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violator
09-23-09, 9:50 am
Vasbyt – An Afrikaans word, essentially the English translation of this word is, “to bite down and hold on.”, I like to think of it as another word, greater than its mere literal meaning…greater than any explanation or definition can provide… to me, it encompasses a variety of core values in my life, discipline, determination, perseverance and persistence…these are values I strive for everyday… as soon as the African sun brings its warm embrace to me… and opens the path to another day…..

I’ll never forget the day I heard it used for the first time, id just finished a 4 month long trial by fire of my product with a customer, and as he saw the results presented in front of him he said, ”Jason, jy het vasbyt, en jy is reg.”…roughly translated, “Jason, you persevered and the results were as you said they would be.”
Throughout my life I have made clear, vivid memories of past moments…some of them good, some bad, some unexpected…but recalling them is like Im back in that same place experiencing everything for the first time….
In this instance the words have made such a cataclysmic impact on my life, every time I feel things slipping from my grasp, when despair & fear raise their heads & doubt slowly creeps in to my sub conscious when it feels like the world & everyone is against me…I fall on those words, I LIVE those words… & feel my jaw grind, my senses heighten, my eyes blaze with an internal fury burning so hot, it feels its gonna melt my skull… my skin sets alight with tingling passion once again… & I realise….hold on, grab that motherfucka like a pitbull & hold on…till im forcibly removed, kicking and screaming… and even then, ill take a chunk of it with me…that’s how ive made it through the darkness that’s plagued my life, more than once…its how I claim my part of humanity and say, fuck you, to the doubters and haters…ill keep holding on, no matter the cost, no matter how tough it seems…or how desperate the situation is…ive committed…& im not letting go….

This one word plays another role in my life, my iron life… Somehow even though ive managed to gain knowledge, apply it in practise & progress nicely over the last 10yrs or so of lifting….ive just not been able to cross that borderline to 100% consistency with it…whether it be from being sidelined by a knee injury for near 2 years… contracting malaria from African exploits over the border… or more recently, being so fucked up financially & emotionally from my business and personal life… I just cant keep it together…but as I realise, even while typing these words, that I CAN DO IT…I have what it takes, mentally & physically…to keep persisting to achieve my dreams…in the gym & in life…nothing can hold me back, only myself… & this time… more than ever before…. im biting down hard….

Firefist
09-23-09, 10:18 am
solid post bro.

violator
09-23-09, 10:38 am
solid post bro.

thanks man...

violator
09-24-09, 5:52 am
“Permit me to introduce myself…. For those that don’t know me, im the violator...not the vindicator, not the vaporiser, not the vandaliser!…THE VIOLATOR!” – the violator, issue#2


Haha…ive always thought of myself as leading 2 different lives, kind of a multiple persona…and no where is this more prevalent than in my toil of iron warfare…
Most of the time I spend in the week I feel sorta like this…

the clown (http://www.geocities.com/soho/square/6125/clown.jpg )

A flabby, unrewarded, disregarded being…forgotten by the ignorant masses of humanity, I lurk in the fallen shadows of society, haunted by visions of mediocrity, that consume our individuality…However, I feel a essense of becoming, a feeling of the need to achieve and transform myself to a freak, a living violation… of what is considered normal…well, fuck normal… fuck complacency…I prefer to smash that motherfucka to the ground… and stand atop, screaming at wind…ive never been one to follow…I prefer the view from the front…fuck going with the flow…I cut my own winding river of pain & pleasure….

The clown has his meagre place in my life…distracting the masses from the demon that dwells within…his harsh…crackling voice, never-ending in his persecution of my common adage…constantly howling, forever seething…causing confliction and duress…the animal within, forcing me to ask the questions that lay adrift in the back of my twisted unconscious….
But this common life, this feeling of inadequacy… is thrown out of the window, torn to a million shreds and left to rot on the floor like a piece of discarded meat, no longer able to satisfy my ravenous hunger …
All upon the moment…that moment of shear, pure clarity, I cast aside the illusion… Stepping across the threshold of the weightdeck…I feel the transformation coming…almost nauseating…as the rush of adrenalin sears and pulses through me… screams of the malebolgia himself blare between my ears…connecting my fury, anger & rage into a torrent of physical desire…this is my house…the 8th level of hell…where the tortured souls come, in vain, to follow the bidding of their masters… I feel no allegiance, no fear, no qualm… as I start the masochistic destruction of my former being…
I feel the beast within start to stir as my body warms under the stress and intensity of the iron, heavy in my sweated hands…. my contrivance to greatness, my mutation of self…my thoughts become hazy, then white hot, with sharpened focus… as the feeling of metamorphosis overcomes my conscious being…the skin melts from my bones, the blood pours and re-engineers itself… replaced by the by-products of insanity…I feel the quickening, the change taking place…& im gonna chase that feeling, I lust for it, its my fantasy…& ill chase it till I cant walk, cant think….& im bringing hell along with me for the ride…I wont stop, surrender or forfeit, ill vasbyt…until I become the savage, screaming demon that awaits for me, ever present…. this is my destiny….

the violator (http://spawn.home.sapo.pt/Images/Movie_Violator_1.jpg )

r-ace-f
09-28-09, 6:46 am
Vasbyt – An Afrikaans word, essentially the English translation of this word is, “to bite down and hold on.”, I like to think of it as another word, greater than its mere literal meaning…greater than any explanation or definition can provide… to me, it encompasses a variety of core values in my life, discipline, determination, perseverance and persistence…these are values I strive for everyday… as soon as the African sun brings its warm embrace to me… and opens the path to another day…..

I’ll never forget the day I heard it used for the first time, id just finished a 4 month long trial by fire of my product with a customer, and as he saw the results presented in front of him he said, ”Jason, jy het vasbyt, en jy is reg.”…roughly translated, “Jason, you persevered and the results were as you said they would be.”
Throughout my life I have made clear, vivid memories of past moments…some of them good, some bad, some unexpected…but recalling them is like Im back in that same place experiencing everything for the first time….
In this instance the words have made such a cataclysmic impact on my life, every time I feel things slipping from my grasp, when despair & fear raise their heads & doubt slowly creeps in to my sub conscious when it feels like the world & everyone is against me…I fall on those words, I LIVE those words… & feel my jaw grind, my senses heighten, my eyes blaze with an internal fury burning so hot, it feels its gonna melt my skull… my skin sets alight with tingling passion once again… & I realise….hold on, grab that motherfucka like a pitbull & hold on…till im forcibly removed, kicking and screaming… and even then, ill take a chunk of it with me…that’s how ive made it through the darkness that’s plagued my life, more than once…its how I claim my part of humanity and say, fuck you, to the doubters and haters…ill keep holding on, no matter the cost, no matter how tough it seems…or how desperate the situation is…ive committed…& im not letting go….

This one word plays another role in my life, my iron life… Somehow even though ive managed to gain knowledge, apply it in practise & progress nicely over the last 10yrs or so of lifting….ive just not been able to cross that borderline to 100% consistency with it…whether it be from being sidelined by a knee injury for near 2 years… contracting malaria from African exploits over the border… or more recently, being so fucked up financially & emotionally from my business and personal life… I just cant keep it together…but as I realise, even while typing these words, that I CAN DO IT…I have what it takes, mentally & physically…to keep persisting to achieve my dreams…in the gym & in life…nothing can hold me back, only myself… & this time… more than ever before…. im biting down hard….

goeie post - sterkte met alles en soos jy se, byt vas!!

violator
09-28-09, 7:52 am
goeie post - sterkte met alles en soos jy se, byt vas!!

Dankie man....

violator
09-28-09, 10:07 am
The written word….how supremely powerful it can be…
Ever since I was a youngster I developed a keen interest in reading…I remember my father reading me bedtime stories when we still lived in England…tucked in bed, always waiting to hear the adventures of characters as their exploits filled my imagination….

As I developed, physically and emotionally, I always kept a keen interest in books…I enjoyed devouring page after page at frenetic pace, bringing the books back to the librarian & seeing that look of disbelief on her face as she asked me, “have you read all of these already?” ….haha…that’s another clear memory that stands out….

Now, ive never been much of an academic…frankly, reading textbooks is an easy way for me too pass out if Im suffering from insomnia….but ive always admired people who can put LIFE into words and have them resonate deeply within me…bringing that rush of understanding as my paradigm shifts and absorbs the new information presented to me…

Authors of many titles, somehow drawing me to them, beckoning a calling to me to read them, to choose them from the countless others that offer their wisdom to me…. But not only fine authors, but the authors that founded the Animal spirit of this site….back when there used to be an article every Friday on the main page…man, I remember those articles…those power laden, thought provoking, sources of inspiration that would make the nerve endings in my brain burn with a new fire…how I used to lust for a Friday to uncover the new piece from Bulldog, or the author of the day….how it used to fuel me in all my lifts in the week ahead, until the next Friday rolled around and the fire was refuelled as the phoenix died and was reborn again…..
I remember reading “the money mentality” by G Diesel, man, what a piece, or “you might surprise yourself” , by machine… & these words, dripping with intensity…soaking into my conscious & sub conscious mind….opening doors I never knew existed & throwing my predispositions aside ….exposing another side of the iron…the animal life, the life of the mis-understood outsider, the ‘underdog’…. And most importantly, instilling the building blocks of dedication, determination & persistence in my character…re-enforcing my thoughts, merely by throwing together a few simple words, which, by themselves mean very little…but together, create a collective meaning of power….im forever grateful to this site and the animals that write for it…without you, there would be no violator….and perhaps in a way, no Jason…or at least a less determined version…..


http://www.animalpak.com/html/article_details.cfm?section=livin&ID=141
“the money mentality”

http://www.animalpak.com/html/article_details.cfm?section=livin&ID=231
“you might surprise yourself”


I leave this for now, with possibly some of the most powerful words I have ever read…these words resonated so deeply within me when I read them this last weekend…so much so I was brought to tears when I realised their relevance in my life;


I will persist until I succeed.

