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Crash
03-02-09, 4:59 am
I used to work in the construction industry. I installed Granite Countertops. Let me tell you, that was a fucking delicate, back breaking business. See, most types of Granite are very dense, but have a low fracture point. This means, that if you didn’t have a solid foundation to set it on; you’d end up with two-thousand dollars worth of gravel for your fish tank. Last year, due to circumstances, I was given to opportunity to strengthen and solidify my own Foundation.

I have been debating whether or not to do this for a long time. It has always been my belief that the greatest knowledge that a man can wield, is knowing when the time is right. Well brothers, the time is right now.

Sixteen Weeks. One hundred twenty one days, Two thousand nine hundred and four hours, till the zero hour. And then we will know where we stand. Succeed or Fail, Shine or Rust, Victory or Defeat. Now we will find out whether we can put those Haters, the Naysayers, and the Doubters in their place. Or, whether it was simply just Deluded Visions of Hollow Dreams.

I have been testing the Foundation this past week; cleaning up my diet, light cardio at 3 am, a little more intensity during my workout. Yeah Brothers, we are running on all eight cylinders. Now is the time to get in, sit down, strap in, shut the fuck up, and hang on. It’s time to find that Thin Red Line.

Let’s Ride.

...Testing the Foundation - Countdown to Zero... (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/PICT0044.jpg)

machineman
03-02-09, 6:21 am
got my seatbelt fastened, brother.....on this ride with ya!!

KYFMS
03-02-09, 8:08 am
good luck bro, remember on those early morning cardio sessions and midway through those workouts, There's no time to be tired. strap up and get those hands dirty

Crash
03-09-09, 8:16 am
Players in this Game come from every walk of life. Blue Collar, White Collar, Rich or Poor; every man is equal when they are under the bar. I am as blue collar as they come brothers. I wear them at both my jobs. I hate that fucking color.

Dues? Yeah brothers, I am paying them every day. I spent a lot of my time in my younger years fucking up. Now four ex-wives and six kids later, the bill has come due. What are you going to do? Bitch, moan? Fuck that. Cowboy the Fuck up and let’s dance. It has been my observation that most people give up way to easy. They lament about what could have been, what should have been, what they didn’t get, or what they deserve. Again, Fuck that.

Machine said “Don’t let circumstances dictate that you can’t become a fucking rampaging beast.” I’d like to take that a step farther and say that Destiny is Fate taken by Force. So lean in, hang on, and drive it til the motherfucking wheels fall off, then bolt those son of a bitches back on and drop the hammer again.

...Strength and Honor...

...T Minus 15 and Counting (Background Check)... (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/PICT0044.jpg)

BB
03-12-09, 3:16 am
best of luck to you bro, remember your never alone on this journey

Crash
03-16-09, 8:19 am
I am not the biggest guy at my gym: at least not yet. Nor am I the weakest: not by a long shot. No, I am the man stuck in the middle. I know what they say about the lead sled dog having the best view, but these guys; they give me motivation and inspiration. I mean one guy benches 315 on the incline while singing. How fucked up is that? And the young guns; unsure of themselves, experimenting, finding their place in our world. They keep me grounded.

These guys; they don’t know it, but they challenge me everyday. For the day I slack a workout miss a cardio session, fall off my diet, some move father away, the others are a step closer nipping at my heels. So, for now I will remain the Man in the Middle. Watching, Waiting, and Hungry.


...Strength and Honor...

T Minus 14 and Counting...(The Man in the Middle) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/Pict0002.jpg)

machineman
03-16-09, 8:36 am
I am not the biggest guy at my gym: at least not yet. Nor am I the weakest: not by a long shot. No, I am the man stuck in the middle. I know what they say about the lead sled dog having the best view, but these guys; they give me motivation and inspiration. I mean one guy benches 315 on the incline while singing. How fucked up is that? And the young guns; unsure of themselves, experimenting, finding their place in our world. They keep me grounded.

These guys; they don’t know it, but they challenge me everyday. For the day I slack a workout miss a cardio session, fall off my diet, some move father away, the others are a step closer nipping at my heels. So, for now I will remain the Man in the Middle. Watching, Waiting, and Hungry.


...Strength and Honor...

T Minus 14 and Counting...(The Man in the Middle) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/Pict0002.jpg)

great post, Crash....keep on pushing it, brother!

