View Full Version : Lifting Seriously, and your Significant Other
pfabrizi1
06-13-17, 9:23 am
Hey all, while I'm sure most of you have a s.o. that lifts, or is completely supportive of you lifting, living the lifestyle that goes with it, etc... but for those that don't... How do you make the best of the situation? Or find ways to get him/her more supportive or involved? I love my Fiance and she did used to come lift in the beginning with me, but as of late I know she really wishes I would either just stop altogether or take it a little less seriously.
I mean me lifting isn't new to her, I told her from the start that this was a big part of my life and nothing could replace it. Now come competition time she's great she'll sit through a whole meet all day and feed me the day after while I sit around, but I know she hates the process of me having to meal prep, wake up early to lift, go to bed early etc.
Anyone else deal with this? I really do my best to work with her, I'll train at 5:30 am so I can go straight home to be with her after work and all, and I don't need encouragement or anything to push myself... but sometimes I just wish I had that support system at home.
My wife isn't the hugest fan of my lifting obsession - but it doesn't have anything to do with the gym itself, it always boils down to time. Being married with a full time job and 2 kids, it doesn't always go over well when I work all day then head to the gym straight after work instead of coming home...or try to head in on a day off to lift when she has a bunch of shit she'd like me to be doing around the house.
The biggest thing is finding a way to balance things - carve out time to train, but also carve out time for her too. People(and lets be real, especially women) will assume that the things you spend time on are those which are most important to you. Don't let her think that you'd rather pick a barbell up before her!
Take my points for what they're worth. My ex wife and I basically met each other in the gym. Focused our time around seeing each other there first thing after work each day (no kids), and supported each other's goals no matter what they were when it came to fitness. We wanted to both be healthy, strong, and attractive for the other.
Before her affair last fall, she had all but given up all of her fitness pursuits. There were plenty of other factors that played into her betrayal and our subsequent divorce, but I look back at that as a major red flag; us not doing the thing together that we both loved anymore.
Not saying that to scare you or say something is going on, because every single situation is different, but I would consider having some serious and open conversations about her concerns and your needs/goals in the gym. If you see it as a bonding opportunity for you two, tell her you want to find a way for you both to train together or at least be in the gym at the same time as each other.
pfabrizi1
06-14-17, 2:39 pm
My wife isn't the hugest fan of my lifting obsession - but it doesn't have anything to do with the gym itself, it always boils down to time. Being married with a full time job and 2 kids, it doesn't always go over well when I work all day then head to the gym straight after work instead of coming home...or try to head in on a day off to lift when she has a bunch of shit she'd like me to be doing around the house.
The biggest thing is finding a way to balance things - carve out time to train, but also carve out time for her too. People(and lets be real, especially women) will assume that the things you spend time on are those which are most important to you. Don't let her think that you'd rather pick a barbell up before her!
Yea I do my best to balance my time. I usually will train early in the AM before she even wakes up so that I can come straight home after work and be together. We just moved to NC two months back so its just her and I... no family no friends here.. I even stopped training on Saturdays so that I could be home in the mornings on my days off. It's probably like you said, she probably feels that training is more important than her...
Take my points for what they're worth. My ex wife and I basically met each other in the gym. Focused our time around seeing each other there first thing after work each day (no kids), and supported each other's goals no matter what they were when it came to fitness. We wanted to both be healthy, strong, and attractive for the other.
Before her affair last fall, she had all but given up all of her fitness pursuits. There were plenty of other factors that played into her betrayal and our subsequent divorce, but I look back at that as a major red flag; us not doing the thing together that we both loved anymore.
Not saying that to scare you or say something is going on, because every single situation is different, but I would consider having some serious and open conversations about her concerns and your needs/goals in the gym. If you see it as a bonding opportunity for you two, tell her you want to find a way for you both to train together or at least be in the gym at the same time as each other.
I see what your saying and I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds rough... I mean it wasn't something we always did together necessarily but when we first started dating it was something that she did at least on her own, and at least didn't give me problems about it. Besides training we are pretty much together 24/7, it is just the two of us living here. I do of course wish she would at least support me a little more, and I know if she got back into working out she might be a little more easygoing when it comes to me training as well.
