PDA

View Full Version : Journal of a Man Possessed: Gaoshang Xiongshou



Gaoshang Xiongshou
04-29-09, 7:06 pm
Entry Title: This Message
2009 April 29



…and there we are. You look at me wondering why I do what I do, and I look at you wondering why you do not do what I do. With that, I think on what this all means to me, and think on what I know it does not mean to you. And I have a message to deliver... given to me from the blood of the beast to be passed along to the many that refuse to know and understand what it is to be who you really are supposed to be. If you are reading this, chances are, you know what I am talking about, and are with me day-to-day in your own struggle. But if you are not one in that number, pay attention...

This message is for those on the outside. As you peer into the vastness of my focused and disciplined life, one filled with solitude because I choose to block out and do away with the things that will keep me from reaching my goals, I am looking into your chaotic upheaval of an existence… the one that for countless unfathomable excuses, you are afforded your many chances (supposedly) for failure. No time? Make some. No drive? Find it. Too tired? Drink coffee. Get up, get out, and get on with it. As I hear it, because you insist on stopping me to tell me, you want X,Y, Z… and you want to be able to do what I do. However, there is always a ‘but’.

This message is for all of you who have a ‘but’. KNOCK IT THE FUCK OFF. In my hyper-disciplined world, ‘but’ is the same as death, because it is the end to whatever you think you want… obviously, you do not want it if you can say ‘but’, and proceed to rattle off your excuse.

This message is for the haters… HATE ON. Katt Williams said it best when he said that everyone needs a hater. You look at us with contempt and disgust, the rage with yourself eating you like maggots on a corpse, and day by day, bit by bit, your stock shrinks, while those that you despise see constant growth… mind, body, and spirit. They would do so anyway without your venomous filth, but you provide an extra, unexpected spark. Someone should thank you, but you would probably hate that too.

This message is for the few on the fence who want into this world of ours, and want to embrace this thing we do. Come right on in. It will be hard… the consistency of training, the precision detailing of dieting and supplementation, the thrill of training blindingly punctuated by the agony of recovery over several days… it is not rocket science, but it is not arithmetic either. Remember this, and know that there are enough of us here to help you along, if you really want it, and this.

And finally, this message goes to all my brothers and sisters fighting the good fight day in and day out in the gym, be it at 5AM, when the doors first open, or if you are an extreme night owl, and you are grinding out reps at 11:45PM. Forkful after forkful of tuna and egg whites, sweet potato and brown rice going in, games of Madden 2009 going down while you rest and wait for the new day, and bulking/cutting cycles going on… stay strong and on the path. 90 seconds under the bright lights and in front of the crowd is coming soon. Show them what you have got.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
04-30-09, 8:32 am
Entry Title: 405 (printed in April 2009 issue of Muscular Development magazine)
2009 April 30


The air is thick with the stench of toil and struggle. It may be cold… but I have warmed up. The dismal, washed out color of the walls and ceiling tile give the place a feeling of dank depression. But that means nothing to me. I feel energized… electric… READY.

Why?

I am looking down at 405lbs on the floor, ready to be relocated to the place of my choosing. I know… 405lbs. for a deadlift is not a lot. But this 405 means a lot to me.

It means that I am in a new place, and it is not the same place that I was at yesterday. It means that I made good on a promise to myself: fight past the pain of the pull; fight through the frustration of missing something along the way in my program that would eventually get me here. It means that I gave everything that I had, except excuses, and worked with the little bit that I was given, to make a reality that once only existed in my deepest slumber.

It means that while everyone else did a set of whatever, and took ten minute rest breaks to talk about stuff that did not matter, I kept it moving, and dead weight on the floor was reborn and alive anew once I wrapped my hands around cold Olympic steel, and drove vertical. It means that the whispers I heard, and the evil looks shot at me as weight pounded the floor again, and again, and again… all of that was wasted energy… THEIR wasted energy, as something greater could have come from it, but they chose otherwise. They have nothing to show for it. I was not going to let anything stop me, and I have the proof of my conviction.

It means that my focus was on point… when it was game time, I took it to the wheels, quarters, nickels, and dimes as if my life depended on it. Forged from a desire… no guts, no glory. I would rather die than not meet my goal. Torn skin, cramped hands, and white lights dancing before my very eyes from overexertion… a small price to pay for the greatness that is progress. You have to want it. You have to feel it. You have to understand it. If not, you have to get out of the way of people like me, before you get run over.

I may have to use a mixed grip… use lifting straps, just in case… take an extra minute or two before the pull, and only get a single. But you know what? I am here… and I am not going anywhere, except up.

495, here I come…

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-01-09, 8:24 am
Entry Title: I Am Not Happy
2009 May 01


As I looked in the mirror today, and as I thought about what I wanted to accomplish with myself and my physique, it dawned on me…

I am not happy.

Regardless of what I can do, how far I have come, the discipline that I have continued to reinforce, or the unknowing votes of confidence from friends, family, and strangers… I am not happy.

I have no idea what people see when they look at me. But I see the unfinished product. I see what needs improving, and I see the frustration that comes with the struggle. I have no idea what people think when they think of me… but, I know what I think, and it is not pretty, to say the least. When people ask me questions about what I am doing, where I hope to go, and how can they do what I do to be even close to what I am, I tell them… but I do not know what they hear. However, I hear the muted cries of displeasure, and the constant resonance of harsh and unrelenting craving for that something better than what I am now.

They can tell me that they want what I have… it seems to be so much to them, but it is absolutely nothing to me, and I cannot fathom how someone could aspire to so little. Not being exactly of the same mind and manner of discipline is lost on me, and the sorrow that I feel for them is the same intensity of the loathing I have for the mirror’s reflection.
I would say it is this that keeps me pushing forward for the goal. And yes, I am told that I am way too hard on myself. But I have to look at those who tell me this thing, and see that they have settled for less than what they could be and do and I cannot listen to them. The day that I stop aiming for the absolute best is the day I am to be buried. Failure to succeed in this part of life will no doubt transfer to other areas of my life in some way, and there shall be fault there as well.

I need the indignity of the suffering of a ravaged mind that comes from the unrest of desires denied. I need the pain of that moment… the moment that seems as if it will never end… the moment that will not end until I decide that it is time. It hurts… it is punishment. It is the penance that I pay for mediocrity. While maddening on many levels, the end result is fulfilling… or at least it should be.

As I looked in the mirror today, and as I thought about what I wanted to accomplish with myself and my physique, it dawned on me…

I am not happy.

Tomorrow, I may be though. As long as I have a tomorrow, the possibility exists that one day, I will be.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-02-09, 9:18 am
Entry Title: Fire in the Hole
2009 May 02



The weight had been loaded, and I stood there looking at the bar thinking about what was about to go down. It is leg day, and I am happy… so very happy… one would think I was about to have sex. That was not the satisfaction I was about to get, but I was going to have satisfaction regardless.

Eying the bar waiting there for me in the squat rack, calling, inviting, begging to be commanded and dominated, I felt the euphoric rush of lazy daydreams splashed with a potent blend of a Pak, and when the mixture of excitement and adrenaline could not be contained anymore, I stepped under the bar, taking the dare of the Universe, and insisting on my reward… pain… pleasure… growth… and yet another step toward my sought after ecstasy of sporting 30” quads.

Ragged breathing from three prior sets asserted itself, trying to set the tone for this set, but I paid it no mind. Diamond knurling dug into my neck as I pushed up to free the weight from the rack. Four steps backward for me cleared me of it’s perch. Now, there is nothing to stop me from going rock bottom, but also nothing to save me. I either go down and come back up, or go down, not make it back up, and ride shame and embarrassment into oblivion. The latter will not be my fate.

I adjust my stance, and take one deep breath… in… out… focus my gaze straight ahead, looking at everything and nothing at the same time, and then, down I go. As I begin my descent, I feel everything engage to control the drop. My legs once again come to attention, and if they could talk, I would be called all sorts of foul names. Down I go, between the quarter point and parallel. The weight is steady. It is all good, and I can see the future… tree trunk legs with vines for veins traveling all around. I smile as I hit parallel, and downward still I go. Sinking in deep into the squat, sitting deep, the weight of this world… my world, is evenly distributed on my shoulders, taunting me, calling for my concession. But the weight does not own me… IT JUST OWES ME. I give my life and sanity for this thing that I do, and I expect the weight’s appreciation in return… and that token will be improvement.

Now, rock bottom, and knee deep in commitment, I pause for a count of one, and then power upward. All is hot. All is strained, and a slave to the discipline that I would die if I did not have in my life. All has been asked for, and is required in this Hell that I love so much. Coming out of the pocket from ground zero, I feel the magic of the squat all through me, and I have to have it. One rep down… countless more to go to greatness.

Fire in the hole, ladies and gentlemen… W hen this goes off, look out.

machineman
05-02-09, 10:51 am
great posts, man....consider me subbed....thanks for sharing...

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-02-09, 2:04 pm
great posts, man....consider me subbed....thanks for sharing...

Thank you for reading!

violator
05-04-09, 10:11 am
Eying the bar waiting there for me in the squat rack, calling, inviting, begging to be commanded and dominated, I felt the euphoric rush of lazy daydreams splashed with a potent blend of a Pak.

Great writing bro....."hi my name is Gaoshang....& im a squataholic"...haha
welcome to legs anonymous.....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-04-09, 1:57 pm
Entry Title: Reciprocity
2009 May 04


Everywhere you go, everyone you see… today, everything is all about reciprocity. No one can do anything for anyone today, just out of the goodness of their own heart. It is always about “give to get”. That is selfish. It should not be that way.

BUT… reciprocity is the code of the gym. It should be YOUR personal code. You should expect the iron to reward you for your dedication and attention to the task at hand. You should expect the weight to bring it to you, and give no quarter during your meeting. You should expect for the weight to ask for more than you want to give… and you better fucking give it.

That is right… reciprocity out there… in the world… yeah, you can look past it, and be a different person, apart from the norm. In the gym… that is the time to be selfish. When you lay down on that bench, looking up at the bar with fractions of a ton on it, and it is daring you to not be a bitch, that is its gift to you… giving you what you need to man up and kill that shit. Give it right back in the form of unadulterated aggression, determination, and ownership. However the weight comes at you, give it your list of demands, and mean it. Fair and equal exchange is soon headed your way.

Be hungry. No… fuck that… be ravenous. Want it all. Take, and take, and take, and take… but you damn well better give. This is not one of those “Tis better to give than receive” moments. Hell no… this is the time when it is better to receive. But remember the code, because you ain’t getting shit unless you give, and give plenty.

So when you hear those guys over on the wall, huddled tightly, looking like they are all about to bust out into a game of close quarters grab ass, complaining about how they come in and work and work, but have nothing to show for it, you can smile, knowing that those are stingy motherfuckers, and that they are completely clueless. When they look your way, thinking that your muscle came from a syringe (because they will), laugh the laugh of a thousand Hellspawns… your dextrose sweet act of committed selfishness is the biting, crippling, emasculating truth for them… they just do not have what it takes. And they will know it. However, if they pay attention, they will come to know of, and learn this unspoken code of reciprocity as well.

And all will be right with the world… at least until the next spineless, sorry ass, simple motherfucker starts to whine about his lack of return. Then, the cycle starts all over again.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-04-09, 2:00 pm
Great writing bro....."hi my name is Gaoshang....& im a squataholic"...haha
welcome to legs anonymous.....

I will proudly join that group. No shame in my game, brother.

I hope you enjoy my ramblings!

GJN5002
05-04-09, 2:13 pm
Are you coming over from the rxmuscle boards?

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-04-09, 2:18 pm
Are you coming over from the rxmuscle boards?

If you mean leaving them, no I am not. I am here as well. Been gone for a while. I am a mod over there (which I am sure you know).

violator
05-05-09, 6:02 am
LIVE the code.....damn right

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-05-09, 12:13 pm
Entry Title: She
2009 May 05


Four wheels and a quarter on the spoke… that is what I was looking at. That is what stood before me.

Today is back day, and coming to the tail end of training, it is all on fire… white hot, and I envision it singed and ablaze like scorched Vietnamese soil after an incoming U.S. salvo attack. Knotted goodness has graced me with its presence, and I am two working sets away from peace and salvation.

I stand there, looking down at the iron opposition, knowing that this is about to be a rough battle, but knowing that it will be another win for me. As I prepare my mind for what is about to come, with Children of Bodom screaming wildly with an aural assault, I look up… from across the gym, she is looking at me.

Who is she? I have seen her before in passing… on the way into the gym, or on the way out. Either way, I am shoving something into my mouth, part of my daily nutritional requirement. I know that could not have been the most promising or welcome sight. But she always smiled at me, and I cannot remember, but I think I may have shot her some kind of dirty glare. Maybe not, because here she was now, looking ever so intently at what was about to happen, and probably at what had been going on for four sets, and maybe even during the whole time that I was there. Our eyes locked, and there was the connection. In that one moment, I recall her asking me for help a time or two, to reach the pulley that was set too high on the cable station, or when she asked me to show her how to deadlift, or when I corrected her form on the lat pulldown, and she coyly continued to get it wrong no matter what my corrections were… I remember the look in her eyes, the smile on her face. They were the same things I was seeing now. It was nice. Warm and inviting, it was quite possibly the surface of something very intoxicating. I very seldom find myself suspended in time and am left wondering what is happening. People moved about, but I saw nothing… just her. Standing in front of a treadmill, with me on the other side of the gym, she managed to find me through the metal jungle of the weight pit, on the curve of the indoor running track. She is quite attractive, and I am thinking she is one of the best things I have ever seen. And now, my heart is racing. I actually hear my heartbeat over the new track that has started on my iPod. And in this moment, one thing is on my mind as I snap out of my momentary lapse of control...

…Jr. USA’s 2010. I have work to do. I drop my gaze back to the weight, and dig in deep. Top 3 means more to me than she does.

violator
05-06-09, 5:06 am
great.....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-06-09, 12:33 pm
Entry Title: Back the Fuck Up (printed in September 2008 issue of Muscular Development magazine)
2009 May 06


I was in the squat rack today, with my paltry sum of iron on the bar, and as I unrack and step out into empty space, I hear a guy behind me ask me how many more sets I have. I answer, and start my slow drop to the depth, pause, and then power back up. Even for the light amount of weight that it was, it was rough. Much more rough than the guy behind me would have wanted, because I heard him talking to his boys about me. And what did I hear in reference to me?

"He's on steroids... veins..."

Something told me I should have turned my music up louder before I started. Then I would not have heard that bullshit.

My immediate thought was to turn around and tell them exactly what I thought about it.

However, I let it go. Instead, I found satisfaction in it. And here is why:

It isn't the first time I have heard it. It won't be the last time. What it means though is that I'm something that most people aspire to, but do not have it within themselves to reach. They want and want and want, and in the end, have nothing… at least, not what they wanted. But I do. And that does not make me better than them. But what it does make me is driven. Focused. Determined.

While they stood there slack-jawed, waiting for me to clear out, they could have easily worked in with me... gotten a taste of real training, found the way to achieve their goals, and been the next somebody that someone else accused of using gear. Instead, I had to hear one of them talk about the rims he is going to pick up this weekend, and another one talk about getting that "special love" from some girl he knew in high school.

So as my short and sweet set was over, and I racked it... the steroid comment still rang loud and clear in my head. So what if I was doing something that you can’t or won’t do? Accuse me of assistance? It’s crazy enough that people think I’m on because of the breakneck pace I used to keep. Well, you know what? Thank you. I’ll take it and move on to the next exercise. It just means I’m not fucking around, but you are.

So I moved on, and stopped to look back at them. Yes, they had loaded more weight onto the bar than I had. And yes, they were squatting too... if you call not even breaking parallel a squat. I went rock bottom, with less weight, and with longer legs. What was their excuse?

Jealousy. Insecurity. Perceived inadequacy. That shit is a bitch, isn’t it?

At least I can hold my head high, and know why I do what I do...

... Bitch, you don’t know me. I'M A MOTHERFUCKING ANIMAL. This is far more than you will ever be.

Deal with it.

wedge
05-06-09, 12:44 pm
Nice posts.
I may have to use a mixed grip… use lifting straps, just in case… take an extra minute or two before the pull, and only get a single. But you know what? I am here… and I am not going anywhere, except up.
-This jumped out at me, as I am closing in on a 450 pull. I look forward to reading more.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-06-09, 4:05 pm
Nice posts.
I may have to use a mixed grip… use lifting straps, just in case… take an extra minute or two before the pull, and only get a single. But you know what? I am here… and I am not going anywhere, except up.
-This jumped out at me, as I am closing in on a 450 pull. I look forward to reading more.

Thank you for dropping by, brother. I add to this Monday through Friday, unless I am not here to do so.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-07-09, 10:43 am
Entry Title: Push
2009 May 07


Recently, I was asked why I push so hard. Call my cell phone after I have just finished leg day, or back day, and I sound beaten. I feel bruised. Look into my eyes, and you see that one hour of white-hot intensity has defeated me, and left me to lick my wounds so that I can return the next day to take more punishment, because I will be damned if it keeps me down.

And why... why, I am asked?? Why do I hurt myself?

WHY THE FUCK NOT? That is my question.

Why do I push???

Why should I accept my mediocrity? Why should I accept my genetic lot in life? Why should I look in the mirror and not find acceptance in what I have done for myself, and in the back of my mind, know I am capable of more? For that matter, why should I not want more?

Basically, every breath I take is for the gym. Every morsel of food I eat is for the gym. I feel alive when I step into the pit, and when I leave, even knowing that the workout was productive and worthwhile for my having been there... when I leave, I die. But like a phoenix, I am reborn the next day when I return. And it is all for this one thing: Progress.

What I see... what I want... what I need... the gym gives. Because of that, in an uncharacteristic display of arrogance and defiance, I would chase anyone down on stage, and battle it out pose for pose, regardless of their size. I would even chase down Cutler, Coleman, or Jackson, knowing full well that I would be grossly outmatched.

For this, I get looks of either amazement or disbelief... and some looks of concern.

By martial arts standards, bodybuilding would be considered an antithesis to my movement and execution. I have fused these entities together and it works, so why should I not push, and push hard?

Perfection is not what I seek. Invincibility has never been my aim. But it comes back to progress, and progressing gets me closer to being my absolute best.

That is why I push.

I have no idea what my absolute best is, but I am willing to find out. I live only for this... and martial art. It means this much to me... too much, possibly. Again, I ask, why should I not push, and push hard?? I think of the greats... Priest, Ray, Zane... AND… hell, even a lot of the guys that I push past at the Arnold… all I can think is, “I must push harder tomorrow..."

And I dare do so, as if that day will be the absolute last day that I will ever see the gym, as if I will die that day, and for some strange reason, be judged on my physique rather than my moral fiber by the Almighty himself. But I do not care...

I see what I want, and I will have it, as I have to look in the mirror everyday and decide whether I am satisfied or not.

Tomorrow is a new day. Tomorrow is another chance. Tomorrow is the day that erases last week's corresponding day, and next week, what comes tomorrow will be erased...

... all in the name of progress.

machineman
05-07-09, 12:14 pm
great post....and so true.....thanks..

RUEHS
05-07-09, 6:54 pm
"90 seconds under the bright lights and in front of the crowd is coming soon. Show them what you have got."

shit man, I felt that in my bones.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-07-09, 9:12 pm
"90 seconds under the bright lights and in front of the crowd is coming soon. Show them what you have got."

shit man, I felt that in my bones.

