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True Red
06-22-09, 8:40 am
You wake up everyday knowing that today you are going to give it all you have. You feel that hunger deep inside that wants to eat you alive if you don't release it. You want to push and push yourself some more and know that you have nothing left to give when you lay down for the night.

But some how some where something happens and it won't come out. It gets stuck inside and can't be released. You know that all you want to do is give it your all but then out of no where it just gets stuck, stuck inside of you like a knot that can't be undone. It takes you down it takes you way down and sucks you in to a dark place. You need to break free you need that release. But you don't know how to get it out.

I just know that here lately I feel stuck. I know that when I walk into the gym that I want to give it all I have but for some reason I come up short. I know I have it in me to push harder go longer and lift more train more but I seem to fall short. I feel like I am running on empty and can't switch to the other tank. I feel it eating away at me like I am cheating myself of my potential. I want more, I want to give more I want to feel completely spent when I am done. I want to unleash the beast that resides within and let it out to feed. I want to make my outside reflect what I feel on the inside.

I talked to my trainer who could not be more supportive (thanks Uncle Fester) He says sometime it happens to the best of us. I probably wouldn't be able to push through this without the support of my trainer. He is really a great support system. I know that I will get passed this just wondering if anyone else feels like this sometimes and what you did to help get past it.

xMATT182x
06-23-09, 5:02 am
You wake up everyday knowing that today you are going to give it all you have. You feel that hunger deep inside that wants to eat you alive if you don't release it. You want to push and push yourself some more and know that you have nothing left to give when you lay down for the night.

But some how some where something happens and it won't come out. It gets stuck inside and can't be released. You know that all you want to do is give it your all but then out of no where it just gets stuck, stuck inside of you like a knot that can't be undone. It takes you down it takes you way down and sucks you in to a dark place. You need to break free you need that release. But you don't know how to get it out.

I just know that here lately I feel stuck. I know that when I walk into the gym that I want to give it all I have but for some reason I come up short. I know I have it in me to push harder go longer and lift more train more but I seem to fall short. I feel like I am running on empty and can't switch to the other tank. I feel it eating away at me like I am cheating myself of my potential. I want more, I want to give more I want to feel completely spent when I am done. I want to unleash the beast that resides within and let it out to feed. I want to make my outside reflect what I feel on the inside.

I talked to my trainer who could not be more supportive (thanks Uncle Fester) He says sometime it happens to the best of us. I probably wouldn't be able to push through this without the support of my trainer. He is really a great support system. I know that I will get passed this just wondering if anyone else feels like this sometimes and what you did to help get past it.


Life can do this to ya man, do what you love and find the motivation in your life to strive further. Sometimes it's not easy but if you feel it deep down, it's bound to come out of it's cage sooner or later. Relax and do your thing dude, life can and always will be this way. Stay strong man.

True Red
06-23-09, 8:16 am
THanks I am not a dude though lol I am a chick, But thanks for your support. That is why i posted it on here to help get some insite into what others have done to help get them through this rut. Yesterday I went in with the mind set that today is the day i leave nothing left in me. I did it. I went in and left empty nothing left to give. I felt great. I have never felt better. I almost feel like a weight has been lifted.

I also decided to start training for Ms. Figure. This time next year I am going to compete. Man that feels good to set a goal of that magnatude for myself and know that I have the support that I need to make it happen.

xMATT182x
06-24-09, 1:07 am
THanks I am not a dude though lol I am a chick, But thanks for your support. That is why i posted it on here to help get some insite into what others have done to help get them through this rut. Yesterday I went in with the mind set that today is the day i leave nothing left in me. I did it. I went in and left empty nothing left to give. I felt great. I have never felt better. I almost feel like a weight has been lifted.

I also decided to start training for Ms. Figure. This time next year I am going to compete. Man that feels good to set a goal of that magnatude for myself and know that I have the support that I need to make it happen.

First off my apologies for calling you dude, I meant no disrespect so again I am sorry. Second thats awesome, I bet it felt great to let it all go and just give it everything.Do what you have to and it will all come together in time. I wish you the best of luck to you and train hard! I'm sure you can do it. Keep posting and let us know of your progress and questions!

