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Freak
01-08-07, 2:47 pm
Daily diary, eh? Interesting... Let's see what one motherfucker can do... If nothing else, a place to organize my thoughts. Shit, my thoughts could use organizing...

Bear
01-08-07, 5:21 pm
A journal by a dude named "Freak" huh? Shit i'd subscribe to that!

Freakshow
01-08-07, 5:27 pm
A journal by a dude named "Freak" huh? Shit i'd subscribe to that!

You and me both Bear.

ghost
01-09-07, 8:41 am
i am definitely down!

D-Bomb
01-09-07, 2:11 pm
no games played up here we going to be exploring the inner confines of serious weight lifters minds right here. every crevice can dig out a passion, a hatred for those less informed. totality in the physical and mental aspect is what is to always be striven for. nothing holds us down around here. nothing can stop expression from reaching its true heights.

lets get prophetic and real.

Freak
01-09-07, 4:23 pm
Thanks for the support bros... People say I'm a little rough around the edges, but what the fuck's wrong with that? A little rough never hurt anyone... What I can't stand are those jackasses who think anyone who lifts weights can't put a coherent thought together. Listen, to be serious, you gotta be able to put together a diet, figure out how to tweak it, and stick to it. Same with training. To be successful in this sport, you gotta be a student of it. Bodybuilding, like anything, requires careful planning and thought. I've always taken pride as being a thinking bodybuilder, or a bodybuilder who thinks. In that way, I see myself in the tradition of G and Wrath... Ain't nothing wrong with that, is there fellas?

Freak
01-09-07, 4:48 pm
Why'd I title this thread, my diary, the way I did? It's a reference to Melville's Moby Dick. Fellas, if ya haven't read that, pick up a copy--it's one of the great American novels. All of us here in this great Forum, we chasing after something, obsessed about it... Maniacal may be a more accurate word. We're willing to go the ends of the earth to grab hold of that thing that we want. Much of life is out of our hands, but every once in a great while, life presents itself and we can touch it... Lemme tell ya, it vibrates through the very core of our being... And those of us hungry enough, we can do more than just touch it--we can grab hold with both hands and hang on for the wildest fucking rides of our lives. See, this is why I'm in the game... For the ride... To take control of my destiny, even for a brief moment, cuz that, fellas, is the defining moment. That's the moment where we see who we truly are.

ghost
01-09-07, 4:54 pm
well said brother...great book too.

G Diesel
01-10-07, 1:51 pm
Looks like my kinda dude... Looking forward to reading your thoughts Freak. Peace, G

Freak
01-10-07, 3:51 pm
As a kid, I was always interested in bugs. Millipedes, beetles of all kinds, crickets. Shit, I was even interested in fucking cockroaches. But I'll never forget the first time I ever laid eyes on periodic cicadas.... Some call 'em 17-year locusts. Every 17 years, these cicadas would make their way out of the ground, climb up tree trunks and molt--shed their skins. I'm sure you've all seen 'em--those clear, hard skins split down the middle littering trees and other plants. Anyways, for a couple of weeks, they'd live above ground and mate--their entire calling. But here's the thing... For those other 17 years, they'd live solitary, dark lives burrowing in the dirt. Now try to imagine that--17 years in the dark, a month or so in the light. Imagine that tunnel vision these bugs must have, that singular focus needed to survive and work in the dark... Until they get to come up into the light. Damn. Talk about a metaphor for the job at hand--those fat fuckers could teach us a thing or two about what's important.

RowdyRobby
01-10-07, 4:14 pm
Im all in! what can I do to help?

Reacher34
01-10-07, 11:36 pm
Why'd I title this thread, my diary, the way I did? It's a reference to Melville's Moby Dick. Fellas, if ya haven't read that, pick up a copy--it's one of the great American novels. All of us here in this great Forum, we chasing after something, obsessed about it... Maniacal may be a more accurate word. We're willing to go the ends of the earth to grab hold of that thing that we want. Much of life is out of our hands, but every once in a great while, life presents itself and we can touch it... Lemme tell ya, it vibrates through the very core of our being... And those of us hungry enough, we can do more than just touch it--we can grab hold with both hands and hang on for the wildest fucking rides of our lives. See, this is why I'm in the game... For the ride... To take control of my destiny, even for a brief moment, cuz that, fellas, is the defining moment. That's the moment where we see who we truly are.


Thats real. subscribed.

Freak
01-11-07, 4:02 pm
Today's one of those slow, shitty days... Cold and raw. Hate 'em. People like... Scratch that, people WANT what they can understand and come to expect. They don't want surprises. Look up at the clock, and you see the seconds tick by. Those seconds are the same seconds whether you're in Ohio or on the fucking moon. Same with the weight scale. A pound is a pound is a pound, right? But any competitive bodybuilder knows the mirror is more truthful than the scale when all is said and done. In this fucked up brain of mine, I know the same seconds are passing me by, I tell ya, they seem slower today... Guess I'll head on over to the gym.

D-Bomb
01-12-07, 10:01 am
tired as hell in school i knew it was leg day i knew i had to lift with form and intensity. but true to my word my ass was dragging. but when i hit that gym the atmosphere the homeliness of it all is invigorating. immediately your awake and you find yourself in the hole with the iron digging into your skin. wake up animal your set is up!

Vinny G
01-16-07, 9:42 am
I thought you freaks might like this training story -

Last week im training legs, just got done with back to back on the leg ext and front squats....now i'm on my 3rd set of walking lunges.

I have 80's in each hand, and as I start the set, some goofball eating an apple just stands right along to my left as I do each rep....like he was waiting to walk around me.

now i'm totaly distracted, and yell...YOUR FUCKING ME UP...MOVE -
HE starts to laugh as he walks around me, and starts talking to a trainer and pointing to me.....

Im still holding the dumbells and ask whats so funny.....he says calm down big boy, just trying to move around you....so i drop the dumbells and grap his apple, and tell him he can have it back when he puts my dumbells back on the rack.....he got his apple back....LOL

G Diesel
01-16-07, 12:21 pm
I thought you freaks might like this training story -

Last week im training legs, just got done with back to back on the leg ext and front squats....now i'm on my 3rd set of walking lunges.

I have 80's in each hand, and as I start the set, some goofball eating an apple just stands right along to my left as I do each rep....like he was waiting to walk around me.

now i'm totaly distracted, and yell...YOUR FUCKING ME UP...MOVE -
HE starts to laugh as he walks around me, and starts talking to a trainer and pointing to me.....

Im still holding the dumbells and ask whats so funny.....he says calm down big boy, just trying to move around you....so i drop the dumbells and grap his apple, and tell him he can have it back when he puts my dumbells back on the rack.....he got his apple back....LOL

It is amazing to me how some people survive in the external world without just wandering out into traffic. Peace, G

Hardcore4Life
01-16-07, 2:10 pm
tired as hell in school i knew it was leg day i knew i had to lift with form and intensity. but true to my word my ass was dragging. but when i hit that gym the atmosphere the homeliness of it all is invigorating. immediately your awake and you find yourself in the hole with the iron digging into your skin. wake up animal your set is up!


So true, walking in to the gym is like walking into another universe, all the days stress, problems in your life, your girl, your job, whatever it may be are left outside the door. Its just you and the weights. A time to see what you can truly put your body and mind through. Solitude at its finest!

Bruiser
01-16-07, 2:13 pm
Can't wait see what you'll throw down on the page next!!!

Freak
01-17-07, 4:29 pm
Wassup fellas... Glad to see so many new faces here, the greatest fuckest place in the world. And it's gonna get better...

Freak
01-18-07, 11:27 am
Shit, these two are a part of our everyday lives. When we see others who we deem are "below" us, we might feel the prejudice. In the gym, maybe it's reserved for the novice struggling to make his way. Maybe it's the poser who's fucking taking up space. As for the pride, we might confuse it with vanity. That's what often happens when we project our sense of accomplishment to the world outside. Accomplishment becomes transformed into entitlement. Here's what I believe--that there is a place for pride when we internalize it, when it drives us on, propels us forward to our fucking destiny. As for prejudice, we need to replace this with humility. Humility, brothers, breeds respect.

HAWK
01-18-07, 11:38 am
Shit, these two are a part of our everyday lives. When we see others who we deem are "below" us, we might feel the prejudice. In the gym, maybe it's reserved for the novice struggling to make his way. Maybe it's the poser who's fucking taking up space. As for the pride, we might confuse it with vanity. That's what often happens when we project our sense of accomplishment to the world outside. Accomplishment becomes transformed into entitlement. Here's what I believe--that there is a place for pride when we internalize it, when it drives us on, propels us forward to our fucking destiny. As for prejudice, we need to replace this with humility. Humility, brothers, breeds respect.

Ain't that the truth, Freak. Guys in my gym look down on novices and beginners, and make fun of them for the light weight their pushing around. When I remind them that they were there at one point, the response is always the same, "Yeah, but I wasn't THAT weak." Dude, what the fuck? I watch some of these novices doing light weight, sure, but most with perfect form. The dudes that make fun of him are the same guys squatting 405 with a 3 inch range of motion. I have separated myself from this group of dudes when I'm in the gym, and always look to help out a beginner if he needs it. Once you start believing your own hype, its time to take a harder look in the mirror and decide who you want to be. Humility breeds respect, fuck yeah it does. And another quote I've always lived by:

"Watch your habits, as your habits become your character. Watch your character, because your character becomes your DESTINY."

Look in the mirror, and decide TODAY who you are, and if everything you do will hurtle you full speed to your destiny.

peterpyper
01-18-07, 5:35 pm
sounds like a plan

Freak
01-19-07, 2:40 pm
Ain't that the truth, Freak. Guys in my gym look down on novices and beginners, and make fun of them for the light weight their pushing around. When I remind them that they were there at one point, the response is always the same, "Yeah, but I wasn't THAT weak." Dude, what the fuck? I watch some of these novices doing light weight, sure, but most with perfect form. The dudes that make fun of him are the same guys squatting 405 with a 3 inch range of motion. I have separated myself from this group of dudes when I'm in the gym, and always look to help out a beginner if he needs it. Once you start believing your own hype, its time to take a harder look in the mirror and decide who you want to be. Humility breeds respect, fuck yeah it does. And another quote I've always lived by:

"Watch your habits, as your habits become your character. Watch your character, because your character becomes your DESTINY."

Look in the mirror, and decide TODAY who you are, and if everything you do will hurtle you full speed to your destiny.

Damn straight Hawk... You and I, we see eye to eye.

IRON MAN
01-20-07, 2:01 am
this is good shit. subscribed.

