My Beast Transformation

[digitalbeast]

The transition from mortal man to a living breathing beast is not an easy one...but I like it that way. Everything in my life has been hard, it seems like I could never catch a break growing up. I was the fat kid, the kid you picked on in school, the kid that you took lunch money from, the kid that had no friends. But look at me now- once 300lbs, then down to 185...couldnt stand being that small so my transition started. I was 21 years old and married, training went down the tubes for the most part...I tried to live the animal lifestyle, the attitude but she didnt understand...she couldnt understand. Well a year later I was divorced after she cheated on me...alchohol flowed through my veins for what seemed like years but in reality was only 4 months.

Then I woke up...emerged from my temporary defeat...ill show her...ill show everyone.

Look at me now Bitch as I sit at a 210lb machine at what I consider to be just the start of my journey. People already stare, my veins in my arms and shoulders are proof of my journey thus far. People in the gym ask how long I have been juicing...I just laugh and ask if they are serious...I tell them that this is my reward from pain, suffering and hard work. The word "Maintain"...whats that? There is only one direction for me and that is up, I wont stop until I am a freak.

You want to find me I am in the gym showing those weights who there new master is. Mudvayne/Slipknot in my ears, my eyes on the prize- there is no stopping now for I am more serious now that I have ever been in my life. Its not weightlifting...its bodybuilding, its a longterm investment...a lifestyle...its animal and I will be one from here on out.

[excessive endorphins]

great props bro,living a rough childhood fuels me in the gym,and after hs when im out on my own ill be even 100% MORE fueld to be a freak..
use ur anger hate and past paiin to fuel urself bro,that shit works...

ur motivating..especially to us younger people..best of luck bro,you shud make a log with ur progress

peace
excessive

[brandona]

The transition from mortal man to a living breathing beast is not an easy one...but I like it that way. Everything in my life has been hard, it seems like I could never catch a break growing up. I was the fat kid, the kid you picked on in school, the kid that you took lunch money from, the kid that had no friends. But look at me now- once 300lbs, then down to 185...couldnt stand being that small so my transition started. I was 21 years old and married, training went down the tubes for the most part...I tried to live the animal lifestyle, the attitude but she didnt understand...she couldnt understand. Well a year later I was divorced after she cheated on me...alchohol flowed through my veins for what seemed like years but in reality was only 4 months.

Then I woke up...emerged from my temporary defeat...ill show her...ill show everyone.

Look at me now Bitch as I sit at a 210lb machine at what I consider to be just the start of my journey. People already stare, my veins in my arms and shoulders are proof of my journey thus far. People in the gym ask how long I have been juicing...I just laugh and ask if they are serious...I tell them that this is my reward from pain, suffering and hard work. The word "Maintain"...whats that? There is only one direction for me and that is up, I wont stop until I am a freak.

You want to find me I am in the gym showing those weights who there new master is. Mudvayne/Slipknot in my ears, my eyes on the prize- there is no stopping now for I am more serious now that I have ever been in my life. Its not weightlifting...its bodybuilding, its a longterm investment...a lifestyle...its animal and I will be one from here on out.

Good shit brother...
-B

[digitalbeast]

Thanks for the comments guys. To be honest I have been reading everything I can get my hands on for 3 years now. I have been on MANY forums and talked to many people but this forum is the first place where I have found people that think and feel like me.

We are a rare breed of lifters and while some of us are large and some of us are small trying to get large this community is indeed a brotherhood of people with the same mindset and goals.

Reading peoples experiences here inspires me to kill it and be serious. I have been going hard for a while but after reading some posts here it makes me want to go harder...it makes me want to surpass everyone that has ever doubted me in my life.