I was not delivered into this world into defeat, nor does failure course in my veins. I am not a sheep waiting to be prodded by my shepherd. I am a lion and I refuse to talk, to walk, to sleep with the sheep.

The slaughterhouse of failure is not my destiny.

I will persist until I succeed.

(From the ancient scroll marked III) – The greatest salesman in the world – Og Mandino

violator
10-01-09, 9:59 am
The spoken word….the power that has been given to us to communicate, refined through the ages to evolve our society…
Communication is key to unlocking our emotional state… when words pass a persons lips, what is their intention?...to encourage, to spite, to gain understanding?

Words can cut deep into me, like a 30” katana …either weilding a fire of inspiration…or sending messages of despair through my thoughts…

Ive found so much insight and inspiration through music… from the growls of angry hardcore metal or punk rock…to the slow flow of hip hop… music has been my crutch throughout life, hearing a verse.. or rhyme that sends shivers down my spine, causing my skin to goose up… pulling my focus to an area of my life that needs insight or direction…
Ive always used music as a method of expressing who I am…
In high school, while all the other cats were just getting into the scene of house music & chowing drugs on weekends, in order to “feel’ the music… Me &my crew were making missions to underground clubs in the city, pogoing & moshing to old skool punk rock, with cats, real hardcore punks, guys who had tattoos on their heads, lining they’re shoe-glued mohawks & worked construction gigs because no-one would hire them for fear that they were as hard as they looked… winding down the evenings with them, talking about socialism & anarchy and the poison of the corporate system…the fact that they were spewing there conspiracy to 16-17yr olds never bothered them, they saw us as the next revolution, the youth of tomorrow that could spread the word to the world around us….

Ahhh….good times….so many clear, vivid memories….and so many good bands…black flag, minor threat, the dead kennedys, sick of it all….infecting my thoughts with one common thread…. Question society & its motives, question everything ive been taught… work against the grain of the masses…

I remember the first time I heard hip hop, I mean real hip hop, not that trash by J-Z or 50cent, but the cold flow of real verse, by the teacher, KRS-ONE…real lyrics that didn’t need cuss words to emphasize its meaning, or the need to talk about gangsterisim or drugs…
Cats like Binary starr, Defari, Afu-Ra or dialated peoples…man…now that’s the real hip hop!
Theres just something about real, smooth lyrics that makes my mind stop & think…I cant explain it in words…it just connects to who I am & where im headed in life….

In the gym, im “plugged in” most of the time…I have the displeasure of training in a “health club”…where the musical order of the day is the latest radio trash by whoever the fuck is popular at the moment…or gay ass house music that has long since lost its charted lustre…so I keep my phones in…and focus on the growl or the flow…shit..half the time peeps I know come up to say word… & I don’t even see them until they’re right in front of me, or tapping me on the shoulder… focused, dialled in…like a freight train…getting the work done & the noise between my ears helps me push thru it with that little bit of extra momentum…unstoppable….undisputable…the music bringing the Violator to the surface to exterminate my pre-dispositions of what I can and cannot accomplish…words…spoken with such vigour, power and strength that they help me hit that PR…that help me get through that last dreaded 5minutes of cardio…I wouldn’t be the animal I am without them….

This is who I am…

“I never tire, spirit live like a wire, I came to let you know fantasies burn like desires.” – Afu-Ra

“This fire building, burning, deep inside of me. Focus, driven, certain. Of the way its meant to be.” – Mudvayne

“all hell, cant stop us now.” – Rage against the machine

osiris
10-07-09, 5:21 am
These are some awesome post bra, glad I checked in and did'nt take my daily fix of Big Brother ( fuck, I think I'm hooked on that show)

peace,
Osiris

violator
10-07-09, 9:20 am
These are some awesome post bra, glad I checked in and did'nt take my daily fix of Big Brother ( fuck, I think I'm hooked on that show)

peace,
Osiris

thanks bru...big brother?!...r u kidding me?....read a book man...haha

violator
10-07-09, 9:21 am
Why is it that everything in life that’s worth achieving, comes with so many challenges?
Why is it that being complacent or giving up is so easy?
Eat that candy bar, or drink that cola…it tastes so good….better than a bowl of oatmeal or a gallon of water ever could….
Go out with friends and have that beer…it helps me fit in…feel at ease & open with my social group….why abstain from it for the sake of health? Or the goals for my physique? ...heck, you only live once right?

It seems that all the easy choices provide immediate gratification…and anything worth doing right, takes so much commitment & effort to adhere to…
Why is this?...it feels like a sick joke!...like someones continually testing me… lying to me….leading me astray….”born into a world of sin”, man…that’s the understatement of a lifetime…

So whats the solution?...whats the point?...why not give up and be complacent?.... Challenges FEEL so difficult to overcome…so hard to adhere to….why cant eating that bowl of ice cream at 9pm at night FEEL as rewarding as choking down 2 cups of cottage cheese?.... is someone fucking with me?
Why is it so easy to sit back and be complacent with business and life…to not worry about the next work out, or chasing the next sale….why does it FEEL so good to just chill & do nothing?...but so challenging to get off my ass & make 50 cold calls in the morning?....Why?

Because, to me, life is about growing….physically & mentally… everytime I rise to the challenge & accept its disarray…. Everytime I analyse problems and look for solutions, im growing… sure, drinking that gallon of water may not be as exciting as downing a can of soda…but everytime I do it, I re-enforce the behaviour, re-enforce the belief in me that what im doing is right…..everytime I make that cold call I continue to establish a pattern…to growth, to greatness….being challenged provides the means to rise above my current paradigm, to look at different possibilities… While being complacent only satisfies my immediate needs.
A life that remains unchallenged, never matures… never seeks understanding & is ultimately wasted in mediocrity….i don’t want that life…. I want growth, I want challenges…bring them on… the harder the better… maybe life likes to beat me with a big stick… fuck that, im gonna rip that stick from its grip & give it the thrashing of a life time...

Rage against the system, against the guidelines of normality and the idle souls wandering this earth with no intention, or understanding of the unlimited possibilities life has to offer…question all that is a ‘quick fix’ for it can only lead to a life filled with wonderment at what could have been…take back the reigns and ride above the masses who will look aloft and gaze in amazement and say, “that could’ve been me”… time is running out, everyday of complacency breeds more thoughts of regression… this is my life , I choose to face the flames of challenges, to question the motives of others and rise above it all….what will you do?

violator
10-10-09, 12:11 pm
if theres one day i live for...its leg day...
nothing beats it...
walking up the winding staircase... onto the weightdeck i look across the room and see it...the squat rack...lurking in the far corner....i can almost here it calling my name...
beckoning me over to it....
As i get started with the warmup & plug in my phones...ready to get the blood boiling... for the next ten minutes...as i hear the music in my ears pump me up & my heart rate starts to gain momentum...i find my gaze once again shifting to the corner afar... how will things fare today i wonder?... already i quiver at delight at the thought of finishing my widowmaker... she leaving me spent...destroyed...with nothing left to give... stars spinning in my eyes as i struggle to control the thumping in my chest & catch my breath...
I finish up on the elliptical and my senses electrify as i stride to the corner...MY CORNER... MY SQUAT RACK.... welcome home Violator... i begin to stretch...Korn screaming in my ears...its time...oh yes its time again...

Alas, today is a deload...sometimes you gotta back off in order to progress...
no widowmaker, no heavy weight borne on my back today... it almost feels wrong...halfassed...but i know...the iron, itll be waiting for me next week...ever present... never defeated...
& next time...ohhh next time....

As i finish my second set of front squat...i assess myself...the good thing about lightening the load is, its a chance to analyse ones form...to correct the things that are harder to recognise when all I can think about is the weight crushing down on me in a max effort cycle...
onto the back squat...shifting the load to the rear...
ive found from concentrating on explosiveness over the last 6 months, that ive lost power in the hole ATG..."its time to fix that", i think to myself as i descend slowly on the first rep...
nice...feeling good...as i power out of ATG position thrusting the hips forward...100kg feels lighter than ever..."the violators comin home"...

Half way thru the descent on the second rep, i feel my pants tighten around my hips...my glutes swell & RRRRIPPPPPP....haha...my pants have just torn....blind... haha, i laugh as i sit there in the hole..100kg on my back & i feel rushes of embarrassment, humility and humor all in a fraction of as second...thrusting up i finish the movement and stand at the top... "oh well", i think...no time to stop now, racking isnt an option...i descend into the second rep....
RRRRIPPPPP.....haha...tear that motherfucka up!...third rep...RRRRIIIPPPP....and another..
RIIIPPPP....holy shit... i hope these things stay on my hips for the last one!!.... descend & one more time....RRRIIPPPPP.... thats it...over...
I rack it & I burst into laughter so loud i hear it over my earphones... i turn & see some Indian cat stare at me & then laugh.... glad i could make someone smile today...haha...
I look at the now rags clinging to my waist for dear life...damn...ive had these shorts..old cut-off denims, for damn near 15 years now... ive used them, cause they old faithfull, tough & tested, over hundreds of leg workouts over the years...its like ive just lost an old friend...

but no time for pity, or mercy...lets give them a good send off...ive still got work to do...
unmindful of my unclothed ass, with my boxers on display to the gym behind me, i pound out two more sets...finished...
not spent like after my usual friday afternoon routine, ready to fall over from exhaustion, rather a mental satisfaction as i realise...hey, progress was made... & i now have a better insight on my weaknesses... i know the work to be done in the future...particularly my core and ATG drive...