Cellardweller
06-14-17, 6:38 pm
You have to make your S.O. Feel important. I have coffee every morning I'm off with her then go to the gym. Unfortunately she sees this as me putting the gym first and taking time for myself when she starts cleaning the house. I come home and do things around the house after, but that's her POV. Just don't let your S.O. Think you spend more time planing out your next training cycle than you do thinking about her/him.
Just don't let your S.O. Think you spend more time planing out your next training cycle than you do thinking about her/him.
I mean...not to say you can't...and we won't judge you if you do...but don't let her know it lol
Altered Beast
06-15-17, 11:07 am
Hey all, while I'm sure most of you have a s.o. that lifts, or is completely supportive of you lifting, living the lifestyle that goes with it, etc... but for those that don't... How do you make the best of the situation? Or find ways to get him/her more supportive or involved? I love my Fiance and she did used to come lift in the beginning with me, but as of late I know she really wishes I would either just stop altogether or take it a little less seriously.
I mean me lifting isn't new to her, I told her from the start that this was a big part of my life and nothing could replace it. Now come competition time she's great she'll sit through a whole meet all day and feed me the day after while I sit around, but I know she hates the process of me having to meal prep, wake up early to lift, go to bed early etc.
Anyone else deal with this? I really do my best to work with her, I'll train at 5:30 am so I can go straight home to be with her after work and all, and I don't need encouragement or anything to push myself... but sometimes I just wish I had that support system at home.
My wife was resistant at first; then she saw how NUTS I was when I didn't train and she basically schoo'd me to the gym. I normally get home at 6:45-6:50 in the evenings I do train and she's very happy with that. Plus during the week I train on Mon/Tues/Thurs so I come home early on Wed/Fri.
Training in the AM will drain all of your energy and you'll be less focused at work which isn't good for you or her. See when she'd like you home. Most men come home at 7:00 or later anyways, you'd just prefer to train after work and that's okay.
Hope this helps!
MRmichael.hooker
06-15-17, 11:58 am
Training in the AM will drain all of your energy and you'll be less focused at work which isn't good for you or her. See when she'd like you home. Most men come home at 7:00 or later anyways, you'd just prefer to train after work and that's okay
See, for me on days I train in the am, I feel much better at work. I'm already wide awake and energized. But, the sacrifice is I have better workouts usually later in the day or after work than I do in the mornings.
Cellardweller
06-15-17, 4:07 pm
I mean...not to say you can't...and we won't judge you if you do...but don't let her know it lol
I try to do it on a day she works and I'm off.
Time at the gym is an issue. Food is always an issue. She could get by only eating a bowl of soup a day but I'm the bad guy because I need "meat chunks" LOL.
pfabrizi1
06-15-17, 4:22 pm
My wife was resistant at first; then she saw how NUTS I was when I didn't train and she basically schoo'd me to the gym. I normally get home at 6:45-6:50 in the evenings I do train and she's very happy with that. Plus during the week I train on Mon/Tues/Thurs so I come home early on Wed/Fri.
Hope this helps!
She does acknowledge the fact that I'd probably be a nut job if I didn't have the gym, so in that regard she understands. Her words are "I wish you could just be like every other regular person that just goes to the gym to work out to be healthy and feel good." Well in my mind if I went to the gym to train and be like everyone else I'd be wasting my time!! And they know deep down they like that part about us otherwise they wouldn't stick around. Who wants to be with a regular ol' guy???
See, for me on days I train in the am, I feel much better at work. I'm already wide awake and energized. But, the sacrifice is I have better workouts usually later in the day or after work than I do in the mornings.
I do feel the same, I actually have come to prefer training early in the morning even if its not necessary it does start my day off well, and I've noticed a big difference in body comp. too for some reason.
I try to do it on a day she works and I'm off.
Time at the gym is an issue. Food is always an issue. She could get by only eating a bowl of soup a day but I'm the bad guy because I need "meat chunks" LOL.
