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MAB
03-20-13, 9:08 pm
"The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies,
still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise." -Miguel de Cervantes




I'm a multifaceted person. Then again, who isn't? I can be introverted and I can be extroverted. When an obstacle is placed in front of me I may study it for a time before overcoming it or there are times that I'm brash and plow right through whatever's in my way without a care of who gets run over in the process. I work well under pressure. My "house keeping" style is organized chaos (I like my piles, but you better believe that I know where everything is). I can be take charge, but I'm fine with letting someone else have control of the reins as well. When formulating a plan of action I like to know what's expected of me or what I should expect... I like to be prepared, but then sometimes the surprise is half the fun. You might just say I'm a beautiful mess, I've heard many creative souls described as such.

There are times that I can digest things quickly, but most often, things that cause extreme emotion or change, cause me to introvert. I take it all in, mull it over, and decide how to react. I'll take, and take, and take until something that seems meaningless breaks me down and everything I've been carrying crashes in on me. My life is far from being in ashes right now... but it's a little too close for my taste. I have many wise people in my life. People with wisdom gained from hardships the likes that I may never experience in my lifetime and yet I feel completely lost. This is my life... no one can direct me on which path to choose and there are so many options in front of me.

My mom is one of my wise people. What I love (and often hate) about her is that she's straight with you. There are no frills or bullshit. She'll tell you how she sees it and if you don't like it, then oh well, that's not her problem. She reminds me to breath... she knows that when I freak out I literally and figuratively forget to stop, breath, and think. My natural inclination is to act and those actions are often quite ignorant :) She reminded me that I've survived on my own before, that I made it working for less money and working less hours. She reminded me that I've accomplished a lot so far and that she believes I'm capable of so much more.

I know, no matter what, I have a solid family (a rather large one at that) behind me. I also know that if I applied the dedication I put towards lifting to other aspects of my life I'd get far rather quickly. So here's to "getting back to me," (^_-) to making the decision to adopt a positive outlook no matter how bleak the circumstances, to taking charge and grabbing life by the mother friggin balls O_o

MAB
03-20-13, 9:14 pm
"The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies,
still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise." -Miguel de Cervantes




Forgot to add:

I'm deciding to be too stubborn to be pessimistic or to be brought down by fate, circumstances, or people... The phoenix is too stubborn to stay burnt or a pile of ash. No matter how many times life incinerates this bird it keeps coming back for me all the while thinking, "that's all you've got?"


Those are my thoughts :)

deanna7272
03-20-13, 10:04 pm
(^_-)

I see what you did there.... ;-) <---- that's the best I got...

:|||----|||: (Ya see that there?? I am a "little" creative...lol)

MAB
03-21-13, 6:02 am
Every morning I wake up, ready and rearin to go, until it hits me that I have a 40-60 minute commute to freaking work! UGH! And today there's snow -_-

It really is seeming like life is just throwing a shit storm my way since I've made this leap. One of the first days I commuted there was a freaking ICE STORM... Raining ICE. Then I get an annoying cold... One of the windows on my Jeep, the belt broke so now it won't stay up (and it's rained quite a bit since this)... I could really use a break. Let's hope today after work I get that break with the #1 item at the top of my "to do" list. Wish me luck!

MAB
03-21-13, 2:10 pm
So this morning was crappy... I missed certain parts of the country. I missed being able to fly down back roads, literally driving on the yellow line. I missed the scenery. I missed the fresh air. What I didn't miss was worrying about deer and other critters runnin out in front of my Jeep. And I most certainly DIDN'T miss the fact that the plows never come through. I also didn't miss all the hilljack (I can say that bc I consider myself one) morons in their big ole trucks riding my ass. JUST bc it says 4 wheel drive doesn't mean your vehicle is immune to inclement weather! UGH!

Anywho, I'm sitting here multi tasking. I'm playing fetch with my cat (that's right, he's way cooler than your dog, but that's a whole other story), cross checking my college transcripts with requirements for Early Childhood Education, looking up teaching jobs in Ohio for the field I'm already licensed for, and looking up information about teaching in other states with an Ohio license. All of that and here in a bit I'm going to go walk through an apartment to see if it's even worth my time. There was a hiccup in my morning, but I've hit the ground running.

This thread is titled "call for help" bc I haven't really traveled much in my life. If I've been out of state it's been to Florida for family vacations to Disney or to a hand full of other states for school trips. So even if I've visited another state I don't really know a whole lot about it, let alone which areas would be ok to live in (without the fear of being mugged or my home going up in flames bc someone next door is brewing narcotics). I'm looking for jobs in Ohio first... also checking into expanding my credentials so I can broaden my job search. But I may have to come to terms with looking at jobs in other states. That's where you all come in :) When I do fine prospects I'll have questions that I'm hoping someone here can answer. That's what family's for, correct?

Thanks in advance everyone.


On a training note, tomorrow is freaking FRIDAY! That means I only have to make it through 3 more days and I get to start my newest training split. Tomorrow I'll be going into the gym and seeing what I can do deadlift wise. Wish me luck :)

MAB
03-21-13, 2:22 pm
"I am responsible. Although I may not be able to prevent the worst from happening, I am responsible for my attitude toward the inevitable misfortunes that darken life. Bad things do happen; how I respond to them defines my character and the quality of my life. I can choose to sit in perpetual sadness, immobilized by the gravity of my loss, or I can choose to rise from the pain and treasure the most precious gift I have, life itself." –Walter Anderson


Without pain how can we ever truly appreciate the beauty of pleasure?
Without sorrow how can we every truly savor joy?
Without evil how could we ever truly understand the value of good?
Without the dark how could we ever enjoy the splendor of light?

When darkness is cast upon me I will revel in it; I will make it my home until the time when the fates see fit to cast me into the world of light. Misfortune will not stop me.

MAB
03-22-13, 6:04 am
iTunes WHY DO YOU KEEP UPDATING!!!?!?!?! You were JUST fine the way you were 3 updates ago! Now my friggin iPod is devoid of songs except the 5 I was just trying to add to what was already there! grrrrrrrrrrrrr

deanna7272
03-22-13, 9:13 am
iTunes WHY DO YOU KEEP UPDATING!!!?!?!?! You were JUST fine the way you were 3 updates ago! Now my friggin iPod is devoid of songs except the 5 I was just trying to add to what was already there! grrrrrrrrrrrrr

Breeeeeeeatttthhhheeeeee....... ;-)

MAB
03-22-13, 8:20 pm
Breeeeeeeatttthhhheeeeee....... ;-)


Thanks Dee, LOL. I fixed it... took me my whole lunch break plus 15 mins, but I fixed it. You'll probably say that to me quite a bit. It's one of my faults; I quite often forget to breathe.


Today was... eh, "fun," for lack of a better word. My alarm is set for 4:30AM. I woke up at 3:30 bc the water softener would not shut up and I was having weird ass dreams about zombies in a grocery store. When I woke up I couldn't find the urge that when I opened my eyes I'd see my little bro standing by my bed all gray and decayed waiting to attack. So I decided it'd be best just to start the day. Ate, showered, had my iTunes fiasco, packed my crap and left.

Work was fine today... grumpy 2yr olds in the morning... wild 2yr olds in the afternoon. My highlights? Me climbing out a window of the room to go onto our playground and sneak in some scooters for my critters to burn off some energy with. It worked like a charm bc they all slept like rocks (SCORE!)!

Number 1 on my "to do" list is not going so well... nothing is available, at least not as soon as I was hoping. Bummer, but someone keeps telling me to breathe and that things will work out the way they're supposed to. So I will try to keep that advice in mind and trust that whatever God has written in my book will happen; I'm just gonna try to breathe, relax, and enjoy the ride as much as I can.

So, I took this week off from the gym. Last week I completed week 10 or 10 for my most recent training split and since I've had an annoying mucousy cold I thought I'd just relax. But then I got a little stir crazy (even with all the extra "to do" stuff on my list) and decided to try and max out on deadlifts this week. Well today was the day. I had planned on just going in, warming up, doing deadlifts, stretching, and then going home. Eh, once I got in I kinda did a whole back and biceps day and I didn't really MAX on deads (bc I'm still not 100% sure of my form on standards).

Hypers SS. with Abs (I like to do mine on the "Roman Chair") 2 sets of 20 each
Push Ups 2 sets of 10 (I like to do rep 8, 9, and 10 really slow going down and back up)
Lat Pull down (CG) 75# for 20r, (WG) 75# for 10, 90# for 10
Deadlifts (straight leg) 95# for 10 x 2sets (I like to use these to stretch and warm up)
Deadlifts (standard) 135# for 10, 155# for 5, 175# for 3 x 2sets
Barbell Curl 35# for 20, 45# for 20, 50# for 15
Another set of Hypers SS Abs
Pull Over (cable) 65# for 20, 80# for 15, 80# for 12
DB Inc Curl SS. EZ Bar Rev Curl (I)!0# for 20 (R) 20# for 20 2sets, (I)12# for 15 (R)30# for 15 2sets, (I) 15# for 10 (R)30# for 15
TBar Row 25# for 20, 45# for 10 2sets

From the gym I went to Best Buy and got myself a new toy :) Then it was an hour drive on back roads (bc there was no way in hell I was driving on the highway with my arms shaking). Home, crash on the bed for 10 mins, grab some grub (gonna treat myself to some strawberry shortcake here in a bit), and after I'm done on the forum it'll be shower and bed. I'm gonna take a few melatonin to make sure I'm out and not having weird dreams.

It seems like 2 things happen when I'm stressed... have weird ass freaky dreams and then I have absolutely no appetite. I'm normally pretty good with my meals. The norm would be 5-6, but when I'm stressed it's like I forget to eat, so I'm lucky if I get 3. And I know... trust me I know the importance of fuel (learned the hard way years ago that I tend to be hypoglycemic- first trip in an ambulance & finding out just how much "fun" seizures can be). I'm proud of the work I do, tearing up my little muscle fibers. I don't want to be counter productive by not eating, so I'm gonna try to stay on this, but sometimes it just slips my mind :-/ Ehh

The weekend will fly by and I'll start a new training split. I've been informed that it's not really similar to what I've had over the past year. I'm looking forward to it. I need something to throw myself into. I feel on the verge of getting broody. I'd be content with sleeping, eating, working, and lifting. I'm fighting not to introvert too badly over all this, it's what I tend to do. Sometimes it's good to lean on friends and family, but sometimes I feel like leaning on them makes me a burden. I worry too much about and put others before myself. One of my girlfriends told me that it was time to be selfish. I'll give it my best shot. LOL


"Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and adventures are the shadow truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes and forgotten."-Neil Gaiman

Digest that for a bit... let it sink in :)

MAB
03-22-13, 9:02 pm
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt


Lemme just start by saying Teddy was a kickass man.


Secondly one of my pet peeves, one thing that irks me beyond belief, that can change the way I see a person, and possibly cause me to go into a flying rage is laughing at someone when they're down. If you take joy in someone else's failure then you're just an ass. Even if that person was an asshole to you at some point in time. If that is the case then you're really no better than they are.

Maybe this bugs me beyond belief bc one of my biggest fears is making a mistake and disappointing the people I only want to be proud of me. Honestly disappointing the people I care about, even thinking about disappointing them makes me feel like shit. But I know that I am human. I know that if the people I care about are worth my caring for then they will take me as I am, mistakes and all. And God knows I've made my fair share of mistakes and I'm sure I'll make a shit ton more. I'm the woman in the arena marred by dust, sweat, and blood... hell I rolled in the freaking mud! If I look like a dumbass, then I guess so be it, at least I learned something. But before you judge someone remember, you have no friggin clue what storm they're walking through. They could be smiling, hell they could be jovial and glowing on the outside and on the inside be screaming for someone to just hug them and say, "it's going to be just fine, I've got you."

Blondie Weapon X
03-22-13, 9:34 pm
Youre journey is starting out pretty awesome!!
Im gonna enjoy coming here often!!
Hope to see ya tomorrow !

MAB
03-23-13, 10:15 am
I know I said I was going to strive to be positive, but I need to get a few things off my chest.


1 THIS had better be the last snow of the year. I know it's not snowing right now, but they're calling for snow and I'm so freaking over it! Seriously? There are bluebirds and cardinals outside the kitchen windows right now. Isn't that the signal for shitty ass rainy spring weather?


2 My mom and I are the only ones up right now. We will probably be the only ones up until around 1 or even later. And this is not just a weekend occurrence. Oh no, this goes on through the week. Not only that but there is crap for healthy food in this house. I will be forever grateful for having these guys in my corner, don't get me wrong. I'm thankful to have a place to go, but I really, really want a place all my own. A place with MY things surrounding me. A kitchen stocked with MY type of food. My bed, my covers, my stuff, my comforts.... UGH! I really need #1 on my "To DO" list to fall into place soon!!!


My mom thinks it hasn't fallen into place yet bc she hopes a job somewhere else will just fall into my lap (she hopes Columbus). I keep thinking, "stuff like that just doesn't happen woman!"



I've had a song playing in my head all morning:



"Some of the ugliest things take the longest time to make,
And some of the easiest habits are the hardest one's to break.
I'm not asking for value nor the pain, but I am asking
For a way out of this lie

Because I can't wait for you to catch up with me,
And I can't live in the past and drown myself in memories.

Welcome to nowhere and finding out where it is,
And fixing your problems and starting over again.
You're feeding your ego with what you can see outside.
And your killing yourself for not speaking your mind

Because I can't wait for you to catch up with me,
And I can't live in the past and drown myself in memories.

I wonder why you make believe you live your life straight through me
I cannot understand why you question me and then you lie
I will not justify your way's I cannot show you an escape
I do not know you any more, I never knew you anyway."

~Shinedown "In Memory"

deanna7272
03-23-13, 10:47 am
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows in the end the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt


Before Mike did his first show in 2008, we were just friends then, he was having a tough day... I sat in the office at The Body Shop and talked with him for about an hour... He was feeling broken, felt his support system turned against him, and was pretty much at his lowest point with prep... I left the gym, immediately got online when I got home (no smartphones per se...lol) and found this quote, printed it out, and took it back to him at the gym. It fit perfectly... It made his day and he put it up on the wall. Me hen he leftnthengym, he took it off the wall and put it in his wallet... (Guys don't do that crap... But it meant that much...)

Hopefully, we all can find that when the critics come running... ;-)

MAB
03-23-13, 10:02 pm
And there will always be critics. Someone just around the corner waiting to tell you what you can & can't do. Someone giving advice that wasn't asked for or that always has some kind of remark.

More often then not we happen to be our own worst critics. In art school we dealt with constructive criticism day in & day out. CC I can handle and I welcome. I know I will be harder on myself & expect more of myself than anyone else will (or will verbalized).

MAB
03-25-13, 7:07 am
Snow delay! I don't have to be into work til 10PM! Don't think I'll be going back to sleep though. Not sure I could if I wanted to :(

I'm in a weird place right now... Lots of uncertainty. I don't like not knowing if I'm making the right decision. I don't like feeling guilty or responsible for someone else's unhappiness or loneliness. If I could I would make all the people in my life happy, I would love nothing more. *sigh*

This week I'm supposed to start my new training plan. I've been looking forward to this since the Arnold. I've been needing it for about two weeks now. I still have NO clue what's in store for me, but I know it'll be good and it will be different from what I've had before (which is probably doubly what I need right now, new and uncharted territory to focus on and throw myself into).

That's something on my mind as well recently. The fact that I want nothing more than to throw myself 100% into my training or the other things on my "to do" list (like becoming certified to teach in states surrounding OH) instead of dealing with a rather large issue at hand. I feel like I need time to process, time to really figure out what is best for me and what I really want. When did I start avoiding things like this? LoL I've become my father... Guess that's appropriate seein as how I'm named after him.

I want a space to myself... A space where I'm surrounded by my things, my comforts, and my furrball. Just a place of peace where I can go to be alone, to decompress, and to really figure things out.

MAB
03-25-13, 9:21 pm
Kicked my own ass today... isn't that what this is all about? Haha I had this bright idea that since my upper & lower body were so sore from Fridays session that I would do a whole body session today to help break up some lactic acid. I will more than likely hate myself tomorrow.

Roman Chair hypers SMS w abs 10 reps ea for 2 sets just body weight, 25# for 10 reps x2 sets
BB shoulder press 45# 20r, 45# 17r, 50# 12r, 60# 11r
Cable upright row 40# 20r, 50# 20r, 60# 17r
Ez bar upright row 40# 15r. Db upright row (bc Simone had the 50# ez) 25# 10r
Wg cable row 75# 20r, 15r x2 sets
Goodmornins 45# 10r x3sets
Inc bb bench 45# 20r, 85# 10r then 12r; switch to db 25# for 20r x2 sets
Sup bi curl 20# DBS 10r for3sets
Straight bar curls 35# 10r, 40# 10r, 45# 8r
Leg press 105# 20r 2sets (1wide 1 close, I go deep... Don't be a perve) 135# 20r 2sets (1w, 1c) 165# 15r 2sets (w&c)
Walking lunges ss pulse lunge 40# 13ea leg walking (2sets) pulse 12r ea then 15r ea
Leg ext 60# alternating toes point in, straight, out 30r 3sets
Cable kickbacks (legs) 20# 15r, 30# 12r, 40# 12r
CBS tri push down ss rev tri push down 60# 15r, 12r, 10r

There was a lot of stretching in there... I'm pooped. I just wanted to lay on the floor of the locker room afterwards lol

So Bon nuit to you all!!! This girl's headin to bed.

deanna7272
03-25-13, 9:39 pm
Kicked my own ass today... isn't that what this is all about? Haha I had this bright idea that since my upper & lower body were so sore from Fridays session that I would do a whole body session today to help break up some lactic acid. I will more than likely hate myself tomorrow.

Roman Chair hypers SMS w abs 10 reps ea for 2 sets just body weight, 25# for 10 reps x2 sets
BB shoulder press 45# 20r, 45# 17r, 50# 12r, 60# 11r
Cable upright row 40# 20r, 50# 20r, 60# 17r
Ez bar upright row 40# 15r. Db upright row (bc Simone had the 50# ez) 25# 10r
Wg cable row 75# 20r, 15r x2 sets
Goodmornins 45# 10r x3sets
Inc bb bench 45# 20r, 85# 10r then 12r; switch to db 25# for 20r x2 sets
Sup bi curl 20# DBS 10r for3sets
Straight bar curls 35# 10r, 40# 10r, 45# 8r
Leg press 105# 20r 2sets (1wide 1 close, I go deep... Don't be a perve) 135# 20r 2sets (1w, 1c) 165# 15r 2sets (w&c)
Walking lunges ss pulse lunge 40# 13ea leg walking (2sets) pulse 12r ea then 15r ea
Leg ext 60# alternating toes point in, straight, out 30r 3sets
Cable kickbacks (legs) 20# 15r, 30# 12r, 40# 12r
CBS tri push down ss rev tri push down 60# 15r, 12r, 10r

There was a lot of stretching in there... I'm pooped. I just wanted to lay on the floor of the locker room afterwards lol

So Bon nuit to you all!!! This girl's headin to bed.

Good God, you did... Sometimes we NEED that.... Every once in a while, I ask Andy to take me through a workout... He kicks my ass... He says that when he's pissed at himself, it's the same workout he does... That'll teach him...lol.

MAB
03-26-13, 9:07 pm
I think the trainers in there were waiting for me to die. LoL I got a protein smoothie after and told the guy, "I'm not going anywhere, I'm just gonna sit on the floor for a bit... Just in case you look up and don't see me."

I'm not really as sore as I thought I'd be. Tomorrow after work I'm going to a gf's house and she's gonna help me revamp my resume and cover letter (it's what she does). Afterwards, if we don't take to long, I'm gonna head into the gym for a nice stretching session. I'm way overdue for a little barre stretching.

Speaking of my gf, I have to say how proud of her I am... She's had it pretty shitty for a while now. After hitting absolute rock bottom emotionally a while ago (so glad I was there to catch her) she started making changes. She started speaking up for herself more, stopped taking less than she deserved, and started healing. This is her last week/ weekend in Dayton and I'm so sad we won't be in as close proximity to one another, but I am so freaking excited for her. She's got a new job and will be moving into her new apartment soon. She'll be closer to family as well. I think of all the exciting possibilities that are just waiting at her doorstep and my heart swells w happiness and pride. You don't know the storm she's walked through, the darkness she emerged from; I do. And I love her all the more for it. I can't wait to come visit her and her ill midget once she gets her place squared away.

How easy is it for us to take such pride in those we love for overcoming great struggle and yet we often fail to see the similarities in our lives or recognize our own strength and determination. Where her struggle was both physical and mental mine seems only to be a battle of whits and unfortunately I am my own worst enemy.

deanna7272
03-26-13, 9:53 pm
We are all our worst enemy AND worst critics...

I'm thinking it's the same friend we have discussed... She IS very fortunate to have had you there... Hopefully she is able to show you that it can be done.. A fresh beginning can make a world of difference....

MAB
03-27-13, 5:00 am
Maybe that's why I'm so excited for her and sad all at once. I hadn't thought of it, but she is kinda like the guinea pig on the fresh start front... Her break/ fresh start won't be as clean as mine could be though; they never are when critters are involved.


And I retract my previous statement... I'm sore. I'm really, REALLY sore. LoL

MAB
03-27-13, 6:11 am
There are two decisions before me: one that feels comfortable and one that feels right... I'm going with my gut, I'll accept the consequences.

"The biggest mistake you'll ever make is being afraid of making one". ~unknown

deanna7272
03-27-13, 9:29 am
There are two decisions before me: one that feels comfortable and one that feels right... I'm going with my gut, I'll accept the consequences.

"The biggest mistake you'll ever make is being afraid of making one". ~unknown

Where is that LIKE button????

MAB
03-30-13, 11:50 am
Basically two weeks off structured training and I'm ready to get back to it... Yesterday was a just complete merde. I ate like crap, felt like crap, and had a crap session in the gym. I was feelin' pretty low yesterday. I know that I have issues with my blood glucose... I know that if they spike then they'll drop quickly and so will I. I really am my own worst enemy. I know the signs of gettin close to that edge. Being quick to aggravation, feelin sick to my stomach, the cold clammy hands, and less than normal vision. But I like to push the limits... hopefully it won't end up with me under some weights seizing. I'm sure that'd be less than desirable and my mom would go bat shit crazy on me :)

Anywho, I'm glad that I have the caring coworkers that I do. They have helped keep me on track with a portion of my "to do" list. If it wasn't for one of them I'd have totally forgotten to turn in some paperwork needed for approval on an apartment I'm lookin at (keep your fingers crossed!).

I'm also, really grateful for my friends. We may butt heads from time to time, we may not always see eye to eye, but they are all respectful and very supportive. I know that no matter what decisions I make, no matter what mistakes I make, I've got them in my corner and that is invaluable.


On a training note I tried some of Guns' Dimel Deads and I liked them quite a lot. Pretty easy though with 95# and 25 reps :-/. Solo next time I think I'll push it to the limit :)


Happy Easter weekend everyone! If you're traveling, be safe. Hope to see a bunch of you in Cleveland here soon!

GUNS
04-01-13, 9:17 am
Your workouts are long! That would kick my ass! Keep it up! Good to see you logging still! =)

MAB
04-01-13, 8:03 pm
Your workouts are long! That would kick my ass! Keep it up! Good to see you logging still! =)


Looks like they'll be shorter these next ten weeks. Probably for the best w my hour commute one way (it's kicking my ass. I literally get home, eat, shower, go to bed). And I'm going to throw caution to the wind. If you wanted you could "un-delete" my first journey... But I figure why let other people's insecurities rule my life?


Started my newest split today. I hate doing chest on Mondays bc every Joe Schmoe is doing chest, or so it seems. Had a good go 'round though. I'm still shaky as hell :)

Got a voice mail today. I'm excited, but disappointed at the same time. The place I was looking at renting will approve me if I can claim more income or get a consigner... How sad that I'm 28 and need a freaking consigner? I even told them I'd be paying 4 months up front. Gah! I'll be talkin to my dad tonight as long as they get home before I go to bed. Wish me luck.

I want to request prayers for my gf... She's only got one more week left in her hell house before she's officially in the clear and doesn't have to deal with as much negativity (or violence/ aggression). I keep tellin her to keep her head up high, she's almost to the finish line. I've told her how proud of her I am, that she gives me hope, and I think she's a badass tough broad. But I also know how it feels to be around negativity often, how it slowly starts to creep in, consume you with doubt and wash away your sense of self worth. So I'm praying for her strength and resolve. She only has a few more days; please do the same. I'd greatly appreciate it.

On a fun note I have a few critter stories (critter= my 2yr olds). My name is kinda unusual... I've heard it butchered so many times that I pretty much answer to anything that remotely sounds close. Tons of adults have had issues pronouncing my name, so I'm definitely going to let my midgets slide. Last year I had a little tomboy of a cutie pie who pronounced the kah sound like huh... (They call me Kel and still have issues, so Mikel is off the table). Well this ill girl called me Hoe. So all day I would hear: "hey hoe, what are you doing?" "Hoe I need help" "more please hoe." LoL I also had a little boy who could say my name correctly, but preferred to call me Kananoe (kinda like canoe). More recently is the cutest little merde de tete and he calls me Joe (his kah sound comes out jah, so "okay" sounds like "ojay").


