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Maccabee
02-06-08, 10:56 am
Welcome To My World. I want to introduce my life to all of you because after all this place is my other family. Maybe some one will learn some thing from me and maybe I will learn some thing from you. I am going to talk about my life and some of the problems I faced that made me the Animal I am today.

Maccabee
02-06-08, 11:30 am
I was born all the way in the southern part of Russia. My town was one of those places where every body knew each other. There was not a single person that was unknown in my neighborhood. People trusted each other so much that when it was 11PM or past midnight I was outside playing alone at the age of 2-3 years old. That is how safe it was or at least that’s what we thought.

In the late 1980’s and into the late 1990’s a small revolution broke out. It was…you could say a religious conflict of the sort. I won’t break forum rules and say who it was or discriminate. Point was we had AK-47’s shot at our home. Tanks were roaming the streets and guarding the schools that my brothers went too. My father had to decide which country we were going to go to. It was either America or Israel…well you already know the answer to that lol.

When I was a little kid certain things began to happen to me which brought….Imbalance...Disability…in my life. There was this kid who used to scare me when I was small. It wasn’t just him, a dog attacked me, all these things were happening and as a 3 year old who just started living life it hit me HARD. I developed a serious case of stuttering and FEAR was flowing in my veins 24/7.

As a young boy...at that point in my life I didn’t want to live anymore because I was different. I felt like I was retarded. I was puny, weak minded, I couldn’t communicate with people, and I was always scared of doing EVERYTHING... I just couldnt take the pain anymore.

When I was a young boy I knew what was happening to me…that’s the problem. I knew some thing was wrong and I did nothing to fix it until I was a teenager. I could not get any medical help because I had no insurance and my family could just not afford it. We came to America with nothing not even one penny. I grew up to fast...I never had that childhood like you see on tv and shit. More to come.



(Eventually I learned how to battle this and I am doing fine now…I still stutter but not like before where it took me 5 minutes to finish a fucking sentence.)

firsthorseman97
02-06-08, 11:48 am
Wow! Great insight to your life.

panzerwagen
02-06-08, 12:35 pm
Hey, thanks for sharing this with us.. it's not always easy to open up yourself to a bunch of unknown characters, and give away sensitive stuff like this. I'll keep a look out for your next post brother!


Cheers

GRUNT
02-06-08, 12:46 pm
very interesting look into your life...

Cellerator65
02-06-08, 2:36 pm
To post your life is a great feat that everyone respects, never be afraid. We all have our struggles, and thanks to this forvm, we have others who open their ears and hearts to anyone in need.

edit: err, i didnt realize you had been here for a long while, you probably already knew everything i said. haha.

Maccabee
02-07-08, 9:40 am
Wow! Great insight to your life.

Thank you. I am glad I faced the challenges that I was born to my face in my early years. It made me who I am today.


Hey, thanks for sharing this with us.. it's not always easy to open up yourself to a bunch of unknown characters, and give away sensitive stuff like this. I'll keep a look out for your next post brother!

Cheers

There is nothing unknown about the people in this brother hood. We are all ONE.


very interesting look into your life...

There is more to come man. Thanks for stoppin by. Means a lot to me.


To post your life is a great feat that everyone respects, never be afraid. We all have our struggles, and thanks to this forvm, we have others who open their ears and hearts to anyone in need.

edit: err, i didnt realize you had been here for a long while, you probably already knew everything i said. haha.

Yeah I did, however everything you siad is true. This is the best place on earth. There is no other forum that is as strong or as united as we are.

Ricky P
02-07-08, 10:07 am
Yeah, man... If there was ever a place to share your thoughts and have people listen, this would be it. Rough childhood like that can only make you stronger for the rest of your life, nothing will ever be as rough as what you've already been through so you know the rest of life is going to be a downhill ride.

Maccabee
02-07-08, 5:30 pm
Every morning I woke up and every morning I knew I was going to stutter. That was my problem...I woke up in the mornings and I already prepared my self to fail. I did everything I could to avoid speaking with people. As you may already know I was put in the ESL classes. It's the type of classes where all the immagrants and to those who had problems learning go to.

The school had no idea where to put my ass, so they put me in both. The regular classes because I did well on the tests and the ESL classes because I stuttered. I always did well on the tests because all I had to do was fuckin write...I didnt have to talk lol. I enjoyed the days where I took tests...all I heard was silence.

To this day the only thing that I still enjoy is pure silence. I always go to the lake...flushing meadow park...and I just sit there relaxing in silence and feed birds too lol. The other days...well that is the time I suffered most.

Every school that I ever went to...which was a few...tried to help me but nothing helped. It was a battle which later I realized that only I had to face. No special computer programs or fuckin doctors could help my ass. Every time we went to a doctor there answer was "Ok, he does stutter". No shit asshole! what else is new. Every time I went...I had to repeat the same fuckin words over and over again. It was bullshit and I refused to go because it kept getting worst at times.