Lol they love making things issues, that's the truth. She actually hasn't complained about the food part anymore as I've become incredibly efficient at prepping my meals. Plus I've gained some serious skills in the kitchen!
spartan300
06-15-17, 11:51 pm
Hey all, while I'm sure most of you have a s.o. that lifts, or is completely supportive of you lifting, living the lifestyle that goes with it, etc... but for those that don't... How do you make the best of the situation? Or find ways to get him/her more supportive or involved? I love my Fiance and she did used to come lift in the beginning with me, but as of late I know she really wishes I would either just stop altogether or take it a little less seriously.
I mean me lifting isn't new to her, I told her from the start that this was a big part of my life and nothing could replace it. Now come competition time she's great she'll sit through a whole meet all day and feed me the day after while I sit around, but I know she hates the process of me having to meal prep, wake up early to lift, go to bed early etc.
Anyone else deal with this? I really do my best to work with her, I'll train at 5:30 am so I can go straight home to be with her after work and all, and I don't need encouragement or anything to push myself... but sometimes I just wish I had that support system at home. Well my friend if your significant other
has issues with your training now, it most certainly isn't going to get any better. Besides anyone claiming to say they love and accept you for who you are and then turns around and attempts to stimy your efforts to pursue what makes you happy, is in a word, selfish! In all honesty I'd seriously have to question that relationship.if the roles were reversed and you expressed your displeasure or failed to support her in her endeavours you'd be considered a controlling jerk.sorry bud just my 2 cents.
pfabrizi1
06-16-17, 9:12 am
Well my friend if your significant other
has issues with your training now, it most certainly isn't going to get any better. Besides anyone claiming to say they love and accept you for who you are and then turns around and attempts to stimy your efforts to pursue what makes you happy, is in a word, selfish! In all honesty I'd seriously have to question that relationship.if the roles were reversed and you expressed your displeasure or failed to support her in her endeavours you'd be considered a controlling jerk.sorry bud just my 2 cents.
I agree, and I've said all that to her in conversations. We recently have had a serious talk about this, among other things and I think its pretty much resolved. She knows this is a part of me and it will never change. I give her the benefit of the doubt being that we're in a new situation, in a new place, no friends or family around so my time and attention is pretty much all she has right now. She starts work on Monday and I think that will be a game changer as she'll have something else to occupy her mind besides how much time I spend at the gym. I do agree though, that if someone were to give an ultimatum between the gym or them, I'd seriously question their place in my life. Not necessarily bc the gym is more important, but like you said if they are trying to stop you from pursuing what makes you happy, how much do they really care about you deep down?
It's pretty reassuring though knowing that I'm not the only one who is/was going through the same thing in one way or another
Buckfever
06-16-17, 10:01 am
My wife is very supportive of the lifting, work is the culprit there. Where I have a problem is with the meal plan. I have asked her 100 times to support me when I go on a cut and she says she will and then will bring me Hershey or Milky way bars from work, she'll buy all kinds of trigger foods, italian lemon cookies, greek pastries, homemade chocolate chip cookies, ice cream you name it, it's in the house.. If I throw the junk out she gets mad. It's really strange because she loves how I look now and lets me know all the time, there's some kind of disconnect there.
Fortunately she travels often enough so I've made her travel time as my cut time and the first thing I do is throw out all the trigger foods, and then go to the grocery store and buy fresh fruit, berries mostly and a case of fat free greek yogurt for my healthy snacks, vegetables, lean meats and I can make excellent headway during that time.
We've just come to terms on the junk and travel and we have come to an understanding for her to plan to run out of her junk food just before she travels because I'm throwing it out when she goes.
I think one could agree that I should be more disciplined and should not fall prey to those temptations. But I honestly don't understand why that schit is ever in the house. Because all I know is when it's not in the house, I don't eat it.
But I have an amazing relationship with her and it's a small thing.
I agree, and I've said all that to her in conversations. We recently have had a serious talk about this, among other things and I think its pretty much resolved. She knows this is a part of me and it will never change. I give her the benefit of the doubt being that we're in a new situation, in a new place, no friends or family around so my time and attention is pretty much all she has right now. She starts work on Monday and I think that will be a game changer as she'll have something else to occupy her mind besides how much time I spend at the gym. I do agree though, that if someone were to give an ultimatum between the gym or them, I'd seriously question their place in my life. Not necessarily bc the gym is more important, but like you said if they are trying to stop you from pursuing what makes you happy, how much do they really care about you deep down?