[Xraided831]

I trully feel ya on this one like you... I was one of those pudgy kids in school.!!! God I hated my life then... Then I turned my life around by playing football and now bodybuilding my one true passion... I look at pics then and I look at myself now and I can tell you the big difference!!! You and I see the impact bodybuilding has made because it changed and transformed our lives forever... Keep lifting dude and lift hard my brother!!!Just like you I love Pain ...lol !!!Peace

Xraided831-

[darkside64]

thats good bro. Keep up the hard work in the gym.

[digitalbeast]

I had an interesting experience at the gym this past weekend which made me have a lot on my mind about serious lifters vs. casual lifters....

You cant see me...

Nobody can. I hide under my hoodie and thats the way I like it. When you look at me questions run through your head..."I wonder how big he is under that hoodie", "I wonder why he is not using rediculous weight and lifting so slow like that", "I wonder how much gear hes on"...As soon as your done with a set you look to see where I am and to see if I was watching you...but I wasnt...I dont even know your here...You see thats your problem, thats why you stay small and you dont advance. You look at the gym as a social commitee I look at it as a 2nd home...another walk of life. I am not worried about you or how much your lifting. I dont care if at that moment your lifting more than me and grinning at me in the mirror next to me because your form is horrible. I am a rare breed...you are not. I am an animal and you are my breakfast...I am a beast and you are my bitch...and the best part about it is I dont even have to say anything because deep down inside of that small frame of yours you know it.

[digitalbeast]

Brothers,

I am writing this in hopes of getting some encouragement. Its been a bad 2 weeks. For about 2 months now I have been working around 80 hours a week...7 days a week but still making sure I am at the gym killing it 6 days a week.

Well...the last 2 weeks my strength, due to lack of sleep has just gone down the tubes. My body has taken a beating and im so tired...Anytime I sit down whether it be at work or when I finally sit down at the end of the day I practically pass out.

I have been working my normal 9-5 monday thru friday, bouncing at a bar on tuesdays and fridays and doing a construction side job with my dad on the weekends.

I dont drink or party...I just cant ever sleep even when I go to bed...but I drag ass all day at work.

I quit bouncing on tuesdays so I wont be up so late on a week night.

I look in the mirrior and I feel discouraged. I mean I know I could be so much bigger and I was doing so well, I feel that these last 2 weeks have been a huge setback. I mean I have been going every day like I normally due but the intensity is not there, the strength is not there...its depressing and screwing with my head.

I was going supp free (except for protien and multi) for the last month but I just ordered all my supps and they should be here friday. I dont have to do construction this weekend so I plan on resting all weekend and really putting the pedal to the metal next monday.

Has anyone else had a "im tired" setback that they had to overcome or deal with?

[osiris]

I think most guys with kids know the feel'n of being dead tired, mine just turned 9months and she still wakes during the night. I think the changes you made will help you a lot.

[P_Venkman]

Well you did the right thing by ordering a multivitamin. A good multivitamin will definitley help with recovery. What you want to do is minimalize the stress on your body. For starters Id cut back on training sessions to no more than 4 days a week, preferably 3 until you stop working so much. Get your diet in check, and make sure your getting at least 1g of protein per lb. of bodweight. Extra carbs are necessary too, due to the fact that your constantly working, especially in construction. As far as the sleep problem, just get as much as you can. Obvisouly 8 hrs a night is recommended, but I believe the body can adapt as long as your not overdoing it with the training. Post Workout is also a very important time for overall recovery. Get in plenty of protein and carbs immediately after you hit the weights. Proper nutrition at this time can make or break your recovery time for days to come. Hope this helps bud, any specific questions just let us know.....

[T_N_Muscle]

Brothers,

I am writing this in hopes of getting some encouragement. Its been a bad 2 weeks. For about 2 months now I have been working around 80 hours a week...7 days a week but still making sure I am at the gym killing it 6 days a week.

Well...the last 2 weeks my strength, due to lack of sleep has just gone down the tubes. My body has taken a beating and im so tired...Anytime I sit down whether it be at work or when I finally sit down at the end of the day I practically pass out.