When I was called on to read a certain paragraph from the story...I just froze some times. The teachers didnt know I stuttered because i never participated. I never liked sharing my problems. I am the type of guy...who if has to fight 40 guys I will go by myself. I wont call anyone...I never had to and I never will. I like dealing with my problems by myself because I didnt have to many friends. I basically had this issue from K-5 grade.

Only when I was in 5th grade I began to learn how to deal with this problem. This is when I learned a little bit how. It was a long process...

So in 5th grade I would sit there all quite. the teacher would yell at me:

Teacher: HELLO!!!!??? Read the first line.
Me: (Pretending to not know) I cant find the place.
Teacher: Daniel! LINE NUMBER ONE
Me: I cant find it.
Teacher: Ok some one else please.

WHAT THE FUCK??? WHAT THE FUCK???

I sat there thinking I just said a fuckin sentence...TWO OF THEM without stuttering.

I got confident...I was excited. I realized that when I didnt want to participate my body...my mind...had no problem expressing the thoughts clearly. I was amazed. Thats when I told my self. I CAN DO IT...I can teach myself to talk normally.

I learned two lessons that year.

1. Never prepare yourself to lose

2. I can do anything I put my fuckin mind too...i soon came to realize it was harder then I thought but possible in deed.

More to come.

Maccabee
02-07-08, 5:35 pm
Yeah, man... If there was ever a place to share your thoughts and have people listen, this would be it. Rough childhood like that can only make you stronger for the rest of your life, nothing will ever be as rough as what you've already been through so you know the rest of life is going to be a downhill ride.

What I went through was nothing. I have seen pictures, documentaries, etc... of what children my age go through. My problem was like a walk in the park...the unfortunate others...well it was like a walk in hell.

Trust me man, what I went through during my childhood is nothing compared to others. I am just thankful that was all I had to go through...I dont regret it thought. Everything happens for a reason.

Themostocles
02-09-08, 3:23 am
Great message, strife is to be overcome not just accepted. Thank you for sharing. -T.

Maccabee
02-13-08, 11:06 am
I wanted to put up some thing motivational today, before I wanted to do that I came across this man.

I believe there was a purpose for me in finding him and he can motivate you probably better then any other man...I want to share it with the brother hood. You might have seen this before. Here it goes:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTNac Part 1

from the link you will get 2 and 3.

Maccabee
02-14-08, 11:22 pm
Today I was in the train station. As I walk inside the train I see people cursing and complaining towards a homeless man.

Every one literally ran to the other side of the train. Half of it was empty. People could not stand how he smelled. I walked in and to be honest my fuckin gym clothes smell worst. He didnt smell bad at all...people were over exagerting.

Mainly the corporate fuckers...dressed in there fancy clothes...etc... blah blah blah bull shit.

People judged and treated this old man in such a discusting and disrespectful way I wanted to kick every one's ass.

Yes he fuckin smells a little...but the door was open and so were the windows. It wasnt that bad at all...for the most part he didnt smell at all...people fuckin judge right away. Ya his clothes are dirty so are my gym clothes big deal.

He is human like us, his spit is the same as ours, our blood is the same colour, so why should he be treated like shit. why should he be cursed at?

He felt hurt...you can tell by looking in his eyes...I dont give a fuck what any one thought I leaned against the door right next to him the whole ride home.

We started laughing at people who came inside. He was saying in a sarcastic way ' You better move to the other side of the train...I smell like shit" Ironically those people stayed...hmmmm I wonder why. BECAUSE THEY DID NOT JUDGE>

People need to learn to grow the fuck up...you dont like some thing or have nothing nice to say keep it inside...or get the fuck out of here. He is human and should not be treated differently...

Themostocles
02-18-08, 2:52 am
People ignore(best case) or hate(worst case) what is different. Whether it is leaving the deformed babies to die on hillsides( ie. ancient greece), or slavery. Heck I get ignored in the gym because I am not a typical meathead, or one of the guys that runs his mouth all the time. Its wrong, but its human nature to a degree. We can only try to change it by our own example and leadership. -T.

Maccabee
02-19-08, 1:09 pm
It was early morning and I was 16 years old.

Brother: Take my gloves and wraps...meet me at this location at 7pm sharp.
Me: I dont wanna go there...I cant box...I am too slow...skinny...and I have no strength...I am to weak for that kind of stuff.
Brother: I dont like to repeat myself!!!
Me (scared shitless): Ok ok!

My big brother is probably the greatest man I have ever known in my entire life. He changed his life completly...he made sure to challenge himself mentally, physically, and spiritually....something that I never did when I was younger.

I sat my ass in front of the television and played video games from the time I woke up in the morning until 2-3am in the morning. In the process I did nothing but eat shit and complain all day.

At this point I was still stuttering and didnt want to communicate with anybody...then again at this point my entire life changed.

I see my brother downstairs getting ready to start some boxing training. I had no clue what I was fuckin doing so I just copied him. If there was some thing I was good it was copying people. I was always a fast learner I just never applied myself.

