Things only a bodybuilder will say.

[digi0]

So I'm sitting with my wife and I look at her and say:

"I've got to go make my eggs and put my straps in my bag."

You aren't going to hear this shit anywhere else. What else you guys got?

[NumeroUno]

-"Honey, did you eat yet?"
-"I just ate 6 eggs and a steak an hour and a half ago... what's for dinner?"

-Daniel

[karmazon]

"I love tuna"


Seriously, everyone I know that doesn't lift weights, hates tuna.

[Wolf Man CHG]

"I love tuna"


Seriously, everyone I know that doesn't lift weights, hates tuna.

ha, aint that the truth....my roommates just love it when i open a can and stink up the kitchen for a lil while

[Tron]

ha, aint that the truth....my roommates just love it when i open a can and stink up the kitchen for a lil while

Shit, nobody likes tuna, haha. Surprisingly though, my roommate did. He didn't quite eat it straight out of the can like me though.

[moose]

where you gonna say "keep your ass down" or "chest back" or "squeez that shit, squeez that blood in there"

[Foyer]

where else but a bodybuilding show are you gonna here guys telling other guys they look great hard

[Evaniel]

"Aw, crap. I've only had 170 grams of protein today."

[Hardcore4Life]

the first time at work i pulled out all my pills i take a day, everyones mouth dropped to the floor! Classic.

[Jester]

On the phone with the girlfriend
"Hey babe, I have to go, I need to get up at 7am tomorrow morning"
She says "Why, do you have to work or something?"
"Nah, just need to start eating" haha

Walks into a restaurant with his buddies
Waitress "Alright what would you like to eat?"
"A glass of water"
His buddies "Aren't you hungry man?"
"Nope, had tuna and white rice before I came here"

My personal favorite...
Membership fee to a gym $40
Supplements $80
The look on peoples faces when you pop open a can of Animal... speechless

[Bulldozin727]

If I ever let up during a workout the guy I rep with starts yelling at me to "Quit Fuckin GoldBrickin It". People in the gym are like WTF did he just say. The guys that own my gym are a couple of cops. They always say, There's strong and then there's Animal Strong.

[krunchykrome]

"Honey, Im gonna jump in the shower before we head out for dinner. Can you make me a shake for the road."

[NumeroUno]

"Shit... Honey!! We are gonna need more eggs!!!"

[G Diesel]

If I ever let up during a workout the guy I rep with starts yelling at me to "Quit Fuckin GoldBrickin It". People in the gym are like WTF did he just say.

That shit is classic. My pops used to call me a "goldbricker" when I'd miss school. Awesome. Peace, G

[wisconsin iron]

"Hey honey, what are you doing on saturday morning?" I don't know why? Because i wanted to know if i have time for a quick hundreds workout this morning.

she hates that one.

[BigNate]

'get deep'

[BeastofBurden]

"I'm feelin' soft and flat today, wtf"

Or just the opposite

"I'm fuckin rock hard today"

[Mr.Totality]

"anyone bring extra ammonia and chalk?" kinda sucks at a senior citizen gym, they dont seem to get it

[OMEGA]

Baby, I'm Hungry . . . ( An hour passes ) Baby, I'm Hungry Again.

HaHa

[G Diesel]

"Don't talk to me... I 'm fuckin starving." Peace, G

[BeastofBurden]

Ha, as Wrath said his girl wants to put a sign around his neck, "warning keep fed at all times!"

I never realized I'm only pleasant to be around at two times during the day.. right after I ate or if I just came home from the gym(and that's endorphins talking)

[Berserker]

"Damn Pshake mixes alway get on my junk, its a bitch to get that coco fluf outa my straps."

[Greg_G]

TRUE, I hear this at least once a week.... I work 3rd shift and watch my son whil my wife is at work...

WIFE- "Where are you going? You just woke up and I want to spend time with you before you go to work..."

ME- "I need to cook steak to eat at work tonight. Then I need to go to the gym. I will be able to spend time with you this weekend..."

[MELTDOWN]

RRRIIINNNGGGGG
wife inc " hello..."
me......." yo sugar, how ya doin?..."
wife inc "you guys killed legs again ...."
me........" yup..it's wednesday..."
wife inc " i'll be there in 20..."

[dirtydean12]

"I can't...I have to go workout."

[MELTDOWN]

sh%t, that's no shake...it only has 23g of protein............

[TYEster]

"I can't...I have to go workout."

The ultimate failsafe I love to use.

Not only is it true, but it gets me out of boring crap I don't want to do.

[BrokenShell]

"I can't...I have to go workout."

I say that all the time, my ex-gf thought I was cheating on her. In a way I was.

[BeastofBurden]

same here .. do it all the time lol but the thing is then they say , "so miss it, its only the gym!" and then my neurons in my brain fire and i get pissed so then i tell her off haha

[Toni69]

the waitress than asked...would you like fries or mashed potatoes with your steak?

uhhh...can the chef make 8 eggwhites instead please?

;)

[LuvsThePain]

how bout "hell ya, I just got done running the rack and busted out a serious set of dropset 21s".

another language to those who don't

[nihiloexnihil]

Me: I had a great workout today.
Girlfriend: Really? Why?
Me: I can't walk anymore.

[TheNaturalG]

Looking at a muscle magazine and a friend looks at it and says thats disgusting and I say "That guy has such a sick body look at how striated his glutes are"

[napalm bomb]

Teacher- "Why are you late to class"
Me - "Cuz it was squat day (with an incredulous expression on my face)"

[Jester]

People ask.. how many times a day do you eat...
Reply would be... anywhere from 6 to 7..
Their reaction.. HOLY SHIT

Another favorite...
Friends ask... Well, what do you have planned for tomorrow around 10?
Reply... Eating
Friends ask... Well what about noon
Reply... Eating
Friends reaction.. JESUS IS THAT ALL YOU FREAKING DO..
Reply... No, at around 5 I go to the gym.. haha


Girls... Jester, why dont you ever talk to me...
Reply... Cuz I usually always have food in my mouth, didnt you know its rude to talk with your mouth full of food..(not like I really care)

I have to admit though.. that one line about.. No I cant, I have to workout has been used ALL the time by me. People get so pissed when I say that but what can you do b*tch at me for my dedication.. geez

[Hatred]

"Skinnyfat."

"Curljockey"

[ironshaolin]

"I love tuna"


Seriously, everyone I know that doesn't lift weights, hates tuna.

yea, and alot of people that DO workout hate tuna but eat it everyday anyway.

[ironshaolin]

a dozen eggs? how do you eat a dozen eggs? Don't you puke? And oatmeal with it? DAAAAMMMMNNNN how are you not like 500 pounds? AND you eat again 3 hours lateR? what the hell is wrong with you?
(stop me if you've ever heard that before)

it seems most people who don't lift don't understand how we can eat so much friggin food and not be fat as a pig.

[bigbadwolfe]

Phone call from a few yrs ago:

Me ~ Hey man whats up?

BB buddy ~ Oh nothing just getting ready to go shave

Me ~ Did not think you could grow facial Hair

BB Buddy ~ Not my face my chest ,legs ,and butt

Me ~ How can you reach your ass?

BB Buddy ~ I have my mom do it for me!