I have been working my normal 9-5 monday thru friday, bouncing at a bar on tuesdays and fridays and doing a construction side job with my dad on the weekends.

I dont drink or party...I just cant ever sleep even when I go to bed...but I drag ass all day at work.

I quit bouncing on tuesdays so I wont be up so late on a week night.

I look in the mirrior and I feel discouraged. I mean I know I could be so much bigger and I was doing so well, I feel that these last 2 weeks have been a huge setback. I mean I have been going every day like I normally due but the intensity is not there, the strength is not there...its depressing and screwing with my head.

I was going supp free (except for protien and multi) for the last month but I just ordered all my supps and they should be here friday. I dont have to do construction this weekend so I plan on resting all weekend and really putting the pedal to the metal next monday.

Has anyone else had a "im tired" setback that they had to overcome or deal with?

Been there many times. Its like a domino effect, the more u work, the more tired u become, then it affects the mind, then you see urself in the mirror, and u dont see ANYTHING but a marshmallow. DUDE, STOP BEATING YOURSELF UP!! YOU NEED A BREAK! Take some time off. Its worked for many a PRO. Your muscle has memory, and, if you rest your body then after 2 weeks come back,, you shock the shit out of it and it will (I PROMISE) respond in an incredible way!!

Take some time off for your body and mind.... now that doesntmean u get to sit in a recliner and eat pizza and ice cream. Take ur supps, stick to ur diet and LISTEN TO YOUR BODY!!!

No need to feel guilty. all that accomplishes is a psychological beating, and u dont need that right now.

[NickSP]

Well damn bro, with 7 days work and 80 hours, with the gym 6x, what'd you expect? haha definitely a good call on taking out that day of bounching, ever try some sort of sleep aid? ZMA or Melatonin or something, give it a shot. What I think you need to do first and foremost is take advantage of this weekend off, and cut your workouts down a day or two, I personally don't see much need for 6 days, what's your split?

[brandona]

Now you knew you were going to find some encourgement here....shit bro we have all been there...i find that mostly it for me it is mental exhusation....brain just shuts down.....taking the weekend off will help a ton...and a lot of people dont know how hard bouncing is...shit after throwing people out all night we had to take out the fucking trash.....that sucks.....take some time off, eat well, and most important relax some......dont worry.....you'll get past this...
-B

[digitalbeast]

Thanks for the replies guys, I definitly feel a little bit better.

My split is 2 muscle groups a day twice a week:

-Chest/Tris
-Back/Bi's
-Shoulders/Legs

Every day- abs/calves.

I ordered Animal Pak and Animal Nitro as well as cellmass, noxplode and some more protien.

I am just recently returning to Animal. I used it years back and got great results. I have seen phenominal results in the cellmass/noxplode stack as well. (This will be my 3rd cycle).

I am really hard on myself. I used to weigh 300lbs. So anytime I "feel" like I am going in the opposite direction or not killing it per say I get upset and worried lol.

[NickSP]

You work everything twice? Geez, any chance of convincing you to try once a week, at least for the bigger muscles? It would make things a hell of a lot easier at least until your work load eases up a bit, you'd be able to cut down to 3 days a week if you did that. Otherwise, here's an idea


chest/bi
legs
rest
back/tri
rest
shoulders
rest

use this if you feel you must do smaller muscles twice a week, just throw in a few extra tri sets on chest day (maybe you could even superset a few with bis after your chest workout, and then do the same thing with a small bi workout on back day). But honestly you might not even need that, because technically your bis and tris are already getting hit twice a week like this - once directly, and once with assistance work with back and chest, respectively.

[billmd1334]

Yeah bro you're definitely killing yourself... I'd take the advice of just taking a week or so off... or just drop down and do a 3 day split for a while and let your body recover. Getting to the gym is important to all of us here, but your health should be just as important, and it's not worth risking one, to get the other.

