Tuned in, again...Hope things start looking up for you.
Same here.
Fraternal order of the Animal
The Crew™
Saraigh
"I don't need no arms around me.
And I dont need no drugs to calm me.
I have seen the writing on the wall.
Don't think I need anything at all.
No, don't think I'll need anything at all.
All in all it was all just bricks in the wall."-Pink Floyd
lamb of god has a new album out so i named this post after a song from that album which by the way kicks ass.. well lets see i have been busting some serious ass lately but only gained two fuckin pounds iam thinking what the fuck my strength is going up but no weight gain.. my old bod is pissing me off...maybe i am shiiting all the food out who knows..i feel good and that stupid fat girl in the mirror hasnt been bothering me, good u stupid bitch fuck off..i go to a therapist and they want me on some sort of drug to combat my eating disorder and my social phobia i have but i hate scripts even antibotics make me feel strange and even tho iam strange anyway why make it worst,i told them i would think about it...i wanted to say screw u and your drugs i dont need them but maybe i do..i fall off the path and smash my head all the time and gotta start from square one every god damn time..well iam ill and socially malajusted and violent lol i love being me! now that iam back to my normal pissed off at the world self i gotta start a new thread in the training section iam getting really good at burpees and side planks and sumo squats yay! so stay tuned for more crazy heavy weight from the littlest person on this fucking site..the mini animal!!!!
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
lamb of god has a new album out so i named this post after a song from that album which by the way kicks ass.. well lets see i have been busting some serious ass lately but only gained two fuckin pounds iam thinking what the fuck my strength is going up but no weight gain.. my old bod is pissing me off...maybe i am shiiting all the food out who knows..i feel good and that stupid fat girl in the mirror hasnt been bothering me, good u stupid bitch fuck off..i go to a therapist and they want me on some sort of drug to combat my eating disorder and my social phobia i have but i hate scripts even antibotics make me feel strange and even tho iam strange anyway why make it worst,i told them i would think about it...i wanted to say screw u and your drugs i dont need them but maybe i do..i fall off the path and smash my head all the time and gotta start from square one every god damn time..well iam ill and socially malajusted and violent lol i love being me! now that iam back to my normal pissed off at the world self i gotta start a new thread in the training section iam getting really good at burpees and side planks and sumo squats yay! so stay tuned for more crazy heavy weight from the littlest person on this fucking site..the mini animal!!!!
never judge a person by there size boys! i do lift with powerlifters haha!
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
I never got into lifting to be ripped,I got into it as therapy for my anger problem and to get me to gain weight if I don't lift I don't eat.. Not a cool thing for me to do..Iam surprised this sickness hasn't killed me I guess it has made me stronger..strength is the important thing, to suffer and overcome and do things I never thought I could do. My strength is back up Iam as pissed off as ever and I gained a lil weight losing some teeth kinda scared me if I get more pulled Iam gonna be toothless and drinking my meals thru a straw fuck that would blow..no ones gonna want to date a chic with no teeth not that I get any dates anyway men are intimated by me and I know there fucking games and I won't have it so they don't even try. Plus the guys around here are a bunch of hicks and being a city girl they just don't cut it, whatever I dont care. I got better things to worry about!!! Like busting ass!!!! And buy weight gainer and eating steaks and walking my pitbull!! I don't need a man to complete me. Iam too independent and to be honest a major bitch!
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
my anger has always been my driving force to push me forward or pull me into the pit of hell.. over the years harnessing that anger into some more positive for myself has been hard and an everyday struggle..one conclusion i have come to is what others think of me is not important it is how i see myself..i dont lift to look hot for some douchebag man or men i lift for health reasons and it keeps the beast inside me at bay,my self destructive side..the starvation slave,which lately hasnt been much of a problem..my eating has been pretty good so i shall continue my path and hopefully at this point wont fall into another pothole!
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
i have always been interested in what makes people tick..especially those cases u see on the news like that dick who shot all those people in colorado or columbine and virginia tech..u always hear why would someone do that from the reporters or the many others that follow these cases..like that girl who hung herself in mass after being bullied in school and the many others just like her who are emotionally tourtured by other to the point of a nervous breakdown or being so vilolent they kill in mass..i have things in common with quite a few of these people so i can personally see why they do what they do..maybe if people were not so judgemental of others and accepted that we are all unique and different and embrace those differences so much of this shit could be avoided but as i have seen most people dont see how there bullying or degrading another effects that person thru out ther lives..it def has affected me and as in many cases gotten people killed over it..society needs to be kinder to those they think different it could save many...it could have saved me from myself!
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
throughout this thread i have talked alot about my eating disorder but it is not the only problem i have...i suffer from antisocial behavior..it stems back from my childhood...as early as age 5 when i first started going to school..i remember i went to a sleepover party thing and got nervous for one reason or another and called my mom to pick me up..in my teen years it didnt affect me as bad thanks to drugs and alcohol i was quite the social fuckin butterfly but in my adult life sometimes it cripples me to the point where i wont leave my house with the exception of the gym and walking my dog wont call anyone or talk to anybody..my comfort level is only normal at home..lately i have been trying to combat this problem by making myself do things i wouldnt normally do like for instance starting an ABC at my gym having people call me so iam forced to be social..there are meds for this problem i refuse to take them they make u drowsy i cant be that way i got to much energy so i have had to think of ways to force myself to be more social than iam..it fuckin blows and i dont wish it on anyone..its like permanent stage fright...
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
two years ago a friend of mine killed himself and i was the one who found him with his face blown apart...it hit me really hard,seeing that shit was to much for me to handle so i lost it,stopped training stopped eating stopped talking to people its no wonder our boys come back from war and have pts..i was pretty calm though when i called 911 and the cops were surprised i held it together as well as i did..it threw me off my path that for sure and i have never shed one tear over it..i finally got myself back together and iam doing what i gotta do..it was a fuckin giant pothole and it took everything i had to crawel out of it....