Thrawn
03-16-09, 8:50 am
Intrigued by your posts. Lets see what you got, brother! I am aboard for the ride.

Crash
03-23-09, 9:49 am
...I am a KISS kind of guy...The less thought I have to put into things, the more I can devote my attention to something else...That being said, in the pyramid of Weight Training...I believe that Diet is the Base...For without the right kind of diet, it doesn't matter how hard you work out, what kind of shit you are on, or how much you rest...Shit in equals shit out...Therefore I am very careful in what I decide to stuff my face with...However, it is my belief that all to often people tend to overanalyze what they can and cannot eat...I mean seriously, if your worried about your meals being free range, all organic, killed humanely etc. etc. etc...You are putting way to much thought into it...Personally,I am on a budget and a tight one at that...Tuna, Ground Turkey and Eggs are the staple of my cutting diet...When I am allowed carbs, I go for Whole Wheat Pasta, Rice Cakes (For convience sake), and mixed vegatables out of a can...

...Yeah, the shit gets old...I am only three weeks into it, and I am already tired of it...Mustard and Salsa can old get you so far...But like I have told countless others...I've stopped eating for taste...I eat because I have to...I am a man with a purpose, a mission...and in the end, bitterness will be the taste in that I will enjoy the most...

...Strength and Honor...

T-Minus Thirteen and Counting...(The Daily Grind) (http://http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/PICT0015.jpg)

Crash
03-30-09, 2:00 pm
...Who, What When Where and How, I remember that from my English class. Then came the Why’s. That is what made a really good article. When you got inside someone’s head, and found out what the purpose is behind something. The rest of it is all gravy. Anybody who is half paying attention can tell you the first five. But someone who really wants to figure you out will tell you “Why”...

...Some “why’s” are easy. You see these people all the time at the gym. Others, you have to look a little harder, dig a little deeper...

...I used to have the biggest chip on my shoulder. The whole world was against me. That was my “why”. But somewhere down the line, it evolved, and became something greater. The iron has become a pathway to many open doors...

...Don’t get me wrong, that chip is still there, like an old friend. And there is nothing more satisfying than watching the looks on some people’s faces. But living Life on your own terms; that in itself is Epic. And in that, you have secured you own Immortality, and you can take your place amongst the Gods...

...Strength and Honor...

T Minus Twelve and Counting...(The Five "W"s) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/101_8645.jpg)

Crash
04-09-09, 8:36 am
So the weather has warmed up somewhat, so that we may shed those heavy winter clothes in favor of light pull-overs, and tee-shirts. I personally am happy because I absolutely hate to be cold. I don’t know what happened. I can remember in my younger years bumming around in t-shirts in sub-freezing weather not feeling a thing. Now, Fuck that. But I digress.

Here lately, I’ve been hearing it; “Yo Bro, you losing weight?” Co-Workers, regulars at the gym, even friends and family. I look at them and admit that yes, I am losing weight. 15 in and 20 to go; but that is my secret. Next comes; “how much have you lost already?” followed by; “How’d you do that?” I look at them, I look into their eyes, and down into their soul, and usually I say “you just gotta eat right.” Some shrug it off, other’s look at me because they know I am hiding something, to which I quickly change the subject.

The fact is that 99% of the world doesn’t want the truth. We as a race are so caught up in our entitlement. We want to have our cake and eat it too. But you can’t have it both ways. I remember my last cut, when these questions came, I told them the truth. I told them of the sacrifice, the tuna, the meatloaf, the eggs, oatmeal, the high point of my week was being able to eat rice cakes. How fucked up is that. And they all looked at me like I was from fucking Mars or some shit. And they’d ask “How can you eat the same stuff day after day, doesn’t it get old?”

Motherfucker, the shit got old two weeks into it. I don’t eat for taste, I eat for effect. I want it, I want it bad, I want it worse than you. And for that there is no sacrifice that I won’t make to achieve my goals. So have your cake, eat it. In fact have my piece too. Because, I know that when the chips are down, and it’s time to cross the finish line, you will be the one eating my dust.

…Strength and Honor…

T-Minus Eleven and Counting...(You just Gotta Eat Right) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/GottaEatRight.jpg)

Crash
04-17-09, 9:06 am
“Journey with me into the mind of a maniac…” Dr. Dre - Natural Born Killers

A couple of new guys have started showing up in the mornings. Now I have already admitted to you that I am not the biggest guy of the AM crew, but I would definitely put me in the top five. Or at least, I would’ve. These new guys probably would move me down a few rankings, and it is fucking with my head.