[Angst]

Hey bro, I've been through something similar to that. I took summer classes in college last year, 6 hours striaght, the only break i got was walking from one class to the next. Had to bring shakes with me 'cause i got no time to eat. I got so tired during that time I can drink a can of Red Bull and still fall asleep right away.
Needless to say I have no time to workout so I took a month off. I have to do good in school 'cause my parents spent a thousand bucks on those summer classes, failing the class was not an option. Those class were intense, some people can even keep up with one, and I somehow passed all three.
Sure I lost some size and strength, but I got it all back soon enough. There are times when you gotta do what needs to be done. By taking some time off will only make you even more hungrier when you come back.
Hang in there bro

[digitalbeast]

Thanks once again guys for all the encouragement guys. Per your suggestion I am taking the rest of the week off from the gym.

I also told my security manager at the club I bounce at that I will no longer be doing tuesday nights after last night. SO I will only have to bounce on fridays (I have nothing to do on saturdays so its ok).

I dont have construction this weekend either so I plan on literally lazing around the house. I will probably get my supplements in the mail this thursday or friday so I will start fresh on monday with a hopefully engergized body as well as an energized attitude.

Thanks again, I guess we all just need a break once in a while.

[Millhouse]

I get up for work at 3:50 to be at work by 4:45 ...I abused caffeine for about 3 weeks when I started. I could drink any energy drink an literally feel no effects(waist of money). My work outs really were pathetic and I was sleeping all weekend except for those pathetic work outs. I found that naps were the best thing for me. Right after work I take a 45 min nap and then my amimal pak/ m-stack then I am ready to roll to the gym. Sleep is key phyically and mentally.

[Pokoritel]

Same here bro I get a crappy 4 hours of sleep a night. Going through the same shit work, school, Animal life etc... What I did was instead of training 6 days a week I switched my program to 4 times a week. Then I had 3 days of solid rest, but rest away from the gym not my life. So that helped me a lot. Get a little more organized cause I seriously have a planner and I write my entire day out and what I want to accomplish. Personally so far its been going great. I also get an hour of sleep during the day.

[Ricky P]

Hey brother, as you can see you're not alone. I think all of us go through something similar to this at one time or another. All you gotta do is come to one of us when you start feeling this come one, and we'll be here to pick you up, that's what this place is all about. Now if you feel you've lost two weeks - get yourself back and hammer the shit out of that gym, and get back that lost time with interest! Don't look in the mirror and be discouraged, be motivated!

[Gainer65]

When I'm putting in mega hours at work,I cut out isolation movements and just stick to the compound ones.An hour tops each workout, 5 days a week.

[digitalbeast]

In another post I expressed that after working 70+ hours a week for the last 2 months that bullshit called "being tired" caught up with me...so per a lot of your suggestions I took a much needed week off...

Its been a weak and I feel like shit...I have my energy back, I have my drive back but I look in the mirrior constantly and shake my head. I feel half the size and I know its all mental but I feel like I look half the size and its fucking with my head. Its KILLING me to sit at home and wish I was at the gym. For the past week I feel like I have been living through you all my brothers...reading your experiences and your logs wishing I could be feeling that same pump...o yea whats a pump feel like again? I have been offcycleing everything for about a month-month and a half now but my delivery from dps nutrition is coming in the mail today and starting this saturday the games are all over. I have new found goals and ambitions and nothing...nobody will stand in my way.

They say that you dream about things that are on your mind a lot. Well I had a dream last night that I was at the gym, every time I would finish a bodypart I forced myself to workout another one...I would destroy my biceps/triceps and then start on legs until I couldnt walk only to force myself over to the bench and start pressing away. I woke up afterwards to take a piss...I looked at myself in the mirrior and I realized what had to be done. I realized that I had the drive, the push, the want to do it too. I have been doing fitness related things for 3 years now. I started @ 300lbs and it took me about 2 years to get that off and get "fit" per say. The last year I have been lifting pretty serious but a lot happened (divorce being the biggest and most stressful). There is nothing holding me back now and if "it" whatever it may be starts to than it will be cut off.

