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moreofme2kill
06-23-10, 11:55 pm
so i may as well too. i originally planned on starting this out as just a plain and simple journey, but i am far less serious and love to joke around as well as run off on tangents about life in general. so out of respect of the serious journey walkers, i will humbly reside here amongst the "umadbrah"-esque types, where i feel more comfortable and truly belong.

so as ive stated before, im a newcomer to this lifestyle. mine for the past 13 years or so has consisted of the loud, fast and fuck you approach, which is still there, just with far less beligerance and fuck yous due to my ever growing age and plain simply being tired of fighting. ive mostly given up my only vice, beer. i rarely have one a month it seems, and going from a 12 pack a day diet, its been rough. i learned not to drink booze due to several instances involving fights, police and jail, in no particular order. it just flat out makes me mean, but only for the sheer fact that i drank it at the same pace as i would beers, and my body just couldnt hang. i would lose myself. shit happens, but if you can avoid shitting your pants, you generally choose that result, so i quit. ive never really experimented with drugs because of my knowledge of my own addictive personality. i was smarter than that. i knew that one good go i would be hooked, and i have lost to many friends to that stuff. i have smoked pot, few havent, it just wasnt for me, made me to tired. so i stuck to drinking.

as far as my working out got started, i was just sick and tired of being sick and tired. i have a great frame, in my opinion, to build some serious mass. i am a natural endo morph and look sickly at any weight under 200 lbs. its been some years since i was, but i did get in shape a few times to that extent and my mother refused to speak to me cause she swore i was gackin. well january rolled around this year, no it wasnt a new years resolution because i feel those are just open invitations for failure, and i was supposed to be getting whooped into shape by my at the time close friend who was a former bodyduilder, and still in amazing shape. well that friendship sadly went south, and i decided to take the initiative and stop copping out and just join a gym myself. i basicly walked into the gym and threw myself to the wolves. ive never been very athletic, i was always more into music and motors. so i started out way to hard, and tried living off of protien bars and all the crap that the big magazines portray you to need. i was not happy. but i held fast, and stayed on it religiously. i started meeting people in the gym, which meeting people at all is a tremendous hurdle because i mostly dont like anyone, and started getting pointers and tips from the guys who had been in it the longest. i started changing my diet, eating frequently, and cleaner. then i made another big move, i approached two young kids to let me train with them. we were definitely a sight to see in the gym, haha, the disgruntled overweight tattooed white guy with the natural born mean mug, and two tall extremely cut and in shape black kids, basketball players, and we trained 5 days a week together for a few months up until i moved about a month and some days ago. i miss workin out with them. i had 8 years on them in age, and they were stronger, but i ran them ragged every fuckin day and they always gave up before me. it was great times. so i moved, and again am working out alone. the only advantage is that at least now i am amazingly stronger, and i know my way around a gym and my workouts.

today i worked out my shoulders. i am currently running a 5 day split m-chest t-back w-shoulders t-arms and f-legs, and it is working good for me. i generally lift for an hour and a half or so, and will walk on the mill for a half hour if im feeling it. on the weekends is when i usually do my more cardio type excercise. ill go climb a mountain or something, ride a bike, basketball etc.

so we have an ABC gtg coming up not this sat but next, and ill be honest, im stoked but nervous. i know its not a competiition, but being a kid that grew up fast and hard with some badass mf's i hold my pride very true to myself and seriously. its not that i have an ego complex or problem, i just wanna be as good as everyone else at something like this. i know i will be eventually, i can feel it, but patience isnt one of my virtues.

i live my life with no remorse, no regrets. ive done some bad shit, but i have learned from it all, and i regret nothing because it made me who i am today. i am by no means a bad ass, but i handle my own and would gladly die on my feet before i lived a single breath on my knees. take me as i am, for thats all you get. by this time im sure the reader i got from posting this has long fallen asleep, but thats ok, this is for me. time to check my emails, and ill continue in another installment. end transmission.

moreofme2kill
06-24-10, 12:22 am
i think one of the major reasons i decided to lift weights and build my temple was because i had an emptiness that i was trying to fill with beer and food, so i wanted to fill it with positivity and health. but it has not filled that void. im not sure what that emptiness needs. but the lifting has shifted more into an all out war waged daily on my body, my mind and my will. it sounds so cliche, but pushing myself past my limits to the utter point of breakdown has become an obsession. a drug. a sadistic form of self loathing, haha. its obvious why most people do this, to impress girls. but not this guy. i have a truly alterior motive. no bs, when i get home from the lab, i shower, i eat, and then im ready to go back. the recovery period has truly been the hardest aspect of this for me. but thats where the willpower and restraint come into play and it becomes more of a mental battle on so many levels. do i hate myself? not necessarily. but i am never satisfied, with anything. a very wise individual by the name of jamey jasta once said that "satisfaction is the death of desire", and this has been one of many mantras i have chosen to live my life by for many many years.

on the other hand the positives shine through quite clearly. i am loving the increase in muscle and strength, and best of all i get to eat all the time!!! i am a foodie. i live to eat, not eat to live. i love trying new things, and will not turn down anything to an initial try, as long as it doesnt contain nuts as i am allergic. but ive eaten it all, guts, feet, brains, etc. and loved every mouthful. well, most. haha. speaking of that, it is time for more meat and rice.

