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addicted_to_iron
05-18-09, 11:25 am
To first introduce my self.
Im 25 year old from the northern part of Sweden.
I study psychology at a university here and sometimes works extra at grouphomes within the neuropsychiatric care.
Not really used to write that much in english so you´ll have to excuse me if you sometimes have to read a sentence more than one time :)

This diary is meant to be about my training aswell as my thoughts about everything in life.

Anyway i have been training for about 8, soon 9 years.
When i was young i was very shy and didnt make much noise.
The usual victim for all kinds of bullying.
When i was about 16-17 years old it got really bad.
I got into a deep depression. Anxiety, stress, suicide thoughts... well all the negative emotions u can think of.
Started drinking quite heavily at age 16 and was an alcoholic at age 17.
One day i followed a friend to the gym. I liked the feeling it gave me and soon i was totally into weightlifting. I stopped drinking and focused purely on my training.
With the help of the iron i got a sense of control over myself and my life.
It was something that was purely mine and that NO ONE could take away from me.
All the hate towards myself and all the suicide thoughts i turned into pure rage.
That aggression and rage gave me the power to change my way of thinking and to survive whatever shit came in my way.
My training was never a hobby for me. From the first time i picked up the weights it became a piece of my identity.
Sure that has also had some negative effects like megarexia(dont know if its spelled that way in english?). But without the weights my chances of recovery would have been at lot less.

Anyway... ill write more about myself and my personal history later.
I just started training after have being sick with two different infections at the same time.
I havent even heard about anyone else having two different at the same time and having to eat two different antibiotics to combat the infections. lol
But i always seem to get in situations that are odd. It has been that way my whole life.
Been sick for about 3 weeks and because of the infections that was in my throat and mouth i couldnt barely eat anything so ive dropped a lot of weight.
Havent had the courage to stand to take a look what i weigh now.

My stats before i got sick :
170 cm tall... guess thats about 5-7 or 5-8?
I weighed about 110 kg with clothes on... guess thats around 237 lbs.
Benchpress : 4 rep at 185 kg - about 408 lbs. One easy rep at 190 kg. Havent tried to max out higher.
Squats : 3 reps at 200 kg - 440 lbs
Barbell curl : 3 not that strict reps at 82,5 kg - 182 lbs.
One arm seated row : A couple of reps at 100 kg/225 lbs per arm
Deadlift : 1 rep at 250 kg - 550 lbs. 3 years ago.
Shoulder dumbell presses : 3 reps with 55 kg dumbells - 121 lbs. 2 years ago.
Shoulder military presses : 3 reps at 85 kg - 187 lbs. 6 months ago.

Ive had a lot of injuries. Torn pec that fucks up my training now and then.
Torn quadriceps tendons thats never gonna heal.
Back injuries.
Torn supra spinatus tendon.
Torn teres minor muscle.
So it has been like a rollercoaster with all the injuries.

The plan is to do it this way. Ill try to train about 5 sessions a week and i rest the days that i feel my body needs it.

Day 1 : Chest, Back(Lats)
Day 2 : Lower back(deadlifts and so on), hamstrings, calves
Day 3 : Shoulders, upper back(The whole trapz area)
Day 4 : Arms
Day 5 : Quads, abs and calves

My training session yesterday - arms

Barbell curl : 7 reps at 70 kg - 154 lbs
3 reps 75 kg - 165 lbs

Hammercurl : two sets. First with 21 kgs dumbells. Second with 28 kgs dumbells - 61 lbs.

Curl in machin both hammergrip and ordinary grip 6 sets

One arm pushdowns ordinary and reversed grip 4 sets

Scullcrushers with dumbells : ? reps with 21 kgs dumbells
2 reps with 28 kgs dumbells - 61 lbs. lol That one went bad.

Pushdowns 5 sets.

Ill convert some of the sets from kg to lbs but not every set. Takes too long time with a calculator :)

If anyone has any questions or wants to give an opinion write me a line in the thread.
Have a nice day :)

C.Coronato
05-18-09, 4:26 pm
Welcome. You have come a long way and you have landed in the right place. Keep up the hard work and motivation. You have some impressive numbers.

addicted_to_iron
05-18-09, 5:09 pm
Welcome. You have come a long way and you have landed in the right place. Keep up the hard work and motivation. You have some impressive numbers.

Thanks! :)

addicted_to_iron
05-18-09, 5:13 pm
The plan for today was to train quads, abs and calves but it´ll have to wait to tomorrow.
Have been resting for an hour or two and now its time for some studies for about 2-3 hours before its bedtime.
Have two exams in social psychology and environmental psychology to study for.
Its going to be quite an challenge to try and pass both tests.

addicted_to_iron
05-18-09, 6:32 pm
An old sidechest. 2-3 years old. Weighed about 220 lbs.

http://s690.photobucket.com/albums/vv268/GL83/?action=view&current=sidechestNY.jpg

2,5-3 years old benchpress pic. I censored my facial expression there. lol Dont have the original pic left.

http://s690.photobucket.com/albums/vv268/GL83/?action=view&current=Bnk.jpg

Newer sidechest a couple of months old. Id guess i weighed about 230 lbs there.

http://s690.photobucket.com/albums/vv268/GL83/?action=view&current=Bild054.jpg

Newer back pic. Taken at the same time as the newer sidechest.

http://s690.photobucket.com/albums/vv268/GL83/?action=view&current=ryggokt08b.jpg

2-3 years old side tricep.