Even on a bad day these little military brats put a smile on my face and make me feel truly loved :) just thought I'd share. (PS the little boy who calls me joe was saying "aye mam" to all my requests today. Haha so cute).

MAB
04-07-13, 9:29 am
So I stayed the night w my gf on her last night at her house. We chatted for a bit before heading to bed and she just seems to be in such a good place. I'm so excited that she is officially in her own apartment only a few minutes from her new job :) End of next week we're planning on me staying with her, checking out the new place and helping her get used to her new surroundings. Then the next day we're going to work on developing my professional profile, I guess you could say.

Yesterday was a blast! It was my fourth ABC. I got in a good workout with Dee, Tark, and Domichi. I really wish there were gyms like Old School Iron around this area. If it weren't so far away I'd definitely go back... There were quite a few members there who looked like they'd have good advice to give :)

I'm a little sore today, but looking forward to this week. I'm getting off work early tomorrow then heading to Indiana with my mama. We're staying in a hotel then waking up at the butt crack 'o dawn to go to the big annual Vera Bradley sale... Probably no one here will know what that is and that's fine lol. It's really more about gettin to spend some one on one fun time with my mom. Hopefully free of drama or talk of drama.


I'm approved for the apartment. Kinda wondering if I'm doing the right thing or not by getting myself into a lease. I know 6 months will literally fly by. I also know my little Jeep has well over 120thousand miles on it. I know they're rated for up to and over 200 if you take care of them, but it'd be my luck that a shit storm would hit right about the time I sign and move in. Sad that I'm actually waiting for something to happen... I need to remember to breath. Just go w the flow and let everything fall into place. I'll end up where I'm meant to be no matter what.

On a cool note we got to take my nephew on his first trip to a zoo :) but he's on his way back to Iowa. I hope he had a good time here... Most of his time here I was working, but it was cool to get to interact w him when I could. It's so odd to look at him. He reminds me so much of when my brother was little :)

smoothballer
04-07-13, 11:09 am
Awesome that you could make it yesterday. Looks like you had a pretty damn solid session.

deanna7272
04-07-13, 11:12 am
On a parallel live kick, I've hit 120 also...lmao.

More later....

MAB
04-07-13, 12:57 pm
Awesome that you could make it yesterday. Looks like you had a pretty damn solid session.

Most definitely! And I'm super jealous of the set up you've got going on there!


On a parallel live kick, I've hit 120 also...lmao.

More later....

LoL Dee! Will the similarities never end? :) can't wait to see all your pics! I was so peeved I forgot my camera.

MAB
04-07-13, 5:52 pm
I haven't posted a quote in a while and this one stuck out to me:

"Stop thinking about what could go wrong and think about what could go right."

MAB
04-08-13, 4:18 pm
Refreshing news today. Keep your fingers crossed for me :)


Starting to feel like I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'll be able to relax soon enough and hopefully keep gaining control/ ground in certain aspects of my life.

GUNS
04-08-13, 5:24 pm
Refreshing news today. Keep your fingers crossed for me :)


Starting to feel like I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I'll be able to relax soon enough and hopefully keep gaining control/ ground in certain aspects of my life.

=D

MAB
04-09-13, 8:14 pm
=D


:)


I'm reminiscing. I started the journey I'm currently on about a year ago. I was in a completely different state of mind and physical well being at that point in time. Physically I was the heaviest I'd ever been in my whole life. I've always been tall and lanky, skinny. All throughout college I weighed 135-140# at 5'11" until I met/ moved in with my husband and started Grad school.

The year I was in grad school was a tough year. I had recently graduated with my BFA and had entered an accelerated Masters program. I was student teaching full time and taking a full course load, commuting 20mins one way to the school I was teaching at, some Grad classes weren't over til 9pm, and most nights I was up late doing my own homework, creating lesson plans or art samples or grading student work. There was also a punch of personal drama going on between my, then, fiancé and family. This would also be the period of time that I first started experiencing shoulder issues since my dirt bike accident 6 years prior.

My fiancé tried to get me into the gym... When I'd go I honestly felt uncomfortable in my own skin (which was becoming an every day experience) and didn't really know what to do.

I'll skip a bunch of details so this doesn't drag out. I started taking the gym and lifting seriously to help me (dare I say the dreaded words?) get into shape for my wedding. The journey to my wedding day was a struggle in and of itself. I planned and designed the whole friggin thing. I hand sewed the gift bags for my guests, did my own center pieces, the whole freaking nine yards (I'm crazy, I know this now). And while, yes, I fit into my dress and looked pretty I wasn't my best and wasn't in my best state of mind.

Fast forward a bit: I decide to help my wedding photographer's wife catch a break on her trainer's expenses (she was gearing up for a dip in the Figure pool) and sign up for a month of training with her trainer. I continued training with this girl til she hopped on the Visalis bandwagon and tried to shove it down my throat... I went a while without a trainer, started doing my own research and while I was gaining confidence in the gym I wasn't really seeing much changes in my strength or body itself.

Fast forward through some more drama and I'm gearing my husband up for a year over seas as a civilian contractor. This is a stressful event... Making sure someone has the majority of what they'll need for a whole year and then shipping it over seas plus buying their plane tickets when you both work for minimum wage... Gah! I'm proud to say I did it and allowed him the freedom to veg out on video games and just prepare himself mentally. He ships off without any issue in November.

That March I go to my second Arnold Classic (my first was the year prior and I went with the photographers wife). The end of March I had a new trainer and a program meant to kick start my metabolism and my transformation. When I started I weighed around 169#. It really didn't take long for me to start noticing differences in my body, my mood, my state of mind, or with my performance in the gym. My clothes were becoming too big. By my third training split I was buying new jeans. That summer I felt more comfortable at the pool. In all I dropped 4 pants sizes but I still weighed in at just under 160#. I know that confuses the hell out of civilians, but I trust those on this Forvm will appreciate its meaning.

Not only had I dropped a bunch of fat, gained muscle, and strength, more importantly I gained a voice and confidence. Maybe some day in the near future I will share my whole story, but the most important and valuable transformation for me has not been the physical strength I've gained (although, trust me, I freaking LOVE that part) it's been the state of mind, the confidence to try and get back to the me I was 6 years ago. It's been the realization that I can be enough, that my voice and opinions do and should matter, that my happiness and well being go hand-in-hand.

Even if a person is not fully conscious of their own unhappiness the body will try to make you aware of it; you will become unhealthy, be constantly sick, feel run down, and you can even experience ailments like headaches, neck aches, muscle knotting, etc. it's so important to pay attention to your body and what it tells you. Your brain might be clouded by your heart, but your body will never lie to you.

So this past March marked a year for me. And while I still have a very long ways to go I know that it can be in your best interest to look at how far you've come rather than how much further you have to go :)

MAB
04-09-13, 8:19 pm
Correction: when I started my journey I weighed around 160# not 169#

Haha hit the wrong key :)

MAB
04-10-13, 10:15 pm
How is it that they know exactly what to say to make you feel like a dumbass just running in circles.

MAB
04-11-13, 7:17 pm
This week started off slowly but has picked up some speed and gone quickly. In Ohio it's been rainy; multiple days of severe thunderstorm warnings and watches. I guess it's that time of year, April showers bring May flowers. And speaking of May, I started this month feeling like it was so far away! How the heck was I going to keep up at the pace I'm going with work, commuting, the gym, and everything else on my list? April is going by surprisingly fast. Maybe it's cuz I'm staying busy.

I had the hotel night with my mom and sis. Then the Vera outlet sale. Back to work and I had to bust out a lesson plan that was due the day I got back. Now I'm focusing on next week's "Art Show." I put art show in quotes bc it's something the pto has us put on; we hang the kids artwork in the hall and their parents pay at least a dollar per piece (they can pay more if they wish) and then that money is supposed to go towards buying supplies for rooms or the center itself. I guess art at work is a sore subject. They kinda lean towards the Montessori type learning environment. Don't get me wrong, it's a great concept, but it's like everything else in life, too much of a good thing turns bad (like No Child Left Behind). There have been many arguments about process art versus product art and its a subject that straight up pisses me off.

Anywho, I'll be scrambling to pull this thing together with no funds and more than likely no help from the two other girls in the room. I don't really mind; they've kinda let me do most of the stuff in the room here lately bc they know I need the distraction and to keep busy. But I really hope they won't act weird once I've finally got myself squared away and want to divvy the work up evenly again.

After next week we have a spirit week, which always seem to go faster (maybe bc you're having fun at work, OMG!!). And after spirit week is the last week of April/ first week of May!!! I'm so freaking looking forward to this step!

A few questions tho. Is it really necessary to have a couch? I mean I will literally only be sleeping, showering, and eating in my apt, but for some reason both my parents are adamant I have a couch and insist on helping me find a good deal on one. I'm more thinking a bed and dresser are more important, but that's just me. Oh well.

I'm excited that ill be closer to work and my gyms. That ill have a fridge all to myself for food, a bathroom to myself, a laundry room to myself. I guess I'm just excited to have my own space again. Here's to hoping tis is the right move at this time.

Extreme
04-12-13, 10:39 am
Didn't even realize that you had started another log...but GREAT to see you doing so again. I really enjoy your thought process and the way in which you're able to express yourself in words. Definitely along for the ride and here for support. Glad to see you still going strong!

MAB
04-13-13, 5:45 pm
Didn't even realize that you had started another log...but GREAT to see you doing so again. I really enjoy your thought process and the way in which you're able to express yourself in words. Definitely along for the ride and here for support. Glad to see you still going strong!



Thanks! Ill take any support I can get and like always, I'm open to feed back and tough love :)


I'd text Dee about this the other day bc it went along with what all had been talked about recently on her thread. I was in Mason over the wknd helping my gf, who just recently got out of a nasty situation and into her own little slice of paradise, find fun places in her new area. We came across Brazenhead Irish Pub... I've got a soft spot for pubs. I love their atmosphere, how they're laid back, they focus on sports (from all over the world), and of course, who doesn't love a man in a kilt? LoL

Well there were two college aged women sitting by us... I wouldn't have guessed either played a sport. One asked the Barista, "do you play volleyball?" To which the very confused Barista replied no. "Oh, we'll you look really familiar. We play volleyball and you look athletic so I just assumed that's why." The Barista was not someone I would have termed athletic... She is what I'd term skinny, but I'm not the average Joe. What irks me about this situation is the misconception that if you're "skinny" then you're obviously healthy and in good "shape." It just goes to show how misinformed the majority of people are. I think that misconception and the one that women who lift will look like men are the two biggest fitness misconceptions that drive me straight up a wall. And it's like banging your head against a wall trying to explain either of those.

Other than that this weekend has been a good one and fairly productive. I have moments of slight panic... I catch myself falling into old habits. The busier I am and the more I'm around friends the happier I become... the happier I feel the more I forget about all the hurt and that person is still in my life, on the side lines waiting for the coach to give him another shot. I find myself acting normal with him... and I know he'll think that means all is well, but that's not the case. I found a quote once about how you can forgive a person for something, but no amount of forgiveness will erase the pain or sorrow that they caused you. And this is something I struggle with. When I think of the hurt that was caused, the betrayal, the let down, the words said bc only he knew exactly which buttons to push, it takes me to a dark place. A place where I feel both sorrow and anger. Where they rise up in me with such violence it's hard to not completely destroy something or just fall to pieces. And oddly the happiness is both reminding me of that darkness and allowing me to slip up on holding my guard.

I look forward to my own apartment. I have it decorated already in my mind, which is funny bc I only have half the furniture ill need. Maybe this move will help me come to a decision on which step to take next. I'm horrible bc I give ppl chance after chance after chance. I like to believe ppl can change, I like to give the benefit of the doubt, but sometimes I need to remove the rosé colored glasses and accept that I'm just wrong. Bleh!

Either way I'm grateful for the ppl in my life that make me laugh and make me feel like a worth while human being. I'm grateful for my training and that I'm now Dee Flint approved ;-) loL I was not exaggerating when I said that made my whole week Dee :)

Here's to hoping I get in May first!!

Extreme
04-15-13, 9:03 am
Either way I'm grateful for the ppl in my life that make me laugh and make me feel like a worth while human being. I'm grateful for my training and that I'm now Dee Flint approved ;-) loL

The power of positivity from supportive friends and family can be one of life's greatest strengths in my opinion...good to see that you recognize that, despite negativity from the past.

deanna7272
04-15-13, 10:14 am
Love reading your stuff...lol. I know most of it already, but it's nice to fill in the gaps with the details...lol.

GUNS
04-15-13, 10:50 am
What does it take to get "Dee Approved"? Hahaha!

MAB
04-15-13, 8:33 pm
Haha Guns! I'm pretty sure you're Dee approved :)


Saw the news in the gym today... Multiple bombings at the Boston Marathon. Really seems as if no where is safe anymore. Americans attacking Americans, other countries terrorizing us as well.. But I think the homeland terrorism is the worst. What's even creepier is that there's a quote from Lincoln that basically says America will not fall to foreign powers, we will fall from the inside. I think that when they figure out who is responsible the media should NOT put them in the lime light... Negative media attention doesn't matter to these people, they want attention of any kind. They need to stop showing pictures of gunmen, stop airing their names, bc in their minds they will be like all these mass murderers who have movies made after them, books written about them, sick fan clubs and cult followings, etc...

My heart goes out to everyone who was affected by this tragedy.



Got back into the gym this week. Last week was a jumbled mess... Today's workout started off a little shaky, but I kicked my own butt and I'm still shakin from it. I feel like I'm slipping back into darkness... things are gettin to me, creepin into my head, drivin me nuts. It's almost like I'm in the eye of a storm. I'm the whole storm, there are so many things swirling and raging inside me, I'm tryin to keep my self control, I'm the calm eye of the storm. When I get like this I tend to self destruct. I think that's one reason training appeals to me so much, it's a more positive form of self destruction. As long as I keep my form and don't push too much I should be fine...little tears in my muscle fibers.

deanna7272
04-15-13, 9:47 pm
What does it take to get "Dee Approved"? Hahaha!


You do your work... You don't brag of "haters".... You don't step on others to achieve your goals... You put in your time, you're not looking for a fan club... ((Plus a few other qualifications that I can't disclose at this time...lol))

Guns = Dee Approved

MAB
04-15-13, 9:50 pm
You do your work... You don't brag of "haters".... You don't step on others to achieve your goals... You put in your time, you're not looking for a fan club... ((Plus a few other qualifications that I can't disclose at this time...lol))

Guns = Dee Approved



LoL See? Told ya Jimmy! :)

GUNS
04-16-13, 8:45 am
You do your work... You don't brag of "haters".... You don't step on others to achieve your goals... You put in your time, you're not looking for a fan club... ((Plus a few other qualifications that I can't disclose at this time...lol))

Guns = Dee Approved


LoL See? Told ya Jimmy! :)

I should be typing this in red, Im blushing!

deanna7272
04-16-13, 9:12 am
I should be typing this in red, Im blushing!

There are just so many these days that feel they have to shout their accomplishments to the world... Your actions speak for themselves, let them do the shouting.... I have grown tired of hearing it...lol.

I'm not saying that we shouldn't be proud, but the whole "hater" crap cracks me up... Not sure where your actions in the gym affect the size of your head, but some are having a hard time getting through the door with their arrogance...

Sm(regular sized)h....

GUNS
04-16-13, 9:24 am
I hear ya! Ive never been that way, and never will! Your the same no doubt!

deanna7272
04-16-13, 10:06 am
I hear ya! Ive never been that way, and never will! Your the same no doubt!

Believe me, I get excited about reaching and exceeding my goals... I do get frustrated when someone is judgmental about what we do, but I don't think I have "haters" by any means... I just think that, at times, what we do makes others look at their insecurities and instead of facing them, they downplay our security within our own skin. Believe it, most of us have some sort of lack of satisfaction within ourselves, if we didn't we would be like the status quo and not do what we do. Like they say, "Satisfaction Kills Desire"

GUNS
04-16-13, 10:43 am
Agree!

MAB
04-16-13, 8:05 pm
Today, I dunno if I woke up on the wrong side of the bed or what. I was just in a mood from arguments the night before. My mood got worse when I asked a question and the response I got didn't even answer the question. I felt on the verge of tears so I blaired my music and pushed it all down. Here lately the song Erase My Scars by Evan's Blue (the link below, can't figure out how to do a direct video via iPad) has just rang true to how I'm thinking and feeling.


http://m.youtube.com/#/watch?v=bP_zC57IXrE&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DbP_zC57IXrE


I've managed decent workouts so far this week. Yesterday was chest. I'm hitting higher reps, shorter sets, mid weight, and super setting to pure exhaustion. I'm sore as hell today and so happy about it. Today was legs. I've been havin issues w my knee so I went a bit lighter today but really focused on my movements, slowed things down, and made sure I was setting my muscles on fire. Squats were fun... I made sure to go deep enough that the bar was hitting the sides of my squat rack and I paused for the last 5 of each set. Miss Nancy woulda been proud :) lol

I think my problem right now is I'm so full of hate. Self loathing, mentally tearing myself down and physically as well. I'm still lifting the way I always do, but I'm not eating even half of what I usually do. I see what's going on, but at this point in time I just don't fucking care enough to fix it. I've turned my phone off. I may keep it off the rest of this week.

I'm tired of being told that my feelings are invalid and that the hurt I feel is unwarranted. I'm tired of the constant arguing, the constant running in circles because I'm wrong or don't remember something correctly, or how bout we've been there, gone over this, so get over it already? You can forgive someone a deed, but I just can't get over the feelings I had as a result of words said. I can't get over being made to feel like a bad wife, being made to feel like I had to side against my family, being made to feel unworthy of friends; I can't get past feeling I was always in the wrong. Even here recently second guessing myself on what I wear, meeting people's gazes, even just interacting with people.

I am a good person... I keep telling myself this, but I still hate myself... I really just don't know wtf to think or feel anymore, so I chose emptiness, but that's not helping matters much either. What a vicious fucking cycle, pardon my French. I think I have it all figured out and then doubt creeps back in. I feel like I've been here before and I should know what to do, but it's a different time, different person, different situation. BLEH!!!!!

Go watch my video and don't mind the rant. Guess I just need some release.

deanna7272
04-16-13, 10:47 pm
Girl, listen... Shut out the hate... When we have the hate in our hearts (for ourselves or others) it slows the healing process.. How can you get to and sort your feelings if you are constantly doubting yourself. Stand firm in your beliefs.... As the shirt says... STAND YOUR GROUND... ;-)

You cannot find happiness until the hate is gone. I know you're pissed because you've allowed this to happen. You are a strong woman, but allowed someone to control decisions and that does not sit well with you. We do that with affairs of the heart, but constantly being influenced makes us lose strength and belief in our value. You are the most important person right now. You're happiness is what should guide you. You will know in time, what it is that makes you happy. You control the time...

Don't EVER question your value... Don't EVER let anyone steal that from you. We all learn the hard way though and sometimes don't see it until it's too late. You're a strong woman, capable of making rational decisions on her own, weigh the issues, fight for what's important to you and the right answers will come...

GUNS
04-16-13, 11:48 pm
Girl, listen... Shut out the hate... When we have the hate in our hearts (for ourselves or others) it slows the healing process.. How can you get to and sort your feelings if you are constantly doubting yourself. Stand firm in your beliefs.... As the shirt says... STAND YOUR GROUND... ;-)

You cannot find happiness until the hate is gone. I know you're pissed because you've allowed this to happen. You are a strong woman, but allowed someone to control decisions and that does not sit well with you. We do that with affairs of the heart, but constantly being influenced makes us lose strength and belief in our value. You are the most important person right now. You're happiness is what should guide you. You will know in time, what it is that makes you happy. You control the time...

Don't EVER question your value... Don't EVER let anyone steal that from you. We all learn the hard way though and sometimes don't see it until it's too late. You're a strong woman, capable of making rational decisions on her own, weigh the issues, fight for what's important to you and the right answers will come...

Great advice D!

deanna7272
04-17-13, 9:58 am
Great advice D!

Thanks Guns... Sometimes it's easy to give advice when you've been there yourself... If only we could TAKE our own advices...lol

GUNS
04-17-13, 10:18 am
Thanks Guns... Sometimes it's easy to give advice when you've been there yourself... If only we could TAKE our own advices...lol

Haha, definately!

Extreme
04-17-13, 11:10 am
I think my problem right now is I'm so full of hate. Self loathing, mentally tearing myself down and physically as well. I'm still lifting the way I always do, but I'm not eating even half of what I usually do. I see what's going on, but at this point in time I just don't fucking care enough to fix it. I've turned my phone off. I may keep it off the rest of this week.

I'm tired of being told that my feelings are invalid and that the hurt I feel is unwarranted. I'm tired of the constant arguing, the constant running in circles because I'm wrong or don't remember something correctly, or how bout we've been there, gone over this, so get over it already? You can forgive someone a deed, but I just can't get over the feelings I had as a result of words said. I can't get over being made to feel like a bad wife, being made to feel like I had to side against my family, being made to feel unworthy of friends; I can't get past feeling I was always in the wrong. Even here recently second guessing myself on what I wear, meeting people's gazes, even just interacting with people.

I am a good person... I keep telling myself this, but I still hate myself... I really just don't know wtf to think or feel anymore, so I chose emptiness, but that's not helping matters much either. What a vicious fucking cycle, pardon my French. I think I have it all figured out and then doubt creeps back in. I feel like I've been here before and I should know what to do, but it's a different time, different person, different situation. BLEH!!!!!

Go watch my video and don't mind the rant. Guess I just need some release.

I've been in this exact same situation, and even after almost 4 years I still have doubt and hate wanting to take over at times. Dee's advice is spot on...you just do you and everything else will fall into place. The past is the past. None of us can go back in time to change it, but we can certainly learn from it. Keep your chin up and let the haters hate.

MAB
04-17-13, 7:59 pm
Thanks guys :) I didn't really expect anyone to read all that let alone make much sense of it. I was on a roll, full of self loathing, doubt, and all sorts of craziness. This whole week I've just been OFF. I feel edgy and just all sorts of wrong. And I think part of the reason became apparent to me today. I got to work and from the start I was shaking. My hands were just going non-stop, quivering. By the time my coworker came in I felt like I could just lay on the floor and melt into the carpet. I showed her how badly my hands were shaking and she went room to room asking if anyone had any healthy snacks. Luckily for me one lady had some almonds and walnuts. That held me over til breakfast with the kids. On my break I took a 30min power nap and seemed good to go.

I was still a bit off, edgy, down, whatever but kept tellin myself it'd all be ok once I got to the gym. I kicked my own ass, I'm proud to say. Ill sleep like a rock.

Barbell bicep curls 20reps ss medicine ball throw downs 20reps, 4 sets 40 and 45# on the curls, 12# on the throw downs (I usually do 15-20 but LA only goes to 12)

Cleans (had an acquaintance coaching me through these to make sure I was spot on) 4sets of 20, 45-50#

Cable curls 20reps ss hanging leg raises 25reps (body weight) 4sets, 1@ 30#, 2@ 40#, last @ 50#

Then I threw in 4 sets of reverse curls 2@ 20# and 2@ 30#

And finished w EZ bar curls, my back and shoulders pressed against a wall to ensure I kept for 4sets, 30#, ranging from 10-15reps

I walked out feeling better than when I walked in. THAT is what I love about training.


Something funny just hit me: I am my own worst hater... But at least now I know poor nutrition has been amplifying everything :) Boo on you hypoglycemia!! At least I didn't crash into a seizure; silver lining!

Those cleans are gonna leave me feeling like a 90 yr old tomorrow for sure. I really need to work on my grip.

Again, thanks for the support Dee, Jimmy, Extreme (I don't know you're actual name! :( fill me in!)!!! It's good to know I've got people rootin for me and who think better of me than I do at times. That's what family's about though, right? Family loves you when you can't even love yourself. Can't thank you all enough :)

MAB
04-17-13, 8:11 pm
And Dee, I think you're totally right. I think I'm just chalk full of hate for myself right now because I'm at odds with myself. I've only ever been here one other time. I let someone change me, change my perspective, let them get me to where I was just silent and didn't voice my opinion... I just stopped bc it was easier than always arguing and now it's almost as though I can't help but pick fights...

But I'd always prided myself on being family and friend oriented. I always thought of myself as a strong woman, of being caring, kind, driven... But all that went out the window. I'm mostly pissed at myself, I let myself, my family, and my friends down. I also let that relationship down bc I wasn't giving my 100% If I had been 100% me it would have either fallen apart quicker or it would have been stronger. But I can't ignore any more the hate I feel for the other person. I will always love him, always care about him, his happiness and safety, but I also hate him and I'm just at odds with myself right now over the whole thing.

I think the advice of just focusing on me, being me, doing what makes me happy, is the best path for me right now. It's a life changing decision but not life altering to an extreme, although I will admit there is a part of me that longs to throw all caution to the wind, quit my job, and completely relocate and start anew, but hey, we've gotta try and stay reasonable and mature here, lol.