Me ~ Speechless!!!!

Hahaha true story I aint laughed that hard in a long time!!!

[NZ Ironhead]

mate "Feeling great - I cant move"
reply 'yeah fucking great pump aye"

or

mate "fuck I'm pissed - I'm not sore from the workout"
reply "neither am I, see you at the gym to fix that up"

[NumeroUno]

I just want you all to know that I have a picture of Frank McGrath (Wrath) on my desktop. My mom comes in while I'm on my computer and goes...

Mom- "oh jeez, you don't wanna look like that do you?"
Me- "uhhhh"
Mom- "DO YOU?!?!?"
Me- "...Maybe"

[NZ Ironhead]

Me and some work mates are looking at some magazines and they come over. One of them looks at the picture and says with disgust "freak." I look at the same picture with admiration and say "FREAK Yeah!"

[NumeroUno]

"Oh man... check him out!"

The only time you'll hear this comment in a completely heterosexual way. :-)

-Daniel

[waugie14]

Away at school on the phone:

Mom- What did you eat for dinner?
Me- Meal 4.
Mom- oh

[ItsSteveBlack]

"Why are there only 11 eggs left in the damn fridge?"

Black

[Freakshow]

"Why are there only 11 eggs left in the damn fridge?"

Black

Haha, I say that about chicken, eggs, and tuna...

[jbear]

Listen, just put the can of tuna in the middle of the egg whites like an omelet!
your gonna half to go on top, I did arms today.
are you gonna eat that?
Honey, can you shave my back?

[NumeroUno]

Walmart at 9 after my workout...


"Are you sure you wanna buy ALL those eggs?"

[BrokenShell]

Honey, can you shave my back?

I don't know how you guys shave your backs all the time, get that shit waxed.

[abwowang]

"No... I don't want to get a beer with you guys... I need my sleep so that I have enough energy to train tomorrow."

[Obelix]

: Honey.. are you flexing in the front of the mirror AGAIN??
....... no .. Fuck.. !YES! .... and Iam proud!!

[Obelix]

Baby do you want any candy??
NOPE but I feel the urge for a steak!!

[Toni69]

Teacher- "Why are you late to class"
Me - "Cuz it was squat day (with an incredulous expression on my face)"

Classic!

[usafpimp85]

"I can't...I have to go workout."

haha now thats funny shit right there

[gottalift]

I only ate 5 times today..... I'm withering away!

[D-Bomb]

i help the farmers around the world get rid of their crops its a circle farmers/bodybuilders are brothers.

:D

see there are these little men that run around and repair your muscles because whenever you finish working out their little village feels like an earthquake passed through so they have to repair the muscles ( village ) so they need enough bricks ( carbohydrates, proteins ) to get bigger and more stable..

--to my friend explaining post workout nutrition LOL. and just having a laugh.

[Cheko]

I am going to blast my f’n <fill in muscle group here> to shreds today!

[D-Bomb]

i want people to look at me and go what the fuck what a freaking idiot, who the fuck wants to look like that?

answer: me

[coolbrez4u]

me to hot chick: what do you do for fun?
her: shop. you?
me: I like to go to the gym and work out.
her: why?
me: I like the pain
her: and you call that fun?
me: been nice talking to you (walks away)

[Benway83]

"what are you doing this weekend?"
"Cooking"
"And...?"
"Well, I'll probably hit the gym too, but the cooking pretty much takes all of my Sunday, and I have to sleep sometime."

[Knightmare]

Sweetheart, I love you, but if you ever touch my food again....

[OMEGA]

lol, i never get tired of reading this thread.

[Pokoritel]

This friend of mine just joined the gym, and he was squating not even half way down, so I yelled at him from the other side of the room, "Ass to the grass damn it".

I came home once after legs and I yelled, "Where is my frickin protein shake! I need it now" My chubby little cuz walks by drinking it sayin, "this is some good chocolate milk tastes like bananas also" That was the last day he ever had chocolate milk lol.

[D-Bomb]

This friend of mine just joined the gym, and he was squating not even half way down, so I yelled at him from the other side of the room, "Ass to the grass damn it".

I came home once after legs and I yelled, "Where is my frickin protein shake! I need it now" My chubby little cuz walks by drinking it sayin, "this is some good chocolate milk tastes like bananas also" That was the last day he ever had chocolate milk lol.

damn dude id just go sit down on the couch rub my temple for about 5 minutes then say kindly, cuz next time you drink that id like to introduce you to pain! lol...

[NumeroUno]

Sweetheart, I love you, but if you ever touch my food again....

Rofl this happened to me last night... but with a different person...

"Can I just take a bite of your steak?"

"MOM!, IF YOU TOUCH... MY GOD DAMN STEAK!!...."

[peterpyper]

me- do u ever feel nervouse when you bout to go to the gym ?everytime im bout to go i wanna throw up

partner- nervouse ?no why do feel like that

me- i dont know cause when im in there,im there for only one reason to fuk shit up,so im trying to focus cause im scared what i will do

than we both start laughing lol

classic

[TheOak_akl]

I laugh when people dont understand that i cant go out that night because I have to stay home and cook my food for the next few days, and then pack it....

[DEVILMAN40K]

me: You done with the bench?
personal trainer: Yeah let me finish my heavy set and I'll strip it.
me: Naw leave it dude, that’s my warm up.
I wasn’t trying to be a dick when I said that, but we both had a good laugh.

In middle of the night around 3 or 4 when it’s nice a peaceful in the house I wake everyone up when I turn the blender on making a shake.

“I don’t think I feel older, even if I get up earlier, take more naps, and take more pills than elderly people.” Me responding to my Uncles question if I feel old on my birthday.

[MC-Hitman]

"Can I try a piece of your chicken?"
A stare if were asked a dumb question "Your kidding right?! This isn't even close to curbing my appetite."


Spotting one of my friends @ lcollege gym who is cheating sets on flat bench infront of me (wasn't even that much weight on top of that)
"Look, the more you CHEAT infront of ME, The more your gonna have to REDO with some REAL sets"
Look of shock, distress, and looking at me if I was CRAZY

[Knightmare]

Rofl this happened to me last night... but with a different person...

"Can I just take a bite of your steak?"

"MOM!, IF YOU TOUCH... MY GOD DAMN STEAK!!...."

Lol, to quote a Friends episode

"JOEY DOESNT SHARE FOOD!!!"

[pdiesel]

"damn hes got real good definition..shit look at those arms!"

[Scans]

Call my mom...
-mom?
-yeah
-can you pick me up?
-at the gym?
-yeah
-Squat day huh?
-yeah
-ok...15 minutes...

[propstm]

my roomate: "Where'd that chicken go?"
me: "My chicken?"
roomate: "Yeah it was in a baggie pre-cooked or something"
me: "Yeah, that was mine."
roomate: "How many were in there?"
me: "5 breasts"
roomate: "You at them all!? It's only 1pm!"
me: "I'm still hungry leave me alone!"

[dIdDy]

exwife: "you are obsessed blah blah blah"
me: "I wanna divorce"

[bayareasrick]

"Not right now babes I'm on my way to the gym and I want to have a good WO, lets do it after my PWO shake or my day of from the gym."