I leave the building, and get into my ride...grab my PWO shake and mix it up, i think to myself...here i am... im in the midst of the preppy northern suburbs, at a classy, upmarket health club, were all the soccer moms and jocks are training in the latest gear by nike, addidas...or whatever the fuck is cool at the moment...
...& here i am in old jeans and my FUCT tshirt with holes in it...
"whats wrong with me?"...haha...i laugh in my head...reach up to remove my ANIMAL lanyard with my gym tag attached to it, i stare at the gym logo & then at the "ANIMAL 25 YEARS" on it, as i toss it into the cubby till its used next time.....
i start the car and leave...i laugh out loud...who needs labels?...im here for the iron..not a fucking fashion show...fuck em if i offend em....ill miss those shorts more than ill miss their faces...haha...
ahhhh...friday evening in sun blessed Jozi.... good times...

Firefist
10-10-09, 12:28 pm
way to finish that shit man! i got pants like that too. i wear em all the time.

i like this thread, keep it up!

violator
10-12-09, 3:44 am
way to finish that shit man! i got pants like that too. i wear em all the time.

i like this thread, keep it up!

haha...yeah, had to get it done...i had visions of machine standing behind me saying,"if u rack that weight now, im gonna KILL you!"...haha

Shot 4 comin along 4 the ride!

peace

sunny_max
10-13-09, 9:29 am
good words here brother.....i like it.....

violator
10-14-09, 3:04 am
good words here brother.....i like it.....

Yo Sunny!...thanks man!

violator
10-15-09, 4:45 pm
Those days…man…those days…those days where I just feel invincible, indestructible…
Today…was one of those days…
I awake from the land of the dead, with no need for the bark of my alarm…just “Bing!” and the lights are on, fully refreshed...
i have but one thought on my mind as I rise…todays the start of my first real training cycle since April….man…since fuckin April…time waits for no man…

The last 6 weeks, …getting back in the groove…and assessing my weakness…a touch up here, an addition there…keeping the meals and hydration levels in check & it feels, really feels like things are starting to click again…. & gain momentum.
It’s an interesting & exciting phenomenon, momentum… gotta keep it rolling, keep acknowledging it and feeding it with desire building it up in my mind…adding to the feeling of invincibility in this moment… .sure, today aint gonna change me, it aint gonna magically add 20lbs to my frame…but it’s the start, the jump off…I just gotta keep it consistent, hold my shit together and the results will come, progress will be made and goals will be achieved…I know this...but I feed off it NOW, right now, and it fills me with passion and intensity…
Intensity.
Now that’s another word that holds a lot of power…the phonetic sound of the word as its spoken generates…well, intensity, all around me, it feels like it radiates from me with its own vibration, and it has the power to gain momentum,
HUGE momentum….I was thinking this in-between very short rest breaks as I ploughed thru my base Max Effort workout…intensity, so addictive, so inviting, my mind and body working together to reach its maximum effect…
Moving from set to set with methodical purpose, from exercise to exercise with my heart beating so loudly in my chest, I can hear its screams above the ones in my earphones….its like no one else is there, I stand alone…operating with shear efficiency, like im on a different frequency of energy…the rat race doesn’t even notice me as I whirlwind around them….force, exertion…& then im gone...the intensity abates…
“24 minutes?” I think to myself, … it feels like I lost time, like the world swallowed me up when I wasn’t looking, & an eternity passed, I got lost and didnt even realise it ….lost in intensity…& I loved every extended second of it……

sunny_max
10-17-09, 12:29 am
fuck yeah man.....intensity is all that matters....true.......i knwo i have those days when you wake up all refreshed and your looking for that workout, to go and crush those weights...i love those days man......but winter is comign up man...theres gonna be a few of those.....most are gonan be lazy!!!.....but no you have to go and hit those weights with all intensity and full on power why cause otherwise you gonna see a fat fuck in the mirror and i dnt want that.........i like the genuinity in your words man.....true and straight from the heart...keep it up brother....

violator
10-22-09, 5:50 am
The undeniable thirst for knowledge…never ending, ever present…
the trials and tribulations of the schoolyard may have finished over 12 years ago for me, but ive never stopped learning…and along the way ive sought advice, advice from mentors who’ve enabled me to break old paradigms, open my mind to new possibilities & seek new ideas...
that being said, ive had to be careful who ive accepted advice from…
more often than not ive followed advice blindly, it took me a long time to realise that talk is cheap, sometimes really cheap…and sometimes the best laid intentions can result in disaster…
over the years ive developed a bullshit detector and hardwired it into my mind…whenever I find myself listening to someone who begins too offer advice, I automatically start asking myself these few questions;
Who is this person to me?
Do I trust them?
Do they live to the principles they are explaining?
What are their credentials?
And most importantly, are they talking to me like im an equal?, or do they look down upon me as a person who they feel is inferior & make me feel derogatory?
As they dispel their words of wisdom to me I wait for my mind to begin its feedback… what am I feeling as they are talking to me? what does their body language indicate?
Theres a big difference to someone whos trying to explain a point and have me genuinely understand it, than someone whos merely just blurting it out & expecting me to accept it as gospel…
Im blessed with a mind like a sponge, it just soaks up anything that it finds interesting... and this can be very dangerous in the case of poor advice…poor advice, weak advice, can cost me time, money, effort, frustration & even injury pursuing it…but good advice, those golden drops of wisdom can open new doors, challenge paradigms, provide insight and offer improvement in every area of my life…
Sources are a dime a dozen, almost everyones an expert on something in life…but more often than not people seem to give out advice based on their own perceptions and perspective…but how was this formed in their mind?, was it true tried & tested experience?...or was it just some shit they read off the new mens health, or entrepreneur magazine, quoted by some supposed Phd in another land I haven’t even visited?

But in retrospective…how much advice have I given in my life?
How many times have I found myself in the same position as the very one ive described above?...how many pearls have I administered?, and how many bullshit detectors have my words set off in the past? I aint hardcore, I aint shit…I don’t have a 400 bench, or a 600 squat…so why do I feel that im qualified to dispense information to others?
Why do I think my words, opinions and ideas matter?...more importantly, why do I think they matter to others?...dont get me wrong, id never dispense advice to anyone with the intention of doing harm, but how can I be certain of that person achieving the same success I did with it? Everyones different, with a whole set of beliefs and perceptions that create their reality, & am I really qualified to be telling them what I think they should be doing with their life?….somehow I doubt it…

violator
10-27-09, 9:25 am
The tipping point…man, its snuck up on me and clapped me on the back of the head…
that moment in time when everything beyond is part of the unknown, where all that lies ahead is imagined destiny, fuelled by desire running deep within…
Yesterday morning I weighed in at 95kg, with half decent body composition…the return to where I was more than 6 months ago…and it feels good, like im back on track, back in the game…BACK IN CONTROL OF MY LIFE…
Things have never been better…from here on out, only I can decide the future, only I can claim the physique I continue to visualise…theres still a very long road ahead, but for the first time in what seems like forever, im prepared, prepared for the challenges presented to me…
I know that thery will come, more often than not, disguised as opportunities for growth…both physical and mental…but im grateful for the setbacks, everyone of them seems to have been orchestrated to allow for me to learn, to improve and launch an internal inquisition of my own goals, thoughts and ambitions…and every time, when I rise above it and overcome, I gain a vision of clarity and understanding in my life that paints a new perception of my reality…motivation seeps from every pore, and my determination strengthens to steel…this is my tipping point…
All my experience of life has led me back to this moment, right now… this stage where I have the ability to create anything I desire with it….the future awaits…do I dare to dream?

violator
11-04-09, 8:55 am
My time with the iron is sacred to me…. For those few minutes of the day, I feel in touch and in tune with myself & I just let go of everything in my life and focus on the immediate work to be done…no time for fuckin around or resting, shit, this has gotta count…in & out…

Over the years ive had a couple of training partners, very few have managed to keep up a regular appearance, I know im not a model of consistency myself, but the difference is, that when im on, im on…I rarely miss a workout, & I get upset with myself if I do…I mean, it’s a lost chance at becoming…progress will be slowed, time will be lost… there are times that require a miss…but these are few and far between, reserved only for sickness or injury…where not resting would be detrimental to my health…
But for the few people ive let into the realm of the animal…into MY time with my metallic mistress, nobodys really lived up there end of the bargain, the dreaded slip off eventually comes to reality…the reason being, most cats just don’t really want it that bad, its just not that important in their life... none of them could ever see past the aesthetic reasons of training, “to look good for the next beach party”, or to cut some fat off the gut”…its just not where their hearts are at…& to be honest, theres nothing wrong with that… but its not who I am… & in the end its like trying to get a cat to befriend a dog, its rarely gonna happen, most of the time, that Pitty will chow that Siamese…. So time passes & the inevitable always happens, one miss turns into 2, into 3…and then theyre gone, never to return…