You have to feel it deep, brother. Deep to the core. To the soul. Those words have to mean as much to you as the air you breathe and the food you eat.

Thank you for stopping by to check it out. Trust me, it will always be going down in here.

Survivor831
05-07-09, 9:46 pm
Yo brother, this is some serious shit. I have been reading your posts and checking in to see what inspiration I can draw from you next. There is a reason we here on the forum are here. Being a part of this family, this brotherhood, is an honor, and you my friend are speaking for a legion. Thank you for reminding me again why I do this. Consider me along for the ride!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-07-09, 10:29 pm
Yo brother, this is some serious shit. I have been reading your posts and checking in to see what inspiration I can draw from you next. There is a reason we here on the forum are here. Being a part of this family, this brotherhood, is an honor, and you my friend are speaking for a legion. Thank you for reminding me again why I do this. Consider me along for the ride!

Appreciate it, brother. Glad I could be of help!

violator
05-08-09, 6:57 am
Bro...this log is my daily inspiration at the mo....pure quality...
also wanted to ask what system of martial arts u study?
keep writing these killer posts...

peace

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-08-09, 9:09 am
Bro...this log is my daily inspiration at the mo....pure quality...
also wanted to ask what system of martial arts u study?
keep writing these killer posts...

peace


I am glad you get something out of them, brother.

As far as me and the martial arts...

I am a Shaolin martial artist, training since 1985. My first experience in the martial arts was with Togakure-ryu Ninjutsu in the sixth grade. A few months later, I started the study of traditional Taekwondo (no ITF or ATF or any sport variation). Soon after, the ninjutsu instructor moved, and I stayed with Taekwondo for a few years. Eventually, my Quan Jah Nim returned to his home in Seoul for a year, and when he returned, he had revamped his curriculum, and made it more appealing for the American market. He went commercial, and the Taekwondo was from that point on a hybrid system based on Taekwondo, with strong influences of Shotokan in the early ranks and Shaolin wushu at the later ranks. Still, I stayed, but in the ninth grade, I started training with another classmate... two actually... in Praying Mantis and Wing Chun. With the other classmate, he let me into the world of Koga-ryu Ninjutsu (picking up some weapons skills). After that class year was over, I lost touch with both of them, but I stayed with the Chinese arts, as I gravitated toward them and showed a greater strength there.

So through the years, I have been able to have time to train in arts such as Shaolinquan, Baguazhang, Wu Style Taijiquan, Zuijiuquan, Xingyiquan, and Choy Li Fut, just to name a few. Whoever I could train with, for however long that I could train with them, I did. While attending Tennessee State University for a semester, I started my off/on study of Muay Thai (eventually getting to Muay Chaiya in 2003), and then upon returning home after that, I trained in Jun Fan Jeet Kune Do, along with Shootfighting in preparation for the UFC. I never went though, and do not regret that decision. I am one to study anything, or at least anything that interests me, and dissect, reconstruct, and synthesize for my use as I see fit.

What I am focused on at the moment is Muay Chaiya, which is one of the Muay Boran of Thailand. I am training a local MMA fighter for the amateur circuit here, and his fight game (as set by me) is a mixture of Muay Chaiya, Shootfighting, and Catch Wrestling. It is all being managed by Jeet Kune Do concepts. Because Muay Chaiya is not ring legal at all, even in Thailand today, I am mixing in modern ring style Muay Thai so that he can fight on the cards.

naturalguy
05-08-09, 9:18 am
Very cool and deep posts. Interesting read.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-08-09, 9:23 am
Entry Title: Who Are You?
2009 May 08


There you are… standing there, looking in the mirror, looking at the floor, looking at the weight, and hopefully, looking within yourself. Day in and day out, without question, you bring it all in with you… your pain, your love, your lust, your angst, your rage, agony, envy, passion… it all comes in a branded gym bag marked with years of sacrifice, and battered by tours of duty in the worst hellholes that bodybuilders have seen… you bring it all in, lock It down, load it up, and unleash it upon the shiny silver and gunmetal gray world, all in hopes of building the ultimate temple. With all of this happening, people stop and stare, and really wonder… who are you?

Do you know? When you blow off the Saturday night hang out so that you can get into the gym at 8AM to do legs, ON A SUNDAY, just to make sure you get a full eight hours of sleep and then some… do you know? When you go home to visit your family, and all of your favorite foods from your childhood are there, but you turn your nose at it, and reach into your travel cooler for tuna packets and a baggie of asparagus… do you know?

When you put on a shirt one day, and notice that it is no longer fitting too comfortably anymore, and that it looks like you shrunk it in the laundry… do you know? When you walk out in public, and guys look at you with contempt while their girlfriends (or boyfriends, for you ladies) dream about you while keeping a straight face… do you know? When everyone wants something for nothing from you… “Move my couch”, “Tell me what can I do to look like you”… do you know?

Does it take all of that to help you know who you are… the positives of this all? The product that can be seen? The product that can be felt? Because when you are staring at yourself, 18 weeks out from the big show, or if you are putting on the offseason weight so that you can pack on the muscle, and you are beaten down, battered, fed up of the monotony, fed up of the pressure that you put on yourself, tired from the long days of balancing training, eating, sleeping, and some semblance of a normal life, all for a fraction of a move to the right of a measurement to show progress, YOU HAVE GOT TO KNOW… you have got to know who you are.

So, I ask you… and do not try to impress me, or prove it to me… prove it to yourself… I ask you. Who are you?

WHO are you?

WHO ARE YOU?!

Say it loud and proud. Say that shit like you mean it. Say it so that Satan himself would hear it, and know to back up off of you. Say it, growl it, mean it, OWN IT. WHO THE FUCK ARE YOU?! You better know, because if you do not know who you are, how do you expect anyone else to? How do you expect the judges to know?

For that matter… how will you even know?

Look in that mirror, and find that answer deep within yourself… or stop wasting your time.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-11-09, 6:23 am
Entry Title: This Ain't Easy
2009 May 11


What the hell, man… it is 10:36AM, and I am eating chicken breast for the third time today. Chicken, pasta, water… is this my life? Is this my only sustenance? Is this what I signed up for?

You are goddamn right it is. Fundamental rule of this shit… the body is made in the kitchen, not the gym. The gym is the maintenance. The gym is the fun. The gym is the orgasm. The work… the REAL work is between the four walls, and laid out in the cabinet and deep freezer.

Put in the work… the sacrifice of turkey or chicken over a cheeseburger, and your body will thank you when the time for cut is upon you. Lose your mind and keep company with all of the things that you love so much that make you want to clutch it like a drunkard holding on to Southern Comfort, and it will be an extra two to four weeks on the treadmill… and you know that is a pain.

If you ask yourself why you are doing this, then you may as well pack it in and pick up a new passion in life. Question nothing. Ignore doubt. Ignore fear. Ignore the cartoon characters that call out to you on that packaging as you stalk through the grocery store to get what is required to feed the need. And when you go back to that empty, lonely home, know that while there is not anyone and anything there, the truth of the matter is that EVERYTHING is there… everything that you need to get it done… if you really want it.
So stuff it down. Shove it down. Get it down, and get it done. Hey, no one is putting a gun to your head… why are you complaining? Tired of the same thing today that you had yesterday, and the day before? If you have room to make a change or adjustment, do it, and get it done. If not, oh well… suck it up, chow down… get it done. Pretty soon, you will see that it is all just a figment of your imagination… it is not hard. It is not impossible. It is what it is… the life of a bodybuilder. Your life. The life you chose, the life you stole from one of the Abercrombie and Bitch swimmer types at the gym who wants what you have put in the time and effort for, but was too lazy and apologetic about his life to go for it.

Yeah, I know it gets rough some days… happens to the best of us… anywhere from 6 to 12 egg whites, chicken, turkey, sweet potato, green beans, asparagus, broccoli… too plain for most people. Too bland for most people. TOO REAL for most people. But that is it brothers and sisters… the shit has to get real in this game, or you need to stop playing.

I do not know about you, but when weigh-in comes, I want to be at the top end of the weight class, standing tall and proud with mass, and not at the bottom end, having barely made weight, and had to burn most of what I built along with the fat that I was too busy chewing when it REALLY counted.

Think about it. And while you are thinking about it, get in the kitchen. It is time for the next meal.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-12-09, 1:58 pm
Entry Title: The Way We Were
2009 May 12



Thinking back on the way we were… I miss it.

No, this is not the lead-in to a Barbara Streisand cover. Babs might warble about “the way we were”, but I promise you, she knows nothing about this. And the problem is, neither does anyone else. So few get it… so many fail to understand it.

The way we were… a well known brotherhood/sisterhood… family. You would walk into the gym each day, whether you were part of the day crew or the night shift, and you knew everyone, and everyone knew you. The atmosphere was dreary, and you were required to supply your own spark. The name of the game was moving weight… crushing, mind-bending pig iron that help forge your body into a living wonder of the world. It was a time when you walked in, and had interlocking rubber mats to protect the floor from slammed weights. It was when there was no air conditioning, and a barely functional heating unit for the winter. Remember the days of a power outage, and still grinding out the sets and reps in the dimly lit room, declaring to management that you were not leaving until all of the work was done? I do.

The way we were… when someone could bring in a block of chalk for deadlifts. The way we were… when there was a back room with a cot or two, for when you were going to hit a double split that day, and needed a nap in between the punishment. The way we were… when it was nothing to see a guy sitting on a bench, reaching down into his food bag, to pull out a container with cold rice and chicken breast, and eat it as is (sometimes, one was lucky enough to have a microwave there). The way we were… when there were actually posing rooms situated off to the side of the gym. I have only ever been in one gym that had a posing room, and in later years, it became an aerobics studio. Goddamnit. The way we were… when this actually meant something to every man and woman who walked through the doors, and when the gym was a home away from home. That is the way we were.

The way we are now though… is a shiny, happy people land with carpeted floors, air conditioning and ceiling fans. Suck ass music systems killing us slowly with bubblegum pop and soft rock. We have color schemes and stupid alarms. The way we are now, we have signs with rules that make absolutely no sense, written by people who are afraid of hard work, and probably afraid of the dark. The way we are now, we have trainers that do not actually know anything about training, but know everything in the book, and therefore know every conceivable way to fuck you up… that is the way we are now. I remember one day, not too long ago, when I was sitting on a flat bench with my post workout meal, and somebody decided to complain that I was eating in the weight pit (or as they like to call it, the free weight area). Management looked over at me, then back at him, and told him “he’s cool. Just leave him alone. He’ll be done in a minute”. The way we are now… this does not mean anything to anyone who comes to the gym, except for the fact that they can say that they go.

The way we are now… well, I guess it is not us… it is them. WE have come along so far, so fast, and so strong, that they want to keep us down, and so they find ways to keep the boot on our neck. But we keep getting from under it, and no matter what you do, we always will.

Misty water-colored memories of the way we were… okay, maybe. I can admit it.

But I want to get back to that.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-13-09, 3:51 pm
Entry Title: One More Rep
2009 May 13



There comes a moment in our daily battle with the iron that is unlike any seconds before it. With fibers engaged and insane committal to the task at hand, we march forward… 3, 4, 5, 6… and as you come to a close on the set, you realize where you are. You realize who you are. And, you realize that you want more… as hard as it may be, you want it. And you WILL have it.

That is the best time in the world... that single moment, where everything in time stops, all goes silent, the world goes black and white, and although anything else you do not hear, you actually hear the tortured scream of your body in your head as you crash into a wall of obscenity... That release of sweet, rapturous pain in the muscle that you are training, which seems to spread all over in the blink of an eye, seizing control of rational thought and logic, daring you to soldier on and push, pull, or raise again, and again, and AGAIN…
This is the secret bliss that many know about, but few seek out. This is the moment of truth, the instant that defines if you are really training, or just going through the motions, and trying to impress people.

You may sweat. You may bleed. You just may cry. You will be battered… beaten… and you will fall. But you also will rise… rise again, stare at that bench… stare at that rack… stare at that dumbbell… and everyone will see it in your eyes and know… you, we, us… we are not human. We look like it, but we are more, and we mean business, and the business at hand is one more… always, one more, and every time, you must push and push, take what the weight gives you and throw it back in its unseen face, and always, ALWAYS, look to get one more rep, because what that one last rep means is that you do not concede defeat, and moved Heaven, Earth, Hell, and even Limbo to get there.

If what you are doing does not mean anything to you, then you will accept mediocrity. And you will sell yourself short on what is rightfully yours. OR… you can stare that demon of doubt in his hot white, vacant eyes, dig into the depths of your being that you have never even seen, and let yourself, the world, the universe, and the very entity that is existence know that you will not stop… you will not fail… there is more… always more.

Go get it. And when you do, get another, and then one more. Compromise nothing. Sacrifice your comfort. See your end result, and know that you are steadfastly contributing to the cause, brothers and sisters. Live for it, and even be prepared to die for it, because you want it that badly… never give up on it…

ONE MORE REP.

If you cannot or will not do that, GET LEFT BEHIND.

ironbound
05-13-09, 10:06 pm
You're a great writer bro! I keep checking your page once or twice a day and always love reading new posts. It's like you get in the mind of every lifter and say what we all want to say, but most of us aren't as talented at putting it into words. Keep on writing and I'll keep reading... Shit gets me psyched to hit the weights!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-14-09, 4:44 pm
Entry Title: Drive
2009 May 14



Ever have those days when you feel like you are missing something in this thing we do? Sometimes you just hit a wall, and wonder where the fuck it came from? Those are the days you feel like you want to stop.

Brothers and sisters… my Legion… it gets like that some days. But you have to remember why you are doing this, and you do not need one reason, and only one reason. For me, part of my reason is for a guy named Ken.

Ken was my training partner back when I lived in Michigan for several months during 2003 and 2004. I walked into the original Powerhouse in Highland Park, and knew I had a new home. The real lifters outnumbered the casual lifters greatly. Powerlifters, strongmen, ex-competitive bodybuilders (or so they said), lots of cops, lots of fire fighters, lots of locker room and street pharmacists, and a whole host of others who would be going behind the closed door, or who had just gotten out from behind it. It was great. The atmosphere was charged with a sense of purpose and a sense of urgency in every rep. Ken was one of those lifters.

When I started there, I was the new kid on the block. Everyone saw me day in and day out, either training for myself, or training clients. People came to know me eventually, and much like anywhere else, I formed a bond, and cemented my spot there amongst the guys and girls. However, despite all of this, I worked alone. Looking around at the eclectic group there, I noticed… big as hell, strong as hell, but it is all wrong as hell, and I cannot trust any of these guys to help me take it to the next level. I studied them all though… the only one who stood out was Ken, a powerlifter who was making his way into strongman. I could trust him, and so I did. We started training together, and we had a mixture of everything… bodybuilding, powerlifting, and strongman. Good times indeed. I remember so much of it like it was yesterday. There was a good amount of progress made, and a lot learned.
All of that came to screeching halt on September 1, 2004. Ken was a Detroit Police Officer, but the pay was less than stellar. He took a job as a bouncer at one of the strip clubs there at night, and on that day, the bullet was fired that was the beginning of the end of his life. For whatever reason, management sent him out with two guys, and one went to his car and got a gun. Ken took the shot in his abdomen, and 12 hours later, he was gone… struck down at only 28-years-old.

It was about a year before I got back into the gym. That shit really tore me up. Exactly one year later, the restriction was lifted on officers moonlighting for extra money, and they were allowed to take second jobs. He wanted to better provide for his family, and he had to die in the process. For that to happen a year later was just another blow to the gut for me. That shit pissed me off.

I have a lot of reasons for wanting what I want, and doing what I do. But none of them I can articulate as clearly as this one: A big part of my drive is Ken. Man, he knew where I was going, and wanted to be. And he was the only one who believed that I was going to get there, while everyone else refused to. He pushed me hard. He knew I had the potential… and this was someone that I knew less than a year. I took my approach and workout ethic back to formula with him, and I have what I have today, which has made people duck and dodge me in the gym, and training partners quit, leave the gym, and never ever come back. Sure, I still have the desire to be bigger and harder as my drive in the gym. But Ken added to it because he is no longer here to see this. His goals… unfulfilled, are now mine… at least one of them.

I do this for a lot of reasons… suffer through the monotony of the diet, deal with the blinding pain of rebuilding and binding muscles, sacrifice a great part of my better years so that tomorrow, I can be more than I am today… yes, I do it for me, but in his memory, I do it for him as well. This is my drive. Have you found yours?
There are going to be days when it seems like this world, your world… it moves in slow motion. What do we do? REMEMBER. Whatever it is that drives you, find it and hold on to it. Coming to a standstill is only an option when you are in gridlocked rush hour traffic on the way home from work.

I will continue to push, to see that he is honored properly and fittingly…

2010… Arnold Expo… Ken, you and I are getting together for one more good time.

Rest In Peace, brother. You did well.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-14-09, 4:46 pm
You're a great writer bro! I keep checking your page once or twice a day and always love reading new posts. It's like you get in the mind of every lifter and say what we all want to say, but most of us aren't as talented at putting it into words. Keep on writing and I'll keep reading... Shit gets me psyched to hit the weights!


Appreciate the kind words, brother! Good to have you following along!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-15-09, 5:32 pm
Entry Title: Taking Care of Business
2009 May 15


Good food, good times, family and friends, and everyone is having a good time, looking and laughing.

Except me.

The feeding frenzy is underway. I did not come to talk about what happened at work today, or the girl that you saw at the grocery store, or the harassing calls that your ex continues to send you. Yeah, I feel your pain, and I am sorry to hear about it. But right now, this plate of food is more important than any of whatever you are talking about. Whatever you are talking about will not go toward helping me wreck the weights, wreck the stage, and wreck my competition’s plan to place ahead of me. But this plate… this protein and these carbs… this well timed and carefully crafted plan of artistry… this can help. Sure, it is just one meal, but this one meal is one step closer to the desired goal, whether I reach that goal in six more months, or six more years. So excuse me if I do not even so much as grunt in acknowledgement regarding… um… what were you just saying?

It is cool. Whatever. Look at me strangely. Look at me with anger. Look at me however you want to. I understand this is one of those rare family meals where everyone comes together, but what I have going on and what you have going on are two different things entirely… and you guessed it… what I have going on is more interesting to me. You see it as just food. I see it as blocks added to the foundation that I am building on, and fuel to feed the fire. You see it as a time to reconnect with the family. I see it as time myself… indeed… two hours until I do this all again in some form or fashion. And time is not meant to be wasted.

You know who is not wasting time? The other guys I will be competing against. Every misstep I make, they are watching, and waiting for the next one. And I am not going to give them anything to use against me.

Sorry Dad, Mama… Grandmama, and friends. I will catch you at the next gathering… maybe.

Bartles
05-16-09, 5:52 pm
Entry Title: Taking Care of Business
2009 May 15


Good food, good times, family and friends, and everyone is having a good time, looking and laughing.

Except me.

The feeding frenzy is underway. I did not come to talk about what happened at work today, or the girl that you saw at the grocery store, or the harassing calls that your ex continues to send you. Yeah, I feel your pain, and I am sorry to hear about it. But right now, this plate of food is more important than any of whatever you are talking about. Whatever you are talking about will not go toward helping me wreck the weights, wreck the stage, and wreck my competition’s plan to place ahead of me. But this plate… this protein and these carbs… this well timed and carefully crafted plan of artistry… this can help. Sure, it is just one meal, but this one meal is one step closer to the desired goal, whether I reach that goal in six more months, or six more years. So excuse me if I do not even so much as grunt in acknowledgement regarding… um… what were you just saying?