[DEVILMAN40K]

exwife: "you are obsessed blah blah blah"
me: "I wanna divorce"

Damn! That's the best one so far.

[Thorgrym]

Sweetheart, I love you, but if you ever touch my food again....

HAHAHAHAHA, so damned true.

I used to work in a strip club and one of the girls leaned in to grab some of my chicken one night, I almost stabbed the douchebag in the hand. Then she had the nerve to get mad at me!!


Thor

[ldskenpo]

the privates always think that while they in the latrine sitting in the stalls that they can say whatever with immunity, but sometimes we stand at the door just to hear what they have to say.
pvt a- i thought you couldnt use juice in the army
pvtb- what do you mean?
pvta- look at ds armstrong
pvt b- yeah, he did have a bit of roid rage this morning, didnt he?
pvta-yeah my legs are f***ing broken
pvtb- i saw hes got some cans of animal something on his desk
pvta- i wanna go home
ds armstrong- grab your canteen and find me in 20 minutes!!!

[grunt1-1969]

I got to set my alarm to get up at 4 am to eat

Me at the Oympia show-- holy shit check that guy out

[benmatthews90]

"yeah i puked while killing legs just now, awesome feeling"

[Grim Tavis]

I find that I really don't think in terms of day names anymore. That is, it is no longer Monday, Tuesday etc.

It is Leg Day, Chest Day, Arm Day, Back Day, Delts Day, Errands Day, Sleep Day

I think we should invent a new calendar!

[OMEGA]

I find that I really don't think in terms of day names anymore. That is, it is no longer Monday, Tuesday etc.

It is Leg Day, Chest Day, Arm Day, Back Day, Delts Day, Errands Day, Sleep Day

I think we should invent a new calendar!

Hahaha, thats awesome dude. I feel the same way.

[rcrott1]

me watching the Arms dvd of Wrath, "wow........"


my mom "Jesus that is so sick"

me..." no fucking way..that is AWESOME."
mom."he is TOO big."
me"mom..you can never be TOO big in this life."

[rcrott1]

I find that I really don't think in terms of day names anymore. That is, it is no longer Monday, Tuesday etc.

It is Leg Day, Chest Day, Arm Day, Back Day, Delts Day, Errands Day, Sleep Day

I think we should invent a new calendar!

DO IT!!!! i want one. lol!!

[Skeeg]

"yea, so i think im going to start cutting"
most people think im going to cut my wrists or something!

also, everyone thinks i pop pills.. i take the least amount probably on this board with 20pills a day!

[Meat]

Mom:What the hell are you doin in there?
Me: Cookin eggs
Mom:Oh, well can you give the dog some cuz he wont shut up...
Me: Tell em hes gunna have to fight me for em!

--Get Some--

[GoldieLocks]

Backstage at any Fit/Fig/BB'ing show...

"hey can you glue my butt?"


(glue the suit onto ass)


or my fav that I tell my posing clients.....

"Tits over Toes"

[waugie14]

I usely say that when i work in with someone.
me: You done with the bench?
personal trainer: Yeah let me finish my heavy set and I'll strip it.
me: Naw leave it dude, that’s my warm up.
I wasn’t trying to be a dick when I said that, but we both had a good laugh.

In middle of the night around 3 or 4 when it’s nice a peaceful in the house I wake everyone up when I turn the blender on making a shake.

“I don’t think I feel older, even if I get up earlier, take more naps, and take more pills than elderly people.” Me responding to my Uncles question if I feel old on my birthday.

[waugie14]

Thats harder to say when you've had ur shock therapy
"Not right now babes I'm on my way to the gym and I want to have a good WO, lets do it after my PWO shake or my day of from the gym."

[Melkvik]

teacher: today its friday, that mean.. (interuped)
me: !woot! its leg day! (without thinking)
teacher: hmm, right
me: oh your right, its friday.. kremt

[HELLYEAH60]

"No thanks" For us college guys when we are offered a beer.

[MC-Hitman]

"No thanks" For us college guys when we are offered a beer.

Pissed off A LOT of people by saying that

[Arbalest]

*At McDonalds Counter*

"No! I just want the grilled chicken breast.. NO BUN, NO MAYO, NOTHING!"


Happens all time... Its like you have to draw a picture for these people.

[McKnife]

just after eating 18 oz of steak with potatoes: I'm hungry again, why don't we go to another restaurant!

my gf to me: what are we eating 2night?
me to her: chicken
my gf: but we ate that yesterday!
me: and?...

a friend of mine: dude, what's in this bucket??
me: chocolate shake why??
him: how many shakes a day?
me: 2-3 WHY???
him: you're a freak
me: I know :D

[Black-Jack]

"Shit I'm hungry. I only had 6 meals today."

[karthik]

i want people to look at me and go what the fuck what a freaking idiot, who the fuck wants to look like that?

answer: me

Oh, I wouldn't worry too much about that, believe it or not there are a lot of people who most certainly want to look like bodybuilders, unfortunately, not only do they have it in their minds that it cannot be done, they are often mislead into thinking that only massive amounts of steroids and/or growth hormone is the only way they can look like a bodybuilder.

[BigRick]

Me coming in the door from college, havenot seen parents in weeks

OPen door.
ME... hey mom
mom... roast beef is on the table.(yeah she said this before she said hi)
Me...awsome

[BrokenShell]

^^ Thats my favourite, getting home from the gym and having Sunday dinner on the table. Like tonight!!

[Bombboy]

This was today;
Boss- "Hey we're going to chow"
Me- "Sweet lets go"
a few mins pass
Boss- "What took you so long"
Me- "yesterday was leg day fucker and I almost fell over going up the stairs"

[bayareasrick]

Thats harder to say when you've had ur shock therapy

I'ts never easy to say but I know if I do right before I go to the gym my WO will be garbage. On my day off it's my favorite activity lol, believe that!!!!

[joe.ameen]

I'm walking through the mall with my friends and I crane my head to look at a couple and the following insues.

Me: Shit, look at those legs.
Buddy: Dude, she's got some really nice legs.
Me: No, that guy behind her, His calves are massive.
Buddy: dude....

I'm not gay, sometimes you just have to give a dude props.

[Jdub]

I'm walking through the mall with my friends and I crane my head to look at a couple and the following insues.

Me: Shit, look at those legs.
Buddy: Dude, she's got some really nice legs.
Me: No, that guy behind her, His calves are massive.
Buddy: dude....

I'm not gay, sometimes you just have to give a dude props.


"Look at the ass on that"

"Yeah, he must workout!"

---Dumb and Dumber


LOL, sounds gay, but isnt!


Jdub

[dbbeast]

so i'm sittin in my room eating a pb&j sandwitch and a shake...one of the dudes down tha hall comes in and starts talking. and this dudes is like 320lbs so here is the convo

my roomie: dude this kid eats (motions to me)
big dude: ok...
my roomie: no..i mean this kid eats more than you!
me.(take my headphones off) "we going to dinner soon?"

[Shadow]

I go to TGI Fridays with my girl and say to the waitress....can i get to jack daniels chicken with loaded baked patatoes please..she takes the menus and asks will that be all..my girl says..eh no that was just for him!!