Then theres this kid I know, ten years my junior…who busts his ass everytime im in the weightroom with him, shit…it’s a privilege to workout with this guy I cant even compare my performance to the workouts he endures… which is probably the reason why we only get together to beat our wheels to death… this kid has so much drive & focus, never turns down the opportunity of a workout, always on time, in fact, more often than I am…& never quits on a set. Heck, most of the time I feel like im the one holding him back… support in our game is hard to find, but I know on squat day, when I need that extra inspiration to move that last set…its there, everytime, no questions asked…guaranteed…the animal spirit lives in very few iron warriors, and im glad I get the occasional opportunity to train with this one… check his log below…

http://forum.animalpak.com/showthread.php?t=24663

violator
11-09-09, 6:02 am
"when life hands you lemons...paint that shit gold." - Atmosphere

violator
11-11-09, 8:01 am
Driven…chasing the goal, the dream…sometimes its all that occupies my thoughts, visualising that physique im chasing…and then I come crashing down to reality as I stare into my puny reflection in the mirror…reminding me of the work that still needs to be done, the countless hours that need to be filled, pressing, pulling and squatting…
my ultimate goal seems so far away…but time will pass…as it always does…months will come and go, days are like dust, blowing in and out of my life…
Do I have what it takes to remain on course?... to steer the ship through all the storms and bad weather ahead?...somehow, the feeling of accomplishment to come, pushes me through another rep, another set, another day…
But what of the day that I finally can stand atop of my mountain and say, “im here, ive made it.”…will that moment ever come?
Ive noticed patterns weaving in and out of my life, patterns of behaviour…it amazes me how easy it is to settle into a rhythm, to keep doing the same tasks again and again…repeated behaviour breeds habit within me…good or bad, keep repeating it and it will become part of me…
What do I endeavour to repeat?
What patterns are consistently recurring?...those that would be the destroyers of my being, laziness, sloth, cynicism…must be cast aside…. And strength, honour and discipline must be instilled in my mind….sure, that’s easier said than done…but as each day passes, the behaviour is re-enforced, the pattern repeated and the cycle established…
I will grow stronger, I will achieve all I want in life…this is a maxim to LIVE & never forget…
I feel it growing stronger inside of me everyday, pushing out the doubt, the worry, the stress…none of it matters, its not even really there…all that will remain is my own will to succeed in life, at all I choose…on my own terms…at he end of the day, I have only myself to blame, should I fail to achieve…
Today I repeat my intentions, bask in acknowledgment of my actions, re-enforce my will…and move forward to tomorrow….

violator
11-13-09, 7:08 am
"I am a mechanism set in motion to fuck up the system and shake the pillars that hold this shitpile up." - MACHINE

man, words to live by....

check the article: http://www.animalpak.com/html/article_details.cfm?ID=450

violator
11-18-09, 10:17 am
Whats with the need for people to correct one another?
Just because something works for you, you feel the need to tell me this, and dispute what I do…
As if your word is law, and my experience isn’t worth shit..
Sure, if im doing something that’s life threatening, and you have genuine concern for my well-being, then instruct away, bring to my attention my mis-informed methods…and ill greet it with a clear mind and an attitude of interest…
But if what im doing is merely challenging your beliefs, turning upside down YOUR reality, your pre-loaded misconceptions that are set in stone…then step the fuck back…I don’t wanna hear it…
“You eat eggs everyday?, don’t you know that’s bad for your cholesterol?, you should only eat them once a week. That’s what my doctor told me.”
Fine, that’s what ur doctor told you huh?...then go ahead & do it, while your at it, open another beer and light that 30th cigarette…I’ll stick with my eggs, thank you very much, take your opinion and choke on it…
Its strange to me how people need to express their disdain with one anothers actions or habits… how they deem it necessary to impart their own paradigm upon me, without considering my perspective…Why?
Ego, that’s why… everytime we condescend or feel like were dispelling information that’s valuable, it makes us feel superior…it gives us a glow inside, to be able to stand atop our ideas and convictions and revel in them as truth… the sad truth is, all we appear as… is an ignorant fool…
So leave me alone, I don’t want to hear your theories… I don’t have interest in your ideas…
Unless you have genuine empathy for me, take your ‘knowledge’..and fuck off…
Im not going to apologise for my actions, everyone of them…good or bad…has helped shape my experience in this world…theres nothing like learning the hard way…I guess im just one of those kids that needed to touch the hot stove... I can take getting burnt…blisters build character..

violator
12-03-09, 7:19 am
I feel...ive reached a point of no return...
IVE BEEN LIED TO...WEVE ALL BEEN LIED TO....my brothers and sisters...
deception crept into my life...was welcomed and invited...
polluted my thoughts...corrupted my soul...& with a friendly smile its beautiful voice hypnotized me...
It led me astray, blinded my vision & focus....
I FELL FOR THE PLAN..the plot...laid out since before my existence was created....
& like those before me, it enslaved my mind, and in turn my very being...
It numbed my senses...my feelings, my compassion, my connection with my fellow brethren...
I became part of the system i so sorely dispise...all the time unaware of its infiltration...
passively indoctrinated, silently anointed...into a nation of slaves to your will...
I had no idea...
My values were twisted...contorted & rearranged...

But now i am aware of it, of your hidden plan, your sickened agenda..
no more, will i follow like a sheep..
I am enlightened....illuminated...like you..
no more will I allow you to control me, i am a puppet no longer... i am the warrior, the guardian, the truthsayer you fear...and I will help to lead the army against you, against your plan...
this day, I cast aside your influence, break the bonds you have bestowed on me...
and embrace my life, my family, my friends & humanity....

To Him i now call...i ask for guidance....
Hear my cry and grant me strength, knowledge, wisdom, understanding and peace...
Let me not regret my wickedness, but learn from it a new method...
Today i pledge allegiance to your kingdom and army....
Today i begin the war within...

violator
12-03-09, 7:30 am
This is the point from which i can never return
& if i back down now, then forever I burn
This is the point from which i can never retreat
Because if i turn back now, there can never be peace
This is the point from which i will die or succeed
Living is struggle, i know im alive when i bleed
FROM NOW ON, IT CAN NEVER BE THE SAME AS BEFORE
BECAUSE THE PLACE THAT IM FROM DOESNT EXIST ANYMORE

-Immortal Technique

Firefist
12-08-09, 6:11 pm
some real good posts buddy.

oh yeah, immortal tech ftw.

violator
01-07-10, 9:26 am
some real good posts buddy.

oh yeah, immortal tech ftw.

thanks AA...keep proving those asians wrong in 2010!

violator
01-07-10, 9:26 am
2010…its here...the next 365 days means a lot for my country…increased economic activity and the arrival of the cable from india that will launch us into the worldwide web like never before…
But at what cost?
Its like a double edged sword…with one side wielding growth, stimulus and prosperity…
& the other hiding increased debt deficit and enslavement to the 1st world…
With the good comes the evil…two sides of a kruger rand so to speak…
The masses follow blindly, unaware of their folly…gladly lapping up the tidbits from the Mans plate…& then sitting around with puppy dog eyes…begging for more…looking toward their master with all the reverence and respect they can muster from their captured souls…

Fuck that…2010 may bring a lot of things, but I don’t want them… keep your fucking diseased sarcoma type sickness away from me…I will have no part of it, I want nothing from you… I will remain, fastened to my will, secured in my thoughts…determined in my actions…resisting your poison…
I will keep lurking, unseen in the shadows, the Animal, adapting to my environment… eyeing your every move in silence…while you indoctrinate, divide and enslave my brothers and sisters as they sell their souls to you in blind ignorance…
I will wait with all the patience of a tiger lying in the reeds.... waiting for your slip… waiting for my call to pounce…
Beware the Animal…in 2010 I continue to build Gods armour & grow stronger, faster…my mind develops and sharpens with every passing day… I will stand guard over my family, over those that are close to me…you will not infect them, you will not touch them… lest you feel my teeth…

violator
01-20-10, 9:09 am
I feel like I live in a world of zombies…they are everywhere… the walking dead, running through survival instinct, unconsciously unaware & blissfully ignorant in their consciousness...satisfying their own immediate needs & unconcerned with anything outside of their own perception…hearts of stone must be heavy to carry…
But these are my people, my brethren…how did it all get to this?..how could we throw away our values & sell our souls to the devils of intolerance, deception, ignorance and selfishness?...how can we redeem ourselves?...and how can we do that if we aren’t even aware were doing anything wrong?