This gym was the greatest. On the right corner you see all the boxers shadow boxing...up in the front you see the powerlifters doing 500 lb squats ATG RAW for several reps...then there were the bodybuilders...they all scared the shit out of me. I was the smallest guy there lol.

Basically, I got hooked. After 2 days of busting my balls and being soar from head to toe the coach finally approached me and said " you workin damn hard kid...get your ass here tomorrow and we can start some real shit"

I was excited as hell. I stayed there for 2 1/2 years and the coach did nothing but torture me.

You see understood that day this was meant to be. That this was the sign that God was sending me to help with my communication and confidence issues.

I knew it wouldnt be easy..I had to prove myself that I can handle all this pain.

firsthorseman97
02-19-08, 1:29 pm
Great insight! I love reading your thread.

Maccabee
02-20-08, 9:23 am
thanks bro

Northman
02-20-08, 10:03 am
I wanted to put up some thing motivational today, before I wanted to do that I came across this man.

I believe there was a purpose for me in finding him and he can motivate you probably better then any other man...I want to share it with the brother hood. You might have seen this before. Here it goes:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTNac Part 1

from the link you will get 2 and 3.

I just watched all 3.

Maccabee
02-20-08, 10:08 am
I just watched all 3.

How do you feel about life now? I am very happy that you came across it.

Maccabee
02-20-08, 10:19 am
5 hit combo right in my fuckin face. It was my first sparing session...I was not ready at all. I was not going to let this guy knock me out though. I was bleeding a little here and there. Honestly, it was my first fight...and I was scared shitless.

You must be wondering...if he is not ready then why is he fighting damn it...

Well...the trainer took a liking to me...he trained me personnelly 4-5 times a week for 3 hours straight. Thats how hard I was pushing...at times he told me to go home but I knew he was testing me and stayed.

This guy at the gym hated me...every time he looked at me I felt as if he wanted to stab me or some thing lol haha...I think he was jealous that the coach trained me more then him.

So...one or two months into my training...this bastard challenged me. I couldn't say no...all the boxers, powerlifters, and bodybuilders would of looked at me like I was a chicken.

You see this was my fuckin chance to prove everyone...including myself...that I...the underdog has the heart and strength to face anything...even though I knew I was going to get fucked up.

Oh he was great...he was much better then I was...I knew what was going to happen. They gave me 2 days to train for this thing. I thought I would get like 3 months time to train for the fight. None the less I was terrified. I never fought before...I didnt know how to hurt some one. My hits were not hard nor was I fast.

The coach wanted me to fight one round only...the coach cared about me...he was always looking out for me. The first round he ripped me apart. That fucker knew he was winning...every one in the gym knew he would win.

I DID NOT GIVE A FUCK IF I WAS GONNA DIE IN THE RING. I was going to fight him as many rounds as I had too. He asked for 2 more rounds with me... I said yes each time.

At one point he knocked me in the head so hard I froze. The coach jumped in looking me in the eyes lookin like he was about to cry. I told him that I wanted to keep fighting.

That kid knocked me again hard two more times my jaw almost broke off. I couldnt talk for a few days afterwards.

Point is the fucker wanted to knock me out and I well I DONT GO DOWN THAT EASY.

After the fight I EARNED MY RESPECT. Every one respected me...including that kid.

I saw him two years afterwards. I wanted to kill him literally...That bastard changed my life...he taught me that no matter if the odds are against me...IF I STAND UP AND CONTINUE FIGHTING...In the end I will get my respect...so I didnt kill him haha lol.

Northman
02-20-08, 4:10 pm
How do you feel about life now? I am very happy that you came across it.

I am very happy you posted it.

Your experiences getting into fighting sound pretty rough. I was lucky that everyone on my team was respectful and there was a lot of camaraderie.

Maccabee
02-20-08, 4:17 pm
I am very happy you posted it.

Your experiences getting into fighting sound pretty rough. I was lucky that everyone on my team was respectful and there was a lot of camaraderie.

That kind of thing just happened with one of the members in our group. I fought and sparred against better fighters then him...people who have more honor then him. What can you do? I am glad I went through that because in the end no one respected him anymore. Since I stood up to him I earned respect from everyone. I learned a lot of things about life from boxing.

I didnt always suck though lol...eventually I became a pretty good fighter. But I stopped fighting I will post later why.

Maccabee
02-20-08, 4:23 pm
It's really funny how life roles down. When trouble comes people's way they begin to panick and worry. It's the typical way for a human to act...fortunatly for us we are not humans...we are Animals. We adapt and overcome.

Every one I know keeps telling me that by:
1. taking 18 credits this semester
2. working at the family business which I dont get paid because I refuse to take money from my parents
3. eating 6-8 times a day
4. and getting my ass in the gym to train balls out

THAT I WILL FALL APART.

I went through harder things then all this shit here standing in my way. I am not going to run away, drop a class, skip out on my parents at work, or even skip meals and workout sessions.

I am going to stay organized and bust through just like I am so far.

School is going great and it will continue too...meals and workouts have never been better.