It’s like that shitty scenario where the Devil sits on one shoulder and an Angel on another. One is telling me that I need to end this cut right now, shift more towards a Powerlifiting Routine, and BULK. The other one is telling me to stay the course. See this out, then kick ass.

Law 2 of my Manifesto states that There is a Time and A Place for Everything I plateau very easily, so I constantly have to be changing things up. More food for the Devil, right? There are no trophies when I get done, no show, hell not even a thong clad super model that I might remotely have a chance in hell with.

And that’s when it clicks. I am doing this for me. because I can, and because you said I couldn’t.

“It’s too late”, “You’re not big enough”, “You’ll never make it” Keep talking motherfucker. Because while your talking, I’m working. I am in the depths of Hell sweating, and scheming a plan so diabolical that you won’t even know its coming till its to late.

See: “Your First Mistake was Thinking that I Needed Your Permission, Your Last Mistake was Thinking I Needed Your Approval”

…Game On Motherfuckers…Game on…

…Strength and Honor…

T Minus Ten and Counting...(Voices) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/Voices.jpg)

Crash
04-30-09, 9:22 am
...So for the last week or so I have been training alone....

Which is not really the truth, I always train alone. It doesn’t matter how crowded or empty the gym is, or whether or not my crew is with me; when flesh meets iron everything and everyone ceases to be. All that exists is the level of force I am required to use to push back against the constant. People talk about their life flashing before their eyes in near death situations, does that mean that I am near dying when I am 4 sets in and struggling for rep 6? It seems my whole life story could be summed up in the thirty to forty-five seconds that I am under the bar. Life tries to push you down, and all you can do is push back. I mean from the moment we are born, we begin to die. Yet, how we choose to exist in that time frame is up to us. I, personally, refuse to subscribe to that “lemming mentality”; doing things just because everyone else is. I’d much rather do things my way, and live life on my own terms. That way, when the bill comes due, I know that I have earned the price I have to pay...

...Strength and Honor...

T-Minus Nine and Counting...(Alone) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/Alone.jpg)

Crash
05-20-09, 2:36 pm
..."J, We need to talk." Those were the words that finally brought my house of cards crashing down. For the longest time I had been struggling; trying to balance both jobs, trying to keep my personal business afloat, and fitting in my own training. Then reality hit. I was being laid off...

...It's easy when your on top. You can talk about all your great accomplishments, and how hard (or easy) it was to accomplish them. It's even easy when you are just coming out of that pit, to look back and say "Damn, I went through that?" But to take a look around you and realize that your plans have become derailed, that is a true mark of character. It's rarely the good times that help formulate our core personality. No, more often it is the bad times. The times of struggle, failure, and defeat...

...I admit it. i have not been leaning out as quickly as I need to. In fact I will probably not make my target date. And I cannot change that fact. But since I have been granted the opportunity to become a "paid to play" athlete. I am taking full advantage of this opportunity to bolt the wheels back on...

...Hold on boys, this ride's not over yet...

...Strength and Honor...

T-Minus Eight and Counting...(Till the Wheels Fall Off) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/TilltheWheelsFallOff.jpg)

wedge
05-20-09, 3:13 pm
Great posts. Keep 'em coming bro.

Crash
07-22-09, 2:55 pm
…It’s basic really: One foot in front of the other. Your not running the forty, or a goddamn marathon, so what is your fucking hurry? Your tennis shoes pound the pavement in a rhythmic cadence, compounded and amplified by the blood pounding in your ears. This is Roadwork at its finest…

…Being “unemployed” or a paid to play athlete as I look at it, has its advantages. I usually get up at the crack of 7 or 8, after a full nights sleep. At 9am rain or shine, I strap on my New Balances and take off on a leisurely three mile run. No I-pod, or mp3 player, just a pair of running shorts. It is during this time that I find my thought processes most productive. I think about what I am doing, where I am going and where I have been. I think about failures, successes, pleasure and pain. It seems that sometimes we get all twisted up in the Game at one time or another. When our motivation is low, we call upon the passionate images of fallen brothers, wrongs committed, and personal experiences to help fuel the fire of the forge. Until one day, one fateful moment, the wheels off. You have forgotten that thing; that one thing that that set the fire of your soul to burn. It takes a twisted, fucked up individual to do the things that we do. Yet our core reasons are childlike in nature…

…I think the wheels are firmly back on now…

…Lets Ride…

...Strength and Honor...

