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korinek00
05-25-10, 8:31 pm
It's dark. It's late. 10:30 p.m. Still need to run. Must make it difficult. I see the horse arena. Perfect. The deep dirt should be sufficient to pulverize my legs. I measure off the number of laps for a mile - foot by foot. 10 laps per mile. Need 3.5 miles. 35 laps it is.

Must not run in dirt with new running shoes. I enter the arena - barefoot. Can't see. No moon. Only the stars. I throw on the 40 pound vest. My body quivers. I should be inside. Watching American Idol or CSI. On the couch. Where it's warm. Indulging in hot pockets. Pizza. No. I should be right here. Here in this arena. Here in this state of mind. The warrior mind. The never quit mind with a no bullshit attitude. An attitude understood by few. An attitude seemed to be lost in this world. Replaced with a lazy, whiny one. Full of excuses. Full of I can't. Lap 13. There's a sticker bush in the arena. Can't see it. Can't dodge it. 13 times I've hit the stickers now. There's thorns in my foot. But I can't stop. I can't slow down for it would ruin my run.

Lap 33. Almost done. There's blisters on each shoulder from the 40 pound vest. 40 pounds? Why so much weight? Why NOT so much weight? Your running barefoot in a horse arena. Your weird. You should come to the party. You should come drink and have fun. Be normal. Like everyone else. 35 laps. I'm finished. I'm beat, but not broken. I hurt, but I'm stronger for it. I'm tired, yet each pump of my heart energizes my aching legs.

I go inside. Not one head turns. No one notices my absence. Glued to the tube like zombies. People wonder why I put myself through so much pain? Why do YOU put yourself through so much pain? You drink till you puke. You stay up all night. You eat fast food three times a day while watching 8 hours of TV. Why do you do it? No answer? I know why I do it. I do it for Progress. Challenge. To push forward. Never stagnate. I will not settle. I will not be content. To become complacent, to slow down, give in - means to admit defeat and become weak. On this journey. In this life. I choose the path of greatest resistance. Yeah, it's against your human nature. Yeah, it's hard. What do you want? Pity? Sympathy? A Hallmark card? You have a bed. A warm house. A fridge full of food. And you still whine and complain about having to get up at 7:30. About your curfew. Complain because you have to put in a 40 hour week, sitting at a desk in an air conditioned building.

I choose to ride the spiral and embrace the rhythm. I choose to push the envelope. I choose to go where no one's been.

korinek00
06-06-10, 6:13 pm
If I live to be 60 or 70 or 80, I want to be able to look back at my life and be, "Yup, I gave her all I got, no regrets". NOT, "Man, I wish I would have done something, I wish I would have tried harder, I wish I would have had the balls to go after what I wanted to do, but instead I settled because it was easier."

The latter example gives me chills, I can't even fathom that, in fact, I would go so far as saying, that is the greatest thing I fear in life.That is what keeps me going. Being old, knowing I didn't give it my all and shied away from my passion because of the work would have been to hard. Being old, knowing I left things I wanted to do undone. Things I wanted to experience but was scared of failing.

Your life is like a movie, when your old and watching your life's movie playing back through your head, are you going to regret not doing something? Are you going to be wishing you would have done this or that? If so, then you better fuckin' get busy.

For in life, it is not the things we did that we will regret, it is often the things we DIDN'T do we will regret.

korinek00
06-06-10, 6:14 pm
Life is like poker. You're dealt a hand. It may be pocket Aces or it may be Seven-Deuce, the worst poker hand mathematically. Whatever the hand, play it like you fuckin' got pocket mother fuckin Aces. Whatever the hand, play it so fucking aggressively, so crazy, so over the top, people will fold their pocket Kings because they are scared of you holding the one hand they are a huge under-dog to. Be a maniac, be crazy, be a fucking freak, be that guy other people whisper to each other behind your back, "Man that guy's crazy, he's a work horse, he's got balls, he never stops, he keeps going, I could never do that, I don't know how he does it". That is how you must play the cards your dealt, that is how you must do life.

Firedrake
06-06-10, 10:14 pm
I like your attitude, bro.

At 56, you'll find me on the treadmill in a sauna suit and 80 lb. vest -- with most of the kids looking at me like I'm crazy.

It's all about moving forward.

woody06
06-07-10, 1:46 am
Man you definitly know how to fire a guy up.

korinek00
06-10-10, 4:46 pm
Here is a quote by Arnold:

"Conquering, achieving, climbing, getting higher and higher to the top, that's what life's all about, is living, rich, rather than just existing and wasting away your life." - Arnold

I look at this every morning as soon as I wake up, it gets me in the mindset for the rest of the day.

Why just exist? Why just take up space? Why just do the minimums? Why just get by? Why just go through the motions?

Why not go after your dreams? Why not be a champion? Why not be a leader? Why not be excellent? Why not push the envelope?

What are you afraid of? Fear of failure? Fear of success? Fear to be great? Fear of hard work? Fear of sacrifice? Fear of dedication?

"You better lose yourself in the music
The moment you own it you better never let it go, oh
You only get one shot, do not miss your chance to blow
Cuz opportunity comes once in a lifetime, yo."

-Eminem

Look, you've got only one shot, one opportunity, one fucking life. Whatever it is that you want to do, fucking do it.

Firedrake
06-10-10, 6:36 pm
Yup. That about covers it.

Well written!

Wingman
06-10-10, 7:02 pm
wow...great words my man. keep postin up ur shit. its deep.

Beowulf
06-11-10, 9:57 am
Some good words in here. Keep them coming.

korinek00
06-11-10, 5:32 pm
I posted this in another thread.


The posters in school said, "Attitude is a small thing that makes a big difference."

Right on the money, it is such a SMALL thing and is often neglected and never even noticed. People don't even realize that their attitude is negative, bad, and sour. Be more aware of your attitude towards everything, every second of the day. When you go to work, go to work with a positive attitude, rather than one like, "This sucks, I hate work, how long do I have to be here, etc. etc."

When you become more aware of your attitude, you will begin to notice how much negativity you actually projected towards your life. When you do notice your attitude become negative, you can change it on the spot, instantly.

Another thing, you do not have to let bad things effect you in a negative way. Again, work for example, yeah it may suck, yeah it robs you of time, I'm sure we would rather be out boating, spending time with family, you name it, BUT don't let bad things get to you. Don't let them get you down, get you angry, get you flustered, because if you do, you are giving it power over you. When you let something effect you in a negative way, you are giving it control of your thoughts, your emotions, and essentially are letting it control you.

Work on mastering your mind, controlling your thoughts, your emotions, and your attitude.

Who wants to be around a fucking sour nancy who complains and whines about everything?

korinek00
07-06-10, 8:52 pm
"My life is simple, my food is plain, and my quarters are uncluttered. In all things, I have sought clarity. I face the troubles and problems of life and death willingly. Virtue, integrity and courage are my priorities. I can be approached, but never pushed; befriended but never coerced; killed but never shamed."
- Yi Sunshin, Last letter to an old friend.

This is it boys. This is my life. My life is simple for I am a simple man.

I eat plain foods: eggs, oats, milk, bananas...nothing fancy here. I don't clutter my life with unneeded possessions. My car is simple, a '94 Concorde with 230,000 miles and a bunch of dents, but it gets me from point A to point B.

I don't have the latest I-Phone or Droid. My clothes aren't fashionable, in fact, they almost all have at least one hole.

I don't have 150 two-faced fake friends to make myself feel popular. You can count the number of people I consider friends on one hand. On a date, I would rather grab a $5 greesy cheeseburger rather than some high-dollar fancy French restaurant.

But that's just me. I'm not on this planet to worry, squander, and fight over
Earthly possessions which are nothing more than a bunch of atoms strung together to give the illusion of a physical object, which in fact, are nothing more than empty space.

You keep living your life for these possessions, for this empty space, keep living your life of emptiness, cluttered with matter and tangible objects.

My life is rich. Rich with my dreams, my vision, and my goals.. My life is full. Full of honesty, respect, and courage. Although my cup may never runneth over with the newest clothes, cars, and gadgets; my life overflows with the intangible and invisible.

Each day is one step closer towards the impossible; one step closer to stepping into infinity and never looking back.

korinek00
07-16-10, 9:24 pm
Each human being shares two things in common within the cycle of life - we will return to the dust from which we came and we all have our reputations. Our bodies will cease to be - one of two guarantees stamped on our asses at birth.

Each one of us carries our reputation with us everywhere - to work, the gym, home, school..... It's a brand, a tattoo, but it is not static. It is always changing and evolving with the person. Each day is an opportunity to change our brands for better or worse.

Don't deny this power, the power of your reputation. Actively seek to build it, brick by brick, as if it were a house. Build it with a brick of honesty and courage. Build it with a brick of determination and perseverance. Put in windows of humility and humbleness. Put in a bedroom of love for family and friends. But DO NOT FORGET to build your front door with what it means to be a fuckin' animal. Build that front door with leadership and kick ass so the moment someone meets you and they take that first step through your front door into your reputation house, they know you are a fuckin' animal, they know you mean business.

Belief in an afterlife or blank nothingness after death, it doesn't matter. You may be robbed of your possessions, you may be beaten, and even killed, but no matter what happens, your reputation will never die, it will live on.

You will always have your reputation - the other guarantee stamped on the other ass cheek at birth, right next to the death one.

korinek00
07-27-10, 1:58 pm
You hear that? You feel that? It's one of my favorite things; the sound and feel of my beating heart. How to often I ignore it!

It beats, rhythmically, to the tune of you and only you. It beats in order to sustain you, as an organism, as a human, and as a person. It beats tirelessly 24/7, 365. It does so, so that you may experience both pleasure and pain, taste both victory and defeat.