Like I said a while back, "the biggest mistake you'll ever make is being afraid to make one."

deanna7272
04-18-13, 9:45 am
Like I said, we were not brought up to hate, but I know I was brought up to give second chances (and thirds, and fourths, etc) to a fault... I kept my mouth shut for fear that my hubby would feel inferior. I took the pain and he lived the glory. Co-dependence to a T.... I was able to recognize it in my second marriage and if I was hurting, I said something (so I thought)... My 2nd hubby was a wonderful man, kind, caring, sensitive, etc... To a fault... I didn't like THAT either... I was the one dealing with issues because he allowed people to walk on him... and as much as I want to deny it, that included me (that hurts to say, but I can't deny it. In the end, 75% of the reason for my second divorce was MY fault. There were issues that we had that he knew about, but didn't try to fix. An attempt would have been feasible, but he also was in denial. There are things that I needed that he didn't provide, because he thought of it as a less important factor in a successful marriage. I myself, on the other hand, knew what I was missing and sought it out myself... Not right, not fair, but I did.)

Back to you...lol. I understand the anger, but I also understand your way of thinking. We just get to a boiling point where we do not like to be, but don't know how to change it, because it's second nature now. IF we speak up, we are now naggers, complainers, labeled a hypocrite, and more than likely just being bitchy... No, we too have a voice, we just wait TOO long to speak. I know that you had been trying to get your point across and in your case, he was in denial... Sometimes it's difficult to see when it starts or how to fix it once the levy breaks...

We are here for you, this is what makes this place unique... If you go through my journey, that's exactly what it is, a journey. I don't want to start a new one because it is me... It is what has MADE me ME... Preps have not been easy, and it's not even the prepping part, it's LIFE in general... I look back from time to time and see the support given here, when my life was at it's rockiest... Believe me, these guys here have helped me carry my burden, helped build me up, and helped me get through some of the toughest/lowest times of my life... I cannot repay what that means to me...

We gotcha girl...

Extreme
04-18-13, 9:47 am
(I don't know you're actual name! :( fill me in!)!!!

lol, actual name is LeGrand, but most call me LG for short :)

GUNS
04-18-13, 10:54 am
Thanks guys :)

I was still a bit off, edgy, down, whatever but kept tellin myself it'd all be ok once I got to the gym. I kicked my own ass, I'm proud to say. Ill sleep like a rock.

Barbell bicep curls 20reps ss medicine ball throw downs 20reps, 4 sets 40 and 45# on the curls, 12# on the throw downs (I usually do 15-20 but LA only goes to 12)

Cleans (had an acquaintance coaching me through these to make sure I was spot on) 4sets of 20, 45-50#

Cable curls 20reps ss hanging leg raises 25reps (body weight) 4sets, 1@ 30#, 2@ 40#, last @ 50#

Then I threw in 4 sets of reverse curls 2@ 20# and 2@ 30#

And finished w EZ bar curls, my back and shoulders pressed against a wall to ensure I kept for 4sets, 30#, ranging from 10-15reps

I walked out feeling better than when I walked in. THAT is what I love about training.


Something funny just hit me: I am my own worst hater... But at least now I know poor nutrition has been amplifying everything :) Boo on you hypoglycemia!! At least I didn't crash into a seizure; silver lining!

Those cleans are gonna leave me feeling like a 90 yr old tomorrow for sure. I really need to work on my grip.

Again, thanks for the support Dee, Jimmy, Extreme (I don't know you're actual name! :( fill me in!)!!! It's good to know I've got people rootin for me and who think better of me than I do at times. That's what family's about though, right? Family loves you when you can't even love yourself. Can't thank you all enough :)Definately here to support in any way!

Thats a good looking day in the gym! Your not gonna be able to use your arms much either old girl(90 y/o woman referance)! Lol!

GUNS
04-18-13, 10:58 am
Like I said, we were not brought up to hate, but I know I was brought up to give second chances (and thirds, and fourths, etc) to a fault... I kept my mouth shut for fear that my hubby would feel inferior. I took the pain and he lived the glory. Co-dependence to a T.... I was able to recognize it in my second marriage and if I was hurting, I said something (so I thought)... My 2nd hubby was a wonderful man, kind, caring, sensitive, etc... To a fault... I didn't like THAT either... I was the one dealing with issues because he allowed people to walk on him... and as much as I want to deny it, that included me (that hurts to say, but I can't deny it. In the end, 75% of the reason for my second divorce was MY fault. There were issues that we had that he knew about, but didn't try to fix. An attempt would have been feasible, but he also was in denial. There are things that I needed that he didn't provide, because he thought of it as a less important factor in a successful marriage. I myself, on the other hand, knew what I was missing and sought it out myself... Not right, not fair, but I did.)

Back to you...lol. I understand the anger, but I also understand your way of thinking. We just get to a boiling point where we do not like to be, but don't know how to change it, because it's second nature now. IF we speak up, we are now naggers, complainers, labeled a hypocrite, and more than likely just being bitchy... No, we too have a voice, we just wait TOO long to speak. I know that you had been trying to get your point across and in your case, he was in denial... Sometimes it's difficult to see when it starts or how to fix it once the levy breaks...

We are here for you, this is what makes this place unique... If you go through my journey, that's exactly what it is, a journey. I don't want to start a new one because it is me... It is what has MADE me ME... Preps have not been easy, and it's not even the prepping part, it's LIFE in general... I look back from time to time and see the support given here, when my life was at it's rockiest... Believe me, these guys here have helped me carry my burden, helped build me up, and helped me get through some of the toughest/lowest times of my life... I cannot repay what that means to me...

We gotcha girl...

Im learning things about you two every day!

MAB
04-18-13, 6:44 pm
Gah Dee you're totally right. I know when we first started out things were good... But when we got to our first major disagreement things went south. There was a lot going on at that time, a lot of stressors, and he latches on to those thinking that acknowledging those stressors as the cause makes it all ok and we should be able to move on from it... But the thing is we argued and argued, went in circle after circle until I finally thought, "ok ill just bite my tongue, ill eat this one and lets move on." I didn't realize what that decision did. That it killed a little piece of me and let him think that he was right and everything is ok.

Since then I slowly lost pieces of myself and my voice to the point that even now it's hard for me to maintain conversation with people in general. Even now we just go round for round, but I'm done laying down... I'm trying to be cool and patient until he can set up counseling through the VA, but I know that he doesn't want the counseling. He doesn't view things the way that I do. One thing I'm sure of is that I keep getting closer and closer to the point where I will say, "screw you," and walk away, consequences and feelings be damned.

But it seriously sucks the life right out of you. And you're so right. I've been told I'm being cold, bitchy, why can't I just let things go, why am I holding onto resentment, the things I'm so hurt over have been explained, I misunderstood all of them bc they were all FB messages or texts and why can't I just let it all stay in the past? I could go on and on...

MAB
04-18-13, 6:54 pm
Definately here to support in any way!

Thats a good looking day in the gym! Your not gonna be able to use your arms much either old girl(90 y/o woman referance)! Lol!


Haha, well like you said below, you're learning more and more every day... I did shoulders today :) I wanna be a pretty beast one day Jimmy, so I've gotta put in the work now.

Overhead barbell press 20reps 45#, 20reps 50#, 18reps 55#, 17reps 60# ss with med ball throws 20reps 12#

Side laterals 20reps 12# DBS for 2sets, 18 then 15 reps 15# DBS ss Plate raises 20reps 20#, 20reps 25# x2, 15reps 20#

Abs on decline bench ss hanging leg raises 20 reps each, 4 sets

THEN I added reverse overhead bb press 25#, 30#, 40#, 45# all to failure SS with 6ways to failure (I didn't even count on the 6 ways... In between sets it probably looked like I was tryin to make my pecs dance bc I was SHAKING haha)



Im learning things about you two every day!


Anything you wanna know, just ask... I know myself, I'm pretty much an open book :) When are you and Wendy comin to Mason?

GUNS
04-18-13, 7:22 pm
Its gonna be a while! Daughter is in her softball season and we are traveling like crazy! Only a few weeks left. Then I got to find a job! Uggggh!

MAB
04-18-13, 9:19 pm
Its gonna be a while! Daughter is in her softball season and we are traveling like crazy! Only a few weeks left. Then I got to find a job! Uggggh!


Oh no!! Enjoy your few weeks then! Hit it hard in the gym and spend quality time with the family!

MAB
04-18-13, 9:19 pm
Oh no!! Enjoy your few weeks then! Hit it hard in the gym and spend quality time with the family!


And don't forget to give that grand baby lots of kisses! :)

GUNS
04-18-13, 10:36 pm
Oh no!! Enjoy your few weeks then! Hit it hard in the gym and spend quality time with the family!


And don't forget to give that grand baby lots of kisses! :)

You got it! We'll see about the job, hahaha!

UnknownGuardian
04-18-13, 11:24 pm
I love it when someone can express the selves so eloquently and freely. Partly because its difficult for me to do so. So if you don't mind I would like to come along your "Journey" to both learn and help as much as I can. From what I've read your very passionate and that's one thing that will help you get through with the many chlanges that life will put in your way. I know because I myself have done this. Even though I still stuggle with my own challanges, just knowing that I have all these brothers and sister here in this FORUM gives me the Strength, Will, Motivation, and other word that means action taken towards a better life. Thank you for sharing your "Journey" with us.

MAB
04-19-13, 6:10 am
I love it when someone can express the selves so eloquently and freely. Partly because its difficult for me to do so. So if you don't mind I would like to come along your "Journey" to both learn and help as much as I can. From what I've read your very passionate and that's one thing that will help you get through with the many chlanges that life will put in your way. I know because I myself have done this. Even though I still stuggle with my own challanges, just knowing that I have all these brothers and sister here in this FORUM gives me the Strength, Will, Motivation, and other word that means action taken towards a better life. Thank you for sharing your "Journey" with us.


You're definitely welcome! Like I've said, I welcome the tough love, constructive criticism, and any input you all feel like sharin with me :). And I have a feeling ill be sharing more before the summer's over. Just like there's always the possibility for things to get better there's always the possibility things will get worse, though I try and look on the brighter side.

So welcome aboard, UnknownGuardian! Hope you gain something from the ride :)

MAB
04-19-13, 7:34 pm
Back and tris today... Functioning on about 4 crappy hours of sleep. Bleh!

Asked my kids today what color my hair was and one little boy said, "you hair is gray, Kel!" I laughed so hard... Maybe one day ill be a gray fox, but I secretly want platinum white hair a la Tark. I love the things my two year olds say... They are hilarious.

Bought myself a rug today... I know that's random, maybe weird, but hey... I'm excited about this apartment. If only they'd give me a friggin move in date! Too bad there aren't more Animals in my neck of the woods. Moving in would take only a couple of hours then lol :)

Craziness ensued this morning on my drive into work. Not really pertaining to my life directly, but it got me thinking about myself and put a few things into perspective for me. Funny how those things work out... Dee ill have to fill you in later :)

Ya ever ask a question of someone and then later realize just how retarded it was? If you had stopped and thought things through you probably wouldn't have asked it... Yup, happens to me quite a bit. I could quite possibly be the smartest dumb person you'll ever meet ;)


Gonna post a little later, after I eat. When my brain has some fuel.

MAB
04-19-13, 8:22 pm
“She didn't understand that. "How can anyone be afraid of love?"
"How can they not?" His face was completely aghast. "When you love someone... truly love them, friend or lover, you lay your heart open to them. You give them a part of yourself that you give to no one else, and you let them inside a part of you that only they can hurt—you literally hand them the razor with a map of where to cut deepest and most painfully on your heart and soul. And when they do strike, it's crippling—like having your heart carved out. It leaves you naked and exposed, wondering what you did to make them want to hurt you so badly when all you did was love them. What is so wrong with you that no one can keep faith with you? That no one can love you? To have it happen once is bad enough... but to have it repeated? Who in their right mind would not be terrified of that?”
― Sherrilyn Kenyon, Devil May Cry


Kenyon is absolutely one of my favorite authors. I could read her books over and over again. I love her characters, I love their names (one day, if I have kids, they will be named after characters in her books), and I love her style of writing and what she writes about. This quote is from a book with one of my fave characters, Zarek.

I think true strength is doing something that you know could end up hurting you, but taking that chance, throwing caution to the wind and diving right in with a stupid grin on your face. I think that you should never regret something that once made you smile... I think that strength is exactly what that quote says, putting your faith in someone, telling them your deepest darkest secrets and trusting that they will have your back.

I tend to be an open book. I'm not saying that I'm the strongest person out there, far from it. But for me it's easy to trust in people, it's easy for me to wear my heart on my sleeve. I look at it like maybe someone will learn from my mistakes, maybe my darkest days will help someone else put perspective to their own life. Guess you could best describe me like a pet... a dog. I'll be loyal and trusting until you give me good reason not to. Even then it'll take a few strikes for me to learn, bc it's easy for me to forgive up to a point.

I dunno... I just wanted to share this passage from a book I love. Maybe it'll speak to someone.

UnknownGuardian
04-19-13, 10:29 pm
I know tht feeling all to well, the one where you put yourself out into the unknown. The unknown where anything can happen. I believe that it comes with the territory of life. If your not risking yourself somehow then your never going to know why it feels like to live. And therefore you cease to grow as person and eventually stop living. It's amazing that you don't see it in this place ( The Forum). People jump into the uncertain everyday. That's why we grow (Physicaly, Mentally, Spiratually).

MAB
04-20-13, 8:33 am
I know tht feeling all to well, the one where you put yourself out into the unknown. The unknown where anything can happen. I believe that it comes with the territory of life. If your not risking yourself somehow then your never going to know why it feels like to live. And therefore you cease to grow as person and eventually stop living. It's amazing that you don't see it in this place ( The Forum). People jump into the uncertain everyday. That's why we grow (Physicaly, Mentally, Spiratually).


Exactly! When it comes to myself I have little fear, but when it comes to hurting others... it's the main thing on. My mind when making life altering decisions. LoL but myself? "I'd rather live one day as a lion than a thousand as a sheep." Like you said, UG, how else are you gonna know you're alive? (I think I'll start calling you Ugg or Eugene, lol... Totally leasing!)



Well I woke up at 7:29 on my own today, remembered that Domichi and Trebin were gettin together at 8:30 and thought, "I can make it!" Grabbed my merde, went out the door, fired up the jeep, and punched the addy in my TomTom (seein as how I'm directionally challenged I rely on this thing soooo much). TT said, "1 hour and 29 mins to destination." I thought, "awwwweeee.... Merde." Unpacked my stuff and crawled back into bed.

Eh, I guess it's for the best. I wouldn't have had any breakfast. I really want to do a log press there though :) I do have things I keep putting off... I could do those today and tomorrow. I need to finish my LinkedIn profile and my ReapOhio profile. I also need to start going through my storage tubs and fishing out what I want to drag to my apartment with me.

I honestly can not wait. I love being minutes from work, my gyms, Kroger marketplace, health and supplement stores. It'll make my days a lot easier and allot me more time in the day to do things I need to get done before this summer. PLUS I love decorating!!!! Love creative merde no matter what it is :)

UnknownGuardian
04-20-13, 8:39 pm
[QUOTE=MAB;1313448]Exactly! When it comes to myself I have little fear, but when it comes to hurting others... it's the main thing on. My mind when making life altering decisions. LoL but myself? "I'd rather live one day as a lion than a thousand as a sheep." Like you said, UG, how else are you gonna know you're alive? (I think I'll start calling you Ugg or Eugene, lol... Totally leasing!)

LMAO!!!! I don't have a nick name. So I guess it would be good for me to intrduce myself. My name is David. Nice to meet you. Lol

MAB
04-20-13, 9:28 pm
LMAO!!!! I don't have a nick name. So I guess it would be good for me to intrduce myself. My name is David. Nice to meet you. Lol


Nice to meet you as well :) Name's Mikel, in case didn't catch it.

MAB
04-20-13, 10:54 pm
A few things have thrown me for a loop this past month. Things that you hear people say, but you don't fully grasp until you experience them for yourself. Example: chatting with Tark and Domichi on the way home from the Cleveland ABC and realizing Tark knows my husband and his family... Small World syndrome.

But a recent realization has not only pulled my head outta my arse, but got me thinking a bit more clearly as well. It came to my attention Thursday that a friend of mine is not making the best of decisions, she's spiraling downward and some unfortunate soul is gettin caught in the cross fire of all her insecurities and uncertainty.

Now #1 this shows me why growing up I had more guy friends than girlfriends. If she were a guy I'd level with her, she may be momentarily pissed with me for calling her out, but we'd eventually be good. Guys don't tend to be catty or hold onto bs.

#2 it helped me see how months ago I was spiraling outta control and grasping, clawing unfairly to persons in my life... Putting them in positions that they didn't sign on for.

It's weird to think I had this epiphany, in a way, of my own doing as I introduced the friends who caused it. Weird how the world goes 'round if you pay attention. Since this clarity I've apologized to the person I was psycho with... I'm not the type of person to sulk when I know I'm in the wrong. I think of it this way: Art is life. Life is about making mistakes and art is knowing which mistakes to keep. Therefore to fully live life you need to know which mistakes to own up to, aplogize for, and release and which mistakes to smile at and accept. Without these mistakes you'll never learn, you'll never grow, and aren't we all about being the best people we can possibly be here?



On a funnier note today I was going through a drive through (don't ask) and the kid at the window (bc there's no way he was much older than 20 if that) had me confused... When I drove away all I could think was, "we're you just being nice, we're you flirting with me, or could you possibly be gay?" (Hope no one takes that last part the wrong way, if you do I'll explain my reasoning, just lemme know, I promise no offense is intended). I was talking to a girlfriend about it today and se laughed saying I'm going to be screwed if I ever end up in the dating scene again and that's probably true.

Although I don't see that happening for a very long time if at all. I think I'm just burned the f out. It's odd that if any male starts to show interest in me other than friends my hackles raise, I'm on the guard, and almost pissy.


Keep your fingers crossed for me on this apartment and getting a move in date this week. I'm gonna start phone stalking them until they give me my move in date.

I could also use advice on how to tell H about me gettin my own place. Male insight welcome. I know he'd be more comfortable with that type of conversation at his apt, but I'm not 100% on how he'll react. I don't think he'd ever get physical, but isn't that what they all say? I know I'm a big girl; I'm not some lil' 5'4" 110# thing, but a big guy is a big guy and, well, there's a reason in the Marines they called him Bruno. I feel the adult thing is to say something in person, it's just the when and where that I'm unsure of...

Eh anyways... Future training could get fun :) I kinda dropped a secret today... Well see what comes of this :)

MAB
04-21-13, 3:57 pm
I bought a couch!!! :) and a chest of drawers and mattress set :)

It was a good deal, I couldn't pass it up.

UnknownGuardian
04-21-13, 9:28 pm
I bought a couch!!! :) and a chest of drawers and mattress set :)

It was a good deal, I couldn't pass it up.

Awesome,
Your ahead of me and I've been living here since November. Lol

deanna7272
04-21-13, 9:48 pm
Not 5'4"???? Get out??? Never woulda guessed....lol (love ya). Listen, 5'4" or 10 feet tall, he better not cross THAT line... There's no real reason that you should HAVE to tell him anything, really... He has showed no just cause that he wants to "work" on things (counseling, as you suggested) so maybe this will let him know that you mean business... Not saying that you are using that as a leverage point, but it sunds as if he thinks you are bluffing...

Did it know that Tark knew him... Small World...

GUNS
04-21-13, 9:55 pm
Wouldnt tell him! Why, no need whatsoever!

UnknownGuardian
04-22-13, 7:03 pm
[QUOTE=MAB;1313876]LoL I'm on a roll so you better get with the program. I bought two decorative pillows today! I'm loving all these soft spring tones:grays, blues, greens, yellow, and pale orange are definitely floating my boat :) I've always been a fan of lighter colors with pops of really vibrant deep blues. I also love natural fibers like jute rugs, burlap, unbleached cotton, canvas, etc... My mom says my style is kinda manly lol


I’m glad that all these things are bringing you happiness. And don’t worry I will catch up. Little by little but I will. Next item on the list is a foam roller. And maybe another inflatable bed. My current one a lump in it. LOL

Extreme
04-23-13, 9:11 am
I think true strength is doing something that you know could end up hurting you, but taking that chance, throwing caution to the wind and diving right in with a stupid grin on your face.

In one of your posts just below this one you asked for a guys perspective on how to tell your husband that you're getting your own apartment, but it looks as though you may have answered your own question with what you stated above.

And I respect you for actually wanting to tell him what you're doing. In the past I came from a relationship in which my ex tried to hide as much as she possibly could from me. There was absolutely no communication from her, and in the end it was the secrets that she kept that dissolved our relationship. I learned a very valuable lesson in seeing just how important communication can be in ANY relationship.

GUNS
04-23-13, 5:48 pm
How you doing in here?

UnknownGuardian
04-23-13, 6:23 pm
How you doing in here?

Beat me to the punch once again. LOL

MAB
04-23-13, 7:08 pm
In one of your posts just below this one you asked for a guys perspective on how to tell your husband that you're getting your own apartment, but it looks as though you may have answered your own question with what you stated above.

And I respect you for actually wanting to tell him what you're doing. In the past I came from a relationship in which my ex tried to hide as much as she possibly could from me. There was absolutely no communication from her, and in the end it was the secrets that she kept that dissolved our relationship. I learned a very valuable lesson in seeing just how important communication can be in ANY relationship.


LoL yeah, but you know what they say... It's easy to give advice and hard to actually go by your own good advice. I know what feels right for me. I plan on stickin to my guns. We'll see what comes of it.

I'm sorry to hear about your communication mishap! Sometimes my words fail me, sometimes I put my foot in my mouth, but if I can't verbalize what's on my mind writing has always helped me :) That's what I love about this thread. It helps me clear my head, get stuff off my chest, and it actually helps me stay the course.



How you doing in here?


Beat me to the punch once again. LOL

Well yesterday was chest and today was legs :) I'm always frustrated as hell on legs day. Why is it that moves like squats or Deads make me wanna puke my guts up? LoL I also get frustrated bc I feel like I should be doing heavier weight than what I am, but it's a bit of a struggle with the amount of reps I'm doing per set.

I'm also frustrated as hell over my grip. You would think having long freakin fingers would be a plus. I've stopped using my versa grips. I was using them for a while bc the frustration just got the best of me. I got tired of my grip failing before the actual muscles I was using. I know on lat pull downs my grip doesn't seem to be much of an issue anymore. I'm hoping dead lifts will follow suit. Pull ups I'm always having trouble with sweaty palms :-/ Maybe chalk? (Which none of my gyms have.)

So far this week has been going at a steady pace. It's "spirit" week at work. Yesterday was hat day (wore my yellow Animal flex cap), today was crazy sock day (of which I have plenty), tomorrow's crazy hair day... No clue what Ill do for that, maybe some lopsided pigtails or something. Thursday is inside out & upside down day. The inside out I understand, but how the heck are you supposed to wear something upside down?! Friday is pajama day, I'm wearing my footed monkey pjs :) So far I'm the only teacher participating from my room.

I love dressing up and I love dressing ridiculous. I used to raid my mom's closet for vintage concert tees and my grandmas for horribly gaudy sequined tennis shoes... I had a pair of Adidas shell tops in HS that majority of my classmates autographed and they were my pride and joy til they literally fell apart. I love doing odd things. There's a quote that goes something like, "there is power in looking ridiculous and just not caring." I miss being carefree. It's what I'm working towards.

Something else that has been slightly buggin me is my bench press... Last training cycle I was lifting 115-125# on flat bench press for reps. (Even had a freaking kickass day where I hit 140 for two reps.) I know, again, that I'm doing more reps this go 'round but I've only been able to get up to 85# I know I shouldn't let it bug me... I know the amount of weight isn't always key. Volume can be great too. I also know that I about 95% of what in doing is paired in a superset, so I guess I should be proud of my higher rep 85# superset tend with db flies... God knows by the end of my training sessions I can barely hold onto the steering wheel.

Anyone else love the smell of cut grass? Smells like spring :) I'm weird though... I also love the smell of sawdust. My dad used to do carpentry, just in case you wondered... I've never eaten wood or paint chips, no worries.



I had a thought today on my way out of the gym. Sometimes I like to wear shorts on leg day. My legs are my pet peeve and seeing all the things I want to change in the mirror helps push me. I don't wear them bc I think I'm hot merde or anything, but I couldn't help notice some :-/ looks... My thought was: when you see someone who may look better than you or who has better musculature than you why do you automatically look for the slightest imperfection in that person to make yourself feel better? (Same thing for someone taller than you, or thinner, or someone you consider more attractive.) Why can't we just have a moment of happiness for that Person's accomplishment or just admire their hard work ethic and confidence? Just food for thought I guess.

GUNS
04-23-13, 7:32 pm
Youve been busy! My legs are a weakness but Ive learned to really love doing them! Yep, makes me feel like puking every time! Just have to find out what works for them and exploit that. Mine love high volume. They respond well to reps between 20-100. 100 rep squats really are no fun, but they are also very challenging. Try some leg press, 1 set 20 reps, drop 30 reps, drop 40 reps, drop 50, and on your last set, even if your just pushing the sled, do 100! You will hate me and thank me all at the same time. You can also pre-exhaust them with extensions, 3 sets x 30, followed by squats.