It's pretty reassuring though knowing that I'm not the only one who is/was going through the same thing in one way or another
Being away from anyone else she knows is probably playing into it a lot into it. If there's no one else around to talk to, hang out with, etc she's gonna be all clingy for a bit. Like you said, getting to work will not only give her something else to do, but also forge some relationships that allow her to give you a little more space.
MRmichael.hooker
06-16-17, 3:19 pm
My wife is very supportive of the lifting, work is the culprit there. Where I have a problem is with the meal plan. I have asked her 100 times to support me when I go on a cut and she says she will and then will bring me Hershey or Milky way bars from work, she'll buy all kinds of trigger foods, italian lemon cookies, greek pastries, homemade chocolate chip cookies, ice cream you name it, it's in the house.. If I throw the junk out she gets mad. It's really strange because she loves how I look now and lets me know all the time, there's some kind of disconnect there.
Fortunately she travels often enough so I've made her travel time as my cut time and the first thing I do is throw out all the trigger foods, and then go to the grocery store and buy fresh fruit, berries mostly and a case of fat free greek yogurt for my healthy snacks, vegetables, lean meats and I can make excellent headway during that time.
We've just come to terms on the junk and travel and we have come to an understanding for her to plan to run out of her junk food just before she travels because I'm throwing it out when she goes.
I think one could agree that I should be more disciplined and should not fall prey to those temptations. But I honestly don't understand why that schit is ever in the house. Because all I know is when it's not in the house, I don't eat it.
But I have an amazing relationship with her and it's a small thing.
My wife is kind of similar. We won't get shit to keep in the house, so that way if we get hungry there's only health food there. BUT, if I'm like "Man, pizza would be good" or "we should go get Tequilla's" (this really good Mexican place by the house) she'll keep talking about it until we get it. Or like "hey, want me to go get Bojangles? I'm right here" and keep talking it up before driving away or getting it...
Altered Beast
06-19-17, 10:41 am
She does acknowledge the fact that I'd probably be a nut job if I didn't have the gym, so in that regard she understands. Her words are "I wish you could just be like every other regular person that just goes to the gym to work out to be healthy and feel good." Well in my mind if I went to the gym to train and be like everyone else I'd be wasting my time!! And they know deep down they like that part about us otherwise they wouldn't stick around. Who wants to be with a regular ol' guy???
LOL!!!!!!! Oh my goodness that sounds SO familiar =)
Keep chipping away at her and she will learn to accept it and even begin supporting you. Trust me, it will take time but she will change her tune.
Altered Beast
06-19-17, 10:42 am
Well my friend if your significant other
has issues with your training now, it most certainly isn't going to get any better. Besides anyone claiming to say they love and accept you for who you are and then turns around and attempts to stimy your efforts to pursue what makes you happy, is in a word, selfish! In all honesty I'd seriously have to question that relationship.if the roles were reversed and you expressed your displeasure or failed to support her in her endeavours you'd be considered a controlling jerk.sorry bud just my 2 cents.
I agree with this very much.
ChrisTuttle
06-21-17, 5:58 pm
Hey all, while I'm sure most of you have a s.o. that lifts, or is completely supportive of you lifting, living the lifestyle that goes with it, etc... but for those that don't... How do you make the best of the situation? Or find ways to get him/her more supportive or involved? I love my Fiance and she did used to come lift in the beginning with me, but as of late I know she really wishes I would either just stop altogether or take it a little less seriously.
I mean me lifting isn't new to her, I told her from the start that this was a big part of my life and nothing could replace it. Now come competition time she's great she'll sit through a whole meet all day and feed me the day after while I sit around, but I know she hates the process of me having to meal prep, wake up early to lift, go to bed early etc.
Anyone else deal with this? I really do my best to work with her, I'll train at 5:30 am so I can go straight home to be with her after work and all, and I don't need encouragement or anything to push myself... but sometimes I just wish I had that support system at home.
In my opinion your interest is your interest. You should not need support but sure as hell should not get negativity about it unless it is making your broke. I would NOT be ok with someone trying to tell me to chill out on something I love. NO bueno! I mean if my girl liked riding horses and I would NOT be about that. I would let her do her thing but I would hope she would not want me going riding with her all the time. Not going to happen. Maybe once in a long while. Good luck with that bud. I would set some ground rules. IN no way shape or form are you giving it up. You will eventually have resentments towards her is you do.