Every one expects me to fail...I WONT THOUGH...

You need to live life to the fullest...no matter what comes your way you cant look for the short cuts.

Most people sleep 1/3 of their lives, they work 1/3 of their lives, and then you have another 1/3 left to do what you want.

Most ppl spend that time on use less crap. Which is why its important to get a job you enjoy...who gives a shit about money...its important to do things that you have always wanted to do.

You never know when your time is up...dont hold yourself back or else you will regret it. Get UP and get SHIT DONE!!!

Northman
02-21-08, 12:16 am
My respect for you grows with each and every post here. Any chance I will be meeting you at the Arnold?

WeaponX
02-21-08, 12:27 am
Hey Man,
I just really got back after some time away from this place, good to see that you really have some motivational stuff on here man, your always a willing to share, thanks for putting things into perspective and giving a little bit of yourself to help motivate everyone else...

Maccabee
02-21-08, 1:57 am
My respect for you grows with each and every post here. Any chance I will be meeting you at the Arnold?

Thank you Stiff. Unfortunately, not this year bro. I am in debt right now...and cant afford to go. Maybe next year lol.

Maccabee
02-21-08, 1:58 am
Hey Man,
I just really got back after some time away from this place, good to see that you really have some motivational stuff on here man, your always a willing to share, thanks for putting things into perspective and giving a little bit of yourself to help motivate everyone else...

Good to have you back bro...how you doin? hows life?

Themostocles
02-21-08, 2:15 am
DAmn you are a true animal, thank you for sharing with us. -T.

Maccabee
02-21-08, 11:17 pm
DAmn you are a true animal, thank you for sharing with us. -T.

Just expressing what I feel bro...I have a long way to go before I can become an Animal. I have a lot to prove to myself.

Maccabee
02-21-08, 11:28 pm
This guy I know...who I look up to a lot once told me:

" For all the years I lived...I am going to pass down something I learned which is very important...it is the answer to all of life's secrets...it is the ultimate answer to all of your problems...you ready Danny...(I reply yes)...When life charges up at you with all these issues and problems...you know a regular person begins to panick...they hide their tail between there legs...their hands shake, they tremble in fear and they fall apart...(I reply ok so whats the answer)...You get up right in its damn face...show no fear...clutch your fists tight...and prepare to do battle...it dont matter if you win or lose...that concept dont exist...what matters is that you put your life into it...YOUR LIFE...(I reply but I want to win damn it)...(he replies) any man these days willing to put their life on the line for anything will accomplish more then he can ever imagine...you see that is the answer...Live Life Everyday Like Its Your Last...and you cant fail."

Themostocles
02-22-08, 12:32 am
Just because you haven't realized that you are an animal yet doesn't mean you aren't. Heroes seldom ever see themselves for what they are, they just do what they have to do. And you do your thing day in and day out: work for your parents, school and lifting. That is animal brother... -T.

Maccabee
03-03-08, 11:56 pm
It was intresting...some thing I have never seen before. I was walking to the gym...usually I have to walk under a small bridge to get to the other neighborhood. Under the bridge you see many pigeon nests and obviously there are cars driving under the bridge as well.

I see this cat climb its way up to the nests...knowing that if it makes one mistake it will fall to the streets most likely getting run over by a car.

I saw the cat killing a baby pigeon bird.

So I thought about that...in this life style. We need to work just as hard as the cat...even though if we mess up one time it probably wont kill us...however if we take the same approach like the cat then we will put all our energy into the task at hands.

So I tell you this my brothers...train like its your last day alive...eat like its your last day alive...challenge your selves mentally, physically, and spiritually like its your last day alive...only then at the end of your time you can die an honorable person who lived to the fullest with no regrets.

Imagine how much you can and will accomplish taking the same approach...REMEMBER...do things like its your last day alive. Peace

Northman
03-04-08, 12:46 am
I hope that cat got more than one. Those kinds of pigeons are an invasive species.

Maccabee
03-04-08, 1:02 am
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=8577255250907450469&hl=en-GB

watch it now!

Maccabee
03-31-08, 11:37 pm
Lately, I have been able to speak very well with out any issues stuttering. I am learning to stay a bit more calm and let things just go with the flow.

Since the beginning of February when school started for some reason I had trouble speaking up in my Marketing Research class. Every time I tried I would freeze up and put my hand back down. Unless you participate the highest you can score is an 85 in the class.

It took about a month and half but now I am able to participate without stuttering at all. I am getting and learning to be more comfortable around people.

Thats the key to effective speaking...you must stay calm and dont rush things. I am proud of myself but I wont stay to over confident.

I remember missing out on so many oppurtunities with school, clubs, and even the ladies cause I didnt have the balls to speak up.

Now I am actually leading and helping out my business groups in college. I forced myself to take control so that I could learn to speak in front of strangers. I hate stuttering. My tongue shoots to the back of my throat some times and I cant breath...its a small thing when I get to nervous speaking... but thank god every thing is getting better.