[Bam Bam]

1. Yes, I eat six times a day
2. Yes, I drink a gallon of water a day
3. My dad yellin quite "sandbaggin" while im doin a set of heavy inclines

[Big Jimmer]

AT Denny's:
Waitress: Did you want toast or an english muffin?
ME: Both

AT Subway:
Clerk: Did you want chips or the cookies?
ME: Both

AT WORK:
Seth: "Hey jim tell him how many bagels you eat a day"
me: "Seven"
Steve: HOLY F*%#

My buddy: "What are you doing sunday?"
ME: cooking
Buddy: after that
ME: cooking
Buddy: what?!? what are you cooking?
ME: Well, im gunna grill 2 club packs of chicken, boil a box or 2 of pasta, boil 4 dozen eggs, measure my oatmeal out for the week, count my animal paks........

[TDog305]

Boss: You must have put on 15 lbs in the week I've been away
Me: More or less
Boss: What are you up to now?
Me: 260
Boss: Jesus
Me: Wait until I hit 280
*shakes head and walks away*

(This is was after a strict cutting phase/maintenance phase and jumping into a bulk)

[Strongarm]

My girl-'baby guess what today is!!!'

Me-[just waking up] 'chest day?'

My girl-'what the hell, its christmas!'

[LurkingBeast]

I love buying an issue of MD at the local store and when I got to check out the cashier asks me is disgust-

-"you don't want to look like that do you?"
Me-"uhh no"
-"good"
Me-"I want to be Bigger!"
-"Dear God"

The other interesting thing is when you go out to eat and order a chicken salad. But the waitress gives you a weird look when you ask her to have the chef put at least a whole chicken breast in it.

[LurkingBeast]

I'm walking through the mall with my friends and I crane my head to look at a couple and the following insues.

Me: Shit, look at those legs.
Buddy: Dude, she's got some really nice legs.
Me: No, that guy behind her, His calves are massive.
Buddy: dude....

I'm not gay, sometimes you just have to give a dude props.

It does sound gay, but I gotta admit. . . you gotta give credit where credits due.

[mjsef88]

girl i havnt seen in a while- do you work out?
me- no
girl i havnt seen in a while- well you look big
me- i bodybuild
girl i havnt seen in a while- isn't that the same thing
me- no, "working out" implies a casual thing to do, instead of a dedicated lifestlye.
girl i havnt seen in a while- *shakes head*

[karthik]

before I give this quote, I must say I miss old-school lifters so much it makes me want to cry. Their mentality, their warrior like state, and tenacity is so missing in today's era, and is matched only by a few.

This one is from Jon Paul Sigmarrson: (Great Bodybuilder, Powerlifter, and Strongman).
"There is no need to live if one cannot deadlift."

[Simps]

Leg day = pukin' day, that's a good day!

[Aengus]

Shopping List

What I see:

10lbs lean white animal protein
5lbs complex, low GI carbs
64 oz non-acidic simple carbs
20 oz unsaturated fats
24oz solid unsaturated fats

What the poor Fiance sees:

10lbs of chicken (Is he out of his damned mind?!)
5lbs of yams (I just bought this much a few days ago...what does he do, plant them?)
64 oz Blueberry-Greentea juice (fuck, this is like 6 bucks a bottle...all because he has to have the one without high-fructose-whatthefucker)
20oz Olive Oil (christ, does he bathe in it?)
24oz peanut butter (there is no way...I just bought some last week...he goes through more of this shit than an elementary school)

[Aengus]

" Honey, where do you want to go eat for date night?"

"Let's go to Joe's crab shack, I can get 2lbs of talapia for about 15$"

[Aengus]

"Hey honey, can you be sure to get some more white carbs after work"

"Rolls or bagels?"


bless her poor little heart.

[Aengus]

before I give this quote, I must say I miss old-school lifters so much it makes me want to cry. Their mentality, their warrior like state, and tenacity is so missing in today's era, and is matched only by a few.

This one is from Jon Paul Sigmarrson: (Great Bodybuilder, Powerlifter, and Strongman).
"There is no need to live if one cannot deadlift."

Wikipedia says: "In a tragic irony, he died at the age of 32 while performing this exercise in the gym. He knew he had serious heart problems in his family and was aware of this weakness."

I say it is not ironic, it is enviable.

[benihonasghost]

Me- hey babe, i was thinking about getting some new plates. we need something new in this house.

My Girlfriend- Really![all exited] can we get some new cups, napkins, and silverwear too?

Me- Oh no, not those kinda plates... some new plates for the weights in the basement =]

My Girlfriend- Oh God![throws hand up]

[nawaaz]

After a leg workout:
"Man I puked breakfast today it was so nice"

[GRORDIE]

"yeah i puked while killing legs just now, awesome feeling"

Why are you walking so funny?? Did legs yesterday and damn it feels good.

[GRORDIE]

This was today;
Boss- "Hey we're going to chow"
Me- "Sweet lets go"
a few mins pass
Boss- "What took you so long"
Me- "yesterday was leg day fucker and I almost fell over going up the stairs"

Well don't work out that hard!
Me- Well then how am I going to grow, cause your only growing in the belly

[Bam Bam]

Friend- wut u got planned for this weekend.
Me- nun jus goin to tha gym so far.

[COLE]

AT Denny's:
Waitress: Did you want toast or an english muffin?
ME: Both

AT Subway:
Clerk: Did you want chips or the cookies?
ME: Both

AT WORK:
Seth: "Hey jim tell him how many bagels you eat a day"
me: "Seven"
Steve: HOLY F*%#

My buddy: "What are you doing sunday?"
ME: cooking
Buddy: after that
ME: cooking
Buddy: what?!? what are you cooking?
ME: Well, im gunna grill 2 club packs of chicken, boil a box or 2 of pasta, boil 4 dozen eggs, measure my oatmeal out for the week, count my animal paks........


Thats good. I'm there and feel you on that one. I shop for food and cook food on Sundays and thats about it.

[moose3563]

Away at school on the phone:

Mom- What did you eat for dinner?
Me- Meal 4.
Mom- oh

No lie I just got off the phone with my mother and had this exact conversation.

[Guate Tio]

All of the posts above are so true, some of them are funny. Its good to feel part of a brother hood that not every guy can enter. later

[SBunny]

wanna go to happy hour --- no i'm going to the gym
wanna go out after that --- no i gotta go to bed early so i can get up for the gym
wanna sleep over --- no i gotta go take my protein
wanna take a nap --- no i hafta take my pills in an hour
wanna watch a movie --- sure lets watch pumping iron
wanna hang out --- yeah lets practice posing
wanna get dinner --- well i just had my first one, i can go in 3 hours
wanna go to the mall --- yeah i need to go to GNC
wanna go to the store --- yeah i just need to pick up 3 dozen eggs and some chicken



......... yep im pretty sure most people dont understand

[Achilles]

RRRIIINNNGGGGG
wife inc " hello..."
me......." yo sugar, how ya doin?..."
wife inc "you guys killed legs again ...."
me........" yup..it's wednesday..."
wife inc " i'll be there in 20..."

the fact you have a woman good enough to come pick you up because your legs are destroyed .. thats awesome

[Hollow1]

At the grocery store...You must have a big family...no.

[Greg]

Oh yea, we hit that hard today.

Damn my glutes are sore.