Freak
01-22-07, 12:49 pm
Winters suck... The short days. The cold. Depending on where you are, the frozen muck and other shit. The Midwest is getting hammered by snow. As a kid without any responsibilities, snow means school's closed, right? It means sleds, snowmen and happy fucking times. But anyone who's ever had to shovel snow, walk miles through snow, push a car stuck in snow at one time or another knows the beauty belies the work. Maybe when you look out your window, you see snow and maybe you're thinking to yourself, "Nah, not today. Shit's too cold." This is how it begins--how you get on that slippery, icy slope that takes you right to the bottom and leaves you wondering how the fuck you ever got there. So the next time you tell yourself you're gonna take the day off on account of the snow or anything else for that matter, think about the footprints you will leave in the pristine snow, the ones leading to your gym. Look upon them as words you'll imprint on the blank page of your training log. When you're done, let that written page be a record of the fact that you busted your ass in the gym today and didn't spend it asleep under the warm covers.

dIdDy
01-22-07, 7:02 pm
Winters suck... The short days. The cold. Depending on where you are, the frozen muck and other shit. The Midwest is getting hammered by snow. As a kid without any responsibilities, snow means school's closed, right? It means sleds, snowmen and happy fucking times. But anyone who's ever had to shovel snow, walk miles through snow, push a car stuck in snow at one time or another knows the beauty belies the work. Maybe when you look out your window, you see snow and maybe you're thinking to yourself, "Nah, not today. Shit's too cold." This is how it begins--how you get on that slippery, icy slope that takes you right to the bottom and leaves you wondering how the fuck you ever got there. So the next time you tell yourself you're gonna take the day off on account of the snow or anything else for that matter, think about the footprints you will leave in the pristine snow, the ones leading to your gym. Look upon them as words you'll imprint on the blank page of your training log. When you're done, let that written page be a record of the fact that you busted your ass in the gym today and didn't spend it asleep under the warm covers.

"if my gym was on fire on my leg day, i would don my flame suit and start squating..." -me

kuzmin1
01-22-07, 7:19 pm
Dam i been tryin to balance school. workin out and work i aint been on in bout a week but respect bro keep on goin.

This kinda shit is what makes me get up in the morning

Subscribed

Freak
01-23-07, 12:07 pm
"if my gym was on fire on my leg day, i would don my flame suit and start squating..." -me

Nice... If ya can't take the heat, get the fuck out of the kitchen.

Freak
01-23-07, 12:09 pm
Dam i been tryin to balance school. workin out and work i aint been on in bout a week but respect bro keep on goin.

This kinda shit is what makes me get up in the morning

Subscribed

From time to time, you gotta step outside your life as you KNOW it, as you LIVE it, and see where you stand. This will keep you honest.

kuzmin1
01-24-07, 1:34 am
Thanks bro il keep that in mind

big H
01-24-07, 1:58 am
lovin your outlook man, bodybuilding isnt all muscle. in fact thats the easy part. comitment,dedication,percerverance,enjoyment, finding yourself. thats the real meat in this sport. subscribed

Freak
01-24-07, 11:50 am
lovin your outlook man, bodybuilding isnt all muscle. in fact thats the easy part. comitment,dedication,percerverance,enjoyment, finding yourself. thats the real meat in this sport. subscribed

Agreed bro. Glad to have you aboard.

HAWK
01-24-07, 12:05 pm
Always on point, Freak. Wouldn't expect anything less out of you.

Freak
01-24-07, 12:29 pm
Always on point, Freak. Wouldn't expect anything less out of you.

Thanks Hawk. Each of us bears a responsibility to lead by example.

Freak
01-24-07, 3:16 pm
I've always believed in the discipline of iron, of building a strong body. Yet I've been equally dedicated to sharpening and refining the mind. To those who share my approach, what do you fellas do to keep the mind engaged and active? What are your intellectual pursuits?

kuzmin1
01-24-07, 5:55 pm
I've always believed in the discipline of iron, of building a strong body. Yet I've been equally dedicated to sharpening and refining the mind. To those who share my approach, what do you fellas do to keep the mind engaged and active? What are your intellectual pursuits?


Im about to be in college this commin up semester. Im going out for pre-med and i plan on being a doctor one day. The way i keep busy is i study and learn about the body and the things it can do with the correct resources. I learned the hard way that when your bored your more likely to
cheat on a diet
cheat on a workout

Gotta keep the mind and body busy

kuzmin1
01-24-07, 5:56 pm
The body does what the mind tells it.

Bam Bam
01-24-07, 6:07 pm
lovin your outlook man, bodybuilding isnt all muscle. in fact thats the easy part. comitment,dedication,percerverance,enjoyment, finding yourself. thats the real meat in this sport. subscribed

The truth has been spoken bro.

Subscribed..

BeastofBurden
01-24-07, 6:22 pm
I've always believed in the discipline of iron, of building a strong body. Yet I've been equally dedicated to sharpening and refining the mind. To those who share my approach, what do you fellas do to keep the mind engaged and active? What are your intellectual pursuits?

Penn State, this fall. Wasn't even expecting to get in, but while I'm there I'm going to make the most of it

Fire School courses year round to keep my skills sharp as a firefighter.

Freak
01-25-07, 10:52 am
Im about to be in college this commin up semester. Im going out for pre-med and i plan on being a doctor one day. The way i keep busy is i study and learn about the body and the things it can do with the correct resources. I learned the hard way that when your bored your more likely to
cheat on a diet
cheat on a workout

Gotta keep the mind and body busy


Penn State, this fall. Wasn't even expecting to get in, but while I'm there I'm going to make the most of it

Fire School courses year round to keep my skills sharp as a firefighter.

Congrats fellas... Education provides a cornerstone for the building of character. Me, I'm something of an autodidact. Shit, most people can't fucking spell that word, let alone know what it means.

big H
01-25-07, 4:09 pm
An autodidact, also known as an automath, is a mostly self-taught person — typically someone who has an enthusiasm for self-education and a high degree of self-motivation. synonimous with bodybuilder.

Giant Killer
01-25-07, 4:18 pm
I've always believed in the discipline of iron, of building a strong body. Yet I've been equally dedicated to sharpening and refining the mind. To those who share my approach, what do you fellas do to keep the mind engaged and active? What are your intellectual pursuits?

I read books constantly--theres books out there for everyone, even people who don't like books (?)
also studying other cultures keeps my mind open, mostly Hispanic language and culture although I am a "gringo"
plus watch lots of Jeopardy! haha-(no for real)

Freak
01-25-07, 4:35 pm
An autodidact, also known as an automath, is a mostly self-taught person — typically someone who has an enthusiasm for self-education and a high degree of self-motivation. synonimous with bodybuilder.

Right on the money bro.

Freak
01-25-07, 4:44 pm
Be a voracious reader. Pick up and consume anything and everything you can. For what is bodybuilding if not a metaphor for the big picture? For me, bodybuilding is the fucking spoon with which I mix this shake called Life. It's what brings all the disparate elements of my life together--into a coherent whole that nourishes the body and the mind. Be a sponge. As you would consume a meal for the body, consume ideas for the mind.

Luci
01-25-07, 5:05 pm
Shit, these two are a part of our everyday lives. When we see others who we deem are "below" us, we might feel the prejudice. In the gym, maybe it's reserved for the novice struggling to make his way. Maybe it's the poser who's fucking taking up space. As for the pride, we might confuse it with vanity. That's what often happens when we project our sense of accomplishment to the world outside. Accomplishment becomes transformed into entitlement. Here's what I believe--that there is a place for pride when we internalize it, when it drives us on, propels us forward to our fucking destiny. As for prejudice, we need to replace this with humility. Humility, brothers, breeds respect.

This is so true, Freak. It's a shame we don't have more respect for one another in this world. It shouldn't matter if your starting out body building or if your a pro. Respect people who you share a gym with. I sometimes get annoyed when people feel they have to strike up a conversation as soon as I put my dumbbells down after each set. But this is the real world and most of the time I'm the only woman in the iron pit. I can't be mad at people because they want to converse with me. I know how much time I have until I have to start my next set. I listen until I have to hit the weights again and then exsuse myself to get back to my training. This is the real world. You can't ignore people around you and pretend they're not there. Respect and Humility is totally key to improving yourself and in turn improving the environment around you. You share this planet with many people.

Freak
01-25-07, 5:15 pm
This is so true, Freak. It's a shame we don't have more respect for one another in this world. It shouldn't matter if your starting out body building or if your a pro. Respect people who you share a gym with. I sometimes get annoyed when people feel they have to strike up a conversation as soon as I put my dumbbells down after each set. But this is the real world and most of the time I'm the only woman in the iron pit. I can't be mad at people because they want to converse with me. I know how much time I have until I have to start my next set. I listen until I have to hit the weights again and then exsuse myself to get back to my training. This is the real world. You can't ignore people around you and pretend they're not there. Respect and Humility is totally key to improving yourself and in turn improving the environment around you. You share this planet with many people.

Luci, your approach is both generous and judicious. I applaud you.

Hard Cell
01-26-07, 3:48 pm
I've always believed in the discipline of iron, of building a strong body. Yet I've been equally dedicated to sharpening and refining the mind. To those who share my approach, what do you fellas do to keep the mind engaged and active? What are your intellectual pursuits?

Whenever i wanted to push my self over my own boundaries, doing the last set or pushing an extra reps, I always think of my past, think about my anger to the life and to the people that betrayed me. I get into my own zone. Focusing my anger to give me the strength to lift, to push myself. I threw my anger towards the weight and by each reps going, I'll feed the pain from my body, my limbs, my muscle to my soul, to push me towards the end. The result is always satisfiying. Towards the end of each exercise, I feel more focus,I feel more powerful, I feel more strengh, I feel more control, and I am alone and I dont see anyone else. I will stay alone until there is longer any pain to be fed in. I will be in my zone and in my zone there will be only me.

Hard Cell
01-26-07, 4:01 pm
oh let me rephrase.
I pursue a better life for myself. Education is important but it's not ultimate.
Things that kept me pushing myself is my life itself, to overcome my past, to overcome my self. To be better me tomorrow than myself today. I love my life. I went thru mud and blood before. It kept me hard today, and it'll kept me harder tomorrow. I live my life the way I wanted it to be, not the way the world wanted it to be.

HAWK
01-26-07, 5:18 pm
Be a voracious reader. Pick up and consume anything and everything you can. For what is bodybuilding if not a metaphor for the big picture? For me, bodybuilding is the fucking spoon with which I mix this shake called Life. It's what brings all the disparate elements of my life together--into a coherent whole that nourishes the body and the mind. Be a sponge. As you would consume a meal for the body, consume ideas for the mind.

Fuck yeah, Freak. When I have free time on my hands, you can almost always find me buried in a book. Non-fiction, fiction, you name it, it's all good. Each page a rep, each chapter a set, each book a workout for your brain. Nothing better.

big H
01-26-07, 6:06 pm
well this isnt my thread but while were here, what are some of your fav books or authors. hearts in atlantis and needful things by stephen king are a couple of my favs. what are you guys into?

Giant Killer
01-26-07, 6:51 pm
well this isnt my thread but while were here, what are some of your fav books or authors. hearts in atlantis and needful things by stephen king are a couple of my favs. what are you guys into?

no disrespect, but this should probably continue on a dedicated thread and not fill up Freak's log...