True Red
06-24-09, 9:40 am
thanks for your support. I am working with my trainer Uncle Fester at the wonderful gym OSX doing his boot camp training as well as lifting 5 days a week. I am starting the new Jujitsu class in July that they are now going to offer. I am hopin that this in combination with eating right and eating often will get me to my goal sooner than expected. The animals on this site are great and the support and inspiration is amazing. thanks again.

ghost
06-24-09, 9:42 am
I did the only thing i know how... Ranger on.

times get tough, shit happens, people bail. Fuck em. fuck all of it. You do what is best for You, get the mission accomplished and drive on. :)

Gaoshang Xiongshou
06-24-09, 10:28 am
You wake up everyday knowing that today you are going to give it all you have. You feel that hunger deep inside that wants to eat you alive if you don't release it. You want to push and push yourself some more and know that you have nothing left to give when you lay down for the night.

But some how some where something happens and it won't come out. It gets stuck inside and can't be released. You know that all you want to do is give it your all but then out of no where it just gets stuck, stuck inside of you like a knot that can't be undone. It takes you down it takes you way down and sucks you in to a dark place. You need to break free you need that release. But you don't know how to get it out.

I just know that here lately I feel stuck. I know that when I walk into the gym that I want to give it all I have but for some reason I come up short. I know I have it in me to push harder go longer and lift more train more but I seem to fall short. I feel like I am running on empty and can't switch to the other tank. I feel it eating away at me like I am cheating myself of my potential. I want more, I want to give more I want to feel completely spent when I am done. I want to unleash the beast that resides within and let it out to feed. I want to make my outside reflect what I feel on the inside.

I talked to my trainer who could not be more supportive (thanks Uncle Fester) He says sometime it happens to the best of us. I probably wouldn't be able to push through this without the support of my trainer. He is really a great support system. I know that I will get passed this just wondering if anyone else feels like this sometimes and what you did to help get past it.

Today is today, and tomorrow will be different. Take it as it comes. We all find our ways to pull through, and you will too.

Aggression
06-24-09, 11:21 am
I can relate to the original topic here. There have been times where I'm at home, waiting to head to the gym, sipping on some Shock Therapy. I might get on my laptop and browse around YouTube for some hardcore training videos to psych me up. The Shock Therapy starts to hit me hard while I'm watching some heavy weight being through around with animalistic intensity. At that point, I think to myself ''Man, I'm going to fuck shit up tonight''. Then once I get there, I go hard, but by the end of the session, I feel like I could have gone harder. Maybe my psyche was screwed up a bit when I had to stray from the routine I layed out in my head because a particular machine was being used at the time. Maybe it was the friend back from college who wanted to shoot the shit with me for a few minutes between sets that got my mind off track. Every so often shit like that will happen. Other days, I tend to leave it all out there. You just gotta roll with the punches.

True Red
07-02-09, 2:49 pm
Yeah I am trying to leave what ever it is that I have to give right there in that gym and just drag myself home. I just found out that I have gall stones. I am only 33 this sucks. the current info is that I will be out of the gym for 4 to 6 weeks. I still have to talk to the surgen on the 15th to see how long for sure but anytime spent out of the gym is going to be hard. The first time I heard I would not be able to go to the gym it brough tears to my eys. Then I got mad. Why me why now. I have put so much into this and have gained so much from this that I am not ready to step back just yet. I am pissed off actually. I know that shit happens but why to me. I also no this is really no big deal that I will recover but man why now. I have so much still left to accomplish and taking that much time off scares the crap out of me. I don't want to get fat or loose the muscle that I have worked so hard to gain. I made it through having kidney stones twice and survived. This I will beat just givin up the gym is not a sacrafice i want to make right now. I will let you know what they say but I am hell bent on being out that long. I know that I keep hearing well if you have to you just have to but they don't know what it is like to be told you can't work out for 4-6 weeks like it is no big deal. Like it is a vacation or something. If I miss more than a day off I feel guilty. no way am i going to be ok with taking this much time off.