T-Minus Seven and Counting...(Roadwork) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/Roadwork-a.jpg)

C.Coronato
07-22-09, 3:00 pm
Yo brother, how ya feeling. Shit is getting serious, im not sure how i missed this for so long. Keep pushing.

Crash
07-29-09, 11:22 am
...I never could appriciate art. For whatever reason, I cannot wrap my mind around how blobs on a canvas or shit welded together constituted praise, admiriation, and of course money. Most times I feel that my six year old could do better. Yet I am beginning to see the art in Bodybuilding and Powerlifting; the curves of the "D"s on the chest, the slope of the traps as they fall from the neck and give way to the delts, and quads as though they appear they were chiseled in stone...

...Now that I am in the depths of Hell, I see another form of art as well; that of the lifting process. There is a certain beauty in those who take hold of the bar with purpose, and willing lock horns with the Devil. The instant that weight hits them, they get this glazed look in their eye, as if everything ceases to be except for the struggle within them. After all, either you can lift it or you can't...Black and White...Pure and Simple...

...Maybe I am finally on the Path to Enlightenment. Maybe the food deprivation is bringing out the "emo" side. Whatever the case, now is not the time to get all misty eyed...I've got shit to do...

T-Minus Six and Counting...(The Path of Enlightenment) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/Artwork.jpg)

Crash
08-13-09, 11:25 am
...I admit that I am not yet a seasoned veteran of the weight room, yet I am no beginner either. I have grown far beyond the original fitness center that I stepped into however many years ago, at the ripe age of twenty something. “A dollar short and a day late” that should be my motto. Yeah right.

I feel fortunate that I get to train, and train around a lot of different people. After all as children we emulate that which we wish to become. Sometimes in the adult world, I think it is no different. Why else would Law 4 be “Act as If…” . What is funny to me is that I see those who I know are going to make it, and those who I know aren’t. Those that seem destined to make it, in my humble opinion, have certain characteristics that we all share. If these are the ties that bind, then I will follow them down the primrose path.

Discipline – Discipline is the act of regulating one’s self. We all know to check our ego at the door when we walk in, and that we are here for business. Yet it doesn’t matter how much of a brick shitter you’re built like. If you dick around in the weight room, don’t be surprised if everyone is ahead of the game and your standing still. Get in, get out, and get it fucking done.

Consistency - That means logging it day in and day out. If someone spends their valuable time putting together a routine for you, It’s not going to do you a fucking bit of good if you don’t follow it, by skipping, and making up. Excuses are like assholes, everyone’s got one. I too have worked two jobs, slept less than four hours and night. Fucking deal with it. It is when we are put outside our comfort zone that we grow as individuals.

Intensity – This is a big one for me. The very definition of Intensity, is controlled Insanity. If you don’t train with Intensity, that what are you training for, maintenance? I mentioned awhile back about a guy who pushes 315 on the incline while singing. I admit it; I wanted to be that guy, until the other day when I overheard him telling someone else that if he had an ear ache, he did not come to the gym. It was at that moment that I knew. Someday I will own you. You may be bigger than me now, but while you are out with your “insert your various complaint here”, I will be in the weight room busting ass. Maybe, just maybe after I am dead, and have been told twice I might think about taking it easy. Until then, we are flirting with the redline...

...I’m going to be honest. I don’t know where I’m going. I do know where I have been. Through the process of trial and error, I know what works, and what seriously fucks your shit up. All I can do is learn from the past, live in the present, and plan for the future. Unlike Lou Rawls above, I am not going to bank on a handful of tomorrows. My time is now...

…Lets Ride…

...Strength and Honor...

T-Minus Five and Counting...(Tools of the Trade) (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-lxowwQyHuc)

Crash
09-14-09, 11:01 am
...I don’t know about you, but shit never turns out the way you expected. I sit here on the first of September, no abs yet sitting at 14%. This was supposed to be a sixteen week cut, but it has morphed into something else. I’ll be the first to admit when I am wrong, or I have done something incorrectly. But, now I can honestly say that I am in uncharted waters...

