View Full Version : Family & The Iron Life
I was wondering, does going to the gym cause family problems for anyone else? My wife gets fed up but when she sees results she is happy... Can get kinda nerve racking, but you live on, you know?
Anyone else get family related problems due to the gym?
I use the gym to get away from family problems.
I use the gym to get away from family problems.
Im in the same boat as you bro. I go staright to the gym after work to get all the stress out thats in my job.
The only stress comes from money, naturally. Gym membership? Money. Switched to home gym? Money. Pounds and pounds of chicken, eggs, oatmeal, and even occassional steak? Money. Supps? Money. To say my wife is kinda frugal is like saying the Hindenberg was kinda warm. So we sometimes get into it over how much money I'm investing in this endeavor when we don't have a whole lot of it.
Pokoritel
01-17-07, 1:40 pm
Hey man i know what you mean, but mine is a little different. When i started training my life change forever man. I started getting bigger and wider. More stretch marks appeared day by day. My closet has supplements in them which i hide from my old man cause if he would find them he would go crazy. I have to make my shakes and take my supps early in the mornin and late night when he is sleepin. My family tells me straight to my face that I am a freek and that I am crazy. But I keep pushin, its like something i heard someone say "its the criticism that helps a Metal Warrior grow, not complenements"
thats why im single.
my ex wife bitched constantly about my spending money on supps or food for my lifestyle....that is why she isnt a part of this lifestyle...and why she is my EX wife.
Hercules
01-17-07, 1:51 pm
my ex wife bitched constantly about my spending money on supps or food for my lifestyle....that is why she isnt a part of this lifestyle...and why she is my EX wife.
Same here. I think my dedication to my healthy lifestyle was a huge factor for my divorce. My ex is a 5'4" 185lb cow now anyway. Training was my outlet - my few moments of sanity and selfishness. She bitched about it and wanted to take it away and I wouldn't allow it.
My current wife, however, is very supportive. She doesn't share the same passion I do, but she hits the gym 4 days a week.
I was wondering, does going to the gym cause family problems for anyone else? My wife gets fed up but when she sees results she is happy... Can get kinda nerve racking, but you live on, you know?
Anyone else get family related problems due to the gym?
Same here bro. Thats why I got at 5am...the wife is still asleep..hahaha.
BuffLove1
01-17-07, 2:11 pm
Yeah...tad bit ironic how girlfriends talk about how they want a muscular guy, yet when it comes time to put in the work and the money they get pissed off about it...
peterpyper
01-17-07, 2:13 pm
when i started working out i was really fat just comin out of a relationship,stop playin sports stop working out and just stop everything was a loser,so after 2 yrs i had to do something bout it and started hittin the gym.at first i didnt know i was doin made friends asked questions reading articles and puttin stuff together and hadnt stop working out since that day and never will,next relationship i have i aint gonna make the same mistakes i did in the past it literally almost ruined my life,health is wealth my brother when u feel good u look good
Hardcore4Life
01-17-07, 2:22 pm
mom was never to keen on the fact that i lift, told me i dont look right so big,, but luckly my girl supports me no matter what..
I was wondering, does going to the gym cause family problems for anyone else? My wife gets fed up but when she sees results she is happy... Can get kinda nerve racking, but you live on, you know?
Anyone else get family related problems due to the gym?
do you have kids? cause she' might be tired watching them all day and need some time for herself too. She see you taking the time for you and she's not having any. could that be it?
TheOak_akl
01-17-07, 3:55 pm
I remember the first time i brought home some creatine and protein. My parents were upset because they thought it was some sort of steroid. They threw it away as soon as i left for school the next day...What a waste of money.
To this day my dad claims that I am on steroids when he sees the Paks i take.
Apocalypse
01-17-07, 4:07 pm
I have a wife and three kids all under 5....I get up at 3 a.m. on Work days and train before work so that when I get home I am HOME. On days off I get up at 5 a.m. and do the same.....train while the family sleeps...it's the only way I can win
Young&Hungry
01-17-07, 6:42 pm
I'm 14, and my mom constantly bitches me out over the amount of food I eat, how I can't be out for longer than two hours or so without a solid meal, and how many dishes I dirty in a day. Hahahah, I can hear it now just sitting here.
PSUjosh24
01-17-07, 6:54 pm
I remember the first time i brought home some creatine and protein. My parents were upset because they thought it was some sort of steroid. They threw it away as soon as i left for school the next day...What a waste of money.
To this day my dad claims that I am on steroids when he sees the Paks i take.
Same for me. Everytime I come home with a supplement or talk about it with my friends around my dad, he says something along the lines of "is that more of that testicle shrinking shit you have there?" or "exactly how small are you balls now fellas?" My friends and I just laugh and say grapefruit size
Same for me. Everytime I come home with a supplement or talk about it with my friends around my dad, he says something along the lines of "is that more of that testicle shrinking shit you have there?" or "exactly how small are you balls now fellas?" My friends and I just laugh and say grapefruit size
It might help to sit him down in front of a computer and show him some sites with science behind 'em. Hell, just put "body building" in Wikipedia and show him some of the external links at the bottom. Explain to him the importance of things like protein, creatine, and of course the almighty multi. You may even win his support.
Bulldozin727
02-02-07, 5:46 pm
" You are such a square bro, sittin and watchin TV on a Friday night." These words from my brother as he prepares to leave for another night on the town. I can't count the number of times I have heard this from him. Flash forward to Saturday morning. I am leaving for the gym at 6 AM and here he comes stumbling into the house lookin for the toilet again. What a waste brothers. "That my friend is why I don't go out on Friday nights." Him and I have always been as different as night and day. He, the follower of the crowd, always looking to impress everyone and myself the leader, always looking to do my own thing, forge my own path. It is amazing how even those that we dearly love, those we call family can be such a negative influence on our life. My family doesn't understand why I spend so much money on food and supplements. My Ma is always trying to feed me dessert when I stop by for dinner once a week. It won't kill you she says! Yeah Ma, actually it will. My relatives can't grasp why I would want to get up at 6 AM on Christmas morning and go lift weights. They can't figure out why I was the only one not ready to pass out on the living room floor from a diabetic coma. It must of been because I didn't eat very much. Are you kidding me? I ate plenty, just plenty of good calories and not a whole load of shit. I was ready for a second meal about the time they were all settling in for their afternoon nap. They wonder why when I work two jobs that my cash flow is always on the low end. That's Easy,My job at the gym is reciprocal. I give them my time, they give me free gym time and animal supplements at cost. Considering I only put in two maybe three nights a week there, it's a fair trade. They constantly tell me to take time off because I look beat down and just gimme dirty looks when I don't heed their advice. I constantly say it's not about how I look to you but how I look and feel to myself. They are my family and I love them but sometimes you have to recognize dead weight and cut it the fuck loose. Temptation comes in many shapes and sizes. Beware the Devil comes to you as a wolf in sheep's clothing! If my family, if the world doesn't approve of my lifestyle then tough shit! I wasn't put here on earth to fulfill their destiny or anybody elses. I was put here to write my own fuckin page in history and the only way to do that is with a little help from my brothers and sisters of the Iron. Huge thanks to the members of my new family! May your bodies never grow weary! Strength and Honor Peace- BULLDOZIN
nice man. Keep fightin' the good fight. I am lucky, I have a family that supports what I do (wife doesn't like the grocery bill much, but otherwise shes cool) and a brother that has always been into the life, and who I have always looked up to. Lead by example I guess, and maybe someday just one of them will look to you too, if not, just keep following that road.
BODYBUILDER532
02-03-07, 12:02 pm
Yea definetly keep it up, thats good you are so dedicated,im fortunate my wife as aell supoorts me she pushs me to always get ouy that last rep put on that extra plate it s great..........Keep it up MAN!!!
Enforcer25
02-03-07, 3:29 pm
Keep fighting the good fight. I'm very lucky too that my family especially my wife supports me. My kids even try to imitate me at 4 and 6. I like that they see me working out and when they get older I can't wait to teach them. Like you said, we all have temptations come at us in differant forms. You know we are always here for each other to help and listen. Stay strong, Stay safe
Hey, bro. My family is the same way. i feel you. just the other day i had my father bithcing at how much weight ive gained, but he doesnt know shit about lifting and the amount of proteina nd calories yu need to absorb in the off season to show off all that hard earned work during competition or in my case football. I find it best to jsut ignore them completely, live your own life you know? Who cares what social standards are claiming, its a materialistic society, we tend to place our values on objects and wealth. Well you know what? We're breaking the norm and stepping into a new age of development and knowledge. Fuck standards, break the norm, live life the way you want to live it. Your a cause not an effect.