[Barron]

I love buying an issue of MD at the local store and when I got to check out the cashier asks me is disgust-

-"you don't want to look like that do you?"
Me-"uhh no"
-"good"
Me-"I want to be Bigger!"
-"Dear God"


I tell people that all the time "No, i wanna be bigger" or when asked "how big do you wanna get" i answer "Til i cant get any bigger"


one thing you'll only hear a bodybuilder ask: "Yo bro, i cant tell, did i get all the hair off my ass?.... Good, now help me oil up"

[Alivewhenimdead]

to proffessor-'so i can't have water in class?'
him-'thats right'
me-'okay, im droppin'

[Mr.Totality]

<showing wife a picture of Jay Cutler>
Wife: thats disgusting
Me: I know, aint it friggin great?

[Hollow1]

What's your wife getting you for your birthday?
A tub of protein!
Pardon?

[Guardian]

I buy eggs couple times a week from a nearby street kiosk, where the guy's selling nothing but eggs. The price is good and the kiosk just a few blocks from my house. This is from my second or third visit, i can't really remember.

The egg-guy: "Yes?"
Me: "Three kilograms please."
The egg-guy: "Okay.... #start putting eggs to a plastic bag#. Umm... btw, are you going to resell them?"
Me: "Err... uh..."

[ct italian 1]

Teacher: "Please stop eating your lunch in class."
Me: "This isn't my lunch, it's Meal #2. Lunch is #3."

[Barron]

Converstaion i just had last night with my girlfriend

GF: I wish you'd talk to me more and tell me how you feel.
Me: i feel hungry....and tired (yeah im a smartass sometimes)
GF: no, i just want you to talk to me more about things
Me: talk to you about what? my day isnt very complicated.
GF: well i just wanna know what goes on everyday since i dont get to see you
Me: food, class, food, gym, food, studying, food, bed. But hey, if you really want me to i can tell you all about my workout
GF: ugh, nevermind, you just dont understand

... oops

[rcrott1]

barron, i completely understand where you are coming from...


my gf is awesome...she calls me after workin out to see if i need a ride.....then i kindly remind her that my 2nd bedroom in my apartment is my gym....she has offered in the past to get me a walker after leg day..

[BeastofBurden]

Stick with that girl ! whatever u do don't lose her.

[rcrott1]

beast....i am definitely keeping her! lol


i was on the phone with my mom a few weeks ago...and she heard me scream OW...being a concerned mother that she is...she asked if everything was ok...my response. "yeah mom, yesterday was leg day"
mom: "aaah"

[Far Beyond Driven]

Not a bodybuilder per se, but my 6 year old knows what's up. Every time he eats his Meat, he mans up, tosses a front double bicep pose, and says "dad, look at my muscles!" I'm one proud mother fucker.

[speedster00]

My wife here's this all the time

" I thought you said I had enough chicken left..."

[JUGGERNAUT]

Thicker Calluses...cool

[TufffGuY]

me in class after weight training

me: zzzZZZZZZZ
teacher: Drew wake up!
teacher: You look like you just climbed a mountain
me: YA! I wish!

[shockandawe]

i just finished a can of tuna while on the shitter... honestly

[HardcoreBreed]

Mom-Did you eat all 18 of the eggs i bought this morning?
Me- Yeah, do you think you could make me some steak?

[SSGTChuck]

Not a bodybuilder per se, but my 6 year old knows what's up. Every time he eats his Meat, he mans up, tosses a front double bicep pose, and says "dad, look at my muscles!" I'm one proud mother fucker.

Mine does the same thing!! he's five and after every meal wants me to feel how big his muscles have gotten since the previous meal.Of course, he calls every meat "chicken" , so maybe I need a new protein source..

[k1usa]

My god honey...I thought you were tired...its 3am...where do you get the energy........

[si]

shit ive dropped a tablet, ive only got 11 to take now. hi my name is Simon nice to meet you WHERES THE GYM.

you are in room 324 on the third floor enjoy your stay. bollocks just put a blanket on the bench in the gym, ill be fine you do room service right?

[Mr.Totality]

Not a bodybuilder per se, but my 6 year old knows what's up. Every time he eats his Meat, he mans up, tosses a front double bicep pose, and says "dad, look at my muscles!" I'm one proud mother fucker.

my 4 year old daugher does something similar as does my 6 year old nephew. My nephew has to call me on the phone to ask if he should eat what my sister cooked for dinner, because he only wants to eat what builds muscle.

When I get back from the gym and have a shake, my daughter starts flexing with me. I love it

[Joe D'Amato]

Converstaion i just had last night with my girlfriend

GF: I wish you'd talk to me more and tell me how you feel.
Me: i feel hungry....and tired (yeah im a smartass sometimes)
GF: no, i just want you to talk to me more about things
Me: talk to you about what? my day isnt very complicated.
GF: well i just wanna know what goes on everyday since i dont get to see you
Me: food, class, food, gym, food, studying, food, bed. But hey, if you really want me to i can tell you all about my workout
GF: ugh, nevermind, you just dont understand

... oops


haha i did that same shit with my girl friend.

[twlgt]

God, may this thread _NEVER_ stop.

[Dingo06]

gf to me "stop wasting those yolks"
"damn we just bought 6lbs of chicken the other day"
her "theres more hamburger meat in the freezer!"
me "no theres not"
her "you cooked it all"
me "i had to make sure you could get a meal outa it too"

[PJC]

Is that the last 7Doz eggs - I'll have to come back next week

[Roach]

My gf:Hey baby,i wanna get u summtin,what do you want?
Me:Hmh...can u buy me a can of animal pump and pay my gym this month?
My gf:God...

[invictus1]

at the neighborhood gym:
random guy: Merry Christmas!
me: huh?

[Face1355]

joe blow: hey man what day is it?

me: chest and tri's man

[threwdaroof]

wife: where have you been for the past three hours, you are cheating on me

Me: I was at the gym you want evidence? here are three soaked shirts, touch em.

[DreamZero]

"hey man, can u scratch my ear? cant fucking reach it"
gotta love bi's day

[Knife]

Her: I'm going to the store, need anything?
Me: Wanna grab some eggs?
Her: But we got two dozen left in the fridge.
Me: Yeah, we're almost out.

And she brought back 5 dozen. I was so damn proud of her. She's finally learning.

[mitsie]

"Look at the ass on that"

"Yeah, he must workout!"

---Dumb and Dumber


LOL, sounds gay, but isnt!


Jdub

Your spotter asking you if you would like it from behind.

[Intense Red Head Man]

7 AM mom making coffee
Me - looking in the refridge like a TV
Mom - "what you doing up so early."
Me - "We only got 6 eggs?."
Mom - "yeah your food bill is more than the bill for our internet TV and electric alone."
Me - "Well...........FUCK."

[king1]

Telling someone how to sldl-
"Just stick your ass back, bend over, and squeeze"

In class on friday-
Friend-what are you doing today?
me-legs
friend-and after ?
me-eating
friend- and tonight?
me-sleeping

After leg day-
me-my ass is so sore
training partner- mine to, yesterday was a hard one

[jhicks3301]

Well for me and my girls anniversary she gets jewerly... I get supplements :)
I don't deserve her haha

[ironshaolin]

Come on, man push it push it bang it out
*screaming and groans of pain* Come on, baby take it home. Yeah, again! Again! nice, nice. (just 2 fellas doin some heavy squats.)