It is cool. Whatever. Look at me strangely. Look at me with anger. Look at me however you want to. I understand this is one of those rare family meals where everyone comes together, but what I have going on and what you have going on are two different things entirely… and you guessed it… what I have going on is more interesting to me. You see it as just food. I see it as blocks added to the foundation that I am building on, and fuel to feed the fire. You see it as a time to reconnect with the family. I see it as time myself… indeed… two hours until I do this all again in some form or fashion. And time is not meant to be wasted.

You know who is not wasting time? The other guys I will be competing against. Every misstep I make, they are watching, and waiting for the next one. And I am not going to give them anything to use against me.

Sorry Dad, Mama… Grandmama, and friends. I will catch you at the next gathering… maybe.

Sounds like every day in the cafeteria. "Why are you eating hamster food?" "How can you eat the same thing everyday?"

I just do, I do it to better myself and my life.

Keep it up bro, I know how it is. Everything you do, every step you take is either a step closer, or farther from your goal. So keep runnin'!

I got fired up just reading the story of your bud, shit sucks man.

Def subed. I'll keep stopping by.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-16-09, 8:01 pm
Sounds like every day in the cafeteria. "Why are you eating hamster food?" "How can you eat the same thing everyday?"

I just do, I do it to better myself and my life.

Keep it up bro, I know how it is. Everything you do, every step you take is either a step closer, or farther from your goal. So keep runnin'!

I got fired up just reading the story of your bud, shit sucks man.

Def subed. I'll keep stopping by.

Thank you stopping by. Enjoy the ride, brother. I am taking everybody on one with this journal.

Survivor831
05-16-09, 10:54 pm
I'm still here bro, and I want you to know that my motivation has been found. Thank you for helping me to not forget it! Stay well, bro!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-16-09, 11:32 pm
I'm still here bro, and I want you to know that my motivation has been found. Thank you for helping me to not forget it! Stay well, bro!

Yo... got to make sure my people stay strong and know that they are not in this alone.

Happy to help!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-18-09, 7:21 am
Entry Title: A Religious Experience
2009 May 18


I came here today to preach. Now, if you think this has anything to do with the 66 books, or some doctrine of any organized religion, you are reading the wrong thing. But yeah, I am here to preach alright.

Of course, only if you worship at my church will you understand. And that church is the altar of the iron, people. When you hit those weights, it needs to be a religious experience.
You need to commune with the faceless, lifeless, all-knowing weight, and pray for mass. Be willing to sacrifice some of yourself for a bountiful return, and submit… bow in the name of that trinity that showed us the way: Schwarzenegger, Yates, and Coleman. Extol the virtues of the Olympic plates, and cast out the ways of the wicked… bad form, bad diet, bad outlook, and all around bad life.

Give your offering dutifully and in a timely fashion so that the doors are not closed to you, and continue to magnify the reverence of the unspoken code and bond of the brotherhood. Visit with your kind, and bring forth the way in a positive light so that those who would forsake you will suffer the smiting of the foolish. All will be good.

That is right… enter the house that Gold’s, Powerhouse, or even the YMCA built, and never desecrate it with the sin of slack lifting, excuses, or indifference. Always care, and always prosper. You will be questioned. You will be judged. Whatever… the judging that you should be concerned with is from that panel in front of your stage. Anyone else is just background noise.

And I leave you today with this final thought… when all is said and done, and you still find yourself faltering, and your faith wavering, ask yourself… what would Evan do?

Yeah… I thought so. It is time to worship.

machineman
05-18-09, 7:39 am
Entry Title: A Religious Experience
2009 May 18


I came here today to preach. Now, if you think this has anything to do with the 66 books, or some doctrine of any organized religion, you are reading the wrong thing. But yeah, I am here to preach alright.

Of course, only if you worship at my church will you understand. And that church is the altar of the iron, people. When you hit those weights, it needs to be a religious experience.
You need to commune with the faceless, lifeless, all-knowing weight, and pray for mass. Be willing to sacrifice some of yourself for a bountiful return, and submit… bow in the name of that trinity that showed us the way: Schwarzenegger, Yates, and Coleman. Extol the virtues of the Olympic plates, and cast out the ways of the wicked… bad form, bad diet, bad outlook, and all around bad life.

Give your offering dutifully and in a timely fashion so that the doors are not closed to you, and continue to magnify the reverence of the unspoken code and bond of the brotherhood. Visit with your kind, and bring forth the way in a positive light so that those who would forsake you will suffer the smiting of the foolish. All will be good.

That is right… enter the house that Gold’s, Powerhouse, or even the YMCA built, and never desecrate it with the sin of slack lifting, excuses, or indifference. Always care, and always prosper. You will be questioned. You will be judged. Whatever… the judging that you should be concerned with is from that panel in front of your stage. Anyone else is just background noise.

And I leave you today with this final thought… when all is said and done, and you still find yourself faltering, and your faith wavering, ask yourself… what would Evan do?

Yeah… I thought so. It is time to worship.

good stuff, bro.....definitely a timely piece since today is day 1 of a cut cycle...thanks for the insiration!! keep on writing and I will keep on reading....

violator
05-18-09, 9:22 am
words wrought from iron....keep em comin G...

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-19-09, 1:24 am
Entry Title: Birthday
2009 May 19



I had a friend who celebrated a birthday recently. They had a good day, and we had a lot to talk about in the days to follow.

Their birthday made me think about mine. No, not that thing that comes around every year… that is nothing but a day to me, no different than the day before it, or the day after it.

No, when I think about my birthday, I think about the day I first set foot in a gym, and began on the journey that has made me what I am now, and will make me what I will be later. That was the day that an animal was born. That is the day when a man began being forged from the fires of searing, deep muscle failure and the tears of my body as I moved weight, unrelenting and merciless in my endeavor, paying the price to be in the game. Oh yes indeed, the day I stepped into the gym, it was go time. I have never looked back, and I dare the challenges of the future to meet me head on, and get twisted in the process.

It was the day when this world was promised a force that would be unlike any other. It was a force that would make a statement here, there, and everywhere, with whoever came in contact with it. It was a force that would be known by many, but understood by few. It was the beginning of life. That day that comes around every year… that is for your girlfriend (boyfriends, for the ladies). That day is for your family. It is for friend and foe alike. But the birthday… the REAL birthday… that is all for you.

Who remembers their birthday? I may not remember the exact day, but that does not even matter. All that does matter is that my birthday came when it was time, and I have been wrecking shit ever since 1993. So now, I know some of you are thinking about your birthday… that glorious day when it seemed like the gates of a parallel universe opened up, swallowed what you were, and spit out what it knew you would need to be in order to make your moves, and put on numerous pounds of get down.

Every day that you take that cold iron in your hand, you celebrate your birthday. The bang of the plates as you load them, the rattle of the poundage as you press or pull… there is your birthday song. Birthday cake? To Hell with that… BIRTHDAY SHAKE!! Your present is a fucking masterpiece that people wish they had, and they will waste no time in telling you. Yeah… now how is that for a birthday celebration?

So whoever you are, wherever you are, raise your protein shaker or water jug high, and toast that great moment in your life...

Happy Birthday, brothers and sisters. Now get in the gym and rip it up as only you can.

machineman
05-19-09, 8:39 am
great piece, bro....my actual b-day is this week, but my iron b-day is in another couple months....this cut will lead me right up to it! what better way to celebrate it than with a newer version of me!! THANKS!!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-19-09, 4:24 pm
great piece, bro....my actual b-day is this week, but my iron b-day is in another couple months....this cut will lead me right up to it! what better way to celebrate it than with a newer version of me!! THANKS!!

Give it all you have got, and after that, find a way to give more.

machineman
05-19-09, 4:30 pm
Give it all you have got, and after that, find a way to give more.

absolutely....there is no other option.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-20-09, 8:19 am
Entry Title: Playing the Lottery
2009 May 20



I bought some Power Ball tickets today… what the hell… you never know, right? I looked at the people around me, some who had decided to take the same chance as me, and some who had a fistful of scratch-and-win cards. And I could see it in all of them… the excitement and the hope. In their eyes, in their eager movements to scratch their way to a small fortune or I could hear it in the voices of those who discussed among themselves what they would do and how much their lives would change if they won.

If. IF? I am not about to have that kind of energy for “IF”.

We do not have to wonder “IF”. We do this, and you have to know that our odds are better than that multimillion dollar lotto. I know I like my chances with my own personal lotto, each and every day that I walk into the gym. The odds of hitting for one hundred and seventy million dollars? So very low. The odds of adding a half inch to your overall width by way of capped delts and an eagle-like wingspan? Much better. I will take those odds any day, and rather than continuing the payout of pocket change that would eventually amount to another tub of protein or cans of the Pak, fund your chances in the weight pit with blood, sweat, tears, and vomit.

Yeah… the chance at a life altering jackpot is pretty cool… but knowing that you are a measurable number of steps from a life altering jackpot of a different sort… yeah… that is the energy that will speak to you, and tell you exactly what time it is in case you forget. When those numbers are released week after week, and those around you face reality and disappointment, you can know that you got your jackpot. And unlike those who do win the money, you do not have to share with others, and your taxes have already been paid, with nothing being withheld… so kick back and enjoy the prize.

The world can have their glowing numbered ping pong balls. I might play their game, but I expect nothing. I play our game though… 25, 35, 45… always winning numbers. ALWAYS.

The next drawing is tomorrow, and I am so anxious that I am shaking in anticipation.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-21-09, 10:20 am
Entry Title: Dream of the Future
2009 May 21



Chillin’ between meals, and just taking it easy in a hammock, my mind started drifting, and man I tell you, I had a dream of the future.

I saw a day when I watched in amazement as I waited for the scale to settle onto a number, to show me that I had finally hit my mark. And I was happy… I felt warm in that vision, and knowing that it would come to pass that all of my attention to detail, and the persistence and desire to see an end to what seemed to be a hellish quest of forever… it would come to an end. I can only imagine what the look on my face was as my mind reached ahead.

And even in seeing that, I still went further… and I saw a day in the gym when I know that I was making unparalleled personal strides in the lifts… tearing myself down, so that I could be rebuilt into a stronger, better, completely unrealized animal that none of my family or friends were used to… one that they would have no choice but to get used to. I saw it clearly… I owned that day, and could see that all those that would follow would be of the same ilk. Hard work and refusing to give up, give in, and give out were no doubt responsible for me being there. This day had not come yet, but still, I was proud… more proud of myself than anything else. The road was long, dark, lonely… but I walked that road, and made it to the destination. Even if the future did not show it, I know I kept traveling that road… walking hard, stalking the next destination, and leaving my mark on the world like a true behemoth.

My mind kept going still, seeking more of what was to come, and I saw myself with the wife, a woman after my own heart… as much of a hard line lifter as I was, and jacked to the hilt. We still hit it hard, and had our own life to share, able to think back on the days before we crossed paths, and able to look forward to the new ones that we would blaze together. We were surrounded by like minds in a much more kind and gentle place… perhaps when the Fucking Dumb Asses (FDA) finally saw the errors in their ways, and just decided to shut the fuck up… life was all about us, what we had done, where we were going, and who we were going to take with us. Brothers and sisters, I tell you… it was great.

And then… I saw one more piece of the future… my mind drifted far… farther than it had gone before… must have been too far, because I do not remember any of it. I fell asleep… had a nice nap. But the memory of all that I had seen moved me… gave me something to focus on, and look forward to.

Maybe you have had your own dream of the future. Somebody out there has to feel me on this…

Well check this out: You can sit there and think about it all, and that is all they will be… dreams. OR, you can get the hell up today, get in there, and be closer to tomorrow and that reality.

Shit… I know what I am going to do. I will see you in our promised land, brothers and sisters. I will be waiting.

machineman
05-21-09, 12:23 pm
Entry Title: Dream of the Future
2009 May 21



Chillin’ between meals, and just taking it easy in a hammock, my mind started drifting, and man I tell you, I had a dream of the future.

I saw a day when I watched in amazement as I waited for the scale to settle onto a number, to show me that I had finally hit my mark. And I was happy… I felt warm in that vision, and knowing that it would come to pass that all of my attention to detail, and the persistence and desire to see an end to what seemed to be a hellish quest of forever… it would come to an end. I can only imagine what the look on my face was as my mind reached ahead.

And even in seeing that, I still went further… and I saw a day in the gym when I know that I was making unparalleled personal strides in the lifts… tearing myself down, so that I could be rebuilt into a stronger, better, completely unrealized animal that none of my family or friends were used to… one that they would have no choice but to get used to. I saw it clearly… I owned that day, and could see that all those that would follow would be of the same ilk. Hard work and refusing to give up, give in, and give out were no doubt responsible for me being there. This day had not come yet, but still, I was proud… more proud of myself than anything else. The road was long, dark, lonely… but I walked that road, and made it to the destination. Even if the future did not show it, I know I kept traveling that road… walking hard, stalking the next destination, and leaving my mark on the world like a true behemoth.

My mind kept going still, seeking more of what was to come, and I saw myself with the wife, a woman after my own heart… as much of a hard line lifter as I was, and jacked to the hilt. We still hit it hard, and had our own life to share, able to think back on the days before we crossed paths, and able to look forward to the new ones that we would blaze together. We were surrounded by like minds in a much more kind and gentle place… perhaps when the Fucking Dumb Asses (FDA) finally saw the errors in their ways, and just decided to shut the fuck up… life was all about us, what we had done, where we were going, and who we were going to take with us. Brothers and sisters, I tell you… it was great.

And then… I saw one more piece of the future… my mind drifted far… farther than it had gone before… must have been too far, because I do not remember any of it. I fell asleep… had a nice nap. But the memory of all that I had seen moved me… gave me something to focus on, and look forward to.

Maybe you have had your own dream of the future. Somebody out there has to feel me on this…

Well check this out: You can sit there and think about it all, and that is all they will be… dreams. OR, you can get the hell up today, get in there, and be closer to tomorrow and that reality.

Shit… I know what I am going to do. I will see you in our promised land, brothers and sisters. I will be waiting.

yet another great piece.....hold that door for a moment if you would.....I am walking in right behind ya!! Gave me a little extra something to ponder until this afternoon when I walk into the gym to claim what is mine.....thanks......

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-21-09, 1:04 pm
yet another great piece.....hold that door for a moment if you would.....I am walking in right behind ya!! Gave me a little extra something to ponder until this afternoon when I walk into the gym to claim what is mine.....thanks......

Go get it, brother. You definitely have the right attitude.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-22-09, 9:31 am
Entry Title: Face Time
2009 May 22



You see them… you hear them… you know, THEM. The naysayers, the everyday, outspoken orators, the know-it-alls, and the completely ignorant… you are well aware of who they are. They ask if you really want to be that big. They try to tell you that creatine is a steroid, and that you are breaking the law. They tell you… well, hell, you know what they tell you… you have probably heard it all, will hear some today, and can bet money that you will hear more of it tomorrow.

Well fuck them. Be like me, and refuse to give them face time.
Do I like all of those veins on my arms and chest? Hell yeah… I love being able to map out the path to Kingdom Come on my body. Do I like my chicken and green beans every single day? Not really, but it is not for me to like, and I am not interested in being the Stay Puft© marshmallow man like you. Is that all I do… work out? Maybe. Is that all you do… spread out?

No more face time. The time you spend listening to that song-and-dance is time that can be put toward ensuring you get extra reps on the next go round. The time you spend listening to them talk about how you will be fat once you stop training altogether is the time you could be checking off things on your to-do list for getting the arms for war ready for tomorrow’s battle. The time you spend listening to some skinny fat cardio bunny tell you how she knew so-and-so, and he did such-and-such, and now he is in a bad way and you should not be doing what you are doing, you could be taking a nap, letting the body go to work to help show off the fruits of you labor later down the line. Or… you could just stand there, listen to it all, and let them slowly bring you into their fold.

Our numbers are strong, and even though they are growing, we do not want to lose even one. All they want to do is bring you down. Are you going to let them? ARE YOU?

HELL NO.

No face time. They will hate you for that. You will love them for that. And the floor will be yours to do as you please.

zanderfever
05-24-09, 5:00 pm
Shit, Gaoshang. This journey is intense and I have to admit, I like it. I'll be reading this for a while to come.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-24-09, 5:58 pm
Shit, Gaoshang. This journey is intense and I have to admit, I like it. I'll be reading this for a while to come.

It is going to be a bumpy ride. Be ready.

violator
05-25-09, 2:32 am
Hell No!....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-25-09, 8:28 am
Hell No!....

Right on, brother! Time is precious to those who care.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-25-09, 8:30 am
Entry Title: Ain't No Sunshine
2009 May 25



It is a long road, and it is dark most of the way. There are those moments of light and color here and there, but for the most part, it is black and white. Gritty. Urban. Empty. Sometimes, in the search for something good and real, this is what it comes to.
To those on the outside looking in at us, sacrifice means entirely too much. To us, it is just a word, although we know the weight it carries, and the importance of due diligence. No one understands. But we do. And to make it in this game, you have to want something. You have to need something. Regardless of how things look, you have to roll out of bed, hit the gym, punch the clock at work, get all of your meals in, pay the bills, go to bed, and then have the fortitude and wherewithal to do it all again the next day… no parties… no magic moments… no birds flying around chirping and singing some happy song while you are on the move. Ain’t no sunshine on this fucking road.

But I will tell you what is on this road… life, and living, on your own terms. It may not seem like much to some, but if you are happy with it, live that shit, love that shit, fuck that shit that the outsiders are talking about, because that is what is going to get you from A to B. When that 315 pounds tells you to work, become a slave, do what it wants, and ask for seconds. Living and loving in a dark and cold hell where you rule was not meant to be pretty. It was meant to be productive. It was meant to be damning. And the moment you took that silent oath to surrender it all to the iron, you chose the life that was meant to be yours.

You want friends? You have a full and supportive legion at your disposal. You want truth? Do not expect it from the outsiders… they will blow smoke up your ass, give you empty dreams, and have you hoping for what will eventually become broken promises. Among them, we walk alone. But we know that we walk hundreds and thousands strong, stronger than those in the warm, sunny world of mediocre complacency.

I remember being that way once. Looking back on it, it sucked ass. Never again, at least not until I take the dirt nap. I can deal with no sunshine beating down on me, slowing me down, and making me not care about where I am going or what I am doing. That works just fine for me.

That is real shit, and the real understand the real.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
05-26-09, 8:05 am
Entry Title: Puttin' In Work
2009 May 26



I remember once talking to a friend, and he was telling a story of how his grandfather had delivered this crushing, silverback gorilla type blow that put him down on the floor. Now, my boy was not a small guy, although not especially huge either. But his grandfather, 78-years-old, had spent his years working in a steel foundry. And we are talking several decades worth of work… everyday, sun to sun, in a furnace, hauling that steel back and forth. 78-years-old, never touched a weight in his life, and never saw a gym even once, but was as solid as the steel that was produced, dense and thick, layered with mature old-man muscle. And if any of you know anything about the elderly, you know for as frail as they may look at times, they find some kind of ungodly strength from out of nowhere. Anyone who doubts that, head over to your grandmother’s house and start acting an ass. Let her get a hold of you, and see what happens.

What that story told me was that his grandfather had put in the work… just of a different nature.

