Starting Over

[Brandon Lilly]

What's up guys, and girls? I have felt the need to write this for a long time, and as you will hopefully see/understand when you read this that it has taken some time to get to this point. I mentioned this in a video a week or so back, but I am a lifter. I write, make videos, and coach because I love the sport. When I fell, injuring my knees, I lost the one thing that drives me to the limit. I felt like writing, making videos, and such was a "lie" because I was no longer under the bar experiencing the feelings, and thoughts that spark my creative drive. I owe a great deal to you guys, and to Animal for the opportunity to be a part of such a family. I am finally getting back to my old self, and the feelings, and connections I have to the iron seem as if they never left. People will never fully understand the process I have gone through to get back to training, and living a normal life. As I type this I just stood up from a chair for the first time without assistance. Crazy I can squat over 500 lbs. but still struggle to stand, but I told my doctors that lifting was my heart, and that normal stuff would work itself out in time, but I needed to be able to lift again. They thought I was crazy but we proceeded.

Im doing a horrible job trying to get my point across, but in short I am an Animal Athlete. This is a sponsorship I have dreamed about since I was a kid, and when I was injured I felt guilty for even having it. I have let my requirements slide as I have wrestled with this guilt, but I could not HONESTLY contribute until I got back to myself. I could have gotten on here and posted bullshit, but to me that is a slap in the face to you all, and to Animal. Animal has stood by me even as I struggled through my own battles, and poor Felicia has worked more to keep me involved than any one person should have to. I'm SORRY!! But this is a declaration that I am back, and I am here for you guys. I would like to start a new Journey and new Question Section so I can start fresh. I owe so much to Animal, and you the community/family. Without you guys I'm not sure where I would be, but I'm proud to say that I'm here, and I'm standing stronger than ever.

[DaGOAT]

Great to hear Brandon. Much respect for your journey so far.

I'm just new here but you have been an inspiration for my getting started in powerlifting.

[WamBam]

What's up guys, and girls? I have felt the need to write this for a long time, and as you will hopefully see/understand when you read this that it has taken some time to get to this point. I mentioned this in a video a week or so back, but I am a lifter. I write, make videos, and coach because I love the sport. When I fell, injuring my knees, I lost the one thing that drives me to the limit. I felt like writing, making videos, and such was a "lie" because I was no longer under the bar experiencing the feelings, and thoughts that spark my creative drive. I owe a great deal to you guys, and to Animal for the opportunity to be a part of such a family. I am finally getting back to my old self, and the feelings, and connections I have to the iron seem as if they never left. People will never fully understand the process I have gone through to get back to training, and living a normal life. As I type this I just stood up from a chair for the first time without assistance. Crazy I can squat over 500 lbs. but still struggle to stand, but I told my doctors that lifting was my heart, and that normal stuff would work itself out in time, but I needed to be able to lift again. They thought I was crazy but we proceeded.

Im doing a horrible job trying to get my point across, but in short I am an Animal Athlete. This is a sponsorship I have dreamed about since I was a kid, and when I was injured I felt guilty for even having it. I have let my requirements slide as I have wrestled with this guilt, but I could not HONESTLY contribute until I got back to myself. I could have gotten on here and posted bullshit, but to me that is a slap in the face to you all, and to Animal. Animal has stood by me even as I struggled through my own battles, and poor Felicia has worked more to keep me involved than any one person should have to. I'm SORRY!! But this is a declaration that I am back, and I am here for you guys. I would like to start a new Journey and new Question Section so I can start fresh. I owe so much to Animal, and you the community/family. Without you guys I'm not sure where I would be, but I'm proud to say that I'm here, and I'm standing stronger than ever.

I know this might be a vague question but I've been watching your videos on youtube for a long time. In 2011 i was 213 pounds and 7 percent body fat. i was diagnosed with a liver tumor and through the process to rid myself of that i lost everything. this entire year since feb (when i was cleared) has been the longest of my life. Can i ask, in your own words and from your head sincerely, what has been the hardest part for you since picking back up again. what are your short term goals compared to where you are now and through the injury do you see this sport in a new light?

[Derek Kendall]

What's up guys, and girls? I have felt the need to write this for a long time, and as you will hopefully see/understand when you read this that it has taken some time to get to this point. I mentioned this in a video a week or so back, but I am a lifter. I write, make videos, and coach because I love the sport. When I fell, injuring my knees, I lost the one thing that drives me to the limit. I felt like writing, making videos, and such was a "lie" because I was no longer under the bar experiencing the feelings, and thoughts that spark my creative drive. I owe a great deal to you guys, and to Animal for the opportunity to be a part of such a family. I am finally getting back to my old self, and the feelings, and connections I have to the iron seem as if they never left. People will never fully understand the process I have gone through to get back to training, and living a normal life. As I type this I just stood up from a chair for the first time without assistance. Crazy I can squat over 500 lbs. but still struggle to stand, but I told my doctors that lifting was my heart, and that normal stuff would work itself out in time, but I needed to be able to lift again. They thought I was crazy but we proceeded.