Northman
04-01-08, 12:35 am
I have the exact opposite problem. I always seem to speak at the most inopportune time (and I happen to say the absolute worst thing too).

Once we can come to terms with and identify our strengths and weaknesses we can plan to overcome them.

Maccabee
04-01-08, 1:13 am
I have the exact opposite problem. I always seem to speak at the most inopportune time (and I happen to say the absolute worst thing too).

Once we can come to terms with and identify our strengths and weaknesses we can plan to overcome them.

Ya lol thats pretty funny...when I was younger I would of done anything just to speak normally with out stuttering...all we can do now is accept what happened and improve lol.

Your mad funny bro. What type of things are you talking about?

Themostocles
04-01-08, 1:24 am
I am with stiff, I got chronic foot in mouth syndrome. Like Saturday we wend out to dinner, and I call my daughter midget, and behind me was a restraunt employee who was actually a midget. Lets say she was not pleased with my choice of nicknames for my daughter... -T.

Roland
04-01-08, 3:28 am
I wanted to put up some thing motivational today, before I wanted to do that I came across this man.

I believe there was a purpose for me in finding him and he can motivate you probably better then any other man...I want to share it with the brother hood. You might have seen this before. Here it goes:

http://youtube.com/watch?v=yo_24_qTNac Part 1

from the link you will get 2 and 3.

I have seen this before, had to watch it again. This guy is unbelievable.

Maccabee
04-01-08, 1:53 pm
I am with stiff, I got chronic foot in mouth syndrome. Like Saturday we wend out to dinner, and I call my daughter midget, and behind me was a restraunt employee who was actually a midget. Lets say she was not pleased with my choice of nicknames for my daughter... -T.

I am sure the restaurant employee didnt take it to personnel. Then again did you check your food for spit? lol jk...


I have seen this before, had to watch it again. This guy is unbelievable.

Oh man he inspires me so much. I am glad you saw it again.

Maccabee
04-11-08, 12:26 am
Holy shit! Tonight my group presented in front of the whole class. My knees were shaking so hard from being so damn nervous. I got that feeling in my gut that I was going to stutter like a mother fucker again because I wasnt comfortable.

I didnt want to make myself look like a fool. I was sweating and my tongue was going to the back of my throat as usual when I am about to stutter.

I started fuckin with my mind a little bit. I took a couple of deep breaths and literally pictured in my mind that I was about to squat a shit load of weight. I am not kidding...

I got a little confident...when it comes to the weights I am not afraid of anything. I got my mind off of speaking and into the iron and BAM! I was ready to go.

I did a kick ass job...my professor came to me after class and said she liked my ideas.

When ever I speak and I think about the words I want to say I end up stuttering so I had to change what I wanted to say several times. Thats just the way I am. I dont know why.

Thats one presentation down...I fuckin have 4 more to go for 4 other classes.

I hate not being able to talk some times...I fuckin hate stuttering. This always happens to me. I need to start doing some more breathing exercises which I have not done in a while. It helps me a lot. I also need to do some more work with my mind.

The more I think about comfortable things the better I am able to present to ppl.

I will never forget the day I cried like a little school girl in class where my teacher forced me to read when the bitch new I stuttered. It took me 15 minutes to finish and all I did was cry. Everyone in class felt bad for me...no one laughed. They kept telling the teacher to let me stop. I will never forget that day.

Maccabee
04-11-08, 12:51 am
I just dont understand why people from my country hate bodybuilders and powerlifters with all their hearts. I live in a neighborhood full of people from my country and some how everyone fuckin knows each other. It drives me mad. Half the fuckers I walk by in the street know exactly who I am and who my family is. They know which school I go to and where I train. I am known as the roid head in my neighborhood.

I am small as hell. I cant imagine what they will think of me when I weigh 260 bloody lbs. My uncle despises me for the way I live my life. They say it aint healthy...they say I will end up in a damn hospital bed right to my face...they curse me day in and day out...I here what they say behind my back...and I say I FUCKIN LOVE IT.

The more haters I have the more successful I will be. It shows I am improving lol. The funny part is all these haters are alcoholics and are taking in more pills then one pack of fuckin Animal Pak. I get sick and tired of all this bullshit.

To these people from my country...they count me to be a FREAK...I wish I could take one of the Animal guys here and bring them to my neighborhood so these people can shit their pants.

Why dont people just mind their own business...live your life the way you want to live it...people talk to me like I owe them money lol...like I took some thing away from them...My uncle was telling all this bullshit about diseases and supps etc... I told him a quote that I got from a powerlifter...

"You know...you can do all the right things in life and possibly live 100 years old, Or you can really live life and half the best 60, 70, 80, or even the best 90 years of your life doing what you love...just because you lift weights doesnt mean your going to live until 100 and it doesnt mean your not...God decideds these things....NOT YOU!"

scals
04-11-08, 1:26 am
Holy shit! Tonight my group presented in front of the whole class. My knees were shaking so hard from being so damn nervous. I got that feeling in my gut that I was going to stutter like a mother fucker again because I wasnt comfortable.