ChrisTuttle
06-21-17, 5:59 pm
Well my friend if your significant other
has issues with your training now, it most certainly isn't going to get any better. Besides anyone claiming to say they love and accept you for who you are and then turns around and attempts to stimy your efforts to pursue what makes you happy, is in a word, selfish! In all honesty I'd seriously have to question that relationship.if the roles were reversed and you expressed your displeasure or failed to support her in her endeavours you'd be considered a controlling jerk.sorry bud just my 2 cents.
That is dead on! 100%! I was once married to someone like that. Hated bodybuilding. WE ARE NOT together now!
MRmichael.hooker
06-23-17, 11:51 am
That is dead on! 100%! I was once married to someone like that. Hated bodybuilding. WE ARE NOT together now!
My 1st marriage was the "opposites attract" thing that people always talk about. Key word, '1st marriage' lol. I have since re-married to my best friend since 8th grade. She and I don't agree on/like EVERYTHING the same, but we have a lot more of the same interests. Made my life drastically better.
Jay Nera
09-29-17, 11:05 am
That has to be difficult.
I think as long as the lines in the sand are drawn and its made clear that you need to train and stay physically fit she should be able to adjust. Obviously there are standards both sides need to adhere to. For example, if you have two kids you're not training for 3 hours a day. But it seems completely reasonable how you're doing it. Getting up super early everyday to make it happen. I can't imagine a relationship where both individuals dont have their on "thing" that they do on their own. Everyone needs an outlet. Everything cant be about the family, all the time. thats just not healthy.
Altered Beast
09-29-17, 11:24 am
That has to be difficult.
I think as long as the lines in the sand are drawn and its made clear that you need to train and stay physically fit she should be able to adjust. Obviously there are standards both sides need to adhere to. For example, if you have two kids you're not training for 3 hours a day. But it seems completely reasonable how you're doing it. Getting up super early everyday to make it happen. I can't imagine a relationship where both individuals dont have their on "thing" that they do on their own. Everyone needs an outlet. Everything cant be about the family, all the time. thats just not healthy.
Shoot! I've got two kids under 2 and I get it done in 60-75 minutes during the work week! Saturday is where I hit tons of movements and some fluff stuff. When my baby boy goes down for his 3 hour nap that is when I head out on Saturdays.
My wife wasn't used to having a man that trained at first either. I basically told her to get out and of course she changed! Gotta train the ladies hard my man. You've gotta be the male!
Right? RIGHT! =)
Jay Nera
09-29-17, 11:34 am
Shoot! I've got two kids under 2 and I get it done in 60-75 minutes during the work week! Saturday is where I hit tons of movements and some fluff stuff. When my baby boy goes down for his 3 hour nap that is when I head out on Saturdays.
My wife wasn't used to having a man that trained at first either. I basically told her to get out and of course she changed! Gotta train the ladies hard my man. You've gotta be the male!
Right? RIGHT! =)
Yes. Amen.
I guess one would really learn to step up their training economy and always do whatever is the biggest bang for the buck.
I surely wouldnt be able to lift heavy in a situation like that as I take a long time just to warm up to train heavy because lifting heavy causes so much tightness and inhibition in my body.
But I guess maybe once you have kids your priorities might shift anyway and its not about being the strongest, its about being strong and fit, and being a good father.
Altered Beast
09-29-17, 11:44 am
But I guess maybe once you have kids your priorities might shift anyway and its not about being the strongest, its about being strong and fit, and being a good father.
Yes sir! I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but you'd be SHOCKED at how you step out of yourself for your children!
My training has taken a on more Russian style and is far more simplified. There are almost no accessory movements! It's the biggest, strongest and most muscular I've ever been! A fun surprise from having kids. With the sleep deprivation I was really worried there for a bit! FURY and RageXL seem to do the trick when I need them =)
Jay Nera
09-29-17, 12:04 pm
Yes sir! I didn't think I'd be able to do it, but you'd be SHOCKED at how you step out of yourself for your children!