I always used straps to do my back days. I hated my grip failing before my body part. So I strapped up. Then getting into deadlifts, I still never had trouble with my grip. I still use the straps to this day. You should add in a little grip work. Maybe after arms or something.


Just my .02! Just keep doing what your doing, its working!

And I would get in trouble if I went to crazy sock day. Im a huge Red Hot Chili Peppers fan! If you dont know, image search "Red Hot Chili Peppers socks" and you'll see why! And yes, Ive been known to run around like that every now and then! Lol!

MAB
04-23-13, 7:53 pm
Youve been busy! My legs are a weakness but Ive learned to really love doing them! Yep, makes me feel like puking every time! Just have to find out what works for them and exploit that. Mine love high volume. They respond well to reps between 20-100. 100 rep squats really are no fun, but they are also very challenging. Try some leg press, 1 set 20 reps, drop 30 reps, drop 40 reps, drop 50, and on your last set, even if your just pushing the sled, do 100! You will hate me and thank me all at the same time. You can also pre-exhaust them with extensions, 3 sets x 30, followed by squats.

I always used straps to do my back days. I hated my grip failing before my body part. So I strapped up. Then getting into deadlifts, I still never had trouble with my grip. I still use the straps to this day. You should add in a little grip work. Maybe after arms or something.


Just my .02! Just keep doing what your doing, its working!

And I would get in trouble if I went to crazy sock day. Im a huge Red Hot Chili Peppers fan! If you dont know, image search "Red Hot Chili Peppers socks" and you'll see why! And yes, Ive been known to run around like that every now and then! Lol!


Holy friggin crap! They've played concerts like that?!

Actually my squats are superset with leg extensions right now... Maybe that's why I feel like puking! LoL I'm doing Farmers this go round and I'm fairly certain that's mainly a grip thing, at least it freaking feels like a grip thing. And my dumb arse went out and got fluffy as hell hand towels to use, shoulda gotten the thin sand papery ones :-/

Is Wendy done with her audit yet? She really needs to join the Forvm. She was a blast at the Arnold. Ps congrats on your daughter graduating and gettin married! Time really does fly... Before you know it that grand baby will be askin you to take her prom dress shopping! (In my family my grandpa liked to spoil us with dresses and my grandma liked takin us shopping for them.)

And as for busy... The latest split from P has me going every day of the week. I kinda prefer no breaks, I go stir crazy. Active rest days are fine... But I DO know the value of not overtraining. I just do what he says :)

GUNS
04-24-13, 8:43 am
Holy friggin crap! They've played concerts like that?!

Actually my squats are superset with leg extensions right now... Maybe that's why I feel like puking! LoL I'm doing Farmers this go round and I'm fairly certain that's mainly a grip thing, at least it freaking feels like a grip thing. And my dumb arse went out and got fluffy as hell hand towels to use, shoulda gotten the thin sand papery ones :-/

Is Wendy done with her audit yet? She really needs to join the Forvm. She was a blast at the Arnold. Ps congrats on your daughter graduating and gettin married! Time really does fly... Before you know it that grand baby will be askin you to take her prom dress shopping! (In my family my grandpa liked to spoil us with dresses and my grandma liked takin us shopping for them.)

And as for busy... The latest split from P has me going every day of the week. I kinda prefer no breaks, I go stir crazy. Active rest days are fine... But I DO know the value of not overtraining. I just do what he says :)

Yes, that is sort of their "trademark"! Lol!

P knows what he's doing, so definately do what he's got you doing! I forgot you were training under him.

Yeah, she is done with all that for now. But her job has her busy late in the evenings regaurdless. Gone at 6am, and not home till sometimes after im already asleep!

She is really ready to be married! At least she got her college in first.

UnknownGuardian
04-24-13, 11:58 am
LoL yeah, but you know what they say... It's easy to give advice and hard to actually go by your own good advice. I know what feels right for me. I plan on stickin to my guns. We'll see what comes of it.

I'm sorry to hear about your communication mishap! Sometimes my words fail me, sometimes I put my foot in my mouth, but if I can't verbalize what's on my mind writing has always helped me :) That's what I love about this thread. It helps me clear my head, get stuff off my chest, and it actually helps me stay the course.






Well yesterday was chest and today was legs :) I'm always frustrated as hell on legs day. Why is it that moves like squats or Deads make me wanna puke my guts up? LoL I also get frustrated bc I feel like I should be doing heavier weight than what I am, but it's a bit of a struggle with the amount of reps I'm doing per set.

I'm also frustrated as hell over my grip. You would think having long freakin fingers would be a plus. I've stopped using my versa grips. I was using them for a while bc the frustration just got the best of me. I got tired of my grip failing before the actual muscles I was using. I know on lat pull downs my grip doesn't seem to be much of an issue anymore. I'm hoping dead lifts will follow suit. Pull ups I'm always having trouble with sweaty palms :-/ Maybe chalk? (Which none of my gyms have.)

So far this week has been going at a steady pace. It's "spirit" week at work. Yesterday was hat day (wore my yellow Animal flex cap), today was crazy sock day (of which I have plenty), tomorrow's crazy hair day... No clue what Ill do for that, maybe some lopsided pigtails or something. Thursday is inside out & upside down day. The inside out I understand, but how the heck are you supposed to wear something upside down?! Friday is pajama day, I'm wearing my footed monkey pjs :) So far I'm the only teacher participating from my room.

I love dressing up and I love dressing ridiculous. I used to raid my mom's closet for vintage concert tees and my grandmas for horribly gaudy sequined tennis shoes... I had a pair of Adidas shell tops in HS that majority of my classmates autographed and they were my pride and joy til they literally fell apart. I love doing odd things. There's a quote that goes something like, "there is power in looking ridiculous and just not caring." I miss being carefree. It's what I'm working towards.

Something else that has been slightly buggin me is my bench press... Last training cycle I was lifting 115-125# on flat bench press for reps. (Even had a freaking kickass day where I hit 140 for two reps.) I know, again, that I'm doing more reps this go 'round but I've only been able to get up to 85# I know I shouldn't let it bug me... I know the amount of weight isn't always key. Volume can be great too. I also know that I about 95% of what in doing is paired in a superset, so I guess I should be proud of my higher rep 85# superset tend with db flies... God knows by the end of my training sessions I can barely hold onto the steering wheel.

Anyone else love the smell of cut grass? Smells like spring :) I'm weird though... I also love the smell of sawdust. My dad used to do carpentry, just in case you wondered... I've never eaten wood or paint chips, no worries.



I had a thought today on my way out of the gym. Sometimes I like to wear shorts on leg day. My legs are my pet peeve and seeing all the things I want to change in the mirror helps push me. I don't wear them bc I think I'm hot merde or anything, but I couldn't help notice some :-/ looks... My thought was: when you see someone who may look better than you or who has better musculature than you why do you automatically look for the slightest imperfection in that person to make yourself feel better? (Same thing for someone taller than you, or thinner, or someone you consider more attractive.) Why can't we just have a moment of happiness for that Person's accomplishment or just admire their hard work ethic and confidence? Just food for thought I guess.

YesI do love the smell of fresh cut grass and when rain is about to fall and after it falls. Im was born and raised in Fl and thats some of the things I missed most about it. Well that and being at the beach day or night and just sitting there. Like you said dont worry about the wieght to much it comes with time. And I would say not being able to move after training is a good sign. LOL

MAB
04-24-13, 8:21 pm
Biceps today :) Cleans suck arse but I freaking love them. I've only gone up to 50# so far til the motion comes naturally. They get your heart rate up that's for sure.

I've been on a country kick here lately but today in the gym I was alternating between "kids" by Sleigh Bells and that newer song by Fall Out Boy (I like to pick a couple songs, hit repeat, and just zone). Whenever the chorus for the FOB song came on I found myself chanting, "light em up, up, up... light em up, up, up... light em up, up, up... Muscles on FIYAH!!!" If they could broadcast the things that go on in my head it'd be pretty interesting/ amusing.




Yes, that is sort of their "trademark"! Lol!

P knows what he's doing, so definately do what he's got you doing! I forgot you were training under him.

Yeah, she is done with all that for now. But her job has her busy late in the evenings regaurdless. Gone at 6am, and not home till sometimes after im already asleep!

She is really ready to be married! At least she got her college in first.

Soooo I'm curious. How is your bulking gonna work out with a suit or tux for the wedding? LoL Awe I hope you post pics on FB :)

Oh I definitely that he knows his merde :) I totally trust him and have come quite a ways since workin with him.

I hope the Mrs gets a vacation soon then. Then you two can have some quality time before you rejoin the workforce!


YesI do love the smell of fresh cut grass and when rain is about to fall and after it falls. Im was born and raised in Fl and thats some of the things I missed most about it. Well that and being at the beach day or night and just sitting there. Like you said dont worry about the wieght to much it comes with time. And I would say not being able to move after training is a good sign. LOL


I try not to let the numbers get to me. My problem is I get impatient with myself... I wanna just dive in full force without lookin, lol. I've still got quite a ways to go.



My thought for today was about body image. Wondering what people see when they look at you. Do they see the same thing that you do when you look in the mirror? Or is what you see distorted? Could you be thinking you look fantastic and are rockin a new shirt (or something) but look like a total fool? And it could be the opposite, you could have the worst self image ever but you're actually what someone lose would aspire to look like.


Speaking of mirrors, this is part of a poem that appears in the beginning of the book Shattered Mirror:

Beloved gaze in thine own heart.

Gaze no more in the bitter glass
The demons, with their subtle guile,
Lift up before us when they pass,
Or only gaze a little while;
For there a fatal image grows
That the stormy night receives,
Roots half hidden under snows,
Broken boughs and blackened leaves.
For all things turn to barrenness
In the dim glass the demons hold,
The glass of outer weariness,
Made when God slept in times of old.
There, through broken branches, go
The ravens of un resting thought;
Flying, crying, to and fro,
Cruel claw and hungry throat,
Or else they stand and sniff the wind,
And shake their ragged wings; alas!
Thy tender eyes grow all unkind:
Gaze no more in the bitter glass. -Yeats

Thought it was fitting with my thought of the day and this poem and book have been on my mind. I hate that all my books are packed up and in storage. I like being able to have access to them, retread them, reference them. Book nerd :)

MAB
04-24-13, 8:28 pm
Geezey freakin Pete! Sorry for the parts in that post that don't make sense. I love my iPad but for some reason it thinks it knows better than I do...


Should be "someone else" not "someone lose" and it should read "I definitely know he knows his merde"

Haha

GUNS
04-24-13, 8:32 pm
Ill be getting the Tux about a month out from the wedding after my meet, So I guess Ill have to stay huge now, hahaha! Looking into a cruise for our 25th Ann! Sept!

MAB
04-24-13, 9:14 pm
Ill be getting the Tux about a month out from the wedding after my meet, So I guess Ill have to stay huge now, hahaha! Looking into a cruise for our 25th Ann! Sept!


Oh freaking awesome!!! I always get so excited for people when they get to take vacations... I haven't been on an actual vacation since 'bout 2003. I've always thought cruises sound fun, but I dunno how I'd feel about being surrounded by that much water... Where is yours going?

Best buy those doughnuts in bulk then! Wanna make sure that tux fits and you look beefy for your little girls weddin photos!

GUNS
04-24-13, 9:17 pm
Ive been looking into Mexico, or some of the islands down there or both. 4 day or 7, depends. But she has been talking about just driving to Destin Fl for the whole week and just stay on the beach the whole time, which Im down for as well! She also talked about Vegas, and being the Olympia is around then, we may do that then stay a few days extra to play around vegas!

MAB
04-24-13, 9:26 pm
Ive been looking into Mexico, or some of the islands down there or both. 4 day or 7, depends. But she has been talking about just driving to Destin Fl for the whole week and just stay on the beach the whole time, which Im down for as well! She also talked about Vegas, and being the Olympia is around then, we may do that then stay a few days extra to play around vegas!


Well all of the above sounds like an amazing time to me!

MAB
04-26-13, 10:30 pm
Shoulders yesterday, back today... Runnin on fumes so I'm off to bed.

Dee, I <3 u. :).

deanna7272
04-26-13, 10:34 pm
Shoulders yesterday, back today... Runnin on fumes so I'm off to bed.

Dee, I <3 u. :).

I love ya too Dollface... ;-).

((You better memorize that description I gave you... Repeat that in your head, Muscles....lol))

MAB
04-27-13, 9:07 am
I love ya too Dollface... ;-).

((You better memorize that description I gave you... Repeat that in your head, Muscles....lol))

I locked that text in my phone actually :) I do that with certain texts, then go back and read them if I need a smile or boost.

I really feel like I hit a wall last night, just ran full force into it. I feel like the impact knocked the smile right off my face and all the confidence right outta me. And after impact I plopped myself in the mud and just sat there staring at the wall like, "Where the f@ck did you come from?" Reality is a freaking hag, to say the least... And when she hits you that friggin bitch makes your head spin (pardon my French).

At least I can see the finish line now... Got it in my sights. Just have to pace myself.

I'm coming to terms with a lot of my feelings and the choices that I'm faced with. I know that I am tired of feeling numb... I'm tired of having a blank face and just shutting down, of being a shell. The MOST important thing (to me) that occurred once I was well into my training was the confidence boost, feeling great about myself, smiling more, standing straighter, and looking back at that transformation you can see that I started to shine again, there was a light to my eyes.

Now all that might sound shallow to others... That weight training and sculpting my body breathed life back into me, but it did, and I will be forever grateful for the events that brought me to the starting line.

Pain is weakness leaving the body... That saying doesn't just apply to physical pain.



********************************************

Training yesterday... I'm proud of myself. I muscled through my frustrations with my grip and left my Versas at the house. I was pretty proud that after my Farmers my grip held out pretty well for my superset of Deads and lat pull downs. I only went to 115# on my Deads and 90# on my PDs but for the amount of reps I was doing and only having to readjust my grip maybe twice... I'm happy :)

I'm sore and content this mornin... I'm missing my little furrball really badly though. I seriously have the coolest cat ever. He plays fetch better than most dogs, growls and charges the front door if someone knocks, and he follows me everywhere. I'm sure being separated for the time being sucks as much for him as it does for me... It's weird how you can love something so small so much :) how coming home to their little furry faces and meows or barks greeting you make you feel loved and missed. There's also the benefit that they lower your blood pressure and help calm and comfort you. Awe... Furrbabies :)


Work to get done today.

MAB
04-27-13, 9:21 am
"The phoenix hope, can wing her way through the desert skies,
still defying fortune's spite; revive from ashes and rise." -Miguel de Cervantes




I'm a multifaceted person. Then again, who isn't? I can be introverted and I can be extroverted. When an obstacle is placed in front of me I may study it for a time before overcoming it or there are times that I'm brash and plow right through whatever's in my way without a care of who gets run over in the process. I work well under pressure. My "house keeping" style is organized chaos (I like my piles, but you better believe that I know where everything is). I can be take charge, but I'm fine with letting someone else have control of the reins as well. When formulating a plan of action I like to know what's expected of me or what I should expect... I like to be prepared, but then sometimes the surprise is half the fun. You might just say I'm a beautiful mess, I've heard many creative souls described as such.


Some things from last night made me think of my original post... about being a multifaceted person. You can be a shy person who's outgoing sometimes... You can be a low maintenance gal who enjoys dressing up from time to time. You can be a happy-go-lucky individual who sometimes let's the weight of the world crush them. You can be a big ass hulk-strong beast of a man who likes to be hugged and to cuddle. You can be multiple things and not be a freak or have something wrong with you or be a liar...

Just sayin.

deanna7272
04-27-13, 12:17 pm
I'm missing my Howie too... Just a few more hours and I get to see my little guy... :-)

MAB
04-27-13, 3:55 pm
I'm missing my Howie too... Just a few more hours and I get to see my little guy... :-)

Jealous :)

deanna7272
04-27-13, 6:44 pm
Jealous :)

I knew you would be... ;-)

MAB
04-28-13, 7:26 pm
Heard something today that stuck with me... "I don't know what I should do, I only know what I can do."


Tris yesterday, cardio craziness today... Love the cardio crazy routines I get...


Feelin dark and broody right now. Isn't there some Japanese proverb or saying about two creatures within us constantly in battle... A tiger and a dragon I think. It's vague in my mind.

I'm going to swallow it all up, soak in it, be silent, think, feel....

MAB
04-28-13, 10:18 pm
Book nerding it up with something I JUST bought today and I've already got my highlighter out and have dogeared a few pages...

"We can do hard things. I thought a lot about how beautiful and powerful courage and faith are when they are found together. I thought, maybe I could be courageous and faithful, in my own little way."


"Don't lie there and think - thinking is the kiss of death for us - just move. Take a shower. Sing while you're in there. Make yourself sing. The stupider you feel, the better. Giggle at yourself, alone. Joy for its own sake - joy just for you, created by you - it's the best. Find yourself amusing."

:) I love making myself laugh... I love being lighthearted and goofy, but sometimes life gets hard and I forget to laugh, sometimes I forget to breath. Sometimes I forget to shine and I get all dark, sad, and painful... But that's life, that's me; Ill take the bad bc without the bad or the dark I wouldn't value the good or my own light.

"Defrosting is excruciatingly painful. You have been numb for so long. As feeling comes back to your soul, you start to tingle, and it's uncomfortable and strange. But then the tingles start feeling like daggers. Sadness, loss, fear, anger, anxiety... you feel them for the first time. And it's horrific at first, to tell you the damn truth. But welcoming the pain and refusing to escape from it is the only way to recover. You can't go around it, you can't go over it, you have to go through it... If you allow the defrosting process to take place - if you trust that it will work and choose to endure the pain - one day you will get your soul back."

Speaks volumes to me... Hopeful volumes that I will hold on to...

GUNS
04-28-13, 11:56 pm
Need a like button!

UnknownGuardian
04-29-13, 12:39 am
Book nerding it up with something I JUST bought today and I've already got my highlighter out and have dogeared a few pages...

"We can do hard things. I thought a lot about how beautiful and powerful courage and faith are when they are found together. I thought, maybe I could be courageous and faithful, in my own little way."


"Don't lie there and think - thinking is the kiss of death for us - just move. Take a shower. Sing while you're in there. Make yourself sing. The stupider you feel, the better. Giggle at yourself, alone. Joy for its own sake - joy just for you, created by you - it's the best. Find yourself amusing."

:) I love making myself laugh... I love being lighthearted and goofy, but sometimes life gets hard and I forget to laugh, sometimes I forget to breath. Sometimes I forget to shine and I get all dark, sad, and painful... But that's life, that's me; Ill take the bad bc without the bad or the dark I wouldn't value the good or my own light.

"Defrosting is excruciatingly painful. You have been numb for so long. As feeling comes back to your soul, you start to tingle, and it's uncomfortable and strange. But then the tingles start feeling like daggers. Sadness, loss, fear, anger, anxiety... you feel them for the first time. And it's horrific at first, to tell you the damn truth. But welcoming the pain and refusing to escape from it is the only way to recover. You can't go around it, you can't go over it, you have to go through it... If you allow the defrosting process to take place - if you trust that it will work and choose to endure the pain - one day you will get your soul back."

Speaks volumes to me... Hopeful volumes that I will hold on to...
Thank you fir this post. Its always great to be reminded of things that are so easily forgotten. Did you ever find me?

MAB
04-29-13, 9:15 pm
Need a like button!

:)

Been thinking bout you and the family Jimmy! Looks like the graduation went smoothly. Next up: weddin or anniversary?


Thank you fir this post. Its always great to be reminded of things that are so easily forgotten. Did you ever find me?

I'm sorry! I haven't been on FB since your most recent pm... Ill add it to my "to do" :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I got through today's session... Chest. Getting through kinda p's me off, but I put in the work and that's what matters. Last time I checked my clock last night (as I stared at the ceiling, restless) it said 2:40 am... My alarm is set for 5:45. You can imagine my frustration... I do not do well on little sleep.

I dunno what the deal was... Maybe it was my ever growing "to do" list running through my mind... Or pictures that someone put in my head right before bed, LOL. Either way, suffice it to say, I'm so friggin tired I dunno that I'll be able to sleep tonight :)

Anywho, this book I just bought is simply amazing. It's about dropping the facade of perfection, owning up to our faults, mistakes, and shortcomings AND through all that helping others become more comfortable in their own skin and with their own less than perfect lives. I've highlighted so much, there's so much I want to share :) I know some people aren't book readers, but maybe sharing things that spoke to me on here will inadvertently help someone else, maybe speak to their soul and lift them up...

The author started one passage with a quote by Viktor E. Frankl, "What is to give light must endure burning." I thought how cool given the title of my thread and first few quotes being about rising from ashes. I feel that idea pertains to many on this Forvm. We've all been between a rock and a hard place at some point... Many of the athletes on here are recovering from major injuries, from being told they'd never lift again (or shouldn't)... It's crazy the power of mind over matter... The human body is remarkable, but it's the soul and the will that are truly earth shattering.

But the idea that whatever is to bring light should be able to endure burning... what a concept. Burn with reckless abandon, burn without a care or fear of burning yourself completely out... Give all you've got, give to others, shine your light on them and be uplifting without expecting anything in return. Ideals we often fall short of.

One large passage that spoke to me was this:
"If you are blessed enough to be someone's In Case of Emergency and you are called upon, keep being who you have always been. Do what you've always done. There is a reason your friend chose you for that role, so don't freeze. Keep moving. Trust your instincts.
Go to them. Don't call first, because they won't know they want you there until you arrive and sit down. Don't ask, 'what can I do?' They don't know. Just do something. When you go to them, bring a movie in case they don't want to talk. If they do want to talk, avoid saying things to diminish or explain away their pain, like, 'everything happens for a reason,' or 'time heals all wounds,' or 'God gives us only what we can handle.' These are things people say when they don't know what else to say, and even if they're true, they're better left unsaid bc they can be discovered only in retrospect.
When their pain is fresh and new, let them have it. Don't try to take it away. Forgive yourself for not having that power. Grief and pain are like joy and peace; they are not things we should try to snatch from each other. They're sacred. They are part of each persons journey. All we can do is offer relief from this fear: I am all alone."

This actually made me smile and disarmed me at he same time... I was that In Case of Emergency within the last year. I acted, I didn't think, I just did me... After the whole thing went down, after I was done being my friend's rock, once I was in the safety of my home and alone... I crumbled. It felt oddly comforting looking back on it now (the crumbling that is).

But now I find myself in the position of maybe needing help... But I'm the type of person who doesn't want to be a burden. I also know that the last few sentences are so very true. I want to hold on to all this pain for a little while longer. I know that the people i would normally call upon would want to take away all the hurt and ugly. I know no one can make it go away... After its all said and done i will grow, I will learn.

There's something oddly liberating about being broken (or even just slightly cracked) and not caring.


"The heart that breaks open can contain the universe," Joanna Macy



I'm so very thankful to have found this place full of kindred souls. I was searching for a place to find like minded friends, mentors, and family. All three are here. I'm looking for nothing more and nothing less. I hope I can put smiles on your faces and comfort in your hearts in return :)

GUNS
04-29-13, 9:46 pm
Wedding! Lol! Sucksabout the sleep! That shit is going around like hotcakes!

Smiles all around! =D

MAB
04-30-13, 6:18 am
Slept well today... Actual food in the fridge. It's Tuesday, almost midway through my last week. I can feel it... Today WILL be kick arse :)

UnknownGuardian
04-30-13, 7:36 am
Slept well today... Actual food in the fridge. It's Tuesday, almost midway through my last week. I can feel it... Today WILL be kick arse :)

Wooohhhhoooo!!!!!!!! :)

Extreme
04-30-13, 8:46 am
:) I love making myself laugh... I love being lighthearted and goofy, but sometimes life gets hard and I forget to laugh, sometimes I forget to breath. Sometimes I forget to shine and I get all dark, sad, and painful... But that's life, that's me; Ill take the bad bc without the bad or the dark I wouldn't value the good or my own light.

These words ring loud and clear!! AMEN to it all! haha. I know our circumstances are different, and yet our feelings are mutual. Crazy how life can do that to ya.

Kowboy
04-30-13, 11:56 am
Subbed, not sure why I wasn't before. Gotta get you lifting w/ us one of these Saturdays before my surgery!

MAB
04-30-13, 9:04 pm
These words ring loud and clear!! AMEN to it all! haha. I know our circumstances are different, and yet our feelings are mutual. Crazy how life can do that to ya.


LoL EXACTLY!!! Case in point, the author of the book I've been quoting is a recovering alcoholic, drug addict, and bolemic (I know I spelled it wrong, ugh!) AND mother of 3... Sooo our lives are VERY different and yet her words, thoughts, and feelings mirror mine in so many ways.

If they're ringin true to you and lifting your spirits a bit then I'm happy :). Hope things are goin better for you LG!



Subbed, not sure why I wasn't before. Gotta get you lifting w/ us one of these Saturdays before my surgery!

LoL you've just got to give me more of a heads up :) As of the 8th Ill be a bit closer to Cbus and not so burnt out on driving. And you know you and Chris are always totally welcome my way! I've got gyms that will be free to ya. Aaaand maybe we could try for a Sunday (either here or there) sometime so AJ can bring his wife! Will your wife ever make it out?