D-Bomb
01-26-07, 7:05 pm
i agree, that should go in da livin section in a new thread brother. unless you can quote a author which can relate to the context of which freaks thread is all about.

big H
01-27-07, 5:20 pm
i agree, that should go in da livin section in a new thread brother. unless you can quote a author which can relate to the context of which freaks thread is all about.


no disrespect, but this should probably continue on a dedicated thread and not fill up Freak's log...

no no good call sorry.

dIdDy
01-29-07, 10:02 am
It is amazing to me how some people survive in the external world without just wandering out into traffic. Peace, G

lol @ G....

ghost
01-29-07, 10:39 am
G, there are those days where you just kind of want to guide people in to traffic and let nature run its course.

Freak
01-29-07, 10:54 am
i agree, that should go in da livin section in a new thread brother. unless you can quote a author which can relate to the context of which freaks thread is all about.

Thanks for getting my back D-Bomb, but it's alright. The spirit of Animal is the spirit of community. This is my log, but others are welcome to post here.

Freak
01-29-07, 11:10 am
Fuck yeah, Freak. When I have free time on my hands, you can almost always find me buried in a book. Non-fiction, fiction, you name it, it's all good. Each page a rep, each chapter a set, each book a workout for your brain. Nothing better.

List some of your favorites bro...

Freak
01-29-07, 11:11 am
well this isnt my thread but while were here, what are some of your fav books or authors. hearts in atlantis and needful things by stephen king are a couple of my favs. what are you guys into?

Everything I can get my hands on bro...

HAWK
01-29-07, 1:31 pm
Anything by Clive Cussler...I like his older books better. I'm also a huge fan of Alaskan and other wilderness books. Those guys were savages, fucking amazing shit they did, and still do. Try Shadows On the Koyukuk, and One Man's Wilderness. That shit is just damn impressive to me, and keeps me interested.

Reacher34
01-29-07, 5:53 pm
Everything I can get my hands on bro...

Haha, its sorta funny that this is coming up in a bb forum. But i gotta put you guys on to Lee Child. He writes novels about a character Jack Reacher (yea, thats where my screen name came from). It'll never be mistaken for true "literature", but hes a captivating character who knows how to be a man and do what needs to be done. You might not learn anything from it, but they are good books to escape from all the bs from time to time. I recommend starting with "One Shot".

Freak
01-29-07, 5:55 pm
Anything by Clive Cussler...I like his older books better. I'm also a huge fan of Alaskan and other wilderness books. Those guys were savages, fucking amazing shit they did, and still do. Try Shadows On the Koyukuk, and One Man's Wilderness. That shit is just damn impressive to me, and keeps me interested.

Can't say I've come across Cussler in my wanderings, but I'll be sure to add it to my list.

Freak
02-02-07, 1:45 pm
Times are tough fellas. Time is tough too... Too many fucking irons in the fire right now... Gonna simplify. Gotta rectify.

Freak
02-02-07, 5:34 pm
The truth is a difficult proposition... First, because we don’t know what it looks it--don't know the form or the outline. It's like a fucking shadow. Shit, we sometimes think we know it, found it, hold it in our hands... It's like the words printed on a page of a book or in the voice of the news reporter on TV… But the truth is, the truth is a penumbra, vague and undefinable. This leads me to my second point… It’s difficult because we’re not looking in the right places. Shit, the truth is not the room but the door. It’s not the wall but the cracks. It's not in the words but between the lines. It’s not the destination but the journey. Here, I'm reminded of Beethoven and his transcendent Symphony No. 9 in D minor. Imagine this man's journey. Though he put notes down on a page, they might as well have been the blank spaces between them... The man was deaf. Though he couldn't hear, his world was full of glorious music. Shit, I'm no Beethoven. I'm just a simple man with simple fucking desires. But I know where the truth is--it's in the space between each and every rep. I know the only music I'm interested in is the sound of metal crushing metal, iron grinding on iron. Tell me that isn't the truth...

BigTig1165
02-04-07, 11:03 pm
In response to keeping the mind sharp, I just completed my MBA(Masters in Business admin) this past December after working on it part time for 10 years! In that time I got married, had two awsome kids(2 great boys!), worked full time and changed my career two times, and gained 20 pounds of muscle! It was very difficult, but am very blessed to have a great job, beautiful wife, etc...

Peace - BigTig

HAWK
02-04-07, 11:05 pm
In response to keeping the mind sharp, I just completed my MBA(Masters in Business admin) this past December after working on it part time for 10 years! In that time I got married, had two awsome kids(2 great boys!), worked full time and changed my career two times, and gained 20 pounds of muscle! It was very difficult, but am very blessed to have a great job, beautiful wife, etc...

Peace - BigTig

Congrats BigTig, it's fuckin' great when everything comes together isn't it? All that hard work and time invested pays off, and you see the fruits of your labor. Fuck yeah man, thats good stuff.

BigTig1165
02-05-07, 10:45 am
Thanks Hawk....

Freak
02-05-07, 4:08 pm
In response to keeping the mind sharp, I just completed my MBA(Masters in Business admin) this past December after working on it part time for 10 years! In that time I got married, had two awsome kids(2 great boys!), worked full time and changed my career two times, and gained 20 pounds of muscle! It was very difficult, but am very blessed to have a great job, beautiful wife, etc...

Peace - BigTig

Congrats Big... Sounds like you got it all. You putting that MBA to use?

Freak
02-14-07, 5:51 pm
Read the morning paper... Watch the evening news… Listen to the radio… Information is everywhere. The news is fucking inescapable and neatly pre-packaged. It's hypnotic. It tranquilizes. We’re drowning in facts. But what are we getting exactly? The big picture or small fragments--pieces of a jigsaw puzzle? Through information, we construct ideas. Ideas become reality. Reality becomes the cage that we reside in. How do we break out? Through questions… Through critical thought and reading between the lines... Most of all, through action and deeds. I will say this--there is no finer truth than the truth of rough steel in the hand. There is no clarity greater than that gained from the vision iron induces through the haze of pain. Fellas, at the end of the day, the talk must end. There will be time for that shit later… Right now, that talk must be replaced by the dialogue between you and the plates--the ones that scream at you as you smash them-- “Fuck you..." “You ain’t nothing but a piece of shit...” This is what I hear and to drown that out, I get to hammering even harder… Harder until the only truth I hear, the only words ringing in my ears are those of the iron I have submitted with my own two hands. Who here hears what I hear? Speak up...

HAWK
02-15-07, 11:13 am
You know I do Freak. The truth starts to ring like a fire siren in my head when I wrap my hands around that bar. There is nothing cleaner than the cold, steel truth. Man, that shit is real.

hjayss
02-21-07, 4:29 am
I thought you freaks might like this training story -

Last week im training legs, just got done with back to back on the leg ext and front squats....now i'm on my 3rd set of walking lunges.

I have 80's in each hand, and as I start the set, some goofball eating an apple just stands right along to my left as I do each rep....like he was waiting to walk around me.

now i'm totaly distracted, and yell...YOUR FUCKING ME UP...MOVE -
HE starts to laugh as he walks around me, and starts talking to a trainer and pointing to me.....

Im still holding the dumbells and ask whats so funny.....he says calm down big boy, just trying to move around you....so i drop the dumbells and grap his apple, and tell him he can have it back when he puts my dumbells back on the rack.....he got his apple back....LOL

OKAY THIS IS WHERE THE FREAKS ARE HANGING OUT HA HA . Im in.
I got one for you brothers me and my wife are driving down the street and this ass hole is double parked and he is yapping to some dork. They think people are going to back up and go the other way shit my house is down there. I tell the ass hole to move it or I will move it for him. He laughs I get out and the three of them damn neer run each over to get back in that piece of shit and move it out the way. Fuck being anabolic and not annoyed move I gotta piss I just drank 16 oz shake I would piss on them before I go back up and go around the block.

Giant Killer
04-28-07, 1:04 pm
Reality becomes the cage that we reside in. How do we break out? Through questions… Through critical thought and reading between the lines... Most of all, through action and deeds. I will say this--there is no finer truth than the truth of rough steel in the hand. There is no clarity greater than that gained from the vision iron induces through the haze of pain. Fellas, at the end of the day, the talk must end. There will be time for that shit later…I get to hammering even harder… Harder until the only truth I hear, the only words ringing in my ears are those of the iron I have submitted with my own two hands. Who here hears what I hear? Speak up...

Yeah I hear what you hear. Fuck the cage, I need room to grow.

This is some proverb shit for the wall of my weightroom, mos' def. Keep 'em comin' Freak.

SweatHog
04-29-07, 6:52 am
You're telling it like it is. I'm subscribed.

I read anything and everything I can get my hands on. Being a former nerd it never ceases to amaze me the amount of top notch philosophy I find in training circles.

Most the intellectuals I've met are full of shit. You are for real. Respect.

Feed the body, feed the mind, feed the hunger.

Preston
04-30-07, 10:20 pm
Daily diary, eh? Interesting... Let's see what one motherfucker can do... If nothing else, a place to organize my thoughts. Shit, my thoughts could use organizing...

Indeed, everyones could use some organization and placement! Keep your head straight Animal! Stay strong, lift strong, and keep your mentality straight.

-Preston[ANIMAL]

Iron_Spirit
05-01-07, 4:42 pm
... When we see others who we deem are "below" us, we might feel the prejudice. In the gym, maybe it's reserved for the novice struggling to make his way.


.... As for prejudice, we need to replace this with humility. Humility, brothers, breeds respect.

Where I'm from, one has to EARN respect. It isn't a right, its an earning. And from me, not every average novice is getting it. That doesn't mean I'll blatanty insult them, but I won't think much of them until proven otherwise, same goes for myself.

If I want respect from someone I care (myself included), I'll earn it through example. As for strangers in the gym... I know what I'm made of, I don't give a shit what they think of my commitment to training, that is for me and a couple others.

Freak
06-13-07, 9:22 am
Where I'm from, one has to EARN respect. It isn't a right, its an earning. And from me, not every average novice is getting it. That doesn't mean I'll blatanty insult them, but I won't think much of them until proven otherwise, same goes for myself.

If I want respect from someone I care (myself included), I'll earn it through example. As for strangers in the gym... I know what I'm made of, I don't give a shit what they think of my commitment to training, that is for me and a couple others.

Fuck yeah brother. Earn that shit. The longer it takes to earn, the sweeter the fucking taste. Been away from this place far longer than I wanted... Well it's good to be home.

Giant Killer
06-13-07, 9:31 am
Good to see you back Freak. Been missing out on your writings big time.

Freak
06-13-07, 9:33 am
Good to see you back Freak. Been missing out on your writings big time.

Damn fucking straight bro. Had some business to take care of and it took more out of me than I thought. Aim to stay for as long as I can this time around. Maybe I'll be able to work myself up to my old status. We shall see...

7
06-13-07, 1:45 pm
Subbed. Very eloquent stuff Freak. Haven't seen this thread before... "Bodybuilding as philosophy"? Right up my alley.

