xMATT182x
01-24-09, 3:36 am
It took a long ass time for it to finally sink into my head that I and I alone was in control of my life and exactly what I wanted to do with it. For far too long I let my "friends" and other outside forces govern and dictate how I lived my life and what I thought of myself. I'm not sure exactly when it happened but it did. I just got fed up with that life and said fuck this. I knew I was better and stronger then to let other people mold me and shape me the way they saw fit. I know right now this sounds like genuin bitching and whining and that it is not my intention. For me it represented a new beginning, a new level of understanding of how the world functioned and how I was severely caught up in it. It was like a suffocation and a blanket of self-doubt that always followed me. Just out of reach but within plain sight.
I never understood the whole perspective of losing yourself until you finally step outside and take a good look in. I saw myself beaten down, doubted and as if people wanted to see me fail. I unsterstand now that people fear things they do not understand. People fear others that are strong, that are defiant and those that know they have a bigger plan in life. My perspective on issues and daily bullshit is constantly becoming more educated and my will is getting stronger by the day. I will become bigger, I will become stronger and my goals and expectations of myself will never be allowed to be minimized or decreased. This is my life and my journey. The iron is that which brings me satisfaction and fuels my desire for greater things. It drives me and pushes me to become better and to always work up and never get broken down. All you guys on this forum and everyone who finds sanctuary is Animal is family to me. We see our futures and we strive towards them. We aren't sittin on our couches, letting the world pass us by. I'll welcome the weird looks and eyes I get for carrying around a cooler full of food and a gallon of water. I'll smile ripping into my packs everyday and knowing I take a shit ton of pills. We're forging something greater, through busting our asses and making sacrifice. Thats what it's all about cause at the end of the day when your lookin in the mirror, that person is looking back at you knowing your making the most of your life. I'm young I know and my views in this world will be in constant modification and transition. I do know for a fact though that what is in your heart can never be taken away. I'll fight and strive til the bitter end.
I never understood the whole perspective of losing yourself until you finally step outside and take a good look in. I saw myself beaten down, doubted and as if people wanted to see me fail. I unsterstand now that people fear things they do not understand. People fear others that are strong, that are defiant and those that know they have a bigger plan in life. My perspective on issues and daily bullshit is constantly becoming more educated and my will is getting stronger by the day. I will become bigger, I will become stronger and my goals and expectations of myself will never be allowed to be minimized or decreased. This is my life and my journey. The iron is that which brings me satisfaction and fuels my desire for greater things. It drives me and pushes me to become better and to always work up and never get broken down. All you guys on this forum and everyone who finds sanctuary is Animal is family to me. We see our futures and we strive towards them. We aren't sittin on our couches, letting the world pass us by. I'll welcome the weird looks and eyes I get for carrying around a cooler full of food and a gallon of water. I'll smile ripping into my packs everyday and knowing I take a shit ton of pills. We're forging something greater, through busting our asses and making sacrifice. Thats what it's all about cause at the end of the day when your lookin in the mirror, that person is looking back at you knowing your making the most of your life. I'm young I know and my views in this world will be in constant modification and transition. I do know for a fact though that what is in your heart can never be taken away. I'll fight and strive til the bitter end.