Anywho, welcome aboard! Feel free to bust my chops any time :) Ill get your way soon enough.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Mmmmmm today was legs. Leg day is a serious love/ hate relationship. It's just about the only day the language in my head would make a sailor blush. Today's song of choice was Gaelic Thunder's "Kiss me I'm Irish," which was odd... Normally I need something with a quicker beat or jazzier tunes (like Buble) on leg day. Blah!

Warm up, superset, superset, and superset. Last superset had hip thrusts in it... Now I love these (they freaking suck), but I hate doing them with the 5 o'clock mad cardio rush... People stare, eh maybe more like men stare and women glare... One young gun actually walked by (closer than necessary) with his friend, looked me dead in the eye and smirked with a raised eyebrow. Now in the past that would have bothered me on a different level than it did today. In the past I would have gotten all insecure and tried to make my 5'11" 160# self as small and unnoticeable as possible... Maybe id even get a little red in the face. Today the look I gave said it all, "fuck off." I've been thinking this for a while and next week I'm going to make myself one... I need a tee that says, "not here for your viewing pleasure," seein as how most guys in the gym (and again I say MOST, not all) seem to think the women are just there to be pretty or get noticed/ pick guys up...

I'm definitely not there to look pretty (or get any numbers, except for, of course, the PR type of #s^_-lol). Mostly only older men or women even try to talk to me. I had an older gentleman smile at me last week and say, "it's ok to smile, ya know?" I laughed, gave him a head nod, and was on to my next set. I make weird faces when I lift... I'm definitely not there to look pretty. Maybe obnoxious with my bright gym clothes and mismatched socks and shoes... But definitely not pretty :) and I'm proud of that.

Rant done... Legs killed and one day closer to a degree of liberation :) I can't friggin wait!

GUNS
04-30-13, 10:45 pm
I love doing legs after a long time of not liking them. And yes its ok to =D! Although I dont much either!

MAB
05-01-13, 9:56 pm
For some reason this week is kicking my butt and not in a good way. I just feel utterly exhausted. Today I did biceps... I was leaving work and my coworker asked, "headed to the gym?" And my response was a weary and heartfelt, "I dunno..."

BUT this morning I happened to have put on a new shirt. A men's tank that is bright orange and in bold black letters says, "BEEF CAKE," and walking out of work I caught a few awkward stares from some parents, I looked down and thought to myself, "well if I'm gonna wear a shirt that says BEEF CAKE I damn well better BE a beef cake." Went to the gym and got it done :)

I want to point out two things in this post.

One: I don't post specifics on my training bc I pay for my splits. My guy is kick ass and super busy so I'm not going to post his shit for people to snag for free... specially when I'm payin for it. I love y'all, but not that much ;) So just trust me. I'm puttin in the work. AND if you've seen posts where I do post reps, sets, weight, etc its bc I pulled that outta my own head :)


Two: I haven't really been going to other people's threads during the week as much bc I'm working later, gettin back later, and am just purely dead by the end of it all... So I come here to my thread, post what's on my mind, and hit the hay. I promise things will calm down soon and this won't all be so one sided :)


On a book note, one of my biggest concerns came up today... Quote: "I read somewhere that God sends us partners who are most likely to help us heal. This rings true to me. IT'S JUST THAT SOMETIMES THE HEALING IS SO HARD THAT ONE OR BOTH PARTNERS CAN'T TAKE IT, SO SOMEBODY BAILS, OR MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR THE OTHER PARTNER TO KEEP ON LOVING."

Friggin wow :) Someone always says it better! And a little voice inside of me is silent for the first time in a while... A voice of insecurity, of uncertainty, nagging... calling me weak, selfish, a quitter... A friend told me that a need is not selfish, so if I'm doing what I need to then all is well. And those words helped, they got me thinking in a new direction and this quote just reiterated what my friend was saying. But I will forever be the person who feels badly for hurting others or putting myself first... It's just how I am. Doesn't mean I won't do what I need to, though. Ill muscle my way through it, just like I did my weariness today in the gym.

"Thankfully, when we turn away someone who would have helped us heal, God sends another. I don't think he punishes us. He gives us lots and lots of tries. God is Forever Tries. I think he sends our healing partners in all different forms, not just spouses. He sends sisters, brothers, girlfriends, strangers, authors, artists, teachers, therapists, musicians, and puppies until one or several partners stick."

A hopeful outlook I'm going to adopt :)

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At work the other day, during lunch with my critters, one of my little boyfriends said, "Hey Kel, I drink my milk... I drink my milk so my muscles get big and strong." He smiled at me... little blond haired cutie with a lopsided grin and sparkling blue eyes.

I responded, "milk makes your muscles bigger!?" He shook his head. "Do you have muscles, (insert name)?"

"Yeah! I got big muscles, see?" And he flexed... I laughed so hard, told him I loved him and his big boy muscles... (He then turned and flexed for the little girl sitting beside him, asked if she saw his muscles and she smiled and flexed hers back at him) He's being raised to be an all star baseball and football kid, all American kid according to mom. Future meathead :)

Kowboy
05-01-13, 11:15 pm
LoL you've just got to give me more of a heads up :) As of the 8th Ill be a bit closer to Cbus and not so burnt out on driving. And you know you and Chris are always totally welcome my way! I've got gyms that will be free to ya. Aaaand maybe we could try for a Sunday (either here or there) sometime so AJ can bring his wife! Will your wife ever make it out?

Anywho, welcome aboard! Feel free to bust my chops any time :) Ill get your way soon enough.



My wife def wouldn't come out w/ the 2 kids. We have a hard time getting a sitter and she doesn't necessarily enjoy lifting. She is really just a runner. Where are you moving to? I am sure Chris and I would make the trip. We should try for something before my surgery. My goal is to get as big as possible before it so I won't lose as much lol.

MAB
05-05-13, 12:22 pm
My wife def wouldn't come out w/ the 2 kids. We have a hard time getting a sitter and she doesn't necessarily enjoy lifting. She is really just a runner. Where are you moving to? I am sure Chris and I would make the trip. We should try for something before my surgery. My goal is to get as big as possible before it so I won't lose as much lol.



Ill pm you... You and Chris make it my way one wknd, we'll kidnap Tark and ill get y'all on base. Then you can have fun in a hangar sized gym, maybe even go a few rounds with one another in the boxing ring upstairs :) Just let me know when you all are free and ill make it work.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I was thrown into the Twilight Zone the other day (now I'm wondering how long until that catch phrase is lost on people). Anywho, Twilight Zone.... Or maybe I'd be better off saying the Danger Zone (a la Archer) as I was left in a state of wanting to fucking smash everything I could get my hands on, including people's faces... But this is a twilight zone experience bc I left the gym in a worse mood than when I went in. Normally it's the opposite, wth? And normally I'm pretty chill, calm, cool, and genuinely a pretty happy person.

But no, I was so full of freaking rage all I wanted to do was start grabbing dumb bells and chucking them at the mirrors lining the walls. I wanted it to rain shattered glass, hear the tinkling of shards hitting the ground all around me, see people's shocked and horrified faces...

I don't know what will fix this... It's frustrating the ever living hell out of me. There are words that need to be said, rage that needs to be screamed, and hurt that needs to be appeased. But I don't know how to do any of that... I don't fucking know what to do. Maybe crying would help... I start to tear up every once in a while, but I shove it down deep... There are too many people watching, waiting or me to crumble and I don't want them touching me, I don't want their comfort, but at the same time I want to curl up in someone and just be at peace wrapped in a hug. Utterly frustrating.

What's the most frustrating is that my fortress of solitude failed me... or maybe I failed it? My place where I zone and beat the ever loving shit out of myself, my place of safety, of strength... Tarnished by rage, hatred...

I don't want to be a jaded old hag... It's normal, I know, but seriously? Maybe I don't want to be normal.

Mother trucker!!!

Maybe all i needed was to put all that out here, out of my mind. Monday is tomorrow, new day, im gonna force a clear mind. tomorrow is a new start. game face on :)

Eh, time to brave spiders and ticks to dig out my storage tubs.

UnknownGuardian
05-05-13, 12:51 pm
Ill pm you... You and Chris make it my way one wknd, we'll kidnap Tark and ill get y'all on base. Then you can have fun in a hangar sized gym, maybe even go a few rounds with one another in the boxing ring upstairs :) Just let me know when you all are free and ill make it work.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------


I was thrown into the Twilight Zone the other day (now I'm wondering how long until that catch phrase is lost on people). Anywho, Twilight Zone.... Or maybe I'd be better off saying the Danger Zone (a la Archer) as I was left in a state of wanting to fucking smash everything I could get my hands on, including people's faces... But this is a twilight zone experience bc I left the gym in a worse mood than when I went in. Normally it's the opposite, wth? And normally I'm pretty chill, calm, cool, and genuinely a pretty happy person.

But no, I was so full of freaking rage all I wanted to do was start grabbing dumb bells and chucking them at the mirrors lining the walls. I wanted it to rain shattered glass, hear the tinkling of shards hitting the ground all around me, see people's shocked and horrified faces...

I don't know what will fix this... It's frustrating the ever living hell out of me. There are words that need to be said, rage that needs to be screamed, and hurt that needs to be appeased. But I don't know how to do any of that... I don't fucking know what to do. Maybe crying would help... I start to tear up every once in a while, but I shove it down deep... There are too many people watching, waiting or me to crumble and I don't want them touching me, I don't want their comfort, but at the same time I want to curl up in someone and just be at peace wrapped in a hug. Utterly frustrating.

What's the most frustrating is that my fortress of solitude failed me... or maybe I failed it? My place where I zone and beat the ever loving shit out of myself, my place of safety, of strength... Tarnished by rage, hatred...

I don't want to be a jaded old hag... It's normal, I know, but seriously? Maybe I don't want to be normal.

Mother trucker!!!

Maybe all i needed was to put all that out here, out of my mind. Monday is tomorrow, new day, im gonna force a clear mind. tomorrow is a new start. game face on :)

Eh, time to brave spiders and ticks to dig out my storage tubs.

Well I do hope you will feel better tomorrow. I know that there have been many times where I've felt the same way (and still do). I've just been getting better at keeping it at bay and only using "it" (whatever "it" is) when necessary. And don't worry about being normal. You can't be, otherwise you wouldn't fit in so well in here. Lol

Extreme
05-06-13, 11:01 am
Let it out!!! That can definitely help...even if you don't know how it will at this time. Everything happens for a reason. You do what you do for a reason. You feel what you feel for a reason. Keep truckin along and eventually pieces of the puzzle will be discovered and things will start to fall into place. Hoping this week gets better for you!

Kowboy
05-06-13, 11:13 am
Do you just need a CAC to get on base? I work for the DoD so I could do that pretty easy, I know here if you have a civilian or military CAC you can get on.

Kowboy
05-06-13, 11:20 am
Sometimes rage is warranted, depends on what is causing it. Life is crazy and I know for me it feels like everyone is always against me. I did it my way and went to school, graduated, got a great job, wife, kids, family, house and people always try and shit on it. Fuck em, use that shit to your advantage. If it is people in the gym making you angry don’t let them win, you are an Animal and a part of a family. We go in and crush weights, get better every day. Anyone that hinders that can be replaced or stepped around. I avoid confrontation at the gym most of the time and luckily now at Beyond Limits I don’t have to deal with it.

I have learned in life that there are very few people you can actually depend on. In my experience even family has let me down. Bounce off us all here, I know that being dedicated w/ the gym and lifting and this lifestyle really frustrates people and it seems to make people angry. They hate you for doing something they only wish they could, as they spew the bullshit from their mouth deep insede their body is screaming and yearning to do what you can. I will never understand why this country is all about me and the selfish attitude but it is just the way it is. The unsuccessful with always bitch and complain about the successful and how they don’t deserve it. The hip hop preacher says it best. There are 24 hours in a day, we all get the same amount of time, it comes down to how you use it. I tell people “See your dreams and make it happen, if people in your life can’t help you get there, find new people.”

UnknownGuardian
05-06-13, 2:20 pm
Sometimes rage is warranted, depends on what is causing it. Life is crazy and I know for me it feels like everyone is always against me. I did it my way and went to school, graduated, got a great job, wife, kids, family, house and people always try and shit on it. Fuck em, use that shit to your advantage. If it is people in the gym making you angry don’t let them win, you are an Animal and a part of a family. We go in and crush weights, get better every day. Anyone that hinders that can be replaced or stepped around. I avoid confrontation at the gym most of the time and luckily now at Beyond Limits I don’t have to deal with it.

I have learned in life that there are very few people you can actually depend on. In my experience even family has let me down. Bounce off us all here, I know that being dedicated w/ the gym and lifting and this lifestyle really frustrates people and it seems to make people angry. They hate you for doing something they only wish they could, as they spew the bullshit from their mouth deep insede their body is screaming and yearning to do what you can. I will never understand why this country is all about me and the selfish attitude but it is just the way it is. The unsuccessful with always bitch and complain about the successful and how they don’t deserve it. The hip hop preacher says it best. There are 24 hours in a day, we all get the same amount of time, it comes down to how you use it. I tell people “See your dreams and make it happen, if people in your life can’t help you get there, find new people.”

Very Well Said Brotha

Kowboy
05-06-13, 2:31 pm
Very Well Said Brotha

Thanks, something that my wife and I just recently spoke about.

UnknownGuardian
05-08-13, 12:21 pm
Did you beat up the ticks and spiders yet? LOL

GUNS
05-08-13, 5:22 pm
MAB, where you hiding?

MAB
05-09-13, 11:06 pm
MAB, where you hiding?

Hell... apparently...




LoL, nah, I'm kidding. It's been a shit storm of a ride these past 2 days. I'll have to fill y'all in soon! Just checkin in... I haven't forgotten about you Animals & hopefully you haven't forgotten me :)


Gah I'm gonna feel old & decrepit tommorrow! Pray for me! :)

GUNS
05-10-13, 10:00 am
Hell... apparently...




LoL, nah, I'm kidding. It's been a shit storm of a ride these past 2 days. I'll have to fill y'all in soon! Just checkin in... I haven't forgotten about you Animals & hopefully you haven't forgotten me :)


Gah I'm gonna feel old & decrepit tommorrow! Pray for me! :)Wouldnt be asking if I forgot ya! So your gonna feel like me hahaha! Updates are needed!

UnknownGuardian
05-16-13, 3:17 pm
Hope all is doing great.

GUNS
05-16-13, 11:11 pm
Yo chic, whats up?

MAB
05-19-13, 2:09 pm
So I made my move... I hit quite a few big arse walls along the way and found myself in something COMPLETELY different from what I was expecting, but hey... sometimes there are just different plans in store for you and you don't know what they are until your sittin in the middle of a whirlwind of change thinking to yourself, "holy crap."

My training is still going... I hit 65# on my cleans this past week :) This week I'm aiming for over 70. Well see.

So right now I'm just trying to pull all the pieces together, get myself organized and back on track. I haven't been able to post on here of late bc I don't have Internet at the moment, but that won't be an issue for much longer. Then I'll get back to job huntin and the whole nine yards :)


How's everyone else?

Extreme
05-20-13, 3:59 pm
Good to see you're still kickin...hope everything falls into place for ya and everything works out.

GUNS
05-20-13, 5:26 pm
GREAT to see you back and doing good! Happy for you that you made the move. Keep it up and good luck with the job hunting!

MAB
05-23-13, 6:36 am
75# on my last set of cleans yesterday for 15 reps... barely got the last one all the way up, but hey, I'm happy. Hoping Road Runner pulls through for me soon. If not I may check into AT&T.

Kowboy
05-23-13, 8:15 am
0700 at BLT this week for a strongman training session. You can really do anything you want.

Kowboy
05-23-13, 8:23 am
75# on my last set of cleans yesterday for 15 reps... barely got the last one all the way up, but hey, I'm happy. Hoping Road Runner pulls through for me soon. If not I may check into AT&T.

I have time warner now and hate it, I miss my ATT Uverse. But in Johnstown Time Warner is pretty much it.

GUNS
05-23-13, 8:46 am
75# on my last set of cleans yesterday for 15 reps... barely got the last one all the way up, but hey, I'm happy. Hoping Road Runner pulls through for me soon. If not I may check into AT&T.

Nice work, hell thats cardio, hahaha!

MAB
05-23-13, 9:31 pm
0700 at BLT this week for a strongman training session. You can really do anything you want.

Who all's gettin together w ya? And what day? You can run me through a Strongman session for shits & giggles if I can make it up :)


How expensive is AT&T compared to RR? I'm just wantin net. Don't watch tv.

MAB
05-23-13, 9:33 pm
Who all's gettin together w ya? And what day? You can run me through a Strongman session for shits & giggles if I can make it up :)


How expensive is AT&T compared to RR? I'm just wantin net. Don't watch tv.

Uh yeah! Youre tellin me! Saw a shirt I really want. Front says somehing like, "But what do you do for cardio?" Then the back says, "...lift faster." LOFL


Jimmy, how close are you & the fam to N'awleans?

GUNS
05-23-13, 10:29 pm
About an hour, you coming down? More than welcome to come over and train! Get a meal!

MAB
05-25-13, 11:08 pm
About an hour, you coming down? More than welcome to come over and train! Get a meal!

I'll keep that in mind! It's one of my places I'd like to go (bucket list I guess you could say)... LOVE me some cajun! Mmmm gator. And I love spice :) Now I'm hungry.

MAB
05-30-13, 7:01 am
I am literally out of control... Normally I can keep whatever's buggin me out of the sanctity of the gym, but here of late I'm just failing... and I'm failing miserably. It's pissing me off. Seems like I'm just pissy all around. I'm pissed, frustrated, and a whole bunch of other thing wrapped up together.

Hoping one really good ass kicking will knock it the hell outta my system.

Fingers crossed.

Extreme
05-30-13, 8:28 am
I am literally out of control... Normally I can keep whatever's buggin me out of the sanctity of the gym, but here of late I'm just failing... and I'm failing miserably. It's pissing me off. Seems like I'm just pissy all around. I'm pissed, frustrated, and a whole bunch of other thing wrapped up together.

Hoping one really good ass kicking will knock it the hell outta my system.

Fingers crossed.

Sucks to hear that things are frustrating for you at the moment. Will be hoping right along with you that you'll be able to get passed it...and if you need to, just let it out. You know you've got support from us.

GUNS
05-30-13, 11:53 am
I'll keep that in mind! It's one of my places I'd like to go (bucket list I guess you could say)... LOVE me some cajun! Mmmm gator. And I love spice :) Now I'm hungry.
This is the time to get crawfish, but if you can get down, let us know, we can set you up in a casino hotel, hit up the amazing buffets and hit the gym! They are right on the beach as well!

MAB
05-31-13, 10:45 pm
I guess today I'd finally had enough... Woke up & hit the gym early. I was determined to have a great lifting session or at least let my anger fuel my muscles to the point of exhaustion. I succeeded at both. There were ppl staring, some had the decency to look away when I caught them. I always wonder... Why are they staring? Is it bc I'm a girl lifting weights? Is it bc of the faces I'm sure I unconsciously make? I dunno... Some days it bugs me; others I just can't give a damn. What matters is that I was able to get my head back in the game.

Not only did I kick my butt in the gym, but I kicked butt cleaning, organizing, & being productive. I LOVE when it's the end of the day & I have a whole list of things I have accomplished. I always sleep like a rock then.

_____ _____ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ______ ______

Guns! I'm going to take you up on that offer! Lets try for sometime after your daughters wedding & your anniversary :) I don't want to be an inconvenience or add to the stress :) I've never had crawfish!

MAB
06-02-13, 10:33 am
It's funny how some of the hardest things to say are some of the simplest, some of the shortest. For example: I love you, I hate you, I need help...

Laying your feelings out there for the world to see, to judge, to laugh at... it leaves you raw & vulnerable. Asking for help is like saying to someone that you are inadequate & you need them to help fill in the spots; asking for is scary bc you will ask it of someone & if they turn you down then you know you mean less to them than they mean to you. All have the potential for pain, heartache, & shame... intense human emotions.

Even if these are intense, they pass. Sometimes slowly, sometimes quickly. In passing they leave us stronger, more knowledgeable, but hate is all consuming. It does not give, it doesn't teach. The only thing hate begets is more hate & perhaps fear or resentment. If you let hate, fear, judgement, any of these rule your life, thoughts, or words you will find yourself alone. Alone in a vicious cycle of hurt & hate.

My heart is breaking bc I saw so much beauty, so much potential, so much love & strength to give. I knew there was anger & judgement, hostility & rage just below the surface. I saw these too, but I ignored them, I focused on the good, until I realized I wasn't as safe from the bad as I'd fooled myself into thinking.

So here I am, with my heart aching over a light that could have blinded the world, a soul that I knew was haunted but thought I could fill with joy, suffering I thought I could ease, anger I thought I could help lessen... I thought I could make a difference. My heartache is teaching me that the things I wanted to "fix" or "lessen" are things only the individual can let go of & unfortunately throughout all of this I've learned that I'm not enough...

So now it's time for me to let go. The tension has been building, I've prepared myself for this, & as a friend said it's time to just rip off the bandaid. It will sting for as long as it needs to, but it's time for me to think & do for myself, time to just let go & the pieces can fall where they may.

Michael is a name of strength, it's about time I start doing my name some justice.

GUNS
06-02-13, 8:42 pm
I guess today I'd finally had enough... Woke up & hit the gym early. I was determined to have a great lifting session or at least let my anger fuel my muscles to the point of exhaustion. I succeeded at both. There were ppl staring, some had the decency to look away when I caught them. I always wonder... Why are they staring? Is it bc I'm a girl lifting weights? Is it bc of the faces I'm sure I unconsciously make? I dunno... Some days it bugs me; others I just can't give a damn. What matters is that I was able to get my head back in the game.

Not only did I kick my butt in the gym, but I kicked butt cleaning, organizing, & being productive. I LOVE when it's the end of the day & I have a whole list of things I have accomplished. I always sleep like a rock then.

_____ _____ . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . ______ ______

Guns! I'm going to take you up on that offer! Lets try for sometime after your daughters wedding & your anniversary :) I don't want to be an inconvenience or add to the stress :) I've never had crawfish!

When your ready, let me know. Wendy and I will get you in a good hotel(casino), and on a beach so you can relax. Maybe take you out on the boat in the river! There are beaches on the river as well. Just give me a little notice. July and August are a little hot and humid here, so get prepared! Lol!

MAB
06-02-13, 9:06 pm
When your ready, let me know. Wendy and I will get you in a good hotel(casino), and on a beach so you can relax. Maybe take you out on the boat in the river! There are beaches on the river as well. Just give me a little notice. July and August are a little hot and humid here, so get prepared! Lol!

Oh my goodness that sounds amazing! How much do casino hotel rooms run a night? I've never been to a casino! And I freaking love boats. Theres a lake house in our family & we spent summers up there boat ridin, tubbin, & fishin w my grandparents! When's ur weddin & anniversary again?

GUNS
06-02-13, 9:33 pm
Oh my goodness that sounds amazing! How much do casino hotel rooms run a night? I've never been to a casino! And I freaking love boats. Theres a lake house in our family & we spent summers up there boat ridin, tubbin, & fishin w my grandparents! When's ur weddin & anniversary again?

http://www.beaurivage.com/
On the Beach, Probly nicest one down here as far as the hotel.

http://www.ipbiloxi.com/
This is the one me and Wendy like. Best buffet, great gambling. Only bad is its not on the beach. But to me one of the best views of the back bay if you get the bay view rooms.

http://www.hardrockbiloxi.com/
On beach, great gambling, they have a Ben and Jerry's, lol!

Let me know if you have any questions. Wendy is all about relaxing on the weekends and will be more than happy to do any of this.

Wedding is July 20th. Our Ann is on Sep 17th.

MAB
06-05-13, 8:10 pm
Hey Jimmy, maybe sometime in august? Weather still really humid then?


…................................................. .................................................. .........




Haven't been in the gym in almost a week. Which is odd for me. Even in the pissiest, blackest mood I go & try to work out some of the negative, but these past few days it's been a total chore to even crawl outta bed. Today I was determined to pull myself out of this funk, mind over matter. Driving to the gym I was in total dread, but walking into the gym felt like coming home.

To give myself a fighting chance at a good session I decided today would be a Boulders day. I haven't had a Boulders day in a while & theyre my favorite. Since I'm in between routines I figured, what the hell. I had a pretty awesome Boulders day :)

I feel at home in my gyms, like I own them, like no one can touch me. I dunno why I gave up on them, even if only for a few days. Getting out of funks can be a challenge, but sticking to a routine certainly helps.

As always I'm looking forward to my next split & hoping for pure unadulterated agony :)

GUNS
06-05-13, 10:43 pm
August is doable. Yeah humid but more hot. Depending on how long your down, it is still a great time to come down. Id say August is perfect!

MAB
06-06-13, 7:32 am
Alarm went off at a quarter to 5... Lay there for a while thinking about going back to sleep, but couldn't. Threw my hair up, rinsed my face, fed the cat, & was out the door with an apple in one hand & my pre in the other. Made it to the hanger at about 5:30.