Freak
06-13-07, 2:36 pm
Too many lifters barking away on their fucking cell phones. Shooting the shit, chasing skirts and wasting precious time. Piss or get the fuck off the pot. Maybe they're just trying to yank my chain. It's too fucking hot in here. I don't give two shits what they do with their time, these little dogs, how they fucking spend their dime. Me, I have my headphones on and the music blasting. But it's not to drown these fellas out. No sir. It's to keep the sound of the drums at bay. Doom... Doom... Doom... The drums are fast approaching. The iron awaits.

ghost
06-13-07, 2:38 pm
the war is on.....the battle has ensued.....get ready for the greatest challenge of your life.!


you are on the right track brother...keep it up.

Strength and Honor.

Giant Killer
06-13-07, 2:39 pm
The steady drone & thump of the 'phones...it's the call of the wild, Freak.

Freak
06-13-07, 2:42 pm
Damn fucking straight my brothers... It's time to take this sport back. Not for me or for you. But for all of us. Shit, killed back last night. I made my statement in silence. It was bitter and it was sweet. Now let's speak. Let's fucking destroy with words and ideas. Let's carry this fight forward...

ghost
06-13-07, 2:43 pm
i cant fucking wait to get home and SMASH the shit out of my arms

Freak
06-13-07, 2:45 pm
i cant fucking wait to get home and SMASH the shit out of my arms

SMASH THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. Destroy and annihilate them. When the smoke clears, you tell them who sent you... And tell me tomorrow it wasn't all good brother.

ghost
06-13-07, 6:32 pm
http://forum.animalpak.com/showthread.php?p=105630#post105630

check it out....what a great workout...

Freak
06-15-07, 12:34 pm
http://forum.animalpak.com/showthread.php?p=105630#post105630

check it out....what a great workout...

Damn brother, that's a fucking heavy duty workout. Good to see you fueled your anger towards the iron. The way it should be. The way it was fucking meant to be.

Freak
06-15-07, 2:46 pm
Shit. It's fucking hot. Hot under my collar. Hot on the streets. Hot in my place. Hot in that stinkhole where I work. The other day, I'm standing in a pool of my own sweat, finishing up a set of hack squats. I'm mumbling something about the heat, and this little motherfucker walks up to me and tells me it's not the heat, it's the humidity. Shit, as I was debating whether or not to rip into him, I realized something... Damn, he was right. There's a lot more to heat than just the temperature. Though it's one word, it's got many meanings. Moisture in the air can change the way we "feel" the fucking heat. There's heat that wilts and the heat that burns. Heat that sticks and heat that dries. Then there's the heat in my legs, the burning, reminding me that the iron was waiting. So I walked back, loaded up some more fucking weight, and lit the fucking kindling. I turned my thoughts to the pain... And how I felt that.

ncsu06
06-19-07, 12:16 pm
SMASH THE FUCK OUT OF THEM. Destroy and annihilate them. When the smoke clears, you tell them who sent you...

spoken like a true mad man....great stuff here in your thread...i'm captivated...i can't stop.....good shit bro....good luck brothers

Roland
07-19-07, 6:04 am
I'm in this with you bro, these kind of diaries just light the fucking fire under my ass, thanks for takin the time to write, this is some real shit, keep it up!

Subbd

Freak
07-19-07, 9:58 am
My father. Growing up, he always thought himself a big time sportsman, no shit. But no on had the guts to tell him otherwise on account of his size and his temper. Cuz of that, some of his drinking buddies would call him Flashpoint. Yeah, he could handle himself in the field, no doubt about it. But on water, he was in his element. Here was a true, dyed-in-the-fucking-wool fan of the rod and reel. His one weakness? Other than my mother, it was the bigmouth. Smallmouth? Fuck no. Bigmouth baby, he’d say. Big boy, lunker, hawg too. Shit, let me tell you, the man had more names for that damn fish than I had holes in my belt at 8 years old. Jigs, live bait, Carolina rigs, you name it. He was no finesse man. He muscled the fish, like most things in his life. Good part of the time, the line would snap. No anger. He’d just chuckle to himself, throw back another beer, and tie on a new rig. “Fair’s fair,” he’d tell me, and throw he rig back in, waiting for the next big bite. Rare moments like that, I saw deep into the man. Yeah, rare moments like that.

Back then, I’d always go with him, never had a choice. He wanted the company, I guess. This was my fucking chance now. Go or train? Train or go. Shit. So I called my buddy who was coming in out of town, the one I was to hit back with… And I sat on that boat with a damn fishing pole in my fucking hands, watching that almost invisible line, tougher than you think, stronger than it looks. No barbells. No dumbbells. No sound of iron. Just silence. Thing is, neither of us landed anything that afternoon. Truth is, it didn't fucking matter. Sitting there on the water, I knew that the iron would always be there. I knew I'd have to double up my training the next day. So what. You make do, make peace. Over the years, things have pulled me along. My father. My life. Sometimes in the wrong direction, often in different directions at the same time. At some point, you grow up and that's when you start doing the fucking pulling. That's when you gotta pull and pull hard. You learn how to prioritize and manage all the damn responsibilities and obligations. Still, if you got game, if you got desire, then there's one thing that will always pull you back in, reel you back. The iron.

Freak
07-19-07, 10:11 am
I'm in this with you bro, these kind of diaries just light the fucking fire under my ass, thanks for takin the time to write, this is some real shit, keep it up!

Subbd

Time is at a fucking premium. I do what I can.

Freak
08-09-07, 1:23 pm
I'm seeing a lot of hate on this forum. I see some denigrating intelligence and a fucking education, as if having one or the other was a fucking stigma. Me, I don't have a whole lot of formal education. 99% of what I learned, I learned on my own. But shit, I'd give my left nut for a formal education. No, not for some shitty piece of paper that tells me I "made" it. Anybody with a printer can fucking print on paper. Paper is paper and it'll all go the way of the toilet kind one day. No, I envy those with a higher degree because of opportunities for discussion and collaboration. For me, learning isn't something done in isolation. You don't sit in a room, by yourself, and absorb knowledge from a book. A book is not gonna challenge you, call you out for the way you think. A book is not gonna refine your opinion or clarify your thoughts. So it's not about a grade and it's not about a certificate. It's about opportunity and community.

See, isn't that why we're all here? Yeah, we all got our own problems, or own troubles. Every fucking day, we're all trying to crawl out from our own personal shitholes. But we come here to vent, to share, and to cooperate. This place is our fucking community. So let's stop with the fucking stereotypes and the ignorance. Respect accomplishment of all kinds, whether in the weightroom or the classrom. Because the day you start thinking you're better than someone else, you ain't. The day you start thinking your superior, hang it up. The day you start looking down on another because he's got a fancy degree or because you think he's just another fatass is the day you're lost. Punish the fucking iron. Not the kid next to you, the one you think's worse off.

brandonA
08-09-07, 5:21 pm
I'm seeing a lot of hate on this forum. I see some denigrating intelligence and a fucking education, as if having one or the other was a fucking stigma. Me, I don't have a whole lot of formal education. 99% of what I learned, I learned on my own. But shit, I'd give my left nut for a formal education. No, not for some shitty piece of paper that tells me I "made" it. Anybody with a printer can fucking print on paper. Paper is paper and it'll all go the way of the toilet kind one day. No, I envy those with a higher degree because of opportunities for discussion and collaboration. For me, learning isn't something done in isolation. You don't sit in a room, by yourself, and absorb knowledge from a book. A book is not gonna challenge you, call you out for the way you think. A book is not gonna refine your opinion or clarify your thoughts. So it's not about a grade and it's not about a certificate. It's about opportunity and community.

See, isn't that why we're all here? Yeah, we all got our own problems, or own troubles. Every fucking day, we're all trying to crawl out from our own personal shitholes. But we come here to vent, to share, and to cooperate. This place is our fucking community. So let's stop with the fucking stereotypes and the ignorance. Respect accomplishment of all kinds, whether in the weightroom or the classrom. Because the day you start thinking you're better than someone else, you ain't. The day you start thinking your superior, hang it up. The day you start looking down on another because he's got a fancy degree or because you think he's just another fatass is the day you're lost. Punish the fucking iron. Not the kid sitting next to you, the one you think's worse off.

Bro, you hit the nail on the head...This is a powerfull statement, everyone needs to read this....fuck that, everyone needs to FEEL this...

-B

Freak
08-10-07, 1:11 pm
Thanks brother. Just doing what I can.

brandonA
08-10-07, 1:12 pm
Thanks brother. Just doing what I can.

i just posted a link to that post in the Snowboarding thread...Hopefully it will make an impact..

Thanks bro

-B

barnhart14
10-17-07, 7:43 pm
everything you say blows my mind, keep 'em coming freak

Giant Killer
10-25-07, 11:52 pm
Where you at Freak? Long time no see brother. Missing your words of wisdom on here...

Core
11-01-07, 3:45 am
Gotta say Freak, keep it up. Thats some good decent work your doing in this diary. Letting people know that being Animal doesn't imply being an animal. There is still place for honour, decency and respect in bodybuilding.

jonnydunz
11-15-07, 2:05 am
I have to say Freak that you have a profound way of explaining your thoughts as well as your emotions for this life we call bodybuilding. I know that I was stereotyped as a dumb jock as I played basketball the majority of my life. What most people did not understand was the time that I put into my game or the dedication that it took fo me to be one of the best. I worked my ass off when others where still sleeping in their warm beds. I was the kid who was shooting baskets in the rain and shoveling the snow off the court just so I could shoot a frozen basketball. Talk about dedication to something that you love, that's dedication and discipline. I love this lifestyle of bodybuilding and just like basketball, I want to be one of the best at whatever I choose to do. Nobody is going to give me the kind of body that I desire and the weights don't care if I show up or not. They will be there waiting to kick my ass just like everyone else who thinks that they can defeat them on their turf. Life has many ups and downs, so it's up to each individual to make the most of those times. This is livin for me when I get in the gym as I am able to go to a place that others just can't imagine. Nobody can change my goals that I have set and no one can make me doubt what I will become. You keep on doing big things in that gym Freak and the payoff is always greater than the work you put in. I am with you brotha in this lifestyle until the end of time. Peace

Freak
01-31-08, 9:35 am
I have to say Freak that you have a profound way of explaining your thoughts as well as your emotions for this life we call bodybuilding. I know that I was stereotyped as a dumb jock as I played basketball the majority of my life. What most people did not understand was the time that I put into my game or the dedication that it took fo me to be one of the best. I worked my ass off when others where still sleeping in their warm beds. I was the kid who was shooting baskets in the rain and shoveling the snow off the court just so I could shoot a frozen basketball. Talk about dedication to something that you love, that's dedication and discipline. I love this lifestyle of bodybuilding and just like basketball, I want to be one of the best at whatever I choose to do. Nobody is going to give me the kind of body that I desire and the weights don't care if I show up or not. They will be there waiting to kick my ass just like everyone else who thinks that they can defeat them on their turf. Life has many ups and downs, so it's up to each individual to make the most of those times. This is livin for me when I get in the gym as I am able to go to a place that others just can't imagine. Nobody can change my goals that I have set and no one can make me doubt what I will become. You keep on doing big things in that gym Freak and the payoff is always greater than the work you put in. I am with you brotha in this lifestyle until the end of time. Peace

Thanks brother. Most people out there don't know the first thing about sacrifice or dedication or discipline. To me, it's like the clothes you wear on your back. Most people want the newest threads. They change it up every day, every week every month... Always gotta have the latest and fucking greatest. Shit, having the fucking balls to know your way in this world, to be focused on a goal, is just the opposite. It's like wearing the same shit day in and day out. Until the clothes on your back become battered, torn and ragged. Until you reek. Maybe that's why people look at us funny, the dedicated. Discipline demands focus to the point of insanity. So I say, give me these rags any day.