http://s690.photobucket.com/albums/vv268/GL83/?action=view&current=triceps.jpg


First time i use photobucket so i hope it works. Write a line if the pics doesnt come up.
Disturbingly enough i think i look bigger in the older pics.
I guess it has to do with better lighting and no tattoo on the left arm.
Ive noticed the tattoo has done that my arm actually looks smaller.
I Should at least be a bit bigger in the newer pics even though i havent had much results because of all the injuries.
Feedback would be appreciated :)

omgi
05-19-09, 5:44 pm
Welcome aboard! Nice to see someone else from Sweden joining the ranks. I'll be following your progress here. Good luck with your journey (and the exams)!

addicted_to_iron
05-20-09, 11:30 am
Welcome aboard! Nice to see someone else from Sweden joining the ranks. I'll be following your progress here. Good luck with your journey (and the exams)!

Thanks :) Ill check out your journey page when ive got me a meal and some rest.

addicted_to_iron
05-20-09, 12:10 pm
Todays quad session. The meaning was to also train abs and calves but i was so damn exhausted i barely managed to do the minimum sets for my quads.

Squats. Have been sick for a couple of weeks and had no idea how much weaker i am since the last session so i went for a couple of warm up sets. maybe 4-5 warm ups.
Working set : 4 reps at 180 kg - around 400 lbs.
Damn that was fuckin tough. I saw a bunch of stars after the set and fell down against the bench breathing like ive run a marathon. I felt the vomit come up in my mouth and barely managed to swallow it down and not let it out on the floor. lol

Leg presses. Did maybe 5 sets of pyramids here failure on all of them.
Swallowed down the vomit after each set. First starting set maybe 30-40 reps and the last set was 5 reps at 430-440 kg - around 950 lbs.
Quite an feeling of both love and hate. I love to push myself to failure and beyond.
A couple of years ago i often got called psycho because of my training sessions.
Just letting out all the anger and anxiety and attack the weights.

After these sets i was so fuckin exhausted i forced myself to do at least 3 sets of leg extensions and then sat for 15 minutes in the locker room catching my breath and then a short walk home. Really nice feeling afterwards. All calm, relaxed and a feeling of satisfaction after a nice training session :) Have maybe lost 10-20 kg of working weight but i should be able to regain that amount in a week or two.


To change the subject for a while... Something that ive been annoyed at for long is all the fucked up people out there with no respect for either themselfes or other people.
Ive always been the one to stand by and support friends and other people i barely know.
Im good at analysing people, to listen, understand and give advice.
But i get so fuckin annoyed at the ones that are so damn determined to se themselfes as victims in this world. Their problems is always caused by other people, bad luck, the government and so on. Sure other people and bad luck can get someone in a whole lot of shit but 50 % percent of how your are dealing with your situation and how you are feeling is up to yourself. The main advice i try to give for people that havent any hope is to find a spark in themselfes. Take pride in the struggle they go through.
Some people glide through life and others have to fight their way through life.
I dont get stuff for free. Ive myself have had to fight my way through the most of things.
Whether its about bad genetics for building mass and strenght or whether its about passing a semester of school and because of long term sickness risking losing my student loan.
Or just surviving without breaking down from taking so much shit from other people.
The thing is to turn all that stress, all that anxiety in to anger. Anger that gives u fuel to fight on. Never giving up and trying to look forth possibilites so solve problems and not just see the obstacles.

Well ill take an example of a friend of mine i tried to support since i got to know her but now ive come to the solution that my support wont do shit for her and that she has to take responsability for her own life.
Anyway we met on the net. Started talking and then met up for a coffee.
As many others do they confine in me and she told me her life story.
Shes 23 years old and has already experienced a lot of shit... being beaten by boyfriends, got busted for drugs, lost custody of her daughter, got raped 3 times... parents were alcoholics, all brothers and sisters either are doin drugs or are recently trying to recover from it. Anyway this girl had been drugfree for one year according to what she told me besides the medicine she eats because of here epilepsy(that was originally drog induced) and benzodiazepines against panic attacks.
She was in a quite bad shape and i felt sorry for her. She had grown up with drugs around her, parents that didnt really care and well... her starting point in life was set early.
I decided to try to support her, give her advice and keep her from doing stupid things.
Trying to give her a new perspective on life and a fighting spirit to draw energy from.
Anyway after a couple of months when she got better mentaly and was more... well whats the word... more awake and not tired 24/7. What does she do?
Well... she gets a new boyfriend that treats her like shit and she starts to hangout with her old friends. Her search for excitement took over and all thoughts of a healthier life and responsability for herself and others flew out the window.
I had though expected it. Its a lot easier to fuck up everything and then sit on her lazy ass and complain about how much a victim she is of bad coincidencies and shit.
To put the story to short i said to her not to fuckin call me everytime she felt down if she wasnt ready to take my advice and fight for a better life.
We all have a choice in this life and those choices of the way of life cant be pushed on from anybody else. We have to make our own choices and choose if we want to fight or just continue to se ourselfes as some tragic and fucked up victims of life.

Now its time for some food, good music and a cup or two of coffee :)

omgi
05-21-09, 6:19 am
First of all, thats some heavy weights with cruel intensity. Good stuff, love it!
I really like your attitude and the way you seem to do your workouts. You've got an iron mind and a "no bullshit"-attitude. That is pretty much what it takes to rise up in life and overcome hardships and problems in my eyes.
Thats one of the things I see people lack in our society. Everyone is so lazy and used to getting their shit handed to them. They have no will, their minds are as frail as glass. As soon as something gets hard or challenging, they push it away and stop trying. Few people are ready to take up the fight and struggle.