It beats without so much as a thank you or a pat on the back. It does so willingly, it asks for nothing. It doesn't take sick days and it doesn't make excuses. It doesn't take days off and it never half asses it.

Your heart will beat, it will work, it will slave for you for your entire life.

Just remember to show it some respect: some healthy food and a little exercise goes a long ways. I guarantee you your heart will love you for it. Now, it may not verbally say, "Thanks for those Fish Oil capsules and that run, me love you long time." But, it will express its love the only way it knows how: it will beat stronger, healthier, and more efficiently for you so that your life may be more pleasurable.

And once in a while, take a moment, lie down, close your eyes and relax. Let your heart know how much you appreciate it by tuning into it and tuning everything else out. Just listen as it does what it's always done and always will do. Just feel it. Feel it beat for you and only you - the feel of being human, the feel of breathing, the feel of being alive.

violator
07-28-10, 8:03 am
really like your posts...especially 'simplicity'
ill be lurking & learning...

peace

korinek00
08-05-10, 5:53 pm
"Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes." - Fortune cookie at a Chinese restaurant.

Whether you know it or not, the people you work with, associate with, the people you see on the streets, in the store, the people driving in their cars, the people you live next to - these people are looking for a leader. Maybe it's at work, maybe it's in school, maybe it's in the gym, maybe it's in your own house - wherever it is, be THAT guy.

At work, be the guy people respect (maybe not like) but respect nonetheless, that guy who goes the extra mile, the guy who does the job right the first time, the guy who the boss knows can count on you, knows when the boss turns his back you won't stop working. Hold yourself to a higher standard - embracing all the values of being an Animal.

When the people around you are dragging and feeling down, fire them up! Get 'em going!

When you feel yourself dragging ass let know one know. When your tired, beaten, and sore, don't let it show. Metaphorically speaking, don't put your hands on your head or your hips, don't bend over when your gasping for air, don't let your opponent, rather, don't let ANYONE fucking see just what your feeling on the inside when you FEEL you are about to drop, can't take one more step, can't complete another rep.

If you ain't the lead mother fuckin' dog, you are ALWAYS going to be getting orders from someone else, ALWAYS going to be staring up someone else's ass hole.

Firedrake
08-05-10, 11:05 pm
Too right. I've been in that position before, and I hate it. Working on getting out from behind.

korinek00
08-10-10, 10:52 am
There's over 6 billion people on this planet. Each one unique to his or her culture, beliefs, and desires. Millions of variables shape us, forms us, and seek to divide us. Maybe your black, asian, white, christian, muslim, smart, dumb, big, small, republican, democrat, sematic, anti-sematic - fuck all that bullshit. In my mind, there are two types of people...

The first type are floaters. Like a fucking turd in a toilet bowl they will sit there, floating, unmoving, complacent, static their whole lives - only to rot and stink without ever moving outside their toilet bowl, their boundaries, the limitations they've set for themselves, the toilet bowl - it's their comfort zone. Floating there, with the rest of the shit and piss that holds them down, never willing to step outside and become something more than a piece of shit, a floater.

The second type of people are like a marksman, like an arrow. Sharp, focused, and determined. Flying 100 mph at their goal, at their target. These people build themselves up, sharpening the tips of their arrows, replacing the feathers, smoothing the shaft, to become sleeker, more accurate, more prone to hit their mark - they take into account every little detail that might disrupt their shot - the wind speed and direction, slope of the terrain, humidity, the downward pull of gravity. These people know you only get one shot at life -you might as well aim for the motherfuckin' bullseye.

Are you a floater or a marksman? Are you a winner or a loser? This is black and fucking white. You are or you aren't. There's no middle ground. The line's been drawn.

Take your side...

Firedrake
08-11-10, 6:47 pm
Nicely said -- but then, I've been a shooter since I was 8 <grin>.

korinek00
08-17-10, 12:40 pm
I take a step back and become an observer. I see them and I see me.

I see them in their cars. I see them in the store. I see them at work, but do they see me?

They only see a fraction of me. They only see the cover of a book, but that's OK. I'm OK with that. For I am not writing this book for them. I am not looking to whore my book out to reach a million sales, to become popular and accepted.

No, my book is for me and me only. I'm the author, the publisher, and the critique. Everyday I add a new page to my book, every year a new chapter.

And again I see them. They are letting someone else write their book, letting someone else define them. They've surrendered the responsibility of being the author.

Although I see them, the best part is I see me. I know exactly what page number I'm on. I know where I'm going. I know what I want my book to look like.

Armed with my pen, my paper, and my book mark I will write my book every day, every hour. I will not get lost in the pages like the rest...

Firedrake
08-17-10, 8:15 pm
It's hard sometimes NOT to get lost in the story, and to remember you can change the direction of the plot as you go along.

korinek00
08-18-10, 12:21 am
It's hard sometimes NOT to get lost in the story, and to remember you can change the direction of the plot as you go along.

So true. You can change the setting, plot, characters, the whole fucking nine yards any time you want.

It's just a matter of doing it.

korinek00
08-19-10, 12:11 am
It's crystal fucking clear to me now. Like the transparent water in the Bahamas, or the pristine stillness of a fresh and pure lake in the mountains, like a spotlight lighting up a Broadway show, like the north fucking star guiding the Wisemen of old.

For so long it evaded me, hid from me, played tricks on me, fucked with me, bullied me, but I persisted, I persevered, determined to see the man behind the mask. Today I caught that fucker. I held him in my hands and I smiled. As I unmasked him and looked him in right in the fucking eyes I became speechless, motionless, and thoughtless. Father time stood still. The lucidity of the moment besieged me, it left me gasping for air, almost knocking me down.

It wasn't what I expected or imagined. It's not what I wanted to see, but I saw it anyways. What I saw was myself staring back at me. A sense of anguish began flowing through my veins, but only briefly, replaced by excitement, eagerness, and relief. All this time it was me. It wasn't some external force in the physical universe holding me back, weighing me down, it wasn't gravity. It was me and only me.

I stand here now with a new vantage point. Every day is a battle, a war ground littered with mines seeking to deter and fuck me up. Every day is pure psychological warfare not against anyone or anything, but my fucking self. All along it was me holding me back.

Am I enlightened? Have I come upon some sacred knowledge? No, I'm just another mother fucker who realized that every day is a scheduled 24 round fight against myself. I'm my own worst enemy, was always, and forever will be.

Firedrake
08-19-10, 1:47 am
Boy, that's too damn true -- you're also your own worst critic.

korinek00
08-31-10, 12:37 pm
Every morning I inhale the fresh air of a new day. It tingles my nostrils and soothes my lungs. The hair on my neck stands up and a smile spreads across my face. Every fiber in my being awakens.

As I rub the sleep from my eyes I remember - today is a new day, a new beginning, the first and only day of the rest of my life, just as every day is.

The morning dew sparkles in the grass and reminds me of this simple yet easily forgotten endeavor. Treat every day as if it were your last, tell your loves ones you love them, remind your friends you are there for them. Treat each day as a gift for life is precious.

I step outside now and greet the Sun - magnificent, powerful, beautiful. Will I leave my footprints on this day? Or will I become lost and succumb to my own negativity, to be washed away and forgotten with the rest? Will I seize this day by the fuckin' nuts and take control? Or let it stomp on me, beat me down and put my tail between my legs?

Don't wait for new years to make a resolution, shit, don't wait until tomorrow, don't procrastinate because Father Time doesn't fucking wait for any one. As soon as we were conceived our hour glass was flipped over and is running this very second.

So wake the fuck up out of your slumber. Own each day, make it your bitch, stamp your name across it, make a mark. Each day leave an impact just as an asteroid does on the moon - noticeable to the naked eye 238,857 miles away. Actually, fuck that. Each day leave an impact so big the blind man at the nursing home can see it.

That's when you start living. When you start to taste the sweet nectar of life. That's when you become high on life itself...

korinek00
09-09-10, 1:19 am
I'm a fucking nobody. Like a grain of sand on a beach, I go unnoticed. I'm nothing more than a peasant slaving for a king. I don't like it one fucking bit. That's why I do what I do.

How can that not piss you off? Do you have a shred of dignity or a hint of fight left in you? Are you that fucking whipped?

I'm a fucking nobody. Wanna be a somebody? I've got to fucking prove myself. Day in and day out. Doing work, paying my dues, eating dirt. This shit isn't going to be handed to me on a silver platter. It's not going to be gifted and given to me.

I'm a fucking nobody who wants to be a somebody. But everyone wants to be a somebody. Everyone wants this and that. You say you want "it"? How bad do you fucking want "it"? Are you willing to sweat and bleed for it? Are you willing to fucking die for it? If not, shut the fuck up and quit bitching because you don't want it bad enough. You need to want it like a drowning person wants a breath of oxygen.

It needs to be the only thing on your mind. It needs to be the thing that guides your day to day life. All your choices and thoughts, consciously and subconsciously need to be directed at this thing. Everything else is bullshit.

I'm a fucking nobody that's just about had it with the weak fucks, the stuck up preppy bitches, the attention whores, the drama queens, the excuses, the whiners, the bitching, the lazy cock suckers. Like vampires they drain my positive energy. Do I tell them what I really think of them? Do I let the beast in me out? But if I do that then I let them get to me, let them fuck up my focus and divert my attention, let them win. They aren't even worth my time, energy or thoughts. So I force a smile on my face, keep my mouth shut and my head down, plowing forward while they get stuck in my wake as I move on to bigger and better things.

I'm a fucking nobody and it pisses me the fuck off.

korinek00
09-09-10, 11:35 am
"Eye on the TV
'cause tragedy thrills me
Whatever flavour
It happens to be like;
Killed by the husband
Drowned by the ocean
Shot by his own son
She used the poison in his tea
And kissed him goodbye
That's my kind of story
It's no fun 'til someone dies

Vicariously I, live while the whole world dies
You all need it too, don't lie

Why can't we just admit it?
Why can't we just admit it?"

