances, i don't hang out with them, i don't call them up or go out with them, but i know them. they are bachelors, and claim they have all they need in their lives. most of them still live the party lifestyle, even though they are now in their 30's and 40's. oddly they seem to have severed ties to their parents, have no children of their own (that they know of) and no steady partner in life. i couldn't imagine living a life like this, devoid of building a future, of having no legacy in which to part this earth other than 'drank a kegger in one night and lived to tell about it'. in my eyes, they are pathetic. but i say nothing, smile at their stories, and reserve judgement; its not my business. but i do wonder, what do they have to fight for? if you have nothing to live for other than the next drunk or next lay, what do you have to die for? more importantly, who's in their corner when the chips are down and its time to come out swinging?

gnoll5
03-28-07, 3:40 pm
awake...i enter the room and a shroud of mindless rantings lifts from my head, the days' anchors unshackle themselves from my feet. my head clears, my body tenses, shedding years off my posture, bent by lifes pressures. my skin tingles, goosebumps penetrate my skin as wafts of adrenaline start poking it with invisible needles. the hairs on the back of my neck stand at attention in anticipation of whats to come. blood pumps through my veins, i can feel the muscles contracting under my skin. at no other time am i so alive as when i enter the weight room. at no other time am i so physically and mentally....awake.

gnoll5
03-29-07, 3:12 pm
the life i lead is sometimes not one that gets any sort of recognition. beyond the occasional look from quickly diverted eyes, nobody knows who i am, or what it is that makes me....me. nobody sees the pain i go through almost daily, from sore muscles punished over and over, pulled muscles from training just a little too hard, the bruises on my body, the skin scraped off my shins to the bloat in my stomach from cramming one more meal into my body, noone knows the sacrifices i make on a daily basis. sometimes i feel all alone in the world, connected only through magazines and forvms to people as sadistic as i. i hear them whine that they are tired from working at their desks all day, how beat down they are from dealing with their families and how sore they are from shovelling their driveways or raking the leaves. i feel like screaming at them, grabbing them by their scrawny necks and pulling them into the pits of hell i call my weight room. i feel like making them do to themselves what i do for fun. i feel like yelling at them to suck it up, that their heavy loads are what i consider rest time. its sometimes lonely in the trenches, but i know that its where i need to be. some like it easy, floating on the breeze on cushions of clouds, but i will stay in the pits of hell, throwing iron to stoke the fires that burn below. some may see a beast, a sadistic bastard bent on destruction. i see progress, and a ying to their yang. would they listen to my story? would they understand the journey i have embarkked upon? would they care?
i don't give a shit.
i'll see them in hell, with all of my brothers in iron.

gnoll5
03-30-07, 5:41 pm
as our boy G Diesel so rightly alluded to, i look back at the snot nosed 8 year old that i was, and wonder if i am where i dreamed i should be. if i imagined myself looking at my reflection in a cloudy puddle of water, would i see the man i am today? an overgrown man staring back at me isn't what i would have thought that i would become, lines etched into his face, experience clouding his vision. a movie star? a rock god? a millionaire with honeys on each side? a sports icon? ya, probably all that and so much more. but what that snot nosed 8 year old didn't see was reality. the cold hard fuckin' world that warps and bends us into the men we are today. and why would he want to see that? it ain't pretty, it ain't glamourous, and it sure as shit ain't a dream life. not for most of us anyways. not even the most twisted mind of a boy could conjure up the nightmares that in short years will infest themselves into his head. a few of us will live the dream, the rest of us are condemned to hell. but life is what we make of it, we get one shot at it, no retries. every man puts their pants on one leg at a time, and regardless of race, religion, sex or political stance, we are equal. the snot nosed 8 year old gets it, why don't we?

k1usa
03-30-07, 5:52 pm
deep in my basement...is my beast...its the younger me crying out..its the other side of my life screaming for attention...wanting to be fed...wanting to be challenged...and wanting to be told...it will be ok...dont worry. When the beast cries out....I enter the gym...I tell the beast...hang on...Im comming...when it screams for attention....Im grabbing the iron...getting the game face and I tell the beast...hold on...its time to play....when the beast is hungry I feed it pain....anger and rage for desert...when it wants to be challenged....I give it punishment...I look into the eyes of this beast and say...fucker...you are mine...I own you...you are my soul...and I will crush you with pain....melt your fears and feed your anger....its me...Im here....you dont have to go looking for me...because you are home...and its time to play