Stop being a sellout…that’s how…its so easy to give in to the façade society offers…so easy to slip off & join the herd…well fuck that…im gonna stay the predator, stay circling the herd…
quit buying the propaganda and believing the bullshit fed to us at every turn in the road…sure, it may cost a little…like losing those friends and acquaintances around you that refusing to see the truth, no matter the cost, grow a fucking spine and take their lives back into their own hands…
“But, I live to my own free will.”…what utter rubbish…those are nice Nike sneakers you got on…& that’s a great Abercrombie tshirt u got there bru…shit, it really makes you 12inch guns ‘pop’…shut up & go home…stop by macdonlds on your way & get a quarter pounder for some post workout nutrition…quality

Ill stay here…chopping devils heads off every chance I get…

The_Legacy
01-20-10, 2:45 pm
"when life hands you lemons...paint that shit gold." - Atmosphere

Fuck yeah, love that album.

violator
02-02-10, 3:12 am
FUCK…
Just like that, momentum is gone…hopes dreams and goals dissipate into a mist and float away into the distance…
Hung-gar training has always been my favourite time of the week…theres nothing like the feeling in the minutes before the class…warming up & wondering what physical hell Sifu is going to put us through this week…tiger claps, finger pushups, tiger rolls…are all on the menu..and by the end of 40minutes, im left gasping for air, lungs screaming.. feeling the familiar echo of muscular pain, brought upon me by the most horrendous physical exertion….racking across every muscle fiber in my body….
While im in that moment of semi-pleasant limbo…trying to gather my thoughts after the last set of snake jumps…Sifus voice booms, “pick a partner, tiger sparring.”
Oh yeah, its time….
Being 95kg at 5’10, puts me in the heavyweight bracket with the 90-120kg guys, of which im a good 4” shorter than my nearest comrade in the class, but that’s fine with me…slapping around the big guys is what lifes about…haha..
So here we are, 4 minutes in… heart pounding, sweat dripping…blocks, strikes, kicks…its all good, im dominating the engagement…then we clinch…200kgs of mass bound together, struggling for supremacy, fighting for the upper hand…in the midst of the battle for advantage…I turn and take his back…then…..SNAP!
I fall to the floor….clutching my knee & grimacing, in an all too familiar pain…all too familiar…after a brief examination by Sifu, I leave the class and limp to my car…

It seems I just cant catch a break sometimes…its always when im caught up in my own progress and achievement…that I lose my focus and allow injury to creep in once again…
This time its cost me a lot…3-4months away from leg training..man…I was planning a front squat training cycle that was sposed to start today…fuck…I was just starting to make progress with the prowler too…my conditioning was really improving…
But more than that, there goes the Sanshow competition in May, there goes my hopes of reppin for South Africa at the world champs…there goes everything ive worked for over the last 24 weeks…

Sigh…

However, self pity is for the weak….and im not weak…
there was a time when I would have thrown the towel in altogether, forget training and diet until I healed….
But not this time…not this fucking time..
Sure, the flesh may be weak…but my mind and strength of resolve are burning brighter than ever…
I see it as another challenge to overcome…the devil may be trying to beat me down, take away the warrior within…he wont get me this time…

Improvise and overcome…yeah, that’s how I roll with this one…instead of those front squats, im gonna bust my ass with seated overhead presses, incline presses, close grip…shit…my arms & delts are gonna become cannons over the next few months…and when I get back to Hung-gar, cats are gonna feel my wrath, my disappointment and torment…
I remember the words of that man Bigant, “train around the injury”, “& “train in a pain free zone”…those words could never hold more truth than right now…

I wont slip off again…this time I’ll Vasbyt…ill persist and ill recover..
NOTHING WILL STOP ME. I WILL MAKE IT BACK FROM THE DARKNESS, STRONGER THAN EVER….

violator
02-18-10, 9:14 am
Everybody needs some assistance at some point… for me its most recently come in the form of a pair of crutches…
However, walking around on 4 legs just makes everything require more effort…& at the same time, without them, id be stumbling around like a crippled old man…
It was only when I set them aside yesterday, after relying on them for the last 3 weeks, that I realised the impact they’ve had on me….man…those first few hours of walking like a normal human being again, really messed with my mind, its like I adapted to the support they provided…& somehow its like cutting off live limbs, I grew 2 extra legs and my arms fell off, as if they were full of leprosy.…
I step out of the car at the gym & I notice it takes me those few seconds less…showering is less of a mission & having my arms free to carry things is a welcome change, shit, people even move outta my way on the weight deck, with a smile of fake sympathy, whereas they’d normally not even grant me a second glance…
Kinda makes me grateful that I’m not stuck to these things for the rest of my life, whereas there are so many people out there that are chained to them for one reason or another and rely on them to get them thru their day…
& that’s just it, chained to a crutch…chained to support, to reliance on something foreign to my normal way of living…
Gets me thinking of what other crutches exist in my life, what else is serving me at the moment, that I rely on not just physically, but emotionally & mentally as well?…
What don’t I really need?…and what can I not live without?…
Those crutches that I seek comfort and solace in & pick me up when I feel broken and despaired…a sickened dual standard that I cant live without….conflicting with one another, but both essential to my progress in some part…
I guess the reality is that life would be a whole lot more uncomfortable without them…but sooner or later, they’ll all disappear, to either be replaced by another in some form, or discarded permanently, never to be seen again…
I’ve just got to recognise the difference between the crutches that provide me support and take me out of my comfort zone so I might grow & heal…and those that support me and make me reliant on them, stifling my progress and chaining my spirit…

violator
02-20-10, 6:37 am
"We build move improve...but we dont suffer fools." - Roots Manuva

violator
02-26-10, 8:51 am
Im out of step… I see no point to adding to the furious hysteria of my already overloaded life, by opening a facebook account…or messaging on twitter…
Its not that I don’t care about my peeps, or want them to know the details of my life…
I just don’t want my personal information available to anyone…
Why cant people understand that?.. & why do they flagrantly post there most intimate details for the entire internet community, to bear witness to?
Is it ‘just being a good networker’…?...or keeping in touch with old friends?
Nobody seems to see that ‘the man’ now has all the details of their personal lives…
If I want to talk to you, ill pick up the fuckin phone…the ‘writing on the wall’..was done by Pink Floyd…not me…oh hell…not me…
Sure, I may remain an ignoramus to these programs, but that’s fine with me…as sure as there willing to talk about how their chicken sandwich they made for lunch was just ‘so awesome’… ill be the blind, deaf mute that stays facing the corner…
I can deal with that…
Those that I really care about want to speak TO ME… in the flesh, face to face…
I DON’T WANT TO BE FOUND… leave me alone… I don’t care if I went to high school with you 13 years ago and was the grade above you… & now ur mates with one of my boys in some foreign land & ‘just want to chat’….ive got better shit to do…

But there is one place, a refuge I slink to, where nobody cares about my name or my status…nobody gives a shit about the antics I got up to last night…
A place where im surrounded by like-minded individuals…seeking improvement just as I am…day by day…
When I see that cold black & white…read the words of men & women…deep in the internal, and eternal battlefield of their very being…toiling and raging against their own worst enemy and best friend, themselves…
I feel at home…motivated, inspired by the brotherhood of iron working with me everyday…overcoming the hurdles that this life throws in our paths…& rising up to meet the next challenge without question or hesitation…
This is the only place on earth I record my twisted perspective on reality, a reality only seen by a few, of whom I will probably never even meet in person…
To all those that have read my words, I give respect & thanks… I require no praise or encouragement, but that which I see everytime I log onto a journey, or contribute to a thread… in some ways this place is more real to me than my own life…

Till next time…keep it underground….

violator
03-04-10, 3:11 am
A cause were animals..
O cause were ominous..
T cause were tyrants..
P cause were prominent..

ARMY OF THE PHARAOHS!!!!...THE ILLEST SHIT!

sunny_max
03-04-10, 3:43 am
i agree with the facebook post bro....i dont need to post let tghe world know everytime i cough and sneeze!...good thoughts and state of mind here brother

violator
03-04-10, 10:00 am
i agree with the facebook post bro....i dont need to post let tghe world know everytime i cough and sneeze!...good thoughts and state of mind here brother

thanks cuz...nice to know im not the only one whos paranoid...haha...nice sig by the way...

violator
03-04-10, 10:53 am
Molten hot lava melting off of my frontal lobes…burning its way into my face..
I feel like peeling the epidermis off of my eyes & scouring them out…
LIES…everywhere I look…everywhere I turn…
I see the devil all around me…laughing as his empire grows and swallows me..
How much longer must I resist?...will I ever experience peace?
Manipulated reality…sewn and disguised into culture and doctrine..
Blasphemy and hypocrisy…taken in by us all, guzzled down as truth…
Everyday its in my face…the beast has many forms…leading the cattle to slaughter..
I know its wrong to hate, to feel angered and infuriated…all it leads to is frustration and ignorance…but I feel nauseated and disgusted by the system and its works…
it pains me so much, deepened sorrow that courses through every vein...and I cant forget it…it wont go away…
I was a pawn, a small part of a grander scheme of which I was born, innocently & ingnorantly…
Destined to uncover the madness and expose the workings of evil amongst us..
I pray for strength, honour & discipline, I pray for the souls of those that are lost..
That we all might find our way…
Protect me from the chaos and keep me steadfast…
With this prayer I bite down…so hard that the force cracks my sharpened teeth..I feel warmed with spirit…and the animal within is enflamed with righteous power…
You will not get me…im too quick to catch…
To strong for you to hold back…and nothing can curb my conviction…
I will reap vengeance upon you with the stolen sith of the reaper…
you must pay atonement for your slavery of mankind and abuse of our lives…
I will hunt for the wretched souls of your pathetic minions & exterminate their existence…
I will shed blood for my brethren and fight till the very last drop is spilt…
I am your sworn enemy…
I am the violator of your corrupt ways, fear me, as you hear me roar against your vile voice… listen to the sound of your undoing…
One day we will meet…& it will be your doom…

D-Bomb
03-05-10, 7:46 pm
your a fucking visionary.