Tool - Vicarious


It's sickening. Humanity that is. The human species. Over the past few hundred years we haven't evolved one bit. I'd say we've taken huge steps backwards.

We have all this knowledge and technology, the power to change the world is at our fingertips, yet we continue to shoot ourselves in the foot. We choose to participate in self destructive and defeating behavior. The sad part? We fucking like it. We like the violence, the drama, we want anarchy, we want an apocalypse, we want a doomsday to happen because our own lives are so dull and boring.

Our "advanced" and "intelligent" society prides itself in it's education. From K-8, then 4 years of High School. Not including college that's 12 years of education. That's 12 years of bullshit. We can solve complex trig equations and calculate the square of a pie to the co-sign of a tangent... blah blah blah. It's bullshit. It's created a needy and dependent society. It's created people that can't think and question for themselves. Created people that are "book smart" but dumb as a fucking rock with no common sense.

I want REAL knowledge. Stick a person out in nature and see how long they last. I want to go back to a time where there were no bail outs, when you fucked up you either died or lived and learned from it. My soul yearns for a time when people respected and took care of themselves, the environment, and their loved ones.

We have sent people to the moon yet we rape and pillage our planet, our environment, our fucking home. We have I-Phones and I-Pods yet we want more, more plastic, more gadgets and things. Our society has become self indulgent with no self control. We see, we want, we buy. Our society has a must have mentality, my friend has it so I must have it. My generation thinks somebody owes them something, they think they deserve something, like flipping burgers and scrubbing toilets is above and beyond their dignity. Well it's fucking not.

When is enough enough? When will people with a like minded awareness stand up together and challenge the status quo? I shan't worry. I'm going to learn to swim and in the end we will get what we deserve.


"Fret for your figure and
Fret for your latte and
Fret for your lawsuit and
Fret for your hairpiece and
Fret for your prozac and
Fret for your pilot and
Fret for your contract and
Fret for your car.

Here in this hopeless fucking hole we call LA
The only way to fix it is to flush it all away.

It's a
Bullshit three ring circus sideshow of
Freaks

Mum's gonna fix it all soon.
Mum's comin' round to put it back the way it ought to be.

Learn to swim."

Tool - Aenima

korinek00
09-15-10, 11:53 am
I believe we all have two sides to us just like we have two arms, two legs, and two nuts.

We have that side that seeks improvement, love, companionship. It's care free, energetic, and uplifting. This side is what drives us to the weights and keeps us on our diet. This is the side that gives without expecting anything in return and lends a helping hand anytime it can. This side loves life, loves living, loves breathing. It loves the act of self improvement through lifting, diet, meditation, learning. This side knows no bounds, no limitations. It isn't afraid of failure because it knows success. This side is infinite potential, capable of anything the visionary can imagine.

Our other side, the one that feels sorry for ourselves and feeds off negativity. It wants you to fail and stay down, forever remaining a failure. This is the side that craves the easy path. It's only desire is to indulge in immediate self-satisfying pleasures that keep you trapped and imprisoned within your own worries and self doubt. This side is that little voice in your head that speaks to you. During a hard workout it's the voice that wants to cut it short and go half as hard for half the time, it plays tricks on you, it tries to reason why you should call it quits. It gives you a list of excuses which all seem legitimate, but their lies. This side is a fucking liar.

We can plateau mentally just as we can plateau physically. When you hear that voice speak to you respond with a big "Fuck You" and do the opposite. I seek to master the mind.

Mirrorball
09-24-10, 6:26 pm
I love reading your posts. They are extremely motivational.
You have great taste in music too. Tool are amazing.

korinek00
10-01-10, 12:22 am
My body burns like a forest fire from the lactic acid and muscle fatigue. Like pistons in a Nascar race car my heart is pounding. My lungs labor feverishly and snot keeps flying out my nose. The sweat is running off me forming a pond at my feet. I look up and notice a sign saying, "If you sweat profusely, please use a towel." I can't help help but laugh.

I. Love. This. Shit.

My senses are reeling. Is the room really swaying and rocking? My ears have popped, I can't hear. My body is shaking. I puked 15 minutes ago. And then I enter a new state of awareness. I feel like I've transcended to an alternate reality. It's as if I've become detached, like an observer. The pain is there, but it isn't. I can feel it, but I don't. I've reached that point, I've hit that wall and my second wind propels me off the ledge into the abyss. I no longer identify with the pain. It's like I can see it, as if it were a person standing right next to me. No longer is it a stranger in the dark with a mask and a gun, but a friend, a parent, and a mentor.

korinek00
10-06-10, 12:21 pm
So much to do, so little time. I have these moments of clarity where I can see my future. Just a glimpse, nothing more than a peek. I see the man I will become whether through fate or destiny or by my own fucking will and my two hands. It doesn't matter because I will make it happen. I see the faces of those suffering. Willingly I put this burden on my back. No I don't want a fucking cookie for it. I see the path I've laid out before me. Where there's holes, I'll step around. Where theres a cliff, I'll climb over, where theres a dead-end, I'll fucking dig a way out.

korinek00
10-06-10, 12:25 pm
I need to develop the ability in my training to know when to crank it up, when to slow down. To distinguish between being a pussy and needing to recover. When I dissolve the ego I believe my training will take to new heights and cover ground I have left untouched. I need to trust myself to do this, to step out on that limb. I may faulter, but I know I will develop that 6th sense and build the bridge between my mind, my body, and me.

korinek00
10-06-10, 12:29 pm
It's OK to be deep. It's OK to be emotional. It's OK to philosophize, question, and be more than a normal-pop culture-celebrity loving addict. It's OK to cry, it doesn't make you a pussy or any less of a man. Sorry, gettin' pussy from the neighborhood whores doesn't make you a man, not in my world. Anyone who tells you different, anyone who doesn't see the beauty you see in yourself, fuck'em.

"Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."

- Dr. Suess

korinek00
10-06-10, 12:33 pm
No I'm not cheap, I'm resourceful. No I'm not a suck up because I arrive early to work every day, I'm a hard worker. No I'm not an over achiever, wait, yeah you're right. I am an overachiever, a perfectionist. And that's why you'll be working these dead end fast food jobs the rest of your sorry existence you call a life.

korinek00
10-06-10, 12:38 pm
I took a cold shower. I sat down and let the frigid water pelt my face. I let it symbolize all the shit I will have to overcome. I sat steadfast as my body shivered from the well water. I turned the water off and slowly opened my eyes. I stood up with my vision blurred. As it cleared, I looked at myself, naked and vulnerable. I saw the bathroom as if for the first time. I felt reborn, like I had never lived a moment before until right now. Like I had been transported here, shifted reality planes, fresh out of my mother's womb. Is this crazy? Would my peers think me a weird ass motherfucker? You bet your left nut they would. But when your livin' life on your own terms it doesn't matter. This shit is just another day in my life, as normal to me as the sky is blue to them.

korinek00
10-06-10, 12:44 pm
How about a cold bath twice a day? Once upon awakening out of my warm bed and the second directly before hitting the sack. How about no more hot showers? Just the cold as it digs at my skin. How about no more radio in my car which I routinely put on 80-100 miles a day? Just the silence and sounds of my surroundings. How about no more eating out? Not once, not one morsel of an Oreo or a Tostito chip with nachos, not even on super bowl Sunday? How about meditation twice a day? See, I can't allow myself to get comfortable. If you get comfortable you're fucked. I need to keep my edge sharp and my sights focused.

korinek00
10-09-10, 10:09 pm
Instead of, "I have to go workout, I have to eat this tuna and oatmeal, I have to go to work tomorrow."

How about, "I GET to go to workout, I GET to eat this plain food everyday, I GET to go to work tomorrow and the next day after that."

You don't HAVE to do shit. We're lucky we even have the opportunity to go to the gym and pick the foods we want to eat.

korinek00
10-09-10, 10:12 pm
Don't be "realistic". Don't set "realistic" goals. Think it was realistic for Lance Armstrong to win the Tour de France seven consecutive years? Realistic for Michael Jordan to win three back to back championships and six overall throughout his career? If you're setting realistic goals, you're setting limits for yourself. Might as well go sell tacos on the fuckin' street corner.

korinek00
10-09-10, 10:15 pm
I caught Alabama's head coach saying something to this effect today:

"It's not about what you've done, it's not about what you could do, it's about your commitment to right now, to each day."

Commit to each fucking day. Don't save yourself for tomorrow. For our time is short and your time could be right now.

korinek00
12-23-10, 11:14 pm
You ever have that feeling? You wake up and immediately your ears pin back like a dog about to fight for it's life. You wake up and just fucking know you won't be beat, won't quit, won't put your tail between your legs. You wake up knowing you won't coward down or put out an excuse. You know however big a shit life takes on you that you'll persevere, you'll overcome and adapt, not just to survive, but conquer. So you wake up, ears pinned, with a swagger cause you know you're the fucking man, not in a cocky, arrogant way, but in a calm, collected, confident demeanor.

This feeling is powerful...do you feel it?

Wingman
12-24-10, 7:20 am
There's over 6 billion people on this planet. Each one unique to his or her culture, beliefs, and desires. Millions of variables shape us, forms us, and seek to divide us. Maybe your black, asian, white, christian, muslim, smart, dumb, big, small, republican, democrat, sematic, anti-sematic - fuck all that bullshit. In my mind, there are two types of people...

The first type are floaters. Like a fucking turd in a toilet bowl they will sit there, floating, unmoving, complacent, static their whole lives - only to rot and stink without ever moving outside their toilet bowl, their boundaries, the limitations they've set for themselves, the toilet bowl - it's their comfort zone. Floating there, with the rest of the shit and piss that holds them down, never willing to step outside and become something more than a piece of shit, a floater.