Lat pull down, 4 sets of 20 at 70# then 85# for 3sets
CG row 4sets of 20 at 70# then 85# for the last 2
Skull crushers 4sets of 20 at 30# then 40# on the last 3 SS with tri push down (2sets w rope at 30#, 2sets w a bar at 40#) all for 25 reps

Then it hit me... The shakes & the feeling that I was gonna puke, those combined with the fact that I was verbally attacking (in my head) everyone looking at my let me know my sugar was too low. Freaking sucks but at least now I know the signs. In the past lifting in the mornings didn't really bug me unless I had more sugar/ simple carbs the day b4 than normal... and unfortunately for me yesterdy was a shitty ass day food wise. I'm absolutely DONE with all my usual cheats... No more ice cream, no more anything stupid. It's not worth the chance that I might was a hypoglycemic seizure in the midst of lifting. I want to be as beastly as possible within my body's natural realm of possibilities & momentarily appeasing a sweet tooth is not worth missing this goal.


But just a heads up for any who may find themselves in the gym w me... The signs of my sugar being too low are: being overly bitchy for no reason, lookin pale, feeling like I'm going to vomit, getting clammy, getting hot too quickly. If my vision gets dark around the edges I know to sit & breath. Cooling myself down helps, drinking ice cold water, & focusing on breathing helps. But if you hear me say, "oh shit," it may be past the point of no return, you should probably grab my weights, & let me sit down. I haven't had a seizure since 2002, but theyre disconcerting as fuck & you have the possibility of hurting yourself & ppl around you (I almost took down an 8 month pregnant woman when she tried to catch me on my way down).

I'm gonna go back after work for cardio & to try & finish what was in my list. :)

MAB
06-07-13, 11:36 pm
I think family is good for the heart. Family isn't necessarily defined by blood. The way I think of it family encompasses all the people who know you, your faults, your quirks, but theyre accepting of you anyway. You can be comfortable around them to be yourself. I haven't cut loose around my family in a long while. After work I drove 40mins to my parents' house for a cookout in celebration of my baby sister's birthday.

We lit a fire in the pit, my dad fired up the grill, and my sisters, myself, & my bro-in-law played lawn darts while we waited to eat (i suck at lawn darts, but sometimes sucking is more fun than kicking ass. It's about laughs & good times anyway). After we ate we played Catch Phrase... We take some of our games very seriously, this is one. The MABs were, of course, on a team. We kicked ass. After catch phrase we moved on to acard game we call peanuts. It gets really competitive & we move at lightening fast speeds... I haven't played in yrs! My mom & I were on a team, we came in second by a mere 10 points.

I had so much fun... It was nice to be uncensored, goofy, & not worry about a thing. It was so nice to laugh, at old things, at new things. I know I'll sleep well tonight, even if I still smell "camp fire" in my hair :)

GUNS
06-08-13, 1:57 pm
Seen the pics, and you looked like you had fun, lots of smiles, and that is a beautiful thing!

MAB
06-09-13, 11:34 am
Seen the pics, and you looked like you had fun, lots of smiles, and that is a beautiful thing!

Lots of smiles & goofiness last night as well. Went out w 2 girlfriends for one's bday. It's hilarious the stuff that happens when any of us go out together. When we do go out I look at it like I'm a bouncer... I'm quite a bit bigger than my girlies, so I help keep them in check & keep the guys from gettin too rowdy. Haha, I'm the Sitter ;-) I don't mind tho... I always get good laughs & smile majority of the night (unless someone is majorly stupid, which can happen). Lots of candid & posed photos. We even mocked a male stripper at a bachelorette party we happened to have walked in on. The bride-to-be was very gracious & got the bday girl a go round with Romeo... best thing I've ever seen, I laughed so hard!


Just more fun stories to tell when I'm old & senial.



I'm excited bc this wk I'm out early (i go into work at 6am tho) which means I miss major gym traffic! Plus a gf of mine just moved back from Texas, shes in the AF now, & I'm hoping to drag her to the gym for a spot so I can go heavier & harder... Hopefully I don't scare her off like the other friends I've dragged into the gym w me.


Only bad thing I did last night was eat a cupcake at the bachelorette party... That & a SHIT ton of sushi... Mmmm but spicy tuna rolls & rainbow trout rolls, delicious! Kinda addicted, not gonna lie.


I know I'm bouncing all over but I'm hoping to hit 80 this wk on my cleans :) should be fun. Will be half my body weight!

MAB
06-10-13, 6:16 am
I get my new split today & I'm SUPER excited!!!

GUNS
06-10-13, 9:52 am
Nothing wrong with going out and having some fun, messing with male strippers(I always love that), and eating cupcakes(love that more! LOL! Good to see you having fun!

MAB
06-10-13, 10:23 pm
Nothing wrong with going out and having some fun, messing with male strippers(I always love that), and eating cupcakes(love that more! LOL! Good to see you having fun!

That was definitely crazy & unforseen lol. I prefer more mellow outings here of late but I guess you gotta shake things up.


Got into the gym before I got my new plan. Decided to do shoulders & tris. Hope it doesn't screw the rest of the wk up.

Db tri extensions: 4 sets of 20 at 10, 12, 15, & 15#

standing OH press SS skull crushers: SC @ 40# 20r 4sets; SOHP@ 40# 15r 2sets, 50# 12r 2sets, 60# 12r 2sets

Db laterals SS machine latetals: db@ 12# 20r 3sets, 15# 15r then 12r; ML@ 35# 15r 2sets, 12r 2sets, 40# 10r

Tri push down SS cg bench: TPD (rope) 40# 20r 3sets, 15r, 50# 15r; CGB@ 45# 20r 3sets, 55# 15r, 65# 15r

Front raise (db) SS seated press: FR@ 10# 15r 2sets; SP@ 50# 15r 2sets


At this point I had to stop. I was shaking. Couldn't figure out what was wrong, it wasn't a fatigue shake & I just felt off, dunno how to explain it.

I know I should eat... Since 11 I havent had anything other than half a Naked protein smoothie & a yogurt... Everything sounds gross. I dunno wth is going on w my body here of late, but it's ticking me off. I know after lifting it's especially important to eat. Bleh!

Tmrws a new day... I'll eat something substantial for bfeast.

MAB
06-11-13, 8:27 am
There are these (+) ENERGY bracelets I love, Alex and Ani. Stumbled upon their Phoenix Wrap & couldn't resist. Symbolizes: rebirth, sacrifice, & immortality. The card that came w it says:

"The phoenix, a mythical, sacred firebird, is known to rise from its ashes in regeneration. An emblem of divinity, loyalty, and immortality, the Spiritual Phoenix Wrap reminds us that change is good for the soul."

MAB
06-12-13, 9:06 pm
80# on cleans today for 10r...

Cleans, cbl curls, bo rows, bb curls, lat pull downs, & a hammer drop set... Really don't feel like posting all my #s. BOR went up to 105, LPD 90#....


Just tapped out, nothing left to give so it's time for bed.

GUNS
06-12-13, 10:11 pm
80# on cleans today for 10r...

Cleans, cbl curls, bo rows, bb curls, lat pull downs, & a hammer drop set... Really don't feel like posting all my #s. BOR went up to 105, LPD 90#....


Just tapped out, nothing left to give so it's time for bed.

Good solid work M! With the right motivation, there is always more, Never Tap out!

MAB
06-13-13, 6:39 pm
Good solid work M! With the right motivation, there is always more, Never Tap out!

LoL... I don't tap out Jimmy... I get pissy, take a nap, & go back for more :) Healthy self destruction, I'm addicted for life.

Chivalry
06-13-13, 7:10 pm
There are these (+) ENERGY bracelets I love, Alex and Ani. Stumbled upon their Phoenix Wrap & couldn't resist. Symbolizes: rebirth, sacrifice, & immortality. The card that came w it says:

"The phoenix, a mythical, sacred firebird, is known to rise from its ashes in regeneration. An emblem of divinity, loyalty, and immortality, the Spiritual Phoenix Wrap reminds us that change is good for the soul."

I've always found it interesting what the different mythic creatures symbolise. The Phoenix has always been a favorite for the things you just stated.
The Griffon has always been the one that I've associated with the most, though.

MAB
06-14-13, 10:04 pm
I've always found it interesting what the different mythic creatures symbolise. The Phoenix has always been a favorite for the things you just stated.
The Griffon has always been the one that I've associated with the most, though.

Why does the Griffon resonate with you? I've always loved symbolism. I like looking beneath the surface & seeing the things that most miss :)



Speaking of symbols & such I went to see Man of Steel today! I mean, come on! How could I not? I love the direction of all the latest super hero movies. A bit darker than their predecessors, more earthy, raw, more realistic. Something about the tortured soul rising above.... I've always been a romantic, in the artistic sense of the word.

Before I get too off topic I have to say I LOVED the movie. Amazing! I loved catching little allusions to sequels/ enemies to come & little tongue-in-cheek moments. Go see the movie. Loved that they didn't make the actor playing Superman shave his chest... Manly, rugged, muscular :)

Anywho, I LOVE previews... I always get super pumped & often let down when there's nothing that really flips my lid in the future. Well not today! Got a sneak peak at the next Hobbit movie. But was more pumped when I saw Catching Fire on the big screen (Hunger Games for those of u who aren't book nerds). But what had me on the edge of my seat was the freaking sequel to 300!!!!!!!!! I didnt even realize they were doing one & it doesn't even freaking come out til MARCH!!!!! Gah! What a teaser!

Chivalry
06-17-13, 5:00 pm
Why does the Griffon resonate with you? I've always loved symbolism. I like looking beneath the surface & seeing the things that most miss :)



Speaking of symbols & such I went to see Man of Steel today! I mean, come on! How could I not? I love the direction of all the latest super hero movies. A bit darker than their predecessors, more earthy, raw, more realistic. Something about the tortured soul rising above.... I've always been a romantic, in the artistic sense of the word.

Before I get too off topic I have to say I LOVED the movie. Amazing! I loved catching little allusions to sequels/ enemies to come & little tongue-in-cheek moments. Go see the movie. Loved that they didn't make the actor playing Superman shave his chest... Manly, rugged, muscular :)

Anywho, I LOVE previews... I always get super pumped & often let down when there's nothing that really flips my lid in the future. Well not today! Got a sneak peak at the next Hobbit movie. But was more pumped when I saw Catching Fire on the big screen (Hunger Games for those of u who aren't book nerds). But what had me on the edge of my seat was the freaking sequel to 300!!!!!!!!! I didnt even realize they were doing one & it doesn't even freaking come out til MARCH!!!!! Gah! What a teaser!

Griffon's to me have always represented that there are always two sides to one coin, it's part of the reason why I never judge someone else, even when knowing their story. We all have our dualing nature and often the world isn't just white or black, but that gray, and to me the Griffon represents that. I suppose it's the fact that the Griffon is a protector and noble due to the Eagle and the Lion. Steadfast in their beliefs. I hope that came off well enough, ha.

But... Man of Steel was fantastic! I hear that a lot of people are complaining over it, considering it didn't have any 'joyous' moments at the end, as it were, but I loved the move all around. I'm glad that they finally accomplished what felt like a true Superman movie. And what happend to Zod..... wow.

MAB
06-17-13, 9:48 pm
Yeah, definitely didn't see what happened to Zod coming. I personally liked the darker take on superman, I mean, come on! He's got to be constantly at war with himself knowing he could take on anyone dumb enough to confront him, but taking the higher road. Case in point his childhood flashback where he bent the crap out of the fence. Loved what he did to the truck driver, lol, totally saw that one coming. But I have way more respect for the person who tempers strength with compassion, patience, & can maintain a cool head.




Got my new split today. Ready to jump back to it. :)

Chivalry
06-18-13, 10:11 pm
I completely agree. It was good to see just exactly the type of 'war' that was waging inside of him through his younger years, trying to fit in, but also not using anger to strike back. I loved the feel that they used for the movie, not so dark, but felt 'real' for a superhero who is all powerful like Superman.
The truck driver part was hilarious. Just loved the look on the guys face whenever he saw his truck, haha.
But, aye, those are qualities that everyone should strive for.

Lookin' forward to see what this new split is about! :)

MAB
06-20-13, 9:35 pm
My first week on this new training is almost over. I'm more sore than I've been in a while :) What I'm excited about is that this split has me alternating between two weekly routines. Helps combat boredom :) I'm honestly more excited about next week than anything. Normally I do 6 sets and high reps and I've been hovering in the 80s and 90s. Next week I have fewer sets and reps so it's the perfect time to see just how much I can do :) I'll keep y'all posted!

New stuff has been thrown in the mix. Pool time, Jacob's ladder (anyone know if this is electronic or powered by the climber? I'll find out Saturday) and
razorbacks (no clue, need to google this) just to name a few. Post a bit more on it Saturday or Sunday.


Had something random happen the other day. An opportunity has arisen and I figured, what the hell, might as well just go ahead and jump right in. So with this new split I'm hoping for some big changes. I've got a goal/ deadline and I wanna do my best for myself. Plus I have this kick arse pair of heels I've been sitting on for almost a year now! Time to break them out!

GUNS
06-20-13, 10:24 pm
Plus I have this kick arse pair of heels I've been sitting on for almost a year now! Time to break them out!Pics! Feet in of course!

Is P doing this one for you as well?

Chivalry
06-21-13, 3:40 pm
My first week on this new training is almost over. I'm more sore than I've been in a while :) What I'm excited about is that this split has me alternating between two weekly routines. Helps combat boredom :) I'm honestly more excited about next week than anything. Normally I do 6 sets and high reps and I've been hovering in the 80s and 90s. Next week I have fewer sets and reps so it's the perfect time to see just how much I can do :) I'll keep y'all posted!

New stuff has been thrown in the mix. Pool time, Jacob's ladder (anyone know if this is electronic or powered by the climber? I'll find out Saturday) and
razorbacks (no clue, need to google this) just to name a few. Post a bit more on it Saturday or Sunday.


Had something random happen the other day. An opportunity has arisen and I figured, what the hell, might as well just go ahead and jump right in. So with this new split I'm hoping for some big changes. I've got a goal/ deadline and I wanna do my best for myself. Plus I have this kick arse pair of heels I've been sitting on for almost a year now! Time to break them out!

I'm pretty sure that the Jacob's ladder is self-powered, or at least the ones that I've ever seen are.

MAB
06-21-13, 9:34 pm
Pics! Feet in of course!

Is P doing this one for you as well?


LoL yeah Jimmy, I'm afraid poor P is stuck with me for at least another year...

Keep your eyes peeled on fb, I don't have a photo bucket fort posting pics on here. I may even share a pic of tbe freaking Adidas men's Hi Tops Red 76 Pro Court shoes I'm obsessing over. Canvas shell toe high tops! They're amazing and I can't find them to buy. It's gonna drive me nuts!



I'm pretty sure that the Jacob's ladder is self-powered, or at least the ones that I've ever seen are.

Good to know! I'm giving it a whirl tmrw morning :)



Monday was chest, Tuesday a few odds and ends weight wise but mainly cardio ish stuff. Wednesday was legs and back, Thursday was a repeat of Tuesday, today was my beloved "Boulders" biceps and shoulders :) Tomorrow is cardio, but not guinea pig wheel cardio... the fun type I don't get bored with and coast through :)

Whenever I go on base in the summer I drip sweat. When I refer to the hanger I'm not exaggerating... it's a freaking old plane hanger turned into a gym. Indoor track and boxing ring upstairs (still no luck on anyone showing me the ropes inside the ring or with the bags). Basketball/ volleyball courts, weights, and racquetball courts downstairs. Full of strive machines and lots of things that I have no clue what they're used for. Boxes for jumping that range in height from my ankles to my belly button (I'm 5'11"). All sorts of cardio machines and my absolute favorite stretching cages. But again, it's an old plane hanger... dust sounds, I've seen what looked like roaches, and the only relief from the heat are huge arse fans strategically placed about.

So I sweat more than usual there in the summer... I sweat like a man :) And so I bought chalk today! I haven't lifted with gloves or my versa grips in months now.

I'm sore as all get out. I thought I was sore yesterday, nope. It's been one of those days where I'm wincing every time I sit down. And I didn't even go as heavy as I'm planning next week. Lots of stretching tomorrow so I'm rearing to go come Monday! :)


Ps Jimmy... I'll have to work on my Tom's tan line before I go puttin my feet in my amazing heels. It would look really goofy and detract from their kick assery.

Where does one get a cape? And didn't you freaking see the Incredibles? "No capes!" Kept thinking that the whole time watching Man of Steel lol

UnknownGuardian
06-25-13, 3:47 pm
How is everything?

MAB
06-26-13, 8:18 am
Everything seems to be going well :) How bout you?

This new plan is kicking my butt. I'm sore and reminded of that every time I move, stretch, sit, or just breath LoL I haven't been this sore in a long while, so it's lovely (I mean that genuinely).

Been off on my sleep again. Having weird dreams. Case in point: yesterday I was dreaming that someone was searching for me, someone I didn't want to find me... in my dream a child whispered, "don't breath, she'll find you," and in my dream I went still beneath covers and held my breathe. Then I started to wake up BC my heart was pounding, I was stiff as a board, and I was holding my freaking breathe... it was so freaky that I turned on my light and did a check of the house and locks. Weird, disconcerting...

Training is going well. Works been messing with the schedule again, so this week and next I've been getting up early and hitting the gym before work. Some mornings it's harder to move and others I wake up ready to go. I do best on a set schedule and my job just freaking sucks :)

Maybe I'll post #s later. Gotta go, the iron's calling.

UnknownGuardian
06-26-13, 12:53 pm
Everything seems to be going well :) How bout you?

This new plan is kicking my butt. I'm sore and reminded of that every time I move, stretch, sit, or just breath LoL I haven't been this sore in a long while, so it's lovely (I mean that genuinely).

Been off on my sleep again. Having weird dreams. Case in point: yesterday I was dreaming that someone was searching for me, someone I didn't want to find me... in my dream a child whispered, "don't breath, she'll find you," and in my dream I went still beneath covers and held my breathe. Then I started to wake up BC my heart was pounding, I was stiff as a board, and I was holding my freaking breathe... it was so freaky that I turned on my light and did a check of the house and locks. Weird, disconcerting...

Training is going well. Works been messing with the schedule again, so this week and next I've been getting up early and hitting the gym before work. Some mornings it's harder to move and others I wake up ready to go. I do best on a set schedule and my job just freaking sucks :)

Maybe I'll post #s later. Gotta go, the iron's calling.

I’m doing great and it seems that you are not alone with the weird dreams. It’s been kind of a regular thing now for me, although I do have to say that it’s been a while since they have been as in-depth as before. I do hope that you get better sleep, dreams, and work schedule soon though. I’m currently in that “Screwy Schedule” because of work as well and I wouldn’t want that on anyone. It’s funny that you can say that about work and still smile about it. Shows amazing character on your part. Well its back to work for me. Talk to you later.

GUNS
06-26-13, 1:10 pm
Everything seems to be going well :) How bout you?

This new plan is kicking my butt. I'm sore and reminded of that every time I move, stretch, sit, or just breath LoL I haven't been this sore in a long while, so it's lovely (I mean that genuinely).

Been off on my sleep again. Having weird dreams. Case in point: yesterday I was dreaming that someone was searching for me, someone I didn't want to find me... in my dream a child whispered, "don't breath, she'll find you," and in my dream I went still beneath covers and held my breathe. Then I started to wake up BC my heart was pounding, I was stiff as a board, and I was holding my freaking breathe... it was so freaky that I turned on my light and did a check of the house and locks. Weird, disconcerting...

Training is going well. Works been messing with the schedule again, so this week and next I've been getting up early and hitting the gym before work. Some mornings it's harder to move and others I wake up ready to go. I do best on a set schedule and my job just freaking sucks :)

Maybe I'll post #s later. Gotta go, the iron's calling.

Glad your sore! Lol! Crazy things happening to you at night! hahaha!

MAB
06-26-13, 8:22 pm
So enjoy the ride :)


First thing's first. Being taller... lemme say that I know I'm not the tallest chick out there. I was wishing for 6ft when my growth spurt hit and stopped an inch short... nature has a funny way of thumbing her nose at you. I have days when I love being tall and then days when I hate it... then there are days like today where I love and hate being tall. When I was in a stall and saw there was no tp a little too late and it was WAY early and no one was coming in to save me I loved being tall bc long arms come with the territory and long arms are good for reaching into the neighboring stall and grabbing the tp next door :) lol

But then before I'd even left the gym I was hating on my long legs... why? Bc it was my bright ass idea to do split squats after having done full squats. Split squats freaking ass suck! I'm also told, quite often, how much harder it is for taller ppl to put on muscle and how certain exercises are harder bc our limbs are longer and there's more distance to cover. Ugh! So I see itty bitty gals barely over 5ft with bigger biceps or shoulders, I'm lifting more weight, doing more reps and (I'll be honest) it pisses me off. Seems like the itty bitty girls have it easier... not only lifting, don't get me started on clothes (shorts always look shorter on me)...

I keep on truckin. Those girls sometimes wish they were tall... merde happens


Next! I've decided to stop correcting my auto-correct on my smart phone. I spend all day correcting my kiddies (and coworkers, in my head) I don't need to correct my phone as well. So anyone who texts me be forewarned... my phone likes to throw "Thor" in place of "your" and "rapist" in place of "their." I'm too impatient not to swype... so let's just say this will get interesting and just laugh about it :)


I think I may have found a way to prod the sleeping bear and maybe get some info/ answers to things that are not setting well with me. I've learned over the years that if something doesn't feel right, it's for a reason. I'm too old to just be meek and mild and accept what doesn't sound right...


Everyone has gone baby crazy and it's freaking me out.


I'm disappointed to find that the bench bars at the hanger are not standard 45s... wtf USAF? I've suspected this for a while now, but didn't really pay it much mind as I tend to only do my cardio and plyos there... BUT they have an Olympic bar... dunno how much those weigh, I'll have to look it up. I was thinking of just saying screw it and using that bad boy. In my head it seems like it would be similar to using those fat grips (Dee you have some)... Maybe I'm over simplifying/ generalizing things. I do that from time to time. My grip needs work anyways...


I think the fitness version of "leggo my eggo" should be "stop lickin my chicken“


I think that's it for now on the random rollercoaster.


Had an awesome night's sleep :) Hoping for a repeat tonight!

Chivalry
06-26-13, 8:33 pm
So enjoy the ride :)
But then before I'd even left the gym I was hating on my long legs... why? Bc it was my bright ass idea to do split squats after having done full squats. Split squats freaking ass suck! I'm also told, quite often, how much harder it is for taller ppl to put on muscle and how certain exercises are harder bc our limbs are longer and there's more distance to cover. Ugh! So I see itty bitty gals barely over 5ft with bigger biceps or shoulders, I'm lifting more weight, doing more reps and (I'll be honest) it pisses me off. Seems like the itty bitty girls have it easier... not only lifting, don't get me started on clothes (shorts always look shorter on me)...

I keep on truckin. Those girls sometimes wish they were tall... merde happens


Gotta look at it this way, they might have them now, but when you do achieve them, you know that you've had to work your ass off twice as hard. I find that much more satisfying in the end.

MAB
06-27-13, 3:27 pm
Gotta look at it this way, they might have them now, but when you do achieve them, you know that you've had to work your ass off twice as hard. I find that much more satisfying in the end.

Very true :) thanks for that perspective! "Nothing worth having ever came easily."

GUNS
06-27-13, 4:09 pm
Split squats freaking ass suck!


Everyone has gone baby crazy and it's freaking me out.





I think the fitness version of "leggo my eggo" should be "stop lickin my chicken“





My random thoughts to your random thoughts -

Split squats don't suck if your splitting for the right reasons

Yes, you and D need to stay away from the Baby talk!

Licking should never stop

MAB
06-28-13, 7:09 pm
My random thoughts to your random thoughts -

Split squats don't suck if your splitting for the right reasons

Yes, you and D need to stay away from the Baby talk!

Licking should never stop

LoL well when it's a scavenging cat attacking your chicken is totally appropriate.


I have no intentions of succumbing to any baby craziness... but I do have a nephew on the way and I can't wait to meet him. I'm hoping my sister will let me coach her through the birth. I don't think her husband will last LoL


And I was doing split squats for my bum... but I was having tall girl difficulties bc the benches were awkwardly low for me to be putting one foot on while squatting... I think next time I'll use a box OR just keep both feet on the floor and use a bar instead of dumbbells. Eh tall girl problems :) long leg problems LoL


Jimmy I'm super pumped for you! If I lived closer I would totally make signs and probably come embarrass you... I'm sure Wendy would have been happy to help :) How is she?

I really need to log my stuff soon

Chivalry
06-29-13, 3:16 pm
Very true :) thanks for that perspective! "Nothing worth having ever came easily."


Exactly!
:)

Blondie Weapon X
07-04-13, 12:43 am
Hey girl!!

ABC update
well sorta..lol
Planing on July 27th looks like a go
Time is still TBD (hopefully early)
Chow- looking at a couple Sushi places...it would b a nice change from BD's
Place - MetroFitness in Worthington

Will you be able to come?

MAB
07-05-13, 8:33 pm
Hey girl!!