My training has taken a on more Russian style and is far more simplified. There are almost no accessory movements! It's the biggest, strongest and most muscular I've ever been! A fun surprise from having kids. With the sleep deprivation I was really worried there for a bit! FURY and RageXL seem to do the trick when I need them =)
Haha. I m a little worried about having a baby. I mean aside from the whole, raising a human being thing, on my own end, finding the time to do things such as train is going to be difficult.
One thing I know for sure. TGU everyday with my baby until hes 20 yrs old. By the time we're done, ill be doing turkish get ups with a 200+ plus pound oung man. haha
MRmichael.hooker
09-29-17, 1:49 pm
Haha. I m a little worried about having a baby. I mean aside from the whole, raising a human being thing, on my own end, finding the time to do things such as train is going to be difficult.
One thing I know for sure. TGU everyday with my baby until hes 20 yrs old. By the time we're done, ill be doing turkish get ups with a 200+ plus pound oung man. haha
It's definitely a change. Honestly it depends on your wife/girlfriend a great deal. A buddy of mine at the gym had a son about 1 month after we had ours, and he & I would workout at like, 3am because it was the only time (for the first month or 2). But as the kid starts getting into a routine (BIGGEST PIECE OF ADVICE!! GET THAT KID ON A SCHEDULE) my wife was really cool about it. She knows I love training and have to remain in shape for the military, so she'd cover down the house to let me go train. Then I'd watch our son so she could shower or rest or w/e. If your lady is supportive of your goals/training, it will work out.
pfabrizi1
09-29-17, 4:53 pm
It's been tough at times but she's definitely more understanding now that shes working, made some new friends in town, and we both kind of have established our lives here a lot more. Now that I'm prepping for a meet she understands that I need to get to the gym at night on heavier days so I can catch some more sleep and she's great about that. So it's nice to finally have that support at home.
Now that we've adopted a kitten though the whole sleep thing went out the window! Plus I'm working on getting her into working out again, because I firmly believe that everybody should have some kind of personal goal to work towards outside of work and home life.
Nmowery
09-29-17, 11:17 pm
I knew when you posted this originally that she'd chill after getting into her own routine. I've done long distance moves with my wife before, and know others who have as well, and females just get super clingy in those situations. I don't mean that in a bad way, but the unknown seems to bring out a need for more attention/support than usual.
I see what your saying and I'm sorry to hear that, it sounds rough... I mean it wasn't something we always did together necessarily but when we first started dating it was something that she did at least on her own, and at least didn't give me problems about it. Besides training we are pretty much together 24/7, it is just the two of us living here. I do of course wish she would at least support me a little more, and I know if she got back into working out she might be a little more easygoing when it comes to me training as well.
Have you told her this? Does she know this is bothering you? I mean, if she loves you and you guys are together all the time except for when you are in the gym, she should be ok with it and allow you that one thing that makes you happy apart from being with her. A relationship is give and take. Right? Sounds like she´s very busy taking...
Altered Beast
10-02-17, 11:19 am
Haha. I m a little worried about having a baby. I mean aside from the whole, raising a human being thing, on my own end, finding the time to do things such as train is going to be difficult.
One thing I know for sure. TGU everyday with my baby until hes 20 yrs old. By the time we're done, ill be doing turkish get ups with a 200+ plus pound oung man. haha
I was worried at first too, don't be my man! When you find the girl you're meant to be with, she makes everything much easier and better. You just have to adjust your schedule around the baby and that's it! The sleep deprivation thing surprisingly isn't as bad as I though it would be!
It's been tough at times but she's definitely more understanding now that shes working, made some new friends in town, and we both kind of have established our lives here a lot more. Now that I'm prepping for a meet she understands that I need to get to the gym at night on heavier days so I can catch some more sleep and she's great about that. So it's nice to finally have that support at home.
Now that we've adopted a kitten though the whole sleep thing went out the window! Plus I'm working on getting her into working out again, because I firmly believe that everybody should have some kind of personal goal to work towards outside of work and home life.
Very good! Gotta train the ladies! The whole NWO Globalist gender role confusion op has them thinking they're in charge. LOL!!!!!!!!!