The second type of people are like a marksman, like an arrow. Sharp, focused, and determined. Flying 100 mph at their goal, at their target. These people build themselves up, sharpening the tips of their arrows, replacing the feathers, smoothing the shaft, to become sleeker, more accurate, more prone to hit their mark - they take into account every little detail that might disrupt their shot - the wind speed and direction, slope of the terrain, humidity, the downward pull of gravity. These people know you only get one shot at life -you might as well aim for the motherfuckin' bullseye.

Are you a floater or a marksman? Are you a winner or a loser? This is black and fucking white. You are or you aren't. There's no middle ground. The line's been drawn.

Take your side...

In the words of Yoda: "Do or do not, there is no try"

korinek00
02-09-11, 9:03 am
This website (www.sealfit.com) is ran by a Navy SEAL by the name of Mark Divine. One of their camps is the “Kokoro” camp, Japanese for “Warrior Spirit”. They called it a “mental toughness” camp. It really interested me until I saw the price tag of $1,300. My first thought was, “holy shit, yeah right. I can't afford that. I'm a broke ass kid making minimum wage at a sandwich shop. ” A few weeks went by, I put the camp off figuring I wasn't going to do it. But my dad got on my ass about it and he was right, if I really wanted to do it I wouldn't let a little money stop me. So I said fuck it, I'll get the money. So he cosigned a loan for me and I signed up for the December camp.


A few months go by and finally the day is here that I get to leave. I've got my plane ticket, train ticket, and my mom even prepped a folder for me listing every step of the way to guide me. Me, being a guy, definitely would have gotten my ass lost. Thanks mom. Haha. I called it my “Dora the explorer folder”. The night before I leave I'm too pumped already and only get 1 hour of sleep. My train leaves at 3:45 a.m. I leave my place at 2:30 a.m. My dad and I get to the station and there's only one other couple waiting for the train too. The train arrives 1 hour late. But fuck, I've never been on a train before, so I'm stoked just to ride a train. I can't sleep and get to denver at 7:00 in the morning. I make my way to the bus stop. The bus ride to the airport took about an hour. I was the only person on the bus for the first 45 minutes so I sat up front and me and the driver talked the whole way.
I grab some grub at the airport, buy a few books to pass the time, security wasn't bad at all. I'm not sure what all the hype about the scanners is in the news. I did set the alarm off though because I had change in my pocket and I elected not to take my hoodie off and had to get patted down, and I guess girls can't pat down guys and vice versa? The chick had to radio in a male to pat me down, c'mon, I don't bite. ***gott probly liked pattin me down. Haha.

The plane ride was 2 hours and finally I'm in San Fuckin Diego California. I step outside and immediately soak in my surroundings, namely the palm trees and spanish architecture. The warm air felt awesome. A cab took me to Encinitas, the town where the camp is, about 30 minutes away. Dropped me off at my hotel, Quality Inn and Suites, and first thing I do is head to the beach. The ocean was humbling, stretching out as far as I could see, just vast and enourmous. Little birds were everywhere, they were hilarious. Piles of kelp shit were washed up everywhere too. I took a long walk, the wooshing sound of the ocean was very relaxing. When it got dark I grabbed a bite to eat at a local place. Cheapest place ever, had meatloaf and veggies. The owner and me sat and talked. Older guy from Michigan, business man. I go to the hotel and crash. I wake up , checkout and begin exploring.


To be continued...

korinek00
02-09-11, 9:04 am
I couldn't resist and I head for the SEALFit compound. On my way I see people doing burpees and air squats, a crossfit workout, put a smile on my face because I knew I was close. I get there at 9:30 a.m. We are supposed to be there at noon. First thing I see is Mark Divine. We shake hands. He's a solid dude. First thing he says is “Your early”. And I'm like “well hell yeah”. He had me take a seat and wait for everyone to show up. But this girl in her 30's, or 40's, super fit, comes over and asks if I want to go for a run with her and another guy. Well fuck yeah, I'm in fuckin california. I'm not gonna sit on my ass. As we head out Mark says “Now no complaining this weekend”, cause I'm going on this run which I think is just going to be around the block or something.

She is a mom with kids and during the run I find out this guy is an ex-Navy SEAL, Brad, that runs www.sealgrinderpt.com. This guy failed a math test in Second Phase of BUD's and was dropped from training. Came back a second time having to start all over from the beginning and graduated. This motherfucker went through Hell Week TWICE, yes TWICE, spending over 10 months in BUD's all together. Well, we ended up running 9 fucking miles in my shitty ass shoes I've had since 9th grade. I've got big ass blisters before the camp even starts. We hustle back cause were cuttin it close on time and I see all the other guys dressed up and ready to go. I change and the girl grabbed me Subway, said she felt bad running so far before the camp. Real nice of her
.
We all introduce ourselves to each other and stand awakardly in a circle because we have no idea what the fuck to expect. We each take turns getting video taped for about 30 seconds just introducing ourselves and explaining why were here, etc. While we stand and wait, like cows about to be slaughtered, the instructors are in a coaching meeting planning how to slaughter said cows....

korinek00
02-09-11, 9:06 am
Finally, they have us line up. Our class is a small one, only 8 people. The instructors pace around with their hands behind their backs, a cold stare on their face. Then all hell breaks loose. We drop to the pushup position and hold it until our chest, delts, and arms felt like they were bleeding. Then we switched to flutter kicks, then air squats, then leg levers, then pushups, then flutter kicks, then burpees, then more pushups, a vicious cycle.

Then they started spraying us with water, shouting at us. We looked like a bunch of chickens with our heads cut off. We definitely weren't acting like a team and the instructors kept picking us apart .If our shirt came untucked, you got fucked. If your buddie's shirt got untucked, you got fucked. At all times you had to have your "weapon" secured, which was a 5 foot pvc pipe filled with about 8 pounds of sand. I learned real quick never let go of that bitch because they would grab it and throw it, making you bearcrawl to it.

After a good ass kickin on the grinder we go for a run on the beach. And already my quad is cramping up. I'm like fuck. That 9 mile run might come back to bite me in the ass. Not even 2 hours into this thing and my fucking quad is cramping. We do a bunch of races and competitions on the beach. Sprints, fireman's carry, 100 yard horizontal rolls that made you feel like you had the worst hangover when you stood up.They made sure we were wet and sandy. The water was fucking freezing.

Then we all fill our our rucksacks with sand. Probly 45 pounds or so worth. We do more races, overhead holds with the ruck sacks, all sorts of shit. We finally head back to HQ where Mark gives us a lecture. In between every evolution we get a little break where we get to hydrate and eat and Mark lectures about the mind, body, and spirit. We lived off MRE's, energy bars, and gatorade. The MRE's weren't to bad, just don't get the fried rice, straight up vile shit. The mint chocolate energy bars started out good, but I never want to see another one of those things ever. haha

korinek00
02-16-11, 2:38 pm
It's dark now and the next evolution is “Murph” which consists of: a 1 mile run, 100 pullups, 200 pushups, 300 squats, 1 mile run WITH our rucksack on. That beat the shit out of me. I ripped my callous off on the pullup bar. My legs were screaming bloody murder and I think I achieved a new max heart rate. They had classical music on the whole time, nice and relaxing, cough, not. After that endeavor, we then have dinner, the first of the two hot meals we get all weekend. We went around and introduced ourselves again telling why were here.

It's maybe midnight now and we head out onto the grinder and do some SEAL grinder PT for a couple hours. We have a tug of war contest, bearcrawl contests, wall squat contests and just like always, it
pays to be a winner and the losers get fucked. Then we run to the beach and get to a little lookout tower where we perform 5 pullups, 10 pushups, 15 squats and then run up a big ass ramp and back down a shit load of times. All I remember is the ramp was big, long, and steep. Me and another guy were always fightin for 1st and 2nd . The losers had to go get wet. Then we had to do an exercise where we ran down a big set of stairs and picked an item out of this box, and had 60 seconds to memorize as much detail as possible. Then run back up and report back what was on the item. My first time I blew ass. I picked a Hi-C type powder packet. I bullshitted where it was made and a bunch of other stuff but the instructers had a notebook with all the info and made me run down and do it again. Haha. This time I got it right. My memory starts to blurr here, but the sun started coming up and we headed back to HQ.

korinek00
02-21-11, 8:23 pm
Fuckin' get outside and go live! Soak up every experience, good and bad. Sittin' with your ass on the couch and your eyes on the TV ain't livin' my friends.

korinek00
02-21-11, 8:36 pm
Doing housework isn't a chore or a drag. I have the luxury of having a roof over my head and I have the opportunity to take care of it and improve upon it.

Cooking my food isn't a chore. I have the luxury of eating as much as I want. Shit, I even get to choose what I eat, how 'bout that? We have brothers and sisters starving all over the world and you're going to complain about having to prep your food?

You think having to workout is a chore? If you two arms and two legs then you better be providing some sort of physically challenging stimuli for your body. There are people that have no legs that would die to be able to run again, to feel the ground beneath their feet and you're going to bitch about cardio? Probably on a treadmill to boot because it's cold out, you fucking pussy.

I feel obligated to push my physical body to and past it's limits, it's my duty and my responsibility on behalf of all those that physically can't. This lifestyle is a privilege. Let me spell that out for you - P-R-I-V-I-L-E-G-E. Ingrain that word in your fucking head so you don't ever fucking forget it.

korinek00
02-22-11, 7:35 am
How about work? You going to bitch about that too? You're going to gripe and moan about having to go to work? Well guess what, you don't "have" to go. You don't "have" to do anything. Having a job is a luxury and don't ever forget that. It's an opportunity to open up doors, to work your ass off and prove yourself. There are people on this planet that would do anything to have a job at McDonald's so they could afford a few morsels of food for their starving children.