Loving the posts man, right up my alley dude, need to make sure i am subbed to keep up to date with you man...seriously need to train together again soon man...ready to destroy!!!

violator
03-06-10, 1:56 pm
your a fucking visionary.

thanks G...that means a lot to me comin from u....

violator
03-10-10, 7:37 am
Like Swave said, I feel the sudden surge to speak,
Let out a violent line of rhyme, that makes ya knees go weak.
Tear into your throat, with a strong hold grip,
& rip apart your jugular, with the iron claws of a tiger,
Ya’ll hater faker cats, induced me to flip,
My ears are burning and itching as you continue to talk shit.
Im uncorruptable, like a third world revolutionary leader,
& when you come to assassinate me, we’ll see whos the bigger bleeder.
Never back down, or show you mercy or compassion,
I just bring the pure powerful force of righteous annihilation.
Swinging a swift fist at subliminal satanic sickness.
Have you ever considered were all just pawns in a game?
An evil plan was carefully laid out, and blindly followed…
Chasing idols, worshiping money, in desperate want of materialistic gains,
The mouth of the devil smiled and he laughed, as our humanity he swallowed.
But I’ll be the rebel, the one you talk about in quiet voices,
Cause im not ignorant, I make my own fucking choices.
Im no longer a debt slave, or part of your selfish system,
I reek havoc and riots, wreck every one of your structures,
Stalk the tormented souls of your servants, and liberate every last one of them,
My heart bears the spirit of a Animal, & to the devil I say, ‘Fuck ya”

sunny_max
03-10-10, 7:53 am
hella yeah....it motivated me for my workout today......solid words bro!

especially the last line!

violator
03-10-10, 9:23 am
hella yeah....it motivated me for my workout today......solid words bro!

especially the last line!

Nice, glad to be of inspiration 2 ya!...hit a PR today!

violator
03-12-10, 3:56 am
Every now & then i find a song that stirs up such emotion within me, that i can understand why Islam forbids listening to music...
The hair stands up on the back of my neck & it feels like the words are coming out of my own mouth...I get a connection with the music and a sinking feeling in my stomach as the artist(s) tell their tale... no matter how many times i play it in a row, the impact just kicks like its the first time ive heard it, the resonation of it within me makes me question my own being...
I found one of those songs last night, as i was driving home from a friends house...permit me to share it...


Caught in a hustle(edited) - Immortal Technique (aka the illest Latino)

They say the odds against me, are crooked and impossible
Like I was born with a hole in my heart it's an obstacle,
or left to die by the doctors, in the childrens hospital
But I never lose hope, success is psychological
The world is volatile and the street is my education
Shaping the nation, like the blueprint of a mason
While Shawshank record deals get you raped on occasion
So I'm Focused on my Economic Situation
I'm Like the little kids on T.V. That dig through the trash
I hustle regardless of the way you talk shit and laugh
A lot of (people) drop science but they don't know the math
'cus their mind is narrower than the righteous path
It's funny how 'on the block' cats will kill you for cash
But never raise their gun and cry out “Freedom at last”
The cold war is over, but the world is still gettin colder
Atlas walking through the projects with the hood on my shoulders
I would like to raise my children to grow to be soldiers
But then the general, would decide when their life would be over
So I work hard until my personality split
Like the black panthers, into the bloods and the crips
They said I'd never be shit, but now I sit and reminisce
Like Yeshua, Ben Yousef flippin through Genesis
Ignorance is venomous, and it murders the soul
Spreading like a virus running rampant, out of control

So if I should ever fall and get caught in a hustle
Let them know that I died while I fought in a struggle
From the hoodrats to rich kids lost in a bubble
Spray paint it on the streets and in the subway tunnels
Write it down and remember, that we never gave in
The Mind of a Child is where the Revolution Begins
So if the solution has never been to look in yourself,
How is it that you expect to find it anywhere else?

Trying to fight the system from inside, eventually corrupts you
But thats what you get when you put a corporation above you
And it's the people that love you that seem to hurt you the most
Sometimes when they die, you find yourself cursing their ghost
But you make success, nobody delivers your fate
Sometimes you give and you take
Since Prehistoric vertebrates, crawled out of the lakes
And thats the truth about life
Or to do it to ghetto and your car, rims, and your ice
'cus even though we survived through the struggle that made us
We still look at ourselves through the eyes of the people that hate us
But I'ma make it regardless of these trumped up charges

And semi-automatic barrages, that empty the cartridge
Post-Traumatically scar kids that try to be brave
'cus (people) backstab each other just to try to get paid
Turn cannibal like knights during the crusades
Afraid of responsibility; Addicted to greed
Beating their girl purposefully losing a seed
As if we were bound to the destiny we used to receive

I used to wonder why people don't believe in themselves
But Then I saw the way they portrayed us to everyone else
They cursed us, to only see the worst in ourselves
blind to the fact the whole time we were hurting ourselves

violator
03-12-10, 7:56 am
Defending whats yours…down to the teeth, like a white hot inferno with a terrible tongue…
However, I digress, theres those times when I let my passion get the better of me and I don’t think of others interests, that’s ignorance right there…
I spose its those times when I become a slave to my own ego & spit flames at the devil without considering the burns I might be bestowing on others as a consequence of my unthought-of actions…
In the aftermath…stooped in self loathing and marvelling at my own arrogance… I realise I put my proverbial foot in my mouth and choke on my own expression…
eternally regretful of how quickly I can be tempted into hatred…
Anger is not the answer, all it does is stir the hate, and im not a hater…But it’s a hard lesson to learn, that what I think barely matters, in the grandeur of the universe and our populace…not everyone wants to hear what I have to say…no matter how much I want to believe the contrary…Im not an inspiring leader or one to follow… Im just one of the people, like everyone else…playin the game as best as I can…while throwing my fist in the air at the devil, every chance I get…
Even though I might occasionally write words of fury, im ever conscious of the fact that im not hardcore or special… heck, theres people out there, ive never met who lift much heavier & harder, people who have learned facts that can make my paradigm spin, people who live lives that seem so horrible and cruel, but continue to persist in the darkness…
thinking about the amazing ability of mankind to persevere and endure, makes me gag on my own sheltered existence…
reality check…
Reality, yeah….its like an anchor, holding me fast in the current and at the same time, weighing me down…sometimes I get lost In the disparity of it and lose focus of its meaning, in those moments I turn to faith and feel renewed enough to struggle forward in the battle of my own life..
As time passes, although I may stumble and fall, my mistakes get fewer, I learn to hold my voice and irrational judgement…& instead trust in those that protect our existence and the spirit that guides us…
The lessons of life sometimes take me by surprise, and shake my thoughts till they fall apart….everydays another new experience and a new lesson, I sit here & wonder.. whats next?


(shout out to Norrim1 for the inspiration

boyer77
03-12-10, 8:28 am
Defending whats yours…down to the teeth, like a white hot inferno with a terrible tongue…
However, I digress, theres those times when I let my passion get the better of me and I don’t think of others interests, that’s ignorance right there…
I spose its those times when I become a slave to my own ego & spit flames at the devil without considering the burns I might be bestowing on others as a consequence of my unthought-of actions…
In the aftermath…stooped in self loathing and marvelling at my own arrogance… I realise I put my proverbial foot in my mouth and choke on my own expression…
eternally regretful of how quickly I can be tempted into hatred…
Anger is not the answer, all it does is stir the hate, and im not a hater…But it’s a hard lesson to learn, that what I think barely matters, in the grandeur of the universe and our populace…not everyone wants to hear what I have to say…no matter how much I want to believe the contrary…Im not an inspiring leader or one to follow… Im just one of the people, like everyone else…playin the game as best as I can…while throwing my fist in the air at the devil, every chance I get…
Even though I might occasionally write words of fury, im ever conscious of the fact that im not hardcore or special… heck, theres people out there, ive never met who lift much heavier & harder, people who have learned facts that can make my paradigm spin, people who live lives that seem so horrible and cruel, but continue to persist in the darkness…
thinking about the amazing ability of mankind to persevere and endure, makes me gag on my own sheltered existence…
reality check…
Reality, yeah….its like an anchor, holding me fast in the current and at the same time, weighing me down…sometimes I get lost In the disparity of it and lose focus of its meaning, in those moments I turn to faith and feel renewed enough to struggle forward in the battle of my own life..
As time passes, although I may stumble and fall, my mistakes get fewer, I learn to hold my voice and irrational judgement…& instead trust in those that protect our existence and the spirit that guides us…
The lessons of life sometimes take me by surprise, and shake my thoughts till they fall apart….everydays another new experience and a new lesson, I sit here & wonder.. whats next?