I cant wait for tommorow when I rip my muscles and engorge them with blood and let my official mission "Project Beast" begin.

[T_N_Muscle]

"Its been a weak and I feel like shit...I have my energy back, I have my drive back but I look in the mirrior constantly and shake my head. I feel half the size and I know its all mental but I feel like I look half the size and its fucking with my head."

look up the term: Muscle Dysmorphia

[excessive endorphins]

"Its been a weak and I feel like shit...I have my energy back, I have my drive back but I look in the mirrior constantly and shake my head. I feel half the size and I know its all mental but I feel like I look half the size and its fucking with my head."

look up the term: Muscle Dysmorphia

every lifter/bodybuilder has that..
including me

[Preston]

The mind plays such dirty tricks on you.

[digitalbeast]

/Agreed my brother.

So...I bounce at this upper class top shelf bar on friday and sometimes saturday nights. I was working door last night and we had quite a few altercations. The "beautiful people" crowd always look down on others...they have this sense that money is everything and the people that dont have it are not worth there time so of course they enjoy giving me problems when I ask for simple things like there ID...

Well last night was my last night off the gym on my "break" to regain some much needed rest. I was so antsy as I sat there to get home and go to bed so that I could get up the next morning and start my new diet, supps and routine. My mind was on me and my path, my journey. I had just finished reading weeks 1 thru 16 of Wrath's journey and I have to say that just being on these boards and reading material from you guys as well as the articles written by "animals" have made me more mentally prepared and ready for my journey that I am about to partake in than ever. I looked around at all the people drinking...some young, some older and just thought to myself "what a waste of life..." Girls would come up to talk to me and it was such a turn off...I would just think in my head "have another one why dontcha?". All these wannabes that walk around like gorrila's pretending to be serious about there workouts drinking there lives away. We get "hourly" free shots at work for the staff. I turned mine down when my buddy and sometimes gym partner brought me mine. He was trying to pressure me into it.."its our last night before we get serious" he says...well I told him "I am already serious". I was surprised that he gave me shit for it...he is supposed to be like me but sometimes I think that were on different paths. Out of all the 200 people in the bar I felt as if I was the only one in there that understood where I wanted to go and where I was headed and I probably was.

I got off work, this girl I am sort of dating was supposed to come over...well she went out with her friends and her friends got trashed so she decided to stay there and sent me a text message telling me so. I just dont see things going anywhere with her. I mean shes cool...but I am not ready for a relationship I am ready to get big and thats all thats on my mind. When we hang out I find myself thinking about my bulking diet or supplements that I am taking...perhaps different ways of switching up my workout. Shit...thats all I seem to think about anymore.

I woke up this morning and made myself a half dozen eggs, a cup of oatmeal and a 50g protien shake. The new "extreme milk chocolate" flavor is probably the best tasting protien I have put in my mouth. I hit my cellmass, my animal pak and now I wait...just 1 hour and a half before I have an iron reunion. I cant wait to walk in those gym doors and feel the rush and the pump that I have not felt for a week now. I will make those weights my bitch and there is nothing anyone or anything can do to stop me...

[digitalbeast]

I dont know about you guys but I have seen this at the last 2 gyms I have been at...

Who:He is the guy that comes in weighing in at a whopping 125lbs rocking the tank top.

His plan: To grab ALL the db's from 55lb and below (basically like 20 weights) and bring them a location so that no one else can use them.

His routine: The "Ron Burgendy" 1,000 rep workout.

His purpose: To distrupt everyone elses workout.

Now believe me...when I am at the gym I dont focus on anything but...well me and my weights that I am making my slaves. But the other day when this guy came in I could not help but get annoyed. Not only did he take the 40's I was using while I went to get a drink of water which distrupted my workout but he did the same to like 3 other people...we were all standing there staring at him like "wtf..." It wasnt even like an angry stare...it was like a blank "why" stare lol.