Sorry just a little stressed out of this. You try to eat right and make good choices in life and what I still get shit on. dam this is not fair. I guess i should be glad that gall stones is all that is wrong with me.

fenix237
07-08-09, 5:08 pm
hey there TrueRed,

sorry to hear about your setback- it's got to be disappointing and i don't blame you for feeling the way you do. keep things in perspective...the best thing for you to do is to make extra sure you're eating healthy, cutting back on cals that otherwise would be used for training- maybe find a book that really inspires/motivates you in the meantime. whenever i feel like i'm losing ground, all i need to do is look how much better i have it than lots of people around the world- then i feel ashamed that i ever felt that i had it bad. i actually feel very fortunate that i'm able to train hard, both physically and financially (food is $$$!)

getting back to the original post- i frequently feel the way you described; trying to achieve your goals but sometimes something seems to derail your efforts. then you get flooded with emotions of anger, frustration, disappointment...and it only makes things worse. like you already stated, the best thing to do when you feel defeated is to go and absolutely bust your ass in the gym and you walk out feeling empowered- like nothing can stop you. this may sound sadistic, but when i get pent up with frustration, i go workout and do either deadlifts or squats, no other exercises, until i puke. for some reason, that makes me feel liberated and i know i just got done with a good workout

stay strong Red!

True Red
07-09-09, 1:45 pm
Wow BRP thanks. I am still going strong for now have time left till I go see the doc and he tells me the news. So I am going to keep going till the day of surgery.

Thanks for the advice. I love it here. I get alot of inspiration from all the fellow animals here and feel like I am not alone. I guess the stage where you just seem stuck is more common then I though. I know that this is all new to me and that if I look back at where I was when I started and where I am not I have accomplished alot and that should make me feel better. Some days it works and others not so much. I know that I didn't get the way I am over night and that taking it off and getting fit will not happen over night either but some days I just wish I could get passed this hump. The sad part is I have really good work outs when i am pissed off right before I get in the gym then it just all comes out. But who wants to be pissed off everty day. I think I am getting a little better still have some off days but working hard to stay focused on the goals at hand.

I guess not seeing any real results for the past month is making me frustrated and sometimes is makes me mad. but I look at myself everyday so little changes I don't see them but i guess they are still there.

thanks again for your adivce and support it really means alot.

GO HARD OR GO HOME!!!!!!

fenix237
07-10-09, 2:04 pm
Red, you got the right attitude- do not let ANYTHING stand in your way of achieving your goals- we all have our moments where we feel overwhelmed or feel defeated-maybe even go off track for a minute. the important thing to remember is not whether you fall off the horse, but whether you get up and get back on. keep up the good work!!! -brp

also- remember that progress is not linear- if you are losing weight or gaining muscle, it is not always a steady increase/decrease across the board. you may be going along just fine, then all of a sudden your progress comes to a halt and you don't understand why. don't abandon what was working, it's just a plateau that you need to work your way through. that's not to say you shouldn't make some tweaks here and there, but stay the course, stay strong!

True Red
07-14-09, 11:00 am
Well here is the latest up date. I saw the surgeon yesterday. He says the gallbladder has to go. He was not happy that the hospital sent me home in the condition that it was in. So after alot of fussing with him he put his foot down and says I have to have it taken out. I did however work in a compromise that I can go back to the gym and WALK on the treadmill a few days a week only 3 or 4 days after surgery as long as I feel up to it. I had to promise that I would only walk. I am not allowed to lift anything over 10 pounds for 4 weeks. He said that right now that I have hit my plateau is the best time for me to take some time off anyway. He said that once I am all healed up that my work out will be so much better and I will get more out of it when I go back.

So I am not happy that it has to go but I am glad that I don't have to be out of the gym completely for 4 weeks. The constant cardio will do me some good anyway (don't do enough of it). The doom day is July 30th yuk. but thanks again for all the support and I will be back and better than ever once this is over.

I will keep yall posted.