gnoll5
04-05-07, 5:14 pm
so many times i am overcome with anger. pure out hatred, a red haze swallowing me whole. different situations call out the demon lurking inside me, waiting to pounce with fire blazing and fangs bared, more than willing to settle the score once and for all. he will take no names and take no prisoners; his wrath upon the world will be complete. he lives in the dark recesses in my soul, a foul beast lurking and pacing, steam billowing from his nose, claws ready to tear apart flesh. he is my demon, my tortured soul calling out for help. i can control him though, his huge mishapen body wrapped in the chains that are the fibres of my being. i don't want him let out, he will wreak havoc and i can't afford him to do so. not yet. his place is beside me in the weight room, his vengeance scorned by the iron plates staring back at me. with him at my call, we will destroy all, and leave none. he is my demon, he is my power, he is me.

gnoll5
04-09-07, 12:18 pm
i am Animal. i know this by the cage that surrounds me. i know this by the struggles i endure and overcome each and every day. born wild, bred in captivity. the life i lead is the one i chose. or did i? is it by choice i wake up each day and punch that clock to make my daily bread? even though every fibre of my being screams for something more, i know what i have to do to survive. like an animal in the wild, i gotta fucking survive. another day, another shift. hour after hour, day after day, i punch that clock, cold or hot, rain, sleet or snow, i pay my dues. i do what i have to to provide for those that depend on me most, my family. there are those fortunate few that live life with a silver spoon in their mouths, living the life of luxury. good for them, i will not be bitter. i am the fabric that this world is made of. i am the soldier in the trenches. i am the wild beast foraging and killing, providing meat for the young, to grow strong and carry on my honour. i am the foundation of life. i live life on my terms, i pay respect to those that earn it, i destroy those that break it. i am calm, i am ferocious, i am shaped by my natural surroundings. i am strong in my will, i will not be deterred, i cannot be bought, i will not sell myself short. i am all of these things and more, because i am Animal.

gnoll5
04-13-07, 5:45 pm
we all want a taste. its what keeps us coming back for more, day in and day out. we all want to feel the muscles in our bodies screaming in pain, to feel the ebb and flow of blood through our veins as they grow bigger, stronger, better. its a passion inside of us all that is as primitive as the need to eat. without it we are mere mortals, lowly humans in search of our paths, no better than the next guy. its what makes us stand out in a crowd, keeps us level headed in the plights surrounding us. it makes us who we are, its an identity stamped upon us like a birth mark. it flows through us in raging streams, thick as blood, swift as air. it is an indellible truth to our consciousness, it surrounds us with an invisible aura, sensed only by other animals. its the hunger. the hunger to be more, to strive for more, to ask for more. its the hunger to achieve what precious few would only dare dream about. i'm hungery, and life is a buffett.

gnoll5
04-19-07, 2:50 pm
although i already posted my excitement in the regular part of the Livin' forvm, i thought i might dlve a little deeper here. why? with sincere hopes that just one newbie to the sport may happen upon this and read and take motivation away with them. kind of a payback for all that i have taken from the pros and joes alike on this great forvm. i'm never too sure who is reading the Bully saga, as i like to refer to it, as it probably doesn't make a lot of sense to most, but may strike a chord in some.
i remember very clearly the first day i sat down on my new bench, and surveyed the weights in front of me. unlike some that may have felt daunted by the task at hand, i was naively thinking the opposite: how hard could it be? a few months and i'll be built like Arnold, like the freaks in the magazines, didn't know their names at that point of course. so i started heaving around plate after plate, no rep scheme needed, no routine to follow, and legs? well, i'm just not too worried about those...hell who will ever need big legs anyways, right? fortunately, i am a seeker of knowledge, and as the iron bug burrowed itself deeper into my soul, i read. and read. then i read some more. i learned quickly that what i was doing was wasting my time, and a plan flourished.
i never considered myself as weak. until now. but then i figured i was average, and genetically dispositioned to be skinny. no point in eating more, or, i could just eat whatever i want and a calorie is a calorie....right? hmmmm....something just wasn't working; i was putting more weight on, but not in the spots where i needed it, namely the muscles....time to read some more, evidently. and read i did...and read...and learned.
i am no expert by any stretch, and i would never presume myself to be anything other than a guy who has been through a lot of trial and error, with a lot more to come. but if i can share with just one newbie maybe reading this post, it would be this:
Learn. Read. Learn some more. Read some more. because knowledge is power, and without it you don't have a hope in hell of achieving what we are all trying so hard for day in and day out. you can make this sport of ours into rocket science if you want, you can beat yourself silly every day trying to count this, try this, supplement that, but it all boils down to this: keep it simple, lift big, eat big, rest big, trust only the tried tested and true supps and remember that they are a supplement, meaning to supplement your life, not become it.
1 year has passed in my life, and i have become a lot bigger, a lot stronger and a lot wiser. i look forward to my second term in the school of iron, and will continue my studies for the rest of my life.