"You look at big buff guys in speedos all the time. This is like gay porn. Are you sure you like me?" -my girlfriend, while i'm watching Wrath pose at the end of animal chest

[stumblin54]

Come on, man push it push it bang it out
*screaming and groans of pain* Come on, baby take it home. Yeah, again! Again! nice, nice. (just 2 fellas doin some heavy squats.)

"You look at big buff guys in speedos all the time. This is like gay porn. Are you sure you like me?" -my girlfriend, while i'm watching Wrath pose at the end of animal chest

Haha good stuff bro. I get weird looks when watchin' posing videos and Pumping Iron (of all others) all the time. My buddies walk into my room and ask me what the fuck I'm doin' watching all these naked huge guys walk around on stage and sweat their asses off in the gym. I tell 'em it's a beautiful thing, and to leave my room before I put on my speedos and pose for them. Peace.

Stumblin

[U4icPain]

Me: "Fuck, I got the worst hangover this morning"
Friend: "Ah, Happy hour last night huh?"
Me: "Nope, leg day"

[Praetor]

~Law Enforcement party, Pizza all around, me with my container of pre-weighed BBQ chicken breast

Friend w/ pizza in his mouth: Can I have a piece of chicken?!?!!?

Me:FUCK NO!! GET YOUR OWN G*D DAMN CHICKEN!!!!!

~Mom:You eat more than a small family
Me:Oh that reminds me ...we need more eggs

~In the gym
Friend: I cant do it, I gotta go down

Me: Hey everyone! Look at this girly man!

(He does it)

~EX-Girlfriend: (Pulling up her skirt) You want to???

Me: Make me a steak and i'll think about it...

~Friend: I should introduce you to my trainer
...so you can give him the hardest workout of his life!!

~Little Brother: That chicken you hid in the crisper was really good!!!

Me: IF YOU EAT MY CHICKEN ONE MORE FUCKING TIME IM GANNA SOCK YOU IN THE FACE!!!

~School yearbook on "tips from the weightroom"

Me: Drink alot of water and masterbait constantly

(HA they wouldn't publish it)

[rcrott1]

laying in bed with my girlfriend..
her:what are you looking at?"
me:pics from the contest
her:normal men look at porn, and you are here looking at bodybuilders.
me:............and?

[T_N_Muscle]

WTF? HOW COME THERES ONLY 4 18-PACKS OF EGGS IN THE DAMN FRIDGE??

LOL.....
Shellie

[SparkPlug]

You wake up and look at yourself in the mirror and say to yourself...fuck, I need to work on my calves and abs. They look like shit.Then the next morning its another bodypart. Never be satisfied.

[IronLeague]

If you didn't turn green or puke......you trained legs like a BITCH.

Respect,
IronLeague

[LegDay_UKIGS]

1) Get the fuck out of Combat, you fucking stink!
2) Looking at the AOM, the I pay my dues every day, do you? picture...
-That's gross...
Me-That's fucking awesome, if that's gross, I want the "Worst wheels ever"
3) Are the kids still on WIC... they get a lot of free eggs right?
4) Those fucking pills you take smell, get them out of my office
5) We've been underway for 45 days and you're looking for a gym to go to?
6) Telling my wife who I havent seen in 8 months that "I wont be spending as much time at home when I get back"
7) After passin some good egg/protein/oats gas, "you guys smell that?"

[Diesel454]

Me: Man I feel like shit today, i threw up three times last night
friend: damn how much did you drink?
Me: It was leg day yesterday

Me and two friends on our way home school.
friend: why the hell do you have a gallon jug of water, its only an hour and a half ride?
Me: Yea and half of it will be gone by the time we get there
friend: man we're definitly gonna have to stop now,
Me: Yeah so
friend: I want to get home
Me: I don't care, plus what are you gonna do?
friend: ok stop as much as you need

Me out at a party at college
friend: hey you want a beer?
me: nope I got my shaker full of protein

Me in class
Professor, Luke you're eating that chicken now, you just finished that shake
Me: yeah, your point

Roommate: hey I ate two of your chicken breasts, i didn't think you would mind
Me. YOU DID WHAT! I only have 20 pieces left now

[kusky10]

your gonna half to go on top, I did arms today.

said that more then a few times

[brandona]

From my pregant girlfriend......"You peeing again?"

"Look honey 5 doz eggs for 8 bucks"
-B

[T_N_Muscle]

This Is The Funniest Fuckin Thread Ive Ever Read, Only Bbers Could Appreciate This Kind Of Humor, Bwhaaaaa

[brandona]

I read this thread at lunch right before i had to go to the e.r........man i was chuckling all night long...great stuff.....made the 4 hour wait much easier to take..
-B

[aznlifter]

"Dammit, they only have the 60 pack carton of eggs. Guess I'll just have to get 2 then."

[NumeroUno]

After I grab 6 cans of tuna....
"damn... that's all they got? I wonder if Fred Meyer is still open"

[bleed_alone]

Not a bodybuilder per se, but my 6 year old knows what's up. Every time he eats his Meat, he mans up, tosses a front double bicep pose, and says "dad, look at my muscles!" I'm one proud mother fucker.

That is fucking great, couldn't help but smile.


Tonight before dinner... looking at my quads in the kitchen.

Mom: "That's disgusting why are you doing that to yourself, they're too big it's not right."

Me: "Damn.. way too small... oh shit you see that vein!?!?"

[Aengus]

I limp out to the kitchen in the morning

Fiance: Are you ok honey?
Me: I feel like someone worked me over with a baseball bat..
Her: Really? Why?
Me: I love deadlifts?

I used to eat 18 eggs a day. I did this for 3 months...now I can't look at a hard-boiled egg without gagging.

Friend: What the hell is that?
Me: It's just protien and oats...calm down.
Friend: It looks like you puked in a bottle...
me (joking): No, that's on leg day...can't be getting it all over the floor...

Boss: When do you find time to fuck?
Me: What?!
Boss: All you ever do is eat and shit. When do you find the time?

[LegDay_UKIGS]

no1's posted here in almost a month... this thread needs to keep going.

[Preston]

Ha, as Wrath said his girl wants to put a sign around his neck, "warning keep fed at all times!"

I never realized I'm only pleasant to be around at two times during the day.. right after I ate or if I just came home from the gym(and that's endorphins talking)

Wow, isn't that the truth. lol

[Preston]

I limp out to the kitchen in the morning

Fiance: Are you ok honey?
Me: I feel like someone worked me over with a baseball bat..
Her: Really? Why?
Me: I love deadlifts?

I used to eat 18 eggs a day. I did this for 3 months...now I can't look at a hard-boiled egg without gagging.

Friend: What the hell is that?
Me: It's just protien and oats...calm down.
Friend: It looks like you puked in a bottle...
me (joking): No, that's on leg day...can't be getting it all over the floor...

Boss: When do you find time to fuck?
Me: What?!
Boss: All you ever do is eat and shit. When do you find the time?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......sweet boss!

[Preston]

joe blow: hey man what day is it?

me: chest and tri's man

LOL. 2 times I've said this.