I can see some similarities when you say that people turn to you for help. I don't know why, but I've always gotten along with pretty much everyone in my past (and Im NOT the asskisser). People have often come to me when in trouble and respected my oppinion/help. Occasionally, I've met people like the one you described. Not with that dark backround, but people that keep giving up and falling back to the old patterns. It's really sad to see, and frustrating when you are the one trying to help. I think you are doing as much as you can and should. You can't do everything for everyone, in the end it's up to them to complete the fight.




Now its time for some food, good music and a cup or two of coffee :)

A great idea! Coffe and Dissection - The Somberlain on my tab!

addicted_to_iron
05-21-09, 8:52 am
First of all, thats some heavy weights with cruel intensity. Good stuff, love it!
I really like your attitude and the way you seem to do your workouts. You've got an iron mind and a "no bullshit"-attitude. That is pretty much what it takes to rise up in life and overcome hardships and problems in my eyes.
Thats one of the things I see people lack in our society. Everyone is so lazy and used to getting their shit handed to them. They have no will, their minds are as frail as glass. As soon as something gets hard or challenging, they push it away and stop trying. Few people are ready to take up the fight and struggle.

I can see some similarities when you say that people turn to you for help. I don't know why, but I've always gotten along with pretty much everyone in my past (and Im NOT the asskisser). People have often come to me when in trouble and respected my oppinion/help. Occasionally, I've met people like the one you described. Not with that dark backround, but people that keep giving up and falling back to the old patterns. It's really sad to see, and frustrating when you are the one trying to help. I think you are doing as much as you can and should. You can't do everything for everyone, in the end it's up to them to complete the fight.




A great idea! Coffe and Dissection - The Somberlain on my tab!

Thanks for the feedback :)
Yeah well society has a way of fucking everything up.
The individualism are as fucked up as the feminism.
Feminism started out as similar rights for women regarding rights to vote, work, salory and so on. Now some idiots are almost denying women has vaginas and men has penises.
The invidiualism went from the right for the individual to develop, choose the way of life and being your own person to egoism.
Now ppl are only thinking about themselfes and if someone is caught lying down wounded well hell yes why not stomp on the person as well so the person stomping can feel even better about him or herself.
No one dares take any responsability either.
Ive fought my way through most things in my life and i will alwas take pride in my no bullshit attitude. No person is perfect, neither am i but i try to always be sincere and straight up. Im used to being the object of prejudices both because of how i look and because of ppl cant sort my in to some stereotypical person.
That has both downsides and upsides. I take pride in being myself and walking my own path and i have never betrayed my own personality to play any games to fit in among other ppl or groups. Ppl has to take me as i am or they can fuck off.
When i meet ppl i often challenge them to think.
I question what they say. The few times a person can express himself with an intelligent answer i may have found a new friend and even if we dont like eachother i will respect the person for having an opinion and values that is his owns and not inflicted by others bullshit or by societys standards of how u oughta think or act.

A while ago i discussed this with a cognitive behaviour therapist and she had a nice way of expressing the problem. She said that most ppl are so afraid of reflecting about themselfes and challenging their current way of seeing themselfes and the world around them.
To challenge yourself and what u think u know and risk of finding out what u have been wrong is too painful for most ppl and therefore its quite easier to live in denial and continue using their constructed fantasyworlds as a way of getting through life and anything that threatens that fantasyworld is avoided or put in denial.

With that said... and to shift over to something more positive the summer seems to be on its way here to even the northern part of swe :)
Coffee, AC/DC, some food and one hour of social psychology studies and then i´m off to the gym for a session with chest and upper back! :)

addicted_to_iron
05-21-09, 12:29 pm
Todays session of pecs, lats and calves

Pecs

Benchpress : 2 reps with a bit of help on the second at 170 kg - 375 lbs. Ivé lost over 20 kg here(45 lbs). Aprox. what i suspected. Well not that suprising after being sick for three weeks without food and not having trained pecs for 4 weeks almost.
2 sets at 110 kg(244 lbs) with 3 second stops at the bottom.
I found this tecnique to be good for increasing both the form and explosiveness.
After this my earlier torn left pectoralis minor did feel a bit irritated so i went on to machine excercises.

Cablecrossover 3 sets highrep

Pec deck 3 sets high rep

Machinepresses 3 sets high rep

Lats

Pulldowns reversed grip 3 sets pyramid all sets to failure... ah well i always do all sets to failure. Third set a couple of reps at 105 kg(230 lbs). The first set was about 15-20 reps dont remember the weight.
Besides the loss in strenght i think a lot of the loss here was because i did pecs before.
I usually split up these two musclegroups.

Machinerows 3 sets pyramid 15-20 reps, 8-12 reps, 7 reps

Cablepullovers 4 sets highrep

T-bar rows 2 sets dont know the weight

Calves

Seated presses in a legpress machine 4 set highreps

Standing raises in hacklift 4 sets pyramid last set 8 reps at 340 kg(750 lbs).