** big thanks to a few peeps that helped make the first year as successful as it was: G Diesel, for a lot of inspiration in his writings and a lot of knowledge on BB.com and now here. Machine for telling it like it is and more motivation than ever. Wrath for sharing his journey, it hits home to a lot of us. and finally all the pros and posters here on the forvm; you guys and gals are the most knowledgable, down to earth, straight up motherf*ckers around!!!

gnoll5
04-23-07, 5:30 pm
trapped inside my head are the ramblings of a lifter. i can't call myself a bodybuilder; being shredded isn't my goal. big and strong? yup. anyways, the conversations inside of me are constant. reminders to take this supp, to eat now, better drink that water, time for another supp...etc. i'm sure you all know what i am talking about, such is the life for us. but deeper in, a war is raging. a duel of voices buried deep inside my head; one is mine, one belongs to the bully. full of negatives this bastard is, constantly belittling my efforts, always sure to point out my shortcomings. he blankets my proceedings in a shroud of doubt. no way your gonna lift that, man, he says. might as well eat what you want you fat bastard...gonna get hurt if you even look at that weight...probably better to have a nap instead of train, won't make any difference anyways...and on and on and on. what do i do? i silence the fucker. i tell him he's a lazy sack of shit and shut out his tauntings on a daily basis. the iron bully does no good, he is a naysayer, a doubter, and i have no time in my life for him. over time his yelling has been somewhat dimmer, as time progresses the proof is there that whatever he has to say is crap. someday i won't hear him anymore. someday i will silence the angry disbelieving voice in my head and leave him at the curb, because this journey doesn't have room for the both of us.

gnoll5
04-30-07, 5:59 pm
like a dog i have a spot that is mine. its not a hyrant or pole, its not a shrub or a curb. it ain't that pretty. its a hole in the world, a dark and somber place, not overly warm, not completely cold. it is void of niceties, its as bare bones as can be. its not well lit, a single bulb tries its best to light the way. its mystique is its silence, its charm is its simplicity. it is filled with nothing but benches and plates, iron strewn from wall to wall. look closely and you can see the carnage of many a war fought upon this sacred place. the stains are a plenty, the air is thick with the stench of battle. like a dog i have marked my territory, my blood and my sweat testimony to the fact that this place is mine.

Preston
04-30-07, 11:07 pm
Yeah man, that dank whole in the ground with nothing but iron all around you is what we call home, bro. You've got an amazing mindset, and I'd be honored to lift with you and hopefully leave gaining some of the knowledge you have up there in that head of yours. I just hope that someday I'll have the same incredible mental strength you possess.

-Preston[ANIMAL]

gnoll5
05-01-07, 12:12 pm
Yeah man, that dank whole in the ground with nothing but iron all around you is what we call home, bro. You've got an amazing mindset, and I'd be honored to lift with you and hopefully leave gaining some of the knowledge you have up there in that head of yours. I just hope that someday I'll have the same incredible mental strength you possess.

-Preston[ANIMAL]

thanks for the props bro, it means a lot to reach out to someone.

gnoll5
05-05-07, 11:07 am
teamwork...what does that mean anyways? in my life, i am a team of one. its me against the iron, all sacrifices and toil done on my terms and my time. i don't pat anyone else on the back, i don't answer to anyone, and i don't thank anyone else for making a great lift. i answer to one person, the guy looking back at me in the mirror. my reflection is my coach, my mentor, my stark reality in this world. i don't settle for second best, or an 'almost did'. it just ain't good enough, and probably never will be. i put my heart and soul into this life, i leave it all in the dust when i leave. teamwork? meaningless in this game, its all about the power of one. does this make me a loner? a misfit? a sick twisted individual with an introverted sense of life? no. it makes me better. it makes me dependent on noone. it keeps me real, it makes me strong. don't stand in my way, i am a force of one, unstoppable and hungry.