Brothers and sisters, this grandfather clearly is the model that we can base our struggle around every day. Imagine the muscle you are building now in twenty, thirty or forty years… how hard, powerful, and almost indestructible it can be. I wish more people could have seen that old man. People would not be able to use something like age as an excuse. That would be one more thing to shut them up… one more small victory for the cause.
That is what it is all about… putting in the hard work. Do you know your limit? A better question would be…

… do you even have one? Yeah… think about THAT one.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-03-09, 12:22 pm
Entry Title: Going Back Home
2009 June 03


The time comes when you have to step back, and let the body catch up to the constant battering you subject it to. No rest… no growth. 12-16 weeks straight is hard on the body.
And then, the rest period comes. A week, maybe… and does it not feel like the world is closing in on you? Do you not feel like there was an instant shrinkage the second you put down the weight on your last rep? Man, I know, even if the rest is for the greater good, I feel like I am living a slow Hell. I want to move, I want to life, I want to go. But it is needed. But that said, it fucking sucks. Sucks like a vacuum, just taking all of the life and zest out of me.

But when I get back to it… ah yes, when I return home… it is so great. I am reunited with the tightness that I longed for… I can visualize a massive amount of blood being rushed and forced into a small space, a space much too small to accept the full capacity, but taking it anyway. It is hard to move, and I dig it. I like the way it feels under heavy, crushing weight. I need it. The groans from the residual soreness that follow for days are a swan song to me, and I know that I have to have it.

I miss the moments when I cross from the light to the dark, and find that ugly place that I go to for the fuel for this fire. I miss my friends Ivanko, Olympic, and Hammer Strength, and they welcome me on my return. I can feel with each rep that they missed me too. The gathering is close to something of Biblical proportions, and all is good.
And when it is all over, being the certified endorphin junkie that I am, I get my fix. Even before the high is over, I want the next one, knowing that I am going to push the limit even further to get it.

It is all or nothing in this shit. Rest time is over… Time to get back into the thick of it.

wedge
06-03-09, 1:36 pm
Keep 'em coming GX.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-04-09, 6:08 pm
Entry Title: Our Gym
2009 June 04



Brothers and sisters, one day, it is going down… going down the way we need it to.

Have you seen our homes lately? We make do in them, because we have to share them with the visions of corporate America (both on foreign AND domestic soil), and the shaking, nervous soccer moms and wannabe players who think the key to having a chick magnet’s physique is found in the pages of Muscle and Fiction magazine, detailed in the latest 10-minute, three time a week workout.

What the fuck?!

Our homes have become color coded accidents that we just cannot avoid. And truth be told, hardcore is in the heart, not the location, so it should not matter where we are.
HOWEVER, I know what I want… I know what others want… so I am here to tell you, one more time… IT IS GOING DOWN.

Yes… one day… my gym… OUR GYM… will be open. Hell yes…

Imagine if you will… you walk through the entrance and all you see is gray… nothing but exposed cinder blocks. Not a window in sight, except for the entry door. This is the cardio area. Yes, cardio is no fun, but in this place, it is all about business. You pay attention to the task at hand, and not what is outside. Since some people cannot grasp that concept… no windows, to make it easier for you. All you will see is suffering. But this will be part of the price you pay for a freaky sliced and diced masterpiece, so you will just have to suck it the fuck up.

Moving back past cardio Hell, you will pass a set of stairs heading down. Is it leg day for you? Head down to the basement. That is right, people… pray for death on the way up and down those stairs, because that is your test to see if you had a good leg day. Make it up with no problem, and you did not try hard enough. Start up the stairs, and stumble or fall back to the bottom?? Congratulations. THAT was a kick ass leg day. But you have to get up on your own… we sure as hell are not going to help you. Pay your dues like everyone else. Good luck to you.

The weight pit at the top of those stairs will be where the rest of the torture takes place. We allow chains. We allow chalk. We allow deadlifts. Aggression is allowed. Struggle is allowed. Pussies are not. If hard work and dedication scare you, you will want to stay your scared ass out in the parking lot… or better yet, drive to some posh, bright, sterile fitness trap, where they want the unmotivated and lazy. Our gym is a breeding ground, and we would just see you as an easy slaughter. We have a need to fulfill. We have no idea why you would be there.

My vision of our gym has a posing room also. No longer having to use the aerobics room, every possible angle will be available to be able to see yourself so that you can get the best idea where you need to put in the work. Guesswork is for suckers. Come to our gym, and you will know for fact. . And, to keep you motivated and in that frame of mind for excellence... pictures of the greats, male and female, on the wall, looking on in silent judgment. Get your mind right, and do not disappoint them.

Does the gym’s music choice bother you? Not our gym… nothing but angry, violent, earnest, and loud death metal… maybe some appropriate rap. We will keep it real. This game is about hunger… determination… respect. This is the pit, brothers and sisters, not a 60’s sock hop. That bubblegum pop rock shit does not work in our world.

Just for the hell of it, there might even be an old school pro shop there.

Until then, we make it work, wherever we are. We trudge our paths, and make our stands… give our all for something that is far greater than anything material that could even be given to us. It is what it is…

But I guarantee you, a better day, and a better gym is coming.

violator
06-05-09, 3:36 am
man...i wanna workout in that gym!....

zanderfever
06-07-09, 5:18 pm
Gaoshang, if you open up that gym then I will move and live there. For the privilege of working out there, you have someone willing to live there.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-08-09, 8:39 am
Entry Title: For Identification Purposes Only
2009 June 08



All things are not created equal. It would be nice, but it is not going to happen. When you are next throwing down with the weight, step the hell back and analyze that shit for a second. You are there with a purpose. You walked in for a reason. You want something. You are chasing something. And you know you are going to get a stranglehold on it. BUT… you are not going to get it by cramming everything under the sun into training, flailing about, and looking like a chicken with its head cut off.

Sure, a standing French press might look cool to everyone there, but your time to look cool and attract attention comes later, in a packed auditorium in front of a jury of four to six. Gym time is business. It is work. You celebrate your banker’s hours daily and get your pay every two weeks. Well, the gym is your office as well. Put in good work… receive great pay. So, find what works for you, get your gains, and exploit your system every way possible. I would rather lay to rest someone’s stage ambitions of placing higher than my time.

You may have the strength to handle every conceivable triceps movement known to man, but if you can figure out the one or two meat and potatoes movements that will make them sing with growth, then why not bust ass on those? If you have a weak area (and we all do), quit spinning your wheels, find the solution, and rip it up. Nothing screams clueless more than someone who just goes in circles and goes through the motions, but gets nowhere. You are better than that.

So to all of you, my brothers and sisters, find your way… know it… LIVE IT. Know where you are in your journey so that you can adjust and make your travel easier and more rewarding. You have a destination. Goddamnit, you are going to get there. And then when some unsuspecting innocent finds their way into your world, on your stage against you… fuck their mind, and leave them twisted like a pretzel. I guarantee you that they will never try that shit again.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-08-09, 8:44 am
man...i wanna workout in that gym!....


Gaoshang, if you open up that gym then I will move and live there. For the privilege of working out there, you have someone willing to live there.

Oh believe me, it is going down.

I am planning to relocate to Florida next year. Provided that I feel like that is where I will want to permanantly settle (I do want to experience one full year, plus the storm season to see if I have the guts to ride it out), I know I will give myself several years to get it up and running.

RUEHS
06-10-09, 10:46 pm
Entry Title: Our Gym
2009 June 04



Brothers and sisters, one day, it is going down… going down the way we need it to.

Have you seen our homes lately? We make do in them, because we have to share them with the visions of corporate America (both on foreign AND domestic soil), and the shaking, nervous soccer moms and wannabe players who think the key to having a chick magnet’s physique is found in the pages of Muscle and Fiction magazine, detailed in the latest 10-minute, three time a week workout.

What the fuck?!

Our homes have become color coded accidents that we just cannot avoid. And truth be told, hardcore is in the heart, not the location, so it should not matter where we are.
HOWEVER, I know what I want… I know what others want… so I am here to tell you, one more time… IT IS GOING DOWN.

Yes… one day… my gym… OUR GYM… will be open. Hell yes…

Imagine if you will… you walk through the entrance and all you see is gray… nothing but exposed cinder blocks. Not a window in sight, except for the entry door. This is the cardio area. Yes, cardio is no fun, but in this place, it is all about business. You pay attention to the task at hand, and not what is outside. Since some people cannot grasp that concept… no windows, to make it easier for you. All you will see is suffering. But this will be part of the price you pay for a freaky sliced and diced masterpiece, so you will just have to suck it the fuck up.

Moving back past cardio Hell, you will pass a set of stairs heading down. Is it leg day for you? Head down to the basement. That is right, people… pray for death on the way up and down those stairs, because that is your test to see if you had a good leg day. Make it up with no problem, and you did not try hard enough. Start up the stairs, and stumble or fall back to the bottom?? Congratulations. THAT was a kick ass leg day. But you have to get up on your own… we sure as hell are not going to help you. Pay your dues like everyone else. Good luck to you.

The weight pit at the top of those stairs will be where the rest of the torture takes place. We allow chains. We allow chalk. We allow deadlifts. Aggression is allowed. Struggle is allowed. Pussies are not. If hard work and dedication scare you, you will want to stay your scared ass out in the parking lot… or better yet, drive to some posh, bright, sterile fitness trap, where they want the unmotivated and lazy. Our gym is a breeding ground, and we would just see you as an easy slaughter. We have a need to fulfill. We have no idea why you would be there.

My vision of our gym has a posing room also. No longer having to use the aerobics room, every possible angle will be available to be able to see yourself so that you can get the best idea where you need to put in the work. Guesswork is for suckers. Come to our gym, and you will know for fact. . And, to keep you motivated and in that frame of mind for excellence... pictures of the greats, male and female, on the wall, looking on in silent judgment. Get your mind right, and do not disappoint them.

Does the gym’s music choice bother you? Not our gym… nothing but angry, violent, earnest, and loud death metal… maybe some appropriate rap. We will keep it real. This game is about hunger… determination… respect. This is the pit, brothers and sisters, not a 60’s sock hop. That bubblegum pop rock shit does not work in our world.

Just for the hell of it, there might even be an old school pro shop there.

Until then, we make it work, wherever we are. We trudge our paths, and make our stands… give our all for something that is far greater than anything material that could even be given to us. It is what it is…

But I guarantee you, a better day, and a better gym is coming.


I'm now turned 19 moved out of my parents home at 18 and moved 3hrs away to a place and job better suited for my bodybuilding needs. Now when such a gym opens as you have described there, I have no question in my mind that I will move to wherever it is.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-20-09, 8:47 am
Been away from this for a few days, as you can tell. I will be back here throwing it down Monday. Looks like I will be writing a little more though... I am writing for an online newspaper of sorts now, and possibly looking at a future book with all of these essays and more in it...

More news to come as I get it.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-22-09, 5:59 pm
Entry Title: Rise
2009 June 22


Several months ago, I was the victim of… let us just call it a strategic reorganization. For months, I had dealt with blow after blow, as the reigns were pulled in tighter and tighter on expenditures, and then finally, my luck ran out. And I have been looking for work ever since.
Today, I was out on the hunt, and I found myself passing through a section of the city that I once lived in, and found that it had gone to Hell. This once bustling and thriving area was now a mere shell of its former self. It was depressing, and so were the people there. It looked like people had given up, stopped caring, and the area paid the price. Whether that actually is true or not, I do not know. But I do know this… that shit is real life.

Then I think about the beatings that my body takes in the gym, and how when it is darkest and bleak some days, when I am losing my mind with want for a Pepsi, but instead go and refill my water jug to keep on bringing pure life in… or when I know how good three double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a strawberry shake from the clown house will taste, but I pass for something less exciting… when I could just easily pick my moment in the sun and say “fuck it” and go for mine. I think about those moments that have come, gone, and know that others will soon be here. I think about all of those, and instead of giving up and giving in to what is natural in life, I choose the unnatural path in life… willing sacrifice, dedication, and what most would consider sadistic self torture.

Yeah, life is laid out for us all. Do we always like it? Fuck no! But… and I know my brothers and sisters in the Legion understand this, and this is why I say what I say here among the people who mean the most and will object the least… you know as well as I know that even though life gets in our way… we will rise.

Out there, yeah, it is life. We have another life as well, and it is in the silver and gunmetal gray world of the weight pits. That shit is real too. We have a bailout plan called a spotter, if necessary. We have a stimulus check too… a biting slap or two on the lower back before a crushing set of squats, or a whiff of an ammonia cap before a loaded bar on the floor is owned, rattling its ecstasy in its submission. Out there, in the world, we may or may not have a chance in the outcome. In the pit… fuck yeah, that is our shit, and no one can tell us otherwise. Life for us in the gym is just as real as life is for us out there in the world. The DOW falls… NASDAQ… NYSE, ABC, XYZ, and whatever other alphabet combination you can think of… it all falls. Breaks us down, and shits on our spirits. It slows everything and everyone down. And just like in the gym, it all comes down, breaks us, busts us, leaves us dazed (secretly wanting more though!). In the end, we are not much different that that area of the city that I saw.

But unlike that area of the city, we are not going to give up. Whoever you are, wherever you are, right now… say this and mean it, because there is only one way to get where you are trying to go, and standing still is not the way. You want shit as bad as I want shit, otherwise, you would not even be doing this shit. So, like you mean it… for you, for me, for all of us... spit that shit:

WE WILL FUCKING RISE.

Get the hell in that gym, and show it and this life no mercy.

kraken
06-22-09, 6:43 pm
What's up GX?
Great reads in here. As always, you have a way with words.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-22-09, 8:58 pm
What's up GX?
Great reads in here. As always, you have a way with words.

Yo...

Well, I was getting a bit too real for some guys over there, so I found my outlet here.

I have been somewhat preoccupied for the past few days, but I am back to throw it down here everyday again.

violator
06-23-09, 1:45 am
WE WILL FUCKIN RISE!

keep on keepin it real bro.....congrats on the column/ book....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-23-09, 9:46 pm
WE WILL FUCKIN RISE!

keep on keepin it real bro.....congrats on the column/ book....

Thanks, bro. I am really excited to be doing it.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-23-09, 9:50 pm
Entry Title: Blitzkrieg
2009 June 23


My younger brother wanted to work out with me today. He was thrilled to be able to get in the gym and mix it up with me, because he knows that I mean business, will make him work, and am not going to let him short change himself. So, as we walked toward the entrance, he asked me what we were doing today, and I told him chest and triceps... "Follow me".

We got in there, and tore it up, as only I know how to. I am not like some of those other guys… do a set, take five minutes to rest and talk. We have nothing to talk about. We have weight to move, and running your mouth is wasting your breath. And I am not having that. The only words you get from me is whatever I have to tell you to move the iron, and to grunt what the next weight is. Five sets in on incline dumbbell press (10, 10, 8, 8, and 6, which he could not even get), and he was starting to feel the constriction of his chest. No down time, though. He got up, and I sat him right back down. Incline flyes followed. Five sets later, he found himself being moved over to the pec deck for a heavy failure set. The reps were looking good, up until about the fifth rep. Then they became ugly. We had to force a few, and then just like that, it was over.

He was hardly able to catch his breath when I took him back to the adjustable bench, set it to flat, and picked up a dumbbell for overhead triceps extension. These did not go over too well with him… fine for me though… triceps are one of my strongest, if not THE strongest point for me. Five sets, ending in a failed attempt at 80 lbs. for him, and then we moved on to bench dips… five sets of 20, which I cut down to 3 sets of 20, because his tri’s were fried.

Brutal. Honest. Eye opening. It was all of this and more, and it was all done in a little style that I like to call Blitzkrieg. Start, and do not stop. Go, go, go, pass it, and do not even think about collecting the $200… fuck that. The payday can wait, but when it does come around, it will be worth it.

It sounds like it was all bad for him… but no, it was not. He held his own, and I was damn proud of that. He went through that unrelenting Hell while people actually stopped what they were doing to watch us… a guy sat in the leg extension, watched the incline press, and said “That hurt to watch”. A couple of women moved from the back of the gym to a machine right behind us to get a better look, standing there with their mouths open so wide, you could drive a Mack truck through them. And as I moved to and from place to place, stalking this Animal’s feeding ground, people looked at me like I was some mutant, fresh from the pages of a Marvel comic. Not that there is just a lot to look at here… but then again, when someone who seriously gives a shit comes into the place, I guess we can do nothing but stand out.

And it seemed like as soon as it started, it was over. We moved out to an open area around the basketball, and dug in for abs.

BUT…

The fault in the blitzkrieg is that if you allow yourself any time to slow down, when it is time to go again, you find out just how spent you really are. Yep… that short walk from the weight area to the open space around the basketball was too long. The blitzkrieg does not rely on strength. It relies on pure adrenaline, and willpower. Once you end the onslaught though, that is it. So ab training was pretty light… hey, I can admit it. It damn sure will not stay that way, I guarantee it. Then we headed for the car. Arms tight, chest screaming… good times, indeed. I knew it had been a good day when, reaching for my seatbelt, I had to pull it halfway over my body and bite on the strap to hold it until I could bring my other arm over to grab it and pull it the rest of the way. The turns through the parking lot did not feel so hot, and there were groans… Ah… sweet relief, this pump of the muscle. There is nothing like it in the world. I love it. I am already ready for the next rush, pounding the muscles hard and mercilessly. And believe it or not, I still have grip training to go, so more pain and pleasure for me.

I live for this shit.

charlievanriper
06-23-09, 10:24 pm
Dude you are my hero, I love reading your shit man. Tell it like it is.
Bro you are Awesome, keep writing and keep lifting your an inspiration.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-23-09, 11:03 pm
Dude you are my hero, I love reading your shit man. Tell it like it is.
Bro you are Awesome, keep writing and keep lifting your an inspiration.

I appreciate that, brother... I really do. Thank you for following along!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-24-09, 11:49 am
Entry Title: A Little Slice of Hell
2009 June 24


The beatdown that comes in the gym is a labor of love for something better. The kitchen is ground zero for the fortress that we construct, where the foundation is laid and strengthened. The months go by, and soon enough, we reach the end of the line, when we arrive at the proving grounds… the cut.

Cardio comes… and it sucks. But we do it. We will ourselves to put up with it, shedding fat, and praying that we do not burn off too much muscle in the process, lest we be set back by being overzealous. In the end, we look in the mirror, or we look out at the crowd standing on their feet giving us a thunderous applause, or we see that sparkle of excitement in the eye of our significant other as they visually devour their naked plaything… or, it can any number of reasons, and we know why we do this.

Some of us keep the cardio going even if not on a cut. Regardless of when it comes, it bites, and bites hard. I know I am not exactly fond of it, and I do not know many who are. Whether I am swimming, doing roadwork, jumping rope, or running stairs from the basement to the roof of a three story building in under 30 seconds, I will admit it… cardio is just a little slice of Hell.

But it is a Hell that I will gladly accept. We all have a choice, and I choose to look like perfection, born from an overactive imagination, immortalized in stone, and standing front and center in a museum of modern art. And for this, cardio is a necessary evil. What are you going to do? Bust ass to build and improve and keep it covered? Or do you want to put it on display, and show the world how you roll?

Yeah… I thought so.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-25-09, 8:12 pm
Entry Title: My Theme Music
2009 June 25


Today, as I was preparing for my first set of weighted wide grip pull-ups, my iPod Shuffle spit the next bit of audio anger at me, and what it gave me was what I have adopted as my theme song. Hell, this needs to be the official Animal song, actually. So I will share it.

Hell yeah... I love this shit. 'Knee Deep' by Devildriver. If I am sharing all of my other thoughts with you guys (and girls, because I know some of you have to be reading too), I can share this too:


What do I have to do…for this?