We bust our asses training/dieting, keeping it real, maintaining our homes, our own drama...and do we get any appreciation or encouragement at all from our loved ones? I am a bit jealous of those of you here that have wives/women that support and understand you and the demands of this lifestyle of which we chose for ourselves.
A repetitive argument between my husband and I is as follows:
All my time is devoted to training, school and holding up the family. He works, military right. I am not knocking his job at all...he has served proudly 21 years and has been overseas and on ships for most of it. I was prior military too. Since we came to the UK, his job has been busy but not physically demanding. He is tired when he comes home and wants dinner on the table at a certain time, blah, blah, blah right.
He will ask me, how was my day, my workout. I would tell him..God, I am so tired, I had a really good workout, so strong...the whole deal. He would listen, as he shoves food in his mouth and starts to shake his head with that dumb smile. So, this is how it goes:
me: "Why are you shaking your head?"
him: "I wish I had your life man..your tired?"
me: what life? yes, I am tired. You want to know what I did all day?
him: "train all day, come home and sit on your ass."
me dropping my fork, mouth wide open and glaring at him; your kidding right?
him: "c'mon Toni...just admit it, I give you a great fucking life."
me: Yes, you do...I picked up my son, left my family back home to come here with you, support you and to start a new life. I am busting my ass taking 3-5 classes per term to finish my degree, taking care of the family....
he cuts me off: "taking care of the family? how?"
Need I say more?
Bulldozin727
02-06-07, 4:07 pm
Wow, Toni, yeah that can make for a rough time I am sure. Thankfully I have my girl to lean on when times are tough and the family has left me out in the cold. Your story helps put things in perspective. We will always be misunderstood in some way or another. Sometimes you feel like you are the only one that goes through this and then I get on this forum and realize that there are plenty whose situation is the same as mine. Good Lookin out! To the rest of you guys, if your family supports you then hang on tight cuz life can get rough with out that strong network of people behind ya! Peace~ Bulldozin
Wow, Toni, yeah that can make for a rough time I am sure. Thankfully I have my girl to lean on when times are tough and the family has left me out in the cold. Your story helps put things in perspective. We will always be misunderstood in some way or another. Sometimes you feel like you are the only one that goes through this and then I get on this forum and realize that there are plenty whose situation is the same as mine. Good Lookin out! To the rest of you guys, if your family supports you then hang on tight cuz life can get rough with out that strong network of people behind ya! Peace~ Bulldozin
Yea, well..its no big deal..you get used to the bullshit remarks after a while. I just tune him out most of the time. People just don't get it and you know, that's fine. You can't expect everyone to understand our lifestyle but the ones that don't want to understand should keep their opinions to themselves if it doesn't impact them in any way. My training does not really impact his life because I learned how to keep them separate. I make my dinner, and I make his...I clean, I act the doting wife...I do my part.
What bugs him the most is that I am doing something I really enjoy and makes me feel good. He works..but he is a workaholic. He could train, but chooses not to. So, Que Sera Sera.....
We are strong, not just physically, but mentally. Mind over matter...we will stand tall, no matter what comes our way.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you can not bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain.
Kahlil Gibran
bobbyj654
02-07-07, 3:25 am
" You are such a square bro, sittin and watchin TV on a Friday night." These words from my brother as he prepares to leave for another night on the town. I can't count the number of times I have heard this from him. Flash forward to Saturday morning. I am leaving for the gym at 6 AM and here he comes stumbling into the house lookin for the toilet again. What a waste brothers. "That my friend is why I don't go out on Friday nights."
dude, being a loner fukin sucks, personally, i go crazy if i dont do something on friday night, whether it be lookin for some ass or just simply goin out to a resaraunt with family, ya know you cant just be a damn robot and just lift, eat and complain about how everyone pisses you off cuz they aint dedicated
of course thats just me, i dont know about any of you, but going out should be like a reward for all the hard work you do, i mean its not like you have to get drunk, you can get laid, its not like your whole life is gonna go to waste if you go out once or twice a week
tell me im not wrong
The_Stig
02-07-07, 10:35 am
bulldozer - i hope the whole family life thing gets better, i know for me that if and when any of my bro's say anything about my lifestyle it just makes me even more focused and determined, its also a huge compliment and seeing them eating all the crap they eat just makes me smile, especially like last nite when after eating an awesome steak dinner, they then go and ruin it with dessert, after asking me about 8 times if 'im sure i dont want any'..!!
bobbyj654 - i hear where ur coming from bro, and altho everone in this community is all under one fellowship, we do still all differ, and when it comes to the weekend nights i and possibly others on here, dont usually mind staying in and chilling out with the TV or dvd player..but i also do go out about once a week, be it into town or just to a mates house for some xbox action! but even when i do go out i still plan it around my meals, as to not make any sacrifices but just adjustments, i guess for some people though going out may be too far or, like me, sometimes find u just cant be arsed with the tw*ts in the bars and clubs!!
Bulldozin727
02-07-07, 11:35 am
I feel ya knockin fellas, here is the catch. I moved back to my hometown where pretty much any friends I had have been gone for quite a while now. The people that are my age around here, all they do is get shit faced all the time. I don't need that negative influence in my life. I found the only girl I will ever need, so as far as chasing Ass goes, that's not how I roll anymore. I keep on fighting the long distance battle. I wouldn't mind going out for a drink every now and then but in a town of 2800 people all you find at the bar is drama. You walk in and people know you have been putting in the time in the gym. You don't even have to say or do anything, there will always be some drunk bastard trying to fight ya. Usually with his group of three or four guys behind him because they know you will kick the shit out of their buddy. So you see, I am kind of stuck between a rock and a hard place. I usually just read or go to the movies. I am hopin some more guys that are in to the life show up here some day. Thanks for the feed back fellas. Peace~ Bulldozin
bigrhino
04-03-07, 8:09 pm
I have been having problems with the rest of my family about this bodybuilding lifestyle. I don't go around advertising about wanting to become a bodybuilder or an Animal, but they still give me problems. They say I'm insane. I eat too much. Too much eggs, beef, chicken. I am going to get a heart attack before I'm 40. It's not like I can tell them to "shut the fuck up" and get on with the rest of my life. They say I'm vain and superficial, while they are actually the ones who are. They say it's insane to want to be something special to be different from the rest of the world.
Do you guys ever get problems like this from family or loved ones? I know basically with everyone else, you can go on about your merry way, but this is different.
My mother told me I was obsessed w/ it one day and i replied back "Mom, obsession is a word used by the lazy to describe the dedicated"
In my opinion, if the worst thing u do w/ ur time is eat, and lift, and have a goal, then i think ur family has nothing to worry about, you could be out selling drugs or using illicit steroids to get where you want to be,
we strive for perfection within our selves, as well as outside. We're disciplined. Sacrificing every food they love in order to achieve optimum results. They'll never understand, but then again, i'm not a mother.
billmd1334
04-03-07, 8:47 pm
My family used to get on me for lifting and dieting like I do... but then they started to see the changes it was making for my body and understood that it was a positive thing... now they go out of their way to accomdate me with my lifestyle
my family is ok with it...my 3 1/2 year old loves it...my 16 year old daughter is...."your freaky dad" and my 20 year old is..."whats going on with you dad"...and my girlfriend....love it...my co workers are all getting in shape..."hooked on not being lazy" and anyone that does not see any good with what I do...I have told them..sorry...but if you dont like this...cant see a 53 year old doing this...then bite your fucken tongue and leave me alone...
its all good
My family is pretty cool.I mean my folks just leave it up 2 me wth the supps i take cuz they trust me and know i have an athletic backgroud,as they do.They just tell me not to push my heart too much or lose more fat when i'm actually bulkin.My mom even prepares my chicken breasts or rice and encourages me in eatin big and good.My girl however always bitches but not about what i take or how i eat...but about puttin gym above her or that it's all in my mind and i';m not growing or that i don't look good.In a way she hits me on the spot when i catch wings and other times she just says it 2 piss me off,but i love provin her wrong so...in a way she helps...I love goin out even if i always say no to drinks or bad food,but lately i'm doin pretty bad cuz i had a fight with ma boyz and i get pretty lonely sometimes...but in a way it's still good.And of course,i wish there was more time,more money and more sleep.
bigrhino
04-03-07, 11:59 pm
well i'm only 17 and my parents are getting on my case. they say "you're big enough" "you used to look good" "why can't you be small again"
i'm only 6-1 195. they think i will get a heart attack one day from getting too big. i try being very reasonable with them but they are going to make me go see a bunch of doctors. they even went as far as taking away my eggs, chicken, beef, and supps- pak, whey, dextrose. they were even tossing around the idea of sending me to a shrink, forget telling them i would like to compete one day or that would drive them crazy.
i dont get it. i dont even mention bodybuilding or working our when i am around them.