moreofme2kill
06-24-10, 1:54 am
i love this shit


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AHb4gs1hwck&feature=related

moreofme2kill
06-26-10, 3:05 am
i trained legs today as usual for a friday today, and i have to say im quite pleased with the progress i have made so far as it appears to me that my legs have actually shrunk a little, but the strength is there, so thats all that matters. i got there at my usual time, and the squat rack was in use so i figured fuck it ill start with the leg press instead of doing it second to the squats. well being that my legs werent burned out from squatting, i ended up hitting a presonal best of 16 plates for five reps. i could have added more and found my one rep max, but my hips started hurting, and thats when i pull the plug on heavy lifts. im quite stoked, 720lbs. not including the sled. didnt know if you include that as you would the bar when when bench pressing for example. progress has been made.


today was also one of my 2 weekly cheat meals, so i decided to go to japanese food and celebrate my mini milestone. i ordered the special which included unagi don (eel and rice) and a large bowl of udon (noodle soup), and i destroyed it. im sure it was a bit overkill on carbs and sodium, but who cares, it was worth it.



i was watching tube today after my session, and something really got my gears turnin in the old brain. the program was about the black p stone nation and their leader. well the leader, jeff fort, went to the joint for 4 years. he went in 140lbs soaking wet, and came out a solid 180+lbs of muscle. the dude was yoked. not super cut up, but looked like an offseason amateur body builder. now this is obviously before they removed weights from most federal institutions in the late 90's, but here is the question that comes to mind: how did these guys get so big on such a limited diet? i mean they got three meager meals a day, no supps or vitamins, none of the stuff we have access to. and it cant all be genetics, i refuse to believe they were all from the same gene pool, haha. just makes me wonder because of the amount of food we consume, with all the perks, yet they did it with nothing. i mean just look at tookie williams. its impressive.

moreofme2kill
06-28-10, 4:13 am
last few days been mellow. weekends are usually spent repairing body and mind. mostly mind this weekend. been in a funk lately. its not so much that im a cynic, im just a realist that takes shit for what it is, and to be honest not much makes me smile anymore. there is just a trivial sense of self deception derived from trying to be positive all the time. the past few years of my life have been rough emotionally and mentally on me, and stress has taken its toll in the same ways, as well as physically. gettin the physical part in check, or trying to, but sometimes i just dont see the point. tomorrow is chest day which i always look forward to, so tomorrow should be a good day.


i also got my protiens for the week, which i will be grilling up tomorrow, and i enjoy cooking. picked up a good amount of steak, and a couple 5 pound packages of chicken leg quarters as that was what was on sale this time.


all of my favorite teams have now been eliminated from the world cup, as England and Mexico both lost today. overall its been a pretty decent cup excluding a few horrendous calls and mistakes by a few goal keepers and defenders. its great inspiration to see guys play their hearts out even in the face of a 3-0 defecit, that meager shred of hope is really something deep. maybe one of these go arounds the US will win the cup, but even if they dont its a truly epic experience and unites the world in a way nothing else does. i dont even feel the olympics involves the same type of unity and comradery amongst fans and spectators. it seems to be directed more towards the atheletes and geared to a higher ranking social class, where as soccer truly is the working mans sport. i hope to attend a world cup someday.

moreofme2kill
06-29-10, 1:53 am
another day comin to an end. seems like life is flyin by, days in dog years. had a mellow workout in the lab today. did chest, but took it fairly easy due to the ABC event this saturday in which we will be working chest again and i want to finally go for my one rep max. all was goin well, but then something odd happened during my last set of pullovers. i pulled the weight up and forward as i have countless times, and during my squeeze something in my right lower rib caged popped, loud enough for me to hear it as well as feel it. and now it hurts, not unbearably, but just annoying enough to know somethings wrong and will be worse in the morning. anyone have any ideas what that may have been? has it happened to anyone? i highly doubt i cracked a rib, but the last time i had my ribs cracked in a fight it emitted a very similar sound. any input would be appreciated. should be interesting to see it will feel like tomorrow.


i havent been as thirsty lately which has been odd as its been hot. been having to force the water down, and usually i drink like a horse. you would think that in the hotter weather i would be drinking more.


another birthday is coming up. its gotta be my least favorite time of the year. im just feelin so fuckin old. i can remember layin in bed as a kid wishin i was 13, then 18, then 21, and ever since i really havent had anything to look forward to, and life just passes by so much faster. they say lifes wasted on the living, and im trying to change that around.

moreofme2kill
06-30-10, 1:22 am
fuck the reaper, this life is for the keeping, youngbloods just keep on screaming!

moreofme2kill
07-01-10, 1:45 am
another day finished. worked shoulders today, and had a pretty good workout. i feel that my shoulders are one of my weaker spots that could use the most work, so i always look forward to improving them. some of the exercises are difficult to perform, or i just cant do them period, as i have had a rotator cuff surgery on my left shoulder. it pops, crunches and puts up a fight with most lifts. my strength is goin up, but not nearly as rapidly as with other body parts. im just doin my best to be patient and not over do it. baby steps.

