KenMcQueen
02-14-14, 3:03 am
Although, there are many great divides within society many of us find ourselves aligned within the ranks of the unequal, the impoverished, and forgotten. However, from conception there is a single unifying trait that we all inherently possess. This trait is often overlooked due to the fact that many do not nurture it nor do they utilize it to its fullest. What I'm speaking of is simply known as Potential.
My entire life I have always been told that I have great potential in anything I do, however as I have grown older in body and mind it has come to realization that this is a falsehood.
The majority of my life's potential has been wasted in that I have yet to complete anything truly great. I often find myself putting fourth great effort with little or no return. I say this for the simple fact that although I have put great effort in to my ambitions I have not put the greatest.
I once heard a phrase that essentially stated " When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe then you will." I firmly believe that success and potential are closely related, so much so that they are inseparable. We all have the potential to succeed, with this I purpose the question " What is potential without effort?" The answer is simple: Nothing.
To further develop this thought I must mention that someone very close to me once said that I need a primary focus and that I "Can't do both to their fullest potential" in regards to two ongoing efforts within my life. Although, this assumption was valid I fear that they forgot a single ever growing factor: Determination.
Unlike Potential we are all born with varying levels of Determination. This trait is something we must foster within ourselves as it is most often born not out of privilege but disparity.
POTENTIAL + (greatest) EFFORT x DETERMINATION= SUCCESS
The above formula is how I shattered the the yoke within my life.
From an early age I found myself to be more than average when it came to strength and sports. Although my talent was grossly overrated, due to BIG FISH LITTLE POND SYNDROME, my ego was far worse. It had gotten to the point to where I no longer felt that I had an equal. This heightened sense of eminence soon proved to be my greatest down fall. Shortly after I won my first power lifting competition in 2006 I had gained an audience with several local college football recruiters with this victory also came the privilege of training with an State Chair for the USA Olympic Weightlifting Team. At this stage of life it seem the potential to be great was nearly within reach.
At this point I must foreshadow that I never competed at an Olympic trial, nor did I ever have a College Game Day. Instead, I recessed into a dark depression that nearly took my life. In the blink of an eye my disillusion of strength, prominence and power was broken. During a typical football practice session I performed a one-arm tackle that severed the tendons in my left hand. Instead of alerting our athletic trainer, I hid this injury. After days of non-use and paralysis I was forced to seek medical treatment by my mother who had noticed I no longer used my left hand during dinner.
Once I got to the ER I was diagnosed with several tendon ruptures, as well as a life threatening staph infection. Had for it not been for a miracle and an experimental surgery my left hand would have been amputated. Although the repair was a success in regards to medical standards I was informed I'd never be able to hold anything heavier than gallon milk jug nor would I be able to use the tips of my fingers.
Although my body had begun to heal and repair through extensive physical therapy the rest of my well being suffered. I had lost everything that seemed important. I could no longer play the sport I loved, no longer could I exert the force needed to move the weight. As light of my future faded so did the popularity. I found myself alone and depressed. Through this depression I gained a love for food and false sense of security it gave me. Although my injuries were physically recovered within a year and a half my mental state was much more fragile in that it took nearly three years for an acceptance of the truth. I was killing my self.
I found myself at a staggering 468lbs and a body fat percentage of at least 48% when someone had the courage to block the road of self destruction. To this I credit my mother. Her love and concern pressed me to go to the hospital. On arrival I was admitted into a special section of the hospital were I was in fact no longer the minority in regards to health and weight. Instead of sympathy I was given three choices.
1. Change nothing and finish life in my early 30's
2. Have massive surgery, which would ultimately require me to have a bag connected to my digestive system
3. CHANGE EVERYTHING
I left confused and broken. With this brokenness I searched for a cure. The first steps on my journey began with me trading my Xbox for a treadmill, because at that time I thought the only way to loose weight was to run it off. I had to be honest with myself shortly after the trade that I was not able to walk, much less run anywhere. So I began a search for a gym.
Once I got to the gym I realized that the equipment was on the second floor and getting up there was going to be more than a struggle. So I took this obstacle as first my challenge. Once arriving to weight training area I was greeted with an environment like I had ever seen before. Not only were there bars and weights like those in my previous life, but there also were these very large machines that perpetuated the notion that if you sit here it will fix all your problems. As I squeezed myself into those contraptions I learned two things: These were not designed for someone my size and I was doing a lot of sitting, which I could have done at home.
So I waddled over to the bench press, because like many former high school lifters it was the only thing I was comfortable with. In order to speed up this process and cover what truly matters I will omit the regiment of my early years as it consisted mainly of over bearing cardio, Pec-Flys, Bench Press and Smith Machine Squats. Which I learned later was nothing but good intentions. During this chapter of my life I spent every waking moment within the gym, roughly 5 hours a day 7 days a week. This resulted in massive weight loss, muscle loss, and a eating disorder. But I found myself at 198lbs and roughly 13% body fat.