(shout out to Norrim1 for the inspiration

Very wise words brother, very wise words...

violator
03-12-10, 4:19 pm
thanks boyer..

boyer77
03-20-10, 11:18 am
Just checking in, haven't seen anything from you in a while. Everything good?

violator
03-26-10, 8:25 am
I had the horrific displeasure of witnessing a skinning of an arctic wolf, while it was still alive and breathing….
This disturbed me… no, it broke me… watching helplessly, with tears in my eyes, as one of Gods most beautiful creatures was stripped of its glory, & then thrown aside onto a heap of corpses with its already dead brethren, confused and in a pain that I cant bear to imagine, all in the name of PROFIT…
Any way I look at it, its still murder to me…sadistic, needless, terrible murder…
My initial reaction was one of pure anger & hatred…
Flames blazing from my eyes… as I imagine grabbing the cold steel of a 30” katana, walking into the factory with the power of God within me…& tearing those skinners and their masters to pieces, slicing & dismembering their bodies, ending their corrupted lives & giving vengeance to the locked up animals, spilling the blood of their evil captors…
As my infuriated thoughts subsided, I realised, that is not my duty… their time will come, when they stand in judgment, quivering at their past actions and the hellfire to come forever more, to consume their tainted souls with the same merciless pain they have delivered…
What can I learn from this visual travesty?
How can I move forward from this image that has been imprinted into the back of my mind?, poisoning my thoughts with feelings of despair, sorrow and rage at the actions of my fellow man…
I cannot stop them, no matter how much I want to…this is reality…mans cruelty to his fellow ‘earthlings’…is merely feeding a demand for fashionable murder…
I wonder if the person who will end up draping that wolfs life over their shoulders, will ever give so much as a second thought to the suffering endured by that poor animal…?
Probably not….
They’ll be to busy gloating boastfully to their friends, about how rare and valuable the newest addition to their wardrobe is…
That fills me with disgust…

It also gets me thinking about my own skin…who would want to strip me of it?... & for what motive?
The answer is clear, those that would want me to serve their establishment, keeping it running smoothly and progressively…providing a market for such things as this…unaware & unconscious of the choices I make in my life, everyday…chasing the need to ‘keep up with the Jones”…filling me with the desire for materialistic wants and gradually turning me to caged madness… oblivious to the suffering and pain, of those in the world that serve vindictive masters that hide behind a wide smile in the worldwide marketplace…
NO…
I am the animal you may seek to destroy, but you will not capture me, I will fight to the death, back me into a corner…& we’ll see whose fangs are tougher…my skin is thick and valuable, lusted after by you and your devilish servants… I will not end up across your shoulders; YOU will end up torn to pieces by my enraged defense of my soul… I will bite back with a lockjaw & vasbyt so hard, it’ll have you wishing you never touched me or my brethren…

My question to you, my fellow animals, is… how thick is your skin? & will you fight for it, till the bitter end of all?

violator
03-27-10, 10:53 am
I need to stretch more...a lot more...
I really miss squatting...
I miss my prowler...saturdays arent the same without it...
moan moan moan....

that kid is going to kill me...haha...

TheGreatWhite
03-27-10, 9:59 pm
your a fucking visionary.

Loving the posts man, right up my alley dude, need to make sure i am subbed to keep up to date with you man...seriously need to train together again soon man...ready to destroy!!!

Heard that, D-Bomb! Always good to read the posts here!

D-Bomb
03-28-10, 2:59 am
I need to stretch more...a lot more...
I really miss squatting...
I miss my prowler...saturdays arent the same without it...
moan moan moan....

that kid is going to kill me...haha...

stretch old man!! hehe
i squat when i want to...
aw shame..
yea you moan a lot

damn right i will.

Bomb

violator
03-29-10, 9:18 am
To Bomb, Boyer, the Statechamp & everyone else out there thats reading this twisted thread...big ups urselfs....thanks for the support, vocal or not...its valued..

jandirigma
04-08-10, 2:00 am
Vasbyt – An Afrikaans word, essentially the English translation of this word is, “to bite down and hold on.”, I like to think of it as another word, greater than its mere literal meaning…greater than any explanation or definition can provide… to me, it encompasses a variety of core values in my life, discipline, determination, perseverance and persistence…these are values I strive for everyday… as soon as the African sun brings its warm embrace to me… and opens the path to another day…..

I’ll never forget the day I heard it used for the first time, id just finished a 4 month long trial by fire of my product with a customer, and as he saw the results presented in front of him he said, ”Jason, jy het vasbyt, en jy is reg.”…roughly translated, “Jason, you persevered and the results were as you said they would be.”
Throughout my life I have made clear, vivid memories of past moments…some of them good, some bad, some unexpected…but recalling them is like Im back in that same place experiencing everything for the first time….
In this instance the words have made such a cataclysmic impact on my life, every time I feel things slipping from my grasp, when despair & fear raise their heads & doubt slowly creeps in to my sub conscious when it feels like the world & everyone is against me…I fall on those words, I LIVE those words… & feel my jaw grind, my senses heighten, my eyes blaze with an internal fury burning so hot, it feels its gonna melt my skull… my skin sets alight with tingling passion once again… & I realise….hold on, grab that motherfucka like a pitbull & hold on…till im forcibly removed, kicking and screaming… and even then, ill take a chunk of it with me…that’s how ive made it through the darkness that’s plagued my life, more than once…its how I claim my part of humanity and say, fuck you, to the doubters and haters…ill keep holding on, no matter the cost, no matter how tough it seems…or how desperate the situation is…ive committed…& im not letting go….

This one word plays another role in my life, my iron life… Somehow even though ive managed to gain knowledge, apply it in practise & progress nicely over the last 10yrs or so of lifting….ive just not been able to cross that borderline to 100% consistency with it…whether it be from being sidelined by a knee injury for near 2 years… contracting malaria from African exploits over the border… or more recently, being so fucked up financially & emotionally from my business and personal life… I just cant keep it together…but as I realise, even while typing these words, that I CAN DO IT…I have what it takes, mentally & physically…to keep persisting to achieve my dreams…in the gym & in life…nothing can hold me back, only myself… & this time… more than ever before…. im biting down hard….

Man, I just had to read this again. It just pumps me up! Awesome post, great insight, one helluva message, what else can I say?

sunny_max
04-08-10, 4:16 am
My question to you, my fellow animals, is… how thick is your skin? & will you fight for it, till the bitter end of all?

that line is amazing!.....the least i can say is one should stand up for themselves......fr what they believe in.......and dnt go down without a tough fight!

deifinitely love reading the posts here!

violator
04-09-10, 9:33 am
thanks for reading Sunny...

violator
04-09-10, 9:35 am
Its creeping up all around me, knocking on my door everyday…
Hatred…
Tearing my nation apart, dividing us…breeding bloody, murderous violence..
Sucking the life force out of people and cloaking it in a darkness of worthless emotions…
I cant escape it, im locked in…caged…I must resist. I MUST RESIST.

While in the middle of intense incline bench sets this morning, I hear the biggest boy in the gym, utter slander of ridicule across the room at another iron brother, who was grunting in his efforts…He heard the remark and quietly slid away into the background, it almost looked like he’d been embarrassed….
Why cut the legs out from under someone like that?, is this man not trying, getting up early to hit the iron like the rest of us? seeking improvement and progression?
In my time on this rock ive learned one lesson passed through the ages, that’s always held me in good stead….”If you don’t have anything positive to say, then rather stay silent.”
Words to live by…
After the workout had ended & I headed to the showers, I see the same cat who was ridiculed standing there hitting his PWO shake…shit, this dude musta been in his late 40s…sure his physique isn’t monstrous, but I could tell he was in it to win it…I wonder if that same big guy who slated him will still be training when hes 40?
It appears to me that we are all quick to spit insults and mockery, but rarely move out of our comfort zone to spread encouragement and praise…I find this as confusing as it is frustrating…is this what humanity has come to?
In the past, whenever ive moved my lips to support a person positively, its always left me with feelings of bliss & happiness…primarily because after ive said my piece, the person is usually grateful, creating satisfaction and love in my heart…u could say its almost like the feeling is perfectly reciprocated within me…& we both feel good…
Try that with hatred…hate on a man & u will feel his vengeance, the air becomes so thick with animosity, respect & reason are flung out the window, replaced with blackened intentions and vile words…nobody wins…except the devil who sits back & laughs at the ignorance…

So for all reading this, I would ask you a favour, for me, you and our brethren across the world…the next time u feel like hating on someone, instead of spitting the fire of fury…be a man…suck it up… & like the penguins in the movie ‘Happy feet’ said, “just smile & wave”

jandirigma
04-12-10, 11:31 am
Its creeping up all around me, knocking on my door everyday…
Hatred…
Tearing my nation apart, dividing us…breeding bloody, murderous violence..
Sucking the life force out of people and cloaking it in a darkness of worthless emotions…
I cant escape it, im locked in…caged…I must resist. I MUST RESIST.

While in the middle of intense incline bench sets this morning, I hear the biggest boy in the gym, utter slander of ridicule across the room at another iron brother, who was grunting in his efforts…He heard the remark and quietly slid away into the background, it almost looked like he’d been embarrassed….
Why cut the legs out from under someone like that?, is this man not trying, getting up early to hit the iron like the rest of us? seeking improvement and progression?
In my time on this rock ive learned one lesson passed through the ages, that’s always held me in good stead….”If you don’t have anything positive to say, then rather stay silent.”
Words to live by…
After the workout had ended & I headed to the showers, I see the same cat who was ridiculed standing there hitting his PWO shake…shit, this dude musta been in his late 40s…sure his physique isn’t monstrous, but I could tell he was in it to win it…I wonder if that same big guy who slated him will still be training when hes 40?
It appears to me that we are all quick to spit insults and mockery, but rarely move out of our comfort zone to spread encouragement and praise…I find this as confusing as it is frustrating…is this what humanity has come to?
In the past, whenever ive moved my lips to support a person positively, its always left me with feelings of bliss & happiness…primarily because after ive said my piece, the person is usually grateful, creating satisfaction and love in my heart…u could say its almost like the feeling is perfectly reciprocated within me…& we both feel good…
Try that with hatred…hate on a man & u will feel his vengeance, the air becomes so thick with animosity, respect & reason are flung out the window, replaced with blackened intentions and vile words…nobody wins…except the devil who sits back & laughs at the ignorance…

So for all reading this, I would ask you a favour, for me, you and our brethren across the world…the next time u feel like hating on someone, instead of spitting the fire of fury…be a man…suck it up… & like the penguins in the movie ‘Happy feet’ said, “just smile & wave”

That just made my day man. I've been feeling a bit pissed at what I thought seemed to be someone dissing on a post of mine. I also sometimes can't help but feel anger at the guys driving taxis seemingly trying to run me over. I also feel anger when I feel slandered by someone talking to me. Anger is like an epidemic. Everybody is consumed by it, but in the end, nobody wins. It is pointless. Gladly though, when I feel angry, I just let it pass. I say nothing and do nothing nowadays when I'm provoked, just letting it slip away. Reacting negatively only makes things worse for you and the guy you're pissed off at. Great post!

jandirigma
04-12-10, 11:35 am
Its creeping up all around me, knocking on my door everyday…
Hatred…
Tearing my nation apart, dividing us…breeding bloody, murderous violence..
Sucking the life force out of people and cloaking it in a darkness of worthless emotions…
I cant escape it, im locked in…caged…I must resist. I MUST RESIST.