moreofme2kill
07-02-10, 7:45 pm
last couple days have been pretty boring. havent done anything but cardio because i wanna be in top form for this saturday. im hoping to have some personal bests, if not i will have given it my all and will come back for more.

i also decided that its time to attempt my first "cut" if you will. im not doin anything hardcore, just cutting carbs back, except for my morning oats. i will also be shooting for 2-3 light cardio sessions throughout the day, as right now im not doing any. im lookin to lose about 20lbs or so from my gut and chest. if i feel i am losing muscle mass and/or strength i will stop. im more concerned with being strong than cute, but it wouldnt hurt to shed some of the baggage. if anyone has any positive tips, that would be cool.


ive noticed that people are opening this, but noone has had anything to say. if you do, dont be shy. im not here looking for approval, but any constructive criticisms would help me out.

moreofme2kill
07-04-10, 11:13 pm
we had our meet yesterday, and i was pretty disappointed in myself. stayin positive after something like that is difficult for me to do. i really felt i had more on me, but it physically wasnt there. i was doing a squat at 315, went too deep and failed. went for my bench max, only hit 225, and it was a real slow sloppy lift. went for a 405 dead, had it up past the hardest part, but just couldnt lock it out, and failed again. i keep trying to re-assusure myself that i have only been lifting 6 months, and shit doesnt come over night, but its not fuckin good enough. at all. after the lifts attempts were done, that rib problem ive been complaining of really started to hurt. im leaning towards the side of a hernia. i dont know how to fix this, so im just gonna rest for a bit. it didnt hurt quite as bad today. it was fun hangin out with the other guys, and i look forward to doing it again real soon, but my personal performance needs to improve.


last night while i was resting i watched Bigger, Faster, Stronger, as one of the guys at the ABC had mentioned it during dinner, and i just happened upon it on the online dvd i have from netflix. if you havent seen this i highly recommend it as it is a well made documentary. but beware.... it is a true glory stomper. it completely depleted my motivation and hope for doing this without the gear. it gave me a lot to think about, and pretty much set in stone that what i am expecting of myself is completely rediculous. i really feel now more than ever that i am getting started in this way too late, and i am truly never gonna become what i see myself becoming in my minds eye. does this mean i am giving up? never. but it has made me re-evaluate my overall goals, and expectations.


overall been an eye opening weekend. pretty much just feel like goin to bed for a week. my morale is crushed. hopefully the fireworks wont be goin on too late so i can get some rest. tomorrow is a new day and a new week, hopefully things will get better.

Cstlfx
07-04-10, 11:41 pm
I hear ya man! Just had my meet the weekend before and I got no where near what I wanted.

The trick is to use that crushed feeling and punish yourself in the gym so you'll come back twice as strong as next time! You're all ready there and will clearly be back for more. That attitude of "that wasnt anywhere near good enough or what I'm able to do" goes well with powerlifting.

Considering you've been lifting for 6 months, thats pretty damn good. Its tough to go from nothing to learning all the rules and having a good enough form to compete.

Hope the rib heals soon so you can get back in the gym!

moreofme2kill
07-04-10, 11:57 pm
right on bro, little words of encouragement go a long way, and i appreciate that.

moreofme2kill
07-05-10, 6:20 pm
fuck. thats all i can say. goin to the gym and not pickin up a weight is torture. i decided that since i pulled that muscle in my gut, im gonna take a week off and try to heal. it will be the first rest i have taken since i got started, and to be honest if i wasnt hurt i wouldnt be resting.


so i have some questions on my cardio regiment, and would like some feed back if possible. what i have been doin the last 2 sessions is this:
4x5 min circuits on the eliptical, with 1 minute rests in between
2x10 min circuits on the upright bike

thats a total of 40 minutes of cardio. mind you im big, so im not goin balls to the walls the whole time, but trying to keep my heart rate in between cardio and fat burn. any comments? suggestions?

Cstlfx
07-05-10, 7:04 pm
How big is big? Are you in the SHW area, or are you overweight?


I've heard a lot of good things about cardio interval training. Try it out and see how it works for you, unless you're pushing it too hard, or not heard enough, cardio is good for you anyway.

Are you doing 5 minutes and then stopping for each set? Or are you doing 5 minutes and then backing it down to a "resting" speed?

moreofme2kill
07-06-10, 1:54 am
How big is big? Are you in the SHW area, or are you overweight?


I've heard a lot of good things about cardio interval training. Try it out and see how it works for you, unless you're pushing it too hard, or not heard enough, cardio is good for you anyway.

Are you doing 5 minutes and then stopping for each set? Or are you doing 5 minutes and then backing it down to a "resting" speed?

im 5'10 250 lbs, i think im a fat ass, but its mostly in my stomach area. most people think i weigh 225 or so.

im doin it for five minutes then resting for a minute meaning stopping and walking around the gym, getting some water, etc. but i never stop moving.

moreofme2kill
07-06-10, 1:59 am
was gonna shoot some hoops tonight, but the lights werent on at the fuckin courts. im gonna try and run some before i eat breakfast in the morning, but im not sure if 2 cardio sessions is too much. i wont be lifting, so i think it should be ok, besides my fat ass cant really run that far or fast anyways. im just afraid ill burn up my hard earned muscle mass ive gained. i just feel like if im doing nothing its wasting away, so im kinda of confused.

even after just one day without carbs except for at breakfast im already noticing that certain hunger in the bottom of my stomach that chicken wont fill, haha. i can only imagine what its goin to escalate into in the next coming days and weeks.

moreofme2kill
07-06-10, 4:23 pm
who ever invented the eliptical machine needs to be drawn and quartered. that is all.