I didnt want to make myself look like a fool. I was sweating and my tongue was going to the back of my throat as usual when I am about to stutter.

I started fuckin with my mind a little bit. I took a couple of deep breaths and literally pictured in my mind that I was about to squat a shit load of weight. I am not kidding...

I got a little confident...when it comes to the weights I am not afraid of anything. I got my mind off of speaking and into the iron and BAM! I was ready to go.

I did a kick ass job...my professor came to me after class and said she liked my ideas.

When ever I speak and I think about the words I want to say I end up stuttering so I had to change what I wanted to say several times. Thats just the way I am. I dont know why.

Thats one presentation down...I fuckin have 4 more to go for 4 other classes.

I hate not being able to talk some times...I fuckin hate stuttering. This always happens to me. I need to start doing some more breathing exercises which I have not done in a while. It helps me a lot. I also need to do some more work with my mind.

The more I think about comfortable things the better I am able to present to ppl.

I will never forget the day I cried like a little school girl in class where my teacher forced me to read when the bitch new I stuttered. It took me 15 minutes to finish and all I did was cry. Everyone in class felt bad for me...no one laughed. They kept telling the teacher to let me stop. I will never forget that day.


Public speaking sucks. I have gotten better lately but I hate it. I think I'd rather get caught under 135 when benching in front of the entire gym than give a speech lol.

Maccabee
04-11-08, 9:47 am
Public speaking sucks. I have gotten better lately but I hate it. I think I'd rather get caught under 135 when benching in front of the entire gym than give a speech lol.

Ya public speaking gets me nervous...If I dont feel relaxed I will start stuttering infront of one person lol.

Maccabee
04-11-08, 10:27 am
I spoke with my training partner with whom I am having some of the best leg workouts of my life so far. He said that in his prime he used to do cardio all year round. I am not talking like 20 minutes of cardio. This guy weighed 255 lbs and was doing a minimum of 30 minutes of cardio daily and on the weekends he was doing 45-60 minutes of cardio. The guy was in top shape and still is.

It did not make him weaker or anything. The guy is a beast and the strongest dude I have ever known. So I am going to try his approach and style of training.

I am going to adjust my diet and eat like a BEAST. I want to see how this will transform my physique and most of all see how much strength I gain or maybe I might lose strength. We shalle see how this works out. I am going to follow this for a few months.

I know in the beginning its going to hit me hard but I want to see what happens when I adapt. Starting Sunday I will do this.

Northman
04-14-08, 12:14 am
I spoke with my training partner with whom I am having some of the best leg workouts of my life so far. He said that in his prime he used to do cardio all year round. I am not talking like 20 minutes of cardio. This guy weighed 255 lbs and was doing a minimum of 30 minutes of cardio daily and on the weekends he was doing 45-60 minutes of cardio. The guy was in top shape and still is.

It did not make him weaker or anything. The guy is a beast and the strongest dude I have ever known. So I am going to try his approach and style of training.

I am going to adjust my diet and eat like a BEAST. I want to see how this will transform my physique and most of all see how much strength I gain or maybe I might lose strength. We shalle see how this works out. I am going to follow this for a few months.

I know in the beginning its going to hit me hard but I want to see what happens when I adapt. Starting Sunday I will do this.

Be careful with this idea. I had to do this when I was fighting and being the kind of person I am ended up REALLY over training and in the end hospitalized due to serious electrolyte imbalances. Make sure you take in extra electrolytes (like those found in Shock Therapy or gatorade) and adequate calories.

Also keep your lifting and cardio seperate.

Maccabee
04-17-08, 11:25 pm
Be careful with this idea. I had to do this when I was fighting and being the kind of person I am ended up REALLY over training and in the end hospitalized due to serious electrolyte imbalances. Make sure you take in extra electrolytes (like those found in Shock Therapy or gatorade) and adequate calories.

Also keep your lifting and cardio seperate.

Thanks for the advice.

Maccabee
04-17-08, 11:27 pm
I am fuckin sick and tired of seeing these fuckin people in my class with their fancy clothes, electronics, etc... complain about how life is tuff...

Are these people out of their fuckin mind?

Do you have bullets flying at you?

Are you starving?

These fuckers are in school complaining about tests.

What the hell is going on with ppl these days I have no damn clue.

Carpe Diem P.T
04-18-08, 12:10 am
one thing i learnt about other peoples problems is that they are just as important to them as ours are to us, regardless of the problems real worth.

They may seem insignificant to us but not everyone has come in to the same situations we have. This isnt their fault, they are just ignorant to how silly they look worrying about their problem, which compared to most of our lives, is minescule.

Best way to handle people like that is to feel sorry for them because if this is the biggest problem they have and this is how they deal with it, imagine how they would deal with a real problem ;)

Themostocles
04-18-08, 2:08 am
Like Carpe said, its all perspective. I used to get horrible migraines, the doctors would ask me to rate the pain on a scale from one to ten. And I be like its a six, or a seven, because I have had worse; but they never could seem to understand that. These people have no 'real' problems, so when they hit a molehill it seems like a mountain. -T.