N. Motta
10-02-17, 3:16 pm
...Very good! Gotta train the ladies! The whole NWO Globalist gender role confusion op has them thinking they're in charge. LOL!!!!!!!!!
Omg. The white male privilege in you is sickening me, I'm contacting my local feminists group. #triggered. #microaggression #nonspecificgenders
Altered Beast
10-03-17, 12:04 pm
omg. The white male privilege in you is sickening me, i'm contacting my local feminists group. #triggered. #microaggression #nonspecificgenders
r o f l m f a o !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
N. Motta
10-03-17, 3:23 pm
r o f l m f a o !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
hehehe
Jay Nera
10-29-17, 2:26 pm
[QUOTE=Altered Beast;1454751]I was worried at first too, don't be my man! When you find the girl you're meant to be with, she makes everything much easier and better. You just have to adjust your schedule around the baby and that's it! The sleep deprivation thing surprisingly isn't as bad as I though it would be!
I certainly hope so!! haha. I don't want to be a grumpy irritable human being from sleep deprivation.
Jay Nera
10-29-17, 2:30 pm
It's definitely a change. Honestly it depends on your wife/girlfriend a great deal. A buddy of mine at the gym had a son about 1 month after we had ours, and he & I would workout at like, 3am because it was the only time (for the first month or 2). But as the kid starts getting into a routine (BIGGEST PIECE OF ADVICE!! GET THAT KID ON A SCHEDULE) my wife was really cool about it. She knows I love training and have to remain in shape for the military, so she'd cover down the house to let me go train. Then I'd watch our son so she could shower or rest or w/e. If your lady is supportive of your goals/training, it will work out.
Thanks man. I deifnitely have that as a a major priority. I even wonder if the routine will intensify my own routine, make me become more efficient with my time. I certainly hope so. 24 hours is plenty of time when you think about what you can accomplish in an hour, yet at the end of every day, i always feel like there just isnt enough time in each day.
ChrisTuttle
10-30-17, 4:36 am
My 1st marriage was the "opposites attract" thing that people always talk about. Key word, '1st marriage' lol. I have since re-married to my best friend since 8th grade. She and I don't agree on/like EVERYTHING the same, but we have a lot more of the same interests. Made my life drastically better.
Right! We live and learn but as long as we learned when we are NOT 50 years old we are good! I am glad we figured it out early. Happy for you bud. I could not be more happy in my life with my current wife.
Jay Nera
11-19-17, 2:39 am
Right! We live and learn but as long as we learned when we are NOT 50 years old we are good! I am glad we figured it out early. Happy for you bud. I could not be more happy in my life with my current wife.
haha...you guys seem to have it figured out.
I curious what changes the relationship dynamic will incur with the new addition. A couple will truly see if they are a good team or not.
ChrisTuttle
11-19-17, 6:10 am
haha...you guys seem to have it figured out.
I curious what changes the relationship dynamic will incur with the new addition. A couple will truly see if they are a good team or not.
AGREE. I can say my wife and I actually get along better when shit hits the fan or something horrible happens than in general everyday life. It is like we click as a team with no BS and get the job done or deal with what is coming at us which I find odd actually. We had some deaths and some emergency's we had to deal with and it was like we were in military and rehearsed what to do everyday.
Jay Nera
02-26-18, 9:55 pm
AGREE. I can say my wife and I actually get along better when shit hits the fan or something horrible happens than in general everyday life. It is like we click as a team with no BS and get the job done or deal with what is coming at us which I find odd actually. We had some deaths and some emergency's we had to deal with and it was like we were in military and rehearsed what to do everyday.
It's weird man. I'm three weeks in and experiencing exactly what you're saying. Her and I haven't fought at all, which is surprising to me(not that we fight a lot) because i'd think that both of us would be more irritable with the lack of quality sleep and tossing of our circadian rhythms etc....But we are actually communicating well and taking care of the little man and ourselves as best we can. Now if I could just get this baby to stop blasting poop everytime i remove the diaper....
Altered Beast
02-27-18, 1:55 pm
It's weird man. I'm three weeks in and experiencing exactly what you're saying. Her and I haven't fought at all, which is surprising to me(not that we fight a lot) because i'd think that both of us would be more irritable with the lack of quality sleep and tossing of our circadian rhythms etc....But we are actually communicating well and taking care of the little man and ourselves as best we can. Now if I could just get this baby to stop blasting poop everytime i remove the diaper....
