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Mr.Chaos
07-15-09, 5:11 am
"This old chevy is all I got man"

"What Chevy? you drive an Acura"

"My body man, my body"

"What? you are young, and what does a chevy have to do with you living in the gym? It is almost like you dont even know us anymore devil dog."

"Forget it, you wouldn't understand."



This old Chevy has been around the block once or twice gents. There is no trade in, there is no upgrade or new car to replace it. This what I was given. I was born with this thing, and I have got to admit it has been a hell of a ride.

Unlike some, I wasn't born to fit at all. One lung is a bit smaller than the other, Pleaumatic regurgitation, dyslexia, a deficit in dopemine, crooked shoulders and a number of other problems I was cursed with at birth. Maybe it was all the drugs my mom had in her system during her pregnancy and on the birthing table the night I was born. I dont know.

I realize that this body of mine, this chevy as I so proudly have dubbed it, is all I got. Reality is a motherfucker, it will hit you when you least expect it. One moment you are struggling to get that last leg press up and the next moment you are pushing like a bat out of hell and your mind is three thousand miles away, in a desert with the blood of your best friend all over your flack jacket. Dont know about you, but some shit is thicker than blood and water.

I promised myself that my girl would never have a man that was like the sperm doner that made me, and that my kids would never have to experience an orphanage, or foster home after foster home, or being chained by the neck behind the garage and used as a urinal by your foster parents random guests.

Coming from where I come from you get old quick. This chevy of mine has a busted up frame, my bones are old I got alot wear and tear from scrappin' son.

I stepped out on this highway of life with this beat up chevelle reaching out for something more. I became better than my parents, I became better than my "freinds". I had a vision, I saw myself coming out of the Chaos that was once me and I saw the reward of enduring what some are to say is best forgotten.

I know that this thing we call life is a big monster, but allow me to hit you with some knowledge, the weak are as such because they choose to be. The strong are such because they make themselves such and in the end we will all be judged by the stregnth of our moral fibers.

Dosn't matter where we come from. All that matters is that we are here, standing on the edge of insanity and tranquility in a chaotic world.

Move forward with intensity and tenacity, making each day the object of your desire, hold tight those who love you, and never back down from anything. I am right here with you.

One...

Mr.Chaos
07-17-09, 4:44 am
Walked into the gym today feeling good. Couldn't help but to feel right at home. I have spent almost two years now battling it out in the gym, I have see my ups and have encountered some downs.

The size and strength has come quickly at times. Ive thrown more weight up than I ever truely thought I could. Then there are those deep holes. I have fallen in them from time to time. I met weight that I wasnt man enough for. It came crashing down on my chest, crushing my pride.

I thought about that for a few seconds as I loaded the bar for my warm up." Today could very well be one of those days when I drop this bar" ran through my head. Fuck it. I got under the bar and Hammered through my warm up with a speed and intensity I havnt had in a few months.

Loaded up the big boy weight (My big boy weight 225/255) Took my time with this, Paid close attention to my form and moved the bar slowly and deliberately. Yeah today was going to be a good day.

Finally, a good day.

Truth be told, for every good day ive had there were 15 bad days. It is a reality I have become very comfortable with.

I dont understand why it is that we are so afraid of failure. It is a natural part of our lives. There is no man who has seen triumph and victory, wihtout meeting the bitter personality of failure.

I think Mr. 23, Michael Jordan, said it best. "For every success I have had, I have failed a thousand times." Funny thing is after every failure that crazy motherfucker was back on his feet dusting himself off and asking for more. Now that takes heart.

I too have seen this truth. I started out in the gym a flimsy 130lbs. I stand somewhere in between 187 and 190 right now ( depends on the day)... When I was at the bottom, this thing looked like the Hemalayas. I failed miserably, Hell I have been laughed out of a gym before. Completely laughed out of the gym.

I came back. I kept pushing and now it seems like Im on the bottom again. The House, wrote that every time we make it to the top we are sliding towards the bottom again. I feel that way right now.

When I was 130lbs I would do almost anything to be what I am right now. Now that I am here I would do almost anything to be 30 pounds heavier (lean of course). I know it is going to take time, I understand I am going to fail along the way. Fuck this is life. A struggle that is only overcome with time and a down right reckless habit of gettng back into the fight we just lost.