Maccabee
06-03-08, 11:32 am
Well its summer time and majority of the people I come across on a daily basis are worried about one thing...and one thing only....LOOKING GOOD THE SUMMER. People need to learn to feel good about themselves and not try to look good for others. I am fricken bodybuilder here...loaded with stretch marks and more on the way...I am happy who I am and what I have become...but people hate that...but I dont give a shit and neither should anyone else.

Every one has their own life style and I respect that...I dont respect people who are living other peoples life styles.



I was walking in the street and heard this guy say.."Damn she is hot...probably a slut"

How the hell can some one do that or even come to that conclusion? Who the hell are you to judge? People are so caught up in judging others they forget about their own lives and do nothing but shit down on other peoples throats.

People are so obsessed with obtaining material posessions it blows my mind away...there is nothing wrong with it but what is your prupose to it...Are you getting it because it makes life easier for you or is it because every one else got it.


I hate technology..my cell phone is old and so is my laptop. I dont even know anything about this kind of stuff. It would be nice to have a new cell phone and laptop...

But then again its like when you get a new cell phone...after a little while you just dont give a damn about it and you start throwing it around...you dont care if it has scratches.

In my opinion thats what life is now a days.. people let their lives turn into a bunch of scratches...they dont give a shit. They think a new ipod, car, home is going to change that but it wont. There are no magic pills or secrets...

..but you can choose to live it differently. I get a scratch I am going to show it with pride and fix it if need be. I have nothing to be ashamed about. Nobody is going to hand me 10 lbs of muscle on a silver platter...I have to dig deep and get my ass under the bar.

Maccabee
06-12-08, 2:36 pm
Some times I lose sight of what the real world is like. I am sitting here getting in all my meals when in reality there are millions out there starving. People who dont even make more then one dollar a day.

I am sitting here bitching and moaning on how soar I am and how my body hurts when in reality I have no idea what PAIN really is.

I am probably one of the luckiest people in the world. I get food from my family business where I work...my father pays the rent giving me a place to sleep...I have clothes and shoes.

Yet some times I would complain that I wish I had better clothes and better shoes. When in reality I need to be thankful for what I have.

The next time I complain for some thing I need to really

Ask myself why you need it? Is it so important? Can you live with out it?

I am just going to be more thankful for what I have.

Vaze_06
08-06-08, 1:04 pm
reading posts to get to the last one...
i'm sub

Northman
08-07-08, 2:42 am
Some times I lose sight of what the real world is like. I am sitting here getting in all my meals when in reality there are millions out there starving. People who dont even make more then one dollar a day.

I am sitting here bitching and moaning on how soar I am and how my body hurts when in reality I have no idea what PAIN really is.

I am probably one of the luckiest people in the world. I get food from my family business where I work...my father pays the rent giving me a place to sleep...I have clothes and shoes.

Yet some times I would complain that I wish I had better clothes and better shoes. When in reality I need to be thankful for what I have.

The next time I complain for some thing I need to really

Ask myself why you need it? Is it so important? Can you live with out it?

I am just going to be more thankful for what I have.

Great reality check.

Maccabee
08-07-08, 7:57 am
Lately I have been so consistent and efficient I must say. My workouts are crazy, muscles pumped to the max, strength is increasing and I have gained so much weight.

Since January 2008 I have gained 35 lbs of mass. I went from 190 to 225 lbs. I really think that by January 2009 I will probably be around 240 lbs. The craziest thing is that I am all natural.

People of this world take for granted what their minds can accomplish. You just need to believe and it will become.

These are some mind games I play with myself. Currently I am really 225 lbs.

But in my log book I right that I am 230 lbs. Every time I added an additional 5 lbs I ended up gaining that weight. I convinced my mind that I was 200,205,210 and so on. I dont even eat 6 meals a day. I eat about 4-5 meals daily.

The same goes for strength. I write my workout in my log book as if I actually did it. I prepare my mind for it and then it physically happens.

Never in my life did I think I can Dumbbell Row a 180 lb dumbbell. But I wrote that in my log book and I gave myself a certain amount of time to accomplish it. All of a sudden I hit it for 6 reps. Heavy Is Relevant...

So strengthen your mind and your body will follow.

Maccabee
06-11-09, 10:57 pm
My training is going very well. The other night a person approached me and this is how the convo went down:

Person: How many sets do you have left?

Me: I will be here all night squating...if you want you can jump in and it will not conflict with my training.

Person: You should only EXERCISE 1 hr a day...or else your going to rip your muscles open. Why would you go through this?

Me: This is what I do. I am a strength athlete.

I did not have to think about that answer. It was very natural. It flowed right through me instantly.

I suddenly realized that I am living for a higher purpose.

I feel strength flowing through my blood. I obsess about strength. In my mind if your not strong then your just weak. There is no in between. Our time here on earth will not last to long. I am going to live every day. I feel sorry some times for people who just sit there and do nothing. Its as if they are waiting to die. It makes no sense to me.