Don't have to worry about it too much right now...I'm deployed...I get to sneak to the gym whenever I want. My kids think it's really cool, though. As for the rest of my fam and friends...they could be a little more supportive. If they don't like it, fuck 'em anyhow...they do shit that I don't like too.
ldskenpo
04-04-07, 10:55 am
growing up i was the 5th out of 6 boys growing up on a farm, my mom never really got upset when we would eat alot, there wasnt really the supplements that there are now, she would just make sure that we ate our fill .
duirng my first marriage, i was not able to work out and other stuff, and now with my present wife, she understands that i like to workout, that it helps with my job and ambitions, even though she still gets upset about "my world revolving around the gym", she still will keep me honest about it, reminding me about meals, supps, etc. but now that i am off the trail and am no longer getting the special duty pay the supps are going to make it harder as far as money, i dont pay gym fees, i work out on post.
Yea, well..its no big deal..you get used to the bullshit remarks after a while. I just tune him out most of the time. People just don't get it and you know, that's fine. You can't expect everyone to understand our lifestyle but the ones that don't want to understand should keep their opinions to themselves if it doesn't impact them in any way. My training does not really impact his life because I learned how to keep them separate. I make my dinner, and I make his...I clean, I act the doting wife...I do my part.
What bugs him the most is that I am doing something I really enjoy and makes me feel good. He works..but he is a workaholic. He could train, but chooses not to. So, Que Sera Sera.....
We are strong, not just physically, but mentally. Mind over matter...we will stand tall, no matter what comes our way.
“Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind.”
Many of us spend our whole lives running from feeling with the mistaken belief that you can not bear the pain. But you have already borne the pain. What you have not done is feel all you are beyond that pain.
Kahlil Gibran
Thats quite rough Toni. I would at least expect those close to me to understand my lifestyle and support my goals and dreams.
I started getting into lifting when I was around 16. My mom and dad both agreed I needed to put on some weight but they seemed to think that all I needed to do was take a weight gainer and sit on my ass. Haha, that's all I trained with back then, a tub of weight gain powder, and a helluva lot of eggs. According to my father, I was supposed to have stroked out a year ago. I am thankful that now my family supports me even though they probably will never understand why I'm so anal about it.
My girl on the other hand. First she's the one that wants me to put on more muscle(she said it straight out, not my insecurity talking to me). Then when I start to rededicate myself and start putting the work in, she starts to give me grief. What's the deal right? Some women seem to feel threatened by anything that holds our interest and attention other than them. Has anybody noticed this? Anyway, that's not the point and no disrespect to our sisters here, I said SOME.
I started getting into lifting when I was around 16. My mom and dad both agreed I needed to put on some weight but they seemed to think that all I needed to do was take a weight gainer and sit on my ass. Haha, that's all I trained with back then, a tub of weight gain powder, and a helluva lot of eggs. According to my father, I was supposed to have stroked out a year ago. I am thankful that now my family supports me even though they probably will never understand why I'm so anal about it.
My girl on the other hand. First she's the one that wants me to put on more muscle(she said it straight out, not my insecurity talking to me). Then when I start to rededicate myself and start putting the work in, she starts to give me grief. What's the deal right? Some women seem to feel threatened by anything that holds our interest and attention other than them. Has anybody noticed this? Anyway, that's not the point and no disrespect to our sisters here, I said SOME.
Yeah man. I know what you mean. But i guess its not just women. People in general are self-centre and selfish.
People who do not support me in what I do can go fuck themselves. I dont what to know them nor do I need them. I choose to surround myself with people who are positive influences (like all the bros and sistas here on the Forum), influences that will help me achieve my goals. And in turn I try to support and help them in all there doings.
Extreme
04-04-07, 12:47 pm
Just had the chance to read this thread and I, as many of you, am in a relationship where my better half doesn't grasp the concept of why I do what I do in the gym. I always get to hear how I never spend enough family time with my wife and son, but I don't view it like that. I work 8 hours and I'm at the gym for 2 hours (on nights I incorporate cardio at the end of my workout). I then come home and from 6 until bedtime I am with my family. And that only happens 3 nights a week, the other 4 I am with them immediately after work. I really dont know how my wife gets off telling me I dont spend enough time with her and my son. Some people will just never get it. Good post, it feels good to vent with something like this sometimes.
Scope it. My ex used to give me shit for going to the gym so much but she always liked the results. Typical BS, right? My current GF/fiance lets me go to the gym without any BS. She will ocassionaly ask me to pass it up for time with her but only on rare ocassions. She knew up front that this is my lifestyle and I wouldn't be happy without it. And I can still find time to hit the iron without cutting into the family life that much. It is possible...how bad do you want it? She even knows that I juice and doesn't give me any shit about that either. She tells me to be careful and all but knows that I am after something great...excellence...and she is down with it. A rare catch I'll admit but they're out there. Later.
bigrhino
04-04-07, 7:10 pm
thanks a lot guys. some people just don't get what we do. i guess after i get my bloodwork done and it checks out, they should have nothing to fuss about.
BamBam92
06-09-07, 11:36 pm
No, sadly, not the show...but the basis of a lot of my problems.
It seems no matter what I do in the gym, and sometimes anything else in my life (school, work, family stuff...etc)...my mom, dad, sis, aunt, uncle- whoever...it doesnt seem good enough. I mean, shit, I dont NEED praise, and from a lot of ppl, I dont want it...but from my family, I want to feel like they want to see why I am a bodybuilder, why I love it, to get them to do it, and what meaning it has in my life. Example..when I came home from the gym last tuesday after my back workout...I was so happy that I had another great workout and went up in weight by alot and told my mom about all of it...I told her I went up from 405 x 3 a week earlier on deadlift, to 405 x 10 on deadlift this week and it was my last set, second workout...all this other stuff about how I felt good, I was seeing results, blah blah blah...all the go odstuff that could come from hardwork basically- and all she said was "uh hum..", "really...ok"...shit like that. SO, I just went in and took my PWO shake and was sitting at the kitchen table and she says "All you care about is the weight room and those..shakes.......Why do you want to pursue that in your life..? You know only a select few make good money...I dont think your girlfriend would want to marry someoe who couldnt support her..!!?"
Needless to say...I was very upset and very pissed at the same time...
I dont know what to say or do...All of my family thinks I am on steroids because I have lost so much weight (see the pics in my journey to see how much)...and of course because I have gotten so much bigger and stronger. Of course I AM NOT on the "sauce"...and also...my mom doesnt understand why I diet and how come I cant just eat the things she deems "ok" for me or what betty crocker or some cook book or show says is ok for me....and gets mad that I cook my own meals when she tries to make pizza or hot dogs for dinner (bad food)....but this shit gets me down...alot...I dont wanna sound like a bitch...but these arent strangers or my buddies putting me down...but my family?!
Just kinda wondering what to do and if anyone else has this problem
TufffGuY
06-10-07, 12:15 am
Bro, I hear ya, my parents have been noticeing lately that I am gaining weight( Im bulking). They don't understand why I want to get bigger. there like "drew, since your not playin basketball, why do you want to get bigger, if you keep eating liek that, your gonna get more bigger" and Im like "Mom, isn;t that the point!". Don't even listen to them bring you down man, your doing this for yourself, if they really love you then they will aceppt you.
No, sadly, not the show...but the basis of a lot of my problems.
It seems no matter what I do in the gym, and sometimes anything else in my life (school, work, family stuff...etc)...my mom, dad, sis, aunt, uncle- whoever...it doesnt seem good enough. I mean, shit, I dont NEED praise, and from a lot of ppl, I dont want it...but from my family, I want to feel like they want to see why I am a bodybuilder, why I love it, to get them to do it, and what meaning it has in my life. Example..when I came home from the gym last tuesday after my back workout...I was so happy that I had another great workout and went up in weight by alot and told my mom about all of it...I told her I went up from 405 x 3 a week earlier on deadlift, to 405 x 10 on deadlift this week and it was my last set, second workout...all this other stuff about how I felt good, I was seeing results, blah blah blah...all the go odstuff that could come from hardwork basically- and all she said was "uh hum..", "really...ok"...shit like that. SO, I just went in and took my PWO shake and was sitting at the kitchen table and she says "All you care about is the weight room and those..shakes.......Why do you want to pursue that in your life..? You know only a select few make good money...I dont think your girlfriend would want to marry someoe who couldnt support her..!!?"