Bob
07-06-10, 4:31 pm
we had our meet yesterday, and i was pretty disappointed in myself. stayin positive after something like that is difficult for me to do. i really felt i had more on me, but it physically wasnt there. i was doing a squat at 315, went too deep and failed. went for my bench max, only hit 225, and it was a real slow sloppy lift. went for a 405 dead, had it up past the hardest part, but just couldnt lock it out, and failed again. i keep trying to re-assusure myself that i have only been lifting 6 months, and shit doesnt come over night, but its not fuckin good enough. at all. after the lifts attempts were done, that rib problem ive been complaining of really started to hurt. im leaning towards the side of a hernia. i dont know how to fix this, so im just gonna rest for a bit. it didnt hurt quite as bad today. it was fun hangin out with the other guys, and i look forward to doing it again real soon, but my personal performance needs to improve.


last night while i was resting i watched Bigger, Faster, Stronger, as one of the guys at the ABC had mentioned it during dinner, and i just happened upon it on the online dvd i have from netflix. if you havent seen this i highly recommend it as it is a well made documentary. but beware.... it is a true glory stomper. it completely depleted my motivation and hope for doing this without the gear. it gave me a lot to think about, and pretty much set in stone that what i am expecting of myself is completely rediculous. i really feel now more than ever that i am getting started in this way too late, and i am truly never gonna become what i see myself becoming in my minds eye. does this mean i am giving up? never. but it has made me re-evaluate my overall goals, and expectations.


overall been an eye opening weekend. pretty much just feel like goin to bed for a week. my morale is crushed. hopefully the fireworks wont be goin on too late so i can get some rest. tomorrow is a new day and a new week, hopefully things will get better.

Give it time bro. Stay hungry, consistent and dedicated and those weights will come up for you. Good luck.

JustJ
07-06-10, 6:02 pm
Just hang tough,like NKOTB. You're bein too hard on yourself. I've been lifting for 4 years now and have a terrible bench and small shoulders and arms. It takes time. You obviously have the frame for it and with what you're lifting for only doing this 6 months should be motivation. I'd look at it like "if I'm lifting this after 6 months,think of where I'll be a few years from now."

moreofme2kill
07-06-10, 7:36 pm
Just hang tough,like NKOTB. You're bein too hard on yourself. I've been lifting for 4 years now and have a terrible bench and small shoulders and arms. It takes time. You obviously have the frame for it and with what you're lifting for only doing this 6 months should be motivation. I'd look at it like "if I'm lifting this after 6 months,think of where I'll be a few years from now."

i know, but if im not hard on myself who will be? the only one thats gonna push me and be 100% brutally honest is me. youve been a big help though j, and i thank you.


Give it time bro. Stay hungry, consistent and dedicated and those weights will come up for you. Good luck.

thanks bob, im doin what i can, and i really appreciate the words of encouragement.

moreofme2kill
07-06-10, 7:36 pm
i couldnt figure what "NKOTB" stood for, so i had to google it, haha. thats some funny ass shit.

moreofme2kill
07-07-10, 3:55 pm
so ive decided to join the ranks of the rest of the sheep in the herd and made a facebook. if anyone wants to hit me up and join the adventure, please do.

http://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100001202709304#!/?ref=home

moreofme2kill
07-08-10, 12:04 am
ive been finding the food channel to be harder and harder to watch lately. mind you this is close to the only thing i watch except for the travel channel shows, about food haha. even commercials for shit, or shit people are cooking that i normally wouldnt wanna eat is lookin good. i definitely preferred the eat anything clean aspect over this current diet im trying, but the results are coming along ok. i havent weighed myself, but im feeling slimmer, haha. its weird how you can kind of feel weight loss on the inside, like an empty dull drumming, even after you eat its still there. at least in a few more days ill be able to hit the weights again, that will make me feel better. i was reading up on "the anabolic diet" and what im doin is fairly close to that, except i have a 1/2 cup of oats in the am, and i havent given up milk. i just dont see that happening. i also dont see myself going on carb binges on the weekend. im gonna try and keep this pretty steady the way it is all week long. the cardio seems to be getting easier as well so im going to try and take one less "pause" in my eliptical sets tomorrow. that would mean go for 5 mins, rest, 5 mins, rest, then 10 mins, rest. should be interesting. also helped having world cup to watch, but now thats pretty much over till sunday.

i need to get me a new ipod. mine took a shit a couple months back after many years of faithful service. so im pretty much stuck listening to the techno, top 40, teeny bopper, auto tuned nonsense that plagues the airwaves of my labratory. not to mention the loud obnoxious fucks who deem it their personal responsibility and duty to air their dirty laundry about so and sos baby mama drama and other whatnots. i long for the days of my audible sanctuary, a personal soundtrack that suits the current pains and struggles i am enduring at said moment. i mostly find this helpful during cardio as i have a few certain songs that have the perfect grinding pace that fits perfectly in sync with my level of self destruction. what ive actually been trying to do is find an unused iphone that has been set aside for something newer, and just load my tracks onto that. but if anything i'll just break down and purchase a new nano. they are fairly affordable these days.


my pulled muscle has been feeling better as of late, but i can still notice its there. ill just have to refrain from doin the movements that i feel will aggravate it further. sucks though because that includes deadlifts, or at least with any substantial weight. and pullovers, as thats where i first aquired this blasted setback. but im chompin at the bit to just lift something.