ABC update
well sorta..lol
Planing on July 27th looks like a go
Time is still TBD (hopefully early)
Chow- looking at a couple Sushi places...it would b a nice change from BD's
Place - MetroFitness in Worthington

Will you be able to come?

Hey Dixie! Yeah Trebin was filling me in on it. He said noon at metro. I should be there as long as nothing pops up! Sushi sounds good to me, I've kinda been on a sushi binge here lately LoL
<><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><><



So my new training is going well. I absolutely love when I get training splits that vary every other week. This one has been tons of fun as I alternate between a week of what I'm used to (higher # of sets and reps) and a week of lower reps/ sets. I'm sore in places I either haven't been sore in for a while or places I didn't know you could be sore. I'm freaking hungry as hell... maybe my metabolism is up, honestly I couldn't really care... Weeks ago I was up to about 165# in body weight, now I'm back down to about 160# I was honestly pretty excited by the idea of putting on more muscle weight, but I've been hovering at around 160# for quite a while now. Not a big deal.


The other day I was in the locker room about to head out and start lifting when a young woman approached me. She was about 6 inches shorter than me and was heavier, she was sweaty and her hair was a mess, but she smiled and said, "I know this sounds silly, but could you take my picture for me? Today is a pretty big day and I'd like a picture to remember it." I smiled and said of course! She handed me her phone set to camera and explained that she had lost 60# since she started her journey and today she ran 8 miles. I snapped a picture and asked what she was training for. "I'm training for my first 5k in September! I've got a ways to go." I snapped two more pictures and congratulated her on her accomplishments and wished her good luck with her training and marathon. After I walked out to the weight room I wished I'd hugged her, but some people are creeped out by that. I'd kinda been in a border line foul mood and this little lady had brought a retardedly big and genuine smile to my face and heart.

I know lots of people on higher levels of fit are annoyed by people like that little Marathoner-to-be, but everyone had to start somewhere and we all start at different points. The important thing is having the courage to start and courage can be a fragile thing. So try not to look down on people who aren't on your level or who may be clueless... I guess I'm just saying temper your judgement and stink eyes, LoL. Although I'm sure people think I'm giving them "drop dead" looks all the time. I actually had a retired Airman touch my arm softly and say, "you know it's ok to smile, right?" I laughed... I'm always thrown off when people talk to me and I'm not very quick with witty comebacks. LoL I think of them 5 minutes later, randomly, and laugh to myself.


I've read 2 books in the last 2 weeks and started another one. The newest one has me laughing already... here's a little something from the book:

"Dad and I are built like my grandma's side of the family. I don't know why it never occurs to big, burly guys that when they marry the tiny cheerleader some of the kids may look more like her, even the boys. They never think it through."


"We can order him to make appointments and talk to someone, but we can't force him to actually do the work. You've got to be willing to work on your issues. You've got to be willing to face hard truths and fight to get better. That takes courage and force of will."


"Artists and their art, mirror and reflection, yin and yang, the push and the pull, separate but joined, in the end it becomes an act of co-creation, because to truly crate at the artists themselves are re-created."



I'm still having moments where anger is riding me hard, shaking me, clouding my vision and thoughts... Moments where I am just full of hate. In those moments it's all consuming and I want to scream, smash things, and cry all at once.


I find I feel most comfortable, most like me in the gym now. It's my safe place, my haven of iron, sweat, and re-creation.

MAB
07-08-13, 7:13 pm
A third of the way through this split... I'm a little bummed...

Bench started with 115 then bumped down to 105 for the rest of my sets.
Cleans at 75
Goodmornings at 60
Then my accessory choices... bummed that I was off, maybe bc I've been training the past 3wks in the morning before 9am and today I'd switched schedules with a co-worker to help her out and got in the gym closer to 2... could be that plus when I train in the mornings I'm fresh, well fed, and hydrated. :-\

Blondie Weapon X
07-08-13, 9:00 pm
It will be good to catch up with you!!
:)
Love your story above...you have a good heart. Thats a quality that shines through and looks good on you :)

MAB
07-11-13, 7:51 am
Shape Shifter
As Loke Falls
Warriors of the North
Deceiver of the Gods
repeat... that is all

Kowboy
07-11-13, 8:07 am
That is awesome, not to plug my gym again but that is why I love it. I don't ever have to deal w/ the normal gym crowds and everyone is encouraging. I was just talking about how I started my journey last night. I was almost 300 lbs and started the bench with 135 and it was hard. My squats and deads started the same. On base I had more issues w/ the super fit then I ever did w/ the beginner peeps.

Funny thing about your book quote, my wife and I were talking about that. I am 6'5" about 275 today and she is 5'2" and pregnant and is only at 140. My 5 year old girl Isabelle almost has the same size feet and is quickly getting to be very tall. My son Harrison is 21 months and 33lbs and busting out of 3T clothes. What if the next one takes after her? Could be very interesting lol

MAB
07-11-13, 10:18 pm
That is awesome, not to plug my gym again but that is why I love it. I don't ever have to deal w/ the normal gym crowds and everyone is encouraging. I was just talking about how I started my journey last night. I was almost 300 lbs and started the bench with 135 and it was hard. My squats and deads started the same. On base I had more issues w/ the super fit then I ever did w/ the beginner peeps.

Funny thing about your book quote, my wife and I were talking about that. I am 6'5" about 275 today and she is 5'2" and pregnant and is only at 140. My 5 year old girl Isabelle almost has the same size feet and is quickly getting to be very tall. My son Harrison is 21 months and 33lbs and busting out of 3T clothes. What if the next one takes after her? Could be very interesting lol

LoL my brother and I are taller than both my parents and my 2 younger sisters. My baby sister is built like a miniature version of me and my middle sister is built like the twins on my dad's size, average height... BUT at family reunions on both sides there are tons of tall people, even women over 6ft, so who knows. I found the quote rather entertaining as I've been feeling a bit jaded towards taller men and shorter women. I know it's stupid, and not justified, but it's there just the same.


Stressful evening at work. Got all bloody, one of my teeny, tiny just turned 2 girlies busted her chin clear to the bone. I was pretty proud that I kept my cool, only time I might have seemed agitated was when I was yelling at the other teachers (we were outside) that I needed towels. Glad at least one was quick on her feet. Glad that I lift... makes it way easier to carry these babies other ways than just on your hip or facing your shoulder. I was so proud of her too, she was such a little trooper. Only cried a couple minutes til I had her look at me, not the blood, then she was calm and talked with me. I hate it when they get hurt... she'll definitely have a few stitches.

Afterward the stress and fear hit me... I mean how much blood can a little one lose before they're in serious trouble? We should know this stuff! I had a retail/ ice cream therapy session.


I have less than 2wks and I'm doing a mini photo shoot for shits and giggles. Ice cream probably wasn't the best idea, but oh well.


Some days I'm just tired... I'm tired of ppl who stare or look at you and whisper. I'm tired of taking care of other people, putting their wants and needs before my own. I'm just plain tired...

Chivalry
07-11-13, 10:29 pm
Some days I'm just tired... I'm tired of ppl who stare or look at you and whisper. I'm tired of taking care of other people, putting their wants and needs before my own. I'm just plain tired...

It's often a very heavy burden to carry. I've often, OFTEN, felt the very same way. Very often to put someone else before myself, especially happiness.
But, it's really about finding balance. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first, just for your own sake, because if you start getting 'tired' of it, the people who you do help will end up not getting the best of you.

Ha.... I really enjoy deep conversations, so, sorry if that was a bit much. :D

MAB
07-14-13, 5:02 pm
It's often a very heavy burden to carry. I've often, OFTEN, felt the very same way. Very often to put someone else before myself, especially happiness.
But, it's really about finding balance. Sometimes, you have to put yourself first, just for your own sake, because if you start getting 'tired' of it, the people who you do help will end up not getting the best of you.

Ha.... I really enjoy deep conversations, so, sorry if that was a bit much. :D

Nah, you're fine. Philosophical or "deep" conversations are good for the whole being, mind, body, and soul. Reaching out and connecting with others, knowing you're not alone in your struggles, it's reassuring.


What I struggle with most is the healthy balance. I give without the expectation of receiving. In my mind if you give only to receive is not whole hearted and it's not as meaningful. But then I often don't receive what I put forth and it is exhausting to give people so much of yourself and get nothing in return. I half wonder if THAT isn't why I often underestimate myself...

Balance, I used to have balance. That's the name of the game I guess. I was most balanced when I was super naive bc I didn't know enough to really care. Ignorance is bliss.


Was talking to Dee about this today. Sellin myself short on weight in the gym. I'm a lot stronger than I appear, and a lot stronger than I give myself credit for.

Chivalry
07-15-13, 1:03 am
Nah, you're fine. Philosophical or "deep" conversations are good for the whole being, mind, body, and soul. Reaching out and connecting with others, knowing you're not alone in your struggles, it's reassuring.


What I struggle with most is the healthy balance. I give without the expectation of receiving. In my mind if you give only to receive is not whole hearted and it's not as meaningful. But then I often don't receive what I put forth and it is exhausting to give people so much of yourself and get nothing in return. I half wonder if THAT isn't why I often underestimate myself...

Balance, I used to have balance. That's the name of the game I guess. I was most balanced when I was super naive bc I didn't know enough to really care. Ignorance is bliss.


Was talking to Dee about this today. Sellin myself short on weight in the gym. I'm a lot stronger than I appear, and a lot stronger than I give myself credit for.

I am the exact same way. No one should ever help or give in the hopes that your going to get something in return. It just seems superficial in a way. But it is tough to see all of that you do gets nothing much in return. It just takes finding those few who will always be there to balance all the others who don't return or appreciate the gesture nearly as much as they should. You have to just a bit of relief in knowing you are doing the right thing.

I've got a feeling you might be harder on yourself than other people, aren't you? Maybe even slightly critical and it does tend to leave you guessing about yourself.

MAB
07-15-13, 9:34 pm
Eh, honestly I dare you to find anyone on this forvm that isn't hard on themselves. But yeah, I am most definitely my own worst critic. When people don't reciprocate I find myself questioning my value, is the other person wary of my motives, the list could go on. I think way too much. It's a fault. I'm nice and tend to be naive, give people the benefit of the doubt. LoL don't want to expose all my faults though. Let's just say I'm not perfect and I'm perfectly aware.



I've found myself thinking about the saying, "actions speak louder than words," a lot here lately. Certain revelations have been hurtful. If someone asks a favor of me I do my best to help out bc I know how hard it is for me to ask for help... but whatever, I really should have known better. Just leaves more on my to do list with less and less time to accomplish anything on the ever growing list.


The weather here of late is God awful! I'm absolutely looking forward to the fall... tis my favorite time of year :-)


Have my sister's baby shower coming soon... there's so much talk about babies on here it's crazy! LoL I need to finish the decorations I'm responsible for and make sure they're super cute.

I love making things. It relaxes me. Whether I'm drawing, painting, "crafting," anything artsy or creative... even woodworking, it is just peaceful. I had someone criticize me on this once. They wanted to know why I couldn't just sit and relax... they didn't understand that my hands being busy making hair bows, tutus, painting on clothes, or smudged with graphite was relaxing for me. Sad thing.


Training is still going well. I'm sore as merde, didn't really realize how sore I was till someone at work squeezed me shoulders...

MAB
07-20-13, 4:34 pm
Been busy as if late, I'm looking forward to this week being over. Tomorrow is my baby sister's shower... after I'm done with this post I'll be painting a banner for her. Cakes all done, gifts wrapped, food I'm responsible for is ready to go, just gotta get this bad boy painted and assembled.

Monday I'm getting my nails done, rarity for me... Wednesday is my photo shoot. I still have no idea what I'm wearing with my heels. I just know my spiked heels are amazing and are coming with me. Hair will be styled, make-up will be done... again, rarities for me. Maybe I used to wear a bit of eye liner and I definitely used to have fun with my hair. Now-a-days my hairs lucky to get brushed :-D

Then Friday Wolverine comes out, Saturday is the Cbus ABC. I'm excited to see Dee and a few of the other gals and guys. After all that it should calm down in the world of MAB.


So I was feelin pretty awesome with my 80# cleans til I picked up some freaking ass Box crossfit magazine. I was talking to Dee about this the other day, how these girls are throwing around 100+# of weight and I'm sitting there thinking, "mother trucker." If it can be fine... I will do it, I may squish myself a few times, but what the hell :)


Been doing some counseling, last session I said something I've been aware of for years. But somehow knowing something isn't enough, it's almost like by saying it aloud you make it more solid, more tangible and easier to deal with. It makes the way I am make more sense. Being strong for others, having them constantly lean on you, rely on you, it can wear you down. This might be another reason why the gym is my fortress... it's where I can be strong for myself. I'm there for me, no one else. I struggle with it, but by taking baby steps I'm learning to make myself a priority. Wednesday is my treat for my hard work :) should be fun... I hope it's fun. I'll probably be nervous and feel stupid LoL

MAB
07-23-13, 10:39 pm
So far this wk:

Monday
Bench: 95# 100# 105# 115#
Cleans: 65# 75#x2. 85#x2
Good mornings: 45# 50#x2. 55#x2
Incline bicep curls and decline cable flies



Tomorrow is the shoot... I'm trying not to think about it. This weekend is the Cbus ABC and I'll be riding up with Tark and his crew. Looking forward to seeing everyone... ahem! DEE! LoL

Any who... Time for some beauty sleep!

GUNS
07-24-13, 10:54 am
I just know my spiked heels are amazing and are coming with me. Hair will be styled, make-up will be done... :-D



Ive seen pics, impressed!

Good to see your training is still going and looks like good!

Kowboy
07-24-13, 11:07 am
I understand how cleans are supposed to work, I can chat w/ you on Saturday. Once my leg is clear I also plan on working on them on Saturday mornings. I have access to an ex pan-am oly lifter and I have a dvd set on oly lifting so I am hoping to make progress. If you can do 80 i would be willing to bet that w/ the proper form you could do the 100. What is your front squat at?

MAB
07-24-13, 8:40 pm
Ive seen pics, impressed!

Good to see your training is still going and looks like good!


Impressed with my heels? LoL Jimmy! You can borrow them any time you like ;-P

Yup, training is still going. I don't like to post my specifics bc I pay for my programs and that's just not fair to me or my trainer to put it out there for anyone to snag. My training is ongoing unless otherwise stated. I need to at least log my weights here... I've been slacking on here :(


I understand how cleans are supposed to work, I can chat w/ you on Saturday. Once my leg is clear I also plan on working on them on Saturday mornings. I have access to an ex pan-am oly lifter and I have a dvd set on oly lifting so I am hoping to make progress. If you can do 80 i would be willing to bet that w/ the proper form you could do the 100. What is your front squat at?


LoL Mark, I'm still learning, so I have no clue what oly is, but you should fill me in for sure Saturday. I'm a sponge, I LOVE to learn. And I'll definitely take critique on my cleans! Improvement is the name of the game... I want to be a pretty beast, a beef cupcake :) y'all can help with deads too!

GUNS
07-25-13, 9:07 am
Impressed with my heels? LoL Jimmy! You can borrow them any time you like ;-P!
Haha, I don't think you understood me, but we will leave it at that!


Fully understand and fully agree about not throwing a program out there that your purchasing.

Kowboy
07-25-13, 7:30 pm
Haha, I don't think you understood me, but we will leave it at that!


Fully understand and fully agree about not throwing a program out there that your purchasing.

You may get more then you ask for, I bet he has already emailed you his address.

MAB
07-25-13, 9:24 pm
Haha, I don't think you understood me, but we will leave it at that!


Fully understand and fully agree about not throwing a program out there that your purchasing.


I really was just teasing, but yeah you're probably right. I probably didn't fully understand what exactly you were impressed by. Perhaps the height of my heels? Heels do make me giraffe tall...


You may get more then you ask for, I bet he has already emailed you his address.

Haha, I wouldn't be surprised Mark... he needs them to go with his cape. He's probably digging through Wendy's closet now to start practicing walking in heels ;-)

Kowboy
07-25-13, 9:27 pm
I bet he is, I am just hoping he uploads it for us all to see.

MAB
07-25-13, 9:36 pm
I bet he is, I am just hoping he uploads it for us all to see.

Oh yeah! Jimmy, what is it you like to say? Video or it didn't happen.

GUNS
07-26-13, 10:15 am
I really was just teasing, but yeah you're probably right. I probably didn't fully understand what exactly you were impressed by. Perhaps the height of my heels? Heels do make me giraffe tall...



Haha, I wouldn't be surprised Mark... ;-)

Haha, all this funny talk huh! Hey, Im just a sucker for a sexy woman! That is all!

Kowboy
07-26-13, 10:24 am
Giraffe tall huh? Well I will do my best to make sure you don't feel tall around me.

Jimmy, I agree and I am a sucker for the same thing. We are only human right?

GUNS
07-26-13, 10:28 am
Yep!

RedlegDbell
07-26-13, 11:31 am
Disappointed that I just found this thread. You should put this in your sign Mikel. I have some reading to do now LOL. See you tomorrow!

MAB
07-26-13, 2:50 pm
Haha, all this funny talk huh! Hey, Im just a sucker for a sexy woman! That is all!


Hey, deadlifting in heels would be similar to deficits, wouldn't it? LoL, Jimmy, sexy and me don't go in the same sentence. I'm too much of a goof :) Thanks though!


Giraffe tall huh? Well I will do my best to make sure you don't feel tall around me.

Jimmy, I agree and I am a sucker for the same thing. We are only human right?

I won't be sporting heels at the gym, maybe boots afterwards, but they'll only add an inch ;-)



Disappointed that I just found this thread. You should put this in your sign Mikel. I have some reading to do now LOL. See you tomorrow!

Steve! I have no clue how to add this to my signature :-/ I'll try to figure it out. See ya in less than 24!

RedlegDbell
07-26-13, 4:42 pm
Steve! I have no clue how to add this to my signature :-/ I'll try to figure it out. See ya in less than 24!

I just copied the web address of page 1 of my journey and pasted it into my signature under profile settings. At some point one of the very helpful Forvm administrators will turn it into a link that reads "MAB's Journey"

Chivalry
07-27-13, 3:31 pm
Steve! I have no clue how to add this to my signature :-/ I'll try to figure it out. See ya in less than 24!

(Journey Name Goes Here)

Just delete the spaces and the ()'s in between them. :)

MAB
07-30-13, 9:47 pm
"I have no destination, only a journey of discovery. I was never meant to be a captive of my body. I am meant to be a pioneer of my life.“


I feel that when we are truly living we should never be satisfied. We should be on a quest for knowledge, learn how to do as much as we can, be constantly growing and pushing our boundaries.

I've been on a journey of self discovery here of late. I've discovered that I'm stronger than even I knew. I'm discovering that life and struggle go hand in hand. Without struggle we would simply coast. We're meant to make big wake, our lives ripple out and touch the lives of those around us, inspire those around us whether or not it is our intention to do so.

Just thoughts... so many thoughts in my heart and on my mind. Do little words with which to express them. There are times I wish I could physically grab what's inside of me and press it to another person's heart so they would truly understand. Creepy, I know. LoL maybe a little Repoman (I'm talking the Genetic Rock Opera, not the Sci-Fi knock off).

MAB
07-30-13, 9:50 pm
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7AjlT406_s&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Just in case anyone's curious...

GUNS
07-31-13, 9:26 am
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7AjlT406_s&feature=youtube_gdata_player


Just in case anyone's curious...

That's pretty awesome!

MAB
07-31-13, 9:16 pm
That's pretty awesome!

Check it out, they've got some recognizable names on their roster and I found it thoroughly entertaining and the music spine tingling at times :-) I mean who wouldn't be scared shitless of a 6'6" Repo-Man coming to collect your organs?



Got my thumb drive of pictures today. I'm pleased for sure, going back for more; I've just got so many ideas.

Been thinking of trying acupuncture and maybe visiting this massage and chiropractic salon I found. Anyone have any feedback on being poked with needles or being snap-crackle-popped?


Been keeping my eye out for yoga dvds and books as well. I always feel more functional with daily stretching and I like more than most. Plus I find it totally peaceful.

MAB
08-07-13, 9:04 pm
I had my first acupuncture session the other day. Now let me say that I'm a total needle-phobe. I freak out and hold my breath, which makes getting shots or blood work more painful and leads to passing out (which I've never done, knock on wood). It was the oddest sensation. When the acupuncturist got to my trouble areas in my shoulder it was almost as if there were screws attached to my muscles and he was twisting them, loosening my muscles. It didn't feel at all like someone was sticking needles into my skin. Every time I've found myself getting a deep tissue/ Swedish massage I would wish that they could just flay me open and actually rub the muscle... this was sooooo much better than a freaking massage. I had needles all along my shoulder blade, up into my trap and neck, my rear delts, and even into that upper lat area by your freaking armpit. None of it hurt.

Afterwards I had the area worked on rubbed down with some lavender, eucalyptus, and tylenolish oil and left feeling marvelous.

I would totally go again.




Cleans this wk I went up to 90# I know for a fact my form is still way off even after working with Trebin at the last ABC... I'll get it eventually. It's just frustrating the hell out of me...

MAB
09-14-13, 9:41 am
I haven't posted in months it seems. Just stopping in before I go about the rest of my day.

After over 48hrs of labor my baby sister was taken in for a c-section. My nephew was born on September 11th sometime after 9PM (still haven't gotten the exact time). He weighed in at 9.24lbs and came into this world with his first black eye (from the Doc). He's perfect... I have a nephew and niece already and I love them with all my heart, but there's something a little different with this little guy coming from my sister, not my brother... It's almost as if he feels like more a part of us. Maybe it also has to do with him being the first born to a MAB... I dunno.

You will never really experience love in it's purest form until you hold a newborn given to your family. I'm sure the love feels even stronger when it's your own child you're holding. But the love you feel for friends is different, the love you feel for the family you're born to is even different. When you're holding something so innocent and pure, so defenseless what you're feeling is purely uninhibited... I dunno how to express it adequately. They can't give anything to you, even if you are a selfless person and give without thought of what you'll receive or be owed the love feels different. It was a very refreshing experience, one Ill never forget for many reasons.


Anywho, training is still on. I've stumbled a few times... I'm experiencing new aches and pains but still truckin along. Taking a month off larger moves to let my body rest, but still work through everything. I've had a few times of being down on myself bc of others or even bc of things I can't control (genetics, being taller, etc), but I get a swift kick in the butt and clear my head.

Working on some goals outside the gym that I'm determined to accomplish... even surpass. I'm stubborn, I'm thick skulked (I'm ScottIrish) and I expect a certain level of performance from myself, so it's more likely Ill squash whatever is on my list :)


Time to get cleaned up and go see my baby MAB and nephew before they're discharged :)

MAB
10-10-13, 6:58 am
I've been slacking... Looked at my last few posts and I was posting about once a month LOL

New for me? A new nephew... He's super cute! Hmmm government shutdown is making my job interesting to say the least.


Saying the least makes me think of a book I'm currently reading... It's been putting some things into perspective for me. I'll probably post/ quote a few things on here eventually. I've already dried out one highlighter and I've only made it past chapter 1. Which is kinda sad as I finished an 830+ page book in four days about two weeks ago... I'm not even sure this book tops 300pages. Eh, book nerd ordeals.

Anywho, the book is Daring Greatly. It's about vulnerability. How there's a common misconception that being vulnerable is being weak. That shutting off emotions and not feeling anything is strength or at least leads to not being hurt... It's been interesting. The points and examples/ studies are valid. It's enlightening.

It even goes on to touch on tmi or being an open book, how over sharing or sharing with people who haven't earned that right yet is not being vulnerable... I know a friend had this talk with me months ago, pointing out that I was over sharing and that I don't know who exactly can see what I post. I appreciated the concern, I mulled the advice over, but it didn't really make sense to me until I read this:

"Vulnerability is based on mutuality and requires boundaries and trust. It's not over sharing, it's not purging, it's not indiscriminate disclosure. Vulnerability is about sharing our feelings and our experiences with people who have earned the right to hear them. Being vulnerable and open is mutual and an integral part of the trust-building process.
We can't always have guarantees in place before we risk sharing; however, we don't bare our souls the first time we meet someone. We don't lead with 'Hi, my name is Such & Such, and here's my darkest struggle.' That's not vulnerability. That may be desperation or wounded ness or even attention seeking, but it's not vulnerability. Why? Because sharing appropriately, with boundaries, means sharing with people with whom we've developed relationships that can bear the weight of our story.
Vulnerability without boundaries leads to disconnection, distrust, and disengagement. ... boundary less disclosure, in fact, is one way we protect ourselves from real vulnerability."

Needless to say my wheels have been a turnin as I mull over and try to remember what all I've said and how much I've dispelled on the Forvm, to new friends, etc... I think certain things have been at the forefront of my thoughts and on my mind so constantly that they've blocked me from making real connections or engaging fully in anything. The first step to fixing something is being aware it's there and needs fixed. This is my awareness. I never said I wasn't a work in progress :)


Hmm... Training is at a bit of a stand still for the week I'm hoping. Going back to an old training split for now, but looking forward to something new to keep me engaged and shake things up a bit. Hit some PRs a few weeks back, but got way too pissy and impatient with myself and my progress and ended up doing more damage than good/ growth. My patience with myself is always lacking. I need to work on this. Running before you can walk is never a pretty sight.