Freak
01-31-08, 9:36 am
Gotta say Freak, keep it up. Thats some good decent work your doing in this diary. Letting people know that being Animal doesn't imply being an animal. There is still place for honour, decency and respect in bodybuilding.

To me, these are the fucking cornerstones of any endeavor worth pursuing.

Freak
01-31-08, 9:37 am
Where you at Freak? Long time no see brother. Missing your words of wisdom on here...

How you been GK? Still holding up I trust.

Freak
01-31-08, 10:53 am
Youth. Damn, how I fucking miss it. Last weekend, I was at the mall and these kids were skateboarding all over the fucking place, through the crowds, down the steps, causing some minor mischief and mayhem. Shit, don't tell that to the grownups. They were looking at 'em with disapproving looks, muttering under their breaths. Needless to say, the security guards were eventually called in and order was soon restored. I couldn't help but laugh. When you're young, you don't have to think about the fucking consequences of your actions. If you fuck up, if you make mistakes, you got time to make amends, right the wrongs, set the ship back on course. When you're young, you don't need a good reason to do shit... And you can do some crazy ass shit, let me tell ya. I know. How fucking sweet is that? It's like you're free. When you get old, you got fewer days ahead than behind. When you're old, you forget the joy of doing something on a whim, not worrying about what others would think. The exuberance is gone. Being reckless and thoughtless is for the young. But should it be? Think back to when you were a kid. You did things that made no fucking sense. Maybe you threw your toys around the playroom and your folks laughed. Maybe you wanted to wear shorts to school in the dead of winter. Where did all that go? As we get older, we lose something. Our lives becomes boxed in. We lose perspective. Things got to make sense. Things got to be ordered. That's what those grownups were thinking in that mall. But fuck that. This is why I love the gym. The weight room is my fucking play room. In it, I'm like a kid again, throwing shit around, making noise, and not worrying about the consequences. I can leave all my problems, all the shit in this world behind. When I'm in the gym, I'm free. I'm young again. I'm stupid and I wouldn't have it any other way.

Freak
01-31-08, 2:05 pm
Two words I've grown uncomfortably familiar with over the years. Said these words to my to my friends and my acquaintances. To the people in the gym and those on the street. To my butcher, the grocer, my doctor, my training partner. To those who matter least to those who matter most. I guess I'm just an equal opportunity asshole. Funny thing about those words. Depending on how I say 'em, they're an insult, a joke, or a sign of my friendship. The words can be a fist or a handshake. One way or the other, I've said 'em too much. So much that I don't rightly know what they mean anymore. It's like they don't have weight left. Words are like that. Slippery. Troublesome. Ambiguous. In the end, when all the words have been said, there's nothing but silence. Not so the iron. The iron speaks in a language that is cold and hot at the same time. They can stoke the fire and cool the rage. There is nothing ambiguous, nothing left to chance. The iron is like that... I like that.

Freak
03-14-08, 3:37 pm
Brothers, we've all had our share of heartbreaks. The first breakup. The first time you don't win or come in first... Whatever. My good friend and former lifting partner is having problems with his kid. He's doing what he can to keep his son out of trouble, but with little success. He's a good man and he's done his best to be there for his boy, raise him the best he could. But sometimes, things just have a way of drifting apart, on their own... Like floes of ice. When that happens, there's nothing that can be done, nothing that brings things back. Yeah, inevitability is a bitch.

In my youth, I thought I fucking knew everything. I thought I was invincible (who here didn't?). I thought my folks didn't know shit, like what mattered, what was important. Then, I got into bodybuilding and my world view changed, my Weltanschauung. I started eating differently. I started training like a fucking madman. I left my old ("respectable" according to my folks) friends and hung out with the gym rats. Maybe I lifted to blow of some steam, to keep my anger in check. Maybe it kept me out of trouble. Shit, I know it did...

My folks didn't understand it, that much I know. They said I was changing, becoming a stranger. The son they knew, they were losing and they were desperate. As a youth, you don't see that desperation. Shit, you shouldn't have to. But that's the desperation that only comes from hindsight, not fucking foresight. They told me I was breaking their hearts. Older, a little wiser, you wanna know what? I wasn't breaking their hearts. I was breaking mine...

The iron may be the most important thing in your life. It may give your life meaning. But the iron is never stronger, or weightier, than the bonds that keep us connected to those we love. Distance has a way of putting the things that are important to us on ice. Close the gap. Defy inevitability.

D-Bomb
03-14-08, 7:42 pm
hell, i've been missing out, love the entries brother.

BrotherInArms
03-17-08, 1:41 pm
Freak: FREAKin' great. Keep up the good work.

jonnydunz
03-18-08, 10:46 pm
great message and very direct in your statements. i have to say that i agree with everything that you have said. one thing that i did when i was younger was that i did listen to my dad. i did not see what was the point of doing everything my way when all i did was screw it up anyway. hindsight is always 20/20 for all of us, yet very few will admit to anyone that they have blown a many of opportunities. i have had my share and i wish i could do alot of thing over. it's always sad to hear of the struggles between parent and child. i know that i have poured out my heart and my thoughts to my son, but i also let him know that he will have to lay in the bed that he had made. he is going to learn the hard way unfortunately and so be it. he does not want to listen to me or his mother. he feels he knows whats best and he will see just like all of us have at one point or another. too bad that some don't want to admit they were wrong in not taking their parents advise, but hey you have to look at yourself in the mirror and deal with your own demons. the lifestyle has helped me to stay focused and strong. i have my goals in the lifestyle and i have my goals for my life as well. i will achieve them all one by one. i just hope that your lifting partner son, discovers that his dad loves him and cares about his well being. just like you said, you did not break your parents heart, but your own. keep up the great work my man and keep on doing things big in the gym as well as in your life.peace

Freak
03-21-08, 10:59 am
great message and very direct in your statements. i have to say that i agree with everything that you have said. one thing that i did when i was younger was that i did listen to my dad. i did not see what was the point of doing everything my way when all i did was screw it up anyway. hindsight is always 20/20 for all of us, yet very few will admit to anyone that they have blown a many of opportunities. i have had my share and i wish i could do alot of thing over. it's always sad to hear of the struggles between parent and child. i know that i have poured out my heart and my thoughts to my son, but i also let him know that he will have to lay in the bed that he had made. he is going to learn the hard way unfortunately and so be it. he does not want to listen to me or his mother. he feels he knows whats best and he will see just like all of us have at one point or another. too bad that some don't want to admit they were wrong in not taking their parents advise, but hey you have to look at yourself in the mirror and deal with your own demons. the lifestyle has helped me to stay focused and strong. i have my goals in the lifestyle and i have my goals for my life as well. i will achieve them all one by one. i just hope that your lifting partner son, discovers that his dad loves him and cares about his well being. just like you said, you did not break your parents heart, but your own. keep up the great work my man and keep on doing things big in the gym as well as in your life.peace

Each of us has got shoes to fill. Why? Because each of us has got a journey to undertake. Some wanna fill the shoes of those who came before... A father or a grandfather or an uncle. Some want shoes all to themselves. Thing is, your feet are gonna grow too large, or not big enough, and there's nothing you can do about that. So that when it comes time for your journey, you may end up with painful fucking blisters. Each boy must grow to become his own man. The journey is yours and yours alone. But see, that don't gotta mean you gotta strike your own path. Blazing your own trail is full of romanticism and recklessness. There's nothing wrong with following the path of those who came before, and there's nothing wrong with striking it on your own. Like I said before, my father and me, we don't always see eye to eye. But that don't mean I can walk his path, even for a little, to learn something about the man he is and the man I'm gonna be...

Freak
03-21-08, 1:02 pm
Looking forward to some warm weather. Freezing my fucking ass off. That is all.

jonnydunz
03-23-08, 10:39 pm
man you are too funny. i hope that it warms up where you are. it's not too bad down here in Miss. man take care of yourself and walk that path and you will indeed find out who you are and what kind of man your father was as well. i have walked my fathers path and i have discovered alot about myself. i did not know my grandfather too well, but from what my father told me about him, i guess i have discovered alot about him as well. take care again my man and see you at the top. peace.

Freak
03-24-08, 9:41 am
man you are too funny. i hope that it warms up where you are. it's not too bad down here in Miss. man take care of yourself and walk that path and you will indeed find out who you are and what kind of man your father was as well. i have walked my fathers path and i have discovered alot about myself. i did not know my grandfather too well, but from what my father told me about him, i guess i have discovered alot about him as well. take care again my man and see you at the top. peace.

Only a matter of time before the weather snaps, the ground thaws and it's time for spring. Now I can wax fucking poetic about the return of the glorious robin, the new buds on the trees and rebirth and all that crap, but fuck it. I've got a head cold and can't think straight.

The seasons are the same and the goal never changes.

Freak
04-07-08, 2:16 pm
Another day, another inch. Wish it was fucking literal, but you take what you can get. This is the name of the game--consistency and dedication. Rain or shine, you're in the gym busting your ass. Full or not, you're eating your meals and continuing the work at your table. If you're in this game, you're in it for the long haul.

The other day, I'm in the gym, and I see this guy. Yeah, I guess you could call him a "regular"... Now let me set the table here. Where I train, it's pretty straightforward. No fancy shit, no commercial gym. The regulars here come in and get their fucking business done. It ain't a contest and it ain't about appearances. It's what I like about the place.

So anyway, this guy comes like once a week. Maybe he trains at a commercial gym too, I don't fucking know. Anyway, every time he comes, you'd fucking swear he was a regular. But he ain't. He's a chameleon. He dresses the part but, if you asked me, it looks too thought out. He chugs a shake post-workout but...

Let's put it this way. You can churn milk until it becomes butter, but in the end, it's still fucking milk. Why you do this shit, why you dedicate your life to it--no one can know but you. But you can see it if you look closely. You can see it in someone's eyes. You see it in the way they hit the iron. You see it every time they're in the gym. You just gotta look deep, past the clothes, past the shaker bottle. You can't fucking miss it.