Having spent the majority of my days at the gym I had the opportunity to witness the majority of people that came and went. There was always this group of guys that huddled around the squat rack every so often and with them they brought: chalk, belts, wraps, and these things called Animal Paks. Most of the, weighed about the same as me, but instead of excess skin and scars they were jacked.
So I began Power Lifting. I started by using the infamous 5-3-1 Method. I followed this method to the strictest, and even began to reintroduce many foods back into my diet. This lead me to 246lbs and competition total of just over 1k. Although the person I was previously would have mocked my current attempts I found this experience to bring something I had never felt before a sense of self worth unaffected by my surroundings. As I progressed in my training I prepared for my first big meet and even found myself within the pages of Power Lifting Magazine. I was also getting a total of around 1700 at this time, but as they history often repeats itself.
During a routine check up a large growing mass had been detected within my right leg and emergency surgery was the only option. As the surgeon prepped me for an operation that would cut away much of the muscle tissue in my right quad a complication had occurred. I developed a massive systemic infection that threatened the very presence of my right leg. With the removal of this infected tissue the nerves in my leg were also severely damaged and it was purposed that may never walk without assistance again if at all.
This is where the formula I mentioned earlier first comes into notion, POTENTIAL + (greatest) EFFORT x DETERMINATION= SUCCESS. Unlike my first experience with injury instead of sinking into depression I arose with a renewed spirit unlike I had ever had before. This is when I put forth my (greatest) EFFORT with all the determination I could muster. I began walking on crutches 3 days after my open wound surgery, I began walking on my own within a week,and I began training 3 weeks after.
Although I had to massive alter my training regiment and style I was still bale to make progress.
Post surgery it was suggested that I would first stand from a wheel chair after one year, instead I walked to the platform.
During this meet within the SPF Federation I total Elite within the 275lb weight class: JR Division
Squat:550
Bench:500
Dead Lift: 720
Total: 1770
This placed me within the top 10 ( Then 5th, Currently 8th)
I was also the first within these parameters to Bench Press 500lbs
From that moment to now I have had several other injuries including a rupture distal tendon in my right arm, but that has not stopped me from living my life to the fullest.
As such I will stepping on the platform again as an OPEN CLASS Lifter, and attempting the following Lifts:
Bench: 510
Squat:650-700
Dead Lift: 725-750
I appreciate those of you that took the time to read this. Although I hope this inspires you, truthfully I wrote this in order to remind myself of where I came from and where I am going.
The following post made by myself will consist of training logs, links to video, and other general thought I have in regards to my personal journey.
My entire life I have always been told that I have great potential in anything I do, however as I have grown older in body and mind it has come to realization that this is a falsehood.
The majority of my life's potential has been wasted in that I have yet to complete anything truly great. I often find myself putting fourth great effort with little or no return. I say this for the simple fact that although I have put great effort in to my ambitions I have not put the greatest.
I once heard a phrase that essentially stated " When you want to succeed as bad as you want to breathe then you will." I firmly believe that success and potential are closely related, so much so that they are inseparable. We all have the potential to succeed, with this I purpose the question " What is potential without effort?" The answer is simple: Nothing.
To further develop this thought I must mention that someone very close to me once said that I need a primary focus and that I "Can't do both to their fullest potential" in regards to two ongoing efforts within my life. Although, this assumption was valid I fear that they forgot a single ever growing factor: Determination.
Unlike Potential we are all born with varying levels of Determination. This trait is something we must foster within ourselves as it is most often born not out of privilege but disparity.
POTENTIAL + (greatest) EFFORT x DETERMINATION= SUCCESS
The above formula is how I shattered the the yoke within my life.
From an early age I found myself to be more than average when it came to strength and sports. Although my talent was grossly overrated, due to BIG FISH LITTLE POND SYNDROME, my ego was far worse. It had gotten to the point to where I no longer felt that I had an equal. This heightened sense of eminence soon proved to be my greatest down fall. Shortly after I won my first power lifting competition in 2006 I had gained an audience with several local college football recruiters with this victory also came the privilege of training with an State Chair for the USA Olympic Weightlifting Team. At this stage of life it seem the potential to be great was nearly within reach.
At this point I must foreshadow that I never competed at an Olympic trial, nor did I ever have a College Game Day. Instead, I recessed into a dark depression that nearly took my life. In the blink of an eye my disillusion of strength, prominence and power was broken. During a typical football practice session I performed a one-arm tackle that severed the tendons in my left hand. Instead of alerting our athletic trainer, I hid this injury. After days of non-use and paralysis I was forced to seek medical treatment by my mother who had noticed I no longer used my left hand during dinner.
Once I got to the ER I was diagnosed with several tendon ruptures, as well as a life threatening staph infection. Had for it not been for a miracle and an experimental surgery my left hand would have been amputated. Although the repair was a success in regards to medical standards I was informed I'd never be able to hold anything heavier than gallon milk jug nor would I be able to use the tips of my fingers.