Giant Killer
05-05-07, 11:40 am
don't stand in my way, i am a force of one, unstoppable and hungry.

Teamwork will make a great team, but only that "selfish ambition" will make one man fulfill his potential. If you count on someone else, it's easy to be let down. Fortunately, we count on only ourselves, and we're brute force ball busters. So we let ourselves down, well, suffice to say we're harder on ourselves than anyone else.

gnoll5
05-15-07, 3:02 pm
i have been barraged by comments lately. good comments, remarking on my size. 'shit man, you're big' and 'wow, you must be working out'. i guess i don't really mind it, its nice all the hard work is noticed, but...i can't help but feel embarrased too.
after a long winter of bulking and training i guess my body is getting bigger. but i wouldn't call myself big by any stretch of the imagination. now that t-shirt weather is upon us people are looking at me like i am some sort of freak. i don't get it. i am 6 feet tall, 220 lbs. big deal. to me big is the pros in this game. now those guys are big. maybe i am bigger than the norm, but i don't see it that way. i am nowhere near big, in my eyes. every day the reflection in the mirror shows me the same skinny ass, weakling guy that started this journey. i am not satisfied, i am not happy. i know that i have many more years of toil ahead of me; perhaps then i may be more satisfied, probably not. there is always room to grow, to improve. i wonder what they will say when i am 240-250 lbs? interesting.
i guess it all comes down to perception. i do not perceive myself as big, my standards are apparently set much higher than the normal persons. i feel embarrased by the comments because in my mind i don't deserve the tag 'big'. to others i suppose i am big, but they are not the ones i need to prove it to. i need to prove it to myself, a critic with the harshest eye and a never ending thirst for perfection.

gnoll5
05-18-07, 4:45 pm
vague memories cloud my head, memories of the beginning. i can reach back as early as age 3 or 4, just cloudy renditions of my life. the journey i have taken, the footsteps i have made echo inside my head, bits and pieces create a mental scrapbook. it amazes me how mortal and fragile we are as a species. what exactly are we doing here anyways? what fucking sense does it make? was it my destiny and calling to be doing what i am now? perhaps there is a larger purpose for keeping me around. maybe this is as good as it gets. i don't know. for many of my fragmented memories, it sems like a picture show stuck on pause, lurching ahead then falling back to a scene previously lived. the proverbial 'spinning your tires, getting nowhere' scenario. such a waste of time.
i don't know what my life is supposed to mean. any other human could and has done what i have done so far. many others can claim this too. but there is one thing, just one, that is uniquely mine; my body. with each passing day of punishment in the weight room, i forge a new chapter, creating a masterpiece that noone else could replicate. this is my life, and nobody or nothing can lay claim to it. i know i have to continue creating, until the day comes i can create no more, and leave whatever work is in progress to wilt and crumble, the final chapter written.

gnoll5
05-24-07, 5:25 pm
some days i feel like i am going to go fucking crazy. why? repetition. i fucking hate it. i hate the fact that any facet in my life is a re-run, been there done that. its probably the only thing i dislike about this sport of ours. hell, the whole concept of lifting is based around...yup, repetitions. damn...
i don't know if what i do to combat this is 'acceptable' lifting; from what i have read and learned i don't think there is any one method, so i am probably good to go. i shake things up. every day, every week. don't get me wrong, each body part gets beaten to a pulp every week, but i am alway changing the excercises, the rep schemes, the order in which i train. its about the only way i will stay sane, and so far so good. if any of you are like me, and the thought of doing the same shit day in, day out weighs on you heavier than the iron, shake that shit up. don't be afraid to do things different than the daily recommendations. there are a ton of different ways to annihalate a muscle; find them, and keep your sanity.

ncsu06
05-25-07, 1:46 pm
some days i feel like i am going to go fucking crazy. why? repetition. i fucking hate it. i hate the fact that any facet in my life is a re-run, been there done that. its probably the only thing i dislike about this sport of ours. hell, the whole concept of lifting is based around...yup, repetitions. damn...
i don't know if what i do to combat this is 'acceptable' lifting; from what i have read and learned i don't think there is any one method, so i am probably good to go. i shake things up. every day, every week. don't get me wrong, each body part gets beaten to a pulp every week, but i am alway changing the excercises, the rep schemes, the order in which i train. its about the only way i will stay sane, and so far so good. if any of you are like me, and the thought of doing the same shit day in, day out weighs on you heavier than the iron, shake that shit up. don't be afraid to do things different than the daily recommendations. there are a ton of different ways to annihalate a muscle; find them, and keep your sanity.