Don't for one second think you have it tough because you and I can't even begin to wrap our spoiled little minds around tough.

korinek00
02-22-11, 7:53 am
Draw a square on a piece of paper. Then draw a little circle in that square. Look at it and ask yourself what you see. Oh, you see a circle inside of a square? How about all that white space in the square? The white space taking up 95% of the square you failed to fucking notice?

Everyone sees the dot, the little sliver in their finger, they piss and moan about it, text their friends about it, post about it on facebook, piss and moan some more, failing to realize you can pull the sliver out of your finger you dumbshit. And if for some reason you can't pull it out right away or at all, just remember how small and insignificant it is compared to the white space.

We ,as humans, seem to fail hard to see the white space, a mistake I beg you and myself never to make again.

korinek00
03-05-11, 7:47 am
We got the log out for log PT. We start walking to the beach with it on our shoulders. The height difference in our class was absurd The smallest guy maybe 5'3 and the tallest maybe 6'2. I was the second tallest at 6'0 and the guys in the back had to carry the brunt of the load due to the height difference. So 5 minutes in with this log and I knew we were in for a rough time. It dug and tore into my shoulder, rubbing my skin right off. As we're walking we see a random ass couch on the sidewalk and they want us to take the couch with us too. So me and another guy grab the couch, we head to the beach. The instructors have a fire going, but we don't get any of that heat just yet. We have 10 minutes to dig a hole in the sand, by the fire, big enough for the couch to fit. We grab little sticks start digging. We have breakfast by the fire and again go around and tell everyone why we are here.

Our food at the camp consisted of gatorate, little chocolate mint cliff energy bars, and MRE's. At first I thought, fuckin awesome, chocolate energy bars, and now I hope I never see one of those fuckin things again. Lol. After breakfast we have more races on the beach. We also got to sit on the couch by the fire, but in order to stay on the couch we each had to go around and tell a good story or joke. I told them about the time at work (@ Jimmy John's) this kid, probably 17 years old, comes in and asks if we have a bathroom, yeah it's in the back, 15 minutes go by and we forget about him, but he comes out, doesn't by a thing and dips out of the store. After our lunch rush I go to clean bathrooms and I should have known better. I see this thing lying in the corner, I thought it was a shirt, well it was the kid's underwear and he fucking shit himself and left them in the bathroom. C'mon fuckin' A.

Then they want us to take the couch out into the ocean. We're on a public beach and people were just like, wtf, as we drug this couch out into the ocean. Even I was like, wtf, not the couch...c'mon...But they wanted us to sit on it out in the water. Then we had to drag it back to the beach, up a big ass sand berm, and by now the couch weighed about 500 pounds with all the water soaked into it. Then we had to drag one of the piles of kelp up this sand berm and I'm thinkin, piece of cake. Wrong. The kelp was a bitch. It was wet, it weighed a shit ton, it was all tangled up, and it reeked.

We have more races on the beach consisting of: sprinting up the hill and back, sprinting up the hill and rolling back, sprinting up the hill and spin 20 times, around our weapons lodged in the sand, so we get dizzy as fuck and fall on our asses down the hill, sprinting up the hill and crabwalking back, how about crabwalking up the god damn hill and rolling back, anything you can think of, they turned it into a race.

Cellardweller
03-05-11, 10:24 am
Inspiring brother.

korinek00
03-09-11, 11:31 am
"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us....As we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others."

—Marianne Williamson

This quote hits home at this particular moment in my life. I now see the fear - the fear that I am capable of great things. Not solely for the benefit of me, but for everyone around me. That I am capable of producing a lasting change in this world. One that could carry on forever after I am gone. I can be that light, that initial wave, the instigator. I can be somebody that people look up to. I see this fear now, for a long time now it evaded me. I could sense it, but couldn't pin it down, it acted as if it was a part of me, but it's not. More like a parasite leeching off of a host.

I'm stepping out of the fog now that blurred my vision. When I thought I was treading water in a bottomless lake, I was in the shallow end of the pool, I could touch this whole time. When I thought I was halfway up the mountain, ready to plant my flag in the soil at the top, I was still eating a bowl of chicken noodle soup at base camp, I hadn't even dawned my gear yet.

This means more responsibility. Demanding more from myself. Higher expectations. Acting as if every little action matters because it does. We are connected in ways beyond words and concepts can convey. Take a simple thing like making someone smile, you could damn well make their day and never know it. Now, they go and make someone else smile and make another's day. It's like a wave and I'll be the earthquake that starts this monsoon. Not one of destruction and terror, but of positive, creative energy that pulses through and around you, forever.

Think about the seeds you want to sew. Does an apple seed not sprout an apple tree? Or a pear seed a pear tree?
In the same manner, actions stemming from love, kindness, and compassion produce results that reflect these. Think about your actions and thoughts and what kind of seeds you want to sew and the kind of trees you wish to grow.

It's easy in a world full of negativity to be filled with anger and a temper - with a black cat-firework-like short fuse to boot. But you and I are leaders, otherwise you wouldn't be in the gym seeing stars and hearing voices on your 5th set of squats. I'll be dawning up a new set of weapons, one of positivity and patience, actions that now stem from my heart not with only myself in mind, but for the well-being and good of those around me. Instead of building walls between myself and my brothers and sisters in humanity, I'm tearing them down.

For I wish to be a man of wisdom and honor before success, a man of compassion and value before victory.

korinek00
03-22-11, 11:10 pm
Now, we have to take our log out into the water and don't underestimate that water, it's cold. We push our log parallel to the beach through the water and every so often Mark Divine calls us in to do some PT and shit and then back into the water we go. We continue this cycle down the beach and back until we are asked to link arms and lay in the water. But they won't just let us lay there, which would have been nice, they make us summersault backwards so our feet touch behind our heads while we're all linking arms. My eyes quickly filled with sand and when we finished the specified reps I was blind as a bat, and I believe everyone of my team mates was too. As we stood up the instructors asked us to start running, but we couldn't fucking see and I think they got some sort of sick pleasure out of this. haha

It's heating up now outside as we are asked to go on a nice little walk, with our log, through town. Again, the height difference was killing us and we kept rotating trying people in and out, trying to save our shoulders. After the nice little walk through town with our logs, we make it back to HQ and Mark gives us another lecture.

It's dark again. The second night. By now sleep deprivation is starting to kick in for all of us. We gather up in a room and Mark explains we are to go on a "mission". Our mission is to hike, single file up this mountain with fully loaded packs (weapons, canteens, food, the sand bag, etc), once at the top we are to do a sort of recon on this house. We are to memorize as much detail as possible then head back to HQ.

A little hike right? No sweat. We pack up, pile in this van, and they drive us out to the mountain. The drive was 45 minutes away and the instructors made sure the heat was up full blast in the van tempting us to fall asleep. But of course, you fall asleep, you get fucked. We made sure to keep a conversation going between us to keep each other awake.

We arrive at the base of the mountain and we each dawn a green glow stick attached to our packs to keep us visible. We are suppose to be at the house at 2:00 a.m. I'm in the front of the line and I try to set a pace so we can make our designated time, but, in the end, we can only go as fast as our weakest man. Anyways, we start hiking. No one ever told us how far it was, the coaches just said you'll know when you get there, just follow the little gravel road. We were instructed not to talk to each other, only using hand signals and shit. The only time we could talk is when we stopped for water, in which case we whispered. The only noise was the wind in the trees, the gravel crunching underneath your boots, and the voice in your head.

I have no idea how long our hike lasted, but I have never been in so much pain, so uncomfortable in my life. The straps to my pack were digging into the fronts of my bleeding shoulders and my lower back, due to the bounce of the pack, looked and felt like hamburger. The mountain was very deceptive, there were so many "false peaks". Every time we thought we were at the top, it turned and started up hill again.

I began hallucinating pretty hard core. At each false peak, I swear I could see the house, but it was a god damn tree every fucking time. Each little shadow in front of me on the ground, I thought it was a hole that I'd step in and roll my ankle. A guy in the back comes up to me and says he wants to be in front because the glow sticks are bouncing and making him sick. "Ok." I say. I switch positions to the back and by god, the fucking glow sticks. The mother fucking glow sticks. They were all bouncing creating shadows on the ground, which made it seem like the ground was moving. Not only was I seeing the house at every peak and avoiding "holes" in the ground created by shadows, but now the ground was fucking moving.

We stopped periodically for water breaks. One of our guys, an out of shape older guy, was having difficulty continuing. So, in groups of two we rotated, carrying his pack for him. There came a time where we all thought we were lost, that we might have taken a wrong turn,

"How could this hike last so long? Surely we took a wrong turn guys." Which really fucked with your head.

Well, we finally did make it to the top and sure enough there was the house, but I had seen the house 1,000 times already at every false peak, I wasn't going to let my mind trick me until I could touch that bitch. What's really funny though, is the house had an outdoor light on and I thought it was a camp fire. I started hallucinating and dreaming and shit that it was a camp fire and we we're all going to sit down and get warm, maybe roast some marshmallows and make a few smores and tell stories. But, soon enough I saw it was just a light and my little daydream was crushed underneath the cold tone of the instructors telling us we didn't arrive on time and to hurry up and get our recon done with. We split up into two man teams and memorized as much detail as our little delirious minds could handle at the time.

By now I was absolutely freezing. The wind was blowing at the top of that mountain and I missed the part where we were suppose to bring 8 pairs of shirts and 5 pairs of pants to the camp so we could change clothes periodically. Before the hike, everyone changed into nice warm clothes except me. Fuck I'm dumb. I had the same wet clothes on the whole weekend.

Done with that, they told us to start hiking back down which ignited a sense of despair in each of us, some more than others.