Although my body had begun to heal and repair through extensive physical therapy the rest of my well being suffered. I had lost everything that seemed important. I could no longer play the sport I loved, no longer could I exert the force needed to move the weight. As light of my future faded so did the popularity. I found myself alone and depressed. Through this depression I gained a love for food and false sense of security it gave me. Although my injuries were physically recovered within a year and a half my mental state was much more fragile in that it took nearly three years for an acceptance of the truth. I was killing my self.
I found myself at a staggering 468lbs and a body fat percentage of at least 48% when someone had the courage to block the road of self destruction. To this I credit my mother. Her love and concern pressed me to go to the hospital. On arrival I was admitted into a special section of the hospital were I was in fact no longer the minority in regards to health and weight. Instead of sympathy I was given three choices.
1. Change nothing and finish life in my early 30's
2. Have massive surgery, which would ultimately require me to have a bag connected to my digestive system
3. CHANGE EVERYTHING
I left confused and broken. With this brokenness I searched for a cure. The first steps on my journey began with me trading my Xbox for a treadmill, because at that time I thought the only way to loose weight was to run it off. I had to be honest with myself shortly after the trade that I was not able to walk, much less run anywhere. So I began a search for a gym.
Once I got to the gym I realized that the equipment was on the second floor and getting up there was going to be more than a struggle. So I took this obstacle as first my challenge. Once arriving to weight training area I was greeted with an environment like I had ever seen before. Not only were there bars and weights like those in my previous life, but there also were these very large machines that perpetuated the notion that if you sit here it will fix all your problems. As I squeezed myself into those contraptions I learned two things: These were not designed for someone my size and I was doing a lot of sitting, which I could have done at home.
So I waddled over to the bench press, because like many former high school lifters it was the only thing I was comfortable with. In order to speed up this process and cover what truly matters I will omit the regiment of my early years as it consisted mainly of over bearing cardio, Pec-Flys, Bench Press and Smith Machine Squats. Which I learned later was nothing but good intentions. During this chapter of my life I spent every waking moment within the gym, roughly 5 hours a day 7 days a week. This resulted in massive weight loss, muscle loss, and a eating disorder. But I found myself at 198lbs and roughly 13% body fat.
Having spent the majority of my days at the gym I had the opportunity to witness the majority of people that came and went. There was always this group of guys that huddled around the squat rack every so often and with them they brought: chalk, belts, wraps, and these things called Animal Paks. Most of the, weighed about the same as me, but instead of excess skin and scars they were jacked.
So I began Power Lifting. I started by using the infamous 5-3-1 Method. I followed this method to the strictest, and even began to reintroduce many foods back into my diet. This lead me to 246lbs and competition total of just over 1k. Although the person I was previously would have mocked my current attempts I found this experience to bring something I had never felt before a sense of self worth unaffected by my surroundings. As I progressed in my training I prepared for my first big meet and even found myself within the pages of Power Lifting Magazine. I was also getting a total of around 1700 at this time, but as they history often repeats itself.
During a routine check up a large growing mass had been detected within my right leg and emergency surgery was the only option. As the surgeon prepped me for an operation that would cut away much of the muscle tissue in my right quad a complication had occurred. I developed a massive systemic infection that threatened the very presence of my right leg. With the removal of this infected tissue the nerves in my leg were also severely damaged and it was purposed that may never walk without assistance again if at all.
This is where the formula I mentioned earlier first comes into notion, POTENTIAL + (greatest) EFFORT x DETERMINATION= SUCCESS. Unlike my first experience with injury instead of sinking into depression I arose with a renewed spirit unlike I had ever had before. This is when I put forth my (greatest) EFFORT with all the determination I could muster. I began walking on crutches 3 days after my open wound surgery, I began walking on my own within a week,and I began training 3 weeks after.
Although I had to massive alter my training regiment and style I was still bale to make progress.
Post surgery it was suggested that I would first stand from a wheel chair after one year, instead I walked to the platform.
During this meet within the SPF Federation I total Elite within the 275lb weight class: JR Division
Squat:550
Bench:500
Dead Lift: 720
Total: 1770
This placed me within the top 10 ( Then 5th, Currently 8th)
I was also the first within these parameters to Bench Press 500lbs
From that moment to now I have had several other injuries including a rupture distal tendon in my right arm, but that has not stopped me from living my life to the fullest.
As such I will stepping on the platform again as an OPEN CLASS Lifter, and attempting the following Lifts:
Bench: 510
Squat:650-700
Dead Lift: 725-750
I appreciate those of you that took the time to read this. Although I hope this inspires you, truthfully I wrote this in order to remind myself of where I came from and where I am going.
The following post made by myself will consist of training logs, links to video, and other general thought I have in regards to my personal journey.