JustJ
07-08-10, 12:43 am
Big phillie style,let's hit the gym next week..I can go to yours or whatever

moreofme2kill
07-08-10, 2:38 am
i could get into that son! nah, we'll hit ur spot, its more luxurious, and i can hit the sauna.

JustJ
07-08-10, 12:50 pm
i could get into that son! nah, we'll hit ur spot, its more luxurious, and i can hit the sauna.

Haha for sure. Make sure you bring sunglasses so the other dudes can't tell you're looking at them. And I still got those guest passes.

Cstlfx
07-08-10, 3:08 pm
I hear you with the crappy music. The staff at my gym only knows how to switch between the 4 programed stations, so they cant switch the satellite radio to any other stations. My ipod shuffle recently crapped out (the good one too, not the crappy new 4th gen). Long story short, ended up buying one of those sansa clips for dirt cheap. Just as good and now I really dont care if it gets crushed. If I dropped a weight on a $100 nano I would shoot myself in the foot. Haha.

Its good to hear the muscle is doing better. Stick with the healing process. Are you doing anything for it? Contrast showers, rolling, etc? I can say from experience that contrast showers work (even better if you have contrast baths hot and ice).

moreofme2kill
07-08-10, 3:45 pm
contrast shower?! sounds erotic, haha. nah, i just been not doin anything at all, and that seems to be the trick so far. they have those foam rollers at my lab, so i may give one a roll today. be back later for more nonsense and ramblings of anger, frustration and pain. thanks for supporting me readers!!!

JustJ
07-09-10, 5:07 am
I think you should do the powerlifting meet with me in November. You've got almost 4 months to train,and you don't have to do all 3 lifts if you don't want. We could split gas and room,and eat buffet after weigh-ins the night before.

moreofme2kill
07-09-10, 4:34 pm
I think you should do the powerlifting meet with me in November. You've got almost 4 months to train,and you don't have to do all 3 lifts if you don't want. We could split gas and room,and eat buffet after weigh-ins the night before.

well since you brought this up, i have something to say that ive had to think about for a while now, and its come to this. im goin to have to give lifting up for a while. its purely financial. having a truck note, bike note, insurance, food, phone, gym, all the basic bills, and no steady income for the past 6 months, im officially financially tapped out. my life has been full of shit the past few years, not making excuses, but ive been dealt a bad hand and have coped with it the best i can. in the past few months ive lost my house, yet again, my bulldog who was my best friend, now the bike and truck are going. im just wiped out. so its gonna be top ramen and pushups for me till i get back on my feet. its time like these when my old enemy alcohol starts knockin on my door with propositions of happiness and comfort, but this door is fuckin locked! i hope when you guys are reading this that you dont just think that im a lazy fuck, because thats not the case. then again, you are entitled to your opinion and thats honestly the least of my concerns right now. im not givin up on my goals, i know i have the potential, its just gotta take a back seat because i cant afford to eat to grow, i have to eat to survive.

JustJ
07-09-10, 4:48 pm
well since you brought this up, i have something to say that ive had to think about for a while now, and its come to this. im goin to have to give lifting up for a while. its purely financial. having a truck note, bike note, insurance, food, phone, gym, all the basic bills, and no steady income for the past 6 months, im officially financially tapped out. my life has been full of shit the past few years, not making excuses, but ive been dealt a bad hand and have coped with it the best i can. in the past few months ive lost my house, yet again, my bulldog who was my best friend, now the bike and truck are going. im just wiped out. so its gonna be top ramen and pushups for me till i get back on my feet. its time like these when my old enemy alcohol starts knockin on my door with propositions of happiness and comfort, but this door is fuckin locked! i hope when you guys are reading this that you dont just think that im a lazy fuck, because thats not the case. then again, you are entitled to your opinion and thats honestly the least of my concerns right now. im not givin up on my goals, i know i have the potential, its just gotta take a back seat because i cant afford to eat to grow, i have to eat to survive.

Damn man,I'm really sorry to hear that. But I understand. Sometimes life fucks you hard and you have to put other things to the side.

moreofme2kill
07-09-10, 9:57 pm
yeah i guess.

moreofme2kill
07-10-10, 12:23 am
tandoori chicken and cucumber yogurt salad. ftw.

mcbeast
07-10-10, 12:35 am
Listen brotha, I am sure you have heard this a million times, but I will post it up anyway.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V1tXhJniSEc&feature=related

Every word of this is true.

Right now is a perfect time for the slacking to come in to play, and when things like alcohol come knocking on your door. Im glad to hear that that door is locked. If you are truly dedicated to the iron, and towards constantly bettering yourself you already know what you need to do. So, ditch all the bullshit in your life. Get ahold of your bills, and everything that is hindering your progress, in and outside of the gym. . The only way to get back on your feet is hard work. Remember, your future is what you make of it brotha.