i second that notion my brother....everyday i sit and tear my hair out b/c of repetition..not only in the gym but in life...hell i am a senoir in college and i have no idea what i want to do b/c i don't want to do the same damn thing for the rest of my life...repitition is just a pain in my ass and it bores the living shit out of me....good writing brother

gnoll5
05-25-07, 1:49 pm
i second that notion my brother....everyday i sit and tear my hair out b/c of repetition..not only in the gym but in life...hell i am a senoir in college and i have no idea what i want to do b/c i don't want to do the same damn thing for the rest of my life...repitition is just a pain in my ass and it bores the living shit out of me....good writing brother

ya man, it is definitely something you gotta deal with; no job is without some degree of repetition, but i guess if you like what you're doing it helps. worst fucking job i ever had was in a factory building shocks; same thing, didn't even move from the spot i stood in for 9 hours a day, up to my ass in the oil the shocks are filled with; didn't last long there. thanks for reading...

gnoll5
05-28-07, 5:51 pm
some observations about getting bigger:
movie theatre seats are too small
clothes don't fit well; too tight up top, get bigger sizes and they look like a dress or ridiculous cuffs at the bottom
sporting events are a treat; nothin' like rubbing shoulders with the two people on each side of you
crowded places guarantee running into someone; hopefully friendly someones
small cars suck; the seats are built for 'normal' dimensions
suddenly you are oversized in any apartment; people hide breakables in your presence
got a favourite shirt? good luck on making it fit...new warddrobe a must

i can't complain about getting big, hell i have a long way to go. but it sure seems like some major adjustments are in store from here on in. nothing like trying to fit in to a medium sized world.

gnoll5
06-02-07, 10:53 am
its funny how things that were deemed shit in our lives at an early age become the very foundations of our being now. i grew up in a rural setting, my folks not well off by any stretch. my father, brother and i would rise with the sun to go and cut firewood for a living; many hot, humid days, many cold frosty ones too; it didn't matter, the bread needed to be put on the table, rain or shine. i hated that life then. back breaking work, little rewards, it all seemed worthless. what was the fucking point? why the fuck didn't my old man have a real job, you know, 9 - 5 in an air conditioned cubicle? the house we lived in wasn't anything great, mainly heated by wood eminating from a large cast iron stove. fuck some mornings in the deep of winter you could wake up and piss through ice formed in the toilet.
i look back on that life now and smile. i smile because i get it. that forest, that beautiful, serene setting, was my pops' office. and what a perfect one it was. the sights and sounds of the woods are a beautiful thing, lunch breaks taken by a bubbling creek, natures lessons at our fingertips. but most important it taught me what it takes to be my own man, to do what it takes, the drive and dedication it demands from you to succeed, at any cost. it instilled values into me hard and deep, unbeknowst to me at the time, it was laying the foundation for the man i was to become. like an animal i grew up in the forest, i took natures lessons and sharpened my claws. that animal still lives in me, unleashed each day upon the iron in front of me.

Hollow
06-02-07, 11:33 am
I think there are quite a few people out there that can look back on their "early years" and smile. At the time it probably did seem thankless or even pointless. One thing it does that we don't realize at such a young age is it is molding us into what we will become. These values are earned and cannot be bought. Just my 2 cents.

gnoll5
06-13-07, 5:08 pm
its funny to watch your own life unravel. maybe not funny, but it sure makes you scratch your head sometimes and wonder what the fuck you were thinking. whats that saying? hindsight is 20/20? that shit is so true. i look at the different choices and paths i have elected to follow throughout my life so far and just shake my head; so much time wasted. i ponder at the notion that we all feel this way; that every person living their lives will look back upon their own lives and wonder what the fuck. is it our destiny to walk this earth and screw up? or are our blunders and awkward steps through time all part of the plan? and what plan could it be? do we, the fortunate ones that will die of a natural old age, ever reach the point of perfection? can we ever be content on our lives, look at the paths taken, garner every decision and say to ourselves 'yup, everything is as it should be'? i think not.
we all will bear the responsibility of making our lives as close to perfection as possible, to explore all paths in front of us, to experience all we can before its lights out. i look back and see a lot of paths that i don't and never will know what was down them; such is life. but luckily i realise now at an early enough age that i have some exploring to do. never walk a straight path, branch out and see what is down every avenue, cause when you do reach your final destination, there is no more walking to do.