IRONADDICT45
06-04-08, 1:52 pm
Freak i am excited and honored to be a reader of your posts, we see eye to eye on many issues you discuss...you exemplify my (and many others hopefully) thoughts which i cant seem to put into such perfect words...i really appreciate your passion, dedication, and love for the ups, downs, inbetweens, tests, victories, defeats, bullshit etc that come with this lifestyle we embrace...THANKS FOR YOUR WRITINGS...i will continue to read and put into practice all we dream about with you man.

sazali samad
06-29-08, 9:58 pm
bodybuilding is way of life.not sport!
i just want to say that.becoz people at my place don't even get it what bodybuilding is.they think bodybuilding is just like soccer or tennis.u go play once a week then you can become expert on that sport.this sport is about trial n error just like somebody in this websites say.my friends always teasing me that i go gym but my body didn't grow so fast.what?they think when you lift today tomorrow you already become like iffb pro?bullshit.i hate that types of people.

Giant Killer
06-30-08, 10:15 am
Hope everything is going well for you bro!

houseofpain
06-30-08, 10:26 am
Damn, Freak. I've been missing out. I'll definitely be checking back. Love the posts, keep 'em coming

johnny7
12-03-08, 2:52 pm
Winters suck... The short days. The cold. Depending on where you are, the frozen muck and other shit. The Midwest is getting hammered by snow. As a kid without any responsibilities, snow means school's closed, right? It means sleds, snowmen and happy fucking times. But anyone who's ever had to shovel snow, walk miles through snow, push a car stuck in snow at one time or another knows the beauty belies the work. Maybe when you look out your window, you see snow and maybe you're thinking to yourself, "Nah, not today. Shit's too cold." This is how it begins--how you get on that slippery, icy slope that takes you right to the bottom and leaves you wondering how the fuck you ever got there. So the next time you tell yourself you're gonna take the day off on account of the snow or anything else for that matter, think about the footprints you will leave in the pristine snow, the ones leading to your gym. Look upon them as words you'll imprint on the blank page of your training log. When you're done, let that written page be a record of the fact that you busted your ass in the gym today and didn't spend it asleep under the warm covers.

I love the winter. What's better than going to class and then knowing there is nothing else to do today but lift and eat. Ball wont start for another few months.

D-Bomb
12-03-08, 3:58 pm
Freak that was some fine writing and thoughts on the main page... i often only get chills down my spine to my calves from Machine's writings...but somehow your words rung so fucking true to me...

thanks.

Freak
12-04-08, 1:41 pm
Thanks brothers, for the kind words. You know, the funny thing about words is that they're light as a feather, but heavier than stone. Tell me what has more substance, the iron that you hoist or the words that hold meaning for you?

Freak
12-04-08, 2:50 pm
Sweat. It's the stuff your ma gave you shit for, telling you to put your gym clothes in the hamper. Man, I can still hear that voice in my head... It's the reason your girl tells you to get in the fucking shower before she comes near you. Yeah, under the bed or in the corner, dried sweat smells shitty. Dried sweat looks shitty. Walk around in public with a sweat stained shirt and may be treated like an outcast. If you smell bad too, then it's a done deal. Society's fixated on looking good, smelling good and fitting in. Clean, dry and not a mark on you.

But what is sweat, really? Sweat is a job well done. It's a mark of distinction and should be respected. Sweat is having put another solid session behind you. Let me tell you something brothers, when I'm in the gym, when I'm sweating--it's like fucking transcendence. The adrenaline is coursing through your body and the iron is humming. The sweat, it's electric. It's purifying. The sweat is fucking cleansing. It's like being in the city on a hot fucking day and feeling a sudden rainstorm wash all over you..... Washing away the grit, the cares, the worries away. So this one is for the legion of sweaters out there, the brotherhood of the stink and the outcasts. Be proud. Sweat long and sweat hard.

Freak
01-22-09, 2:03 pm
My fucking head feels like it's going to split. This winter is already too long. Still, the shit gotta be taken to the curb. Garbage doesn't take care of itself. Some days you just want to stick your head in a hole and shut your eyes. Know what I mean brothers?

C.Coronato
01-22-09, 2:34 pm
i know what you mean Freak. But that is what sets us apart from the rest.

Giant Killer
01-22-09, 2:38 pm
My fucking head feels like it's going to split. This winter is already too long. Still, the shit gotta be taken to the curb. Garbage doesn't take care of itself. Some days you just want to stick your head in a hole and shut your eyes. Know what I mean brothers?

Yeah I feel ya' Freak. Sometimes you just feel like a glass half empty, a beaten shell. The difference between a man and a mouse though, is handling your business with authority. Keep your head up bro.

Freak
01-22-09, 3:31 pm
Yeah I feel ya' Freak. Sometimes you just feel like a glass half empty, a beaten shell. The difference between a man and a mouse though, is handling your business with authority. Keep your head up bro.

Giant my man, I know the feeling. Shit, winter is flu and cold season, and I often find myself debating the merits of blasting it in the gym when I'm under the fucking weather. It all comes down to instinct and knowing when to stay and when to go, when to keep your ego in check and call it a day.

Freak
01-22-09, 3:32 pm
i know what you mean Freak. But that is what sets us apart from the rest.

That it is, Brother Treetrunklegs. What's your story?

Freak
01-22-09, 4:31 pm
When I was a little kid, the world was a whole lot bigger than it is today. The playground where I was victorious and beaten, where I scraped my knees and bloodied my nose, it wasn't 100' x 100'. Shit, it was an entire universe and the big boys on the lot were as large as kings. Yeah, I was a scrawny, skinny-assed runt, smaller than everyone else, who always got in the way. Still, when I had a problem, I dealt with it. Directly. Face to face. Fist to fist. Blood and spittle and bile. Size didn't matter. Which motherfucker could take the punishment longer? It was war of attrition.

When I was a little kid, the world was a whole lot bigger than it is today. Back when I was growing up, when you wanted to reach out, you either picked up the phone and dialed out numbers on a rotary dial. It fucking took forever, but there was something about holding that receiver and the the way the dial rolled back. And if you were like me, and couldn't afford long-distance calls, you wrote letters out by hand or typed 'em out. it fucking took forever, but you put a piece of you into every letter. It was personal. It was done by hand. It wasn't electronic. It wasn't instantaneous, supersonic communication over thousands of miles in a millisecond. It was something you could hold and turn over and read.

When I was a little kid, the world was a whole lot bigger than it is today. Older and hopefully a little wiser, I know in many ways it's smaller today. But in other important ways too, it's fucking larger. You see, every time I walk into the gym, I understand that the kind of work that goes on there transcends those four walls, the small floorplan of that building. Though the iron is in my hands, in that moment of time, though the weight strains my body, lifting it takes me outside of myself. Shit, this is why I must love the iron. It's fucking tactile. It's in your face. It's real. Like those schoolyard kids. Like that phone. Like the typewriter or the pen I used to write with. The iron, it's personal. I should have realized that all along.

C.Coronato
01-26-09, 11:16 am
check my journey brotha. Thats my story. I understand the craziness the world brings people like us. When i was walking out of my last compettion, with some of the old big dudes from my gym, we see a guy sitting on the curb. He had one of those fancy rancing bikes and he had on a full spandex suit. The ones that make your nuts look like vienna sausages getting crushed. The ones that if you dive into a pool youll slip through the stream and not make a splash. But ill never forget what one of the guys said. To me that guy looks like a freak, and we feel normal, but to him, we are the freaks, and he is normal. That thought stuck in my head for a long time. I like being looked at as an outsider. It makes me feel like im part of something that the normal shmo from the office isnt. Keep them coming brotha. I like your words your laying down.

rickkain
01-27-09, 10:27 am
this is good shit. subscribed.

rickkain
01-27-09, 10:33 am
"Your heart never dies, but your body does"

Freak
01-30-09, 4:21 pm
this is good shit. subscribed.

Thanks brother, but it's just words. Ultimately, from words must spring action. Thought's partner in crime is doing. If my words lead to positive reaction, a measurable action on your part, in the gym or elsewhere, then I will feel as though I have succeeded in some small measure.

Feel The Power
01-30-09, 7:20 pm
very inspiring words.. i am subbed as well..

wedge
01-31-09, 12:54 am
Freak....love your writing and outlook on life. Stumbled across this thread and read through all the pages. Keep it up. I'll definitely be back.

Stovall
02-02-09, 8:11 am
Freak, I was riding with my boss to our job site last night, its about a 4 hr drive, and I came across this thread. I couldn't stop reading until I finished the last page. Great stuff. My boss tried to read some but said it was all just rambling insane crap.........insane? I guess so. You have to be in a mindset that isn't sane to continue in this sport. You can't practice this sport, you live it.

Great stuff man. I'm here for the long run.

SquatTilUPuke77
02-04-09, 7:32 am
tired in school i knew it was leg day i knew i had to lift with form and intensity. but true to my word my ass was dragging. but when i hit that gym the atmosphere the homeliness of it all is invigorating. immediately your awake and you find yourself in the hole with the iron digging into your skin. wake up animal your set is up!


you hit that right on the dime bro! ive been looking for a way to explain every leg day and you fiilled my brain perfectly!

Freak
02-10-09, 12:47 pm
The greatest good. Shit, as a kid, I've done many things I regret. Headstrong and bullheaded like some fat flathead on a line, I would plow ahead when I should have been more circumspect. I've lost teeth but I've loosed many more. I've disappointed many and inspired only a precious few. I too often indulged when I should have been reserved. Women, drink, food. The usual cast of suspects. Round and round until I felt like I was on a fucking carousel spinning faster and faster, out of control. Fuck, life will make you dizzy if you let it. And if you're not careful, it will pass you by in a blur. These are the follies of inexperience and youth. We often think we're going somewhere only to find out that we were just going in circles. Anyone know what I mean? To break out, one needs to learn how to balance restraint and its nemesis indulgence. When I eventually developed a taste for books and for iron, my eyes were opened to two different sensations. While one was sweet and the other bitter, both lead me to this idea of summum bonum, the greatest good. I've sought and achieved a small measure of harmony and balance through good sense and moderation, both within the gym and without. What makes the iron so beautiful, so useful, so transcendent is that the lessons we learn in the gym are the same lessons we can apply to good, clean living. The book is blank for each of us. We have to fill those pages in with the lessons ourselves.

ghost
02-10-09, 6:00 pm
Freak, you are a man of many talents. great post brother.

C.Coronato
02-11-09, 10:23 am
Deep words brother.

Freak
02-11-09, 4:14 pm
Freak, you are a man of many talents. great post brother.

When it comes to talent, there are two crimes as I see it. Squandering it and
overindulging in it. Once again, our friend Epicurus is on the fucking money.

Freak
02-11-09, 4:15 pm
Freak, I was riding with my boss to our job site last night, its about a 4 hr drive, and I came across this thread. I couldn't stop reading until I finished the last page. Great stuff. My boss tried to read some but said it was all just rambling insane crap.........insane? I guess so. You have to be in a mindset that isn't sane to continue in this sport. You can't practice this sport, you live it.

Great stuff man. I'm here for the long run.

Rambling. Insane. I've been called worse. Welcome to the mind of Freak.

