Sentenced
02-18-11, 7:47 pm
Hi folks!
I vowed to start an online journal here on the FORVM after getting caught up in the hype for the new Animal Rage product on a different online bodybuilding community. The posts lead me here, and although I registered on this board three years ago, I'm struck by how massively inspiring this particular community is. No room for bullshit!
A bit of background. I'm 22, 6ft 2', and barely 140lbs. I've dabbled in bodybuilding on and off since 2007, peaking at a much healthier 175lbs in the summer of 2008. Since then, I've never managed to sustain the commitment required to make such strident progress in my training and nutrition. I guess you could say that I had no discipline. I work tricky shifts in a local gym as an instructor, and I also manage a bar. I used to kid myself that my working lifestyle prevented me from training consistently. Bullshit, I know. The fact of the matter is that I've always felt totally safe and secure in my free time doing nothing productive. Training was a chore. Sometimes enjoyable, but never predictably so. I have social anxiety and a mild case of ADD, so these setbacks also added to my desire to remain unproductive and "stagnant".
To cut a long story short, I had an epiphany of sorts about a week ago. I realised that I'm truly happy, truly confident and absolutely ALIVE when I'm in the process of working through problems and generally keeping busy. This is the modern world. We are productive machines, and there is no excuse to hinder the development of one's self. I'm in love with the philosophy and ideals of bodybuilding and in awe of the lifestyle it requires. I'd LOVE to be massive, and feel it would so wonders for all aspects of both my jobs. It would also greatly alleviate the social anxiety. My desire to become an inspirational "Weakling Turned Monster" has never waned, but in light of my comfort in wasting time, many failed attempts to get back into the swing of things are behind me.
But I'll say this:
I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna let life slip by until I wake up one morning and ask myself why I've left this "get big and get bigger" dream so late. I'm 22 now. Not old, but at that crucial stage where I need to buckle down with my life and make some progress in all aspects of it, before I begin to regret not starting sooner.
So, with the publication of this journal, I am again a bodybuilder. I will not fritter away my time when I should be using it as a tool for self-improvement and, by proxy, my gains. Thus begins my bulk. Just shy of 4000 ultra-clean and calculated calories a day and a three-times weekly training protocol using Dorian's pre-pro routine outlined in his Warrior's Story book. HIT all the way. Get in, do the work and get the hell out! The routine has been amended to deal in free weights currency only - the best there is. No time for machines with my weight being what it is! I'll be training in the solitude of my dusty, damp garage - the best place I can be at this point in my life. I have a power rack, a squat/calf raise step, an olympic barbell, two olympic dumbbell collars and all the olympic weights in the world. Raw and honest. Basic and fundamental.
I'll aim to update this weekly. In the meantime, thanks for anybody who dropped by and thanks, everyone, for the untouchable dose of cold, gritty inspiration that only ANIMAL is capable of delivering.
I vowed to start an online journal here on the FORVM after getting caught up in the hype for the new Animal Rage product on a different online bodybuilding community. The posts lead me here, and although I registered on this board three years ago, I'm struck by how massively inspiring this particular community is. No room for bullshit!
A bit of background. I'm 22, 6ft 2', and barely 140lbs. I've dabbled in bodybuilding on and off since 2007, peaking at a much healthier 175lbs in the summer of 2008. Since then, I've never managed to sustain the commitment required to make such strident progress in my training and nutrition. I guess you could say that I had no discipline. I work tricky shifts in a local gym as an instructor, and I also manage a bar. I used to kid myself that my working lifestyle prevented me from training consistently. Bullshit, I know. The fact of the matter is that I've always felt totally safe and secure in my free time doing nothing productive. Training was a chore. Sometimes enjoyable, but never predictably so. I have social anxiety and a mild case of ADD, so these setbacks also added to my desire to remain unproductive and "stagnant".
To cut a long story short, I had an epiphany of sorts about a week ago. I realised that I'm truly happy, truly confident and absolutely ALIVE when I'm in the process of working through problems and generally keeping busy. This is the modern world. We are productive machines, and there is no excuse to hinder the development of one's self. I'm in love with the philosophy and ideals of bodybuilding and in awe of the lifestyle it requires. I'd LOVE to be massive, and feel it would so wonders for all aspects of both my jobs. It would also greatly alleviate the social anxiety. My desire to become an inspirational "Weakling Turned Monster" has never waned, but in light of my comfort in wasting time, many failed attempts to get back into the swing of things are behind me.
But I'll say this:
I'll be DAMNED if I'm gonna let life slip by until I wake up one morning and ask myself why I've left this "get big and get bigger" dream so late. I'm 22 now. Not old, but at that crucial stage where I need to buckle down with my life and make some progress in all aspects of it, before I begin to regret not starting sooner.
So, with the publication of this journal, I am again a bodybuilder. I will not fritter away my time when I should be using it as a tool for self-improvement and, by proxy, my gains. Thus begins my bulk. Just shy of 4000 ultra-clean and calculated calories a day and a three-times weekly training protocol using Dorian's pre-pro routine outlined in his Warrior's Story book. HIT all the way. Get in, do the work and get the hell out! The routine has been amended to deal in free weights currency only - the best there is. No time for machines with my weight being what it is! I'll be training in the solitude of my dusty, damp garage - the best place I can be at this point in my life. I have a power rack, a squat/calf raise step, an olympic barbell, two olympic dumbbell collars and all the olympic weights in the world. Raw and honest. Basic and fundamental.
I'll aim to update this weekly. In the meantime, thanks for anybody who dropped by and thanks, everyone, for the untouchable dose of cold, gritty inspiration that only ANIMAL is capable of delivering.