Im doing a horrible job trying to get my point across, but in short I am an Animal Athlete. This is a sponsorship I have dreamed about since I was a kid, and when I was injured I felt guilty for even having it. I have let my requirements slide as I have wrestled with this guilt, but I could not HONESTLY contribute until I got back to myself. I could have gotten on here and posted bullshit, but to me that is a slap in the face to you all, and to Animal. Animal has stood by me even as I struggled through my own battles, and poor Felicia has worked more to keep me involved than any one person should have to. I'm SORRY!! But this is a declaration that I am back, and I am here for you guys. I would like to start a new Journey and new Question Section so I can start fresh. I owe so much to Animal, and you the community/family. Without you guys I'm not sure where I would be, but I'm proud to say that I'm here, and I'm standing stronger than ever.

Keep it up bro. You have made tremendous progress. You were one of the first guys that I followed in powerlifting that got me interested. I know you will be back better than ever soon enough.

[P Diesel]

Back for how long? until things get hard again?

u know how many ppl could have learned from u and ur struggles through this? but u were too sad to share the reality. no one was asking for bullshit posts or videos. i don't look up to u but thousands of mutha fuckas do and u owe them. u have to hold urself to a higher standard because uve put urself in the spotlight. i personally think is fuckin bullshit that uve been w ANIMAL for two years almost and only have 330 sum posts. uve made urself sumthin to emulate. by that token u can fail urself but u cannot fail them.

i hate how pc and nice everyone is to eachother. i would never wish an injury of that magnitude on anyone, friend or enemy. and my hat goes off to u for the road u are taking. but let these ppl who hold u in such high regard view u as a man with imperfections and flaws and not just as the athlete so elevated. at ur lowest is when u can learn the most about urself and impart the most to others.

i really dnt give a hit how this is received and most ppl will comdemn it just to suck ur dick. in reality i think u could be worth more bro

P

[Cellardweller]

The biggest inspiration for me on these boards has been Appollonian's Journey. It's not because he's smashing big weights. It's because he injured his hamstring 2 years ago and has seen about 7 docotors about it and no one, NO ONE in 2 YEARS could tell him what he did to it even with MRIs. He did not give up. Not once. Not ever. Even if he was just squatting the bar he posted it. There has been several ups and downs and he never gave up on lifting when I think most men would have. He never settled. Never compromised. He relentlessly went after it and now he's just getting back to his preinjury weights. Josh is a total badass and a warrior.

[Brandon Lilly]

Back for how long? until things get hard again?

u know how many ppl could have learned from u and ur struggles through this? but u were too sad to share the reality. no one was asking for bullshit posts or videos. i don't look up to u but thousands of mutha fuckas do and u owe them. u have to hold urself to a higher standard because uve put urself in the spotlight. i personally think is fuckin bullshit that uve been w ANIMAL for two years almost and only have 330 sum posts. uve made urself sumthin to emulate. by that token u can fail urself but u cannot fail them.

i hate how pc and nice everyone is to eachother. i would never wish an injury of that magnitude on anyone, friend or enemy. and my hat goes off to u for the road u are taking. but let these ppl who hold u in such high regard view u as a man with imperfections and flaws and not just as the athlete so elevated. at ur lowest is when u can learn the most about urself and impart the most to others.

i really dnt give a hit how this is received and most ppl will comdemn it just to suck ur dick. in reality i think u could be worth more bro

P

Much respect, and honesty from you. I have a great deal to contribute about my injury, and you are right I should have shared more, and will share more. I never got sad, or down really, I faced this head on, I just handled my contributions back to the people who support me poorly. I'm in a better place to move forward now.

[rainman]

The biggest inspiration for me on these boards has been Appollonian's Journey. It's not because he's smashing big weights. It's because he injured his hamstring 2 years ago and has seen about 7 docotors about it and no one, NO ONE in 2 YEARS could tell him what he did to it even with MRIs. He did not give up. Not once. Not ever. Even if he was just squatting the bar he posted it. There has been several ups and downs and he never gave up on lifting when I think most men would have. He never settled. Never compromised. He relentlessly went after it and now he's just getting back to his preinjury weights. Josh is a total badass and a warrior.
Agreed on this. Josh's Journey is easily the best one on this forum. Not because he's moving the most plates, but because he's tackling adversity head on and his determination is a daily inspiration.

This is also why when I read P Diesel's post I could see where he is coming from. 8 months after facing an injury where potentially you could've ended up in a wheelchair you are already squatting 100LB over my 1RM. The only numbers I really care about are my own and the numbers of a lifter thousands of miles away have little effect on me, but how you got back there? That would've been an awesome log to read.

[Jay Nera]

I'm not sure why many of us tend to refer to mountains when we contemplate our goals and struggles….but the book Touching The Void by Joe Simpson… good read… and completely relatable for you.