I love this, please push me harder
I just keep getting meaner
I’m growing from the pain
How about you? (Shit)

Life, it’s hard, it makes me stronger
A warrior seeking victory
I’ll push it ‘til the end, push it ‘til the end
Push it ‘til the end, (shit) the end, (shit) the end

Knee deep in the shit
All together in the pit
All forever in the shit for this (x2)

Pirate, poet, fucking killer
It’s all what you’ve made me
What has life made you?
Made you... (shit)

Life, chalk it up to desire
Of which I’ve had my fill
I just keep pushing forward, keep pushing forward still
Keep pushing forward still, (shit), still, (shit), still

Knee deep in the shit
All together in the pit
All forever in the shit for this (x2)

So if you feel the need, bring it, bring it
And if you just want to spit it out, bring it, bring it
And if you just see your way clear then, bring it, bring it

Knee deep in the shit
All together in the pit
All forever in the shit for this (x2)

Knee deep in the shit
For this
Knee deep in the shit
For this

Vaze_06
06-25-09, 8:33 pm
aah bro. thank u! perfect when i'll want to max out. lol
ooh and thanks to think abou the ladies too ;p

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-25-09, 10:14 pm
aah bro. thank u! perfect when i'll want to max out. lol
ooh and thanks to think abou the ladies too ;p

It is my pleasure to share it! And there is no way that I would forget my sisters of the iron... not a chance in Hell.

Vaze_06
06-25-09, 11:43 pm
It is my pleasure to share it! And there is no way that I would forget my sisters of the iron... not a chance in Hell.

ahah, even if u did... i would be waiting for u down there and kick your ass anyways. so its all good lol
i would Love to join your gym, tho i Refuse to be the maid and clean up on my own... hardcore doesnt mean dirty messy pigs... the minimum is required otherwise u Will categories as a pussy and be kick out. imo makes sense =p

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-26-09, 12:09 am
ahah, even if u did... i would be waiting for u down there and kick your ass anyways. so its all good lol
i would Love to join your gym, tho i Refuse to be the maid and clean up on my own... hardcore doesnt mean dirty messy pigs... the minimum is required otherwise u Will categories as a pussy and be kick out. imo makes sense =p

I am going to require some basic cleanliness as well... bathrooms, and the like. No frills, for sure... that is what I have in mind. BUT, it is not going to be so down and dirty that people will need to get a tetanus shot to come in.

I remember the Powerhouse in Highland Park, Michigan... one day, these two guys came in, and were training legs. Well, one of them gets going really good on the leg extension, and we hear this loud hack. We turn around to see him spew all over the floor. Looked painful. But he sat his ass back up and banged out a few more reps to finish the set. We all just started clapping.

Now, while I can appreciate something like that, I still would rather someone just make their way to a garbage can, because someone would have to clean that up, and I do not want to be the one... and I will make sure there is one at each squat rack!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-26-09, 10:59 am
Entry Title: Stranger
2009 June 26



Man, I do not even fucking know you.

That is what went through my mind this morning as I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Different than what I used to be, but not yet what I wanted to be, I see nothing but a man trapped in Limbo, suffering from some kind of mind fuck. Yeah, I have put in the time, and have reaped some reward… but in the grand scheme of things, this shit is nothing but a drop in the bucket, and the motherfucker is deep.

I have the tools. I have the talent. I have the know-how. I have the time. And yet, it just does not seem like enough. I am guilty of wanting… of dreaming. I dream big. But that son of a bitch looking back at me is not big. Well, at least, not big enough… bigger than this time two years ago. But that is a small consolation for me… I want what I want, and I will not stop until the mission is complete.

In the gym, people stare, whisper, get skittish, and do anything else to show that they are out of their element when they are in mine. They can see it in my eyes, and feel it in every rep that they watch me do, but are too relaxed in their endeavors to do themselves… they know I want it. They have to know that I need it. The urge to crush poundage is as strong as the heartbeat inside of me, and it cannot be denied. I would not even know how to if I wanted to… that is how I know this journey is real, and how I know that there will be no getting off course. Give me the gritty, grimy, hard to tow purgatory of this pursuit anytime; watch me eat it like 12 oz. of flank steak, and ask for more. I know where I am going, and it is not in sight just yet, but I know it will be, and I cannot even sit still while thinking about it. Yes, indeed, someone better is coming.

That is right, goddamnit… I know who I am looking for, but that motherfucker in the mirror is not him; he is a stranger. You know… I might just want too much… nah… fuck that, there is no such thing. I want my absolute best. There is nothing wrong with that. And anyone who would tell me otherwise is injecting something other than Cyp or EQ, and they need to go back to wherever the fuck they came from. This is not going to get me down. In fact, seeing this stranger is exactly what I need some days. He pushes me to go farther every day. I still do not like his weak ass though… fucking stranger.

But oh yeah… when he, that image that I have envisioned, when he finally does show up, you can most certainly believe that it will be party time.

charlievanriper
06-26-09, 11:48 am
Definately been thier bro

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-29-09, 5:14 pm
Entry Title: Go Time
2009 June 29


I do not know about you, but when I step in the gym, I feel a completely new energy take over me. It comes out of nowhere, and permeates every fiber of my being, making its way deep down to the bone, to the soul, and into the psyche. The cold steel will never look more inviting than it does in that moment when I make my way inside, and see my iron playground again for the first time. Every day is like the first time for me, and while others just see benches, racks, weights, and work, you know people like us see something entirely different.

I do not know about you, but what I see is the proving ground. Who am I proving anything to? Myself. The others guys at the gym know the score with me… I do what I do for me, not them. I push and push, give and give on each rep in each set until I have nothing more. It is not about them… never has been, never will be.

I do not know about you, but when I look at each spot that I am going to take over, I can hear it… smell it… fucking taste it… the doubt that some hapless soul left there, left it waiting for me, left it looking to infect me, and derail me and take me off course. But I say no… fuck that… it is not going down like that. Sliding under that bar on the bench, or under the weight in the squat rack, I am so alive that it is scary… and anything that remains to drain me and my spirit get treated like a redhead stepchild. Getting a stranglehold on a dumbbell like I am trying to squeeze the life out of it, leaving the knurled imprint in my hand and moving through empty space regardless of weight means everything to me. Hell yes, this is Life. This is living. And I am glad to be a part of it… to have it be a part of me.

Being in the thick of it all… in the trenches everyday in this game… that is what it is all about. Making something out of what I consider to be nothing… knowing that every move I make counts as me wanting it more than the next person… this is how it should be. You, out there reading this… tell me… can you feel it? That beating, pulsing, drive to push it to the limit, and then smash through the wall… tell me… do you know that feeling? Every day, when that call of the iron beckons you, how do you answer? It is feebly, meekly, and lacking? Or is it like a true iron warrior should, living one rep at a time, letting everybody and everything know where you fucking stand?

You have an answer, right? Good… it is go time.

Vaze_06
06-29-09, 10:55 pm
ah the adrenaline shot i get while driving to the gym.. never the same but fuck its freaking nice... nice post as usual

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-29-09, 11:26 pm
ah the adrenaline shot i get while driving to the gym.. never the same but fuck its freaking nice... nice post as usual

I have had to contain it so that I did not crash in the street. But once I got to the gym, it was ready to blow like a geyser.

It is rare (at least for me) to hear of a woman knowing and understanding this feeling. Fucking awesome!!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-30-09, 5:53 pm
Entry Title: A Lot of Talk... A Lot of Nothing
2009 June 30


Why does everyone want to tell us what they used to do, or what they want to do, or what they can do, or what they are going to do? Why does everyone feel the need to tell us, instead of actually just doing it? What the hell is the point? Is it to impress us? Is it to try to fit in? Is it to make us bow down to their awesomeness? Fucking hell… if you want to impress someone, do something… anything. Talk is cheap.

It is all talk, and they are saying absolutely nothing.

There was a point in our lives… each and every one of us… where we made that decision to cross the great divide that separated us from what we knew ourselves to be. And every day, in the gym, we bear the weight of many dreams and countless desires in the rack, on the bench, or we have it waiting at our feet. We do not give a shit… weight is weight, and it will be moved. Our battle cry will be heard and seen on our faces, while those who stand around to watch will bear witness to a destruction that they cannot even imagine, because if they could, they would be doing it themselves.

Doing something is dirty. Moving weight satisfies that animalistic urge to dominate. Instead, Joe Blow from yesteryear runs his yap… but we are not listening. One look at us, and anyone would know that we rule shit. Our lives bend and are shaped by our will because we have it in us to make it so. We do not want to hear about how you used to be… what you are going to do… what you think you can do… who said what, where, why, and how… man, we cannot be bothered with that shit. This is why they never get anywhere. This is why they look to us… because we represent like a motherfucker. And yeah, it is true… we are not all bigger than life. But in the grand scheme of things, yeah, we are, and they know it.

While they all talk, and say nothing, we do not utter a word but still say plenty.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-07-09, 11:35 pm
Entry Title: Badges of Honor (War is Hell)
2009 July 7



I look at them… think about the effects… feel every second of them… I love it. And I fucking earned every last one of them.

Whether it be the calluses on my palms, or the cracked and ripped skin that just will not heal, and stays dry… it is mine, and I own it. Whether it be the calluses on my feet as, even through my shoes, I dig into the floor when I deadlift or squat… or the mangled skin from diamond knurling shredding my shins when pulling weight from ground zero that heals, becoming something ugly … I embrace it, and cherish it. Unloading the weight, replacing it on the rack… I may get my finger caught between two plates, and watch it turn a shade of red that I have never seen, and go numb… whatever… that is not going to stop me. My stretch marks… not that many, but they are there, and they are all mine, letting anybody who doubts me see otherwise… increasing poundage is my business, and the shit is booming.

In the middle of the night, a muscle spasm may wake my ass up, and have me seeing stars… fine… I will take that. In waging war with the iron, I may sprain a wrist or an ankle… hey, shit happens. But I am not going to complain. This is my life, and in the gym, I am living the motherfucker on my terms. If I have bruises on my thighs from resting the dumbbells from the heavy end of the rack on them before a set of presses, then you know what? They needed to be there, and I am glad for them. If the wrist straps are so tight that they cut into my skin and leave an imprint, then I am happy to be a marked man… you will not hear me bitch about it.

I will take it all with no hesitation… no regret… no fear. Every drop of blood, every bead of sweat, every shallow breath, every evil thought of not being the best fraying my mind wherever I may be… physical and mental scars, I want them… I want them all, whenever and however they come. I am more than alive with them, and would be worse than dead without them. This is what separates me from them… this is part of it. It gets real, and I would have it no other way. They take it easy to avoid the work, and to keep themselves looking all delicate and shit. Damn that; fuck the pretty. I would rather look like I was born to be granite hard than someone who refused to go to war in order to get there. And no matter what, it would not keep me off of the front line of my campaign.

Yeah, the shit gets rough. But goddamnit, I am not scared. Bring it on.

wedge
07-08-09, 2:25 pm
Keep spitting the truth bro.
Always a good read. From the heart.

machineman
07-08-09, 7:27 pm
Keep spitting the truth bro.
Always a good read. From the heart.

X2....can't wait for another entry!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-08-09, 9:34 pm
Entry Title: Can't Be Scared
2009 July 8



The gym… 17:32 hrs.

As always, I see it. I feel it. I smell it. It is obscene.

With my hand wrapped around the bar, and a presence that not only commands respect, but dictates like I own the place, it comes… the fear. Oh… I am not scared of a damn thing. But they are. The regular time wasters, used to my controlled rage with the triple digit – and on occasion, quadruple digit - numbers, still find themselves in shock at the sight of me. And the new guys… well, that just has to be seen.

Such is the life of an Animal who invades the space of the normal. I am not trying to show off. I am not trying to stick out. I am just a man on a mission. But someone has to rise up, take a stand, and show everyone how it is done. When I hit the gym, I am that man, and I am not even trying to be. This is just me. This ethic… this zeal… this hunger for more, it is alien to them, and it amazes some… scares others.

I cannot help that when I come into the gym, I am on the move, preying on my ultimate self. In those moments within those four walls, that is what you need to do… there is no other reason to be there. If you are not, you are taking up space… my space… and you have to know that I do not appreciate that shit. Watching me, standing there like a deer in the headlights, that is not going to get you anywhere. But if you insist on doing that, I hope you are paying attention and learning something.

It was not my aim coming into the gym today, but whatever… I will show you the way to being big. Follow me… but know if you do, you sure as hell cannot be scared, because if you are, I will leave you where you stand.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-08-09, 9:38 pm
Keep spitting the truth bro.
Always a good read. From the heart.


X2....can't wait for another entry!

Thanks, brothers. The truth is all I know. Count on me to tell it.

Thenum1madhatter
07-09-09, 12:45 am
Entry Title: 405 (printed in April 2009 issue of Muscular Development magazine)
2009 April 30


The air is thick with the stench of toil and struggle. It may be cold… but I have warmed up. The dismal, washed out color of the walls and ceiling tile give the place a feeling of dank depression. But that means nothing to me. I feel energized… electric… READY.

Why?

I am looking down at 405lbs on the floor, ready to be relocated to the place of my choosing. I know… 405lbs. for a deadlift is not a lot. But this 405 means a lot to me.

It means that I am in a new place, and it is not the same place that I was at yesterday. It means that I made good on a promise to myself: fight past the pain of the pull; fight through the frustration of missing something along the way in my program that would eventually get me here. It means that I gave everything that I had, except excuses, and worked with the little bit that I was given, to make a reality that once only existed in my deepest slumber.

It means that while everyone else did a set of whatever, and took ten minute rest breaks to talk about stuff that did not matter, I kept it moving, and dead weight on the floor was reborn and alive anew once I wrapped my hands around cold Olympic steel, and drove vertical. It means that the whispers I heard, and the evil looks shot at me as weight pounded the floor again, and again, and again… all of that was wasted energy… THEIR wasted energy, as something greater could have come from it, but they chose otherwise. They have nothing to show for it. I was not going to let anything stop me, and I have the proof of my conviction.

It means that my focus was on point… when it was game time, I took it to the wheels, quarters, nickels, and dimes as if my life depended on it. Forged from a desire… no guts, no glory. I would rather die than not meet my goal. Torn skin, cramped hands, and white lights dancing before my very eyes from overexertion… a small price to pay for the greatness that is progress. You have to want it. You have to feel it. You have to understand it. If not, you have to get out of the way of people like me, before you get run over.

I may have to use a mixed grip… use lifting straps, just in case… take an extra minute or two before the pull, and only get a single. But you know what? I am here… and I am not going anywhere, except up.

495, here I come…

New to this forum... I'm there with you on this one brother... caught my attention and had to say, on other sides of the world we sit staring at the same weight fighting the same fight.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-09-09, 7:16 pm
... because believe me, you are not forgotten.


Entry Title: Why I Dig Female Bodybuilders
2009 July 09



I realize this will not be the most widely shared sentiment… but fuck it... such is life. It is like that sometimes...

I am a performance driven person, and am pretty much stuck in that gear, which is why if I am not careful, I drive myself right into the ground.

But being that I am that type of person and dedicated to the discipline to do what I need to in order to achieve what I want, this is why I dig female bodybuilders so much... because they fucking get it. The beauty of the body aside, like any other athlete, female bodybuilders have that goal and refuse to take their sights off of it... no outlandish excuses, no severe slips of willpower or motivation, and no bullshit broken promises and talk about what they wish they could do, or what they are going to do, but never do it.

She lifts for herself, not for anyone else, but she lifts to achieve whatever she sees to be greatness, in her mind, and she wants it as badly as a panhandling vagrant wants change to be able to collect enough to get his next swig of hooch. She is going to do what it takes to become this badass masterpiece... an improvement upon her already beautiful female form... and letting nothing stand in her way, day by day, she gets closer to it... more width here, better shape there... and yes, that kind of desire and determination is electrifying. That is the type of energy that I have, and that is the type of energy that I need to be around if I do not want mine to dwindle and fade, because I speak from experience. And while the everyday, average woman might possess this same kind of energy, I know for a fact that a female bodybuilder does... there is no guesswork, there is not even the slightest possibility of a "what if" moment, and then to top it all off, a female bodybuilder not only has the courage to rise to their ultimate physical potential, but can feel comfortable in her body while she does it. Even with constantly wanting to improve, she is far, far ahead of any everyday, average woman and their issues... dealing with that kind of insecurity is a fucking headache... a headache I will not deal with again.

Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. Outgrew it. But… it was the wrong fit to begin with.

Discerning eyes should fall on the flowing lines and grace of these modern statues, as opposed to only being focused on what is deemed worthy or unworthy of bedding, and a deeper vision could be used to see that what drives her is the same that drives man in general… betterment of self… I think many more people would be much happier.

The women are beautiful, and the muscle is magnificent. Female bodybuilders (and this is to include Figure and Fitness enthusiasts/competitors as well) have more curves and shape than any regular woman ever could without getting into this.

I get so tired of the anti-female bodybuilder talk. It is bad enough we have to hear that shit about bodybuilding in general from the outsiders. Sure, drugs do their damage to some... no secret there... but more often than not, this is not the case. Just get over it. That does not change the person that a woman is. That is what is wrong with society's take on female bodybuilders. These are still PEOPLE. Not freaks. Not women wanting to be men…still women. They still have the same heart and soul as before. And really beautiful women are being overlooked... guilty by association. And this is far from right. Is it really any wonder why I disconnect from the general public, and walk alone? Fuck 'em. I do not need them. The stigma against bodybuilding is one that I cannot agree with, EVER, and for one to talk against the females who enjoy this as much as I do is to talk against me… and I will not subject myself to that.

The human body is a beautiful thing, and our sisters of the iron put a lot into bringing out their perfection. That deserves to be admired, not ridiculed, trashed, or most importantly, not looked upon as just an object based on their appearance. If we, the ones who share the same drive and iron lust in life do not support or cannot accept them, then who will?

With all that said, you had to know this part was coming... yes, I have to have a female bodybuilder in my life. I just cannot see it any other way at this point.

I have not forgotten you, ladies. You tow this line just like I do, and that is good shit in my book.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-09-09, 7:21 pm
New to this forum... I'm there with you on this one brother... caught my attention and had to say, on other sides of the world we sit staring at the same weight fighting the same fight.

Glad it was able to speak to you, brother. Keep coming back. There is more where this came from.

Vaze_06
07-09-09, 7:46 pm
ahhahaha... killed it bro!! nice posts

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-09-09, 8:15 pm
ahhahaha... killed it bro!! nice posts

This approval is good.

Thenum1madhatter
07-10-09, 12:11 am
... because believe me, you are not forgotten.


Entry Title: Why I Dig Female Bodybuilders
2009 July 09



I realize this will not be the most widely shared sentiment… but fuck it... such is life. It is like that sometimes...

I am a performance driven person, and am pretty much stuck in that gear, which is why if I am not careful, I drive myself right into the ground.

But being that I am that type of person and dedicated to the discipline to do what I need to in order to achieve what I want, this is why I dig female bodybuilders so much... because they fucking get it. The beauty of the body aside, like any other athlete, female bodybuilders have that goal and refuse to take their sights off of it... no outlandish excuses, no severe slips of willpower or motivation, and no bullshit broken promises and talk about what they wish they could do, or what they are going to do, but never do it.