While in the middle of intense incline bench sets this morning, I hear the biggest boy in the gym, utter slander of ridicule across the room at another iron brother, who was grunting in his efforts…He heard the remark and quietly slid away into the background, it almost looked like he’d been embarrassed….
Why cut the legs out from under someone like that?, is this man not trying, getting up early to hit the iron like the rest of us? seeking improvement and progression?
In my time on this rock ive learned one lesson passed through the ages, that’s always held me in good stead….”If you don’t have anything positive to say, then rather stay silent.”
Words to live by…
After the workout had ended & I headed to the showers, I see the same cat who was ridiculed standing there hitting his PWO shake…shit, this dude musta been in his late 40s…sure his physique isn’t monstrous, but I could tell he was in it to win it…I wonder if that same big guy who slated him will still be training when hes 40?
It appears to me that we are all quick to spit insults and mockery, but rarely move out of our comfort zone to spread encouragement and praise…I find this as confusing as it is frustrating…is this what humanity has come to?
In the past, whenever ive moved my lips to support a person positively, its always left me with feelings of bliss & happiness…primarily because after ive said my piece, the person is usually grateful, creating satisfaction and love in my heart…u could say its almost like the feeling is perfectly reciprocated within me…& we both feel good…
Try that with hatred…hate on a man & u will feel his vengeance, the air becomes so thick with animosity, respect & reason are flung out the window, replaced with blackened intentions and vile words…nobody wins…except the devil who sits back & laughs at the ignorance…

So for all reading this, I would ask you a favour, for me, you and our brethren across the world…the next time u feel like hating on someone, instead of spitting the fire of fury…be a man…suck it up… & like the penguins in the movie ‘Happy feet’ said, “just smile & wave”

Oh, if only the world were a happier place! Hahaha! I've learned a lot from this entry, thanks for sharing it.

violator
04-13-10, 3:16 am
Thanks for sharing your insight Jandirigma.... glad i could move ya!
I have the same problem with taxis over here...haha...i actually got thrown in jail for a day a couple of years ago, for mailicious damage to property & road rage, because i punched out 3 windows of a taxi, after he rear ended me & laughed in my face about it....learned a valuable lesson that day...now i just smile & have a laugh instead... antagonists are a dime a dozen, its the cool headed cats who are the minority these days...& i like being in the minority...


"I can hear y'all hating - the walls are thin" - Apathy

jandirigma
04-13-10, 4:13 am
i punched out 3 windows of a taxi, after he rear ended me & laughed in my face about it....learned a valuable lesson that day...now i just smile & have a laugh instead... antagonists are a dime a dozen, its the cool headed cats who are the minority these days...& i like being in the minority...


"I can hear y'all hating - the walls are thin" - Apathy
I remember myself punching a few cabs on the bumper and the hood. Good thing the police wasn't around, haha!

violator
05-30-10, 12:24 pm
turning a year older...the gravity of the fact, im actually not immortal...
one day il leave this cloak of flesh..but what will i have left behind?
what will i have accomplished?
whats MY legacy?
Questions which in turn provide more further questions than they do answers..
Ive come to realise that i really dont know myself at all...
ive neglected my soul and pushed aside its need for truth and love..
Instead ive chosen to feed my ego...& feed it well
But no more..
I will not create a false rebellion, out of ignorance & confused misdirection..
I will not be guided down a path of narcissistic self empowerment
this is not my destined path.
Get a grip.
Dealing with the sickening dualism of reality will always require a strong mind
but what good is strength if it is misdirected?
I need guidance.
I need balance.
There is only so much I can control in the external.
While everything internally, I can learn to master.
I must cast aside the blinding shadow.
& embrace the light within.

jandirigma
05-30-10, 11:42 pm
Brilliant post man. Sometimes I begin to ask myself the same things.

violator
05-31-10, 5:11 am
thanks man...

violator
05-31-10, 5:14 am
I'm the fire bearer
Holder of the sun
The Earth and the universe combined as one
An everlasting energy taking all forms
Blue skies on sunny days, terrible storms
The one who tears down what you adorn
And curses the material things that you mourn
But look up in the sky 'cause I AM the dawn
And the light that empowers your flesh and beyond
Strong, undeniably so
Lif better known as a society foe
The deity glow reach into my center
I bet you feel pleasure and pain as you enter
The tormenter, pleaser, embracer, squeezer
As your skeleton crush
Your physical turns into gelatin puss
Due to over stimuli
You liquify
I send you back to the earth soil to quench the turmoil
When the ground splits
To swallow of corporations and cops
Give birth to rocks
So we can have solid ground on which to walk
Stand strong and talk
And write down theories in chalk on the side walk

-Mr Lif (Speech cobras)

violator
06-18-10, 6:09 pm
why am I not excited?
am i a killjoy?
excuse me if i dont fall for your distractions...
while those would have fun and games, i tally the bill...
its costing us our lives and wasting us away
and no body cares
not even a little bit
lost in complacent idiotic ignorance
when will people begin to see the evil behind the mask?
entertained by foolish games
starstruck by those with fame
unaware, uninformed - loving life...
or maybe its just me...its always been just me
living on the outside, not wanting the warmth within
I prefer the cold air of truth
I need no consolance, no reassurance
I step back into the shadows watch & prey wait...ever silent, ever still

jandirigma
06-19-10, 6:05 am
why am I not excited?
am i a killjoy?
excuse me if i dont fall for your distractions...
while those would have fun and games, i tally the bill...
its costing us our lives and wasting us away
and no body cares
not even a little bit
lost in complacent idiotic ignorance
when will people begin to see the evil behind the mask?
entertained by foolish games
starstruck by those with fame
unaware, uninformed - loving life...
or maybe its just me...its always been just me
living on the outside, not wanting the warmth within
I prefer the cold air of truth
I need no consolance, no reassurance
I step back into the shadows watch & prey wait...ever silent, ever still
Nice. Sometimes people need to see that necessity must come before mere wants and comfort at the appropriate time.

violator
06-19-10, 6:05 pm
struggle & strife
why am I still losing?
where am I going wrong?
caught up in stressful situations sedating my perception
backing me into a corner
i dont like that...
but theres nothing i can do to stop it.
overwhelmed...
constant pressure
self pity and depression are not the answers
only with action will i ever dig my way out...
i will endure, i will persist-(thank you Toni)
when i close my eyes and feel my heart beating
i know i am still alive
and alive in the stillness...
calm and collected i face the madness
for in a way, it isnt really there at all...


"In my head, drown my fear, till you all just disappear."
- soundgarden

violator
06-21-10, 4:28 pm
That exhilaration of walking on to a weight deck devoid of all human life...
its like Christmas and my birthday all rolled into one
after a brief masochistic session with a foam roller, its time for the violator to come out to play...
i feel the nervous pulse of shock therapy beginning to start my skin tingling sending tremors to my fingertips...
the emptiness all around me holds my focus, no distractions, no interruptions ...
the only sound around me is the familiar clinking of the plates as i load the bar...
blood rushing,
heart pounding...
set on set...
the sounds of pain as i set new boundaries and challenge my limits...
let it never end please....
stress, hate, anger....released.
i gather my thoughts and smile...
maybe its punishment, maybe its escapism...
but it provides me a clarity of the limits in my physical and mental being...
fuck a castle lager

“I aint got no liquor in me...just two shots of shock therapy!”

violator
06-29-10, 10:31 am
my jaws are tired...
ive been holding on for so long, i guess i just got used to the pain...numbed to the continuing downward spiral...
ever the aggressor, always persistant...just keep fighting...vasbyt
but ive slipped...lost my grip & this time i dont know if ive got the strength to get back up...maybe sometimes the story book ending doesnt happen...
was it all worth it?, what have i gained?...was it all a sickening facade, doomed from the beginning?...looking back at what might have been, did i really give my all?...
these thoughts leave my mind feeling bled out...i feel worthless, i have failed where i swore i wouldnt...
Its time to move on and leave behind the noose that has been slowly strangling me for the last 8 years...a noose that ive gladly worn...its left me with burn marks and stretched my skin...ive grown tougher and learned how to keep struggling while the breath is being choked out of me...
Ahead lies a new path, alive with possibility, stirring my curiosity...
I may be left with nothing, but the refreshing sense of freedom, eclipses the pain..
revived, re-invented, re-animated...I release the grip, & retaste life...

D-Bomb
06-30-10, 6:06 pm
closed as per user's request.