...Being on a “cut” for this long has definitely given me opportunity to let take shape the goals and images I wish to obtain. I have said before that form with out function, at least to me, is pointless. I’m really glad that you are ripped at 3%, but if you cannot bench at least your own bodyweight, then in my eyes playboy you have failed especially in those pants. By the same token, if you are a big burly powerlifter, what good is it to be able to lift all the weights in the gym, if you get winded stacking them on the bar?..

...Functional Strength, that is the vision that I have settled my sights on. In order to achieve this, I have replaced my afternoon session of cardio, with a second workout session. It is in these sessions that I have incorporated unconventional exercises and methodologies. Wide Grip Bench, Dumbbell Pullovers, Snatches, and Front Squats just to name a few. These sets are light (no less than 8 reps) with emphasis on proper form. I mean I know that you are a Big Motherfucker and all; and you have my respect that you can bench 405, because I am four plates shy of that. But when your chest caves in two inches when you bounce that bar off your chest, you make my ribs fucking hurt...

...No one ever said that the Road to Redemption would be an easy path. I will admit that I have found my fair share of bumpy spots. I am even taking paths that I never thought existed to end up where I want to go. But I also remember that the beginning and the end are only 2 points in the journey, there are a million more along the way...

...Let’s ride...

...Strength and Honor...

T-Minus Four and Counting...(Unconventional Warfare) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/UnconventionalWarfare.jpg)

Crash
09-30-09, 9:30 am
...Summer has definitely left the building. While spring and fall are definitely the favored times of most people, I tend to favor summer, as the warm weather fairs better on the nagging injuries that seem to constantly plague me. With the change in seasons has come a change in programs. My lifting partner has decided that after a solid month of cutting, it is time for him to get thick as a brick. Therefore he has pulled a routine out of our favorite muscle rag, and combined it with a test booster in order to induce growth...

...Normally I am not one to play the politics game. Yet when your lifting partner is your brother, a certain “go along to get along” attitude has to apply. Therefore, I have abandoned my Arnoldistic, style of training in favor, of this progressively low rep, heavy weight set style. Despite this change in lifting routine, my goals have remained the same. I know that going heavy and hard goes against the majoral constant, But I am a firm subscriber to the “It all works” theory. Not that I did not take the routine and put my personal spin on it; far from it. There are certain things I refuse to abandon. Call me an old school freak, so be it. I have refused to follow the mainstream logic for awhile now, and don’t plan on changing anytime soon. It seems as though today, we are plagued with an ADD type society. People are constantly seeking that satisfaction value that fits within their predisposition time frame, as after effects of the TV and internet. We have gotten so used to situational resolution in 60 minutes or less, including commercials, that it seems we rarely exhaust all possibilities and angles, before moving on to something else...

...I hate that Shit... Self indulgence in all its ugly splendor is a selfish attitude that often leaves one coming up short. I would rather take a subject and beat it till its dead. And after I have thourghly picked over the carcass until there is nothing left but bones, then and only then is it time to move on...

...I am not saying that I am right or wrong. Only that I am me. What is good for the goose is not necessarily good for the gander. If that means that I must stand out from the crowd to be labeled as “that guy” so be it. I was never one to fit in anyway...

...Let’s Ride...

...Strength and Honor...

T-Minus Three and Counting...(The Univeral Constant) (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/Roadwork.jpg)

Crash
10-19-09, 11:50 am
…Wisdom is the Fruit of Experience…I understand that. But at what point does one throw conventional wisdom out the window? After all, it is only when one is in uncharted water do they discover new countries…

…Sad to say that sometimes we are our own worst enemy…Our own thinking gets in the way of ourselves…We constantly try and reinvent the wheel, when it has been proven for thousands of years, that it works just fine…

…As of late, I have been the victim of that…My whole theme for this journey has been the quest to find that Thin Red Line…That small realm between Control and Chaos…Where Adrenaline, Endorphins, and Exhaustion reign supreme…Yet for the past several months I have been sheltering that internal flame that is my Passion…I admit that in the personal arena, that life has been trying to beat me down as of late…Does that justify placing everything else on cruise control?..I preach to others about the Immortality of Today…And yet I have adopted the Rainy Day mentality…

…I am making the declaration of that shit stopping here and now…I do not use the weight room to look good…I do not use the weight room to stroke my ego in how much weight I can push…I use the weight room to define me as an individual…It is amazing how something so simple as moving something from point “A” to point “B” can provide an insight into the complexity of one’s human nature…

…I have had the honor of meeting Tony Bua twice…What struck me most about him was the absence of Fear in him…Time to stop reinventing the wheel and take a page out of his book…

...Strength and Honor...