Needless to say...I was very upset and very pissed at the same time...
I dont know what to say or do...All of my family thinks I am on steroids because I have lost so much weight (see the pics in my journey to see how much)...and of course because I have gotten so much bigger and stronger. Of course I AM NOT on the "sauce"...and also...my mom doesnt understand why I diet and how come I cant just eat the things she deems "ok" for me or what betty crocker or some cook book or show says is ok for me....and gets mad that I cook my own meals when she tries to make pizza or hot dogs for dinner (bad food)....but this shit gets me down...alot...I dont wanna sound like a bitch...but these arent strangers or my buddies putting me down...but my family?!
Just kinda wondering what to do and if anyone else has this problem
I know exactly where your coming from brotha. When i started bodybuilding 4 years ago my parents just thought i was lifting weights to lift and nothin else, but when i told them that i wanted to bodybuild i got no response from them at all. Now that im 19, ive put on some serious size and started to compete in the NPC level, but my parents just dont seem to want anything to do with it. There is a strong resentment from my dad because he hates that i shave my body and tan and all that crap, but you know its part of the game. I think that the best way to get a response out of them is to bring them to a show your competing in or bring them to another show just to watch. Mainly man if bodybuilding is your life (i know mine is, im home on a saturday night resting) do it for yourself, although it is extremely great to have your family back you up, your in the game to prove to yourself what you can accomplish and how far you can take your body. And dont worry about the juicing questions, thats all ignorance and jealousy.
Fury317
06-10-07, 12:30 am
Im sorry to hear about your story brother. Thankfully I have a family that supports me in my bodybuilding. Shit they love to tell their friends and my aunts and uncles about all the shit i do and especially what i eat. Maybe try sitting down with your mom and explaining how serious you are with this sport and ask her why she cant see it as you playing any other "normal" sport like football or basketball and support you in it just the same. If none of this works then ya i guess you do have to do what you do wiht strangers and friends who do the same thing- tell em to fuck off. And that sucks because they are family and they love you but if they dont understand then they dotn understand. Good luck with everything man. Remember- you always got another family right here ready and waiting to hear all about your improvments in the gym. If you need anything feel free to PM me. Peace man.
rev8ball
06-10-07, 12:34 am
From a family stand point, I've been lucky. My mom was awesome: I am the youngest of six, so by the time I got into powerlifting in my teens, she had already put up with several years of my brother needing specific diets (he was an NPC bodybuilder). Every morning, no matter what she was making the rest of us, she made him his steak and eggs, packed appropriate lunches, snacks, etc. So, for me, my mom never had any problem with my special requests for diet (if anything, it was easier...lol). In regards to the rest of my siblings, my one sister got in to bodybuilding as a hobby, and my other sister still, at the age of 44, still has the smokin' physique of a 25 year-old thanks to lifting. And half of my nieces are really in to figure and fitness comps. Even now, they all support my line of work and the path that I have chosen because they see how it benefits everyone who gets involved.
Mizzarler
06-10-07, 12:41 am
I have the exact same problem bro, literally. Word for word. I just turned 19 and still living with my mom and everytime I give her an update she asks me why I'm doing this. Why do you eat 7 times a day? Why are you at the gym 5 times a week? What are you going to do in life? I never have an answer
bigrhino
06-10-07, 12:42 am
No, sadly, not the show...but the basis of a lot of my problems.
It seems no matter what I do in the gym, and sometimes anything else in my life (school, work, family stuff...etc)...my mom, dad, sis, aunt, uncle- whoever...it doesnt seem good enough. I mean, shit, I dont NEED praise, and from a lot of ppl, I dont want it...but from my family, I want to feel like they want to see why I am a bodybuilder, why I love it, to get them to do it, and what meaning it has in my life. Example..when I came home from the gym last tuesday after my back workout...I was so happy that I had another great workout and went up in weight by alot and told my mom about all of it...I told her I went up from 405 x 3 a week earlier on deadlift, to 405 x 10 on deadlift this week and it was my last set, second workout...all this other stuff about how I felt good, I was seeing results, blah blah blah...all the go odstuff that could come from hardwork basically- and all she said was "uh hum..", "really...ok"...shit like that. SO, I just went in and took my PWO shake and was sitting at the kitchen table and she says "All you care about is the weight room and those..shakes.......Why do you want to pursue that in your life..? You know only a select few make good money...I dont think your girlfriend would want to marry someoe who couldnt support her..!!?"
Needless to say...I was very upset and very pissed at the same time...
I dont know what to say or do...All of my family thinks I am on steroids because I have lost so much weight (see the pics in my journey to see how much)...and of course because I have gotten so much bigger and stronger. Of course I AM NOT on the "sauce"...and also...my mom doesnt understand why I diet and how come I cant just eat the things she deems "ok" for me or what betty crocker or some cook book or show says is ok for me....and gets mad that I cook my own meals when she tries to make pizza or hot dogs for dinner (bad food)....but this shit gets me down...alot...I dont wanna sound like a bitch...but these arent strangers or my buddies putting me down...but my family?!
Just kinda wondering what to do and if anyone else has this problem
i know exactly what that is like. i am 18 and a few months ago, me and my parents were bumping heads. my mom actually took away my supplemnts. the only way i managed to get them back was b/c we moved and i got to the stash before them.
they just don't get it. some simple rules
1- don't talk about your workouts
2- .... diet
3- .... Animalpak.com/ forvm
they don't get why someone wants to be big or strong. the more i tried to convince them, the worse it got. it kind of went away eventually. now i got all my supplements hidden away and buy my own food.
i have been there not too long ago. i feel you.
Hey we aint direct family but everyone here in the forvm will back you man.
I like Rev8, Come from a bodybuilding family, My dad graduated high school at 135 and now weighs 230lbs at 10% bf, My cousin is a NPC competior before his kid was born, and alot of my cousins are into weights for either sports or fun.
BamBam92
06-10-07, 12:34 pm
I gotta thank you guys for helping me out...I see a few of us have had similiar problems and I too am here for you. I realied last night at about 4 am that this is my life, not theres. I have made my decision about who I am going to be and how I am going to do it and there are 2 decisons they can make...
1.) Love me and support me and maybe learn a thing or 2
2.) Go to hell...
As I said, I am 20 yrs old, and ready to move out on my own, maybe with my girl someday soon...but I know this is where my heart is, where my soul and mind have become stronger as well as the muscle...and time and money have been spent. This forum, my gym, the magazines full of inspiration and tips, the kitchen stove where I eat the same shit day in and day out...thats my home. You all are my family and I will never forget that and hope that it will soon grow larger for ALL of us. I still will fight the good fight and try to win them over...I have decided to do a powerlifting meet in Aug. so we will see how they respond.
Thanks again for the help but any more would be greatly appreciated...and if anyone else has this problem or whatever, you know as I do now...you can talk to this family!
Love and Respect,
Bam-
18-Delta
06-10-07, 2:36 pm
I understand your frustration.
I am, by no means, telling you what to. You are your own man and make your own decisions; I respect that. But, maybe you should take a deep breath and step into you mom's shoes just for a minute. If you can do that I guarantee that her concern is not about bodybuilding in and of itself. She is obviously aware that only a select few make any decent money in the sport. Maybe her fear is that she just doesn't want to possibly see you living paycheck to paycheck when you get older. Maybe she is concerned that you might take up the juice some day and it harms you in some way. Parents aren't always devious. Maybe she does care greatly about you and what you are doing, just in a way you're not aware of.
Someday, if you decide to have children, some parts of this world will open up your mind's eye in a manner you have never considered.
Don't be too hard on your family man.....sometimes they are the only thing you have in this crazy world.
In the meantime, keep hammering away at the iron.
Just some food for thought..........
Let me ask you a question...
Do you know what your parents hobbies are?