Happy that you are at a point where you feel 'alive' again. We've all had some crazy injuries and felt the death of a dream or a discipline…not too many have felt that death to the same degree that you have…and the fact that many people actually saw your death, your accident, …..and that they now see your recovery, your consistency and discipline…never lacking passion or drive…clinging on for your lifting life….. keep inspiring lifters Big Lilly!! People are watching…and they are happy for you.

[Appollonian]

Back for how long? until things get hard again?

u know how many ppl could have learned from u and ur struggles through this? but u were too sad to share the reality. no one was asking for bullshit posts or videos. i don't look up to u but thousands of mutha fuckas do and u owe them. u have to hold urself to a higher standard because uve put urself in the spotlight. i personally think is fuckin bullshit that uve been w ANIMAL for two years almost and only have 330 sum posts. uve made urself sumthin to emulate. by that token u can fail urself but u cannot fail them.

i hate how pc and nice everyone is to eachother. i would never wish an injury of that magnitude on anyone, friend or enemy. and my hat goes off to u for the road u are taking. but let these ppl who hold u in such high regard view u as a man with imperfections and flaws and not just as the athlete so elevated. at ur lowest is when u can learn the most about urself and impart the most to others.

i really dnt give a hit how this is received and most ppl will comdemn it just to suck ur dick. in reality i think u could be worth more bro

P

As Cellardweller details below, I've had some issues I'm working through and seeing/reading/hearing what others are doing to get through these injuries is helpful. I don't lift for other people, but the drive to push through and keep progressing is applicable in all areas of life. To read about how others are going through their own struggle can be helpful in reminding us what some people think is crazy is just part of who we are.


The biggest inspiration for me on these boards has been Appollonian's Journey. It's not because he's smashing big weights. It's because he injured his hamstring 2 years ago and has seen about 7 docotors about it and no one, NO ONE in 2 YEARS could tell him what he did to it even with MRIs. He did not give up. Not once. Not ever. Even if he was just squatting the bar he posted it. There has been several ups and downs and he never gave up on lifting when I think most men would have. He never settled. Never compromised. He relentlessly went after it and now he's just getting back to his preinjury weights. Josh is a total badass and a warrior.

Thanks for the words Mike. Your support has been incredible and appreciated. I hope we can finally meet this year, maybe the AC 2015... maybe sooner?

I'm nothing special, people out there with far worse. Fitness and lifting are part of life for me. The thought of stopping was like asking me to stop part of my life.


Agreed on this. Josh's Journey is easily the best one on this forum. Not because he's moving the most plates, but because he's tackling adversity head on and his determination is a daily inspiration.

This is also why when I read P Diesel's post I could see where he is coming from. 8 months after facing an injury where potentially you could've ended up in a wheelchair you are already squatting 100LB over my 1RM. The only numbers I really care about are my own and the numbers of a lifter thousands of miles away have little effect on me, but how you got back there? That would've been an awesome log to read.

Thank you bro, the support has meant a lot in my book. P's triumph meant a lot to me, too. Not because of the weights moved (very impressive but not my take away) but the journey and determination to get there.

[Theonidus]

It's amazing to me to see how various people respond to injuries that completely take them out of the gym. You either overcome them and come back (at least mentally) stronger.
I do respect you for coming back after the crippling knee injuries, but I feel like we could do with a lot less of the self-glorifying and magnanimous videos and posts.
I'm extremely glad that P Diesel said what he said. He clearly has a lot more experience in this realm than I do. You seem to be much more active on Instagram and other social media outlets than you've ever been on the FORVM.

[DoubleTapJak]

It's amazing to me to see how various people respond to injuries that completely take them out of the gym. You either overcome them and come back (at least mentally) stronger.
I do respect you for coming back after the crippling knee injuries, but I feel like we could do with a lot less of the self-glorifying and magnanimous videos and posts.
I'm extremely glad that P Diesel said what he said. He clearly has a lot more experience in this realm than I do. You seem to be much more active on Instagram and other social media outlets than you've ever been on the FORVM.

Whole point of the FORVM is that no one has to go through stuff, wins or losses or injuries, alone.

[Lottawheels]

Posting about some of your trials and struggles in the last few months would probably be interesting and helpful to a great handful of people. You may not have wanted to post at the time, but posting some of your hardest experiences over the course of recovery would be great for a lot of people I'm sure. Glad to have you back, excited to see how far you'll go now Brandon.

[Pale Rider]

It great to see you coming back. Been watching your video and progress it's good to see

[Spartan_32]

It is good to see you posting, over the last 5 years I have found myself on the surgery table for my left knee (two times), & now my left ankle. (Injuries that were misdiagnosed as sprains/strains not tendon damage) So I trained on them & well.. snap & pop. I'm about a week out before I can start rehab for the ankle and already find myself examining new goals. Athletes tend to judge themselves by what they can do, when that fails it leads to a lot of questions. I know over the last 5 years as I approached my goals, only to be derailed I found myself asking WTH?! The low point was attending the Mr. O Expo in a knee brace, I didn't want to be around it, I wanted to give up, to just stop!
But months later I was given the green light and was in the gym.