Thats it. It took almost 2 hours. I have mostly been doing a lot of single sets lately.
Time to make my body adapt to higher intensity.
Ill train every musclegroup through one time now when i get started after being sick and then its time to push the intensity and to throw in some supersets, dropsets and so on.

omgi
05-21-09, 5:49 pm
Thanks for the feedback :)
Yeah well society has a way of fucking everything up.
The individualism are as fucked up as the feminism.
Feminism started out as similar rights for women regarding rights to vote, work, salory and so on. Now some idiots are almost denying women has vaginas and men has penises.
The invidiualism went from the right for the individual to develop, choose the way of life and being your own person to egoism.
Now ppl are only thinking about themselfes and if someone is caught lying down wounded well hell yes why not stomp on the person as well so the person stomping can feel even better about him or herself.
No one dares take any responsability either.
Ive fought my way through most things in my life and i will alwas take pride in my no bullshit attitude. No person is perfect, neither am i but i try to always be sincere and straight up. Im used to being the object of prejudices both because of how i look and because of ppl cant sort my in to some stereotypical person.
That has both downsides and upsides. I take pride in being myself and walking my own path and i have never betrayed my own personality to play any games to fit in among other ppl or groups. Ppl has to take me as i am or they can fuck off.

I feel that you have a very sane attitude, and I agree with you.



When i meet ppl i often challenge them to think.
I question what they say. The few times a person can express himself with an intelligent answer i may have found a new friend and even if we dont like eachother i will respect the person for having an opinion and values that is his owns and not inflicted by others bullshit or by societys standards of how u oughta think or act.

I'm very analytical as a person, and have always been. Most people mistake me for being withdrawn and someone who shuns social gatherings. That might be true to some extent, but not entirely. I like to keep a low profile when in a new environment. As I wrote earlier, people have still found me to be a very reliable source and turn to me for many things. As time has passed, I have met some people who are as analytical as me. They have found me reliable and honest too, but they still challenge how I think as you put it. They want to know "why" and "how", even if it is very mundane and simple things. I feel that is very important as you shouldn't take anything for granted. The most mundane and simple things could be the hardest things to explain, but could at the same time give you the most rewarding information. I feel that it helps me to get more views and better perspectives.

Even though I spend so much time thinking about people around me, I never jump to conclusions about anyone. I never allow myself to get upset if someone acts bad or do something that I don't like. Instead I try to find the reason as to why this person did that, because I know there is always a reason.



A while ago i discussed this with a cognitive behaviour therapist and she had a nice way of expressing the problem. She said that most ppl are so afraid of reflecting about themselfes and challenging their current way of seeing themselfes and the world around them.
To challenge yourself and what u think u know and risk of finding out what u have been wrong is too painful for most ppl and therefore its quite easier to live in denial and continue using their constructed fantasyworlds as a way of getting through life and anything that threatens that fantasyworld is avoided or put in denial.

That was a very interesting way to put it, and I must agree. I think that the way our lives are influenced by media and society has pushed forward this problem. I came to terms with myself quite early in life. I don't see myself as anything other than mediocre. Not from low self esteem, but just as a honest reflection. I have always exceled in most things - studies, sport, games etc, but I have still seen myself as mediocre. This does NOT mean that I look down on other people, because my views are based on the fact that I always feel that I can improve and become much better, and because I am relating to the very best in that field. I think it is very important to realise your place, what your strength is, your flaws, what you can improve and come to terms with it, instead of letting it lower your self esteem and put you in that situation as you describe. This might be difficult if you find yourself in a tough situation, like when you grew up and people picked on you. That might rob you of the strength and will power you need to achieve it.

omgi
05-21-09, 5:58 pm
How does your dieting look btw? How good track do you keep of it, and what supplements are you using? (Remember not to mention any brands since it is against forum rules, unless it is Animal/Universal products that is)

Firedrake
05-21-09, 6:10 pm
You certainly have an interesting Journey -- that's a great workout today, and I truly sympathize with trying to help people that refuse to be helped! Consider me subbed.

addicted_to_iron
05-21-09, 7:06 pm
I feel that you have a very sane attitude, and I agree with you.


I'm very analytical as a person, and have always been. Most people mistake me for being withdrawn and someone who shuns social gatherings. That might be true to some extent, but not entirely. I like to keep a low profile when in a new environment. As I wrote earlier, people have still found me to be a very reliable source and turn to me for many things. As time has passed, I have met some people who are as analytical as me. They have found me reliable and honest too, but they still challenge how I think as you put it. They want to know "why" and "how", even if it is very mundane and simple things. I feel that is very important as you shouldn't take anything for granted. The most mundane and simple things could be the hardest things to explain, but could at the same time give you the most rewarding information. I feel that it helps me to get more views and better perspectives.

Even though I spend so much time thinking about people around me, I never jump to conclusions about anyone. I never allow myself to get upset if someone acts bad or do something that I don't like. Instead I try to find the reason as to why this person did that, because I know there is always a reason.


That was a very interesting way to put it, and I must agree. I think that the way our lives are influenced by media and society has pushed forward this problem. I came to terms with myself quite early in life. I don't see myself as anything other than mediocre. Not from low self esteem, but just as a honest reflection. I have always exceled in most things - studies, sport, games etc, but I have still seen myself as mediocre. This does NOT mean that I look down on other people, because my views are based on the fact that I always feel that I can improve and become much better, and because I am relating to the very best in that field. I think it is very important to realise your place, what your strength is, your flaws, what you can improve and come to terms with it, instead of letting it lower your self esteem and put you in that situation as you describe. This might be difficult if you find yourself in a tough situation, like when you grew up and people picked on you. That might rob you of the strength and will power you need to achieve it.