Btw, Im really sorry to hear about your dog. I too have been forced to give up some companions along the road. It is really hard.

moreofme2kill
07-10-10, 12:51 am
right on, i really appreciate the encouragement of you and Sensei Balboa, shit never gets old! im workin on it. today after my cardio session i came home and made a list of all the shit i need to do to get back on track. im a stubborn fuck. i dont give up easily, and wont die defeated. im gonna make the necessary changes i need to and hopefully within the next month i'll be back on track. even though im not goin to be able to keep my diet up to par, im not gonna stop working out and conditioning myself. its not that i feel sorry for myself by any means, its just that after shit goin wrong for so long you start to think that thats the way shits meant to be. im fuckin tryin, and thanks to people like you the struggle gets just that much easier.

mcbeast
07-10-10, 12:53 am
Diet=Overrated. Not gonna bullshit you, I dont eat like 1/10 of the guys on here. I get in solid food when I can, and I enjoy life. My bodyfat is within Army Standards, and I lift like there is no tommorow. You will be fine, haha. Good luck with everything man.

moreofme2kill
07-10-10, 2:02 pm
fuckin eggs and oatmeal son. oatmeal is better than no meal.

moreofme2kill
07-12-10, 3:58 am
im so glad this week is fuckin over. not bein able to do what i wanna do has been driving me fuckin crazy. so tomorrow i head back into the lab. my mind is as clear as its gonna be, and my pulled muscle feels decent. fuck it. i have one month left on my gym membership, im gonna use it up. alot of people have been asking me about my recent post about giving up lifting. i just wanna set the record straight that i never said i was quitting. i just need to put it a few steps lower on my priorities. i am mostly giving up on the clean food only mentality and gonna eat what i can get my hands on. and if for some reason im still not able to get my shit straight and pay my gym membership, then ill have to resort to body weight movements and ghetto lifting. as long as im doin something and gettin it in somehow, its all to the good. the sooner my shits gets straight the sooner i can get back on track, and actually introduce some supps and other goodies into my routine. so now that the air is cleared, we can move forward. or at least i will.


the world cup final fuckin sucked. thats all im gonna say about that.


so i was flippin through the tube yesterday and stumbled upon a channel called "FIT TV". let me just say that this is the biggest crock of shit channel i have ever seen. talk about mass media brainwashing on the necessity to be thin and weak. this type of bullshit is the foundation of garbage that teaches people young and old that the only way you can be and are healthy is if you live off twigs and berries, red meat is the devil, fat becomes and evil swear word, yoga and hippies run rampant, and its is plagued by commercials for garbage thermogenics with bloated and airbrushed fitness models who for some reason got big and instantly dropped the lbs with their snake oil. i mean fuck. no wonder the nation is obese. needless to say i will be avoiding this channel and sticking to food tv.


final thought of the evening: dont feel bad, more than half of the people you know are below average.

moreofme2kill
07-12-10, 4:14 am
i just realized how many spelling errors i made, and it wont let me edit them. lame.

mcbeast
07-12-10, 11:49 am
im so glad this week is fuckin over. not bein able to do what i wanna do has been driving me fuckin crazy. so tomorrow i head back into the lab. my mind is as clear as its gonna be, and my pulled muscle feels decent. fuck it. i have one month left on my gym membership, im gonna use it up. alot of people have been asking me about my recent post about giving up lifting. i just wanna set the record straight that i never said i was quitting. i just need to put it a few steps lower on my priorities. i am mostly giving up on the clean food only mentality and gonna eat what i can get my hands on. and if for some reason im still not able to get my shit straight and pay my gym membership, then ill have to resort to body weight movements and ghetto lifting. as long as im doin something and gettin it in somehow, its all to the good. the sooner my shits gets straight the sooner i can get back on track, and actually introduce some supps and other goodies into my routine. so now that the air is cleared, we can move forward. or at least i will.


the world cup final fuckin sucked. thats all im gonna say about that.


so i was flippin through the tube yesterday and stumbled upon a channel called "FIT TV". let me just say that this is the biggest crock of shit channel i have ever seen. talk about mass media brainwashing on the necessity to be thin and weak. this type of bullshit is the foundation of garbage that teaches people young and old that the only way you can be and are healthy is if you live off twigs and berries, red meat is the devil, fat becomes and evil swear word, yoga and hippies run rampant, and its is plagued by commercials for garbage thermogenics with bloated and airbrushed fitness models who for some reason got big and instantly dropped the lbs with their snake oil. i mean fuck. no wonder the nation is obese. needless to say i will be avoiding this channel and sticking to food tv.


final thought of the evening: dont feel bad, more than half of the people you know are below average.