gnoll5
06-22-07, 3:52 pm
i get accused a lot of being one sick motherfucker. some of the shit that flies outta my mouth seems to shock people, and judging by the nervous laughs it garners, i don't think they quite understand that i'm not trying to be funny; it is what it is. i don't mince words, i don't spew forth roses and perfume, i say whats on my mind. don't like it? then don't engage me in conversation or ask me a question, cause you may not like the answer. i've been called sick, ignorant, abbrasive....fuck man you name it, and i just shrug it off; i don't give a shit. maybe i am shocking because i'm not some illiterate smuck that couldn't string together enough words to properly convey my feelings. maybe i come off abbrasive because i refuse to powder coat things. i don't know. but just once in my life i would like someone to talk to me like i would to them; straight up, no bullshit flat out truth, like it or lump it. and its not always bad; if someone deserves praise or respect i am the first to give it. but if the subject at hand is risky or delicate, don't even bother me, cuz i ain't gonna sprinkle sunshine up your ass.

ghost
06-22-07, 4:10 pm
Society today, needs everything to be sugar coated for them to take it in and digest it....Fuck that bullshit. if they cannot handle my words, they are not going to like when i come at em with the truth.


Keep hitting em where it hurts brother.

Strength and Honor.

gnoll5
06-25-07, 1:35 pm
Society today, needs everything to be sugar coated for them to take it in and digest it....Fuck that bullshit. if they cannot handle my words, they are not going to like when i come at em with the truth.


Keep hitting em where it hurts brother.

Strength and Honor.

its a rare fuckin' thing finding a straight up no bullshit person these days...

ghost
06-26-07, 12:59 pm
we are hard to find...but we do exist. Society attempts to push us down at every turn...in michigan it is against the law to swear in front of women...fuck that. people are scared....of us.

let em fear us.

Hollow
06-26-07, 1:28 pm
Too many bleeding hearts in today's society.

ghost
06-26-07, 1:30 pm
these people wouldnt know HardCore if it slapped them in the mouth...and that is what is lost in society. people get too touchy on most subjects. and when you are realistic about things to people, "oh well i need to talk to my therapist about it"


my therapy is the iron.

gnoll5
06-26-07, 3:51 pm
i couldn't imagine needing a crutch like a therapist to help me through life. i realize there are seriously messed up peeps in the world that need them, but i wonder how many soccer moms go and talk about their 'problems'? makes me fuckin' sick. there have been so many times in my life that i have just wanted to scream " GROW SOME BIG HAIRY NUTS FOR FUCK SAKES" to people.

ncsu06
06-26-07, 10:04 pm
yo brothers i'm right there with you...just recently have a changed my ways and started to be completely and brutally honest to everyone...no sunshine, no bullshit...just like today my girlfriend called me a complete asshole b/c i called one of her "guy" friends a pussy b/c he didn't want to hang out with her when i was around....my gf was like "don't be mean he would never say anything like that about you" does it look like i give a fuck what he would say or not....i don't like the guy for reasons beyond what i can say here, but i could give two shits if i hurt his feelings and she thinks i am an asshole for saying what i feel...it still continues people can not handle honesty b/c they have been fed bullshit all their lives....you get no bullshit from me....yet again some more good shit here gnoll and that is no bullshit...good luck brothers

gnoll5
06-27-07, 12:29 pm
i am normally a pretty nice guy. i don't cause shit for the sake of causing shit, i try to find the good in people and things going on in my life in general. but there is a side, a dark and twisted side that lurks in my conscience. there is a gate made out of twisted wood and scrawled in blood it reads welcome to hell. it is this place that the dark one lives.
imagine a world, cold and sinister, a life cast in shadows, a carnival of sins, a twisted and demonic world; imagine if you will a Tim Burton movie, where things roam of all different shapes and sizes. this place is the balance of my mind, a place on the brink of insanity, yet without it, insanity would surely consume me. i like to visit this place from time to time, it is a comforting recess in my mind that reminds me of the state of humanity. it is a cold, stark reminder that not all is good in the world, that there is a dark side to the outward beauty that we all strive to see. some would find this disturbing, the images and horror inside in plain view for me to see. i think of it as a necessary evil. without being in contact with the dark one, i would become one dimensional, i would buy into the illusion that the world is A OK, that everything is hunky-fuckin'-dory. the dark one needs me, and i need him. together, with one set of eyes, we view the world as a whole, a sum of all fears, a place of beauty and grotesqueness alike.