Looking forward to the 19th. I'm thinking ill head into the gym early so I can get my training out go the way and spend the ABC taking pics :) should be fun.

MAB
10-10-13, 7:28 am
Also meant to say (with my quote from Daring Greatly) that if I offended, overwhelmed, alienated, aggravated, or just plain made anyone think badly of me then I'm truly sorry for my social moronicness and would love another chance (not another chance to annoy or alienate) :-P

deanna7272
10-10-13, 8:12 am
Also meant to say (with my quote from Daring Greatly) that if I offended, overwhelmed, alienated, aggravated, or just plain made anyone think badly of me then I'm truly sorry for my social moronicness and would love another chance (not another chance to annoy or alienate) :-P

You're too funny, but I think that's why we <3 ya... Well, that and the fact that you know where to get some kick ass ice cream...lmao

What you quoted in the first post is true... I'm sure I may have made others uncomfortable with my openness, probably saying too much. I had a childhood friend say that I would over share. In my defense (right or wrong) I will say this... I have been through a lot of crap in my life, as many people have. From family dysfunction (alcohol/drug addictions, suicide, divorce when it wasn't the norm) broken (friends and intimate) relationships, etc. When beginning relationships (friends and intimate) I wanted them to know WHAT has made me who I am. Probably in a sense, the dysfunction made me a stronger person when I thought I was at my weakest. There were trust issues, enabling, codependency, but on the upside I feel that I grew from all the dysfunction around me. When I shed a tear, I felt I was weak, but those tears made me stronger. For that, I'm not ashamed of where I came from, it's made me "me" like it or not. With teaching what I do, (Health as far as mental, social, and physical well being) in this day and age, I do not hide my past and I have made connections with students that no other teacher could because I was there.

Anyway, there are pros and cons to sharing and I may have made/lost connections because of it, but I wouldn't look at it as vulnerability, per se, but who am I to say...lol. Well, I guess I wil end this now before I have to make an appointment with the nearest psychologist...

So wish I could make it for the 19th... It's our first day of tournaments and I have to coach BOTH teams, so that Saturday is out for me...Ugh. ... AND You better be excited about the following weekend also... Carol is in, so she will be coming down with me!! Can't wait to see ya!!!

RedlegDbell
10-11-13, 2:43 am
Been slacking on my journey too. It happens but at least you have a new addition to the family. Congratulations to the family. Can't wait to see you again Mikel!

MAB
10-16-13, 9:00 pm
Thanks Steve!! He's so freaking cute I can't stand it lol.

Currently reading The Cube Method... Had a talk with a lovely lady friend of mine. ;-) And she reminded me that learning is half the fun of the journey we're all on; learning through trial and error, learning through the wisdom of others, and wisdom through books (which is an extension of other people's wisdom). It's a very informative and interesting read. I've nearly read the whole thing and I bought it just a few hours ago.

If anyone has any other books they've read or are reading please share!

Chivalry
10-16-13, 9:12 pm
If you enjoyed Brandon's Cube Method, you can always look into his new one 365 Strong, which I think is better.
Dave Tate has two books out called Under the Bar and Raising the Bar that I think you'd enjoy if you like things that open up your mind and really look at certain things. I just finished Under the Bar and it's truly an eye opener, not only in his talking about lifting, but also his life and what its all about, things like Criticism, preservence, Dedication, Risk. Very good stuff.

Congratulations on the nephew!

deanna7272
10-16-13, 9:15 pm
Thanks Steve!! He's so freaking cute I can't stand it lol.

Currently reading The Cube Method... Had a talk with a lovely lady friend of mine. ;-) And she reminded me that learning is half the fun of the journey we're all on; learning through trial and error, learning through the wisdom of others, and wisdom through books (which is an extension of other people's wisdom). It's a very informative and interesting read. I've nearly read the whole thing and I bought it just a few hours ago.

If anyone has any other books they've read or are reading please share!

Ummmm... I ALSO talked with a lovely gal and she told me about her The Cube Method purchase, so I went and purchased it myself... What great women we have in our lives, right??? ;-)

I'm going to start ASAP... Possibly as I am doing cardio (in about 10 minutes...)

GUNS
10-16-13, 10:28 pm
Thanks Steve!! He's so freaking cute I can't stand it lol.

Currently reading The Cube Method... Had a talk with a lovely lady friend of mine. ;-) And she reminded me that learning is half the fun of the journey we're all on; learning through trial and error, learning through the wisdom of others, and wisdom through books (which is an extension of other people's wisdom). It's a very informative and interesting read. I've nearly read the whole thing and I bought it just a few hours ago.

If anyone has any other books they've read or are reading please share!

Im thinking about purchasing the Lilliebridge Method! 10 week meet prep. Maybe a nice xmas gift!

MAB
10-17-13, 3:39 pm
If you enjoyed Brandon's Cube Method, you can always look into his new one 365 Strong, which I think is better.
Dave Tate has two books out called Under the Bar and Raising the Bar that I think you'd enjoy if you like things that open up your mind and really look at certain things. I just finished Under the Bar and it's truly an eye opener, not only in his talking about lifting, but also his life and what its all about, things like Criticism, preservence, Dedication, Risk. Very good stuff.

Congratulations on the nephew!

Awesome! Thank you for the list! I'm a total book nerd and I'll definitely check them all out! That's a lot of exclamation points... I get overly excited LoL

MAB
10-17-13, 3:49 pm
Ummmm... I ALSO talked with a lovely gal and she told me about her The Cube Method purchase, so I went and purchased it myself... What great women we have in our lives, right??? ;-)

I'm going to start ASAP... Possibly as I am doing cardio (in about 10 minutes...)


Oh, you know what they say... great minds think alike LoL. Lemme know what you think about it! Did you load it into your iPad or do you have a Nook/ Kindle?



Im thinking about purchasing the Lilliebridge Method! 10 week meet prep. Maybe a nice xmas gift!

Jimmy! I'm adding that to my list as well! I feel like you don't need a reason or holiday to purchase a good book, but then again I grew up with a head librarian for a grandmother. I could get buff from lifting my tubs of books alone! I even have big arse Art History boiks that could break necks or backs if used in a violent fashion :-) Not that I'm a violent person or anything.

I like a lot of what I'm reading so far. I need people to discuss it with, but I don't want to post ideas and such where any Joe Schmoe can grab info bc that's not fair to Lilly or ppl who've purchased the book.


BUT, Dee, I think the real reason PL appeals to us is bc we're both fatties at heart and LOVE food. Try not to squeal with unadulterated joy when Lilly talks about eating like a big boy... I'm not quite sure it 100% pertains to us :-\

GUNS
10-17-13, 3:58 pm
Its ok for you to just eat as a big girl!

I just save some things for the wife to get me as gifts. She already spoils me and Im not a huge reader. I wont be training as a PL'r for a while either since my injury. So I have time!

MAB
10-17-13, 8:34 pm
Its ok for you to just eat as a big girl!

I just save some things for the wife to get me as gifts. She already spoils me and Im not a huge reader. I wont be training as a PL'r for a while either since my injury. So I have time!

Guess that makes sense: lift like a big girl, eat like a big girl. LoL

You'll be back and at it in no time! That's the thing about the people on this forum... we don't give up.

deanna7272
10-17-13, 9:52 pm
Oh, you know what they say... great minds think alike LoL. Lemme know what you think about it! Did you load it into your iPad or do you have a Nook/ Kindle?

BUT, Dee, I think the real reason PL appeals to us is bc we're both fatties at heart and LOVE food. Try not to squeal with unadulterated joy when Lilly talks about eating like a big boy... I'm not quite sure it 100% pertains to us :-\

I have it downloaded on my iPad AND my phone... I don't read much, but when I do, it's gym related...lol

Oh, I'm an admitted forever fat girl... I admit, I struggle with the eating part, not that I can't, I just KNOW what I look like when I do...lol. I want to be strong as I can be without looking like a refrigerator box...

Back to this forever fat girl thing... I just ate about 20 Hershey kisses... After the way tonight went, I deserve it... ((I also got back to school and a mom "fell asleep" and forgot to come get her daughter... I sat there for 80 minutes waiting... Poor thing...

Tomorrow will be the first day back to the gym... Saturday is the tournament, but we play early, so I can train after... I will be back to me in no time... Look out...lol

Chivalry
10-18-13, 8:08 pm
Awesome! Thank you for the list! I'm a total book nerd and I'll definitely check them all out! That's a lot of exclamation points... I get overly excited LoL

Haha, no problem at all! I'm a total book nerd as well. I'll be sure to drop in here with recommendations whenever I have them.

MAB
10-26-13, 10:42 pm
Haha, no problem at all! I'm a total book nerd as well. I'll be sure to drop in here with recommendations whenever I have them.

Definitely appreciate it! I'll make sure to keep posting any gems I happen to stumble upon.

MAB
11-04-13, 11:41 am
Ever have one of those leg days that results in being so sore that you visibly wince even when you sit on a cushioned sofa?
Yuuuup...

deanna7272
11-04-13, 5:50 pm
Ever have one of those leg days that results in being so sore that you visibly wince even when you sit on a cushioned sofa?
Yuuuup...

Or sitting down on the pot, standing up after the pot...lmao I usually let out a "youch, youch, youch!!"

MAB
11-07-13, 7:41 am
Or sitting down on the pot, standing up after the pot...lmao I usually let out a "youch, youch, youch!!"

I growl... pretty sure ppl who hear think I'm on crack.



Wake up this morning struggling to hear something. Just barely I hear this high pitched almost bird sound. My windows are shut, I'm focusing on the noise, half asleep. There it is! A kitten! Throw on my clothes, grab my mini mag from under my pillow, shuffle into my Tom's and I'm out the door.

I eventually find the little booger hiding on my neighbor's first floor patio inside their grill cover that had blown off the grill. I manage to grab the cover, kitten in tow, but I don't want to look like I'm stealing so I reach in for the little guy... I'm half asleep and clearly not thinking. While he's smaller than Chesty was when we adopted him 6yrs ago this lil guy is spitting and hissing and twisting and I don't have any freaking gloves. At one point I almost had him by the scruff, which should have settled him instantly, but I dropped the cover and he made a mad dash for some bushes.

I waited a few minutes for him to calm down and when I went looking for him I found another kitten coming to console him. So I opted for catching the two by using food and Chesty's old kitty carrier... after I eat my eggs I'm gonna see if they even touched the food I left for them. I feel bad that I let the one get away, but then I wouldn't have known there are two! They're way too little and it's getting really cold. I'm a sucker for animals. One day I'm gonna need a farm.

deanna7272
11-07-13, 9:04 am
Awww.... They are cuties... Freakin' crazy cuties though... I can imagine the sound and the squiggling!!!

((Why can't I get the girl's weekend convo out of my head.... Hello Kitty is forever ruined for me.... lmao lmao lamp!!!))

What are ya going to do with them, Chesty is gonna be pissed.... ;-) I can't imagine him being happy about the puffballs...lol

MAB
11-08-13, 5:56 pm
Awww.... They are cuties... Freakin' crazy cuties though... I can imagine the sound and the squiggling!!!

((Why can't I get the girl's weekend convo out of my head.... Hello Kitty is forever ruined for me.... lmao lmao lamp!!!))

What are ya going to do with them, Chesty is gonna be pissed.... ;-) I can't imagine him being happy about the puffballs...lol

He's not happy in the least. I dunno what I'm going to do with them! I called the humane society and sicsa! :-( Right now I'm just focusing on getting them used to people and fattening them up in a good way :-)

MAB
12-05-13, 5:50 pm
Updates:

The kittens I found have an awesome new home. One of my high school friends and her boyfriend decided they were in the market for a furrbaby and took both as they didn't want to separate them. They're names are Abra and Ripley.

About the time I found the two kittens a coworker's friend found a 3month old Maine Coon kitten playing in the middle of a back country road. She could tell he was an abandoned kitten bc he came right to her when she called to him. After finding a home for the bitty babies I thought maybe Chesty would like a friend, so now I've got a new furrbaby. His paws are huge and so much like a dog. Funny, both my cats are like dogs but in different ways. Chesty plays fetch, goes for walks on a leash, and growls/ charges the door whenever someone knocks. Sidhe is like a goofy, floppy puppy whose paws are too big, he doesn't want to lay on you, just be near you or beside you, and he plops down on the floor and inhales his food with legs sticking out at the sides.

I decided in the name Silky Sidhe. Kait Sidhe are from Gaelic folklore; they're like fae cats. They're said to be black with tufts of fur coming from their ears and white on their paws and chests, just like my Sidhe. There's a ton more to their legend, but I won't bore you with it :)

Training today was shoulders. Shoulder press machine, db lateral raises ss front raises, and ended it with some Arnold's. Trying to put the hood of my coat up while walking to the jeep in freezing rain was a failure.

Yesterday I went to the acupuncturist. Fritz is awesome... Yes, he's German... We did some work on my serratus muscles, my hip/ bum area, and some work for the sinus infection I've been fighting for two weeks now. Suffice it to say needles have replaced massages... They're more direct and the results last longer. I'm beyond pleased. Don't get me wrong, an occasional massage after a needle session would be sublime.

Tomorrow's leg day. I'll try to log on. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for a SNOW DAY, SNOW DAY, SNOOOOW DAYYYY! But I'd totally go for a two hour delay :-P keep your fingers crossed for me!

deanna7272
12-05-13, 9:13 pm
We have had a ton of rain today, I don't think it's supposed to turn over until tomorrow... In September, I bought Trans Siberian Orchestra tickets for Saturday in Pittsburgh... I'm hoping the weather issues are gone by then...lol. This is the 6th time that I'm seeing them, and from what I understand it may be the last time they are doing this Winter Tour ... I have seen it 5 times... My absolute favorite...

I think Carol is coming in with me on the 14th... Her bday was this past week, so that's makes TWO birthdays to celebrate...lol. The host hotel is the Marriott, not sure if there are rooms available, but I'm sure they have a ton to offer...lol

Can't wait!!

GUNS
12-05-13, 11:02 pm
Good to see you still getting some needle work done! And yes, been too long!

deanna7272
12-06-13, 8:05 am
Just an FYI...

We are doing a 2 hour early dismissal!!!! I will take it!!!

MAB
12-09-13, 6:39 pm
We have had a ton of rain today, I don't think it's supposed to turn over until tomorrow... In September, I bought Trans Siberian Orchestra tickets for Saturday in Pittsburgh... I'm hoping the weather issues are gone by then...lol. This is the 6th time that I'm seeing them, and from what I understand it may be the last time they are doing this Winter Tour ... I have seen it 5 times... My absolute favorite...

I think Carol is coming in with me on the 14th... Her bday was this past week, so that's makes TWO birthdays to celebrate...lol. The host hotel is the Marriott, not sure if there are rooms available, but I'm sure they have a ton to offer...lol

Can't wait!!

They'll still be doing winter tours. This is just the last year doing the Lost Christmas skit. I absolutely love TSO, they are totally worth the money :)


Today I started the last quarter of my twelve week training split. My arms and chest are still shaking.

Bench: twelve sets at 85# for multiple reps
Inc bench: 4sets of higher reps at 65#, last set to failure (12) at 85#
DB flies: 4sets of higher reps at 20#
1arm tri ext: 4sets of higher reps at 12#
Inc skull crushers: 4sets of higher reps at 30#, then a set to failure (13) at 40#

MAB
12-10-13, 8:37 am
Two hour snow delay!!! :)

deanna7272
12-10-13, 10:29 am
Two hour snow delay!!! :)

No school here!!! Woooo hoooo!!!!

MAB
12-10-13, 12:00 pm
You ever have one of those moments that leaves you with a perplexed look on your face and the question of, "when the hell did that happen?" Or, "how did I miss this?" Seems to follow a moment of profound (or perhaps not so profound) enlightenment. For a second you're sitting outside the window looking in on your life and you see everything clearly.

Yeah, apparently I've become rather impatient. I've been aware for some time now, but I just didn't realize how bad it's gotten. Mostly I seem to be impatient with myself, and I'll get to that later, but lately it's been creeping into other areas of my life or been projected towards other people. No one moves quick enough for me... An example:

driving with my sister to go to dinner; there's someone in front of me and they're just plain pissing me off. They're not driving fast enough. I grumble, " oh my god! They're driving sooooo slow!" To which my sister replies, "uh, they're driving the speed limit, Kel." And I mutter, "well they're not driving as fast as I think they should." She laughed, and the tension in me eased a bit, but wth has got me wound so tight?

When did I become so impatient? Especially with myself. I see it reflected in my training routine. I'm not warming up or stretching afterwards... I'm just jumping right in full force. BAM!! Diving head first, full speed ahead.... Into shark infested waters. That would be me. Jump right in, ask questions after it's all said and done.

I've found myself wondering lately if maybe I'm stir crazy? I'm used to having projects, crafts, art, whatever to occupy myself with. I love the smell of oil paints, of turpentine, hell I even love the freaking graying of my skin on my finger from where the turpentine sits as I hold my brushes. I love being absorbed in a sculpture, losing myself to clay, nails all brittle and dry. Or charcoal and graphite smeared across my face. I miss the chaos and the order that comes with creativity. I don't know why I stopped... It's something that needs further exploring.

As I'm going along on this journey, finding bits and pieces of me that got lost along the way I'm trying to figure out which pieces of the old will fit in with the me that my life so far has shaped me into. Guess I'm a work in progress.

"There is no exquisite beauty... Without some strangeness in the proportion." -Edgar Allen Poe

MAB
12-11-13, 10:43 am
Yesterday:
Dead lifts, bent over rows, assisted pull ups, hip thrusts, and hammy curls.... Soooo glad today is just biceps, it's getting hard to move lol


I'm hoping the weather clears itself up this weekend so I get to see some friendly faces for some birthday fun :)

Been watching the Viking series. It's very entertaining and interesting. Started delving more into their actual culture and society. Seems like a society I would've liked to have lived in. More on this later.


Go to song lately: Amon Amarth, As Loke Falls

Extreme
12-11-13, 11:28 am
You ever have one of those moments that leaves you with a perplexed look on your face and the question of, "when the hell did that happen?" Or, "how did I miss this?" Seems to follow a moment of profound (or perhaps not so profound) enlightenment. For a second you're sitting outside the window looking in on your life and you see everything clearly.

When did I become so impatient? Especially with myself.

I often do this exact same thing, and the impatience is a byproduct, haha. I want results now, not a week down the road or a month, or a year, or whatever the time frame may be to see results. Why can't I just have results NOW?!? But then I take another step back and look at my life from a different angle and perspective...and I see what I HAVE accomplished and the results I ALREADY got and I realize how grateful I am. Usually it ends up being the little things in life that keep me going and make me happy...I just get too impatient to always see them.

MAB
12-12-13, 10:35 am
I think my impatience comes mainly from my expectations. I expect a lot of myself... I expect the best. From other people maybe it's that I project what I would do onto them and when it doesn't align I become aggravated and impatient. But I'm not always impatient... Some days I'm pretty chill and nothing really gets to me. Maybe it's a stress reliever.

Biceps yesterday, shoulders today! I love shoulders... I love the way they burn. For me diff muscles burn to different degrees. Legs for instance... When my legs start to burn it's almost a sensation near a Charlie horse and it's often accompanied by the feeling that I'm going to vomit. When my back burns it's a bit annoying bc sometimes my muscles knot up and it affects my neck. But when my shoulders burn I can growl and plow on... I can smile and imagine my tiny muscle fibers tearing :) Today will be a good day.

MAB
12-15-13, 1:23 pm
So I'm pretty much a nerdy dork. Saw the official trailer for Godzilla and that video had me so stoked on my way into the gym Friday that I had an amazing workout :) I remember watching all the older goofy Godzilla movies with my uncle as a child. I loved them. Needless to say, I'm absolutely looking forward to this movie.

Yesterday turned into a bad day and I found refuge in the gym, trained bis and tris. Afterwards I grabbed some watercolor paper... I love oils on thick paper, just something about the texture. I know it's not practical, but not everything should last forever.


Wk 10 out of 12 starts tomorrow.

MAB
12-27-13, 11:56 am
Let's see... Since I was last on I turned 29 :). My bday came and went without much fuss. The girls at work painted our windows and got me a birthday cookie... With lots of frosting. Don't worry, I shared. One of the cleaning ladies heard me earlier in the week talking about my Cbus plans and my upcoming birthday and she asked if I was turning the big 21... LoL she was a bit shocked when I said 29. Guess the training isn't aging me as much as my sister threatened it would (boo yah!).

Christmas was a success. Got in my family time and managed to pleasantly surprise both my parents with their gifts. I also witnessed my dad's gift to my mom making her cry from surprise and joy... My moms not an overly emotional person and over the years she has put herself last, so it was cool to see her so happy over something and my dad put a lot of thought and effort into the gift (5x4ft frame full of original, uncut prints of Wacky Packs cards... Pretty cool).

Got to see my baby nephew, Holden. He's gettin so big! Totally relieved that he's looking more and more like our side of the family (considering certain circumstances).


Currently me shins and knees are bruised as Fawk. Dead lift training and cable kickbacks have made them pretty shades of blue and purple :) Still sittin around 170# My clothes aren't fitting differently accept in the thighs and maybe shoulders... Almost done with my 12 wk split. One week to go.

Chivalry
12-27-13, 3:06 pm
So I'm pretty much a nerdy dork. Saw the official trailer for Godzilla and that video had me so stoked on my way into the gym Friday that I had an amazing workout :) I remember watching all the older goofy Godzilla movies with my uncle as a child. I loved them. Needless to say, I'm absolutely looking forward to this movie.


I'm glad I'm not the only one who got overly excited about the new Godzilla trailer. It already looks ten times better than the original US one they did where he looked like an oversized iguana. Definitely the most looked forward movie to me of the new year, despite how many good ones are coming out.

Also, happy belated birthday and Merry Christmas! :)

MAB
01-04-14, 7:17 pm
I'm glad I'm not the only one who got overly excited about the new Godzilla trailer. It already looks ten times better than the original US one they did where he looked like an oversized iguana. Definitely the most looked forward movie to me of the new year, despite how many good ones are coming out.

Also, happy belated birthday and Merry Christmas! :)


Thanks! I hope you had a merry Christmas and a happy start to your new year :-)

Oh I will be in line for this movie the day it comes out. I hear it's supposed to be along the lines of the original idea of Godzilla. I've got a long list of movies I wanna see as well! The next installation of 300 for one!

MAB
01-06-14, 9:21 am
So it's been a while since I've really posted much of anything on here... at least something substantial.

Christmas came and went with little family drama... seems as if every holiday someone is pissing someone off. Guess that's what happens when you have a fairly sizable family. I got to see both of my nephews and my niece. Everything I got them they loved and was appreciated. I absolutely LOVE that my nephew Will loves books (the other two are too young to really enjoy story time). I totally surprised my dad with a gag gift... he always knows what he's getting, so this year I bought a Despicable Me fart blaster as a cover gift. That's the cool thing about my dad, he's still a bit of a child at heart, so when he opened his gift I actually had to prompt him to look under all the tissue paper. Needless to say my nephew loves Crappaw's gift as well.

I got a keyboard for my iPad, so if there are tons of typos I apologize as I have E.T. fingers and the keyboard is rather small. I'll get used to it.

I started rereading a few of my fitness and nutrition books. I also dove back into the book Daring Greatly. I picked up a word search book to do before bed as I find I'm spending too much time on my electronics and it's affecting my sleep. I am also hoping word searches or brain activities will help me cognitively. I'm coming to the realization that I'm a busy body... either that or I have a manageable ADHD. I'm happiest when I have things to do with my hands. So I've been making myself little projects. At work I asked parents to make About Me books to bring in for the kids to share with their peers and I figured if the parents have to then the teachers should have to as well. So yesterday I pretty much spent my rest day making an About Me book. I think the kids will enjoy looking at it.

I downloaded 53's Apple app Paper about a week ago and it's a little addicting. I'm not really a graphic arts person but it's nice to have these little notebooks and sketch books on my iPad to jot down ideas or make rough sketches of designs and things that pop into my head randomly. The only way it would get any better would be if they had a mini app version of Paper for my Android (or an iPhone... I'd consider making the switch from a Droid to an Apple for a mini Paper phone version).

Training wise I just finished up a 12 week split... I've got a week on my own and then I'll have a new split to torture myself with :) So far so good in my gym where the New Year's resolutioners are concerned... I keep dreading going in. A couple days ago I had to chase some dude off my bench. My stuff was there, it was obviously my bench. I had gone to put my dumbbells away and grab heavier ones, came back and the guy was standing there doing curls... he wasn't even using the bench... just standing right there staring at himself in the mirror curling 25s.... I walked right up, didn't even hesitate, got right in his personal space and I think he got the picture... he backed off without a word. Lack of gym etiquette pisses me off... honestly horrible manners in general piss me off. I mean come on people. We grew up with cartoons and Disney movies teaching us manners and morals from a freaking young age... Don't be a rude ass ignoranus.

Alright... rant over. Glad the base is closed today so I get into the gym before noon. Hope everyone is fairing well with Hercules spreading his winter chill. Stay warm and be safe :)