True Red
08-10-09, 1:50 pm
Well. Surgery is over thank god! made it through it. I see the doc today for him to give me the ok to go back to lifting soon i hope. I have been down about 2 weeks and not feeling all that great about it but the dic says no i guess he knows best. I have felt my stress and frustration level increase not being in the gym. Its weird how you don't think about all the ways that the gym and the life effect you. I mean yeah we know it takes time and commitment and a lack of tatsy meals and alot of hard work but the benefits you know other than looking the way you want. I don't think that i have realized how much nicer i am to people when i am working out compared to now. I am a real BITCH!!!! I can't even stand being around myself some days. I just want to get back and get going again. I didn't gain any weight being off actually I lost some but I feel the weakness too. I cant wait to go back and go hard. Anyway just though I would let yall know I am still alive and kicking and ready to get back in the gym and work it out.

fenix237
08-17-09, 2:31 pm
good to hear your surgery went fine- rest up, heal and be ready to light the fuse!

boondocker
08-17-09, 3:14 pm
welcome back, tell the doc it's time to get back to it. hopefully you are feeling better post op and now are twice as hungry to get back in the game. now with all of this time off i would guess you will make some hella gains so look out. now is the time to leave it all in gym . good luck.

True Red
08-18-09, 10:24 am
Hey all thanks again for the support. Doc said 2 more weeks. I have to wiat till the first of September before I can do anything more than walk on the treadmill. He said my insides stil have some healing left to do. I told him that I would listen this time but i was never having surgury again. My stress level is up a little since there is not way to release the beast at the moment. I am looking forward to the gains and the shock that my body is going to go through when I start back.

I have not lost all the muscles that I had worked so hard to achieve but I have lost enough to make me crave the iron once again. I can almost takste it. Being in the gym and only being able to walk is like dangling a steak infront of a dog that hasn't eaten in months. It is killing me. I want to feel the burn again. I want to feel the pain and the power in my hands and release the beast that is gronwing with in me. I think that when I finaly get to lift that I will no longer FEEL STUCK.

Thanks again to everyone for their support. I know that it has helped me deal with this set back and made me stronger at heart to keep on pushing through.

True Red
08-18-09, 10:36 am
Hey all thanks again for the support. Doc said 2 more weeks. I have to wiat till the first of September before I can do anything more than walk on the treadmill. He said my insides stil have some healing left to do. I told him that I would listen this time but i was never having surgury again. My stress level is up a little since there is not way to release the beast at the moment. I am looking forward to the gains and the shock that my body is going to go through when I start back.

I have not lost all the muscles that I had worked so hard to achieve but I have lost enough to make me crave the iron once again. I can almost takste it. Being in the gym and only being able to walk is like dangling a steak infront of a dog that hasn't eaten in months. It is killing me. I want to feel the burn again. I want to feel the pain and the power in my hands and release the beast that is gronwing with in me. I think that when I finaly get to lift that I will no longer FEEL STUCK.

Thanks again to everyone for their support. I know that it has helped me deal with this set back and made me stronger at heart to keep on pushing through.

True Red
09-09-09, 11:46 am
Hey animals, I am back in action and man does it feel great. I started back last week. It is a slow start getting back in and trying to pick up where I left off. I had to step down some on the weight but I feel like I am getting back up there. Man it feels so good!!!! thanks again for the support you all have shown. Live the dream feel the burn taste the iron!!!!!!

BryanSmash!
09-09-09, 11:55 am
Hey animals, I am back in action and man does it feel great. I started back last week. It is a slow start getting back in and trying to pick up where I left off. I had to step down some on the weight but I feel like I am getting back up there. Man it feels so good!!!! thanks again for the support you all have shown. Live the dream feel the burn taste the iron!!!!!!

Glad to see you're back in action. If you're still interested in competing in Figure, drop by Deanna's log here: http://forum.animalpak.com/showthread.php?t=16234
She's just a little ways out from her show right now, you should find a bunch of relevant information in there.

True Red
02-24-10, 1:45 pm
Hey all just an little update. I am back in action and I came back at 138. I am now at 126 and loving it. I haven't been that weight in over 10 years. WOHO look out. I am sore and tired beat but not yet broken. Holding strong and pushing on. Looking forward to the road that lies ahead of me. No one can stop me, No one can hold me back even though some have tried none have succeeded. I am me the power that drives me can only come from within.

I learned that I have to release the stress or the ones that cause me stress from my world and only surround myself with those who want only the best for me (that is they want what i want and support me). I have goals bigger than before and no one will stand in my way NO ONE!

At the end of the day for me this is it, this is the real deal no bullshit just leave it all there on the gym floor go home eat pass out and get up and do it again tomorrow.

Big Al
10-22-10, 11:04 pm
Hello????Anyone here??LOL