gnoll5
07-13-07, 4:10 pm
i have never had an 'out of body' experience. maybe they are real, maybe not, but it would be cool to be able to step outside of yourself and watch sometimes. like looking at a picture of yourself, at least for me, what you see isn't anything what you project or portray yourself as. its actually very humbling, in truth.
what would you see if you could watch yourself for a day? would you like it? are you being true to yourself each and every day? is your mind painting a picture vastly different than reality? and if so, is it better? worse? does it matter? is the person that everyone else is given the person that you are trying to give? of course noone knows what evil lurks inside our heads. what thoughts command our every action. thats our world fit for noone but ourselves. the real trick, is keeping it all on an even keel. presenting yourself so that what people see is really you. not many can do that. it is something i try to achieve, probably fail many times, but those times that arise that all of you, the person you think you are, the person people see you as, is together as one are a truly pure way to live. step outside yourself and watch. and learn.

gnoll5
07-25-07, 2:38 pm
the hearts of man blacken with age and experience. it is a slow process, but an inevitable one. as years go by, endless days of sweat and toil, bullshit and lies, it wears upon man like a bar callousing hands. and interestingly enough, it is caused by....other men. it seems like a dominoe effect; one man gets pissed on once too many times, and in turn pisses on the next man, and so on and so forth. soon endless numbers of men are slowly turned, blackened in their souls, a black spot of bitterness forever tarnished and etched into memory. so how does it end? same as it began. it all has to begin with man, one man turning over a new leaf, chosing not to piss on the next man simply because he himself has been pissed upon. turn the other cheek, if there isn't anything constructive to say, let it not be said.sometimes silence is golden. and enough gold can easily turn the blackened masses into something fresh. i am not suggesting wimping out; far from it. but perhaps being the bigger man and rising above the petty bullshit thrown our way daily. fight for whats true to your heart to be sure, defend those who need to be defended, but never fall to the ranks of the blackened.

gnoll5
07-30-07, 10:42 pm
so many lost souls drift upon us, begging to be found, resurrected from the depths that had long swallowed them. i call them the souless; people with few moral backbones, the type of person that would screw over their own grandmas. as i walk this earth, growing older each and every day, i become increasingly alarmed at the minions of the souless amongst us. at every turn they are there, blank stares and emotionless in their ways. sure they grin and smile, perhaps tip their hats at you, give a little nod, but one look into their eyes, and you know; they are lost and you don't mean shit to them. it takes an aged eye, a few years under your belt, and hey, a few too many times getting screwed over to finely hone your instincts; to learn the ability to sniff them out. but learn we must. for they will devour us whole at any given moment, they are the predator among us that kills without mercy. i have become a warrior in these ways; i need to be to survive. will you?

Medford
07-30-07, 10:58 pm
these are the parasites, those that live and breathe who are the oxygen thieves, ready to suck the marrow out of those that work and are disciplined, they live off of the sweat and toil of the productive.

gnoll5
08-15-07, 3:49 pm
as all things in life, the iron has taught me yet another valuable lesson: perserverance. funny thing is, i didn't even realise this until recently. its funny how the day to day dealings in life somehow seem to always fall back to one thing: moving iron.
for the last few years i have been making up for past mistakes, fixing my credit, working my ass off to pay old debts. all the while i have been trying to buy a house for my family. month after month i would get the same response, sorry but your credit just isn't good enough, you need to do this, fix that, etc. i know a lot of people would have given up after being rejected so many times, but i never did. i worked, i paid, and get after them to give me what i wanted. this went on for more than 3 years. finally, last month, i realised my dream. i finally was approved, and construction on our new house has begun. in a couple more months, my family will have a nice new house to live in.
i never took no as an answer, i kept after them, consistently working towards my goals. isn't that what its all about? remind you of a certain lifestyle we all strive for? fuckin' right it is.

brandonA
08-15-07, 4:20 pm
as all things in life, the iron has taught me yet another valuable lesson: perserverance. funny thing is, i didn't even realise this until recently. its funny how the day to day dealings in life somehow seem to always fall back to one thing: moving iron.
for the last few years i have been making up for past mistakes, fixing my credit, working my ass off to pay old debts. all the while i have been trying to buy a house for my family. month after month i would get the same response, sorry but your credit just isn't good enough, you need to do this, fix that, etc. i know a lot of people would have given up after being rejected so many times, but i never did. i worked, i paid, and get after them to give me what i wanted. this went on for more than 3 years. finally, last month, i realised my dream. i finally was approved, and construction on our new house has begun. in a couple more months, my family will have a nice new house to live in.
i never took no as an answer, i kept after them, consistently working towards my goals. isn't that what its all about? remind you of a certain lifestyle we all strive for? fuckin' right it is.