Im in the driver seat, this old Chevy is going for a long haul. There is going to be some traffic on the way. I got my engine started "Stand the fuck by, Im gonna floor it."

Firefist
07-17-09, 5:28 am
awesome. will keep reading.

violator
07-17-09, 7:23 am
I know that this thing we call life is a big monster, but allow me to hit you with some knowledge, the weak are as such because they choose to be. The strong are such because they make themselves such and in the end we will all be judged by the stregnth of our moral fibers.

Dosn't matter where we come from. All that matters is that we are here, standing on the edge of insanity and tranquility in a chaotic world.

Move forward with intensity and tenacity, making each day the object of your desire, hold tight those who love you, and never back down from anything. I am right here with you.

One...

Words to live by....keep that big block growling bro...

andrewT
07-17-09, 2:25 pm
great post

Dude do you actually own a chevelle? I am about too! I am Chevy FREAK!

Mr.Chaos
08-27-09, 1:49 pm
Finally a fucking break. Brothers, every single day I take this chevy to the gym. Every single day I fuel this big block with the finest of fuels and push its engine, tranny and chasis to the limits.

My goals in life are simple, do it untill you break it... Once its broken fix it and get back out on the highway. simple enough?

Ive learned that success comes slow. Certainly there are the times when the weight and strength come quickly, most of the time it takes alot of hardwork and tons of self motivation to turn this engine and send it hurtling down the road at neck breaking speeds.

I had a break through, just when I had thought I had done everything I could with this old junker I stepped on the scale and instead of watching the balance teeter at 189, it set in at 192. This is the first time in my life that I have ever broken 190.

Now to the asshole behind me in the locker room, he wasnt impressed, Well I know im not supposed to say it but "Fuck that guy".... Ive had to work for three months to get those two pounds. I sacrificed a life of fun and happiness and buried myself in an iron asylum. I damn near lost myself out there on that highway of life looking for those two pounds I just gained.

This is what it is all about. The big pay off. The moment in which a goal is reached and a new one is set. Now Im looking for 200 pounds flat (and im not talking about the cheeseburger and milkshake 200 pounds although that will be part of my diet as my metabolism is pushing 450 horses under 390 lbs of torque).

The joy in my little heart is so big that I was shaking when I stepped off the scale. I thought in the back of my mind (no bullshit) "This is fucking animal. Live it, breathe it, achieve it." at 5 foot 10 192 pounds im not the biggest guy, but I sure as hell am not the little guy on the totem pole either.

my sprints are faster (40 yrds 4.7 secs) my bench is up (reppin upwards of 265) my squats are finally coming around ( yes I found a way to squat even with shrapnel in my shoulder) and my stomach is starting to cut up .

That 2 pounds that the guy in the locker room was hating on, brought all of these things with it. Im proud right now. I guess its time to get my happy ass back in the gym. Just wanted to share my success with all my brothers on the same grind. get out there and live OORAH?

-One

BryanSmash!
08-28-09, 2:15 am
Great job on earning those two pounds!

sunny_max
08-28-09, 2:33 am
good job ...keep it up

Mr.Chaos
09-02-09, 7:25 pm
Let's just say your alone, and you are alone in a gym, and you are alone in a gym and your heart is racing, and you are alone in a gym and your heart is racing and you want more.

Let's just say you are an animal, and you are an animal with drive, and you are an animal with drive and clarity of vision.

Let's just say you are a focused fool of sorts. That your temperment is that of a tea kettle under the pressure of 500 degrees ferenheit. I know what this is all about i have been in this place before. Alone in a gym, heart pounding, muscles burning and still asking for more.

Let us remove the man from the gym, take away the pain in his tired muscles, take away his want for more. What do we have? A mad man, a determined and discipline specimen of humanity, the fucking cream of the crop.

Gents this shit right here is real. Its not a dogon joke. People around us will laugh, they will chalk up our willingness to endure the pain and stress to stupidity.

I spend so much time in the gym that I nearly forgot what it was like to walk through the grocery store on my own. My girlfreind is kind enough to do the shopping so that I can stay out of the light of day. I work nights, work out at night and untill today had simply forgotten that I am about two times the size of the average man.