Freak
02-11-09, 4:39 pm
I am a man of modest means and what I need I work for. From an early age, I learned to depend on myself and be independent. So it's not easy letting go. Letting go of the control and the independence. I guess for many of us, the iron represents the same thing. Control and mastery. It must be hardwired into that deepest, reptilian part of my fucking brain. Anyway, a few months ago, my girl left a little potted plant in my place, near a window that got some light on good days. I didn't give two shits about it and didn't lift a finger to take care of it. Truth is, I saw that plant a fucking nuisance, an encroachment by one with more feminine wiles on my otherwise spare space. Yet while I tolerated it, like I said, I wasn't going to do anything about that damn plant. Every now and then, when the soil got too dry, she'd water that thing. Shit, she even talked to it. I didn't get that then, and I don't get it now. For the longest time, I ignored it but today, in the sunlight I saw it. It was green and it had grown. That little fucker grew. Despite my inaction and apathy, that little weed is growing. There's something to be said about that plant and the girl who put it there. When I figure out what that is, I'm going to say it.

C.Coronato
02-11-09, 4:52 pm
Love the words brotha. Your very inspiring.

Blake2134
02-11-09, 5:05 pm
A visionary, a ripened soul, a predetermined prophet of the iron warriors, and a brother. Man I don't even know you, let alone your real name. But I must say I felt compelled to express myself on here because I felt a strong certainty of connection with a calm face. It's a fucked up world filled with fucked up people. My angry days usually consist of every fuckin day. Reading your diary feels like opening up what you wanted for Christmas when you were a kid. So much of this shit is feels like it's been removed from my daily burdens carries on my back and put in plain sight for all of us to read; a common thought, and feeling. I hate all these fuckin assholes who we call "normies." They say we're nothing but gym rats, or meatheads. Fuck them brothers...I wish I could have everyone in the world read this and some of the other articles thrown down on here. Just to show them the mind behind the muscle. Just to show them that we are above their expectations. Just to show them that we have a fuckin mind.

gtice
02-11-09, 8:47 pm
Can't say how much this sounds like my previous life. But that was all just one hell of a great learning experince. Sometimes we are able to learn from our "carousel" and other times the music just stops and then hits a tragic note.
" Round and round until I felt like I was on a fucking carousel spinning faster and faster, out of control. Fuck, life will make you dizzy if you let it. And if you're not careful, it will pass you by in a blur. These are the follies of inexperience and youth. We often think we're going somewhere only to find out that we were just going in circles. Anyone know what I mean? To break out, one needs to learn how to balance restraint and its nemesis indulgence. "
AS you also stated that reading and iron changed your ways. What greater accomplishment can you relish in than gaining the greatest riches in the land
= knowledge and your own physical raw power, I applaud you.

Blake2134
02-16-09, 8:53 pm
Can't say how much this sounds like my previous life. But that was all just one hell of a great learning experince. Sometimes we are able to learn from our "carousel" and other times the music just stops and then hits a tragic note.
" Round and round until I felt like I was on a fucking carousel spinning faster and faster, out of control. Fuck, life will make you dizzy if you let it. And if you're not careful, it will pass you by in a blur. These are the follies of inexperience and youth. We often think we're going somewhere only to find out that we were just going in circles. Anyone know what I mean? To break out, one needs to learn how to balance restraint and its nemesis indulgence. "
AS you also stated that reading and iron changed your ways. What greater accomplishment can you relish in than gaining the greatest riches in the land
= knowledge and your own physical raw power, I applaud you.

Nice words brother! Lovin all these open minds in here! Stay true to yourself

Freak
02-24-09, 4:06 pm
A visionary, a ripened soul, a predetermined prophet of the iron warriors, and a brother. Man I don't even know you, let alone your real name. But I must say I felt compelled to express myself on here because I felt a strong certainty of connection with a calm face. It's a fucked up world filled with fucked up people. My angry days usually consist of every fuckin day. Reading your diary feels like opening up what you wanted for Christmas when you were a kid. So much of this shit is feels like it's been removed from my daily burdens carries on my back and put in plain sight for all of us to read; a common thought, and feeling. I hate all these fuckin assholes who we call "normies." They say we're nothing but gym rats, or meatheads. Fuck them brothers...I wish I could have everyone in the world read this and some of the other articles thrown down on here. Just to show them the mind behind the muscle. Just to show them that we are above their expectations. Just to show them that we have a fuckin mind.


Love the words brotha. Your very inspiring.

Thanks brothers. The mind is the most powerful muscle we have and words are the vehicle by which we flex that muscle.

Freak
02-24-09, 4:45 pm
It is a word to describe the unusual. It's an oddity, as in one who appears in a fucking circus sideshow. A deviate. Abnormal.

It is a word, used to single out the aberrant individual who defies stereotype or easy categorization. It's a rationalized way of making people feel safer, more in control of the frightening world that's out there. That world is filled with boogeymen, monsters and nightmares. These things are hard to classify. The word is there to help them.

The word is used to push the individual out, to the edges of rational society, normal life. Into the darkness and away from the light. Normalcy, then, resides in the center. In the light. The masses want safety. They believe there's safety in numbers.

The word is a fucking letter pinned to the shirt, a blazing red letter "F" that marks the disgraced, the dissolute, the incorrigible.

The word is a name and a name has power. My father taught me that the strength of the word and that the measure of a man could be taken by his choice of them.

I will take back that word, rip it from their fucking hands. I will give it the respect and the prominence that it deserves. I will wear that letter proudly on my chest and walk out of the dark and demand respect. Give me a teaspoon of insanity over a bathful of reason. We will not be marginalized. Where we walk, the center will crumble. The masses will flee. And we will shout that last meaning of the word and live this life everyday. We are freaks and we are the obsessed.

Wolf_Soldier
02-25-09, 11:02 pm
So sometimes you think life is difficult, tough, and down right unbearable at times. Let me remind you that just like there's always someone bigger, there's always a life that's tougher. People out there make excuses about not getting big or fit on external elements. No, that's not it. Trust me, it's all you. Article throws it out there perfectly. What I'm trying to say is, if I can do it, you can do it. I'm in the United States Navy, stationed on a small ass Destroyer in a classified location. Oustide, is nothing but water for miles. Inside, is even less. No resturants, no stores, no space, no resources and small ass food line with the stereotypical slop food you hear about in the movies. The gym is small enough for me to throw a 100 lb dumbell from one wall to the other. I have contact with the outside world once a night, if I'm lucky. I work 14 hour shifts all 7 days of the week (yes, 14/7, so quit complaining about your 'tough-ass' 8 hour shifts), plus the time I have to spend doing other shipboard activities. The rest is up to me. Most sleep it off, not me. I spend what time I have in the gym and scrounging up any tasteless meat and rice they might have. Trust me, diet is impossible here, but I make it happen. I can't just go to the store and buy the shit I need, I have to scavenger it like some Vulture. It's the Animal in me that keeps me alive. Not only that, but working the night shift makes it all the much harder to hit the meals during the day. Then, I hit this 'gym' that they have set up for 2 hours at the end of my day. After tearing my self apart, set after set, I pick myself up and see how much more I can take. I make the physical stress on my body twice as bad as on the mind. The iron and I have our war. Damn, it's tough, I'll never break this iron. I decide I'm going to return the favor, I'll never break on it either. We're in it together.

So it's funny. One day, after this workout, my boy Todd comes up to me. He's the closest thing I have to a brother on the ship. He says to me, "You're the toughest Soldier I know, I don't ever have to worry about you", proud at my resistance to ever giving up. "No", I chuckle. "You're a Soldier, a great one, probably the best I know... but me... I'm just another Animal in the Pak."

Just to put it out, I didn't come here to bitch about a tough life, I knew what I was doing when I signed my life to country. I just want you to know that if I can do it, you can do it. I might not be the biggest guy on the ship, but it's for damn certain I have more heart that the rest all put together. One man I know, Kenny, from back home... Remember how I told you life could always be worse? Yeah, he's dying in the hospital from cancer and refuses to ever give up. Makes my life fell like a fucking cake walk.

Freak, you're a hero and truly inspriational as well. Thankyou for all that you've taught me. I've run along side the pack for quite some time now and I felt as if it was finally time for me to jump head first and never look back.

Dockins
02-26-09, 9:02 am
It is a word to describe the unusual. It's an oddity, as in one who appears in a fucking circus sideshow. A deviate. Abnormal.

It is a word, used to single out the aberrant individual who defies stereotype or easy categorization. It's a rationalized way of making people feel safer, more in control of the frightening world that's out there. That world is filled with boogeymen, monsters and nightmares. These things are hard to classify. The word is there to help them.

The word is used to push the individual out, to the edges of rational society, normal life. Into the darkness and away from the light. Normalcy, then, resides in the center. In the light. The masses want safety. They believe there's safety in numbers.

The word is a fucking letter pinned to the shirt, a blazing red letter "F" that marks the disgraced, the dissolute, the incorrigible.

The word is a name and a name has power. My father taught me that the strength of the word and that the measure of a man could be taken by his choice of them.

I will take back that word, rip it from their fucking hands. I will give it the respect and the prominence that it deserves. I will wear that letter proudly on my chest and walk out of the dark and demand respect. Give me a teaspoon of insanity over a bathful of reason. We will not be marginalized. Where we walk, the center will crumble. The masses will flee. And we will shout that last meaning of the word and live this life everyday. We are freaks and we are the obsessed.



just came across your thread. subb'd immediately. i want to thank you for taking time out of your day to inspire this great community's actions, with your words. stay strong, stay long. do work.

thanks again brother.

docks

Firedrake
03-03-09, 1:23 pm
Freak -- I know how you feel about the places we grew up with. My first gym is gone, my grandmother's house is gone, and all I have is the memories of the things that made me who I am. I remember the first time I saw Superman and wanted to look like that. I remember where I first saw Dave Draper on the cover of "All-American Athlete" in 1966, and just stared.

Your comment about the "F" word (and I'm assuming you mean freak) hit home to me recently, because, while every step of progress I make back from my back surgery only makes me want more, all my other friends are telling me "stop", "don't hurt yourself", "you're middle aged; what do you think you're doing?!?!" I realized Sunday, while involved in an medieval recreation organization I've been in for 36 years, that I'd had more fun throwing the weights around at the ABC the day before, got more out of it, and had more in common with the guys . . and girl I'd worked out with than I did with these people I'd known for so long.

When did that happen? I realized they didn't want to hear about the things that are making me smile each day, and the joy I find in each new bit of progress or even that I enjoy the soreness that comes 'round, because it signifies I'm growing. I'm still interested in other things that I've done forever, but the iron is giving me more joy, and the crew here on the Forvm is giving me more emotional support than any other set of people in my life.

I've been reluctant to accept the label "bodybuilder" for myself, because I still don't quite look like what I think a bodybuilder should look like. On the other hand, I can no longer deny that it's a driving force in my life. At 54, most of my friends are getting saggy, fat, diabetic, hypertensive, asthmatic and old, and that's something I refuse to accept. I guess it's true. I'm a bodybuilder. Even my ex-wife has sat up and taken notice -- go figure.