Children are a gift. They calm the soul (except when they're super fussy).
LOL! Has he pee'd on you yet while you were trying to change his diaper??
ChrisTuttle
02-28-18, 8:55 am
It's weird man. I'm three weeks in and experiencing exactly what you're saying. Her and I haven't fought at all, which is surprising to me(not that we fight a lot) because i'd think that both of us would be more irritable with the lack of quality sleep and tossing of our circadian rhythms etc....But we are actually communicating well and taking care of the little man and ourselves as best we can. Now if I could just get this baby to stop blasting poop everytime i remove the diaper....
AHHAH oh man! Blasting poop! HAHAH!
During stressful times is what really shows if you guys are good operators. Looks good far for you. My wife and I shine under severe stress or tragedy.
Jay Nera
03-28-18, 4:04 am
AHHAH oh man! Blasting poop! HAHAH!
During stressful times is what really shows if you guys are good operators. Looks good far for you. My wife and I shine under severe stress or tragedy.
The blasting poops are getting insane. All under her watch though. I have only had the one. Kids got some strength.
At this point the fatigue is so high that I think even if we wanted to fight, it would last 3 seconds.
I'm posting on here at 4 am out of sheer exhaustion and inability to sleep from it haha.
Altered Beast
03-28-18, 12:23 pm
The blasting poops are getting insane. All under her watch though. I have only had the one. Kids got some strength.
At this point the fatigue is so high that I think even if we wanted to fight, it would last 3 seconds.
I'm posting on here at 4 am out of sheer exhaustion and inability to sleep from it haha.
Welcome to fatherhood my good man! =)
Once you start adding in solid foods (they're mashed up in a solid liquid state in little tiny jars, so cute!) the explosive poops aren't nearly as frequent. Breast milk and even formula moves through their little digestive systems quick and head STRAIGHT to their little colons! Hence the explosive, liquidy poops.
*We are in the process of selling our house and finding a new one. My baby girl's crib is currently in our room and that 9 month old sleep regression phase is in FULL effect! I feel your pain my man.
ChrisTuttle
03-28-18, 8:06 pm
The blasting poops are getting insane. All under her watch though. I have only had the one. Kids got some strength.
At this point the fatigue is so high that I think even if we wanted to fight, it would last 3 seconds.
I'm posting on here at 4 am out of sheer exhaustion and inability to sleep from it haha.
AHAHAh That is like when I am in prep. I never argue. I have a battle in my head all for about 30 sec and then ignore it. Not time or energy for that crap!
Jay Nera
04-29-18, 5:48 pm
AHAHAh That is like when I am in prep. I never argue. I have a battle in my head all for about 30 sec and then ignore it. Not time or energy for that crap!
Lol. Its like my grandfather said when I asked him the secret to his lasting marriage (going on 62 years this june).
He said quite simply, " Learn to say, Yes Dear. Even if you don't mean it....say it." hahahhahahahah
Altered Beast
04-30-18, 11:33 am
Lol. Its like my grandfather said when I asked him the secret to his lasting marriage (going on 62 years this june).
He said quite simply, " Learn to say, Yes Dear. Even if you don't mean it....say it." hahahhahahahah
My wife takes a different tactic and makes me apologize when I cross the line, LOL! She knows it'll bring me back down to Earth from an ego perspective.
ChrisTuttle
04-30-18, 5:33 pm
Lol. Its like my grandfather said when I asked him the secret to his lasting marriage (going on 62 years this june).
He said quite simply, " Learn to say, Yes Dear. Even if you don't mean it....say it." hahahhahahahah
HAHHHAH shit I do that now and I have been married for a year. My old man says, "when you are young you give the shaft and when you are older you get the shaft. It is just part of life and fate of man." HAHAH
Jay Nera
05-27-18, 12:23 am
HAHHHAH shit I do that now and I have been married for a year. My old man says, "when you are young you give the shaft and when you are older you get the shaft. It is just part of life and fate of man." HAHAH
Lol.....the wisdom. The old fill the jar up with jelly beans at the beginning.....you'll never empty it....analogy.