[LegDay_UKIGS]

I'm glad i brought this thread back to the top. When I first read this thread I laughed so hard. I had to e-mail my wife a link to it. She thinks some of the shit I say is crazy. It's great that she knows it's not only me.

[Chin]

"Chin why are you getting out of bed its 2 AM...."
"Need to eat"

2 Hours or so Pass

"God why are you getting up now?"
"The gym opens at 6 I don't want to be late..."

[rainwave]

"Dude, you're HUGE!"
"No, I'm actually fairly small..."

[Meat]

my boy nate: yo what you eatin kid?
me: some chicken
nate:looks more like a mountain of fuckin chicken
me: true...but you don't get big off hopes and dreams son

[Upstatebuilder07]

everyday pedistrian, member, professor ect: why do you carry that gallon jug around with you? Do you have to take a drug test?

me: "this is how much water I drink a day, might as well keep it all in one place"

[BigLansford]

everyday pedistrian, member, professor ect: why do you carry that gallon jug around with you? Do you have to take a drug test?

me: "this is how much water I drink a day, might as well keep it all in one place"

It's so friggin' true. I get so much shit for carrying around a gallon.

[sgtmason]

It's so friggin' true. I get so much shit for carrying around a gallon.

yea most people don't seem to understand that one...

i always think its funny at thanksgiving...

most people: "man im gonna eat so much turkey. prob eat 2 or 3 plates worth"
me: "yea i'm on a bulk right now, i'm looking to eat about 6,000 calories"

[Rooster]

"Dude, you're HUGE!"
"No, I'm actually fairly small..."

Man this sounds like an argument I have had with my wife. LOL

[bakedkevin]

Somehow, this thread is motivational!

The vitamin cupboard has become the suppliment cupboard.
There are 3 shaker bottles always on the counter in the kitchen.
The newly expanded basement has become a gym, there's piles of weights on the floor.
There's never any eggs in the house!
My wife is pissed, but I'm pumped, whatever.

[Dead(Lift)]

Not sure if this was posted...

"He's lookin hard today." or "He's way harder than me"

These kinda things crack me up. When we play Guitar Hero we say "I just beat that song 'on hard'." We crack up laughing. The perverted minds us teenagers have these ages...

[bigbull52]

Girlfriend: We can start eating good on Monday.
Me:I'm eating for my body, not my taste buds
Girl: Fine i'll just be miserable
Me: Better miserable than fat


Got in deep shit for that one, but this seems to be an everyday argument with this shit.... Sing it brothas, Bull

[daninarmy]

Hey can you spot i need to force a few out?

[LUCEE]

" fuck....i forgot my shaker, dammit!!!"

[LUCEE]

"hey bro you got any protien i can borrow, i just ran out"

[LUCEE]

just ate lunch a couple hours ago but you have been really busy, you glance at your watch....

you: " oh shit!?!?"
co-worker: " what, what happened???"
you: " I gotta eat."

[TheBassGuy]

At work I rip open a pak and down it, who evers around always comments:

"Did you just take ALL of those at once?"

[Maharg]

Dude check out those ripped glutes!

[LUCEE]

friend: " it smells like vitamins in here"
me: " that's the animal pak baby"

[LUCEE]

At work I rip open a pak and down it, who evers around always comments:

"Did you just take ALL of those at once?"


HA...heard that one millions of times....good one

[LUCEE]

friend: "damn what you been up too??"
me: " eatin like a beast"
friend" i can tell"

[LUCEE]

Friend- wut u got planned for this weekend.
Me- nun jus goin to tha gym so far.

amen

[LUCEE]

me: " yes!"
them: "what"
me: " time for meal #4"

[DreamZero]

Using workout terms for everyday life..

supersetting a shower after shaving
forced reps on egg gagging
...

[thatguy]

Ah! its nice to see that youre not alone :)
been said but its a quite frequent question:
Girlfirend: "hey, is that a bodybuilder magazine?"
me: "yeah"
Girlfriend: "still surprised it isnt porn...."

or

girlfirend: "hey why are you up at 5am?"
me: "olympia is on! btw.... seen any tuna cans around?"

[Hoffdogg]

At work I rip open a pak and down it, who evers around always comments:

"Did you just take ALL of those at once?"

HAHA..I get this one all the time.

[Reacher34]

Me: man I'm soooo hungry! We need to go eat, NOW.
My cousin: When's the last time you ate?
Me: about little over two hours ago.

[Reacher34]

(after I squat 275lbs ass-to-the-grass for twelve slow reps with a pause at the bottom):

Skinny kid who's there to pick up girls: "is that all?"
Me: Yeah, I fucked up my knee last week so I'm goin light today.
Skinny kid: *speechless

He follows me and keeps talking....

Skinny kid who won't shut up: How'd you hurt your knee?
Me: Leg press
Skinny kid who's wasting time: How much were you doin?
Me: 1000 lbs for reps
Skinny kid: shuts up and walks away.

[Mischief]

Me - { taking jacket off, placing elbows on table..... }
Family Friend - man i wish i could do that
Me - what?
Family friend look like that man
Me - oh uhhh... thank you.....
Family Friend - damn dude you must be dedicated bro
Me - i guess?
Family Friend - {talking to his wife} babe what do you think?
Family Friend wife - i think its disgusting, i dont want you to work out! cause then youre gonna work out for like eight hours a day and ill never see you! and yuoure gonna have a bad temper and look gross! . . ..
Me - uh... i dont work out for eight hours a day?.......
Family Friend Wife - please stop, youre giving him ideas......
Me - ok...? so you'd rather him be fat with bitch tits????? .......

( End Of Conversation )


. . .. some people . . ..

[BigBlueBear]

While taking a shower the other day

Me: "Baby... I feel like cheating."

And her without missing a beat...

Wife: "Where we eatting now?"


A woman that doesn't flip out at those words - Priceless

[Ronnie Chop]

Phone Convo-
me: "Hey babe, sorry I haven't been able to talk to you as much. We just switched to 12 hour shifts and its a little harder for me to workout, make meals, talk to you on the phone, I'm really sorry..."

GF: "No, its ok. I understand, I know how committed you are. We can just talk every so often."

Daily convo at work-
Random person: "Man, your huge!"

me: "No I'm not."

[Mystique919]

*Cardio sucks, but someone's gotta do it!

*Boyfriend's mom: What do you want for dinner?
Me: Grilled Chicken n Veggies, what else!

* Do you think I like spending 2 hours at the gym....?

[DreamZero]

* Do you think I like spending 2 hours at the gym....?

I do..

[LHS Monster]

honey i kno its our aniversary ill be back after legs

[Hoffdogg]

At restaurant:

"How many ounces beef in the burger?
How many in the steak sandwich? Can I skip the fries and get more steak on the sandwich? oh and no bread....and double veggies?
No? Then how many ounces is that chicken breast in the salad? Dressing on the side"

Took me forever to order today!

Coworkers: "Oh so you are on a diet"
ME: "yeah, kind of, I want to put on another 10 pounds"

[Dipper]

I think I just peed a little

[Maharg]

I think I just peed a little

Great first post mate.

[rogan181]

the other day at lunch my firend goes "dude...its so weird not lifting everyday" since we're in football our trainer only has us lifting twice a week instead of the majority of s used to be on 5 day splits...