When's the last time you talked to your mom about sewing, and really listened? And Dad about fishing? For example. They are your parents, and they love you I am sure. But they have their own lives and their own hobbies, and their own way of thinking the way life should be lived And personally, If I wanted a cheerleading squad, I would get something a hell of a lot better looking than my Mom and Dad. I hate to let you in on this Bro, but it doesn't get any easier. When you get out on your own there are 10 times more people and priorities trying to hold you down and suck you dry.
As for you Mom telling you how to live your life. Brother it is your own life. My advice to you is to listen more than you talk; and blaze your own trail. You get but one chance to make your mark in this life. And it's YOURS. Living for someone else is not living.
So Suck It Up. Be your own man. You can honor your mother and father, and still walk your own path. The ONLY person you have something to prove to, is the man staring back at you in the mirror. And everytime someone tries to cut you down, or hold you back; relish those battle scars. For Resistance builds Strength, Conflict builds Character, and Character begets Honor.
I thought the Gym would have taught you that by now.
BamBam92
06-10-07, 4:25 pm
Let me ask you a question...
Do you know what your parents hobbies are?
When's the last time you talked to your mom about sewing, and really listened? And Dad about fishing? For example. They are your parents, and they love you I am sure. But they have their own lives and their own hobbies, and their own way of thinking the way life should be lived And personally, If I wanted a cheerleading squad, I would get something a hell of a lot better looking than my Mom and Dad. I hate to let you in on this Bro, but it doesn't get any easier. When you get out on your own there are 10 times more people and priorities trying to hold you down and suck you dry.
As for you Mom telling you how to live your life. Brother it is your own life. My advice to you is to listen more than you talk; and blaze your own trail. You get but one chance to make your mark in this life. And it's YOURS. Living for someone else is not living.
So Suck It Up. Be your own man. You can honor your mother and father, and still walk your own path. The ONLY person you have something to prove to, is the man staring back at you in the mirror. And everytime someone tries to cut you down, or hold you back; relish those battle scars. For Resistance builds Strength, Conflict builds Character, and Character begets Honor.
I thought the Gym would have taught you that by now.
Listen here bro...I know my families hobbies...
My mom- Loves sodoku and loves to draw. She is a stay at home mom who loves to play with her kids (my baby bro and sis), swim, lay out, and cook. Yes, she loves to cook because she is trying to m aybe one day open up a small resteraunt.
My Dad- Loves to fish...loves it as much as I love the iron...and I fish right along side him...I gauran damn tee I can outfish any one in this forum or the next...hell i love 10 mins from one of the largest lakes in KY and about 5 from the Ohio River. He also loves to hunt, ride 4 wheelers, and sometimes yes, even lift weights- and I too hunt and ride 4 wheelers too...again...I am form KY.
I could go on and on but you get the point...I know my family and you dont...and for that...you dont know me...Nor will you ever. You speak as if i havent covered all these bases, or tried to talk to my mo and dad every day and get the in the weight room, maybe not for Bodybuilding or powerlifting, but to just see why I love it and help them benefit from it too. Again, you dont know me nor my family. I also, dont know why you think I need a cheering team, because my beautiful girlfriend, best friend, and trainers cheer me on and thats all I need and have ran on for the past 8 yrs since my papaw passed away. Now he was a cheering section, and the coach.
I agre with you Delta...and I have talked to my mom about how yes, I want this to be a career and hobby, but I have things to fall back on and i told her that I want to open my own gym and my own restaraunt...hence why I am going to college. Still though, my fam. dont understand for some reason...yeah maybe the juice goes into it but shit, I dont plan on using it and they cant trust that (although I admit i dont know what the future holds for me).
As for blazing my own trail...well, thats my Journey, and nobody elses...and trust me, it is one hell of a ride thus far.
Anywho, again...you dont know me. Also, dont talk to me about honor, respect, strength, courage, character, blah blah blah...I have those things and pride myself by using those things and being that way with everyone I come in contact with because I do bodybuilding for the fact that yes, it makes me a better person, but somehow, everyday, it makes someone else a better person too. So dont talk about that to me...You earn what you talk so highly about by acting that way and treating others that way...not by lifting weights.
I thought LIFE would have taught you that by now...
18-Delta
06-10-07, 4:31 pm
A.)
I agre with you Delta...and I have talked to my mom about how yes, I want this to be a career and hobby, but I have things to fall back on and i told her that I want to open my own gym and my own restaraunt...hence why I am going to college. Still though, my fam. dont understand for some reason...
Sounds like you got it together man. I wish the best for you and your family.
Drive On.
BamBam92
06-10-07, 4:33 pm
Sounds like you got it together man. I wish the best for you and your family.
Drive On.
Thanks bro...I have done nothing but pray about it and I think there is hope...Just maybe..
Respect and Thanks,
Bam-
Lowdown5
06-10-07, 4:58 pm
BamBam92, let me add my 2 cents. I have a 22 year old son, if he told me that he wanted to be a bodybuilder and I had no knowledge of what that was, I would probably be the same way your family is. They understand what doctors and lawyers and shit do. But they don't understand what you want to do, so their reaction is normal. Educate them Bro, explain why it is important to you, tell em your goals. Let em know that you need their support, you need them behind you (you may not think you do, but it is easier with them on board). But do not let them take you off your quest. Just invite them along for the ride.
...Don't know your Family...
...Don't know you...
Got it.
How have the people around you react to your new body?
You'd think that since we are makin' ourself stronger and leaner that everyone would have positive things to say or feel about us. Not so, from my experience...
* My GF is prolly the worst of them all. It seems like she despises what I'm doing, although I'll admit at first I wanted to change to make her happier with me (not so anymore - I do it for me and me alone). She wont compliment me at all on my progress - if anything she overlooks it. Doesnt encourage me at all. But I've learned to live with it.
* A few of my buddies have kinda turned up their noses at me. Like because I'm transforming and they arent they think that I think I'm somehow better than them.
*Family is somewhat encouraging. "you're gettin big" type responses, all positive and uplifting so far.
* My co-workers are probably the most positive. They make positive comments to me and about me all the time. They seem to be truly happy for me, and ask tons of questions about whats going on with me, etc.
* Even women (and guys) that I dont know 'comment positively'. They will stare and do double takes sometimes. I'm not a bad looking guy, never have been, but now it seems theres quite a bit of positive attention comming my way.
The most ironic of all of these? The ones I want to like the changes the most are the ones who act like they couldnt give two shits.
Thats ok though. I aint doin this for them - any of them, and their reactions , be it positive or negaitive - wont change my actions one single bit.
Man I get mixed responses. But some...no most of them you have to take with a grain of salt and look at who it is coming from.
Coworkers- shit I work in a gym so thas all we talk about
Family- Pretty encouraging. They dont like the eating. My dad always says, dammit Im not gonna support you 5000 calorie diet.
Friends- the comments I mostly dont listen to. Like today I was in the mall. I say one of my friends and went to say wassup. Soon as I came over he started walking around with his arms out to the side like he had lats the size of Texas jokin with me and askin why I walk like that. One of my friends is obese and he absolutely hates being see around me in instances where I have on just a wife-beater or sumthin. Other comments include put a shirt on, stay off the roids and horse pills, shit like that.
Thats ok though. I aint doin this for them - any of them, and their reactions , be it positive or negaitive - wont change my actions one single bit.
That's all that matters.
I always get looks and most of the time, compliments from strangers or from those that see me train and I get asked for loads of advice..typical questions from males and females. Its cool..I enjoy the fact that people respect what I do and how I look even if they do not wish to achieve the same thing for themselves. Not all women want to be muscular, many are actually fine with carrying bodyfat and just staying fit..and thats fine, so when women approach me with all these different questions on fitness and exercises, I always lend out a helping hand.
Some males are intimidated by me and it shows in how they stick their nose up at me in the gym or when they purposely get in my way while I am holding onto heavy ass db's..but its cool..I pay them no mind...I mess with them for fun.
My husband, flat out told me I am just unattractive to him they way I look now. That is fine too..I built this physique for me and even though its hard work to maintain and to keep improving on, it boils down to the fact that this is who I am and who I always was meant to be. I am good at what I do and I am extremely passionate about it. Nobody can take that away from me...or you! You take your dreams as far as you want and if others support you, that is fantastic! If they don't well, its all in how you accept and approach them individually. You can just shut them out completely or you can explain to them..if they mean enough to you, that they must accept you for who you are, even if they cannot comprehend why you are the way you are.
My case is a no-win situation for me. Choices were made and I stick with my final decisions. If others dont like it and cannot work with me on it, then I move on..always move foward.
