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View Full Version : A journey of sweat, blood and tears



gutter
06-28-10, 11:22 am
It's always as i remembered,being the runt,being pushed,bullied and mocked. I still remember that fateful day,walking back home,i was cornered by a few big bullies and the fist flew,blood spurted,a simple case of bullying the weak,i came home with a bloody lip.


"You got into a fight?" my parents asked. "No i fell down." i lied.
"No need to lie" they said.
"I was beaten up" i said my head stooped low,ashamed at what had happened.
"You didn't fight back?" my father asked,he was shocked.
"No,i was outnumbered four to one,they were bigger sized" i answered.Why didn't you fight back, I said cause they were bigger and stronger.
"Son,size doesn't matter,its the size of your heart that matters" he said.

I think i will tell you,what every dad should tell their son,so he gave me the talk on,how to never take shit from anyone,push back harder when you're pushed,pick yourself up when you fall down.
"I want revenge dad,i want revenge" I said,my eyes raging with pure vengeance,tears welled up. My lips hurt as i formed each words to talk..It was swollen.

My father's reply was,"You're physically WEAK,why don't you train,they can easily "eat" you like this,you're not strong enough son. You need to train".

From that day on,my parents knew their son as the coward. The coward and weakling.
My mom especially,always said i was weak.
When i hadn't the strength to carry the furniture when we moved house,i was againh mocked for being weak.

Mocked,how I was mocked by my own parents,WEAK! YOU'RE WEAK!!
Those words would forever be ingrained in my head,like an epitome of my shameful past. It still reverbrates through this very day.
I was raised up in a family which sees weakness as it is. Being a man means you had to be an Alpha male,be the dominant of the pack.
Crying means weakness,when pushed you push back,you take shit from no one...such was my upbringing.

Mocked how friends mocked me too,saying i was weak,they were there when it happened but they too didn't do anything,because they feared,they feared the sheer size of those guys compared to their skinny frames.
Reality hit me like a hard left hook,i had to start training.
I was only 15.
Then there came the ex-girlfriend who said to me,hey you look like a stick, a bamboo stick,you look like a freakin stick,put on some meat. She laughed at me and mocked me for my skinny frame.

I started lifting weights but i was still mocked for my slow progress,mocked again and again,these words reveberbrate like jones and mason in my brain. "WHY YOU WANNA LIFT WEIGHTS?
YOU WANNA GET BIG SO YOU CAN TAKE REVENGE? YOU'RE STILL SKINNY,LAUGHTER reverbrating in the background,sardonic laughter". In college i was out down,as i lifted weights in the gym. The few haters passing by would say,"are you for real?".

These were the NEGATIVE catalysmic events
that triggered my survival mechanism,i shall become bigger and stronger to avoid these mockery and to prevent myself from ever being picked on again,from being called WEAK.
Every rep,the memories of what happen burns!
This is my redemption,I'm on a journey of sweat,blood and tears.

G Diesel
06-28-10, 11:40 am
Good for you man... Channel all of that rage and pain into something productive, making yourself better and stronger inside and out.

Peace, G

gutter
06-28-10, 11:51 am
Thanks for passing by and reading G!

gutter
06-28-10, 12:05 pm
Crawling into my bed,the only sanctuary,i know. This which lets me seek refuge from the the dilapidated world and also my cluttered turmoiled mind,refreshing myself for yet another battle tommorow where the war with the logbook rages on!

G Diesel
06-28-10, 12:24 pm
Thanks for passing by and reading G!

No doubt man... The title caught my eye. To get anything out of life, much blood, sweat and tears must be spilled.


Crawling into my bed,the only sanctuary,i know. This which lets me seek refuge from the the dilapidated world and also my cluttered turmoiled mind,refreshing myself for yet another battle tommorow where the war with the logbook rages on!

I feel that bro. My bed is my sanctuary too. My fortress of solitude--even when I'm sharing it with my lady and my dog.

Peace, G

gutter
06-29-10, 9:43 am
No doubt man... The title caught my eye. To get anything out of life, much blood, sweat and tears must be spilled.

Peace, G

I'm sure you had your fair share to reach where you are now and even now the journey has not even ended.

gutter
06-29-10, 9:49 am
Incessant noise and chattering.
Your negative words won't do nothing more then tickle my ears.
I will not succumb,
driven by an unbreakable will,
but by my own,
failure is not an option.
My actions and thoughts will be dictated my me.
I'm my the master of my own Destiny.
Sweat,blood,tears is just
weakness leaving the body.
Pain and Fear is but a barrier,
a hindrance one might say in this endless struggle we call life,
to drive through it is to rise.

gutter
06-29-10, 10:18 am
As the clock passes the hour and
slowly approaches noon,
i peer out my door's gates,
the time..
it has come.
The hour which i had awaited with bated breath
and excitement.

Some called it madness to punish myself in the dungeon,
the dedicated,they admire my tenacity to push myself.
What drives this madness?
I asked myself,i soon heard the sound of clanging iron plates,
drowning out my own ability to reason.

I put on my boots and walked to the dungeon,what seemed to be an eternity,there it was..
The unholy iron gym,an asylum for bodybuilders,powerlifters and the hybrids.
I opened it's doors,the empty walls which seem devoid of any life and walked into the gym below.
I proceeded to the squat rack,the altar of doom for the many who could not take the pain,to get through,you will have to sacrifice,blood,sweat,tears and vomit.
Swirling madness,burst into my head,my cluttered thoughts was like a burst dam overflowing.
RAWR!!!!!!
I will not be overcomed by this,i proceeded to perform what seemed a daunting task to me,but i drived through.
This which i was putting myself through was ..
An all to familiar pain,which i have inflicted upon myself again and again...All to familiar...