[Roland]

I think I just peed a little

??

[Mystique919]

yea I'm a girl and can rep more than you can...

[Stiff]

At any given day in gyms all around the world...

"Hey man, that looks so hard and vascular!"

"It gets that way when I really squeeze it, check it out."

Usually referring to a great arm pump.

[Dominantor]

"That's so i can puke, look inside" No one does

[crazy_rahul]

7.30 in the mornin..
animal-"Mom, where's my breakfast"
mom-"here it is"

There's half a cup of oats ( real 'mom' style, cooked in milk, steamin hot),
5 bananas, already peeled(mom knows u very well),
5 eggs(3 whites, 2 alongwith the yellow),
a sandwich(different kind everyday)
a glassful of milk..



and here's what the animal has to say





"REPEAT"

[brandona]

7.30 in the mornin..
animal-"Mom, where's my breakfast"
mom-"here it is"

There's half a cup of oats ( real 'mom' style, cooked in milk, steamin hot),
5 bananas, already peeled(mom knows u very well),
5 eggs(3 whites, 2 alongwith the yellow),
a sandwich(different kind everyday)
a glassful of milk..



and here's what the animal has to say





"REPEAT"

When I ask that question, I get a response something like....Who the fuck are you talking to?...HAHAHAHAAHA......but then Im 28 and dont live at home.....It's cool if your mom makes all that for you,when I did live at home it would have been her tossing a box of ceral at me....

-B

[brandona]

Here's a new one for the Powerlifters....At a meet, opens his bag and finds his wrist wraps missing, he shouts to the room...."Oh Shit I lost my convicts, any one seen a pair of convicts?" and watch the room clear...hahahaha

-B

[k1usa]

"No I dont care how it taste...just give me the product already....Im low on carbs..

[Macrobolic]

While taking a shower the other day

Me: "Baby... I feel like cheating."

And her without missing a beat...

Wife: "Where we eatting now?"


A woman that doesn't flip out at those words - Priceless

That is priceless! LOL ahahahahahaha! I love it!

[Renji007]

ME: "Man I'M hungry"

Friend "you didn't eat breakfast?"

Me "No I ate. But all I had was a bowl of oatmeal. 6 eggs, some tuna, and a bit of turkey and salmon with a protein shake"

Friend: "..........you're kidding right?"

Me: "No, but good thing I packed some turkey and ground beef"

Friend: "You're not human"

Me: "No I'm just a bodybuilder"

[BigBlueBear]

So I'm at a party this weekend and I got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in probably 1-2 years. Alright... now that that's setup...

Them - "Dude you look awesome, you've been working out hard"

Me - "Yeah... I've still got a lot of work ahead of me"

Them - "Dude... flex them muscles for me"

At this point I drop me jeans and pop a quad in the middle of about 10 or 12 people.

No one ever said I was shy!

[Macrobolic]

So I'm at a party this weekend and I got to see a lot of people I haven't seen in probably 1-2 years. Alright... now that that's setup...

Them - "Dude you look awesome, you've been working out hard"

Me - "Yeah... I've still got a lot of work ahead of me"

Them - "Dude... flex them muscles for me"

At this point I drop me jeans and pop a quad in the middle of about 10 or 12 people.

No one ever said I was shy!

LOL!!!!

All I gotta say is that you for sure ain't shy...

[daninarmy]

Before a show " So hows my Tan Look? "

[Beast4Life]

At a party...

Jake walking over while talking to Matt: Ok Nate, flex your arm for this guy
Me: Alright *hits double bi*
Matt talking to Jake: Dude his arms are massive!
Jake: Yeah, bigger than the rims on your car

[Far Beyond Driven]

"I'd like to get to the IFBB by doing well in the NPC's. Just need to take my BCAA's, creatine AKG, ZMA, and protein with MCT's. If not, there will be a SNAFU, and I'll be FUBAR.

[priority]

damn my farts dont smell bad enough, need more protein then!

[JimmyH]

Girlfriend: We can start eating good on Monday.
Me:I'm eating for my body, not my taste buds
Girl: Fine i'll just be miserable
Me: Better miserable than fat


Got in deep shit for that one, but this seems to be an everyday argument with this shit.... Sing it brothas, Bull

Haha, damn I gotta remember that one bro.

[GoldieLocks]

While taking a shower the other day

Me: "Baby... I feel like cheating."

And her without missing a beat...

Wife: "Where we eatting now?"


A woman that doesn't flip out at those words - Priceless



OMG....i've said this, but it was turned around on my MAN!
Good one! Only we we know..LOL

[REBORN1]

roommate: due i thought you said you wanted to lose weight
me: yea thats right
roommate: dude its your 4th shake of the day
me: your point?

[D-Bomb]

Baby come oil me up!!

[waugie14]

"that dudes thick as hell!!" lol only at a bodybuilding show

[Madcat]

Yesterday at lunch;
Coworker/ex spotter; Im heading home to my parents this weekend. Going to the outlet malls, gonna get some doughnuts, Goldstar chilli, probably get some from my fiance and go to the bars.
Me; Man I cant wait til 6 tonight.
Coworker/ex spotter; Why? got a date?
Me; No, its friday and today is leg day.
Coworker/ex spotter; God you are a loser.


However getting arms in early today for my second time this week since I finally do have a date lol.

Getting out of LTR's suck untill the fun begins all over again.

[Madcat]

I just read through alot of these and just thought of one that always hits home with having a truck, house, dog, and trying to workout, eatright, and buy supps.

Any of my friends would say this so;
Friends; We are going to happy hour or out this weekend, wanna come?
Me; Nah, Im too broke.
Friends; But we just got paid today.
Me; Yeah, so now I have to make my mortgage payment and truck payment.
Friends; Okay, so the what about the rest.
Me; Well, gym membership, my daily 1-2 steaks, 6-8 chicken breast tenders(not fried), and my pork chops, not to mention I need more Animal supps.
Friends; Well, if you ever wanna have fun with us let us know.
Me; I am having fun.

[WK]

no lie

girlfriend - "let's mess around baby!"
me - "i will just let me finish this oatmeal and pop a shake really quick"
girlfriend - "jesus christ will! is that all you care about??"
me - "no!.......well..."

[LegendKillerJosh]

GF - You just ate before we left
Me - We've already been driving for 20 minutes, I'm just goin through the drivethrough

[jb71603]

Baby I just ordered more Animal Pak, and M-Stak, put it on the credit card. ( Her) How many friggin times do I have to tell you etc>>> OH WELL LOL!!!!

[under7he13lood]

At Perkins:

Me: I'll have the tremendous 12, eggs over easy, sausage links, hash browns w/ out cheese. And i'll have the Country cookin scrambler, side of pancakes and a blueberry muffin.

(after all my food is gone)
........you gonna finish that?

the waitress always brings the check out after i've cleaned all the plates, they never ask me if I want dessert, wtf?

[Devoted 2 Iron]

Reading some of these really made me realize Im not the only one getting shit for being a hardcore lifter. Friends always wonder why the hell I dont go party with em every night. For me thats easy, cant go balls out the next day in the weight room after a crazy night out. Anyone know what Im talkin bout?