My girlfriends supportive about my change in lifestyle and wanting to improve myself. But there are things that annoy her: me needing to get in six meals, not being able to go out to dinner, me having to go to bed early. Its funny too when I show her pics on this website of guys she deff doesnt want me to be that "big". I let here think what she wants but in the end the size and strength of my body will be controlled by me. Im not going to look a certain way for anyone.
squattingtillipuke
06-19-07, 8:18 am
My husband, flat out told me I am just unattractive to him they way I look now.
I'm sorry to hear that...I don't see his opinion as true but hey that's me. My personal thought is that the "for better or worse" thing you say has to stick...my wife and I have three kids (8.4, 10.1 and 9.11 lbs birth weight), tell me that her body didn't get messed up from those three. It's not the body that she had when I fell in love with her but it doesn't matter to me. A lot of times I feel like Nicolas Cage in Family Man when I look at her when he tells Tea' Leona "you really have grown into a beautiful woman."
As far as other people's opinions and this thing we do. I don't give a shit what anyone thinks other than me. I'm only doing this for myself and my family. I want to make sure that when i'm 50 I'm not one of those dads that can't go out and play football in the back yard with the kids.
mick
i hear you bro.....the only one that really doesn't like it is my gf though....she hates this lifestyle and she hates the look....so the bigger i get the more she isn't attracted to me...so what do i do...keep getting fucking big...she doesn't like it i will find a woman that does...as for the family my bro is right there along side of me...we are both into the life as well as most of our friends so it works out pretty well....just keep getting big bro..b/c in the end the struggle is only with yourself...keep doing it for you....good luck brothers
krazyassmexican
06-19-07, 8:53 am
well everybody tells me i look good
one of my boys ask me
if i was sick
and i was like no why?
he's like
u lost a lot of weight
everytime i heard something like that makes me want to go to the gym and do my thing
i guess it swings both ways, and either way i don't give a shit. at my age i have pretty much weeded out the dicks and naysayers, all my friends have my back, and while they don't lift or plan on starting, they will fly compliments my way when its due. my wife has never been keen on a muscle bound body, she prefers toning like say Brad Pitt, but at the same time surprises me with supps or more plates; 100% behind me because its what i love to do. i haven't been greeted with one negative comment in all of this, and people understand that while they may not know why i do it, they know i love to do it, and thats good enough for them.
bigmack712004
06-19-07, 10:55 am
My mom-doesn't understand
My dad-tells me to do what I want in order to be happy
My 17 yr. old sister-asks if I have ever taken steroids
My 11 yr. old brother-sits and looks at BB magazines with me and loves em
My other relatives-complement me on my size but always ask if I wanna look like that (bodybuilding pics)
My friends-Understand who I am and accept that I can't always hang out, but most of them know my schedule by now
Strangers-Compliments, Looks of Disgust, etc.
Last weekend it was funny. My friend had a party so I tended bar to keep busy since I wasn't drinking. I got a drink spilled on me and took off my t-shirt and left on my tank but when I did that I heard about 3-5 girls whistling and screaming. I know we don't do it for them but its always a plus when this happens, and for me it was a first and I felt like my work must be paying off and showing if this is gonna start happening. But anywho, even if it didn't I would keep working the shit outta my body and feeding my muscles iron and steel.
Grond Al-Ghoul
06-19-07, 10:59 am
making these kind of life changes with your bodies eventually leads to your lifestyles being very different than prior to getting into lifting/fitness. people will resent you, call you narcissistic, and maybe even befriend you. be prepared for all of it. those who arent in your corner no matter what werent really with you to begin with. kind of fucked up, but hey, people are. they begin to resent the dedication you show, and in turn the changes you make, it makes them feel less about themelves because deep down inside they have probably admitted to themselves that they cant do what youre doing... dont have the will power etc. my favorite are the fat ass beer guzzlers that slap their gut and say thats all the muslce they need. having to be around alot of people who didnt support me caused me to lose alot of friends... but hey... if they cant be there for you... what good are they to begin with?
it seems to be a common theme that they begin to think YOU think youre better than they are because of what you do... when in reality its their insecurity fighting to find reasoning OTHER than the fact that theyre actually insecure about it.
Oh I so relate to that last post...I get called selfish all the time..selfish and obsessive. To an extent, yes, it may be obsessive because we constantly strive to improve, but who doesnt? We are picky over our diets, we train a specific way, we act a certain way, we hold our head up a bit higher and yes, there is an arrogant tone to our nature, especially when you have done a show or two or reached your training/dieting goals and are looking to exceed them by moving up to the next level in your training agendas.
You want to be successful at work, but of the course what gets thrown in my face is that work brings in a paycheck. Not everything has to be rewarded with cash...yes, we must work to survive, but what I get out of my training is a much different type of reward and nobody seems to appreciate personal achievement and accomplishments outside of a "career" anymore.
I guess it boils down to not only differences in opinions but different mindsets and different priorites. Of course, my first priority is my son but I have learned to balance my lifestyle with his. I have yet to balance it all with another...meaning a possible love of my life...if and when that will ever happen is yet another unanswered question for me.
Kiwi129
06-19-07, 12:25 pm
My dad is the proudest of me. He's a big fuckin dude... 6'3" and 220 lbs. He wasn't "embarassed" of me before... but just used to say how skinny I was. I've put on about 35-40 lbs. of solid muscle in the last year and 8 or so months (and stayed lean... around 10% BF) and he's always saying how much bigger I've gotten and asks about my diet and training and stuff.
My mom and my sister are nice about it in a girl way. My sister says all her friends think I should be an Abercrombie model. Yea... that's the phase I'm in unfortunately. 6'3" about 180 lbs. and lean.
I love when my family and relatives come over every 6 months and are like amazed at how different I look. Makes me feel good. Everyone's basically happy (and somewhat jealous...) because I'm living a healthy lifestyle. Eating healthy and exercising... not drinking and smoking like some of my friends.
I completely agree with what everyone else has said. Especially why we do what we do. It's for us and us only. My wife always complains, telling me I put the gym before her and my son. I tell her lifting is a part of my life and I incorporate it into my daily schedule. My son and my wife will always come first, especially if something were to ever happen to them. They're far more important than a workout, for me anyway. But that's something my wife hasn't understood thus far. It puts a strain on our relationship sometimes, but like it has been said, except me for who I am and what I do. If we all did that there would be a whole lot less hatred in the world. I guess some people will never understand, but that's life. I take the compliments with thanks and gratitude and I use the negative things said as fuel for the fire when it's me vs. the iron.
Space Cowboy
06-19-07, 1:25 pm
Yea, this is a strange planet at times. People cant wait to encourage healthy eating, but when healthy eating x 10 is involved and the first whiff of bodybuilding is sensed, it reaches a whole new level of ignorance.
(In theatre recovery, i have no patient to recover from surgery for 20mins or so, so i decide to check on some recipes from this forvm, a nurse comes over)
"Oh that looks nice, you gettin in to cookery? What site is this?" I explain, she turns her nose up, "your goin to ruin your body, all those drinks you take (protein and SHOCK THERAPY) , why do you want to get all big and veiny???"
Oh, ok then, i'll jus eat lettuce and do cross-stitch for the forseable future.
I can relate to seifer in the fact that, yea, colleagues at work are easily the most positive. Always "paul, your getting solid", "let me feel that chest" etc, along with social observations "since youve been gettin big, your so much more confident". Great, tho i take every kind word as a kiss on the cheek, let it stay for a few seconds, then wipe it off and remember im not even on the 1st rung of the ladder yet.
Friends are becoming a little impatient of the life tho. Now i bust my nuts either directly before or after a 10-12 hour shift at work, on a 4 day split of weights with 2 days inc cardio and an extra single day devoted to cardio (running, bike, swimming and some heavy poundage on the abs). Now i dont go through all this to fuck it all up with alcohol. So if i now have time to go to pubs/clubs, i'll be the guy drinkin pure orange juice, or if pushing it, a diet coke, they think im nuts, i think ive got a big fucking journey.......in the gym and on a social/personal level outside. Yet ive never been happier with life or myself.
EASI
* My GF is prolly the worst of them all. It seems like she despises what I'm doing, although I'll admit at first I wanted to change to make her happier with me (not so anymore - I do it for me and me alone). She wont compliment me at all on my progress - if anything she overlooks it. Doesnt encourage me at all. But I've learned to live with it.