Wolf Soldier: Thank you for your sacrifice and dedication, both to the nation, and the iron. I was in the Army, but on a base so small the weight room consisted of one flat bench, a worn Universal machine, and a lot of rusting iron. It was enough, if you got creative. Keep going, my brother.

boondocker
03-03-09, 4:10 pm
thanks to everyone for all of the inpirational words, this threads got me hooked.

Freak
07-20-09, 11:12 am
Meathead. Sometimes it's just a "meathead", other times it's "nothing but a meathead". When the shit hits the fan, maybe it's "fucking meathead". Seems like not a week goes by where I don't hear that word being spoken or whispered, often directed at me or those of my kind, often said under one's breath or at a distance. I can hear the fear or the ridicule in the voices. Yeah, I can I hear you mutherfuckers. A time ago, that word would've gone straight to my head, hot like whiskey, and I would've mixed it up right then and there. Since when did the word become synonymous with those of us who lift and respect the iron? Our passion, our dedication and our reverence has so clearly been misinterpreted and misunderstood. How has the word come to signify he who is "stupid"? Brothers, how did we let those who do not understand us create this word and label us? These days, I don't take affront with those who call me a meathead. No, I don't have time for that. I'm not going to address this matter with fists but with words. I will show them the true meaning of "meathead". In so doing, I will show them how emotions can be mastered by the intellect, how reason can temper anger. The next time you hear that word being floated your way, remind yourself that you are a meathead and proud of it. Maybe you're sirloin. Maybe eye round or chuck. Think of me as ground beef, 95% lean. Different cuts of meat in ground like my different ideas and perspectives. Regardless of who we are, we are meatheads so be proud. Be fucking proud.

BigDubbDiesel
07-20-09, 11:31 am
Meathead. Sometimes it's just a "meathead", other times it's "nothing but a meathead". When the shit hits the fan, maybe it's "fucking meathead". Seems like not a week goes by where I don't hear that word being spoken or whispered, often directed at me or those of my kind, often said under one's breath or at a distance. I can hear the fear or the ridicule in the voices. Yeah, I can I hear you mutherfuckers. A time ago, that word would've gone straight to my head, hot like whiskey, and I would've mixed it up right then and there. Since when did the word become synonymous with those of us who lift and respect the iron? Our passion, our dedication and our reverence has so clearly been misinterpreted and misunderstood. How has the word come to signify he who is "stupid"? Brothers, how did we let those who do not understand us create this word and label us? These days, I don't take affront with those who call me a meathead. No, I don't have time for that. I'm not going to address this matter with fists but with words. I will show them the true meaning of "meathead". In so doing, I will show them how emotions can be mastered by the intellect, how reason can temper anger. The next time you hear that word being floated your way, remind yourself that you are a meathead and proud of it. Maybe you're sirloin. Maybe eye round or chuck. Think of me as ground beef, 95% lean. Different cuts of meat in ground like my different ideas and perspectives. Regardless of who we are, we are meatheads so be proud. Be fucking proud.

well put, some people will never understand this lifestyle...shit im gettin hungry thinkin about cuts of steak haha

haydenator2005
09-09-09, 10:15 pm
hello fellow meatheads, just started lifting again after a year and half and this thread caused me to subscribe and got me motivated like nothing else lets keep it going if we can. hate to think i joined to late, let me know where the up to date talk is going on i've got some shit to share and shit to learn. lata brothas

lets throw some weights around

Freak
11-05-09, 2:12 pm
hello fellow meatheads, just started lifting again after a year and half and this thread caused me to subscribe and got me motivated like nothing else lets keep it going if we can. hate to think i joined to late, let me know where the up to date talk is going on i've got some shit to share and shit to learn. lata brothas

lets throw some weights around

You ain't late. You're just in time. Anytime you think life has past you by, it has. Whenever you think it's too late, you're past your prime. The day begins today. Now. What the fuck you gonna do? And tomorrow too?

Freak
11-05-09, 2:27 pm
We all got our addictions, our secret vices... Maybe we keep ‘em hidden, out of fear or shame. By most accounts, these addictions are often seen as weaknesses, as in character flaws… Something that implies poor judgment or bad character. “If he only had stronger morals,” that’s what others think.

Shit, we all need reality checks, and sometimes, there’s nothing better than swinging wide the doors and letting the light in… No, not to appease others and to improve our moral fibers, but to shine the light on the darkest corners of our psyches so that we may better understand who we are and why we are here.

Why are we here? And what is addiction? To me, addiction is escape. Deep down, addiction is our way of telling society, with all its rules and expectations, to go fuck itself. Addiction is imprinted into our DNA and it reflects our longing to just let go, let it all hang out. Addiction is our desire to stand outside of society, outside of ourselves, outside mundane limitations. When you do, you can tap into a greater consciousness.

Yeah, addiction is our way of accessing the wild, dark, primitive places that are uncharted and unknown. It is the heart of darkness, brothers. Addiction means being free to do what we please, when we damn well please. It is the release of control, the desire to be delivered from the yoke of restraint.

Now some say courage is rejecting addiction and that we are weak because we are addicted. I say courage is what you need when you plunge headlong into fearful, strange depths, without thought and care. Being what we are, living out what we are, that is what we are destined to do.

I am an addict and I am proud of it. My addiction, my loyalty, is to the iron. If I have one weakness, it is for the way the iron feels on back--a yoke around my shoulders, an albatross around my neck. I have no shame in this. Nor should you, brothers. To me, lifting can lift me out of this world, can take me out of my body and raise my consciousness to a new level.

We are of a select breed. We are freaks. So do not be afraid to step off the path. This is the way out, our escape. Life is hard for those who don’t take the easy way out. This is the way. Our way. Be courageous and do not fear the unknown. Sometimes you have to lose yourself before you can find anything.

DK
11-06-09, 2:24 am
Brother, you preach it the way it needs to be preached, without facades, sugary coatings, and with the perception of a wise man. Your words breathe life into everybody who reads any of these posts. I am anxious to hear more of your insight and words that provide unyielding inspiration to all. I am subscribed

Freak
11-06-09, 9:08 am
There used to be this little shop on the corner. It was not unlike one of those places found on the corners of neighborhoods all across this great country of ours. It was the local hangout for kids. It was the place to stop by and see what was going on for the grownups. You could get a loaf of bread, pick up the news or get some local gossip, be it juicy or otherwise. It was, in many ways, the center of the neighborhood and the focal point of my young life. Many afternoons, rain or shine, after school or on the weekends, I’d drop in with any spare change I had and spent it on candy and pop, reading comic books for hours at a time. It was my first taste of heroic physiques, as I'm sure it was for many here. Often, my mother would come in here looking for me, bringing me home for supper or bed or whatever. Good times.

Let me tell you, that change didn’t come easily as I’d like. I had to earn it. I'd have to do chores around the house and you could say that I didn’t earn much as I’d prefer to take shortcuts. You know, like sweeping the dust under the proverbial carpet. Yeah, I really tried that. Yeah, it didn’t work. I guess I wanted to spend my free time making trouble outside, not cleaning it up inside. What kid my age didn't? But my mother, she always said that if I was going to do something, I should do it right or not do it at all. She and my father were of like mind on this. Now I was always tempted to walk away from that broom, that dusty room, but I knew better. Her power over the household was different than my father's, but it was a real, palpable power nonetheless. Shit, though she was small in stature and had a sweet face, she was a genuine force to be reckoned with. Her general disposition belied a strong fist and even my father respected that.

Anyway, I went back a few months ago and the building had been boarded up and condemned. They were going to dig a big fucking hole and bulldoze that building right into it. I guess this is what passes for “urban renewal” these days. What a shame. I heard a new convenience store is going to take it's place with bright lights and cold drinks and maybe one of those fancy fucking machines where the hot dog turns on those greasy rollers. What a fucking shame. There’s history in that old place, real memories that would be swept away. But this is happening all over the place. In this day and age, the same fate has befallen many iron asylums. Though ramshackle and decrepit, many of these old school gyms were vibrant and full of life. They were the center of the universe, the bright, life-giving sun for fellas like me, like us. Obviously, for others, they were a blight, a fucking black hole.

I still remember stories, lore, from some of the gyms from my past. All the stupid shit we did when we were young, trying to lift more than we should, inventing new exercises that didn't make any fucking sense in retrospect, the stunts we pulled on the other members, talking it up with the ladies whenever there was one. We all have experiences. If the walls gyms could talk, they'd all have stories to tell. Through all this, these were the gyms I had trained in. Puked in. Bled in. And even wept in. These are gyms where I’ve spent good times, made history, friends, and memories. The gym is home. No, the gym is more like heimat. Without it, there would be a hole in my life.

The gym. My home. That shop. These are all in the past and good times don't come as often or as easily as they once did. Still, many of life's important lessons I've learned spending time in those brick and concrete and wood edifices and others just like it. I wouldn't have it any other way. I've learned the value of work, applying effort and dedication and honesty. I've learned that a shortcut only makes the run, that road, much longer. I've learned to value the downtime and relax, not take things too seriously. I've come to understand the importance of human contact. These are important lessons in the life inside and outside of the gym. Most of all, I've learned that digging a hole is fucking easy. It's what we choose to do with that hole that defines us as men.

Beach91
11-06-09, 11:02 am
Hey Freak,

I just spent the last day and a half reading through your entire log of entries and want to say Thank you, you speak with or write in this case, with the heart and soul of a warrior poet, your words ring true and the ideas/messages you present within your writings are valuable for everyone on this Forvm, as we all can not only relate to them but learn from them.


Your words are weapons
thank you

mritter3
11-11-09, 8:43 am
yeah man, ive been catching up on this thread, words of wisdom, solid posts.

Beowulf
02-26-10, 10:23 am
Freak, updates?

Kain81
05-12-10, 1:44 pm
read the Life is a Freakshow from day one on up to present in one sitting. i kid you not.


better late than never. i'm in.

Universal Rep
05-14-10, 10:46 am
Freak, updates?

Freak has been busy... I'll see if he's around.

Vinny G
06-19-12, 4:31 pm
I thought you freaks might like this training story -

Last week im training legs, just got done with back to back on the leg ext and front squats....now i'm on my 3rd set of walking lunges.

I have 80's in each hand, and as I start the set, some goofball eating an apple just stands right along to my left as I do each rep....like he was waiting to walk around me.

now i'm totaly distracted, and yell...YOUR FUCKING ME UP...MOVE -
HE starts to laugh as he walks around me, and starts talking to a trainer and pointing to me.....

Im still holding the dumbells and ask whats so funny.....he says calm down big boy, just trying to move around you....so i drop the dumbells and grap his apple, and tell him he can have it back when he puts my dumbells back on the rack.....he got his apple back....LOL

i see this guy all the time now...he trains hard, and busts his ass.

Universal Rep
06-21-12, 9:32 am
i see this guy all the time now...he trains hard, and busts his ass.

Does this fella have a name? Haha.