Well its apparent that you are a analytical and thinking person in the way u reply on my posts :)

Well the thing with media and society... its a kind of give and take relationship.
Sure u can blame media for a lot but at the same time who creates the media?
People do. And society is made of people.
The thing with making people think and reflect for themselfes... its quite an challenge.
And with some people its impossible.
Sure i will continue to challenge people but sometimes it isnt worth the effort.
I am myself a mix between a cynic and a humanist.
I help people, i give advice to people, i try to make them think of things from more than one perspective but at the same time there isnt a lot of really good people.
There´s a few good people that can do good things for others without any double agenda but those are few. Theres a majority of people that are as bad as they are good.
It all depens on wich people they interact with and what they get out of it.
And then theres the garbage that i could just fuck off and die.
At the same time... there are a need of some shit to appreaciate the good things more.
Im not for things done mediocre but in some areas of life balance is the key and that balance isnt there for many people anymore.
If it were, psychiatric problems wouldnt be so rampadly increasing as they are nowadays.

You described your view of yourself so i will do the same.
I would actually put my own worth over many people.
I know i am a good person, i know im intelligent, i know i have a lot to give.
But i also know my weaknesses and im working to improve them.
I will never be able to be a pro bodybuilder or break any world records in powerlifting.
I dont perform as an A student even though i could perform better than im doing now.
I still have the problem from my past that haunts me and drains energy.
That also split in two. Sure, the basis comes from me taken so much shit from ppl. Having bud luck with some things in life and so on. But the other part is my own.
I cant rely on someone else to jump in and make it all better.
I have to work on it myself. Ivé been working with my own way of thinking and dealing with my problems. Ive come a long way, if not i would have trashed myself. But i still have a long way to go. Sure i could blame the feelings of being constantly misunderstood, judged, lonely and so on. But it wont help me a shit. Lifes here and now and its up to me to deal with it. And this i something i try to incorporate in other peoples way of thinking when they feel like everything and everyone is against them.

If u have to drag yourself through a lot of shit u have a right to complain but u also have a obligation to yourself to keep fighting trough it.
Before i got all the injuries i visualised myself going to war when i trained.
Instead of giving up because of the pain i searched for more.
It enabled me to push boundaries. I could bleed from my nose, vomit, tear blood vessels but i just laughed at it. Because it wasnt just lifting iron and loving it, it was fighting all the shit i had inside me. I actually said to people who knew me and didnt understand it that someone people cut themselfes in their arms and i lift weights.
Hormonally it have some similaritys. Adrenalin and endorphine release.
I still train as hard as i can but i cant really go all out like that on the gym im training a now or they would throw me out. lol No dusting magnesium over the whole place, screaming to psyche me up or loud heavy metal.

Regarding your question about my diet i dont really have any strict plan i follow.
Much depends on what i afford, how my stomach feels the current day and so on.
But i try to get around 200 g of protein, 400 g carbs. I dont aim for some certain amount of fat. Sometimes i dont use any supplements at all. Depends on how much money i have.
But usually i use some protein powder whey/egg, vitamins, minerals and occasionally omega 3.

addicted_to_iron
05-21-09, 7:16 pm
You certainly have an interesting Journey -- that's a great workout today, and I truly sympathize with trying to help people that refuse to be helped! Consider me subbed.

Thanks :) its nice to get feedback and knowing that people find my journal interesting.

omgi
05-22-09, 12:10 pm
Well its apparent that you are a analytical and thinking person in the way u reply on my posts :)

Well the thing with media and society... its a kind of give and take relationship.
Sure u can blame media for a lot but at the same time who creates the media?
People do. And society is made of people.
The thing with making people think and reflect for themselfes... its quite an challenge.
And with some people its impossible.
Sure i will continue to challenge people but sometimes it isnt worth the effort.
I am myself a mix between a cynic and a humanist.
I help people, i give advice to people, i try to make them think of things from more than one perspective but at the same time there isnt a lot of really good people.
There´s a few good people that can do good things for others without any double agenda but those are few. Theres a majority of people that are as bad as they are good.
It all depens on wich people they interact with and what they get out of it.
And then theres the garbage that i could just fuck off and die.
At the same time... there are a need of some shit to appreaciate the good things more.
Im not for things done mediocre but in some areas of life balance is the key and that balance isnt there for many people anymore.
If it were, psychiatric problems wouldnt be so rampadly increasing as they are nowadays.


I agree with you. I guess that I don't like most people, the media or the society in general. There are some shining stars out there that you encounter from time to time, and that is what prevents me from losing all faith in humanity.



You described your view of yourself so i will do the same.
I would actually put my own worth over many people.
I know i am a good person, i know im intelligent, i know i have a lot to give.
But i also know my weaknesses and im working to improve them.
I will never be able to be a pro bodybuilder or break any world records in powerlifting.
I dont perform as an A student even though i could perform better than im doing now.
I still have the problem from my past that haunts me and drains energy.
That also split in two. Sure, the basis comes from me taken so much shit from ppl. Having bud luck with some things in life and so on. But the other part is my own.
I cant rely on someone else to jump in and make it all better.
I have to work on it myself. Ivé been working with my own way of thinking and dealing with my problems. Ive come a long way, if not i would have trashed myself. But i still have a long way to go. Sure i could blame the feelings of being constantly misunderstood, judged, lonely and so on. But it wont help me a shit. Lifes here and now and its up to me to deal with it. And this i something i try to incorporate in other peoples way of thinking when they feel like everything and everyone is against them.