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
Wow it been along time since I posted here. But i am back at it again. I know most people on this site are men , which is fine .maybe my words can help someone else who is a starvation freak or a fucking bulimic. It's twisted and sick to think that u can never be skinny enough. . At 98 pounds I wanted to be thinner. To bad that image in the mirror didn't slap me in the face a hundred times. I never want tobe that thin again ever. It would kill me tthis time for sure. It should have already. Lifting has saved me more than anyone could ever realize. I am def not the biggest or the strongest and i am not going to be in a fucking beauty contest but lifting and living the weight room is so much better than starving my self and stressing about food and calories or that i am fat or whatever. I fight with myself everyday to make sure I eat and I know it will always be a struggle. I was sick for to long not to. It's alright tho it makes my mind stronger. ,which is as important as my body. I will overcome.
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
Yes, you will overcome... And we are all here to walk beside you... Glad to see you posting again...
Fraternal Order of the Animal-Demon
The Crew™
Saraigh
Ohio Valley ABC
Chapter Coordinator
"WE HAVE SENT THE MESSAGE LOUD AND CLEAR. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, THE HUNGRY ONES. THIS IS OUR JUNGLE AND WE ARE THE ANIMALS. THIS IS WHERE THE STRONG GET STRONGER AND THE WEAK GET EATEN. THIS IS WHERE MUSCLE AND THE MIND BECOME ONE, FUSION OF THE FUTURE. ONCE YOU ENTER THERE IS NO RETURN. YOU SURVIVE OR DIE. THIS IS OUR PARADISE. BECOME ONE OF US." ~RICK BAYARDI
Thanks sister. The journey was still on even tho I was not here to post it.
I have no doubt... Our journeys never end...
Fraternal Order of the Animal-Demon
The Crew™
Saraigh
Ohio Valley ABC
Chapter Coordinator
"WE HAVE SENT THE MESSAGE LOUD AND CLEAR. WE ARE THE CHAMPIONS, THE HUNGRY ONES. THIS IS OUR JUNGLE AND WE ARE THE ANIMALS. THIS IS WHERE THE STRONG GET STRONGER AND THE WEAK GET EATEN. THIS IS WHERE MUSCLE AND THE MIND BECOME ONE, FUSION OF THE FUTURE. ONCE YOU ENTER THERE IS NO RETURN. YOU SURVIVE OR DIE. THIS IS OUR PARADISE. BECOME ONE OF US." ~RICK BAYARDI
This post is gonna be a little off my normal subject matter. I just have to bitch about something and since this is my thread Ian gonna do just that. I know that most of u out there are men and that's fine , but since when is animal only about men? I have bee. On this site off and on for 8 years. I lift as hard as any man in some cases heavier than some men. Animal has helped Me achieve my goals especially machine with his awesome and inspirational posts which are geared toward all men and women. I was on instagram asking why they don't have women's gear and the answer I got pissed me off royally. If animal is only about men then why the Fuck can I be on this site ?And be the coordinator of the Vermont abc? Animal is about strength athletes not just male athletes. well I hope it's that way. If not I will be really pissed off. U don't want to see me really pissed off u won't like it I can assure u of that.. I am done with that now.. bitch piss moan.
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
to be thin or not to be thin,that is the question.
The conflict with in is very deep for me. Anyone who has an eating disorder struggles with body image. The sicker u become the more distorted that image becomes. I have re-read this thread on occasion, some people might think I feel better by doing this. I don't. I get more pissed. I am pissed at the injustices in my life but not just my life. Others who go thru this shit as well. I hate knowing that others are willing to starve themselves to death or put up with assholes who pick on them to make themselves feel better. It pissed me off to no end all the crap I read about that goes on in the world. People are so immune to all theproblems in the world it makes me sick. And worst of all nobody seems to care. I post on social networks about eating disorders and social phobia and bullying and nothing from anyone . Bastards don't give a shit until it happens to them then they might care. Damn I am ranting.the dilemma of the anorexic mind is how to be thinner and it takes over everything.the rage I feel has taken over it moves me forward to the next level. A better level that I can't getused to quite yet. My old mind set is still there of course creeping in the back of my mind and it does come out now and then.I hate when I start thinking crazy. Your fat and u need to lose more weigh and u eat to much and all that other shit. I can't go back to that. To be or not to be I choose not to be..
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'
As a lot of people can gather from my writing Iam a very angry person. I don't like the world and I don't like a lot of people either. I walk around like a ticking time bomb. The anger is always there right under the surface. Say the wrong thing to me could set me off depending what mood Iam in. I can wake up pissed then as the day goes on I calm down or wake up alright and be pissed later on. I am comfortable with anger , sadness is foreign to me and I feel it's a wasted emotion. I can't even remember the last time I was sad. My anger helps me in the weight room without it my lifting would suck the big one. I need it to train just like I need loud crazy hardcore and metalmusic to train they go hand in hand . There's only one time of the day I am calm that is right after lifting ,a calm comes over me it last awhile maybe a few hours but it is the one time I am not pissed and wanting to punch someone or something or yell at someone. I have heard from people that I should let shit go and not let my past bother me,well I say Fuck that ,my rage is what pushes me to excel in the weight room and in life in general. If they don't like it well tough shit. This is who iam. Pissed off...
REIGN IN BLOOD
"IF THESE WALLS COULD TALK,THEY WOULD TELL A HORROR STORY"
THE CONGREGATION 'SMITE THE SHEPARD AND THE SHEEP WIILL BE SCATTERED'