She lifts for herself, not for anyone else, but she lifts to achieve whatever she sees to be greatness, in her mind, and she wants it as badly as a panhandling vagrant wants change to be able to collect enough to get his next swig of hooch. She is going to do what it takes to become this badass masterpiece... an improvement upon her already beautiful female form... and letting nothing stand in her way, day by day, she gets closer to it... more width here, better shape there... and yes, that kind of desire and determination is electrifying. That is the type of energy that I have, and that is the type of energy that I need to be around if I do not want mine to dwindle and fade, because I speak from experience. And while the everyday, average woman might possess this same kind of energy, I know for a fact that a female bodybuilder does... there is no guesswork, there is not even the slightest possibility of a "what if" moment, and then to top it all off, a female bodybuilder not only has the courage to rise to their ultimate physical potential, but can feel comfortable in her body while she does it. Even with constantly wanting to improve, she is far, far ahead of any everyday, average woman and their issues... dealing with that kind of insecurity is a fucking headache... a headache I will not deal with again.

Been there. Done that. Bought the T-shirt. Outgrew it. But… it was the wrong fit to begin with.

Discerning eyes should fall on the flowing lines and grace of these modern statues, as opposed to only being focused on what is deemed worthy or unworthy of bedding, and a deeper vision could be used to see that what drives her is the same that drives man in general… betterment of self… I think many more people would be much happier.

The women are beautiful, and the muscle is magnificent. Female bodybuilders (and this is to include Figure and Fitness enthusiasts/competitors as well) have more curves and shape than any regular woman ever could without getting into this.

I get so tired of the anti-female bodybuilder talk. It is bad enough we have to hear that shit about bodybuilding in general from the outsiders. Sure, drugs do their damage to some... no secret there... but more often than not, this is not the case. Just get over it. That does not change the person that a woman is. That is what is wrong with society's take on female bodybuilders. These are still PEOPLE. Not freaks. Not women wanting to be men…still women. They still have the same heart and soul as before. And really beautiful women are being overlooked... guilty by association. And this is far from right. Is it really any wonder why I disconnect from the general public, and walk alone? Fuck 'em. I do not need them. The stigma against bodybuilding is one that I cannot agree with, EVER, and for one to talk against the females who enjoy this as much as I do is to talk against me… and I will not subject myself to that.

The human body is a beautiful thing, and our sisters of the iron put a lot into bringing out their perfection. That deserves to be admired, not ridiculed, trashed, or most importantly, not looked upon as just an object based on their appearance. If we, the ones who share the same drive and iron lust in life do not support or cannot accept them, then who will?

With all that said, you had to know this part was coming... yes, I have to have a female bodybuilder in my life. I just cannot see it any other way at this point.

I have not forgotten you, ladies. You tow this line just like I do, and that is good shit in my book.

I don't have the vocabulary to express these thoughts as well as you, but I agree completely. My lifting brother and I always talk about my attraction to well built women.

Thenum1madhatter
07-10-09, 12:18 am
When I say attraction I don't mean just because of looks either. There is something about a women with that kind of discipline and determination that is so intriguing.

charlievanriper
07-10-09, 7:30 pm
nothing like a hard firm body pressed against mine to cause me to light the World on fire!

Then thiers the issue of Tits ( I LOVE TITIES) lol

charlievanriper
07-10-09, 7:30 pm
Sorry just had to say that, its kust how my warped mind works!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-13-09, 8:00 pm
Entry Title: Napalm
2009 July 13



Although the desire never dies, you know there comes a time when we hit a low point in this thing that we do, and every so often, even we need a little something to push us through the mud. Yeah, we make our gains; we get the love from our friends and families… that does not matter because we are not in it for that. It helps though… but it is not enough.

Then, we head out to a show to see other brothers and sisters throw it down under the lights to make a name for themselves, and you know as well as I do what it took for them to get there. You can identify with it. When that front double biceps is shot out at the hysterical crowd, you know what that shit represents, and what every step of the journey meant to him, because you feel it day in and day out; you feel it in every forced red; you taste it with each bite of chicken breast; you feel the calm from the job well done when the water in your shower cascades over the impregnable fortress that is the armor that you have fashioned. You understand just how important the job at hand was with those weapons of mass construction. Like that man… like that woman on stage… you know that the months of fun were just as much of a Hell as the months of torture to bring something to the stage that will make people question if you are merely human, or a freak of nature. The gym is your playground, and the stage is your killing grounds… those on the stage know that, and you know it. You get it. While there are those in the audience looking and leering and wanting and cheering, you share their adulation. But unlike them, yours is different. While they respond to the display, you respond to their triumph, and what their triumph gives you: if you lost the way, they helped you find it again. If the path seemed dark, they showed you the light. If you found yourself starting to get burned out, being there in that crowd, in that chaos, with that energy, in that moment, living, loving, and knowing all in this… they lit that fire under your ass. Why are you so happy? Because in your heart, you know you are ready to go again… one foot in front of the other, step by step, making your way down that road with your eye on the target… and yeah, we are coming… sneaking up on ya… creeping up on ya.

It might not be the same for everyone. It could be watching someone get their face kicked in during the current UFC fights. It could be watching bygone World’s Strongest Man events. It could be watching the Super Bowl… it could be anything for anyone in any endeavor… the point is this: the shit has to mean something to you, and it does. It means more than anyone will ever know, and more than you can ever put into words.

If you are anything like me, something like this is not just any old fire… it is fueled by napalm. And when it ignites, it and you will fucking blow everything away.

machineman
07-13-09, 8:11 pm
Entry Title: Napalm
2009 July 13



Although the desire never dies, you know there comes a time when we hit a low point in this thing that we do, and every so often, even we need a little something to push us through the mud. Yeah, we make our gains; we get the love from our friends and families… that does not matter because we are not in it for that. It helps though… but it is not enough.

Then, we head out to a show to see other brothers and sisters throw it down under the lights to make a name for themselves, and you know as well as I do what it took for them to get there. You can identify with it. When that front double biceps is shot out at the hysterical crowd, you know what that shit represents, and what every step of the journey meant to him, because you feel it day in and day out; you feel it in every forced red; you taste it with each bite of chicken breast; you feel the calm from the job well done when the water in your shower cascades over the impregnable fortress that is the armor that you have fashioned. You understand just how important the job at hand was with those weapons of mass construction. Like that man… like that woman on stage… you know that the months of fun were just as much of a Hell as the months of torture to bring something to the stage that will make people question if you are merely human, or a freak of nature. The gym is your playground, and the stage is your killing grounds… those on the stage know that, and you know it. You get it. While there are those in the audience looking and leering and wanting and cheering, you share their adulation. But unlike them, yours is different. While they respond to the display, you respond to their triumph, and what their triumph gives you: if you lost the way, they helped you find it again. If the path seemed dark, they showed you the light. If you found yourself starting to get burned out, being there in that crowd, in that chaos, with that energy, in that moment, living, loving, and knowing all in this… they lit that fire under your ass. Why are you so happy? Because in your heart, you know you are ready to go again… one foot in front of the other, step by step, making your way down that road with your eye on the target… and yeah, we are coming… sneaking up on ya… creeping up on ya.

It might not be the same for everyone. It could be watching someone get their face kicked in during the current UFC fights. It could be watching bygone World’s Strongest Man events. It could be watching the Super Bowl… it could be anything for anyone in any endeavor… the point is this: the shit has to mean something to you, and it does. It means more than anyone will ever know, and more than you can ever put into words.

If you are anything like me, something like this is not just any old fire… it is fueled by napalm. And when it ignites, it and you will fucking blow everything away.

wow...thanks, bro...just exactly what I feel about this iron contest.....gonna have to print this one out!!!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-13-09, 8:17 pm
wow...thanks, bro...just exactly what I feel about this iron contest.....gonna have to print this one out!!!

This was right on time then. Good luck, brother!

machineman
07-13-09, 8:49 pm
This was right on time then. Good luck, brother!

thanks....definitely will be using this thread for some inspiration....escpecially for the 4am cardio.....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-14-09, 10:29 pm
Entry Title: Soldier of Your Own Fortune
2009 July 14


The time to strike is near. Pack up your shit, and head out for the reckoning. Your friends are waiting…

They will never desert you. They will never fail you. They will always tell you what the fuck is up. Appreciate them… need them like you need air, food, water. The battlefield is rough, but they have your back…

Hammer Strength. Ivanko. Olympic. York. Icarian. They are your major support and tactical team. Shed blood and tears with these brothers… they are not going to give you shit for it, but they will give you what you need to not let the pressure get to you… and when you are ready, they will give you more to force you to push, gain ground, be the alpha, and rip shit to shreds.

Fucking unstoppable… fucking unmovable… fucking animal, living this shit instead of just pretending. No time wasting, no half-assed effort, and no faking for attention. You are the real deal. When you make your way into that pit, you are a warrior, the likes of which those who hover around in your world have never seen before. They will never forget it, and even though you know it, that means nothing to you. Yeah… you are looking at something; looking toward something… victory… conquest… but this ain’t some game of ‘Capture the Flag’. Oh yeah… you are going to capture something alright… but no one can understand or grasp that concept except you. It is a dark struggle on your campaign, rife with obstacles and traps set up to stop you. Do you give in though? Hell no. Do you meet that shit head on, laugh, and fuck it all to hell with thirteen inches, folded, with no lube, showing no mercy? FUCK YEAH. This is how it is done.

Imagine after the siege, standing atop the heap that aimed to take you down, and leave you doubting yourself… in that moment, it is not about who won, who lost, who came, who saw, who conquered, kicked ass, kissed ass, or any of that other shit. It is about this one thing: the motherfuckers did not stop me, and I got my mark.

That is a sick feeling, better than any high crack or meth or whatever could give you. This is what you want. And you better get it, or just surrender and be a prisoner of your own war.

Hell yeah… that shit would suck. It will not be me. Will it be you?

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-14-09, 10:30 pm
thanks....definitely will be using this thread for some inspiration....escpecially for the 4am cardio.....

Brother, get all that you can out of this. I feel it is important that I let my people know that they are not in this alone.

machineman
07-14-09, 10:34 pm
Entry Title: Soldier of Your Own Fortune
2009 July 14


The time to strike is near. Pack up your shit, and head out for the reckoning. Your friends are waiting…

They will never desert you. They will never fail you. They will always tell you what the fuck is up. Appreciate them… need them like you need air, food, water. The battlefield is rough, but they have your back…

Hammer Strength. Ivanko. Olympic. York. Icarian. They are your major support and tactical team. Shed blood and tears with these brothers… they are not going to give you shit for it, but they will give you what you need to not let the pressure get to you… and when you are ready, they will give you more to force you to push, gain ground, be the alpha, and rip shit to shreds.

Fucking unstoppable… fucking unmovable… fucking animal, living this shit instead of just pretending. No time wasting, no half-assed effort, and no faking for attention. You are the real deal. When you make your way into that pit, you are a warrior, the likes of which those who hover around in your world have never seen before. They will never forget it, and even though you know it, that means nothing to you. Yeah… you are looking at something; looking toward something… victory… conquest… but this ain’t some game of ‘Capture the Flag’. Oh yeah… you are going to capture something alright… but no one can understand or grasp that concept except you. It is a dark struggle on your campaign, rife with obstacles and traps set up to stop you. Do you give in though? Hell no. Do you meet that shit head on, laugh, and fuck it all to hell with thirteen inches, folded, with no lube, showing no mercy? FUCK YEAH. This is how it is done.

Imagine after the siege, standing atop the heap that aimed to take you down, and leave you doubting yourself… in that moment, it is not about who won, who lost, who came, who saw, who conquered, kicked ass, kissed ass, or any of that other shit. It is about this one thing: the motherfuckers did not stop me, and I got my mark.

That is a sick feeling, better than any high crack or meth or whatever could give you. This is what you want. And you better get it, or just surrender and be a prisoner of your own war.

Hell yeah… that shit would suck. It will not be me. Will it be you?

oh yeah....another one that will be going to the printer.....thanks, bro.....definitely felt this tonight hitting legs for the contest......the only one that will stand in my way is me....and that ain't happening.....lead-follow-or get the fuck outta the way!!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-14-09, 10:38 pm
oh yeah....another one that will be going to the printer.....thanks, bro.....definitely felt this tonight hitting legs for the contest......the only one that will stand in my way is me....and that ain't happening.....lead-follow-or get the fuck outta the way!!

Nah bro... follow no one. Take the lead and whoever wants it from you, make them earn that shit.

machineman
07-14-09, 10:53 pm
Nah bro... follow no one. Take the lead and whoever wants it from you, make them earn that shit.

true....they will earn something for their troubles.....but it ain't gonna be my spot at the table!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-14-09, 10:55 pm
true....they will earn something for their troubles.....but it ain't gonna be my spot at the table!

That is what I like to hear!!!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-16-09, 10:02 pm
Entry Title: Hate Breed
2009 July 16



Every day… every fucking day, I am breeding hate.

Every day, it grows, festers, causes my blood to boil, and its presence in the weight pit is my training partner.

This hate… this vile, loathsome contempt is for mediocrity… my mediocrity. But you know…fuck mediocrity. They can have it. I do not want it.

I welcome the aggression. I welcome the angst. This ain’t some woe is me tale though… hell no… this is just life… my life… probably yours too. I will be damned if I do not reach the pinnacle of this, in this, with myself. What is the point otherwise… for my health? Well, okay… perhaps. But still…

The mirror does not lie to me. It tells me what the deal is when my mind starts to play tricks on me. He introduced me to hate, and now, me and that motherfucker are thick as thieves. When no one else understands why I do what I do, what I get out of this, what is required of me to put into this, and why I want this and crave this and am fucking starving for this… it is the hate. It will keep me on the straight and narrow, and I will love it more than I would a woman because it will see me to my end, where a smile a mile wide will stretch across my face.

Oh sure, I could accept what is, and be happy as I am coming along. But that shit leads to complacency, and that gets me nowhere. No, damn that… I am going somewhere… today, tomorrow, and forever. The world will see me stiff, stuffed in a box, and six feet under before I give up this relentless pursuit.

It sounds like I am bent out of shape… just all fucked up in the head. I am not… but I ain’t fucking satisfied either. The hate allows me to live in that moment as if it was my very last. The hate allows me to push or pull that shit like my life depends on it. The hate tells me what I have for the set, and when it is gone, I get more for big, painful fun… one more, two more, three… I love it. Drives me to a new place, a scary place, one that only knows hope… fuck fear. Fear gets you second place or lower in the show, and in life, and that is not what I am about. I am all about excellence, and nothing will stop me from having it.
I want it. I need it. It will be mine.

Every day… every fucking day, I am breeding hate. Every day… every fucking day, I am getting closer to the top.

violator
07-17-09, 7:27 am
awww dude....dont be a hater....
haha....just kiddin...
Great piece G........

Freak
07-20-09, 10:39 am
Fear and hate. Two sides of the coin?

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-20-09, 11:03 am
Fear and hate. Two sides of the coin?

Could be... depends on how you want to look at it, I guess.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-21-09, 10:02 pm
Entry Title: More
2009 July 21



As I stand under the bar before I make my descent, or as I pull the stack at the seated row station, something goes through my mind: you could not tell me that I did not want it.
Yeah… want it… want that size, want that hardness, want the sweep, and want that thick-as-a-brick appearance. I want that taste of victory, of realization, of actualization. I want that high of coming out on top, having fought off the demons that sought to get in the way of the building and cutting, and having made my way around the minefield of traps throughout the process.

I never think it is going to be easy. In fact, if it is, I do not need it. I need the challenge. It feeds my bloodlust for smashing through that wall of complacency. Everything I need to know will rest in my hands, coming in at varying weights, be it as a fork weighed down to several ounces, or a bar loaded to 585 lbs. for rack deads. Quads bulging to the point that I can barely feel them on Mondays do not matter. Traps and rhomboids that feel like they have been shredded on Wednesday do not matter. Stretches held for time that rip the fascia all asunder and make me see red do not matter. The end result is all that matters. Fuck yeah. I am paying my dues, and I am standing by for my receipt.

So I lie on that bench, or run the rack. Some guy is there, sharing my space. Maybe I am lifting more than him. That means nothing to me. I am not there to show off… that shit will get me hurt. He is there for something, as am I. The only difference is that I know what I am there for, and judging by his lackadaisical performance to the task at hand, he does not know what he is there for. And what I think about the guys who will be beside me onstage at some point, I also think about him:

The payoff for diligence and determination… you might want it. But I want it more.

Remember that shit.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-21-09, 10:04 pm
awww dude....dont be a hater....
haha....just kiddin...
Great piece G........

Yeah brother... keep hate alive!!

violator
07-22-09, 1:54 am
Remember that shit.

oooohhh yeah....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-22-09, 9:25 pm
Entry Title: No More Room
2009 July 22



Man, my clothes are too tight.

Fuck yeah. I wanted and waited for any sign of growth, and now, this is my assurance. Friends and family can tell me about it… or they could also lie to me, just to be nice. I do not want that shit though; I need truth. And the truth is that there is no denying moving up a shirt size. Pants legs that barely make it up and over your thighs are hard to ignore. As a matter of fact, bumping the sides of the door frame as you make your way into a closet have a way of telling you something. Pay attention to it.

Every curl was worth it. Every squat was worth it. Every press, pull, lunge, dip… it is all worth it… worth the satisfaction that came from not seeing it. I am far from a lumbering giant… at least in my mind… but then, if I am constricted by a shirt that needs more room in the chest, with sleeves that cut into my biceps… that says otherwise. That damn shirt is clinging to me, hanging on for dear life.

Fitting into anything never crosses my mind as I do my thing in the gym, except maybe thoughts of growing into something larger. Being big was the only option for me, and not slowly and surely, I am moving further along, getting what is coming to me.
Despite what I may say or feel, this fundamental truth is here, and I can no longer be mind fucked. I love this… but now I have to start buying new clothes… again. I damn sure am not complaining.

Whatever… this is a small price to pay for something truly great in this ugly world.

Survivor831
07-22-09, 9:30 pm
There is nothing more satistfying than putting on a shirt you haven't worn in a year and realizing that it will be the last time you ever wear it. Another solid post my friend.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-22-09, 9:34 pm
There is nothing more satistfying than putting on a shirt you haven't worn in a year and realizing that it will be the last time you ever wear it. Another solid post my friend.

I have some stuff that is generously sized. The goal is to keep moving up, and not so much with fat, and look like I belong in it. I will purposely buy something that is too big just so I have that to remind me that my work is not done. Thanks for sticking around, brother!

machineman
07-22-09, 10:41 pm
great posts bro.....some more that will be going to the printer.....the one title MORE is the one I will read every morning to get my mind right for cardio.....thanks for all the inspiration, brother!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-23-09, 8:40 pm
great posts bro.....some more that will be going to the printer.....the one title MORE is the one I will read every morning to get my mind right for cardio.....thanks for all the inspiration, brother!

No problem, MM. I am happy to help!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
07-23-09, 8:42 pm
Entry Title: Transformer
2009 July 23


If you do this thing that we do long enough, something happens to you… you change. Yeah, the body changes; that is a given. But then, there are the things that are not physical…
Family, friends, and even complete strangers might find you to be more aggressive or more assertive… perhaps greater assured of yourself, more contemplative, or having a better outlook on life.

Whatever happens, the changes come, and you, me, all of us… we rock that shit like it is a party that we are daring the cops to come and bust up. Whatever happens, it makes you something greater. It makes you something that the people in your world have never seen, or were ready for. They have no fucking idea what to do with you. Before their eyes, you change, and become better on all levels.