You have a very healthy attitude, and it is so damn clear why you pulled through the way you did just reading about it.



If u have to drag yourself through a lot of shit u have a right to complain but u also have a obligation to yourself to keep fighting trough it.
Before i got all the injuries i visualised myself going to war when i trained.
Instead of giving up because of the pain i searched for more.
It enabled me to push boundaries. I could bleed from my nose, vomit, tear blood vessels but i just laughed at it. Because it wasnt just lifting iron and loving it, it was fighting all the shit i had inside me. I actually said to people who knew me and didnt understand it that someone people cut themselfes in their arms and i lift weights.
Hormonally it have some similaritys. Adrenalin and endorphine release.
I still train as hard as i can but i cant really go all out like that on the gym im training a now or they would throw me out. lol No dusting magnesium over the whole place, screaming to psyche me up or loud heavy metal.

Thats a serious source of energy you have right there. I find training to be the best thing to vent that kind of energy in. I'm happy you turned to that instead of other things.
I like to really psyche myself up and go mental when doing my routines too. I can't really go over all limits at my present gym (if I am to be allowed to continue training there), and I don't feel like I want to press over all limits in that way. That is because I don't want to get a serious injury that will rob me of the ability to train seriously. It may sound pussywhipped, but at least I'm trying to maintain an iron mind and solid determination.



Regarding your question about my diet i dont really have any strict plan i follow.
Much depends on what i afford, how my stomach feels the current day and so on.
But i try to get around 200 g of protein, 400 g carbs. I dont aim for some certain amount of fat. Sometimes i dont use any supplements at all. Depends on how much money i have.
But usually i use some protein powder whey/egg, vitamins, minerals and occasionally omega 3.

Yeah it's the same with me. But I have quite low rent here, and don't spend money on anything in particular, so I have the money to use omega 3, multi vitamin, gainer, protein powder and even protein bars at some times.
If I am to be honest, I think you could be increasing the protein intake a lot, to somwhere around 300-350 since you seem to be a big guy and do really serious workouts. I don't know how much of that would go to waste, and in the end its up to you, but that's what I'd do.

addicted_to_iron
05-22-09, 2:33 pm
Back from the gym. My body was not in the mood for training today.
Pain in both my biceps tendons and felt a bit exhausted in my back from the squats earlier this week. At first i was thinking of resting today but i got annoyed even thinking about it so i went to the gym to do some deadlifts anyway.
First deadlift session in four weeks so it didnt really matter as long as i got it done.

A big bunch of warm up sets then :

1 rep at 200 kg(440 lbs)

1 attempt at 220 kg(285 lbs) but got stuck under the knees.

I was first thinking of doing highrep instead but i really hate high rep with deadlifts.
My back is a lot stronger than my hamstrings so when i do higher reps i look like i have parkinson in my legs. lol
In that case i prefer doing several reps of deep deadlifts standing on a couple of plates.

Now its time for a shower and some food. Tomorrow it will be time for delts, trapz and hamstrings.

Omgi i´ll reply on your post later this evening when ive showered and have eaten some food.

addicted_to_iron
05-22-09, 8:00 pm
I agree with you. I guess that I don't like most people, the media or the society in general. There are some shining stars out there that you encounter from time to time, and that is what prevents me from losing all faith in humanity.


You have a very healthy attitude, and it is so damn clear why you pulled through the way you did just reading about it.


Thats a serious source of energy you have right there. I find training to be the best thing to vent that kind of energy in. I'm happy you turned to that instead of other things.
I like to really psyche myself up and go mental when doing my routines too. I can't really go over all limits at my present gym (if I am to be allowed to continue training there), and I don't feel like I want to press over all limits in that way. That is because I don't want to get a serious injury that will rob me of the ability to train seriously. It may sound pussywhipped, but at least I'm trying to maintain an iron mind and solid determination.



Yeah it's the same with me. But I have quite low rent here, and don't spend money on anything in particular, so I have the money to use omega 3, multi vitamin, gainer, protein powder and even protein bars at some times.
If I am to be honest, I think you could be increasing the protein intake a lot, to somwhere around 300-350 since you seem to be a big guy and do really serious workouts. I don't know how much of that would go to waste, and in the end its up to you, but that's what I'd do.

Ah, well pushing the limits always mean that you risk injuring yourself but for me i have noticed that i have to push myself that far to get the gains.
I always do sets to failure. But with willpower and adrenaline you can push yourself even further and that feeling is really something special.
Its not healthy lol... but the feeling is so damn good.
Combine that feeling with all the adrenaline, high weights that you know could crush you and then a personal best on top of that. For a short while after a set like that it feels like you own the world. I dont know even how to describe it. If you checked out the training pic i posted earlier... that pic has a lot of value to me.
I was shit scared of the weight and had spotters that wasnt even used to spot anyone.
When i laid down on the bench i actually said "If i die, i die but im fuckin gonna get at least one rep". I did two and afterwards i stood up and my whole body was shaking of all the adrenaline. I just stood there with a big grin on my face. It was a unique moment. Nothing else mattered, it was like i was alone there in the gym with only that bench and the barbell with the weights in front of me.