Right on bro, that credit is a mutherfucker...I hate that shit...Good lesson, never give up...You will enjoy that house so much more...

-B

gnoll5
08-23-07, 12:55 pm
wanna know what pisses me off? attitude. comes at ya in all forms and shapes, from all types of people and places. i've heard it from so many all my life...you ain't shit cuz i did this...this place ain't shit cuz i've been this place...fuck it drives me nuts. i actually take it upon myself to knock a cocky bastard down a bit, drive him/her off their self appointed pedestals and rub their fuckin' faces in a slice of humble pie. wanna impress me? be straight up, no bullshit, and especially no attitude. i don't care who you are, what you've done, where ya been, or what you know, because it in no way makes me any less than you. tell me your stories, i will learn and take in all you have to say, i will absorb all info anyone is willing to give to me. belittle me in the process? fuck you. go away. i have time for a travelor, a poet, a genius. i have no time for an attitude.

gnoll5
09-04-07, 3:55 pm
it can stand still. it can speed up so fast you wonder where it went. it can be cruel. it can be sweet. most of all, its all yours. what you do with it is up to you. piss it away or make something of it, which will it be? we've all had moments in our lives, looking back at ourselves in our early years thinkin' that someone is so damn old, couldn't even imagine being that old. funny thing is, it catches up to us all, and we do get that damn old. and older. the thing is, i think, is to make the most of all that you have. each of us only have so much of it, an allottment that is non refundable, nonnegotiable. make the most of it, or regret it forever. for the sport that we all love, it can be the biggest factor in deciding how well we do. we have to bide by it. we have to take it. for it will show us the results, if we allow it. don't squander it, but by all means when it is called for, take it. what is it? Time.

harperpj
09-04-07, 4:30 pm
"fuck you. go away. i have time for a travelor, a poet, a genius. i have no time for an attitude.[/QUOTE]

haha fuck yeah bro. couldnt put it any better than that.

gnoll5
09-05-07, 2:18 pm
"fuck you. go away. i have time for a travelor, a poet, a genius. i have no time for an attitude.

haha fuck yeah bro. couldnt put it any better than that.[/QUOTE]

thanks bro.

gnoll5
10-24-07, 1:17 pm
...is a bitch. it keeps us running after it constantly. how many hours in the day? not enough...in this journey i have hit a speed bump; hell, more of a crevice i would say. no lifting for months the doctors say, things are pretty fucked up in my spine, neck and shoulders. lifting did it, the experts tell me. fuck. i listen, because i have to...for now. i bide my time. my exit from the iron life has left me missing...missing from action, missing from the life i knew and loved. slowly time is robbing me of my gains, but i will not let it rob me of my heart. my will and desire are as strong as ever, my passion for the iron burns as never before. i still have the foundation in which future gains will be built. time has me down....but never out. i wait, lurking in the shadows until once again i wreak havoc upon the iron bully...

gnoll5
01-10-08, 4:09 pm
you know me, i am the watcher. i am the one that stands in the shadows, eyes continuesly moving, processing all that is in front of me. i lurk, hidden in the dark underbelly of life, my purpose not yet realized, my mission nowhere near complete. i fought a valiant battle, it has scarred me for life. vanquished, i lick my wounds until i will once again rise from the dark with a vengeance. gone, but not forgotten. remember me? you will....

gnoll5
03-12-08, 3:10 pm
perhaps the strongest emotion in the human world....fear. fear conquers all, it is a tool used by the cowardly, a weapon used by the strong. too many times i see young people, kids and adults alike letting themselves be defeated in mind and body because of fear. what is fear? i'm not sure. i know it has no place in my life, although i am sometimes tested in my own pratice. times have come when i need to remind myself that fear is a 4 letter word. people will get fear confused too. stupidity, ignorance are but a couple of words not to be confused with fear. refusing to jump from a building isn't fear; its smart. in no way is fear a tool in my training, wisdom is. never confuse the two. fear has no place for a warrior, knowledge is king.

gnoll5
10-04-09, 8:56 pm
i'm back.............i'm pissed.............i'm hungry..................watch me grow.........