* A few of my buddies have kinda turned up their noses at me. Like because I'm transforming and they arent they think that I think I'm somehow better than them.
for those that are not supportive.....fuck em.
your gf...ditch the bitch
your buddies...get new friends. Fuck all of them. if they cannot accept you for who you are...Fuck em. everyone around me is very positive...because those are the people i keep around me. i dont need negative fuckers around me about my lifting. they get in the fucking way of progress...and i already have the weights for that.
brandona
06-19-07, 3:39 pm
Nobody says anything to me...Stacy says i am going to be scarry like the big men in the mags...But when there is heavy shit to move, any guess who they call?....
Hear no bullshit, see no bullshit, speak no bullshit.....
-B
Space Cowboy
06-19-07, 3:47 pm
But when there is heavy shit to move, any guess who they call?....
-B
Yes Yes Yes, i get that all the freggin time at work.
"Hey paul, we need help gettin a BIG patient onto the operating table"
"Paul, we need the water drum changed on the dispenser"
"Paul, can you carry these boxes of saline to theatre"
"Can someone get paul, my chocolate bars stuck in the vending machine and needs to be shaken out"
All the fuckin time............
EASI
billmd1334
06-19-07, 3:48 pm
Most people don't say much about my size... I mostly hear it about my diet... that's because 95% of the people out there don't have the desire and dedication to do what we do.
Space Cowboy what are your stats? Height, weight, BF%? Just curious I've never seen them around here before.
Lowdown5
06-19-07, 4:08 pm
I have one way to silence my critics. I carry around a picture of myself when I weighed 410 pounds. When they say that I have lost to much weight, why do I eat the way I do, go to the gym so much, take so many vitamins, I take out the picture and say politely "Would this be better?"
No one ever says yes.
My family supports me, me coworkers for the most part do, but I am on this journey for a selfish reason, to be an Animal.
Space Cowboy
06-19-07, 4:09 pm
Space Cowboy what are your stats? Height, weight, BF%? Just curious I've never seen them around here before.
Stay tuned for a Journey log if so curious!
EASI
stumblin54
06-19-07, 4:12 pm
I have one way to silence my critics. I carry around a picture of myself when I weighed 410 pounds. When they say that I have lost to much weight, why do I eat the way I do, go to the gym so much, take so many vitamins, I take out the picture and say politely "Would this be better?"
No one ever says yes.
My family supports me, me coworkers for the most part do, but I am on this journey for a selfish reason, to be an Animal.
That's some good shit bro.
Stumblin
Lowdown5
06-19-07, 4:14 pm
That's some good shit bro.
Stumblin
Appreciate it Bro!
Skater51o
06-19-07, 5:59 pm
For the most part my family is accepting. My mom and sister probably most. They are the ones who make the most comments.
My friends, well close ones. A few have made positive comments. My close friends are all into working out and going to the gym, But none of them do it right. They all resent me for the supplements I take.
One of my friends had brought up he wanted to take creatine. When I got on it he started talkin shit behind my back saying like, I dont knwo why he takes all these supplements and shit. Bottom line, They are working. Its their problem now.
They all sit there and say how im on "steroids" and all this bullshit. They are just jealous cause of the gains I have made.
my mum- doen't get it but she's ok with it cause i like it, and encourages me
my sister- she is impressed
my dad- doesn't like the idea that am getting bigger and stronger and is always trying to discourage me.
my best friend (more than a brother)- likes it and encourages me and competes with me - he is into bb too-.
my friends- some of them encourgaes me and some of them are trying to convince themselves that i ain't all that.
fellows at the gym- some complement me and some give me that disgusted look.
but i don't care i do what suits me
I feel what u guys are sayin about friends.I mean i was really sad lately that they simply seem to shut me down and kind'a ignoring me socially speakin since i've started 2 improve.They feel like i'm a threat or something.
I mean i have a dog and i studied them a lot and i think everybody knows how normal dogs treat pitbulls or bullterriers or the kind.It's like they feel the testosterone and strength and simply stay away or are agitated about them.
I think it's the same primal instinct.
Space Cowboy
06-19-07, 6:45 pm
i think everybody knows how normal dogs treat pitbulls or bullterriers or the kind.It's like they feel the testosterone and strength and simply stay away or are agitated about them.
I think it's the same primal instinct.
I think you'll find most people will stay a distance from pitbulls, its not jus a dog ting!!!
Its sad when you find those you think are closest to you, such as friends, feel intimidated or uneasy. Fair enough if your a big shot with a big mouth, rattlin on bout how big you are, how much you can lift. But when you stay humble, yet they get jealous coz someone gives you a nice comment, well that jus seperates the real friends from the chaff. If there friends, they'll be happy for you and supportive, like this forvm at its best.
EASI
Sir J-Werk
06-19-07, 7:42 pm
The only comments that I truely take to heart of those of my family.... They saw the hell that I had put myself through when I was down to 140 pounds and hooked on everything but life....
Mom never really comes out and says anything about it but when I get home at night and there is a plate full of food and then some sittin' in the fridge waitin' on me I know she's thinkin' of me and cares....
Dad constantly tells me that he can tell how much time and effort I have put into this. And I can't tell you how many of my other family members have come up to me and said, "Your dad said that you had been working out... You can tell...." Isn't that every dad's job to brag on his kids? ....
My sister, well, she's an onnery thing and will strut around hitting poses and saying, "Hey, look at my manly muscles...." I love her....
I'm still not use to comments or compliments from other people; strangers if you will. Granted, I have posted a few pics on my journey here and some have commented on them and for that I am thankful and appreciative. I know they are sincere remarks. I don't know.... The people that I deal with on a day to day basis make me uneasy.... I just don't know what their intensions are when they tell me things like "You've filled out." or "You were a skinny thing when you started here." .... Although I can only assume that they are just trying to be nice sometimes I just want to ask them, "What? Do I meet your expectations now?"
.... Then again, I am anti-social by nature but extroverted by choice.
Stay Strong, stay Focused, stay Animal!
Respect.
Edit: How much of an ass am I that I forgot my training partner, Chris! Jeeze!
I personally love all the attention. And not in a vain way either. I don't care if it's good or bad. The controversy that we produce amongst other people should be fuel for us all.
Hear no bullshit, see no bullshit, speak no bullshit.....
-B
I like that, B. Did you come up with that? If so, mind if I quote it and use it?
gflash77
06-19-07, 9:11 pm
I've noticed that I get a lot of stares from both genders...I work out at a college gym and i am usually one of the biger guys there...Guys stare at me when they see me rep near the max of the leg press, and catch the girls checking me out on arm day.
shockandawe
06-20-07, 12:54 am
for all the people here talking about how there friends dont care about them anymore or are jealous of you, well, who gives a fuck about them.
i only have two friends in my life 1) beef
2)oatmeal
i get looks at the gym like "what the hell are you on" because i have really good vascularity. people come up to me and ask me how i got so cut and shit like that but usually they just look and dont say much because i dont talk to people at the gym.
my girlfriend - gives me shit about going to the gym everyday and working out all the time but not really negatively. most of the time shes supportive. ill never forget a week or two after we started dating, we were laying on a trampoline together and i stood up and helped her up when i just had my undershirt on. she got up and looked at my arms and chest and said "wow, your really hot". that comment made the sweat and hardwork worth it because i rarily get compliments.
my mom - hates that i take anything besides protein and thinks it will kill me.
my dad - doesnt get it
my friends - some of them get it and are supportive but a few of them are assholes about it and when i show up at a party they start walking around with their arms out
...sometimes it pisses me off when guys come in to the gym that dont work hard and obviously have great genetics and think they are better than me cause they are bigger than me. thats ok though, id rather work hard and get there someday than have it handed to me.
for all the people here talking about how there friends dont care about them anymore or are jealous of you, well, who gives a fuck about them.
i only have two friends in my life 1) beef
2)oatmeal
LOL!
My husband, flat out told me I am just unattractive to him they way I look now. That is fine too..I built this physique for me and even though its hard work to maintain and to keep improving on, it boils down to the fact that this is who I am and who I always was meant to be. I am good at what I do and I am extremely passionate about it. Nobody can take that away from me...or you! You take your dreams as far as you want and if others support you, that is fantastic! If they don't well, its all in how you accept and approach them individually. You can just shut them out completely or you can explain to them..if they mean enough to you, that they must accept you for who you are, even if they cannot comprehend why you are the way you are.
Well said.
Though it must be hard for you - your husband to says the way you look is unattractive.