"Hike, back down? All the way? No way, there's no way." Some of the guys chatted.

I didn't partake in the conversation as some of the guys began to bicker at each other.

"Fuck it I thought." I was ready to walk, to run, roll or whatever down the mountain because it didn't matter anymore. The pain didn't matter.

They ended up picking us up part way down the mountain. We piled into the van and they cranked up the heat. If we fell asleep we were to be punished. I tried my hardest to keep the guy next to me awake. He'd be talking with me and mid way through a sentence he would fall sleep. I'd wake him up, and he would start talking again right where he left off, without missing a beat. It was actually hilarious and I continued this for the whole 45 minutes.

The van pulled up at HQ and we climbed out. My legs were like cement. My feet were swollen like a god damn volleyball. We gather together in a room with Mark. He was pissed because we didn't make our 2:00 cut off time. So, we were to be punished.

All in all, we ended up hiking 14 miles, all up hill, with 55 pound ruck sacks on.

Wingman
03-26-11, 4:51 pm
I needa read this BEFORE I work out and not after, I wanna go lift again.

korinek00
03-27-11, 7:57 pm
I needa read this BEFORE I work out and not after, I wanna go lift again.

lol

korinek00
04-26-11, 1:21 pm
I want to talk about the idea of being Selfish and how, in my opinion, one of the greatest delusions a person can have is the idea of being "Selfless" or not selfish and is the cause of an untold amount and unnecessary suffering and pain.

Our society brings us up with a skewed meaning of being Selfish. There is actually two types of Selfishness, although we usually are brought up with the idea of being Selfish as a bad thing, as if there existed only one type of Selfishness.

The first type of Selfishness:

The idea of being selfish as a bad thing is an illusion. This is a big hurdle for some people and was for me, there is nothing wrong or bad or negative with being selfish. In fact, self preservation is our very most basic instinct. Trying to be selfless is like opting for "non-being", it's illogical, its denying our innermost drive at the center of our being that we share with every living thing.

What about the mother that dies for her child? Or the soldier that dies for his country? Or the martyr? Isn't that selfless? No. The mom dies for HER child, not the neighbors child and the soldier dies for HIS country. The martyr dies for HIS beliefs. See?

I repeat: There is nothing wrong or bad or negative with being selfish. What happens when you believe there is something wrong with being selfish? This is where Guilt comes in. Guilt is a destructive emotion that will tear you apart.

I'm not bashing religion when I use this example, this isn't the place to discuss religion, I am merely using this imaginary person as an example. Mary is a devoted (insert religion here), she is tied to the idea that there is something wrong with putting your needs first before others is wrong or sinful. She feels like she should give more to charity or volunteer more. Which is great, but, she's doing it out of guilt, not because WANTS to do it, but because she feels like she HAS to do it. You see? This is a sure way for a miserable life. Give to charity because you WANT to.

Living life however you see fit, doing what YOU want to do, rather than doing what you feel like you SHOULD or HAVE to do, is the first type of selfishness and when you begin to process this and contemplate it, doing what you want to do and living life as you see fit and putting your needs first is actually not the least bit selfish, but completely natural and no reason to feel guilty.

Ponder this and you will realize everyone, I mean everyone, your mom, your dad, your wife and you are acting out of selfish interests. What happens is we put people up on a pedestal like they are angels or some shit. Let's say you had a girlfriend for 2 years and she cheats on you and what happens? You become angry, sad, you feel sorry for yourself, you say how could you do this to me? Look, you did it to yourself. You put her up on a pedestal. She's just being selfish, what did you expect?

What about our parents? They just had to get busy in the bedroom. They just had to have a child of their own. But this type of selfishness is completely natural, you just need to stop putting people up on pedestals like they are a saint because they're not. And when you stop doing that, people don't have control of your emotions anymore, control of your happiness, they never let you down anymore because you never put them up in the first place. The saying, "I'm an ass, your an ass, where's the problem?" is the basis for this. You just need to see that you're an asshole, just like the girlfriend that cheated on you, just like everyone else and your troubles will go away.

The second type of Selfishness:

This is the real selfishness, the kind that is unneeded, the negative kind, the kind that causes trouble. Being Selfish in this context is when you try to IMPOSE your view, your opinion, your way of life on other people. That's the destructive type of Selfishness, not the former in the top paragraphs.

You with me?

The real Selfishness is when force your way of life on others. I'll use this example. Some of you are parents, now, let's say your kid isn't very athletic, isn't really in to sports, he's the kind of kid into the debate team or math team or speech team or likes to read and write poetry or something. Now, you as a dad, you were the high school football team captain, prom king, jock, you were the man, the star. Good for you. But now, you try and force your kid into athletics, you deny him what he really loves, the debate team. You say the debate team is for pussies and bitches and he needs to be a man, he needs to play football. Your kid will be miserable and you will be miserable. That's being Selfish. That's the real demon right there. Not the first type of selfishness, but this type right here.

You see the difference? Live and let live.

Now, with that said, I've often asked myself why I do what I do and I think it's important to question why you do something. Why do I make my body so sore? Why do eat the same plain foods? For a long time I did what I did because I felt like I HAVE to do it, I felt like I SHOULD do it. I looked at all those less fortunate than me and I thought if I didn't do it, didn't live up to my potential that I was just being selfish. This was a good start and had good intentions and got the ball rolling for me, but, this is a form of guilt, and is a sure way to a miserable life.

That was a big illusion, a delusion, and a very dangerous one that may or may not effect you. Once I dropped that illusion I realized I do what I do because I fucking love it. I love everything about it, I love eating right, I love the pain, the discipline, everything, fucking everything. The pain, the pleasure, I love it all the same.

I don't do what I do to be an example to others, nor to be a source of inspiration, not because I feel it's the right thing to do, or I feel it's my duty. I don't go against the grain just to go against the grain, that's like dying your hair pink just to be different. Fucking stupid.

People have already thanked me for my service and I haven't even shipped out yet, you can thank me all you want but the truth is I don't do it for you, I'm not serving to protect you, I do it for me. I get a big 'ol stiffy from the pain. I get some sick satisfaction from eating the same fucking foods and drinking nothing but water. If you don't get a full hard on when you talk about leg day then maybe this shit isn't for you. You dig?

Bottom line, if you want to know peace, drop that illusion, take yourself and everyone else off the pedestal. You're no saint, and neither is anyone else. Do whatever you do for YOU and realize that everything you do, you already do for yourself. But you lie to yourself, you say you're doing it for your country, for the ones less fortunate that never had a chance, you say you're doing it for your kids, NO. You're lying. You're doing it for you. And if you're not doing it for you, you won't last. You'll quit. You'll find an excuse. Because your denying your only instinct! Self preservation. And maybe you're doing what you love already, but you lie to yourself and say you're doing it for a good cause or some bullshit.

The name of the game is awareness through self observation. Just see through that illusion I'm talking about and it's like taking the blinders off your eyes and 100 pounds off your back. Just see that you're a selfish ass hole just like everyone else and there is no problem with anything or anybody.

I'll end with. "I'm an ass, you're an ass. Where's the problem?"

korinek00
04-27-11, 8:01 am
I would like to clarify that if what you took away from "Being Selfish" is to go around and be an asshole to people then you missed the point because that is not what I'm saying.

korinek00
04-27-11, 8:44 am
After the hike, we have a session with Mark and he's pissed. We missed our 2:00 a.m. dead line. Now, we have to do another mission to make up for our failure. He has us grab our ruck sacks again and down to the beach we go, maybe a 1/2 mile away. As we're running my, strap comes apart and my ruck sack falls off my back. I hurry to put the strap back together so I don't get left too far behind. The group stops and I catch up and the instructors all tell me I'm slow and worthless. lol. They have me drop to the pushup position to remedy my slowness.

They have us take off our ruck sacks and the name of the game is to keep up with the coaches. Of course, they take off at a dead sprint, fuckers. We try to keep up, but there really is no way. They are fresh and we're beat to hell. All along the beach are huge stair cases to the top of the cliff, back to the city. These stairs are no joke. As we're running, the coaches stop at the bottom of each one, but have us run up it. Look, by now, I never would have thought my body would be able to keep going like this. I sprinted up those fuckin' stair cases and sprinted down. Literally skipping 3 or 4 stairs on the way down not giving two shits about rolling an ankle or anything because I wanted to beat the other guy. I wanted to win. It was ridiculous. It blew my mind. My quads burned so bad and about 3/4 up on each stair case, my legs would be so toast, it felt like someone was just ripping my muscles from the bone, yet I was able to keep going. Stair case, after staircase, after staircase...it was endless..

We finally reached the end of the busy part of the beach. Mark had us gather around him and take a knee. He explained Man's Will to Live. Everyone has some sort of a will to live, otherwise you wouldn't get your ass out of bed in the morning. Some have it more than others. Like the movie "127 Hours", the guy cuts off his own arm so he doesn't die. He wants to fucking live. That's what I'm talking about. Anyways, Mark talks about that and then points over to a big pile of rocks. He tells us, "Go across that stream there, pick a rock that represents your will to live, but, don't let your ego get in the way and pick one too big, otherwise you'll drop it and you don't want to know what happens if you drop it. On the flip side, don't pick one too small, then you're just being a pussy. Once you pick one up, you can't put it down. Choose wisely."

I wade across the stream and to the pile of rocks. These rocks were different. They looked kind of like cement and they all looked the same. Some bigger than others. I'm looking for my rock and I spot it, love at first sight. I get all giddy and excited like a little school boy because this rock is red and round and smooth unlike the others, the other rocks are cement like, jagged, and ugly. Remember, once you pick up a rock you can't put it down. I proceed to pick up this rock and as I do, I shit my pants. Love at first sight turned into me wanting to break-up with my rock. She was such a bitch to me. She was fucking heavy, really dense and thick. She was round and smooth and I couldn't grip her. Just like your mom tells you not to judge a book by it's cover. This rock, she was so sexy on the outside, but such a bitch, she really fucked me over, but damn, was she sexy.