...Let's Ride...

T-Minus Two...You are at fucking Two... (http://www.hogcall.com/funstuff/multimedia/video/Bua/Bua.mpg)

Crash
11-09-09, 10:48 am
...Anyone who strives to make a significant impact, must always have the tool of "Evaluation" close at hand. After all, while the line between Madness and Insanity might be fine, the definitions of the two are as different as Night and Day...

...It is so easy to sit on the sidelines and be an armchair quarterback. However, being in the thick of the shit, where the metal meets the meat; one assumes the awsome responsibility of producing results. The question I put forth to you is this: By whose standards are those measured?..

...It is all to easy to go along with the Status Quo. Results are simply measured by that which is the latest trending topic on twitter, or facebook. More so is it easy to place your Fate in someone else's pre-defined characteristics. There again, the responsibility is placed upon another's shoulders, conceptualizing what they feel to be your chosen course. I don't know about you, but no fucking thank you...

...If I have said it once, I have said it a thousand fucking times; the greatest realization that we can make, is that absolutely anything is possible. Yet, lots of times, when faced with this monumental act of empowerment; we are immediately overcome and seek to complicate things. K-I-S-S will always reign supreme. We are not reinventing the wheel here. And I don't mean to burst your bubble, but its all been done before. So rather than trying to be an inovator, making the brand spanking new you, (Chrome edition) why don't you try and refine yourself to be the best "You" you can be. The Japanese have this philosophy, to where they don't try to invent things; they mearly take the best of everything and make it thier own...

...I will see you at the Finish Line...

...Strength and Honor...

T-Minus One...(Method to the Madness)... (http://i193.photobucket.com/albums/z83/Crash6292/The%20Thin%20Red%20Line/WeightedDips-a.jpg)

Crash
01-27-10, 12:49 pm
...Everyone starts off with that same old line "Yeah I know that I haven't been on here in a while"...And I guess that I am no exception...Some get disintersted, others choose to leave, and some are forced...I fall into the last category...It really sucks when you come home christmas eve and find out that your cable has been shut off...I can't really say as I blame them though...But I digress...

..."It is only after we have lost Everything that we are free to do Anything"...I now find truth in that statement...Having been parred down to the bare minimum for survival one finds out just what s truly important in one's life...Having abs would be nice...Not shrinking of malnutrition would be better...And I am greedy in the sense of things in that I do not want to give up what it has taken me years to earn...

...People think that life is one big vacation when you are unemployed...And I guess for some people it is...I think that lasted for about a month...Then I started getting worried, then I started getting scared...I guess whomever made me did not intend for me to be a lazy fuck...And after awhile that prays on you...Failure after failure amasses in non-returned phone calls, positions being filled, and everytime you go to a new place you put on you happy face as in your excited to be there...But in the back of you mind...Yeah you know...

...Lifting weights is not rocket science...Sorry Brothers...You take a heavy object and move it from A to B...Sometimes very rarely C...The mental aspect of lifitng is the most difficult thing that I have ever encountered...If your mind is not right when you step into that gym...it is very much like pissing in the wind...Yeah you might relieve yourself, but your shoes will come back wet more often than not...

...This is not to say that I placed my fitness goals on hold...Not at all...I completed my shitty split dreamed up by my now absent training partner...I took my week of deload and week off...and i am now back on my grind...I ate good when I could and survived the rest of the time...I'm sure that if I were a stronger man, I could have eaten tuna and eggs whites till i puked...But Brothers, I ain't there...Yet...

...So now we move on to the next chapter of our lives...I am now working part time at two places...Which is giving me some what of a stick to beat off the wolves...I am using this opportunity to realign my priorities and my outlook on life so that in 2010 I will come back stronger than ever...I am finding my own resources and finding new ways to what is necessary to acheive that which I deem is necessary...

...As I had said before...I may be under the radar, but I am not off the map...And as I sit here in this McDonalds Parking lot borrowing their internet, I am constantly making and excuting plans...And I will come back bigger and better than ever...

....Strength and Honor...