How big apartment do u have and what do u pay? Here we have high rent and those idiots deacrease their service and are going to raise the rent even more.
I currently pay over 4000 swedish crowns per month. Then add other bills and its not much money left for food and other things.
Ive tried periods with a higher protein intake but i cant really afford it.
I could go higher if i tried to only eat cheap tuna and other cheaper fish but i would puke it out after a day or two. And im not kidding about that.
Ive tried forcefeeding with just cheap and bad tasting food but after a day or two i cant even swallow it down and if i get it down i have to swallow a couple of more times just to hold down the vomit. So that solution is definitely out of the question.

omgi
05-22-09, 9:06 pm
Ah, well pushing the limits always mean that you risk injuring yourself but for me i have noticed that i have to push myself that far to get the gains.
I always do sets to failure. But with willpower and adrenaline you can push yourself even further and that feeling is really something special.
Its not healthy lol... but the feeling is so damn good.
Combine that feeling with all the adrenaline, high weights that you know could crush you and then a personal best on top of that. For a short while after a set like that it feels like you own the world. I dont know even how to describe it.

Yeah I try to always push to failure, or atleast try to adjust the weight to have to struggle like a f*cker on the last rep (I set my mind on a fixed number of rep before I go in most exercises, as this will boost me... if it is too easy I continue to failure). I'd really like an experienced training partner so I could go "to failure and beyond", so I could get help when I hit positive failure so I can keep killing myself on the negatives. A good training partner helps your training soooooo damn much. Do you workout on your own now btw?



If you checked out the training pic i posted earlier... that pic has a lot of value to me.
I was shit scared of the weight and had spotters that wasnt even used to spot anyone.
When i laid down on the bench i actually said "If i die, i die but im fuckin gonna get at least one rep". I did two and afterwards i stood up and my whole body was shaking of all the adrenaline. I just stood there with a big grin on my face. It was a unique moment. Nothing else mattered, it was like i was alone there in the gym with only that bench and the barbell with the weights in front of me.
Those moments are what makes training the thing I enjoy the most in the entire world (heh), and it has been that way my entire life.



How big apartment do u have and what do u pay? Here we have high rent and those idiots deacrease their service and are going to raise the rent even more.
I currently pay over 4000 swedish crowns per month. Then add other bills and its not much money left for food and other things.
Ive tried periods with a higher protein intake but i cant really afford it.
I could go higher if i tried to only eat cheap tuna and other cheaper fish but i would puke it out after a day or two. And im not kidding about that.
Ive tried forcefeeding with just cheap and bad tasting food but after a day or two i cant even swallow it down and if i get it down i have to swallow a couple of more times just to hold down the vomit. So that solution is definitely out of the question.

I share a "3-room" on 63 m^2 with a friend of mine. I have 30 min single trip to school. This area is a bit cheaper than others because it is so close to "Bergsjön", a "gangstah hood". I havent had any problems yet though, and the people living here are very nice. We share the rent of 5000 a month, so that's 2500 per person.
Yeah I know what you mean there. When I lived with my parents I ate tuna 3-4 times a day sometimes, and it was really aweful. I get along quite cheap with my food as I buy everything on Lidl. These are the essentials I stick to:

Eggs - 35kr for 24 eggs
Quark (kvarg) - 11kr for 60g of QUALITY slow protein, less than 1% fat
Milk - 6 kr for 1 litre
Rice - about 30kr for 4kg
Oats - about 15kr for 1.5kg
Chicken - whenever its on sale (40-50kr/kg)

I used to eat alaska polock day in and day out, but they have increased the price of it with 33% everywhere, its insane.

I try to keep my protein between 250-300g. Fat and carbs vary A LOT from day to day.

addicted_to_iron
05-23-09, 9:13 am
Yeah I try to always push to failure, or atleast try to adjust the weight to have to struggle like a f*cker on the last rep (I set my mind on a fixed number of rep before I go in most exercises, as this will boost me... if it is too easy I continue to failure). I'd really like an experienced training partner so I could go "to failure and beyond", so I could get help when I hit positive failure so I can keep killing myself on the negatives. A good training partner helps your training soooooo damn much. Do you workout on your own now btw?


Those moments are what makes training the thing I enjoy the most in the entire world (heh), and it has been that way my entire life.



I share a "3-room" on 63 m^2 with a friend of mine. I have 30 min single trip to school. This area is a bit cheaper than others because it is so close to "Bergsjön", a "gangstah hood". I havent had any problems yet though, and the people living here are very nice. We share the rent of 5000 a month, so that's 2500 per person.
Yeah I know what you mean there. When I lived with my parents I ate tuna 3-4 times a day sometimes, and it was really aweful. I get along quite cheap with my food as I buy everything on Lidl. These are the essentials I stick to:

Eggs - 35kr for 24 eggs
Quark (kvarg) - 11kr for 60g of QUALITY slow protein, less than 1% fat
Milk - 6 kr for 1 litre
Rice - about 30kr for 4kg
Oats - about 15kr for 1.5kg
Chicken - whenever its on sale (40-50kr/kg)

I used to eat alaska polock day in and day out, but they have increased the price of it with 33% everywhere, its insane.

I try to keep my protein between 250-300g. Fat and carbs vary A LOT from day to day.

Yeah i usually train on my own. i have only had one training partner that i worked out with.
Rest of the people who have trained with me usually only do it once and then theyre out.
One classmate that trained arms with me puked and after that he doesnt want to train with me again. lol I love finishing sets with forced and then negative reps when i´m training with somebody and those negative reps are something most ppl cant handle because of the pain.
When i need assistance i just ask someone in the gym.