I wade back across the stream to Mark and we all gather around again except this time we all have our rocks. Except this one guy. This guy starts wading back across the stream and immediately the instructors are all over him like sharks.

"What the fuck is that? Is that you're fucking rock? Put that sorry ass fucking pebble down and go grab a real rock."

To which he replys, "But I thought once you pick up a rock, you can't put it down?"

And the instructors shout back, "We make up the rules, put that fucking rock down and go grab a bigger one."

It was hilarious. This guy grabbed a tiny little rock. Hahaha. It cracks me up just thinking about it. Once he grabbed a bigger rock and we all gathered up, we started marching together back across the beach. We all had to walk in sync, as a team. Then, the instructors grabbed a slimy ass piece of kelp and wrapped it around all of our necks so we HAD to move as a team, otherwise it would choke us. We had to walk up every staircase that we had run up previously, except this time presented a different challenge.

Mark made it very clear not to drop our rocks. I wanted to take my rock and toss it into the pacific. She was such a bitch to me. I tried a million different ways to carry her and they all equally sucked. It was hard to put her on my shoulder because she was round, she didn't fit into the groove like the other, more square like rocks. She got wet and sandy, that means she got fucking slippery. I tried carrying her just in front of me, holding her with my hands and it bloodied up my forearms because the sand was rubbing. I put the bitch on my head like you see those people carry the jugs of water and that sucked. She gave me a headache like the morning after partying with your boys. I rotated between these three positions and we ended up walking up every staircase we had ran up. It was really quite tricky with the kelp tied around our necks because it forced us to walk and work together.

At last, we reached a spot where Mark had us put our rocks down, I filed the divorce papers with my rock and that was that.

korinek00
04-27-11, 11:30 am
It's important to take responsibility for your life. That means taking responsibility for your actions, your thoughts, and the words that come out of your mouth. That's the first step if you want to get anywhere in this life. If you want to ditch your minimum wage job and grow, as a person, you need man up and realize that you are where you are, not because of someone else, but solely because of you. You need to see that you choose, this life situation you are in, every little detail, your friends, your apartment, your socks, your shitty little life.

All too often I see people blaming either (a) someone else or (b) something else. How about this example. You are late to work because you get a flat tire. You will tell your boss "I'm sorry I'm late, I got a flat tire." See, you just did it. You just put the blame on your car, on your flat tire. You are making excuses. You are lying to yourself. You aren't taking responsibility. Don't even put in the, "I got a flat tire." You're fucking late. "I'm late." End your sentence right there. The tire part is extra. See what I mean?

Even if you did get a flat tire, it's your fault. You should have checked your air. Maybe your tires were bad. Maybe you should have had them replaced. Maybe your tires were brand fucking new and guess what, it's still your fault, only you are to blame.

I'll use another example. Let's say you take that car, the one that had a flat tire, you take it in somewhere to get serviced. You tell them not only to fix the flat tire, but maybe rotate the tires, balance them, and maybe change the oil. You pay for their services, take your car home and realize they fucked you. They fixed the flat, but didn't balance, rotate, or even change your oil, but charged you for it. Now, you can either put the blame on them or you can see the truth, realize it's your fault.

How's it your fault? Look, you bought that car. You picked that job. You drove your car to your job that morning. You ran over the nail that popped your tire. You took your car to them. See what I'm getting at?

What am I exactly getting at? My point is, EVERYTHING that happens to you, every little minor or major thing that happens, even a pre-existing condition you were born with, you choose. You choose this, you choose this moment, whatever this moment entails, you continually choose it.

Listen, notice how I didn't say "you chose it". I'm not using past tense here. I'm talking about right now. This very moment. Every little thing that happens, however minor or major, it's your fault, only you are to blame. You choose everything. You choose each situation. You choose each moment.

Let's say you were born with a pre-existing condition. Like Nick Vujicic, the guy born with no arms and no legs, this guy was born with no limbs, none, zip, nada. He chooses that. He could put the blame on his parents, on whatever god he believes in, he could blame the universe or, quite simply, he could blame himself, see that it's his fault, ( and I don't mean blame yourself in a condemning way) and take full responsibility for his condition.

How does he choose that? How does he choose to have no limbs? It's simple and this applies to everyone. You choose to get your ass out of bed every morning and by doing that simple little action, you choose everything that happens to you, every pre-existing condition you might have or one you might acquire down the road.

Because you choose to get out of bed in the morning and choose to partake in eating and drinking, you choose life. Whether it's raining, snowing, or sunshine out, you choose it. Whether you just got fired from your job or your wife had an affair, you choose it. No matter how bad or good life seems right now, maybe you are about to be convicted from your apartment or maybe you just won the lottery, maybe you just placed last at your last bodybuilding competition or maybe you won the whole damn thing, I repeat, you choose it, you choose this.

One last thing, I'm going to take this one step further: You need not only take responsibility for your actions, your thoughts, and what you say BUT EVERYTHING YOU DON'T DO, DON'T THINK, AND DON'T SAY.

A bit of a paradox?

korinek00
04-27-11, 12:22 pm
Personally, I think anger or rage, whatever you want to call it, you know it, you've felt it, I've felt it. That one emotion that makes your face go red, it makes your vision blur, it makes you see blood. Let's call it anger. I think it's wasted energy. From anger springs forth apathy, grief, fear, hatred, shame, blame, regret, resentment, and hostility. None of this shit does you any good. It may fuel your fire for a while, maybe get you through a tough time, it may help you smash a record in the gym, but it won't last. It's like putting nitrous in your car, it's good for a burst, but it won't sustain you. The fuel that sustains you on your journey needs to come from within you, deep down, not from some external source. The fuel I'm talking about is like the deep, calm waters at the bottom of a lake. Anger is like the choppy, wavy, wind blown surface.

I mentioned awareness and self-observation in another post. Have you ever once questioned why you got angry? What exactly about whatever happened made you so irritable? Instead of blindly accepting anger as a part of you, have you ever observed it? Just looked at it? Questioned it?

Maybe the anger isn't real. What do I mean by this? I mean, the anger is inside of you and not in reality. It's like this. Let's say you're driving to work and someone cuts you off and get angry. If your anger is as real and as solid as you believe it to be that means I could pick any other person and place them into that exact same situation and they would become angry. But that's not the case. Some people wouldn't give two hoots if someone cut them off, someone might completely blow up, full on road rage. You see?

Where does anger come from or any other negative emotion for that matter. I'm talking about even the slightest bit of irritation. There was this guy at my work and for some reason he got on some people's nerves, he's just the kind of guy something about him bugged you or whatever. You know what I mean. I mean these people really let him get to them and upset their mood and shit. But, the truth is, he doesn't disturb you, you disturb him. There's an old Chinese saying that I remember reading, can't find it right now, but it goes like this, "You are trying to study. You live in a crowded city. A baby begins to cry next door and now you are having trouble studying. A few more moments go by and this baby won't quiet down and now, your not just having trouble studying, but it's really starting to irritate you, kind of piss you off. "Fucking baby, stupid fucking baby," you say. And again, you disturb the noise, the noise doesn't disturb you, like we think it does.

So where does that irritation come from? It comes from within you. It comes from your inflated sense of self. Your inflated ego. For some reason we think the universe owes us something. We think we deserve something. This is where all the trouble starts, we think we're special, we think we're important. You need to knock yourself down a notch and look at the big picture. The universe doesn't care about you. It doesn't give two shits if you live or die. A hungry bear wouldn't think twice about eating you for breakfast. The universe is indifferent. To the universe you are less than a grain of sand. You are to the universe as a cell is to you in your body. Do you mourn for all the cells that die every second to sustain you as an organism? No, you don't. You don't care about that little skin cell or that one little white blood cell, you don't name them, "Oh there goes Billy, fighting my infection I have." In the same way, the universe doesn't care about you.

You can't lose sight of this perspective. I think anger and irritableness comes from the belief that the universe owes us something, that somehow we're special and important, when really, we're no more than dust in the wind.

korinek00
05-13-11, 7:42 pm
After we set our rocks down, the instructors told us our next evolution was breakfast. I heard that and my heart fluttered like a little school girl. My mouth salivated as my mind gave me images of hot food and coffee. We grab out ruck sacks and start walking back along the beach towards HQ. We were all in a good mood awaiting the grub to come and joked and shit, just strolling along the beach as if we had all day. And bam. The coaches weren't having any of that. One of them told us, "If that mom right there pushing a pair of twins in a stroller passes you, you are all so fucked." We picked up the pace accordingly and we're still carrying one of our team mates ruck sacks because he is beat to hell. Then my strap breaks. My heart sank as the mom zoomed by us. "FUCK", I thought, "the fuckin mom just passed us, fuck, shit, fuck." She passed us alright. I wasn't in prime condition to be racing a turtle, let alone this mom from Thundercats plowing this stoller with twins in it through the sand. wtf. We were punished accordingly.

We're back at HQ now and they tell us to change for breakfast. I'm still in my one pair of clothes, but one of the coaches let's me borrow his dry pants so I don't get the public restaurant all dirty. We line up and then an instructor says, "I wanted to eat breakfast, but noooo, you guys had to go and fuck up." Now we're just confused because we don't have any idea what he is talking about. He has us drop and crank out pushups and then Mark comes along. "You guys really messed up, Put your rucks on, full gear, we're going on a forced march." The pictures of food in my mind we're soon replaced with pictures of pain. We headed out and Mark said to keep up. Of course, he took of at a dead sprint. We ran for a couple blocks and then they told us to take off our gear. We followed Mark around the corner into the restaurant. They were just fucking with us, no forced march. haha

The food was AWESOME after 40 some hours of pain and MRE's. They served pancakes called "Manhole sized pancakes". They were literally the size of a manhole. HUGE. Covered that baby up in syrup, heaven on earth. Followed it down with coffee and orange juice and an omelette.

