PDA

View Full Version : Just another Day in the life.



charlievanriper
10-13-09, 12:03 pm
Well since i know this would not get read in my Journey as only a couple guys ever go in thier, and thier is almost no activity viewing my Videos I worked hard on. I decided to just post this in a new thread.

Well Tomorrow is the big Day! And here is something I just wrote to express my feelings about these 2 days.

Well Tomorrow is the big day! and I am getting angrier and angrier by the minute and more and more difficult to be around. The big days where most guys have fun ( Birthdays and Christmas ) I hate both and curse thier existance.

I do not get to have fun on either day, I dont have anyone ( well other than my wife ) to share it with, nobody remembers the day or cares how much it should mean to me. While others have parties or have friends take them out for a drink or whatever I sit at home watching TV. This is one ****ing example of shallow people 11 yrs ago one of my so called friends turned 40 I through him a huge over the hill birthday party at a club we all hung out at, but when my day came you know what that cheap bastard did on my Birthday? He sent me an email, the bastard lives in town and close and he sent me a ****ing Email. Now dont get me ****ing wrong I have a great life its just that I am ****ing tired of hearing about your 15 close friends that through you a ****ing suprise birthday party, when Iím lucky to have a couple Internet friends send me a email!

This would not bother me if I never had those things, but the problem is I am used to having those things. Goddammit before I got married I had tons of friends always was invited out, never stayed home was busy constantly with one or more friends, people wanted me around, now the single old friends dont want to hang with a married man, and the married couples all have kids and dont understand why Crystal and I dont want to haqve them so they dont want to hang! So thats my ****ing Bitch the day before my so called big day!

Now Christmas is easy, I have visions of what Christmas should be. I have never been able to get our families together to have a Family style Christmas, and on that day all I get to here about are how successful my sisters are and how great my nieces and nephews are and thier job is great and thier vacation is great and and and and and all about them, nobody wants to here about mine and Crystals life and when they do ask about us half way thu the answer I get cut off and the subject gets changed, so all we do on Christmas is fucking eat and sit around either listening to our family BS by my selfish narrow minded sisters or go hide in our bedroom and watch sports. So I would say that the day is not like any other, but its totally fucking worse!

So does this sound like jealousy to you, well **** yes it is. I am Jealous of something you have, and that now I dont have anymore!

Enjoy your popularity and your friendships because thru this Shallow selfish world your popularity will not last, It will end in a crash just as mine did after marriage!

I am not angry about getting older nor the additional Knoweledge and Experience that comes with age, I am angry about the overwelming and Godaweful Loneliness that permeates these two days and the days surrounding them!

Thank God Bithdays and Christmas only come around once a year because I hate both days with a passion.