Ah u lucky bastard. Here we dont have Lidl. We have a couple of cheaper stores but theyre on the outskirts of town. Would have to have a car to go there.

omgi
05-23-09, 10:14 am
Yeah i usually train on my own. i have only had one training partner that i worked out with.
Rest of the people who have trained with me usually only do it once and then theyre out.
One classmate that trained arms with me puked and after that he doesnt want to train with me again. lol I love finishing sets with forced and then negative reps when i´m training with somebody and those negative reps are something most ppl cant handle because of the pain.
When i need assistance i just ask someone in the gym.

Yeah that's why I'd like to get a good training partner. I don't like asking strangers at the gym since half of them don't even know what they are doing.



Ah u lucky bastard. Here we dont have Lidl. We have a couple of cheaper stores but theyre on the outskirts of town. Would have to have a car to go there.
Yeah I lived here for 4 months without knowing I had one only a couple of 100 m from here! I accidentally got off the train one stop too far from here, and saw a big fucking "LIDL" sign shining straight in my face. Great, I thought! I can take the train just 1 stop to get to LIDL! And then one day as I was waiting extra long for the train back, I saw a familiar building on top of a hill behind a small forest.... my damn flat. So I can just walk through a small hillside woody area to get to it. It was the best christmas present I got this year! :D

addicted_to_iron
05-24-09, 3:32 pm
Yeah that's why I'd like to get a good training partner. I don't like asking strangers at the gym since half of them don't even know what they are doing.


Yeah I lived here for 4 months without knowing I had one only a couple of 100 m from here! I accidentally got off the train one stop too far from here, and saw a big fucking "LIDL" sign shining straight in my face. Great, I thought! I can take the train just 1 stop to get to LIDL! And then one day as I was waiting extra long for the train back, I saw a familiar building on top of a hill behind a small forest.... my damn flat. So I can just walk through a small hillside woody area to get to it. It was the best christmas present I got this year! :D

Haha :) Well regarding spotters it works as long as you instruct them on how to do it.
Not as good as with a training partner but a lot better than not having a spotter at all.
I cant even do heavier benching without a spotter because of my old injuries.
When i bench heavier i need help on the negative part down to the chest before i push up my first rep. Dont know why that is but its something ive noticed when i had to experiment on how to train to be able to train at all. Some injuries dont ever heal correctly so u have to experiment on ways to train that works. Different angles, help from spotters and so on.

addicted_to_iron
05-24-09, 3:45 pm
Todays session of delts and trapz

Delts

One arm dumbell side raises :
1 set with 21 kg´s(46lbs)
8 reps with 28 kg´s(60 lbs)
5 reps with 28 kg´s(60 lbs)

Barbell upright rows two sets at 110 lbs

Alternate front dumbell raises 1 set with 21 kg´s(46 lbs)
5 reps with 28 kg´s(60 lbs)

Military presses in the smith machine :
1 set at 70 kg(155 lbs)
1 set at 90 kg(198 lbs)
5 reps at 100 kg(225 lbs)

Trapz

Standing reversed cable flyes 4 sets

Reversed pec deck 4 sets

Barbell schrugs :
3 sets heaviest a couple of reps at 150 kg(330 lbs)

Standing high upright rows with ordinary upright rows with a rope. 2 Supersets.

addicted_to_iron
05-24-09, 10:51 pm
Todays nutrition ->

190 g protein
600 g carbs
50 g fat

aprox. 3600 calories

My stomach is getting more and more used to food.
Starting easy because i barely couldnt eat anything for a couple of weeks when i was sick.
Ive also noticed that i should probably decrease my intake of milk.
Always had some problems with my stomach being really swollen. Now that i have been drinking less milk i dont have as much problems.
Still swollen all day long but not as it was before when i was drinking up to 2 liters a day.

Well... more protein, less milk. Thats the plan for now.
And trying to get in more quality foods.

addicted_to_iron
05-26-09, 9:26 am
Arms today

Biceps

Barbell curls :
4 ugly reps at 80 kg(176 lbs)
0 reps at 85 kg(187 lbs) lol this was too heavy today

Hammercurls 2 set with 21 kgs and 28 kgs(61 lbs)

Preacher curls with a barbell. Two sets. Each with a finish of negative reps.

One arm preacher curls in a machine. 4 sets. Each with a finish of negative(Excentric) reps.
I love the pain a finish with negative reps gives.


Triceps

One arm pushdowns 1 set

One arm reversed grip pushdowns 1 set

Scullcrushers 3 sets with a finish of negative/excentric reps at each.

Pushdowns 4 supersets with reversed and close grip

Rope extensions - Pushdowns wide grip 2 supersets

Then a couple of sets of reversed curls and wrist curls.

My left biceps tendon wasnt really in good shape today.
Time to shift excercises and train high reps for a session or two so the problem doesnt get worse.

addicted_to_iron
06-19-09, 8:55 pm
Have had my hands full lately so there hasnt been any updates.

My bw is up to about 245 lbs again.
Did squats for 8 reps at 375 lbs.
Today i did some pre-exhaustion for chest with cablecrossovers and benchpresses.

I´m at my parents so ill just give some quick updates the following days.

omgi
06-27-09, 3:22 pm
Have had my hands full lately so there hasnt been any updates.

My bw is up to about 245 lbs again.
Did squats for 8 reps at 375 lbs.
Today i did some pre-exhaustion for chest with cablecrossovers and benchpresses.

I´m at my parents so ill just give some quick updates the following days.


Wow there really were a lot of people decreasing their activity during june (myself included). Are you having a good summer?