After breakfast, we go back to HQ. This is our last evolution, but we don't know it yet. Mark gives us a lecture on his warrior yoga thing he's come up with and by god, my eyes just wanted to shut and I had killer gas. We were in a small room so farting was out of the question and I had to hold it in, that was worse than the cold water, fuck, lol. After the lecture, he has us do some poses and then we go into "corpse pose", lying down on our backs and closing our eyes. Instantly everyone was asleep. hahaha. I looked over at my buddy and he was OUT. I kept going into little cap naps for about 2 seconds. I'd snap up because I didn't want to fall asleep in the middle of the yoga session, but then it went dark and I must've fallen asleep, lol.

BAM. The coaches came running in, yelling, whistles, water, you name it. Scared the bejeezes out of me. I was in dream land some where. We line up on the grinder and it's just mass chaos again, just like the camp started. Water, pushups, flutter kicks, burpees, more water, yelling, and lots of really cold hose water if I didn't mention that. One of the coaches comes up to me with a cup of water and says, "You want this?" I reply, (thinking he's just gonna toss it in my face like I just saw him do it to the person next to me) "Hell yeah!" and he actually let me drink it. lol They break out the log and we do log PT. Of course, they make it seem like we can't do anything right and have to start over a million times. After a good beating, they say we're going to the beach with our log. We walked a couple of blocks and had us stop and then Mark said these words, "Class 13, you're secured."

Damn. Just like that it was all over. We congratulate each other and then the coaches leave us alone so we can talk to each other and have some alone time as a class. We high five and talk each other up. We all limp and hobble back to HQ and change into dry street clothes. One of the coaches can't believe how fucked up my shoulders and lower back got from the ruck sack. He had to take some pictures, lol. It was BAD. I then smell the grill going. We have a big BBQ with steak and pasta, YUMm. Mark gives us all a black T-shirt that says, "SEALFit, pain is weakness leaving the body". Then it was all over. I crawled back to my hotel room and was out, fast.

korinek00
05-13-11, 7:47 pm
Mark was giving a lecture once and it was about half way through the camp. This is when we started to get really sleepy during the lectures. I had MAD gas from the MRE's. I stand up and stand by the window to keep myself awake and get some fresh air. The room is REALLY small. Well, I thought I could just aim my ass out this window here and sneak out some built up gas I had. One little fart wouldn't hurt, but FUCK. It didn't blow out the window like I thought, but blew IN, right to Mark. He stops lecturing and says, "JESUS, who did that?" I raised my hand and took ownership, I could tell he was a little pissed. I don't blame him, that fart was straight from hell. Anyways, he keeps lecturing and then SOMEONE ELSE farts. BUT FUCK, Mark thinks it was me and now he's REALLY pissed. "PLEASE STOP DOING THAT!" he tells me. and whoever let that one rip didn't fuckin' own up to it. bullshit, lol.

=======================

I'm on my back through Denver to the train station. Really nice weather and my shoes we're soaked anyways from the camp so I had on a pair of flip flops I bought in California. I've got a green olive-colored ruck sack bag with my tan winter coat rolled up strapped onto it. I look like a straight homeless person.I was starving and go to a bar to get a burger. The bartender asks me "How's the weather out (east or west)? (implying I'm some sort of drifter, LOL) I go along with it, "Ahh it's alright, this weather here is nice though." Then he says, after I pay,"Well, stay warm out there." A hobo that pays with a credit card and talks on a cell phone. haha fuckin a.

korinek00
08-20-11, 4:52 pm
I'm at the airport spending the last few moments with my family. The time came for me to walk through security and leave my family behind as I started a new chapter in my life. My flight was on time and a-ok. At the Chicago airport I met up with the group of people I was about to spend the next 2 months with. We piled onto the bus exchanging nervous glances as we anxiously awaited what was about to happen.

We arrived about 10:00 p.m. at Recruit Training Command or RTC Great Lakes. We poured off the bus and into building where we lined up in two ranks across from each other. We each were given a 30 second phone call to tell our parents we were alive and well. The first week of boot camp is called "P-Days" short for "Processing Days". And wow did it suck. haha. It was by far the worst 10 days of the whole experience. We had to take our piss test first thing. You pee in a little bottle and they made us stand in line holding it above our right shoulder. I think I held that thing for damn near an hour, fuck lol. They made us stay up all night sitting in a class room with no air conditioner. No AC + 200 bodies in a small room + 4 a.m. = one hell of a time to stay awake. The next day we got issued shoes, skivvies, got our hair cuts. My memory is so blurry here because we ended up being up for 42 hours and I just remember it being hot and stuffy as fuck in those rooms.

Finally, we get all the initial things out of the way and we make our way to our compartment where we meet our RDC's, short for Recruit Division Commanders. They consist of a Chief and two 1st Class Petty Officers. They tear into us for a bit and make their presence known. They instruct us how to stow our belongings into our rack and label our clothes and items correctly. That was a big thing. Attention to detail and following instructions. After we labeled literally everything I owned now and after 42 hours of no sleep they have us climb into our racks and the sleep over took me nearly instantly...

korinek00
08-31-11, 6:35 pm
The rest was short lived. Our RDC's came crashing in at 3:00 a.m. Screaming "GET THE FUCK UP!" "GET THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR RACKS!" This is how we were woken up damn near the whole time. We always had 2 minutes to put our boots on and be standing on the toe line at attention. The first 10 days or so was nothing but stand in line, at attention, in a hot fucking room. I've never just "stood" so much in my life. We got our eyes checked and our shot in the ass that had us "wannabe" SEALs limping out of the room like we had all just been horribly violated. Every little medical thing had to get cleared first before we could become FFD or Fit for Full Duty. We already lost 2 guys due to some sort of eye condition the eye doctors found. Those first few days were nerve wrecking as our fate was still up in the air. We became FFD right before a holiday weekend which meant 4 days for the RDC's to have a little fun.

Those 4 days were rough. If we weren't getting beat doing 4 count jumping jacks, on our backs holding our feet at 6 inches in steel toe boots, holding the pushup position until our RDC's got tired then we were doing bunk and locker drills. A.K.A. Making our racks. For an upcoming inspection we had to make our racks in 12 minutes with 45 degree angles on the sheets, our pillows zipper down and facing a certain direction, our top sheet folded back a notebook width away from the edge of the mattress, our blanket had to be folded a certain way placed at the foot end of our racks. Attention to detail. They hammered that shit. We worked on marching a bit and people in the Divison got assigned jobs. 2 people tried to quit but the Chief wouldn't let them.

I just remember P-Days easily being the worst part. Standing all day, in lines, at attention, in hot rooms, just waiting...and waiting your turn. Fuckin-a. But soon we were to start Week 1 of training and actually have some scheduled classroom time, inspections, and events rather than than having "RDC Time" which pretty much meant holding the pushup position.

korinek00
09-01-11, 5:40 pm
We took our PST for our contract around this time and then not long after our PFA for the Navy. Our days were scheduled from the time we woke up to the time we went to bed. We learned how to stand "watch". This person would stand in front of the main door, salute and "sound off" everytime a Petty Officer or Chief etc. came in. This person also had the responsibility of the "Deck Log". The deck log was a piece of paper that the watch had to record all of the days events, the time it happened, and it had to be neat. If you mis-spelled a word there were proper procedures to fix it. In our RDC's eyes, fucking up this deck log was the end of the world. If you so much as missed a period, they would get in your face, throw the clip board across the room and make your ass drop. As a division, we were graded on everything we did: inspections, how clean the compartment was, the deck log, tests. If FQA (I don't know what this stands for but they would come in and try to find shit fucked up to give your division "compartment hits" that lower your divisional score), well these guys could walk in at any time and check the deck log or the head or the laundry room. The first thing they would check would be the deck log and it soon became apparent that only a select group of people competent enough would run it. Lucky me, 4 hour watches every day or every other day became the norm. Shit sucked.

By this time almost everyone including myself was sicker than a dog. I think we had around 70 people in our division and with so many different people from all over the U.S. we must've created a new strain of something. Our lungs and sinuses were packed full of fucking crud, I hadn't been sick in years prior to boot camp. I can't remember the name, but some sort of pink eye shit started going around. I think the guy got it from the pool. Well, I got it. I would wake up and my eyes would be so matted shut from gunk and when I would open them, I felt like that horror movie where the guys eye lids are sewn shut. This shit really sucked. My one eye was pink, itchy, it would be only half open and it would ooze shit all day long. Then some sort of flu started going around. At one point I had this eye shit, my sinuses and lungs were clogged, and the flu and then had to run a 4 mile timed run at 5:30 in the morning. LOL I could talk about the galley food too. Fuck. Here I was eating sweet potatoes, beef, veggies, and fruit hardly allowing myself so much as a cookie once a week. Then I have to start eating this shit and my insides would explode out of me every morning until my body started adapting to the processed, sodium injected junk food. Before bootcamp I wouldn't touch this shit with a ten foot pole and now, literally over night, I had to eat 3 squares of it a day. Talk about change.

korinek00
11-06-11, 1:20 pm
Stopping in quick. Still alive and on the grind. 2 weeks down in BUD/s. Coming up on Week 3 this monday. Started with 175. Down to 100'ish. Hellweek is a week away. Body is beatdown a bit but overall no sprains, shinsplints or tears. Good to go and ready to tear into Week 3.

korinek00
11-19-11, 8:02 pm
Just finished Hellweek this week. Started with 102 and secured with 57.

What a wild ride. Fuck. lol