The training, the dieting, and the attention to detail… you do it all, and it bleeds over into the rest of your life. You are a beast, and you unleash that which cannot be contained. We are a legion that shows everyone our world order, submitting to the weight only long enough before we move it.

You change… have been and will be, now and forever. No matter what anyone tries to do or say, no one can stop you. Let them try... and let them fail.

D-Bomb
08-09-09, 7:54 pm
MAN! you speak Animal fluently!...subbed in for sure!

violator
08-24-09, 3:32 am
Where u at G?

damn i miss this thread....one of the most inspiring on the forvm....bring it back!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
09-09-09, 7:41 pm
You saw it here first.

There is no way in Hell that I am done. However, things have been a bit different and random lately... so there has been a lot of changes, that hopefully will settle into something routine in the next few weeks.

Yes... Life is handing me a whole lot of shit right now... some good, some bad... all coming one after the other to try and fuck me up. But instead of letting it get me, I gave it the finger. Still getting the meals in... not making the gym routinely, but I am still banging the weights.

This shit ain't over. Far from it, brothers and sisters. Consider this having fall in the ditch on the side of the road. But I promise you, when I climb out of the motherfucker, the road I walk is going to crumble under my feet.

Be prepared.

Survivor831
09-09-09, 10:03 pm
Still with you brother. Keep pressin'

violator
09-10-09, 3:22 am
....Be prepared.

hell yeah man.... keep persisting... let nothing stand in ur way....

machineman
09-10-09, 6:56 am
know where you are coming from, brother....keep up the good fight, G.....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
09-11-09, 8:00 pm
Entry Title: Untitled
2009 September 11


Today, my grandmother was laid to rest. She passed away September 5, at the age of 76.


No gym today. Time spent with the family. It was good. I saw some relatives from my other side of the family, and either everyone had shed all of their tears earlier in the week, or had come to accept that they saw this coming, and knew that the suffering was over.

As I sat there beside my mother, having busted the diet today, I remembered something that Grandmama said that caught me totally off guard. About three weeks ago, I was out with her and my mother, and I walked off in some direction... Grandmama Barbara said to my mother, "Did you see him? Look at him... just a big, strong, healthy young man!" According to my mother, she talked about it a lot.

More proof that I am being watched when I least expect it, and that what I am doing is good and working. To hear the whispered or muttered (or sometimes loudly expressed) words, or to command the stares of passersby as you walk down the street... it means that you are taking care of business, and in a strange way, is a payday just as fulfilling as another inch or two on the tape or not being able to fit into certain clothes anymore. Surely, I am not the only one who feels this way.

She was proud of me for many different reasons... but the joy I gave her from talking about what I have built myself into through my blood, sweat, and tears in the gym, in this life... that means the world to me. I am glad she was around to see it.


Barbara Jean Burkley... August 8, 1933 - September 5, 2009. Goodbye, Grandmama. I will throw up some extra sets for you in the gym.

machineman
09-12-09, 8:54 am
Entry Title: Untitled
2009 September 11


Today, my grandmother was laid to rest. She passed away September 5, at the age of 76.


No gym today. Time spent with the family. It was good. I saw some relatives from my other side of the family, and either everyone had shed all of their tears earlier in the week, or had come to accept that they saw this coming, and knew that the suffering was over.

As I sat there beside my mother, having busted the diet today, I remembered something that Grandmama said that caught me totally off guard. About three weeks ago, I was out with her and my mother, and I walked off in some direction... Grandmama Barbara said to my mother, "Did you see him? Look at him... just a big, strong, healthy young man!" According to my mother, she talked about it a lot.

More proof that I am being watched when I least expect it, and that what I am doing is good and working. To hear the whispered or muttered (or sometimes loudly expressed) words, or to command the stares of passersby as you walk down the street... it means that you are taking care of business, and in a strange way, is a payday just as fulfilling as another inch or two on the tape or not being able to fit into certain clothes anymore. Surely, I am not the only one who feels this way.

She was proud of me for many different reasons... but the joy I gave her from talking about what I have built myself into through my blood, sweat, and tears in the gym, in this life... that means the world to me. I am glad she was around to see it.


Barbara Jean Burkley... August 8, 1933 - September 5, 2009. Goodbye, Grandmama. I will throw up some extra sets for you in the gym.

sorry to hear about your grandma, bro.....but sounds like she is in a better place....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
09-13-09, 9:59 pm
sorry to hear about your grandma, bro.....but sounds like she is in a better place....

Thank you, brother.

Yeah, it is going to be random for a few more weeks...

Her car was left to me, and I will be moving into the house. But there are some things that need to be done to it first, and I will be doing a lot to clean the house out, and then moving my stuff in there. So I am looking at a lot of back and forth until about the end of October. And I am starting a new job this week, so I have to adjust to the schedule change. And also, the local MMA fighter that I train and manage, we have a somewhat major fight coming up this weekend, so I will be going through last minute preparations with him.

Oh... and I will be interviewed (provided the work schedule does not conflict) on Off Topic Radio this week, so I am getting myself prepared for that too...

I am forgetting something, I think... but I am drawing a blank. So... yeah.

mcbeast
09-13-09, 10:09 pm
Sorry to hear about your grandmothers passing.

Looks like youve got alot going on for a while, keep your head up and try not to let it all get to you. Good luck with everything, especially the new job. Its gonna be a lot to manage, but challenges only make us stronger right?

-Excessive

violator
09-14-09, 3:48 am
The circle of life continues...looks like uve got a strong support system in your family...thats priceless man...
Good luck in the prep for the fight & all the drama in clearing up ur grans estate...we all know ull rise & overcome....

Thanks for sharing G....

peace

machineman
09-14-09, 6:43 am
deffinitely sounds like you have a lot on the plate right now. Keep your head up and I know you will get through the next month or so and will come out the other side stronger for it....good luck with the MMA fight...let me know how it goes! I also train in Jujitsu (when time allows).....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
10-17-09, 3:54 pm
So, it appears I came to a crossroads today, and in my true fashion of thinking and processing with the speed of a Pentium, I chose the direction.

I was drawn to bodybuilding and this lifestyle a while ago, but had taken it much more seriously starting somewhere around 1998. After me separation, I knew I was going to finally make my move into competing like I had planned on before Life intervened. Well, my martial art training is picking up once again, and while I feel alive in the gym, nothing... and I mean NOTHING... can match what I feel from training in martial art. What I get from bodybuilding and martial art are two different things entirely. But I know that I will give my all in my bodybuilding efforts for the stage, and there is no questioning that I will do so with my martial art. Something would have to give in order for there to be a balance.

So, you had to know that I went with martial art. I have always said it before that first and foremost, I am a martial artist. I was drawn by the discipline that it takes to be your best on the stage. I wanted that. I could taste it. But with my martial art training, because I truly never stop and never will, I am going to burn off a lot of the muscle that I am working to build, and it definitely is a hard thing for me to do... but my perseverance has paid off... and I was doing it all for the stage. But for what, really? So that I could fit in here, or look like I belonged in the crowd at the Arnold and Olympia expos? That trophy? Bragging rights, which I do not even care about anyway? I actually have been mulling over this decision for a while, and I guess today was the day that I finally came to the point where the path forked.

I will not compete in martial arts... no tournaments, no cage fights... nothing. But it is perhaps the biggest piece of me. So, what becomes of bodybuilding? Am I going to shrink back down to where I came from? Certainly not. I am going to continue to build, but at least now, I will do so without putting pressure on myself to produce. Do not get me wrong, though. I am hardly going to become a casual lifter. But being that I am now doing it strictly for myself and not in the hopes of besting others in competition, I can enjoy it and life all the more now. However, you have to know... this does not mean that this journey is over. Still the same song and dance, brothers. Still telling it like it is, saying whatever I have to say, speaking in the language that only the few like you all here can understand. BELIEVE THAT.

The only problems I have with this, which I suppose I will get over in time... I will always have in my mind the thought of "what if...". What if I had done it, how would it have affected me, and what would have become of it. Secondly... female bodybuilders do not like guys my size. They prefer their men large, and since I am not so concerned with making it onto the stage anymore, size is not an issue to me... I get what I get, and will strive to be my best. What the hell am I supposed to do now though? LOL

Gaoshang Xiongshou
10-21-09, 5:11 pm
Well it has been one hell of a month. It looks like this ride is about to come to an end, and then everything will be back to normal. I move next week, and hopefully by the weekend, I can be fully settled in, and back here with the brothers and sisters.

Yes... good times ahead once more...

D-Bomb
10-21-09, 5:17 pm
Those are both two powerful passions there man, i can see the tough choice between them. I would think the Martial arts which you have been with for longer? would be the one you would choose to excel in more even for yourself..but yeah gym and bodybuilding is not all for the stage i always stress to people..have fun in gym..lift heavy push hard but enjoy it, if you decided to show off to see what you can make of it then fine! but not everyone's cut out for it or willing to sacrifice so many other things just for a trophy or pictures on a mantel piece...all decisions bud good to hear you chose what you love most and still include the gym in it.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
10-21-09, 11:33 pm
Those are both two powerful passions there man, i can see the tough choice between them. I would think the Martial arts which you have been with for longer? would be the one you would choose to excel in more even for yourself..but yeah gym and bodybuilding is not all for the stage i always stress to people..have fun in gym..lift heavy push hard but enjoy it, if you decided to show off to see what you can make of it then fine! but not everyone's cut out for it or willing to sacrifice so many other things just for a trophy or pictures on a mantel piece...all decisions bud good to hear you chose what you love most and still include the gym in it.


For sure... I have been training in martial arts since I was eleven-years-old, and it is so much a part of me that without it, I literally am lost. But I definitely cannot leave the gym alone. That is a big part of my martial performance on a lot of different levels. It was not exactly a difficult decision, but one that I had to come to terms with somewhat... I will be a bodybuilder in heart, just not on the stage. I can live with that... well, at least now I can.

violator
10-22-09, 2:38 am
yo G!...good to see you back again, missed ur contributions to the forvm!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
11-18-09, 11:47 am
Entry Title: Sensory Overload (Vision Quest)
2009 November 18


When you step foot into the weight pit, can you see it?

As you go through the motions day after day to put the meals together, or to pack your gym bag for the next day… one less thing to do in this world of so many other faceless and inconsequential chores… do you feel it?

Every two hours, without fail, getting the food in… can you taste it?

When you speak on this life, this lifestyle, to the brotherhood forged by cold steel and hot sweat… do you hear it?

Your hard work… your sacrifice… your love… your passion… it all amounts to a certain level of success. A victory. All around you… do you smell its sweet scent?

What am I talking about? You. Whoever you are, or whoever you wish to be. Do all of your senses fire as part of the well oiled machine that you are? Have you become one with the beast inside you, just waiting to be let loose on the world? Can you… will you put it all on the line in everything that you do to walk the walk that says “I am the best… fuck the rest?”

You better, motherfucker.

This is not just something that you do… this is something that you ARE. And you know it. You do not half-ass anything else in life, so there is no point in doing it with this either.

I have a vision, damn it. Hell, I own it. And come Hell or high water, I am going to make it a reality. You have to want that shit for yourself. That is the only way it is going to happen.

At the altar of pain, ass to ankles, lower than low in the hole… bringing the cold and lifeless iron to life as you pull it off the floor… inviting the pain to come and telling it to eat a dick when it tells you to stop… that is how you get it done.

Take my words with you, my Legion… and go out there and fuck it up in the gym as only you can.

machineman
11-18-09, 12:04 pm
great to have you back again, brother....another great read....

Gaoshang Xiongshou
11-18-09, 1:40 pm
It was time to return. Everything is back to normal now.

violator
11-19-09, 11:46 am
yeah, i can see it!...
thanks for the piece G...

Gaoshang Xiongshou
11-20-09, 12:50 pm
Entry Title: Bloodlust
2009 November 20



It is bad enough that you go into the gym and see guys doing the latest and greatest “Bulging Biceps in 8 Minutes!!!” workout found in Muscle and Fiction magazine, or some wannabe doing the most recent “Full Body Workout in 3 Moves” from Men’s Health that will be replaced next month with the newer “Full Body Workout in 3 Moves”. Add to that that guys are hell bent on building their core on the stability ball with every conceivable exercise or on the BOSU, instead of manning the fuck up and just taking the bar in hand and doing the deadlift… add to that also that everyone is a supplement guru, like this one guy matter-of-factly telling people that milk thistle is protein, and he uses it for mental focus in the gym (as he does his 10lb. half curls; TRUE STORY… I saw this with my own eyes)… or people swearing up and down that cardio in excess will not burn muscle… we have all of that, and more, and to top it off… people are trying to gain by following some mumbo-jumbo pseudo-science “Power Meal” article printed in one of the circulating muscle tabloids.

What the fuck?! What is wrong with people?

I want to gain like everyone else. But unlike the rest of the mindless slaves of Weider, he who preys on the innocent, I have a bloodlust... for the real shit… that man shit… fucking red meat.

Goddamn it. Red meat… ribeye… Porterhouse… top sirloin… You want to be big and hard? You want to piss off your girl and get smacked in the shoulder, and not even feel it? You want the scale to start moving to the right, and beg you to get off? Find someone who has graciously chopped up a cow and sells to the public… and there you have it.
Red meat is good for the soul. Red meat will make a happy man out of you. Red meat will…

“But what about saturated fat?”

Dude, you need that shit. Do not waste my time with stupid shit like this. Yeah, the chicken is good. Certain fishes are great. But the bottom line is this: A fucking Animal needs meat. DAILY. And if you are not getting it in… I just do not know what else to tell you, except to enjoy being a small fry for the rest of your life. I feed on that shit twice daily… three times, if I can swing it. Hey... tough economy all over... I know how it is. I feel everyone's pain. But it can be done, and it is not as hard as you think.

Go get it… and get that mass that you have been selling your soul for.

machineman
11-20-09, 3:20 pm
too right, brother!

violator
11-23-09, 3:23 am
mmmm...fillet steak...

Gaoshang Xiongshou
11-23-09, 6:04 pm
Entry Title: I Wanna Be a Superhero
2009 November 23



I was reminded of a moment from several years ago… I was walking through a bus station, headed out to catch a cab. I was wearing a bodybuilding.com shirt, and as I was walking, I heard some little girl… maybe eight or nine-years-old… she shrieked out, “Ooooohhh… BODYBUILDING!” I looked at her, and she shot me a front double biceps pose. I figured maybe an older brother was into it, and she knew about it through him. Thinking back on it, I probably should have taken a picture with her… But I digress… Anyway, someone had taught her to have that fierce determination in her eyes, and I nodded, smiled, and gave her a thumbs up in approval. She was happy, and she ran off calling to her mother to tell her about it. Whoever she had gotten this influence from, she more than likely looked up to them like a hero.

Well, you know how bodybuilders are… they all look like superheroes, ripped from the pages of the comic books. Day in and day out, I am taking my steps to be just such a work of art.
I want to be a superhero. It was cool to be whatever I was to that little girl, and if I happened to look like a superhero, then hey… I am doing my job in the gym and in the kitchen. And if I can be anything that a kid looks up to… if I can be even one more thing positive for them in a negative world, and inspire them to be healthy, committed, determined, and disciplined in a personal pursuit of physical excellence instead of vegetating on a couch and blaming everyone for everything, then I am not going to turn that down. Not at all.

But as for me wanting to be a superhero… at least to have that look… yeah, that is all for me, actually, being selfish. Look at them… Wolverine… Spider-Man… Hulk… take your pick. That is the shit I want. Not exactly that kind of size, because Cutler’s type of size on my frame just is not going to look right. BUT, that does not mean that I cannot and will not go for mine, and look like I just stepped off the pages of a Marvel serial. I do not know any of you… but me, I have to have it. I wake from sleep and enter into slumber with that one image on my mind… a physique that will drop jaws and leave people wondering, “What the fuck was that?!”

I do not need a flashy costume. I do not need a cape… a secret identity… high tech cars and weapons… my weapons are Olympic bars and plates. That is how I get down.
I want to be a superhero. And I will need others to represent also… so who the fuck is with me?

D-Bomb
11-23-09, 7:09 pm
I am with you ...holy Fucking hell i am with you!!!...I too dream daily about that physique i so aspire to be one day...a Walking He-Man of sorts...what happens when i think about my dream body, the ultimate "end result" is i get an energy...an un-ending craving...a focus to kill for what i desire...an un-shakable energy..which thus keeps me up at night hahah...

Gaoshang Xiongshou
11-23-09, 7:20 pm
I am with you ...holy Fucking hell i am with you!!!...I too dream daily about that physique i so aspire to be one day...a Walking He-Man of sorts...what happens when i think about my dream body, the ultimate "end result" is i get an energy...an un-ending craving...a focus to kill for what i desire...an un-shakable energy..which thus keeps me up at night hahah...

You have the right mindset. You will damn sure represent!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
11-24-09, 2:36 pm
Entry Title: Thief
2009 November 24



Time is a thief. Waste it, and you can never get back those moments that you had to do what you had to do.

Unlike so many others that I see around me at the gym, I am not about to be a victim. I cannot stand thieves, and I will be damned if time robs me of my glory… of my destiny.
Three working sets in on dumbbell rows at the rack, I happen to glance at the mirror in front of me and see the same two guys that have been sitting in the same two spots for twenty damn minutes, talking about the same damn shit… and that was twenty minutes that were promised to them. Twenty minutes that was given to them with the hopes that they would make good use of it. But what do they do? They talk about some inconsequential bullshit. And as I finished my final two sets, I saw them FINALLY get back to work, only to pump out some lackluster flat bench dumbbell presses with 20’s, screaming like stuck pigs.

And people wonder why they are not getting anywhere. What a fucking joke.

Put in the time. Do the time. Do it ALL of the time. Do some thieving of your own. When you step into our playground, knowing what you have to do and what time you have available to you, make sure when it is up that you took far more from it than anyone would have ever given you. It will show in the mirror when you check yourself out time and time again. It will show when you step onstage, and the judges clearly have no choice but to give you first in your class and overall. It will show when your family and friends comment on how wide you are getting, and when they have to move aside to let you pass. And it will show in that girl’s eyes when you take all of your shit off to give her the pounding of a lifetime (or for you ladies who are reading this, when you get ready to ride that guy into double oblivion…).

Know that when you take the bar in hand that the world is yours, and you take it one minute at a time.

violator
11-25-09, 2:12 am
time waits for no man....i hear u on this bro...the other day i finished 21 sets in the space it took these other guys to finish their bench workout....suckers

Gaoshang Xiongshou
11-25-09, 4:19 pm
I am off to be with the biological family! Happy Thanksgiving everyone. For those who are travelling, I hope you make it there and back to your homes safely.

Watch those people out on the streets and highways. Sonsofbitches cannot do shit in the gym, and the road proves to be a problem for them too.

Firedrake
11-29-09, 1:05 pm
Great words on the Thief, bro -- hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-02-09, 4:36 pm
Entry Title: Failure to Communicate
2009 December 02



This is life. This is my life. This is my way.

I tell them every day. They always ask… what do I do, how do I do it, why do I do it. Why do I eat so much? Why do I keep my focus on one point, eying it with the accuracy of a sniper? Why, when someone calls me at 9:45PM, why have I been in the bed and asleep since 9PM? Why am I up at 4AM, eating and then heading out to the gym? Why do I not hang out with anyone or go anywhere with people? I tell them. Every day, I tell them. No one listens to a word I say.