Also I dont know what it is this week but EVERY time I superset it gets disrupted. I was doing calves inbetween ab sets and I was standing RIGHT NEXT TO THE MACHINE I WAS ON and the same kid came up and moved the pin to his desired weight and started reping sets...I just walked away and pushed myself even harder on another machine.

Most people at my gym know what gym ettiquette is...aparently this kid didnt get the memo. I am going to start educating him and a few others in there soon if they keep taking my weights.

This never used to happen...I am at a powerhouse which is one of the more serious gyms over lifetime fitness and family gyms and it never used to be this way here either. I wish there were more hardcore gyms. I could go to the one in detroit but its too far of a drive for my schedule.

[rcrott1]

digitalbeast, which powerhouse do you go to?

[emcdaniels]

We've got acouple kids like that in our gym also but this guys horde all the plates. They normally hog up about 15-20 plates between the two of them and never actually use any more then 2 or 3 at a time.

What really pisses me off is that when they finish with the plates they literally drop them on the floor and take off...I dunno dropping weights and then leaving them really gripes me.

[digitalbeast]

digitalbeast, which powerhouse do you go to?

Its in Southfield on evergreen and 12

[rcrott1]

i live at 10 and Vandyke if you ever want to train...hit me up on PM.

[Ratch]

We've got a similar situation at the gym over here. There's a guy that likes to snatch up all of the ten pound plates to do flat bench....and I mean ALL of them. We don't have that many, granted, but I don't say a word to him. It's pretty amazing to watch someone rep with 16 ten pound plates on the bar. At least there's no searching different trees for them when he's finished, ya know?

[Tron]

Gym etiquette is very underrated these days. Nothing is more annoying than a disturbed work out.

[Pokoritel]

I dont know about you guys but I have seen this at the last 2 gyms I have been at...

Who:He is the guy that comes in weighing in at a whopping 125lbs rocking the tank top.

His plan: To grab ALL the db's from 55lb and below (basically like 20 weights) and bring them a location so that no one else can use them.

His routine: The "Ron Burgendy" 1,000 rep workout.

His purpose: To distrupt everyone elses workout.

Now believe me...when I am at the gym I dont focus on anything but...well me and my weights that I am making my slaves. But the other day when this guy came in I could not help but get annoyed. Not only did he take the 40's I was using while I went to get a drink of water which distrupted my workout but he did the same to like 3 other people...we were all standing there staring at him like "wtf..." It wasnt even like an angry stare...it was like a blank "why" stare lol.

Also I dont know what it is this week but EVERY time I superset it gets disrupted. I was doing calves inbetween ab sets and I was standing RIGHT NEXT TO THE MACHINE I WAS ON and the same kid came up and moved the pin to his desired weight and started reping sets...I just walked away and pushed myself even harder on another machine.

Most people at my gym know what gym ettiquette is...aparently this kid didnt get the memo. I am going to start educating him and a few others in there soon if they keep taking my weights.

This never used to happen...I am at a powerhouse which is one of the more serious gyms over lifetime fitness and family gyms and it never used to be this way here either. I wish there were more hardcore gyms. I could go to the one in detroit but its too far of a drive for my schedule.

I know how you feel because people in my old gym were doing the same thing. Some guy just walks over and start taking my plates. I got sick and tired of all that. It came to a point where I didnt give a damn anymore, so everytime some schmuck took my shit or jumped in right in the middle I would just look at the moron and say "what the fuck are you doing?". They would feel stupid and just go away. Sometimes you got to be a little aggresive. I know it aint nice, but seriously you cant be taking that shit at all your workouts.

[ldskenpo]

why you guys gotta single me out llike this?
Seriously, I used to have the same problem, then the guy who would pull this crap seen me wig out one night and then left me alone since then.That and he came through a combatives course that I was instructing, I let him have it on the clinch drill, HA HA