the anorexic mind is quite complex and twisted to say the least..i have been tinkering with idea of starting a log about my recovery as a way of dealing with it..let me tell you this has not been easy for me,eating is the hardest thing i have to do..every day is a fuckin struggle to get all those meals in..even now i obess over every crumb i put into my mouth. I have to tell myself you never gonna get stronger without all that food..sometimes it works and sometimes not...as time passes my mind has become more clear to whats real not the imaginary fat chic in the mirror..she doesn't exist..i will start from the beginning and work my way to the present as this log progresses..believe me it won't be pretty at times and my selfloathing will shine through but iam doing this for me..