I have always half assed everything.. not because I don’t enjoy working hard but because things naturally come easy to me. I was that kid... I’d rather sleep in class cram 10 minutes prior to the test and take the B. I procrastinate because I when I do work I have no problem delivering on the spot. My whole life mentally I have been ahead of the curve and I abused every second of it. My journey I would say begun once I enlisted active duty 5yrs ago at the ripe age of 19; 6' 4" a whole 180lbs and killen about 16 pushups in a minute. I was a sack of chewed gum. I graduated boot physically by the skin of my teeth, next stop the DoD Fire Academy. Fast forward to today, over the years I have changed much more into your stereo typical fire fighter. The quiet once scrawny young buck became an capable, driven, confident individual , just about a year of marriage under his belt and a bun in the oven. It hit me one day though that not all that much has changed, am I that strong? Am I that driven? Am I that capable. And this where things become Engaged I became... Engaged. Engaged in my life, my physical being, my mind, my career. The idea of my son's birth fathered an awareness of my own death. On the day I pass, I wanna look back and say I did it, I engaged my life I simply didn’t sleep through it and accept mediocrity. I took control of myself and created my own way. I have been deployed for some time now, with this new outlook I have started to walk this path of change. Every thought, every move, every meal, every rep, one step closer to my goals. So I can look back and say I was that guy I conquered the weight I moved it no one did but me, I , and my self. I like it... no.. I love it... something I cant sleep through and still be decent at. With bodybuilding the proof is in the pudding you can talk and talk and talk all day but come lift time the bar aint gonna move itself and running your mouth wont do it either. Every day I tell myself put up or shut up scrub kuz ya know this shit don’t come easy.