Girls ask me why I want to be bigger. They ask me why the size I have now is not enough. They ask me if I am lonely because I do not have a girlfriend, and women do not like huge guys. They ask me what I do when I am at home. They ask me if I just live at the gym. I tell them. Every day, I tell them. No one listens to a word I say.

Not one goddamn word. I may as well be talking to a brick wall. So what we have here is a failure to communicate. They do not, or choose not, to understand.

But I do not need them to. All I need to do is understand, and stay my course. So yeah, crawling out of bed and heading out into the black, biting, bitter cold of the morning to scrape ice off of the car and wait for it to warm up before I leave… all worth it, the moment I get my hands on some weight. Words cannot convey what that is… you just have to feel it to know. And them... they will never feel it. They can never know, because they do not want to. I feel sorry for them.

But hey… I tried to tell them. And I am sure that those of you reading this… you have had the same experience… you tell them everything, but they hear nothing.

Let them fail. Let them fall. Just make sure that they do not take you down with them.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-02-09, 4:37 pm
time waits for no man....i hear u on this bro...the other day i finished 21 sets in the space it took these other guys to finish their bench workout....suckers

21 sets??! What was their point in even being there? LOL

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-02-09, 4:38 pm
Great words on the Thief, bro -- hope you had a great Thanksgiving!

Thank you, brother.

Yes, it was pretty good... until my stepmother dropped the yams!! Still good to be with the family though... but I wanted those damn yams! LOL

D-Bomb
12-02-09, 7:02 pm
21 sets??! What was their point in even being there? LOL

Hey G.X i train with Violator sometimes, good guy trains damn hard believe me the gym we reside at, yet would not choose by choice is fill of all the most useless pathetic humans to ever hold a barbell...I cannot even BEGIN to list the things these people do, i am sure you have come across them all they are is slackers...damn slackers...

I hear you on people not understanding, it is frustrating to not be able to get through to them, for them not to feel that call to greatness which the iron holds 24/7/365 for us...

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-02-09, 10:16 pm
Hey G.X i train with Violator sometimes, good guy trains damn hard believe me the gym we reside at, yet would not choose by choice is fill of all the most useless pathetic humans to ever hold a barbell...I cannot even BEGIN to list the things these people do, i am sure you have come across them all they are is slackers...damn slackers...

I hear you on people not understanding, it is frustrating to not be able to get through to them, for them not to feel that call to greatness which the iron holds 24/7/365 for us...

Damn, that is funny!! I see plenty of them myself. As long as they stay out of my way, they can keep doing whatever they are doing.

I learned a long time ago to just get up and go really early in the morning, to avoid all of this.

violator
12-03-09, 8:34 am
... They ask me what I do when I am at home. They ask me if I just live at the gym. I tell them. Every day, I tell them. No one listens to a word I say.

Not one goddamn word. I may as well be talking to a brick wall. ...

My man, when u talk...the legion listens, we understand...that is all that matters...

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-03-09, 6:04 pm
My man, when u talk...the legion listens, we understand...that is all that matters...

Word.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-03-09, 6:07 pm
Entry Title: Fucking Determined
2009 December 03



Where are you in your own personal journey toward greatness? How far have you gone? Are you satisfied? Are you where you set out to be?

The answer to that last question better be ‘no’.

Do you want to live life settled, stagnant, complacent? Or do you want to reach your boundaries, and then smash through the motherfuckers?

Day in and day out, that is what you do. Six reps in… and you suck it up and get one more… and then another one. It hurts like hell… but the pain is your friend, not the enemy, and you welcome him. 11:21AM, and you find yourself stuffing down two bland and lifeless chicken breasts halves with green beans and a handful of almonds, all the while wishing it were a coronary inducing bacon triple cheeseburger with bottomless French fries. It is mind numbingly boring and abysmal… but the discipline exercised with the fork in hand means that you get to reap the benefits of your labor that much sooner. Goddamn jug of water… you wish it were filled with some type of soda. Bedtime comes early so that you can get up at the crack of damn to do it all over again, and again… and again…

… and for what? A trophy… a pat on the back… kind words from friends and family? Who knows, as it is different for everybody. It gets difficult some days, I imagine… it damn sure is not easy. If it was, everyone would be doing it… but then it really would not mean as much then, would it?

Does the reason even matter?

Hell no. But I will tell you what does matter.

Every day, someone out there gets up just like you do to do this thing the way it is supposed to be done. Every day, someone out there takes it upon themselves to show the world exactly what is up with being this person… this breed of being… this element of existence, this freak among the normal (natural) order… this god among men… this thing… this animal that you are.

For whatever accolades, abbreviations, titles, endowments… whatever that stuff is in life that the world at large decides should define you, punching the button on the alarm clock in the dark of the wee hours of the morning to take your life and your world by storm is what really defines you. They… you know who they are… they do not, cannot, and absolutely will not give a shit about that… but you do. And you know why? Because you are just like me… you are fucking determined.

Hell yes. Say that shit with me… FUCKING DETERMINED.

Fucking determined to stand out among the crowd, rather than blend in with it and be one of the lost mindless and soulless among the masses.

Fucking determined to live this shit on your terms. Not by popular consensus. Not by the way the media would have you believe. Not by the bullshit words of the “gurus” and “trainers” who will destroy your hard work. You want something from this… in and of this. You care. They do not.

Whatever the reason, the one thing that is consistent among all of us… we are all fucking determined to do SOMETHING… today, tomorrow, for the rest of our lives until they put us into the ground.

This is the path we chose. So be it… we will stomp proudly along the way, and walk that motherfucker dry.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-07-09, 1:51 pm
Entry Title: The Difference
2009 December 07



Us. Them.

There is a difference.

The difference… when we go into the gym on Monday:

Us: We are in the squat rack, working on the shit that people normally would not see.

Them: They are curling in the goddamn squat rack.

The difference… when we train:

Us: We have to hit it all throughout the week for balance, proportion, symmetry…

Them: Biceps/chest, biceps/chest, biceps/chest, and MAYBE some shoulder work.

The difference… when we train legs (if they even train them at all):

Us: We climb the stairs knowing that we did some damage, and laugh about it, thinking about the return on our investment of time.

Them: They climb the stairs, and bray like an ass. “OH MY GOD, my legs!!” “My body is SO SORE…” “wah, wah, wah, my pussy hurts…”

The difference… when we step into the place like a boss… like we own the motherfucker…

Us: We ain’t talking about shit. The multiple sets with the iron is our conversation.

Them: They are talking about too much shit, and the conversation IS shit.

The difference… when we look in the mirror…

Us: We see that we still have work to do.

Them: They look in the mirror and see the slightest hint of muscle, and then… “Dude, I am RIPPED!!!”

The difference… hell, you get the picture. I will tell you what… THIS is the real difference…

Us: We were born for this.

Them: They wish they could be us, but never will be.

It fucking sucks to be them.

squattingtillipuke
12-07-09, 4:36 pm
GX - nice to see you over here bro...didn't see this before now. Always enjoyed your stuff on MD

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-07-09, 4:41 pm
GX - nice to see you over here bro...didn't see this before now. Always enjoyed your stuff on MD

Thank you, brother. You will have to forgive me, as I have no idea who you were over there.

So yes, as you see... I found a place to let it all out!

machineman
12-08-09, 6:38 am
good stuff, brother......and yes, the "differences" are that noticeable in my gym!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-08-09, 4:47 pm
Entry Title: New Year's Devolution
2009 December 08



Yeah, buddy… it is that time again. It comes around once a year. Forget what everyone else calls it…

New Year’s Resolution… my ass! More like New Year’s Eve Devolution.

And so now, we have to tiptoe around the many new faces who loudly proclaim, “I wanna lose weight, I wanna build muscle, I wanna eat right, I wanna…”

Out there, someone… maybe you, is saying that we all had to start somewhere. I cannot or will not try to deny that. We all had to take that first step down the road, as do everyone who comes into the gym.

However, who has the sack to continue? Who will tow the line, deal with the adversity that this thing will throw at them, and prove to themselves that they have a pair?
Those who really want it… That is who. We have paid our dues, and will keep on paying them, going broke in a way that no one can see or feel, yet being as rich as our dreams will allow us to be. And while we are gracious hosts in our dens, allowing the newcomers into the fold, we will wait. One week turns into two, two into three… when change starts to happen, they are happy, and ready for more. When change slows down and they eventually plateau, they are gone and no one ever sees them again. They are a victim of their own defeat. It must not mean enough. And what this means is that they will move backwards… whatever work they put in will mean absolutely jack shit as they fall down further than where they started out in the first place. Nice way to get ahead in life... the shit gets too hard... the shit gets too thick... the shit get too deep, and there is a breakdown to something that no one even recognizes or knows about.

Of course, there a few among that number of resolution makers that instead of saying, “I wanna…”, they stand the hell up, and they let their body do the talking for them as they tell us, “I’m GONNA…” For those that make that pledge, we welcome them to become one of us. Hell yeah.

“Wanna” and “gonna” are two different things. And oddly enough, the masses at large do neither. But you did not become a part of that crowd.

You survived the devolution. You have to love that.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-08-09, 4:50 pm
good stuff, brother......and yes, the "differences" are that noticeable in my gym!


It is hard not to notice. You should just start looking at what is in other people's baskets at the grocery store, or check out what is on people's plates if you go out to eat... the differences are so mindblowing, you will swear you are in the Twilight Zone.

Firedrake
12-08-09, 7:02 pm
Us: We were born for this.

Them: They wish they could be us, but never will be.

It fucking sucks to be them.

Nailed it. The call to the iron you can't ignore; the abject NEED to sweat, strain and grow; the fire that says, no matter how tired you are "I MUST do this." These are the differences.

These are the ones that create "gonna" from "wanna".

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-08-09, 8:39 pm
Nailed it. The call to the iron you can't ignore; the abject NEED to sweat, strain and grow; the fire that says, no matter how tired you are "I MUST do this." These are the differences.

These are the ones that create "gonna" from "wanna".

Damn straight! I bet you have seen a lot of them come and go, as well as some of them who wanted it bad enough, and all these years later, they have left everyone else in the dust.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-17-09, 5:24 pm
Entry Title: Scarred for Life
2009 December 17



As I recently heard it said, “Accumulating injuries is the price we pay for the thrill of not having sat around on our asses”.

Fuck yeah… that spoke to me for real. Stuff hurts. Stuff aches. We might leave bits of skin or traces of blood wherever we happen to frolic with the iron. We love it. We live for it. We need it. Given a choice, we just might die for it.

And today, as I moved from one set to the next, changing the weight, I happened to look up and saw a metrosexual guy giving himself the once over in the mirror.

Now, I understand a guy wanting to keep his appearance up to pull the ladies. Far be it from me to stop any guy from his pursuit of the booty. But man, it was 5:40 in the fucking morning, and there was not a woman anywhere in sight… so why the fuck was he in the mirror checking his goddamn hairline and teeth to make sure nothing was stuck between them? What the hell is that shit?! And then he went back and grabbed his 10’s, stood in front of the mirror, CROSSED his legs, and started to press.

What. the. fuck?

Is this the type of thing you all see? Do you at least see it from time to time? And as he put the weight down, I saw his hands… he looked like he had never done a hard day’s work in his life. Looking at his physique… if one can call it that… he damn sure did not do anything in the gym.

Priorities = shot to fuck. And people wonder why they do not get anywhere in the gym, and just give up…

And then I looked at myself… looked at my hands. They were scarred. Ugly… worn… palms cracked, with rough calluses from griping iron death like my life depended on it… skin dried out and peeling… slivers of flesh poking up from pinched fingers and fingertips.
I look at my legs, and see the bruising from dragging the bar up and down my shin, and scar tissue on the knees. I look at my face and see the hard lines that have been etched in from my years of struggle and torture just to prove something to myself first, and the world second.

Look at all of that, friends.

And then zoom out like I do, and get a look at the big picture… the body that has paid the price, and now reaps the rewards… the body that has been torn asunder under the harshest weight that you can bear, moving that shit like you were unstoppable and goddamn invincible, and still comes back, begging for more week after week. All the hurt in the world is worth it when you are face to face with the man in the mirror, and your greatness. You can look at yourself and say, “I did this shit”. Not just say it, but say it and know it. Fuck the pretty… life is not supposed to be pretty, and to us… this is life.

Yeah, looking at us, those who really care and have a fucking clue, we have battle scars. I wear mine proudly. And I am scarred for life. Capped delts, twisting highways of veins, a back thick like a side of beef, and legs that look like they can kick a hole in a brick wall… yeah, I will take my scars for sure.

Everyone else can worry about their hair, nails, and makeup.

Firedrake
12-17-09, 5:43 pm
Damn straight. MY hairline? Receding/thinning. Scars? Several -- surgeries major and minor. My hands? Calloused and thick.

Do I look GOOD? Ehh, maybe -- some say. I know I'm doing better than 95% of the guys my age out there, and that'll do.

strivin for more
12-17-09, 5:48 pm
And then zoom out like I do, and get a look at the big picture… the body that has paid the price, and now reaps the rewards… the body that has been torn asunder under the harshest weight that you can bear, moving that shit like you were unstoppable and goddamn invincible, and still comes back, begging for more week after week. All the hurt in the world is worth it when you are face to face with the man in the mirror, and your greatness. You can look at yourself and say, “I did this shit”. Not just say it, but say it and know it. Fuck the pretty… life is not supposed to be pretty, and to us… this is life.


my favorite part right here. really can relate.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-21-09, 8:00 pm
And then zoom out like I do, and get a look at the big picture… the body that has paid the price, and now reaps the rewards… the body that has been torn asunder under the harshest weight that you can bear, moving that shit like you were unstoppable and goddamn invincible, and still comes back, begging for more week after week. All the hurt in the world is worth it when you are face to face with the man in the mirror, and your greatness. You can look at yourself and say, “I did this shit”. Not just say it, but say it and know it. Fuck the pretty… life is not supposed to be pretty, and to us… this is life.


my favorite part right here. really can relate.

Glad you got something out of it, brother.

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-21-09, 8:02 pm
Entry Title: Choices
2009 December 21



Choices… yeah, we all have them. What we do with them defines who we are.

Take me, for example. There is a Christmas party tomorrow night at my Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu dojo. Starts at 7PM, and goes until whenever. It would be a good time. But I have to work at 7AM Wednesday morning, and when I get off at 4PM, I am not going to want to go train at that time, or have to deal with an after work crowd. And it takes me an hour… both ways… to get out to the dojo. And of course, I want to make my gym time before work. This means that in order to do that, I have to get to the gym earlier than when I normally do, so I have to go to bed an hour earlier to get up an hour earlier to start getting in my meals for the day and stay on track. SO… there will be no party for me. I have my priority. I had two choices, and I made mine, and will stick by it, and be proud of it.

It means that much to me. Never mind that the food would be decent, that there would be girl out there that I would want to see, or that there would be several hours straight of old UFC matches… forget their tale of the tape… what does that do for me and my tale of the tape, as I look to increase some numbers?

Not a damn thing.

Choices… yeah, we all have them. What do you do when you are faced with the hard ones? You knuckle up, bear down, and face the music, be it good or bad. When you want something, sacrifices have to be made if no compromise can be had. Is it hard? Fuck yeah. Is it worth it? FUCK YEAH.

At least it is in my world… I cannot speak for anyone else. But day in and day out, Life is nothing but one big choice… live it, and live it on your terms, or just let it run you into the ground. Not me… it does not go down like that here.

So the guy that does nothing with himself, wants this, wants that, but does nothing except complain about how hard it is… more power to him… that is his choice. Keep having a hard time running around the block, or not being able to lift anything heavier than a sack of groceries. Girlies, when you tell me that you do not want to work out and lose weight because you do not want to lose your boobs, fine… go right ahead… sit there and do nothing. But do not complain when no one wants you, the fat girl. That obviously must be what you want.

Pity… what they all really want is pity.

Fuck you. You cannot have it.

squattingtillipuke
12-22-09, 10:55 am
Choices - yup

I make a choice 5 days a week to hit the gym during my lunch hour...while the rest of the rats hit McDonald's, BK, etc...I am also not afraid to let them know that the choice I make is non-negotiable when it comes to lunch time meetings...sorry won't be there, have a nice day this is my time and I chose to destroy my body during this hour!!!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
12-26-09, 10:16 am
I hope everyone is enjoying their holidays with their families. As much as the iron is a part of our life, we definitely must not forget those who support and love us. Have a good one, everybody.

Here is a little motivation to carry us all into the New Year:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10ZGS1YL0bY

Firedrake
12-26-09, 12:55 pm
It's a quiet holiday -- family is in another state, as is my lady friend -- soon, though, soon . . . In the meantime, training goes well -- keep it goin' brother!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
01-06-10, 3:19 pm
Entry Title: Redline
2010 January 06


Out there, under the bright neon lights of the city, or the dull streetlights of the 'hoods all across the world, there are gatherings... gatherings of like-minded individuals, obsessed with a need... a need that can only be satisfied by high performance tires gripping the strip of pavement between point A and point B... a need that only the howl of a souped up engine can feed... a need that begs for more power each and every second until the job is done... yeah, guys and girls like want the title, and they are willing, waiting, and wanting to redline their ride to get it.

Pushing it until it can't be pushed anymore, and then saying "Fuck that... I KNOW I can get more!"

In the gym... that is our strip... our world. We redline too. Hell yeah.

Busting our asses for a return that we may or may not see, but everyone else will, we cannot be happy unless we feel we repped our shit, and repped it well. The distance from point A to point B?? It is different for everyone. But however far it is from A to B, we are tearing up shit along the way. If you are not, get the fuck off of the track. We have enough obstacles to dodge, and corners to take.

The bystanders stand by in amazement looking at what only we can do because they are still standing on the side without having attempted to get in on the action. The corporate man with his mission statements and self-serve mumbo jumbo fitness chain bullshit wants to keep us down, lock us up with some tired new-age law about inferiority and intimidation of others.

Why do I want to cruise, when I can push this shit until I am moving more and doing more beyond any of the bystanders' imaginations? Why would anyone?

Fuck... if you have not started to redline on a daily basis, it is time for you to pull over to the side and watch with the rest of them, before you get hurt out in this race.

I sure as hell am not slowing down. Whoever it is that is trying to catch me can eat my fucking dust.

machineman
01-06-10, 3:22 pm
good read, bro.....I agree as well....just get the fuck out of the way!!! most of those in the way will be gone in a months time anyway....always happens that way!

Gaoshang Xiongshou
01-06-10, 3:40 pm
good read, bro.....I agree as well....just get the fuck out of the way!!! most of those in the way will be gone in a months time anyway....always happens that way!

Ahh... the New Year's Resolutioners.

There are none of those around at 5:00AM. But I am!

machineman
01-06-10, 5:19 pm
Ahh... the New Year's Resolutioners.

There are none of those around at 5:00AM. But I am!

true that!

violator
01-07-10, 7:23 am
And then I looked at myself… looked at my hands. They were scarred. Ugly… worn… palms cracked, with rough calluses from griping iron death like my life depended on it… skin dried out and peeling… slivers of flesh poking up from pinched fingers and fingertips.


Everyone else can worry about their hair, nails, and makeup.

man hands..gotta love em... the sign of a true animal in my book...
while all the metros are worrying about their hair & makeup...we're worrying about whether or not this 180kg is coming off the floor a third time....

violator
04-08-10, 2:40 pm
page bump...where is this guy?...hope ur ok Big GX...

Survivor831
04-08-10, 7:37 pm
page bump...where is this guy?...hope ur ok Big GX...

Agreed.......Would like to hear from you man. Hope all is well.