Good post! Glad to see your not going down without a fight. Get your hands on whatever food you can. You will be fine. Fittv huh? Like globogym? Haha. I like berries..and red meat!

alphagrrrrl
07-12-10, 2:09 pm
Good luck with everything Philip. You definitely have the determination to get through this tough time and you're gonna come back even stronger. Keep your head up.

moreofme2kill
07-12-10, 3:37 pm
i feel oh so blessed and priveleged to have the almighty alphagrowl on my thread, i am humbled. thanks guys. ill have more nonsense to report later today of my triumphs and spoils of war from this episode in the lab.


on another note, R.I.P Harvey Pekar. America will surely miss your Splender.

tazz
07-13-10, 8:53 pm
You are a hard as worker bro. Keepto it man cu I've been working out for 5 years and havnt gained much size. But becuase of the people I had motivating me and the workouts I was doing I grew in strength in ways I couldn't believe. It sucks now becuase my life has done a complete 180 and there's times where I can't workout as much as I want to or when I want to. But when I do it's a struggle to not throw up or pass out. But it feels good the next day when I can barely move I'm so fuckin sore. Brother If I was near you I would workout with you and try to be the motivating asshole that will make u push when u don't think you can't. Like you I workout alone and it gets hard at times. But I've grown used to it and like it now. I go at my own pace which is at full speed and listen to some music. I wish you the best of luck and keep it up brother.

moreofme2kill
07-14-10, 4:00 am
right on man, thank you for the support! it truly is something one can never get enough of! thank you.


So yesterday i hit the weights again. it was like coming home from a long one week on the road. i started out with flat bench because i wanted to switch my routine up from starting with incline for a bit. i was amazed at how strong i felt. rest really helped. i was able to put up 225 4 times, with the spotter only barely fingering the bar on the last rep. when i laid on the bench i told him i was only gonna go for one rep, but it felt right, so i smashed on it. was a great feeling. this was after i warmed up, and did lifts at 185 and 205. after i hit the 225 i dropped back down to 135 and burned it out. great set. then i headed over to the incline. went from 135 up to 185, but could only hit 2 reps on 185. i was pretty worn. dropped it back down to 135 and burned it out. another great set. i skipped the pullovers, as this was the movement that i pulled my muscle with, so i figured i would let that rest some more. did my normal 4 sets of db flys. i do mine starting at level 4 on an incline bench, and every set i drop it a level lower and up the weight. i finished with 4 sets of cable flies. by this time my breasts were on fire son! i went and did 15 mins on the eliptical and called it a day. i was beat. and today im sore, which i love. i havent been getting sore in a while, and to me i feel that if im not sore, im not growing. all in all a very good session.


today was back day in the lab. i figured since i hit it pretty hard yesterday on chest that i would take it a little easier. started out with deads. dont really know how many sets i did because thats not important to me, and i dont usually count reps. i just go for feel. only thing i keep track of is weights. i started out with stretches at 135. i worked my way up to 275, and compensated the lack of weight with higher reps. dropped the weight back down to 135 and finished it off. i also tried something new when i was at 275 that i read about on here, where you lift the weight and just hold it. i held it for about 30 seconds, got a nice burn. then i went into some tbar rows. worked my way up to 3 plates, then back down to 1. then i did some lat pull downs, wide and narrow grip, and some rows. finished off with some good mornings. i am fuckin beat. and i love it. tomorrow is shoulder day and gonna work out with my good friend J-MACK at his posh resort of a gym. should be good times. starting out to be a good week.

moreofme2kill
07-14-10, 3:14 pm
so i woke up today ready to tear down the very fiber that constitutes the existence of the universe. the kind of action that can only be done by one who has truly experienced trials and tribulations. i did not sleep that great, but i feel reborn. reborn in a sense that today is the first day of the rest of my life. i always say that life is wasted on the living, and today i am living. for so long now i have felt that i have been just existing, not truly living. i dont know what happened in those few hours of sleep to apyphonize this, but i have a clear sense of purpose. one not directed towards anything other than the betterment of myself. the battles have been going on for some time now, but this is a turning point in the war. the place where sacrifice to meet the overall good of ones cause seems meaningless. what am i truly saccrificing? blood? sweat? tears? yes. but those are all renewable resources of my evergrowing temple, and whos one purpose is to be shed. physically, as well as mentally, emotionally and spiritually. i am not immortal, but the day i stop living as though i am is the day i have truly died.

JustJ
07-14-10, 3:54 pm
My posh resort of a gym eh? Its the one classy thing I got goin for me haha. See you this afternoon. I'm ready to (not) impress anyone with my benching and do some other shit that might go slightly better. And to use my board vest,which makes me feel like a husband who has to wear a fake pregnancy belly.

moreofme2kill
07-15-10, 3:03 pm
bo rivera needs to die in a fire.