Why is it that so few realize what they are capable of? From this point on I am going to do my very best to inspire any one I can, when ever I can, and how ever I can. There are people out their who need help and if we all just take one person upon our selves to help then we will make a huge impact.

I am not referring to training. I dont mean to go out there and bring people into the gym. What I am saying is just go out there and do some thing to help some one realize their potential. Whether its your little brother, cousin, friend, or that kid you always see sitting alone,.... anyone. Just walk up and say hi. Thats all it takes. Thats how it starts. Live Strong.

Maccabee
06-14-09, 11:02 pm
I was unable to sleep last night at all. I just could not stop thinking about all that is occuring my life.

I hit the gym 5 am- Calves, Forearms, Abs, and Cardio 30 min

I also hit a second session at 4 pm- Chest...After 7 months off this is my fourth chest workout and I smoked a 225 lb bench. 7 months ago my bench was 245. So my strength is on the rise.

I went to a BBQ today and unleashed all fury. I aint so much good food it was awesome.

Maccabee
06-15-09, 12:12 pm
thats supposed to say I ate not aint lol haha...

Lately, I have been doing a load of research on health. I am learning about all the vegetables, fruits, grains, and nuts AND how they correspond with the 5 elements earth, water, fire, wind, and metal.

There are many different things I am learning about health now.

From all the research I have done so far... Every one or every book that I come across they all say that OVER EATING is like posion to the body.

Also, that the healthiest people in the world especially those from Japan who live up to 100 years old all eat until they are 3/4 full.

This is very intresting and makes plenty of sense.

Why do we overload our system? Yes the ultimate goal is to gain size and strength BUT not at the expense of our health.

Over eating is the number one cause of all sicknesses and diseases. I dont know if that statement is true or not but its beginning to make sense. Why eat more food then you have to? Why would we destroy our system?

I am going to apply these methods. I am going to continue eating but until I become 3/4 full and then I will stop every time right before I get full SO THAT MY BODY CAN HAVE A GOOD CHANCE TO DIGEST THE FOOD.

I want to see if this will make me stronger in the gym.

Maccabee
06-16-09, 1:01 am
I feel like a machine. I am getting stronger really fast. I felt like I never left the gym.

I did Strongest Ranges and hit a heavy triple without a belt and I only used chalk. I had a great workout tonight.

Tomorrow I am hitting the delts.

Maccabee
06-22-09, 1:21 am
I can not comprehend what is happening to my body. I took 7 months off and its only been about a month of training and I am back to almost where I left off. Today I was working out my hamstrings and I was so focused. I felt as if some thing possessed my body. I just went psycho and I started psychin myself up. It was awesome.

Maccabee
06-23-09, 11:51 pm
Every time I step foot into my gym I see people their from all walks of life. Different religions, different skin colors...and what amazes me most is that every one trains with people from their own country or religion. This is why I love Animal. We are all united.

In other countries and neighborhoods people go through wars against each other. Truth be told I know if I walk in certain parts of my neighborhood I would probably be attacked.

But in the gym nobody cares. No one gives a shit what your skin color is. No one cares what your religion is. It's all about the intensity. If your training damn hard and moving that weight with power the whole gym will stare...some will have the courage to compliment...and very few will be brave enough to ask to train with you.

My training partners are all different in their own way. Different religions and different skin colors...but we all treat each other with respect. We all train together like brothers and we spot each other...we rely on one another when the lift fails. We stand united.

Truth be told in certain parts of the world if I stood in the street with one of my training partners they would look at us like madmen and as if we have lost our minds and betrayed our countrymen.


This is why I love the gym. This is why I love Animal. When I enter that world I am at peace.

Maccabee
10-14-09, 11:25 am
Lately I have been in a very good mood, but their is still one thing that bothers me a little. It is this obsession that Americans have with consuming every thing in site. What the hell am I talking about? Well, we are about 5% of the worlds population and yet we consume about 30% of the resources of planet earth.

I live a simple life. I don't even have a cell phone or an ipod, and for some reason when people ask me if I have any of those two items I am looked upon as a fool. They say "you got to flow with the people, times are changing, well every one else has one, or the one that pisses me off most...its in style."

I have nothing against having a phone or an ipod by why the hell did it become a necessity. People these days talk more through their phones then they do face to face. The internet has all these websites were you can meet people and talk. What the hell is their to talk about? Just live your life and enjoy it.

I just dont understand why people spend countless hours in front of a tv and the internet. I mean seriously, is every one going to spend 1/5 of their life staring at a screen.

Of all things marketing pisses me off as well, unless of course you use it to help change peoples lives. You sit infront of a tv then they show you all the things your missing out in life, then you go to work to make the money, then you shop. Well, then you come home again to have marketing tell you that your missing out. I read a marketing article where it said people get hit with like 3000 ads a day just by walking to work and back. I dont know if thats true but all these things affect our minds and way of life.

I am just saying, BE AWARE!