I get the stares. The girls look at me because they like what they see and the other haters stare because they arnt sure what to make of me.

as i walked through the store I stopped at the meat section, picked up about 20 pounds of ground london broil,,, as I placed the satchel of wrapped meat in my basket a kid walked up, stood directly in front of me and looked me square in the eye.

"whatsup kiddo?"

"Sir are you a super hero or something? I didnt know they let you guys have tatoos."

Now I am not one to break a kids dreams so I played along.

"Yeah. but dont tell anyone ok? it's our secret and of course we can have tatoos they help us blend in with everyone else when we take on our secret identitys."

"What do they call you?"

"Mr. Chaos the dark knight of doom"

"Cool can I have your autograph?"

"Sure"

Yeah take the animal out of the gym and someone will think he is a super hero. Funny how that works. From one animal to another we dont think much of ourselves. We know that we are different. But that is about it. Put an animal out in the light of the world and the emotions of the general public are mixed.

Problem is gents we get so wrapped up in the struggle that we forget that we are super heroes to some degree. That we had a dream, we had a vision of what could be and we went after it. Strip away the gym, the hustle and the weight and you have a man who has spent his life in a worthy cause. A man who has sacrificed above all and found the great devotions of struggle so compelling that he nearly gave up everything to achieve what some were to say was impossible.

The world can take it all away from us gents. We could stand naked and cold in front of the masses alone on a pillar for all to make a spectacle of . however, were this act may break a man of meager ends we will always know that they can never take our clarity of vision and devotion. They can not break us mentally , they can not take our pride and dreams.

Today we live in a time where men have forgotten the way of steel and hardwork, we truely are the last of a dying breed. Atleast us few know. Maybe one day that kid will be one of us. Maybe one day he will be a super hero in someone elses eyes. I just hope that if this is the case that he remembers the time he too thought men were super heroes and that instead of breaking his dream that the man he confronted in the store let him hope a little longer. Hopefully he will give that gift to another.


stay animal , stay true...

-One

BryanSmash!
09-03-09, 3:25 am
That's pretty cool. You'll have to start wearing a cape pretty soon lol!

williams_888
09-03-09, 3:03 pm
great read bro. keep that chevy rollin

Mr.Chaos
09-08-09, 5:54 pm
This place we live in is run by whores and politicians. The power of the back alley's has depleted and large scale multi billion dollar organizations have taken hold of nearly every aspect of life.

Every time I buy a fitness magazine it is plagued with some new porduct or brand that I "must have" in order to stay with the times. Fuck. they have even intruded upon the humble gyms we call home.

Take a gander at this. I went to the usual spot to get a good leg session in, you know the spot, the one with beat up equiptment, pictures of olympiads on the walls and the fresh scent of must in the air. Every single guy in the damn place was wearing one shirt or another (body builder this, or go hard that). I just wear plain tees with holes in it and a pair of shorts, got some fresh kicks on to keep it nifty but other than that im not hear to win a fucking fashion contest.

I dont know about competitive body building, I also dont know much about lifting for the sake of being in shape nor do I know much about lifting to look good for the ladies, I lift because I found love in it. I lift because it resembled life as it should be. Hardwork with few rewards. Everytime you think you have made it to the top you are in a full slide back down to the bottom. The big question is does that shirt you just spent forty dollars on help you put on more size or lift more weight? Goodness knows it wouldnt help me do anything other than look like a damn clown.

Gents we are men. This is our calling, this is simply what we do. Do we really need to complicate the game with buying into the industrial beast? Animal kept it true. They are from the sport for the sport. Nine out of ten of the rest of these companies are geeks pushing false promises in some "miracle drug" that dosnt work.

This is the last sanctuary we have and still it is polluted with everything a man in our positions should despise. Comfort and luxury are not things we can afford to have in the gym. They are merely enemies to anyone on the grind.

I know one thing though. I refuse to whore myself out to the industry. I dont care how many times some photographer tells me I can be an athletic model or how many times they ask me to pose in an add. Its all about being a damn animal. Putting the steel to the test and pushing myself to heights never imagined.


untill next time,,, Carry on!