BamBam92
07-09-07, 1:50 pm
Hey bros...just been reading the posts after mine and I wanna say thanks for everyone telling about your situation on this matter. It has really helped me out. I know I got a family here and as rcott1 said a few pages back...I have kept around the positive people in my life and welcome new ones...The only things that can stop me from my goals are the weights (and I can beat them) and God. I also wanna say if anyone here every needs anything that I am here. I dunno what that might entail but I am here and you all have a brother in me.
Thank you all again!
Respect,
BAM-
~snowman~
08-12-07, 5:45 pm
Guys I have never felt this bad about something that i have to do. I'm moving out next month with my brother to go to college and my parents are left alone with each other. Now i thought its gonna be hard for my mom to accept it but last night when we got the place and all that i saw my dad kinda breaking down. And my mom told me yesterday he is feeling really bad now. he has been diagnosed with depression, and i dont want him to get any worse. I'm just trying to see what i can do to make it easier for him. I'm gonna be living about an hour away from them and i have commited myself to go home every weekend, just like im committed to my training. So plz if u guys hae any suggestions just let me know appriciate it.
200lb weakling
08-12-07, 6:09 pm
My mom had depression bad about 20 years ago when she was around 50 and I was early 20's. Actually, I think it got at its worst when us kids were moving out come to think of it.
It is nothing to fool around with and I think in most cases it is a brain chemistry thing. My mom got on antidepressants and they have made all the difference. She has been very happy the past 10 years and is happy and healthy now.
He needs to see a professional. But the answer is likely to get the medication and TAKE IT AND STAY ON IT. No shame in it. Mostly, depressed people just have a brain chemistry difference from the rest of us. They should take advantage of the technology available.
Your dad only lives once. I hope he takes the steps needed and enjoys the rest of his life. HE DESERVES IT AND SO DO YOU AND THE REST OF HIS FAMILY AND FRIENDS.
Good luck to you.
~snowman~
08-12-07, 7:21 pm
yeah man thanks. he is actually takig antidepressent at the moment started about a week ago so we will see what that does for him. the thing is that like the most of us that idolize our parents, i idolize him so i never thought he would have a weakness. He is one of the toughest guys i know, so i hate to see him struggle at all.
Don't just run to the medicine cabinet. Have you tried talking to him? Maybe if you two sort it out 1 on 1 he'll be able to become comfortable with it.
DreamZero
08-12-07, 7:31 pm
Antidepressants don't always work for everybody, your father might have to try a couple of brands before finding what works for him.. Depression and paranoid runs free in my family, I know what you're going thru bro.. If your father seems comfortable talking openly about it, GO FOR IT. Depression must not be seen as a weakness and most people don't even realise it HAS neuro-chemical causes. Support him and keep contact with him as much as possible, even if you have to move out. Give him what you can until medecine puts him back on his feet.. Be strong bro
Far Beyond Driven
08-12-07, 7:39 pm
my mother went through the same thing. Depression also runs in my family, affecting me as well. This may sound cliche', but I found that exercising cleared a lot of that away. That, and a lot of talking to him, reassuring him, and letting him know that distance doesn't mitigate your love for him for a second might just work. I'm praying for the best for the both of you.
bigrhino
08-13-07, 12:02 am
i'm going away to school soon. if he is sad or depressed, try to do something with him. maybe go out to eat together or just watch TV together. if it is really bad, he may need profesional help. if he has meds for it, he probably has seen someone.
you probably already know this.
Pokoritel
08-13-07, 12:07 am
Guys I have never felt this bad about something that i have to do. I'm moving out next month with my brother to go to college and my parents are left alone with each other. Now i thought its gonna be hard for my mom to accept it but last night when we got the place and all that i saw my dad kinda breaking down. And my mom told me yesterday he is feeling really bad now. he has been diagnosed with depression, and i dont want him to get any worse. I'm just trying to see what i can do to make it easier for him. I'm gonna be living about an hour away from them and i have commited myself to go home every weekend, just like im committed to my training. So plz if u guys hae any suggestions just let me know appriciate it.
Thats an awesome idea. Weekends are perfect. Also during the week call them sometimes and have conversations. That should be fine I guess.
Lowdown5
08-13-07, 12:10 am
Talk to him. Communicate with him man to man. Spend as much time with him as you can when you can. Make the time to make him important in your life.
widdlewade44
08-13-07, 12:14 am
You're 'leaving the nest' and that's hard on parents and family, but it's what you're supposed to do.
In my opinion they have to be proud and happy and be there for you. Yeah, things are changing, but there changing all the time. You're only an hour away (so that'll help). I still think talking is the key. And professional help is always available. I've been in similar shoes...
Good luck bro.
Kevin
widdlewade44
~snowman~
08-13-07, 12:39 am
Thanks for all the help guys and i mean every single one of you. Maybe I had to mention this before since i dont write on the forum much, that part of his problem is the financial issues and job issues he has had during the last four years that we have moved to Canada. I mean He graduated from the States in mechanical engineering eventhough we r from Iran, but i guess that's not good enough for canada. Anyways during the first four years we had to do a lot of different shit just to make the money to get by. well we went as far as working in a farm just to make some money to get by and the first two years we were living in a basement. He still doesnt like his job but at least it has something to do with his field of knowledge. So i think since we went through everything together that's why he is getting depressed abit. its all good though Me and my bro r taking them out next week sometimes u know just to have fun and shit. I'm cutting right now so I can only eat on y cheat day lol and they know it. well thanks again guys and if u have any more suggestions plz let me know.
darkside64
08-15-07, 4:19 am
In another thread I posted what a rough time my family has been giving me about bodybuilding. Well yesterday the shit hit the fan. My dad said I have ten days before I have to move out. No problem right? wrong. I just moved to germany(havent lived here since 3rd grade) and have no idea what to do. Time is against me, and I have no money. I wanted to do a internship at a fitness studio and eventually be a personal trainer. However that is impossible now, because pay for the first three years is next to nothing, and I wouldnt be able to afford it. Everyone here keeps telling me that you need some kind of education in some place, otherwise your fucked. Problem is I dont have the time or money to start applying for interships(thats what the y call it here). Then of course comes another important aspect. Bodybuilding. Im not gonna give up on my dream of becoming and IFBB Pro. The way I see it pressure turns coals into diamonds. I just cant seem to think clearly on what to do. Another thing is that I have gotten a lot of offers on jobs that are half time jobs. Meaning they only pay up to 400 euros. Anything full time without education is asaninie, because they pay about 6 euros an hour. (before taxes). Shit guys, I know a lot of the guys here have overcome shit, and can give me some advice. Thanks
naturalguy
08-15-07, 5:44 am
The truth is without an education your options are going to be limited. Find the best paying job you can while at the same time find a way to get your education.
Either way you don't have to give up on bodybuilding. You CAN train hard, eat right and work full time and go to school. It sounds like a lot to do at once but if you are determined enough you can get it done. You may have to break your ass for a few years but the payoff down the road will be great. You have to see the big picture.
John R. Nocero
09-13-07, 7:50 pm
Hi guys - great topic. My wife now is supportive. she said originally she won't have her life lived around my lifting schedule. but I am finding as long as I make time for her, and show her what is really important, work, school, family, lifting, and do as I say and say as I do, she is cool.
She loves to go home to see her folks and I finally found the gym in her hometown that I can go to in order to get away from the in-laws! LOL
and I seriously cannot wait to lift with my son. he is 7 now and I am so looking forward to sharing my passion of lifting with him. I am sure then that will be okay b.c I am contributing to his development!
-J
leiner350
10-09-07, 6:39 pm
For me, the gym is where i get away. get away from work. the hassals with the girlfriend. It is the only place where you can sit down...stare your self in the face and say" get up and shut up" So many of times the stressers in my world feel like they are an unmoveable weight on my shoulders. After i work my self to the point of pukeing, every thing doesnt look as bad. If your haveing a really bad day. kick your own ass in the gym. It helps. The weight room is the median of your life. it never changes. It never bitches at you. And it never asks questions. My apartment is not my home. The weight room is where my heart and determination is. Its always there. And it allways calls your name. But the question is can you hear the call?
It can be an issue when it comes to money, but thankfully my wife and I both work well together on that front and rarely get into a full fledged fight about it.
Actually the biggest problem I have with family is them always trying to get me to eat bad. I always hear "Just once won't kill you" (regarding training or eating bad), so I always have to say something along the lines of "Yeah, but when you say that every week that shit adds up."
No kids here, I can only imagine how much harder that would make things.