moreofme2kill
07-15-10, 10:08 pm
my hands are fuckin killing me. almost a month ago i quit wearing gloves. i have calluses developed, but they blister underneath. im tempted to rip the fuckers off and let them build up thicker, but itll come with time. worked arms today, nothing to exciting to report. its fuckin hot today, 90+, and im cranky as shit. i want nothing more than to go out back, sit in the shade, grill some carne asada, and consume it with tortillas and beans, guacamole and chile. wash it down with a nice cold 24 pack of coronas, then retreat inside and pass out. but thats not gonna happen. instead im on a diet that makes me moody, and abstaining from beer all together. y? because i fuckin need to, thats why. summer time is definitely different through the eyes of a sober man. normally by this time in the year i would be lounging after work while the suns out, then hitting the streets to enjoy the warm northern cali night air. but that always seems to lead to all to good of a time, and trouble. so this year im doin things different. and its worth it. alot of times in life we do shit that fuckin sucks, but it only sucks while we are doing it. then we look back and realize how worth it it all was, and reap the rewards and benefits of the saccrifice. there is so much more to life than drinking and spending time in seedy places with people who are not really my friends, but are friends of the booze in my system. life is wasted getting wasted. so until i figure out how to have fun and enjoy life sober, im just gonna take it easy and learn. its kinda sad that at near 29 years old i have to learn how to have fun sober, haha. makes me feel like a real winner. but hey, i have never claimed to be flawless. at least i am taking a stand to take my life back. sometimes i feel an eery feeling knowing that others read this, but thats another step that i need to take. i dont go to AA meetings, and dont believe in the process, as i feel it mostly develops a relationship with cigarettes and caffiene addiction more than it actually rids you of your addictive burdens, but this is my accountability structure. even though its only a select few that dare brave into this typographical anomoly. but to those that do, you are the ones that make me stronger, and you know who you are.

JustJ
07-16-10, 12:35 am
btw phil, dunno if you ever play gold (i have an extra set of clubs), but me and a buddy or two might be going next saturday (the 21st) if you're down. if not, no worries. smoke eaters.

moreofme2kill
07-16-10, 3:23 pm
golf? hmmm. only if i can use sledge hammers as clubs. and the 21st is a wednesday.

JustJ
07-16-10, 3:45 pm
golf? hmmm. only if i can use sledge hammers as clubs. and the 21st is a wednesday.

Whoops. Meant the 24th. Its frustrating,but nice to be outside doin somethin different.

moreofme2kill
07-16-10, 6:09 pm
i honestly dont think i have the patience for it, but i appreciate the invite. if you were just going to the driving range i'd be interested. maybe i can go and caddy for you, haha. can i drive the cart? no, no, bad idea, dont wanna get you thrown out.

alquemy
07-16-10, 7:37 pm
Dude...I just checked out your thread, and sorry to hear about the hurt, physically and financially. If you can't hit the iron there's always bodyweight squats, push ups, and pull ups...you can do it Crossfit style:

As many rounds as possible in 20 minutes
5 pull-ups
10 push-ups
15 squats

That shit KILLS...great cardio, and with good form your whole body will be pumped as shit.

Hope you can make the next ABC meet...oh, and those straps are on me!

moreofme2kill
07-17-10, 2:14 am
no way bro, im paying you for the wraps! they work killer, and have gotten alot of good work out of them! as far as that training you suggested, i can do most of it, but i cant do any pullups, hahaha, at least not yet. thanks for the concern and the encouragement. im gonna try and make it to the meet in a few weeks. hopefully i can.

JustJ
07-17-10, 5:24 am
No worries on golf man,its not for everybody. We'll hit up Smoke Eaters next week. Oh,and Marissa told me today that Bo-nanza told her you're not allowed to come in any more. Isn't that some shit?!

moreofme2kill
07-19-10, 12:18 am
lmao! no big deal, let her know that my friend at the BBB has already been called, and they should expect a call for a harrassment claim sometime next week. this should be interesting.

moreofme2kill
07-19-10, 1:10 am
the weekend is coming to an end. as i sit here staring at the glare of this monitor podering my thoughts to vomit out into text, i wonder, what could i have done differently? what oppurtunities were there for me, and i let them pass me by? it was fairly hot this weekend. i didnt do shit. i slept too late into the day, and had trouble falling asleep at night. was it a good use of my time? probably not. but one cannot have too much sleep. i think one of the reasons i enjoy sleep so much is that dreams are an escape from reality. all the bullshit doesnt matter for what can feel like up to days, depending on the dream. all the crazy strange shit that goes on, incredible feats being accomplished with little or no effort. unattainable loves throw themselves at your feet, wealth is abundant, and nothing bad seems to happen. then there are the dreams in which all of that seems to be the opposite, and you cant wait to wake up. but once you awake, not much has changed, other than the fact that this is reality. we are given one shot. so what do we do to try and make this reality more like the first dream and less like the second? you can only try so much, until you have exhausted most of your efforts and the only thing left to do is wait. patience has to be one of the most challenging things for me, mostly for the fact that i know time is wasting, and i may not have alot left to waste. i want to seize the day, grab life by the horns, etc. and sitting around and waiting is not my opinion of doing so. growing up you have things to look forward to that teach you patience ie: birthdays, christmas, summer, etc. but as adults most of these things no longer seem to matter, and the whole spectrum of patience is seen in new light. more so as a burden that is holding you from achieving your goals rather than the imminent arrival of a trivial holiday. patience is a virtue. i want to be a virtuous man. they say good things come to those who wait, i guess ill just have to be patient and see.

JustJ
07-19-10, 1:37 am
Oh Jesus,man. Yea I dunno..she said cuz you told them they have all your info already,that they know you're not going to join and so you can't come in with free guest passes,I guess you gotta pay a guest. Which I said is bullshit cuz if I have guest passes I can bring whoever the fuck I want-thats why they're a guest,doesn't mean they wanna join the damn club. I just hope Bo-ner doesn't try shit with me or more importantly doesn't give Marissa any grief.

moreofme2kill
07-19-10, 1:48 am
haha, i wouldnt worry on it too much.